Women's Ice Hockey League to Expand
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From the New York Times:
With Pro Sports Paused, a Women’s Hockey League Expands
The N.W.H.L. announced a new Toronto franchise with all-female leadership.
After all, a women’s professional ice hockey league sounds like the ideal embodiment of the New Normal of spectator sports without spectators, since nothing will change.
There’s a Women’s hockey league?
Didn’t Jack Cooke once give his daughter Jeannie a professional team tennis league so she’d have something to do?
https://nbahoopsonline.com/teams/SacramentoKings/history/RochesterSeagrams/seagrams.jpghttps://nbahoopsonline.com/teams/SacramentoKings/history/RochesterSeagrams/Seagramsball.jpgReplies: @Known Fact
Can’t be any worse than the WNBA…
The WNBA is a spectator draw for lesbians. I've never attended, but friends who have chaperoned school groups so report.
<snort!>
Steve, you need to leave a comment like this on the article! (Or have you been banned? Not many of my comments are showing up these days).
So apparently nobody cares enough about women's hockey to even have opinions.
Not that I really care but with the loss of this year’s “March Madness” and the upcoming college football season looking dubious the ability of the NCAA and universities to underwrite women’s sports programs has to be in serious doubt.
We might expect the NBA and NFL at some point to step in and fund their minor league programs if colleges are forced to drop their programs but there are no deep pocket to fund women’s team sports.
Hey some of those girls can really fly! I mean, not really. The biggest difference between men and women hockey players however is shot power. Men at even the semi pro levels can rip absolute rockets via the graphite sticks they use.
Gordie Howe had to use a straight curved wooden plank, the guys these days flick their wrists and the stick’s flex whips the puck at unimaginable speeds. But without even mediocre malr forearm strength, women can’t replicate the force needed to generate good power.
Some of the upper tier women at the national level really do have top shelf speed, but none have the shots.
If they took all the seats out, due to no spectators, even without the Kung Flu, they could play in a much smaller venue, and save on heating and ice-chilling costs. How about the public libraries? They’re closed to book readers and bums, so …
10-15 years ago there was a chick goaltender trying to make the NHL. She was on some minor league squad, but it sure seemed like she was on it for the spectacle and not because she could actually play.
Growing up, I played with girls on my hockey teams, but that was all when we were under 10 years old. and usually the girls who played were a bit older than the boys on the squad. But by the time we hit 10 years old there were none left on the teams—the natural male physical dominance had edged them out.
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/05/16/09/13565368-7035755-image-a-19_1557996663940.jpg
Just make sure the ice is solid!https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nUdIUUKUZLIReplies: @R.G. Camara, @Coemgen, @Mike
This was 1993, when you had to wait 30 minutes to download a nudie pic off alt.binaries.erotica.
No, I did not spent time doing that with my college roommates.Replies: @vhrm
Must. Always. Root. For. Women.
Didn’t Jack Cooke once give his daughter Jeannie a professional team tennis league so she’d have something to do?Replies: @Achmed E. Newman, @Reg Cæsar, @ScarletNumber
Sounds like a Natural! Women’s ice hockey – kind of like the Roller Derby, right?
I just started watching an anime called “Girls und Panzer” on Hulu. The premise is that sensha-do (fighting in WWII tanks) is an after-school sport practiced exclusively by girls. They do it as they might do flower arranging, calligraphy or tea ceremony to become more ladylike.
In the first episode someone comments on how inappropriate it would be if boys did sensha-do because boys and tanks just don’t go together.
I’m only a few episodes in. So far it’s a little ridiculous, but not terrible. The matches in the show have a lot of fans, but it would probably work better televised anyway so it _could_ work as a Neu World Sport.
Growing up, I played with girls on my hockey teams, but that was all when we were under 10 years old. and usually the girls who played were a bit older than the boys on the squad. But by the time we hit 10 years old there were none left on the teams---the natural male physical dominance had edged them out.Replies: @Reg Cæsar, @Ron Mexico, @Crouchback, @njguy73
With the right dimensions, you don’t have to play well at all.
Just make sure the ice is solid!
But what about the goalies themselves?
The execrable sportsball-suckup, ahem, sports writer, Bill Simmons, actually had a valid question a few years ago: why don't hockey teams just hire a really large, fat guy to sit in goal and block everything by his natural girth + padding?
It's not so far-fetched. For a while, it was a trendy idea in football that ex-sumo wrestlers could be converted into offensive lineman, given their size, relative athleticism ("quick for a big man"), and similarities between sumo's actions (body ramming, hand pushing) and an o-lineman's pass blocking and hole-opening. It was even in the underrated Keanu Reeves football movieThe Replacements.
