The Unz Review • An Alternative Media Selection
A Collection of Interesting, Important, and Controversial Perspectives Largely Excluded from the American Mainstream Media
 BlogviewPepe Escobar Archive
Meet a Moderate Syrian Insurgent
Email This Page to Someone

 Remember My Information



=>

Bookmark Toggle AllToCAdd to LibraryRemove from Library • BShow CommentNext New CommentNext New ReplyRead More
ReplyAgree/Disagree/Etc. More... This Commenter This Thread Hide Thread Display All Comments
AgreeDisagreeThanksLOLTroll
These buttons register your public Agreement, Disagreement, Thanks, LOL, or Troll with the selected comment. They are ONLY available to recent, frequent commenters who have saved their Name+Email using the 'Remember My Information' checkbox, and may also ONLY be used three times during any eight hour period.
Ignore Commenter Follow Commenter
Search Text Case Sensitive  Exact Words  Include Comments
List of Bookmarks

Hi, my name is Mostafa and I’ll be your moderate insurgent today. I’m addressing you all because we badly need your help. We could have started a Facebook page, like We Need Your Weapons or something, or ask the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights to make a YouTube video, but I prefer to speak straight to your heart.

Our Supreme Commander, the blessed General Salim Idriss, has acknowledged we are now receiving many new weapons from many friendly Arab countries, which helped us “destroy more than 90 armored vehicles” of the Syrian regime. And Amrika helped us to get the guns, of course. But we need more.

Your President Mr Obama told the Blessed King of Saudi Arabia last Friday that he is committed to providing more support for us. Your Secretary of State Mr Kerry said on Saturday there must be more support for us “in order to have an impact on the ground”. Your CIA said they will make sure only moderate insurgents get the weapons, and not the bad guys.

But your Congress is blocking our weapons. Oh people from Congress!

Don’t be such a spoiler! We have such a brotherhood of nations here. People from 29 different countries! OK, there are a lot of Salafis, a bit hot headed. But for us they are all brothers. In fact most of us are moderate insurgents.

Don’t you like moderates? Remember when you wanted to talk to the moderate Taliban? Now you’re talking to the moderate Taliban! And the Pakistani Taliban, they are now even sending their people here to help us! The other day they raised a big, white Taliban flag somewhere in the Turkish-Syrian border. That was a blessed moment.

Our Taliban brothers are coming here via Saudi Arabia. Why don’t you do like Saudi? They never let us down; they always fight those apostates Iranians and Shi’ites. The Taliban too, they know how to fight apostates and Shi’ites. So we will learn a lot from them.

You see how hard is the life of a moderate rebel? Not only we have to fight the despicable dictator in Damascus – we fight Shi’ite apostates and we even fight terrorists! Oh, Amrika! The terrorists are among us as well, just as they are among you.

I’m talking about those terrorists of the Nusra gang. They are no good; not “clean cut”, as you say in Amrika. They killed our beloved brother Kamam Hamami in Latakia! They beheaded two of our valued brothers and left their heads by a garbage can in a square in Dana, in Idlib province, near the Turkish border. They raped a local boy. They are no good.

ORDER IT NOW

Remember that guy who ate the lung – or was it a kidney? – of a dead Syrian soldier? He was all over on YouTube? Well, people say he was one of us, and not a jihadi. He was a “moderate”. OK, I admit, he may have gone over the top, but who doesn’t? People, there’s a war going on here!

Please believe us: we’re not al-Qaeda; we’re the good guys. Those al-Qaeda, they cannot control even who’s a jihadi in Iraq and who’s a jihadi in Syria; they think it’s two separate things. Here in Syria there are so many jihadis from so many different places, we don’t even know who they are working for anymore, it’s a mess! But this has nothing to do with us. We’re the good guys.

Well, OK – it’s true that on the battleground, we have to talk to the not so moderates, and we even organize operations together. After all they are better fighters than we are. Some even fought against you, Amrika, in Anbar province in Iraq! And now they are your friends! But anyway, if only we would have more weapons … We would dump them right away! Make them go back to the back of beyond where they came from.

We promise you; we will do whatever you ask from us. We promise that every battle will be documented for your specialists – photos, YouTube, everything, we will send a full package to that operations room in Jordan. So you will see that we are really, really moderates. You can even get your NSA to spy on us to make sure we are really “clean cut”.

OK, all our glorious battalions celebrate fierce, historic Sunni Arab warriors. But after all they are our heroes. Don’t you celebrate your battle heroes in Amrika – like your president Eisenhower? So, yes, we are moderate, like your Eisenhower. We just want to win. Who does not want to win? Don’t you like guns? Don’t you all have guns at home? We also need guns – to defend ourselves. So please donate, generously. We promise we will never use these guns against you.

Thank you for your attention. I remain your humble servant, Mostafa.

(Republished from Asia Times by permission of author or representative)
 
• Category: Foreign Policy • Tags: Al Qaeda, Saudi Arabia, Syria 
Current Commenter
says:

Leave a Reply - Comments on articles more than two weeks old will be judged much more strictly on quality and tone


 Remember My InformationWhy?
 Email Replies to my Comment
Submitted comments have been licensed to The Unz Review and may be republished elsewhere at the sole discretion of the latter
Subscribe to This Comment Thread via RSS Subscribe to All Pepe Escobar Comments via RSS
PastClassics
Our Reigning Political Puppets, Dancing to Invisible Strings
The major media overlooked Communist spies and Madoff’s fraud. What are they missing today?
What Was John McCain's True Wartime Record in Vietnam?