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The Year in Race
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Look, it’s no fun being the designated race reporter at Taki’s Mag. When I joined the contributor list I ticked “opera critic” as my preferred slot on the masthead. Then I got into one of those dumb spin-the-bottle games with Jim, Gavin, Kathy, and Mandolyna, lost four times in a row, and ended up assigned to the race beat as well as having to…well, never mind. Here I am, stuck with the darn race thing.

It’s depressing, I know. It depresses me. I am wholly at one with the occasional commenter who emits a sigh of longing to live in an overwhelmingly monoracial society where people talk about things that: (a) shed some positive light on human nature; and (b) are non-career-threatening.

Well, guy—it’s always a guy—there are the Faroe Islands: “The largest group of foreigners is Danes, comprising 5.8%, followed by Greenlanders, Icelanders, Norwegians and Poles.” Note, however, that Yellow Fever seems to be making inroads: “The town of Klaksvik (pop. 4,585) has 15 Asian women.” I’m fine with this, but you may not be.

So I get to report the race-biz highlights for 2013. Dirty work, but someone has to do it. I swear that darn bottle was loaded.

Trend of the year. I’m pretty sure I detected a general rise in the level of hysteria about race, at least in the USA and UK. If you had told me—me!—that the needle on the hysteriometer could attain any higher reading than it registered in 2012, I would have scoffed.

Things just get crazier, though. As our opinion elites take ever more incoming fire from reality’s forward artillery emplacements, they retreat deeper into the race-denial bunker and deal more ferociously with suspected enemy agents. As witness…

Race goat of the year. It’s a crowded field, but Paula Deen gets the trophy. Never was the sheer cruel nastiness of the anti-racist crowd more clearly illustrated than by the spectacle of this silly but harmless old lady being publicly humiliated.

Race crime trend of the year. Walking While Nonblack, AKA the Knockout Game, AKA Polar Bear Hunting (though let’s spare a moment to remember Hoang Nguyen). Whence…

White ethnomasochist of the year. Phoebe Connolly, the Knockout Game victim who told Greta van Susteren:

I have moved past it and I really have no hard feelings about what has happened. I see it as another reason to support our youth with activities and youth programs….

Hit her again!

Anti-white movie of the year. Yet another crowded field. Looks like 12 Years a Slave will earn the most dollars. So far only Steve Sailer, to my knowledge, has re-aired the old suspicion that Solomon Northrup’s adventure was a case of skin game gone wrong, hyped up into a piece of abolitionist porn by an enterprising ghostwriter.


Race math fact of the year. Lame duck New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg pointing out that while nine percent of NYPD stops in 2012 were of whites, only seven percent of the city’s murder suspects were white, ergo city cops were stopping and frisking too many whites.

Bloomie on the anti-racist hand-wringers: “I don’t know where they went to school, but they certainly didn’t take a math course, or a logic course.”

For sure. As I noted at the time, math and logic be racist. Innumeracy is one of the Seven Pillars of Race Denial. “ΑΓΕΩΜΕΤΡΗΤΟΣ ΜΗΔΕΙΣ ΕΙΣΙΤΩ,” said the sign over the door of Plato’s Academy: “Let no-one ignorant of geometry enter.” I don’t know about geometry, but some Bloomie-level awareness of basic arithmetic is a prerequisite for wisdom in the race zone, where “average” is an esoteric concept and the fact that whites and blacks consume roughly equal portions of the welfare budget is considered a devastating rebuttal to remarks about black dependency.

Ghettopotamus of the year. Rachel Jeantel waddles off with this one, to be presented at the Taki’s Mag awards ceremony by 2009 winner Gabourey Sidibe. Nominations for the Chicago lady unfortunately arrived too late for consideration.

(Thanks to commenter “CJ Haze” for the descriptor.)

White liberal Afrogasm of the year. The Mandela funeral, of course. The fun thing here was the way the real Africa, in the person of fake sign-language interpreter Thamsanqa Jantjie, broke through the white liberal fantasy, as it always does.

I once had a white English colleague who’d worked in Nigeria. He told me about WAWA, a demon of malign power who frustrates any kind of high-minded enterprise over there. WAWA stands for “West Africa Wins Again.” In William Boyd’s fine novel (and movie), WAWA manifests as the Yoruba chaos-god Shango. Thamsanqa Jantjie is presumably an incarnation of WAWA’s brother deity SAWA.

Iron rod push-back of the year. There were signs that even as the level of anti-racist hysteria increased, so did the number of citizens who are fed up with the whole stupid business. I mean, literally signs: billboards, banners, and lawn signs. I haven’t seen any news stories about anti-anti-racist skywriting yet, but I live in hope.

Wet noodle push-back of the year. John Fund in some magazine whimpering that while indisputably there is nothing—nothing!—more evil than racism, it might just possibly be the case that Jesse, Oprah, and other Grievance Industry moguls are throwing the tag “white supremacist” around with a smidgen too much abandon, if they please won’t mind his saying so.

If we actually had an honest conversation about race, it would include voices and views that the media now overlook because they don’t fit the storyline.

Uh…honey, where’d you put the screen wipes?

Magic Negro of the year. This position is apparently vacant. With Mandela gone, all the magic should now be concentrated in Barack Obama, yet Obama seems to be a distressed security. True, 16 percent of Americans polled this month named Obama as the man they most admire, but 13 percent of Americans are black, so there’s an arithmetic issue lurking there somewhere (see above).

(Republished from Takimag by permission of author or representative)
• Category: Race/Ethnicity 
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