Why not an ex-sumo as a goalie? Does the NHL place size restrictions on who can play goalie?Replies: @Aeronerauk, @Mike, @newrouter, @Danindc
We might expect the NBA and NFL at some point to step in and fund their minor league programs if colleges are forced to drop their programs but there are no deep pocket to fund women's team sports.Replies: @Barnard, @anon, @Neoconned
The NBA has been funding the WNBA since its inception. ESPN also intentionally overpays for the TV rights in part as a social justice statement and in part to stay in the NBA’s good graces and it still doesn’t make money.
I'm guessing these ice broads will be more the ponytail soccer types, less dykey.
What? No Covid-19 post?
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/05/16/09/13565368-7035755-image-a-19_1557996663940.jpg
Just make sure the ice is solid!https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nUdIUUKUZLIReplies: @R.G. Camara, @Coemgen, @Mike
More seriously, the NHL (and most, if not all leagues) place size restrictions on goaltending equipment, so they just can’t buy super huge pads and block out the goal that way.
But what about the goalies themselves?
The execrable sportsball-suckup, ahem, sports writer, Bill Simmons, actually had a valid question a few years ago: why don’t hockey teams just hire a really large, fat guy to sit in goal and block everything by his natural girth + padding?
It’s not so far-fetched. For a while, it was a trendy idea in football that ex-sumo wrestlers could be converted into offensive lineman, given their size, relative athleticism (“quick for a big man”), and similarities between sumo’s actions (body ramming, hand pushing) and an o-lineman’s pass blocking and hole-opening. It was even in the underrated Keanu Reeves football movieThe Replacements.
Why not an ex-sumo as a goalie? Does the NHL place size restrictions on who can play goalie?
Coach Dwyer- I’m all out of options here fellas, we need to figure out a way to win some games or we’re all going to be out of jobs. If you think I’m going back to working in the Alberta copper mines, think again. I’ll slip on some water at Walmart and sue if I have to. I don’t want to but what other choice do I have?
Terry Flynn- Hey Coach, a guy I grew up with that had some skills at one point. Well, I saw him recently and he really let himself go. I’m talking blew up like the MetLife blimp. Couldn’t we put him in goal?
Coach Dwyer- That is one of this sport’s biggest fallacies. To think you could take a fat slob and put him in goal and he’d be unbeatable. Well, he would still need the cat-like reflexes to catch a 100mph puck coming into the corners.
Terry Flynn- Yeah, but what if he could wedge himself in the goal so there was no room for the puck to enter.
Coach Dwyer- (exasperated) again, it’s an age old myth that a obese goalie could succeed, wait how big is this guy?
Terry Flynn- He’s 1400 pounds and growing
Coach Dwyer- We need to take a look at this guy
If salted with significant numbers of black, brown, lesbian and transsexual players, the politically correct NHL might happily subsidize the new league!
It was a great evening with good food and lots of drink.
At my table were reps from 3 or 4 teams from around the country and one NHL staffer. I wore his ass out about asking when will the NWHL start up just like the WNBA? I was relentless. He was uncomfortable and the others at the table were amused. He did say that the NHL owners really fear being pressed into sponsoring a woman's league analogous to the WNBA just because the NHL is not as rich as other leagues.Replies: @Bugg
Look on the bright side, if they wear the chick hockey helmet with the huge jaw guard, you won’t have to cringe at the ugly melons which will mostly be hidden.
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/05/16/09/13565368-7035755-image-a-19_1557996663940.jpg
Just make sure the ice is solid!https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nUdIUUKUZLIReplies: @R.G. Camara, @Coemgen, @Mike
Unfortunately for her, the good dimensions for an NHL goalie are more like Tuukka Rask’s 6’3″ 176 lbs. frame.
Hearing the guys on WFAN or anywhere else talking seriously about major league sports right now — the NFL draft or whatever — is like having a friend look into your eyes and ask, “She’s coming back to me, right? She’ll get tired of him and she’ll be right back on my doorstep. Right? Right? ”
We might expect the NBA and NFL at some point to step in and fund their minor league programs if colleges are forced to drop their programs but there are no deep pocket to fund women's team sports.Replies: @Barnard, @anon, @Neoconned
Without athletics, a lot of colleges lose their raison d être as they are mostly athletic establishments pretending to be academic institutions. That combined with no more full fee paying foreigners means they will be exposed for what they are – factories for producing useless young people. Market will force a reconciliation of some sort. Their best strategy would be to become good trade schools for B (and even C) students; they should aspire to establish apprentice programs with businesses like in Germany.
Didn’t Jack Cooke once give his daughter Jeannie a professional team tennis league so she’d have something to do?Replies: @Achmed E. Newman, @Reg Cæsar, @ScarletNumber
Cooke was once asked why his Kings couldn’t draw when there were over 800,000 Canadians living in Southern California. He said they were there because they hated hockey.
It is rather curious that teams representing the capital and the largest cities of the California Republic are called “Kings”.
Note that the hoops Kings had had the name Royals for 28 years and were pressured to give it up because the three-year-old baseball Royals claimed dibs on it in Kansas City. The original name was the Seagrams, which they should consider reviving.
