In one of the ultimate tragedies of modern American political life, Alvin Green – the unemployed, currently living with his parents and indicted for showing a white Clemson co-ed pornography – was defeated in his bid to become a United States Senator:
Based on AP analysis of preliminary exit poll data, the Republican rolled over unemployed military veteran Alvin Greene, a Democrat who won his party’s nomination but not its support.
Greene lives with his father and faces a felony obscenity charge, accused of showing pornography to a female college student. During occasional interviews in his nominal campaign, Greene insisted that DeMint had started the recession.
Greene barely campaigned and never raised enough to break the $5,000 threshold that required him to report finances.
DeMint spent $3.5 million he raised to instead help other conservative candidates.
In defeat, Greene was able to collect an astounding 356,969 votes:
U.S. Senate: Republican Jim DeMint’s win wasn’t surprising, but there was real hope that third-party or write-in candidates could make a nice-sized dent in the race. For naught. DeMint’s 63 percent finish makes for a solid-looking victory when you don’t consider the context of a colossal mess like Alvin Greene. The Democrat did pull in 28 percent of the vote, with 356,969 people sa http://voices.washing
tonpost.com/comic-riffs/2010/11/best_comics_pitch_of_the_day_c.html ying they’d rather have him than DeMint. So, there is that embarrassment.
Though he won’t represent South Carolina, Alvin Greene is making a bid to resurrect the memory of one of professional wrestling’s most popular, charismatic, and enigmatic stars, the Ultimate Warrior. Legally, of course, this is a specious claim because wrestler – the real Ultimate Warrior – owns the trademark to the name. This isn’t stopping Alvin Greene, a man who once said that manufacturing superhero toys of himself could bring South Carolina out of the economic abyss.
Losing is only the first part of the journey for Alvin Greene, as he plans to create a comic book based on his concept (already trademarked and legally owned by the wrestler the Ultimate Warrior) of being the Ultimate Warrior:
Faster than an incumbent politician, stronger than the Hulk, able to leap both Michael Jordan and the ballot box in a single leap from logic. Alvin Greene may have lost his offbeat bid for the Senate, but no one, apparently, defeats his alter ego: the “Ultimate Warrior.”
Greene’s candidacy ended as quirkily as it began Tuesday night, with the Democratic challenger posing no threat to South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint — yet in the alternate universe of comics, Greene remained unbowed.
Speaking to a handful of reporters on Election Night, Greene paused to pitch his comic book featuring a do-gooder superhero helping families in foreclosure, reports WBTV.com — the vanquished surreally touting the superpowers of the ever-victorious “Ultimate Warrior.”
Of his superheroic “alter ego,” Greene tells reporters, citing a couple of retired athletes: “He can see into the future. He is faster than [Olympic medalist] Maurice Greene and he can outleap [Michael] Jordan.”
If only, for Greene’s sake, Ultimate Warrior could outpoll a sitting senator. With great power, it seems, comes great eccentricity.
For more “Ultimate Warrior” images, you can click here.
The WWF wrestler, The Ultimate Warrior, was billed as being from Parts Unknown. Alvin Greene is an individual who is truly from Parts Unknown, and we at SBPDL wish him a successful post-election career.
Based on some of the characters that have appeared in WWF/WWE before, Alvin Greene might just fit right in Vince McMahon’s cartoonish and racially insensitive world.
Still though, how did he get that many votes? That should go without saying.
The new US Senate will have no Black people and that is a travesty. The faux Ultimate Warrior Alvin Greene would have undoubtedly made some inspiring speeches on the floor of the Senate, and we are all poorer for his losing.
More election coverage will be coming up later tonight.
From Exit Polls, Alvin Greene got 80 percent of the Black vote in South Carolina:
Nationwide, 90 percent of Black people voted Democratic.
Fifty-three percent of Black college graduates voted for Greene, while 82 percent of Black people without degrees voted for Mr. Greene.