Not for you, white man.
On his first day in office, Joseph Biden signed Executive order 13985, which pushes “diversity, equity, and inclusion” into every corner of everything the government does every day, anywhere in the world.
He ordered a “whole of government” approach to rescue “underserved communities.” What are they? Groups that have been “systematically denied a full opportunity to participate in aspects of economic, social, and civic life.”
And, boy, are there a lot of them.
First in line, “communities of color.” Of course, they have been overserved for decades, but never mind. Officially included – and this is something they’ve clamored for for years – are Arabs and Middle-Easterners. They, too, are now “systematically” oppressed, and can join the coveted ranks of the “underserved.” So are all immigrants. They are “underserved” the moment they get here.
But they have to share the joys of underservice with “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, gender non-conforming, and non-binary” persons, as well as persons – not women but persons – “who face discrimination based on pregnancy.”
Also among the “systematically denied” are all people with disabilities, all people who speak little or no English, and all criminals who have been to the big house.
This order also lets federal workers choose their pronouns and get free sex-change surgery.
The only people who have not been systematically oppressed – and who are therefore oppressing everyone else – are heterosexual, able-bodied, native-born, English-speaking white men who have never been to prison and never been pregnant. By my calculation, that’s about 25 percent of the population, and that includes babies and geezers, because it’s well known that white males are oppressors from birth until death.
Everyone in government will understand who the bad guys are because this executive order requires training in “systemic and institutional racism,” that is to say, Critical Race Theory.
The executive order is stuffed with “accountability.” There will be: “new reporting requirements,” “definitions of success,” “evidence-based and data-driven measurement of improvement,” “increased transparency,” “analysis of effectiveness,” and reports on “lessons learned.” There will be: Strategic Plans, quarterly goals, annual reports. That means racial bean-counting, right down to the last paperclip.
Every agency must have a Chief Diversity Officer as well as an Equal Employment Opportunity chief. Will there be turf wars?
The Office of Management and Budget is riding herd on the whole thing, and it will crack the whip. As Acting OMB Director Shalanda Young explained, “Large scale change becomes most feasible when a sense of urgency prevails.”
The more than 90 departments and agencies who got the order have now turned in their Equity Acton Plans to Shalanda, and are now at this nifty website.
I did not read them all. And I’d never heard of some of these agencies. The Millennium Challenge Corporation or the U.S. AbilityOne Commission. But they are all full speed ahead with equity, and I can tell you one thing.
There are fat times a-comin’ for “Minority Serving Institutions.” These are colleges and universities with a lot of non-white students, and the government is dying to shower grant money on them, recruit from them, have listening sessions with them, “partner” with them. It’s not just black colleges. There are eight different categories, including Tribal Colleges and Universities and Non-Tribal Institutions, and do you know how many there are?
As a hint, here are just a few of the minority-serving institutions in Texas alone.
Ever heard of any of these places? Well, there are 774 Minority Serving Institutions, and every time one of them gets a dollar or a pat on the head, that will be “evidence-based, data-driven” Equity Action that an agency can brag about.
Equity Action is clearly all about “reducing barriers.” If there aren’t enough black geologists or lesbian lieutenant generals, there’s only one reason: white men built barriers to keep them out, and by golly, we’re going to tear them down.
The Equity Action Plan for the Department of State says that “addressing systematic racism . . . worldwide, is a core tenet of President Biden’s foreign policy.”
What? America is riddled with systemic racism, but we’re going to tell everyone else how to get rid it? We sure are. We are going to “raise the visibility of racial and other inequities globally and generate better-informed foreign policies to decrease barriers to equity and equality worldwide.”
It won’t be easy. There could be “unwillingness to cede power by dominant groups.” There could even be “structural and unconscious biases” in places like Saudi Arabia or China, but we’ll teach those prejudiced bastards.
Meanwhile, back home, State has established its first-ever Agency Priority Goal.
It “ensures racial equity and support for underserved communities permeate all strategic planning, program and project design, consular activities, and procurement practices to steer U.S. foreign policy development and execution.” The oppressed and the underserved will develop and execute our foreign policy. Why?
State is proud to report that you don’t have to be male or female on your passport. You can be X. It also funded a study-abroad program for Alaska Indians to go make friends with Laplanders.
Why? The department brags that it sends custom-made video messages to every foreign post every year to commemorate the death of George Floyd, the Tulsa Race Riot, and Juneteenth. That’s equity action.
The CIA has a sporty plan. Sonya Holt wrote it, and included her email address and phone number, so you can tell her what you think.
The CIA would love to have more black and brown spooks, but they suffer from a “Lack of insight into the Agency’s mission, values, and role.” In other words, they don’t know what it does. I guess that’s because the CIA is engaged with only 150 Minority Serving Institutions rather than all 774. There also aren’t enough black and brown technical specialists, but that problem will be solved because “legislation allows CIA to provide grants to educational institutions from kindergarten to college.”
We’re going to have to start with Lashanda and Jesus in kindergarten to make them good spies. And then we bring them straight into the agency, because “we can now engage more frequently and in-depth on activities such as one-on-one discussions, resume writing, and professional development with both college and high school students.”
A CIA agent will sit down with you in high school and teach you how to write a resume – but not if you’re white.
NASA’s is the only snazzy, full-color Equity Action Plan that I saw.
Look at these happy, diverse people about to blast into space.
NASA promises to make grants to the underserved like there’s no tomorrow, and take the message of space to every minority serving institution in sight, but it will also do things I didn’t expect.
It’s deep into “environmental justice.”
It “identified a lack of potable water in the homes of at least 70,000 Navajo Nation residents to create a Drought Severity Assessment Tool.”
Why is that NASA’s job? It has also just produced an interactive comic book called First Woman in both English and Spanish starring Commander Callie Rodriguez.
Looking for a white man in this thing is like reading Where’s Waldo?
As you can see, diverse people are thrilled by it. If this doesn’t get us to Mars, nothing will.
You can download the app today.
I learned that, ever since 1975, there is a federal Japan-United States Friendship Commission, which supports research on Japan, and cultural exchange.
It is sorry to report that Japan studies is dominated by white men. Nothing daunted, it will “remove barriers and facilitate participation in the field across gender, racial, and ethnic lines.”
It has done a great job with its own staff of four. A black woman is boss over a white woman, a woman from India, and a disabled Filipino-American.
The commission promises to showcase American LGBTQ+ people and to challenge the Japanese to do the same. They’ll love that.
The EPA will build “community science” from tribal nations into its policies. The Smithsonian will make sure every one of its exhibits explains “how race has informed all our lives.” I have just scratched the surface. Who knows what other marvels there are in these plans?
If you are part of an underserved community, it must be nice to know that 2.7 million federal employees are straining every muscle, every day, to pick you up out of the gutter. Of course, the feds have been officially discriminating in favor of non-whites since Richard Nixon’s famous “Philadelphia Order” of 1969. And yet, here we are, under orders from Shalonda Young, to pretend that white people have spent the last 53 years building higher and higher barriers to keep her out.
This insanity is now baked into everything the government – and pretty nearly the whole country – does. Every single thing in every one of these 90 plans, is an insult to white men, an insult to the “underserved,” and a disgraceful waste of time and money.
How do white people like living in a country they built, where they are still the majority, but where they are the official enemy? Will things get better or worse when we’re a minority? I don’t see how you fix something as deeply sick as this.