“Miss Bancock, the girl’s phys ed coach, has agreed to step in and tell us about her crusade to get women into professional hockey.”
“I do have one announcement to make, the Partridge Family, for technical reasons beyond our control, will not be performing today”
Quotes from the first season of “The Partridge Family”, the episode entitled “”My Son the Feminist”, in which the beloved hit record “I Think I Love You” was introduced in prime time.
(Spoliler – the Partridge Family sang the song, and Miss Bancock did not appear)
https://nbahoopsonline.com/teams/SacramentoKings/history/RochesterSeagrams/seagrams.jpghttps://nbahoopsonline.com/teams/SacramentoKings/history/RochesterSeagrams/Seagramsball.jpgReplies: @Known Fact
KC had the Chiefs, Royals, short-lived Kings (NBA) and the even shorter-lived Scouts in the NHL. The supposedly overarching civic theme was that these were all titles of royalty or high standing. I guess among Native Americans “scout” is a lofty position of honor, but after a couple of seasons they became the Colorado Rockies, and then the NJ Devils. Next stop: the women’s hockey league.
Growing up, I played with girls on my hockey teams, but that was all when we were under 10 years old. and usually the girls who played were a bit older than the boys on the squad. But by the time we hit 10 years old there were none left on the teams---the natural male physical dominance had edged them out.Replies: @Reg Cæsar, @Ron Mexico, @Crouchback, @njguy73
Manon Rheume (spelling? Not bothering to look it up)? That was more than 15 yrs ago, because I recall her hockey trading card, and I haven’t collected since the 90s.
At a meet-the-Blues luncheon in downtown St. Louis later that pre-season, rakish Blues coach and franchise legend Bob Plager described the Brown goal, noting that "five hole" meant between the goalie leg pads. He quickly added: I could never coach a women's hockey team -- I could never bring myself to tell the goalie to keep her legs together.
Ah, 1992.
Is it anything like the Lingerie Football League?
Snark-o-meter just pegged at “Full on/not taking no prisoners.”
But what about the goalies themselves?
The execrable sportsball-suckup, ahem, sports writer, Bill Simmons, actually had a valid question a few years ago: why don't hockey teams just hire a really large, fat guy to sit in goal and block everything by his natural girth + padding?
It's not so far-fetched. For a while, it was a trendy idea in football that ex-sumo wrestlers could be converted into offensive lineman, given their size, relative athleticism ("quick for a big man"), and similarities between sumo's actions (body ramming, hand pushing) and an o-lineman's pass blocking and hole-opening. It was even in the underrated Keanu Reeves football movieThe Replacements.
Why not an ex-sumo as a goalie? Does the NHL place size restrictions on who can play goalie?Replies: @Aeronerauk, @Mike, @newrouter, @Danindc
Hey, I get why you’d ask this. But like Simmons I gather you’ve ever played any puck. The simple answer is that NHL caliber players can place the puck anywhere and at high velocities. So on breakaways or turnovers or any play leading to a situation where the goalie is left alone to fend for himself, the result would almost always be a goal.
There simply isn’t anyone fat enough to take up every inch of the net. And if you could find someone like that, good luck getting them on and off the ice between periods. Additionally, goalies are expected to handle the puck in certain situations like dump ins.
It would be funny to see it tried though. A staunch, defensively minded team that rarely gives the puck away like the trapping 90s New Jersey Devils teams might be able to make it work. I suspect you’re severely underestimating the ability of the morbidly obese to stand up, let alone with vulcanized rubber flying at them. I think more pucks would “squeak” though the fatbody then you’d think too.
All this is moot however as the team opposing the fat guy goalie would just fire 80-110mph shots at their head until they fled in terror or get carted away. Mobility is vital not just for execution of goalie, but also for safety.
https://youtu.be/hHijbIMsYuM
A sumo-type guy---i.e. a husky guy who happens to be agile for his size---isn't crazy. As for the stick handling in the endzone outside the net, its not even close to the equivalent of a position player's stick handling skills. So long as he can whack the puck away and cover it if the other team gets to him first, he would be fine.Replies: @kaganovitch, @Ganderson
They should call a woman’s hockey team The Chupacabras to see if they can draw from Americans ever growing brown populace.
Thanks for posting that because I was doing something very interesting when this Elton John tune came out. So I did my research and it came out 24 February 1975. Philadelphia Freedom. I am non-judgmental on the tune.
After a short pause, he then added: "Thank gawd she didn't play for the Boston Lobsters."
Davey Johnstone - Guitar
Dee Murray - Bass
Nigel Olson - DrumsReplies: @Clyde
OT: You know those videos of homeless people packing the subway? The ones who ride for hours, or even sleep there?
