The Unz Review: An Alternative Media Selection
A Collection of Interesting, Important, and Controversial Perspectives Largely Excluded from the American Mainstream Media
 BlogviewJohn Derbyshire Archive
The Senator from Bray
🔊 Listen RSS
Email This Page to Someone

 Remember My Information



=>

Bookmark Toggle AllToCAdd to LibraryRemove from Library • BShow CommentNext New CommentNext New ReplyRead More
ReplyAgree/Disagree/Etc. More... This Commenter This Thread Hide Thread Display All Comments
AgreeDisagreeThanksLOLTroll
These buttons register your public Agreement, Disagreement, Thanks, LOL, or Troll with the selected comment. They are ONLY available to recent, frequent commenters who have saved their Name+Email using the 'Remember My Information' checkbox, and may also ONLY be used three times during any eight hour period.
Ignore Commenter Follow Commenter
Search Text Case Sensitive  Exact Words  Include Comments
List of Bookmarks

[Note: One of the best-loved old English songs is “The Vicar of Bray,” whose words first showed up in print in the 1730s (though to a tune no longer sung). Bray is a small village near Windsor, in southern England. In the song, the cynical vicar of Bray boasts of how, by “adjusting” his principles, he managed to hold on to his position as vicar through all the politico-religious turmoil of the late 17th and early 18th centuries. You can hear it sung here.]

In Lyndon Johnson’s second term,
When patriotism no harm meant
Some résumé points I had to earn
So off to Vietnam went.
That country did its sights contrive
Onto my heart to sear;
In just four months I’d medals five,
Kick-starting my career.

[Chorus] And this is true, depend on me —
Don’t bother to compete, Sir! —
No matter who the POTUS be
I’ll keep my Senate seat, Sir!

When Richard Nixon came along,
And war was out of fashion,
I testified to grievous wrong,
With most indignant passion.
To medals five goodbye I kissed;
A book (try finding it!) I wrote.
And now would be a pacifist
But for the VFW vote.

[Chorus] And this is true …

While Ford and Carter struggled o’er
Our post-Vietnam confusion,
I kept low profile as a lawyer,
In public prosecution.
For in those times the public mood
Was harsh on politicians.
(While, to relieve my solitude
I sought out girls — just rich ones.)

[Chorus] And this is true …

In Reagan’s time I saw the chance
To further my ambition.
So to the Senate did advance —
A liberal patrician.
My Senatorial chores were few —
No need for much attendance.
Just raise some funds and kiss up to
Joe Kennedy’s descendants!

[Chorus] And this is true …

When George the First came to the fore,
With policies much sounder,
I stood out firm against his war
Believing it would founder.
It didn’t; but his previous vow
All taxes new to spare us
Soon got me off the hook: Who now
Remembers judgment errors?

[Chorus] And this is true …

Then dear Bill Clinton’s fortunes soared
And liberal men were thriving.
I got myself a loaded broad
And lots of cars for driving.
No military issues rose
Past follies to unbury:
What happy, golden days were those
For lefties like John Kerry!

[Chorus] And this is true …

For George the Second’s Iraq War
I voted my approval;
And cheered until my throat was sore
At S. Hussein’s removal.
But liberal friends soon whispered that
A quagmire was a-brewing.
And in the ring I threw my hat,
To seek George Two’s undoing.

[Chorus] And this is true …

ORDER IT NOW

Imagine this: A noble vet —
One with a sharp salute. He
Stands up in wartime to upset
A man who shirked his duty.
Alas, it’s going all awry —
Just look at my position!
The Swifties say my past’s a lie —
And Rather’s blown his mission!

[Chorus] Ah, well. What matters it to me
My buggy’s in the ditch, Sir?
No matter who the POTUS be
I’ll still be stinking rich, Sir!

(Republished from National Review by permission of author or representative)
 
• Tags: Humor 
Current Commenter
says:

Leave a Reply - Comments on articles more than two weeks old will be judged much more strictly on quality and tone


 Remember My InformationWhy?
 Email Replies to my Comment
Submitted comments become the property of The Unz Review and may be republished elsewhere at the sole discretion of the latter
Subscribe to This Comment Thread via RSS Subscribe to All John Derbyshire Comments via RSS