If one of them has Coronavirus, he will be in close contact with far more people than a normal commuter would. Compare a sick person who rides for eight minutes with twenty other people vs a homeless guy who rides all day with, what, thousands? People get on and off, riding with other people at random, but everyone rides with him.
Obviously, getting bums off the trains would have immediate public health benefits. They’re like the little fortresses in the video game Gauntlet that produce the monsters.
But what about the goalies themselves?
The execrable sportsball-suckup, ahem, sports writer, Bill Simmons, actually had a valid question a few years ago: why don't hockey teams just hire a really large, fat guy to sit in goal and block everything by his natural girth + padding?
It's not so far-fetched. For a while, it was a trendy idea in football that ex-sumo wrestlers could be converted into offensive lineman, given their size, relative athleticism ("quick for a big man"), and similarities between sumo's actions (body ramming, hand pushing) and an o-lineman's pass blocking and hole-opening. It was even in the underrated Keanu Reeves football movieThe Replacements.
Why not an ex-sumo as a goalie? Does the NHL place size restrictions on who can play goalie?Replies: @Aeronerauk, @Mike, @newrouter, @Danindc
The NHL goalies have to be able to skate and handle the puck when it comes to their end. If icing is not going to be called, the goalie needs to pass the puck to a defenseman or down the ice to a forward. A big fat pylon such as you suggest would not be able to handle the puck. Top tier offense can pick the corners some fat slob will leave open. They would get their ass kicked at the NHL level. In beer league hockey for old farts like me, it would be a great strategy.
But I do get a kick out of the fact that the emergency third-string catcher on an MLB team is a designee already on the 25-man roster, while the emergency back-up goalie (EBUG) on an NHL team has long been the zamboni driver or a local club-hockey goalie or the like.Replies: @Stephen Dodge
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/05/16/09/13565368-7035755-image-a-19_1557996663940.jpg
Just make sure the ice is solid!https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nUdIUUKUZLIReplies: @R.G. Camara, @Coemgen, @Mike
Reg, I know enough about you to know you are from the Twin Cities, so I’m not surprised you posted the Gear Daddies. A great song.
Those are some nappy headed hoz right there.
I’m guessing these ice broads will be more the ponytail soccer types, less dykey.
https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2492/4042110068_2cbcf88ab5_b.jpgReplies: @fish
Now I’d watch this league!
The NHL held a CFO and financial staff conference recently. I was invited by an acquaintance to the dinner the night the meetings ended.
It was a great evening with good food and lots of drink.
At my table were reps from 3 or 4 teams from around the country and one NHL staffer. I wore his ass out about asking when will the NWHL start up just like the WNBA? I was relentless. He was uncomfortable and the others at the table were amused. He did say that the NHL owners really fear being pressed into sponsoring a woman’s league analogous to the WNBA just because the NHL is not as rich as other leagues.
Have a relative who played D2 college women's hoops; she plays for the other team. Had a girlfriend who declined to play D1 hoops in large part because she plays for the other team. This crisis may force some decisions on the NBA about how much more money they're willing to lose with women's hoops to get Rosie O'Donnell's approval.
Since the end of Michael Jordan's career, have not followed the NBA, except as a business. And as a business, the NBA pays a lot of players nobody would cross the street to watch. Spare the big teams, it plays to many empty arenas, and has a lot of regular season games in which the players don't appear to care about the outcome. Not sure how long term that works.
In the first episode someone comments on how inappropriate it would be if boys did sensha-do because boys and tanks just don't go together.
I'm only a few episodes in. So far it's a little ridiculous, but not terrible. The matches in the show have a lot of fans, but it would probably work better televised anyway so it _could_ work as a Neu World Sport.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAAnUqhKWZIReplies: @kaganovitch, @Johnny Rico
Sounds a lot like Wen Spencer’s “A Brother’s Price”.
Ron Mexico is correct: Manon Rheaume. In a 1992 pre-season game for the then-expansion Tampa Bay Lightning, she played goal for a period against the St. Louis Blues, allowing a goal “five hole” on a slapshot by Blues defenseman Jeff Brown.
At a meet-the-Blues luncheon in downtown St. Louis later that pre-season, rakish Blues coach and franchise legend Bob Plager described the Brown goal, noting that “five hole” meant between the goalie leg pads. He quickly added: I could never coach a women’s hockey team — I could never bring myself to tell the goalie to keep her legs together.
Ah, 1992.
We don’t even have to theorize — we have the GEICO commercial with the giant walrus in goal
Growing up, I played with girls on my hockey teams, but that was all when we were under 10 years old. and usually the girls who played were a bit older than the boys on the squad. But by the time we hit 10 years old there were none left on the teams---the natural male physical dominance had edged them out.Replies: @Reg Cæsar, @Ron Mexico, @Crouchback, @njguy73
Manon Rheaume. As someone pointed out, hockey is already a tough enough sport without having to face a woman for three periods who has only two pads.
Yes, I played hockey for a long time. Hockey goalies are very streaky.While the Roy or the Haseks were long standing, lots of goalies can go from hot to cold. Jon Blue was a nothing goalie who happened to get on a hot streak with a team that got to the cup finals, and then was able to parlay that into some free agency moolah.
A sumo-type guy—i.e. a husky guy who happens to be agile for his size—isn’t crazy. As for the stick handling in the endzone outside the net, its not even close to the equivalent of a position player’s stick handling skills. So long as he can whack the puck away and cover it if the other team gets to him first, he would be fine.
The great Ken Dryden, while not exactly a sumo-type, was usually the biggest guy on the ice when he played.
No, they do not have to be able to play the puck. They need to allow fewer goals than the other guy. Playing the puck can help with that, but there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
Solid comment; I concur.
But I do get a kick out of the fact that the emergency third-string catcher on an MLB team is a designee already on the 25-man roster, while the emergency back-up goalie (EBUG) on an NHL team has long been the zamboni driver or a local club-hockey goalie or the like.
You’re over-estimating goalie skating and stick-control ability, likely due to some modern goalies being much more “out of the net’ and proactive with their sticks; but that’s merely style, not a necessity. The necessity is stopping shots.
And I’m talking about a guy who has some athletic ability at his size—picture a George Scott or Chris Farley or Fatty Arbuckle type guy, with surprising agility and cat-like quickness over a short burst.
Such a dude could get from the net to the corner in an icing situation before the other team could get there. That’s not a huge distance, and if the guy already knows how to skate, he’s got it.
I don't think a plain old fat guy would work at all, as the advantages in surface area coverage would be offset by the disadvantages. Namely conditioning, durability, and quickness.
I've been on the ice with Jack Eichel of the Buffalo Sabres (relax, at a charity tournament.) While his physical gifts are apparent, its his and other pro caliber players' deceptiveness that really throws off a guy like me. I wasnt THAT much slower, but I had no idea what he was doing or where he was going.
Hampering a guy's quickness by giving him a sizable amount of fat just to cover a few more square inches of the the net just doesn't seem worth it.Replies: @Ganderson
I remember Elton telling an interviewer that he had written the song for his buddy Billie Jean King, whose club in World Team Tennis was the Philadelphia Freedom.
After a short pause, he then added: “Thank gawd she didn’t play for the Boston Lobsters.”
Yeah, the puck-playing ability is overrated, and a modern stylistic change over the past few decades, not a necessity, at least not to the extent modern goalies do it.
National Women’s Hockey League?
Sounds kinda sexist to me… I thought gender is merely a “social construct.”
Maybe women should just try out for NHL teams… it’d be particularly interesting to see how they do when it’s time to drop the gloves and duke it out.
I’d pay good money to see an NHL defencemen punch a chick in the face at centre ice… Gary Bettman, are you listening?
Growing up, I played with girls on my hockey teams, but that was all when we were under 10 years old. and usually the girls who played were a bit older than the boys on the squad. But by the time we hit 10 years old there were none left on the teams---the natural male physical dominance had edged them out.Replies: @Reg Cæsar, @Ron Mexico, @Crouchback, @njguy73
She turned down $75,000 to pose nude for Playboy.
This was 1993, when you had to wait 30 minutes to download a nudie pic off alt.binaries.erotica.
No, I did not spent time doing that with my college roommates.
a.b.p.e wasn't it?
But I do get a kick out of the fact that the emergency third-string catcher on an MLB team is a designee already on the 25-man roster, while the emergency back-up goalie (EBUG) on an NHL team has long been the zamboni driver or a local club-hockey goalie or the like.Replies: @Stephen Dodge
Mets fans think of George Theodore or Jeff Inness when they read that (back in the 70s, the Mets hired some local talent to get more fans to come to the stadium – I might have the names wrong, but it was a real thing, the Mets would put double-AA players with local connections on the field)
But what about the goalies themselves?
The execrable sportsball-suckup, ahem, sports writer, Bill Simmons, actually had a valid question a few years ago: why don't hockey teams just hire a really large, fat guy to sit in goal and block everything by his natural girth + padding?
It's not so far-fetched. For a while, it was a trendy idea in football that ex-sumo wrestlers could be converted into offensive lineman, given their size, relative athleticism ("quick for a big man"), and similarities between sumo's actions (body ramming, hand pushing) and an o-lineman's pass blocking and hole-opening. It was even in the underrated Keanu Reeves football movieThe Replacements.
Why not an ex-sumo as a goalie? Does the NHL place size restrictions on who can play goalie?Replies: @Aeronerauk, @Mike, @newrouter, @Danindc
The problem with fat goalies is physics: fattie go one way still going one way when things change.
Who needs women’s hockey when there is roller derby?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws__KmKYc9IReplies: @JimDandy, @Forbes
The WNBA is some kind of vanity project funded by the NBA to appease… who? Is there some kind of Operation Rainbow type of extortion going on with this shit? How did the NBA pay off powerful feminists with this? Did they hire leaders of feminist organizations as executive consultants?
But what about the goalies themselves?
The execrable sportsball-suckup, ahem, sports writer, Bill Simmons, actually had a valid question a few years ago: why don't hockey teams just hire a really large, fat guy to sit in goal and block everything by his natural girth + padding?
It's not so far-fetched. For a while, it was a trendy idea in football that ex-sumo wrestlers could be converted into offensive lineman, given their size, relative athleticism ("quick for a big man"), and similarities between sumo's actions (body ramming, hand pushing) and an o-lineman's pass blocking and hole-opening. It was even in the underrated Keanu Reeves football movieThe Replacements.
Why not an ex-sumo as a goalie? Does the NHL place size restrictions on who can play goalie?Replies: @Aeronerauk, @Mike, @newrouter, @Danindc
I had that idea 20 years ago and wrote a screenplay. It was called Fat Goalie. It was never finished.
Here’s a scene:
Fat Goalie Fallacy:
Coach Dwyer- I’m all out of options here fellas, we need to figure out a way to win some games or we’re all going to be out of jobs. If you think I’m going back to working in the Alberta copper mines, think again. I’ll slip on some water at Walmart and sue if I have to. I don’t want to but what other choice do I have?
Terry Flynn- Hey Coach, a guy I grew up with that had some skills at one point. Well, I saw him recently and he really let himself go. I’m talking blew up like the MetLife blimp. Couldn’t we put him in goal?
Coach Dwyer- That is one of this sport’s biggest fallacies. To think you could take a fat slob and put him in goal and he’d be unbeatable. Well, he would still need the cat-like reflexes to catch a 100mph puck coming into the corners.
Terry Flynn- Yeah, but what if he could wedge himself in the goal so there was no room for the puck to enter.
Coach Dwyer- (exasperated) again, it’s an age old myth that a obese goalie could succeed, wait how big is this guy?
Terry Flynn- He’s 1400 pounds and growing
Coach Dwyer- We need to take a look at this guy
This might be a bit off-topic, but women’s ice hockey, which doesn’t allow body checking, has as a rate of concussions as college football players
Sounds kinda sexist to me... I thought gender is merely a "social construct."
Maybe women should just try out for NHL teams... it'd be particularly interesting to see how they do when it's time to drop the gloves and duke it out.
I'd pay good money to see an NHL defencemen punch a chick in the face at centre ice... Gary Bettman, are you listening?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM6_oVoYFjwReplies: @Known Fact
A female hockey player wouldn’t drop the gloves, she’d just say “We need to talk,” or “You’re being stubborn.”
A sumo-type guy---i.e. a husky guy who happens to be agile for his size---isn't crazy. As for the stick handling in the endzone outside the net, its not even close to the equivalent of a position player's stick handling skills. So long as he can whack the puck away and cover it if the other team gets to him first, he would be fine.Replies: @kaganovitch, @Ganderson
A sumo-type guy—i.e. a husky guy who happens to be agile for his size—isn’t crazy.
The great Ken Dryden, while not exactly a sumo-type, was usually the biggest guy on the ice when he played.
Gordie Howe had to use a straight curved wooden plank, the guys these days flick their wrists and the stick's flex whips the puck at unimaginable speeds. But without even mediocre malr forearm strength, women can't replicate the force needed to generate good power.
Some of the upper tier women at the national level really do have top shelf speed, but none have the shots.Replies: @Anon7, @Marty T
Pardon me while I laugh my ass off. You don’t have a clue about NHL players.
There was this one guy on my high school hockey team who eventually chose the NHL over the NFL. I recall one game he played in when he was a senior in high school. Both teams eventually played in that year’s state tournament.
He scored five goals in that game. It wasn’t even close. You don’t have clue what 99.999th percentile male athletic ability looks like until you see that guy play a bunch of merely 95-99th percentile guys.
Women in the NHL would be a laughingstock right up to the moment when they died in some sort of collision with an average NHL player.
Who's the guy you played with? How could he have chosen the NHL over the NFL? Did he play college football and junior or college hockey? Unlikely, you're saying he was a great football player who chose to concentrate on hockey after high school. Tom Glavine, drafted by both the Atlanta Braves and the Los Angeles Kings, chose MLB over the NHL.
What you're describing with your high school hero is a choice many great athletes are forced to make. I dunno, there's a guy in this comment section trying to put Chris Farley in an NHL net and my acknowledgment that some ladies are fast is what made you scoff? Did you play on the team or were you the coach's son who filled the water bottles?
A woman beat several NHL all stars in a race at the All Star skills event last year. Now, could she play with them? No, and no one who's played or watched hockey for any amount of time would suggest that seriously.
You’re severely overrating the athleticism of those dudes, not to mention the fact that Farley and Arbuckle would be almost a half a foot shorter than the average NHL goalie. Actually, a lot of goalies from the old days were as you describe: dumpy but athletic. Maybe not as girthy as an Arbuckle, but a Gerry Cheevers had a bit of a beer gut and he was pretty good.
I don’t think a plain old fat guy would work at all, as the advantages in surface area coverage would be offset by the disadvantages. Namely conditioning, durability, and quickness.
I’ve been on the ice with Jack Eichel of the Buffalo Sabres (relax, at a charity tournament.) While his physical gifts are apparent, its his and other pro caliber players’ deceptiveness that really throws off a guy like me. I wasnt THAT much slower, but I had no idea what he was doing or where he was going.
Hampering a guy’s quickness by giving him a sizable amount of fat just to cover a few more square inches of the the net just doesn’t seem worth it.
One guy who is part of our regular Wednesday night crew played at Yale and then had more than a cup of coffee but less than a full meal with the Kings- and while not Jack Eichel, he is indeed a cut above!
This was 1993, when you had to wait 30 minutes to download a nudie pic off alt.binaries.erotica.
No, I did not spent time doing that with my college roommates.Replies: @vhrm
_cough_
a.b.p.e wasn’t it?
actually, male athletic ability is fairly closely grouped, the people who say it isn’t are mostly fanboys
remember, every male with testosterone is descended from millions of males with testosterone and they were all trying to win
do the math, fanboy
contemporary society sets up the people who spend their lives developing talent in a very specific arena as phony heroes because there are so many fanboys
fanboys don’t get that
trust me, if it were really important to have a great slap shot, or to shoot “for three”, you would have no way of keeping track of all the guys who could do it
but you do not really understand real talent, do you?
read a little military history and get back
Oh shut up, I never suggested women could play with men. I just pointed out that shooting is the most obvious difference.
Who’s the guy you played with? How could he have chosen the NHL over the NFL? Did he play college football and junior or college hockey? Unlikely, you’re saying he was a great football player who chose to concentrate on hockey after high school. Tom Glavine, drafted by both the Atlanta Braves and the Los Angeles Kings, chose MLB over the NHL.
What you’re describing with your high school hero is a choice many great athletes are forced to make. I dunno, there’s a guy in this comment section trying to put Chris Farley in an NHL net and my acknowledgment that some ladies are fast is what made you scoff? Did you play on the team or were you the coach’s son who filled the water bottles?
A woman beat several NHL all stars in a race at the All Star skills event last year. Now, could she play with them? No, and no one who’s played or watched hockey for any amount of time would suggest that seriously.
Clearly should be…
“All this is moot however as the team opposing the fat guy goalie would just fire 80-110mph shots at HIS head until HE fled in terror or get carted away.”
So how cowed are you? This is both disgraceful and sad. You have been nagged and corrected and surveilled to the point that now you won’t use masculine pronouns and adjectives even where they are explicitly required.
How deeply, deeply afraid are you of offending your masters? Do you feel them watching you now? Do you flinch when a woman lifts her hand because you think she might hit you?
Do you miss having balls? Do you think they will ever grow back?
Martin Zellar spends these days in northern Mexico, like Jesse Ventura. Don’t know if he knows Fred Reed.
This will devolve into a lesbians versus trannies thing.
https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7abu6MhmCNxqUT4I/giphy.gif
Almost any Elton John song from that era was great, Clyde. Though Bernie Taupin wrote some very good ones, lyrics don’t really mean squat compared to a good melody and a good sound. Elton had a real rock band too:
Davey Johnstone – Guitar
Dee Murray – Bass
Nigel Olson – Drums
Dee Murray – Bass (deceased)
Nigel Olson – DrumsI must salute Elton for keeping his backing band pretty sparse. This is who he tours with. Of course for records he must have add ons such as brass, strings and orchestra. To sweeten it up. In fact he likes to do solo gigs at one million per. He played at Rush Limbaugh's wedding maybe 8 years ago. Solo.Elton John had a winning streak back then between touring and records. So hearing his Philadelphia Freedom. Knowing the date it came out is a good place marker as to what I was up to then. Because it had just been released.Replies: @Achmed E. Newman
Not only would “big fat goalie” be a good pick-up league strategy, I’ve seen it done, more or less. I still couldn’t score.
As for pro women’s hockey, since pro men’s hockey is a distant fourth on the sportsball food chain, (why hockey is less popular than basketball remains a great mystery to me.) the likelihood of a women’s pro league being successful is pretty small. In addition to shooting, mentioned above, women are nowhere near as fast as the boys , although the game can be enjoyed on its own terms. We have a good D III womens’ team in town- I catch multiple games a year- its fun. It’s also free… The Olympics, even though it’s a 2 1/2 team tournament is entertaining, too. I also get the sense women’s hockey is less lesbionic than, say the WNBA.
My favorite retort from the SJWs when I say the women aren’t as good is “oh yeah? They’re better than you are” Wow! There’s a standard! I could imagine an NHL scout’s notebook: “ good forward speed, good lateral movement heavy shot, better than Ganderson”
A sumo-type guy---i.e. a husky guy who happens to be agile for his size---isn't crazy. As for the stick handling in the endzone outside the net, its not even close to the equivalent of a position player's stick handling skills. So long as he can whack the puck away and cover it if the other team gets to him first, he would be fine.Replies: @kaganovitch, @Ganderson
That’s “former Gopher great John Blue” if you please.
I don't think a plain old fat guy would work at all, as the advantages in surface area coverage would be offset by the disadvantages. Namely conditioning, durability, and quickness.
I've been on the ice with Jack Eichel of the Buffalo Sabres (relax, at a charity tournament.) While his physical gifts are apparent, its his and other pro caliber players' deceptiveness that really throws off a guy like me. I wasnt THAT much slower, but I had no idea what he was doing or where he was going.
Hampering a guy's quickness by giving him a sizable amount of fat just to cover a few more square inches of the the net just doesn't seem worth it.Replies: @Ganderson
You’re correct. I’ve played with a bunch of high end college and pro players over the years (no conclusions about my ability should be drawn from that statement- I wasn’t good enough to play on my high school team) and the difference is immediately obvious.
One guy who is part of our regular Wednesday night crew played at Yale and then had more than a cup of coffee but less than a full meal with the Kings- and while not Jack Eichel, he is indeed a cut above!
A man needs a woman’s hockey league like a fish needs a snowmobile.
Yeah thats my bad. I assure you I have not been cowed into using gender neutral language though. I’m just not a very good writer.
I appreciate that you pointed this out to me.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bd/2e/a8/bd2ea895492da9e849300f398431d1ce.gifReplies: @mmack
As posted in a thread last summer, the Lovely Mrs. and I met a few Roller Derby Girlz at a brewery after one of their matches.
Let’s just say the reality fell short of the ideal in terms of femininity.
It was a great evening with good food and lots of drink.
At my table were reps from 3 or 4 teams from around the country and one NHL staffer. I wore his ass out about asking when will the NWHL start up just like the WNBA? I was relentless. He was uncomfortable and the others at the table were amused. He did say that the NHL owners really fear being pressed into sponsoring a woman's league analogous to the WNBA just because the NHL is not as rich as other leagues.Replies: @Bugg
The WNBA is a loss non leader.The NBA keeps it in business because it covers a PC flank. They also stick ESPN with a TV contract to show it during the summer when their arenas are dark and spare baseball there isn’t a lot of live sports on anyway.
Have a relative who played D2 college women’s hoops; she plays for the other team. Had a girlfriend who declined to play D1 hoops in large part because she plays for the other team. This crisis may force some decisions on the NBA about how much more money they’re willing to lose with women’s hoops to get Rosie O’Donnell’s approval.
Since the end of Michael Jordan’s career, have not followed the NBA, except as a business. And as a business, the NBA pays a lot of players nobody would cross the street to watch. Spare the big teams, it plays to many empty arenas, and has a lot of regular season games in which the players don’t appear to care about the outcome. Not sure how long term that works.
This is fun. The comments section is beginning to resemble a hockey brawl (or at least a drunken brawl in the stands)…
In the first episode someone comments on how inappropriate it would be if boys did sensha-do because boys and tanks just don't go together.
I'm only a few episodes in. So far it's a little ridiculous, but not terrible. The matches in the show have a lot of fans, but it would probably work better televised anyway so it _could_ work as a Neu World Sport.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAAnUqhKWZIReplies: @kaganovitch, @Johnny Rico
Outstanding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws__KmKYc9IReplies: @JimDandy, @Forbes
Women’s ice hockey will have even less appeal than the WNBA, which has all the appeal and talent of high school boys basketball, where attendance is primarily limited to team members’ families and classmates.
The WNBA is a spectator draw for lesbians. I’ve never attended, but friends who have chaperoned school groups so report.
This will devolve into a lesbians versus trannies thing.
Steve, you need to leave a comment like this on the article! (Or have you been banned? Not many of my comments are showing up these days).Replies: @jb
Well the Times article currently has three comments. The top one. which essentially paraphrases Steve, has four recommendations (two of them mine), while the other two have none.
So apparently nobody cares enough about women’s hockey to even have opinions.
Didn’t Jack Cooke once give his daughter Jeannie a professional team tennis league so she’d have something to do?Replies: @Achmed E. Newman, @Reg Cæsar, @ScarletNumber
This doesn’t sound right. Are you thinking of Dr. Jerry Buss?
Ironically, those Devils had the greatest goalie of all time who was a great stick handler.
Must be Jeannie Buss, I checked Kent Cooke’s bio and he fathered a daughter that he had wanted aborted and didn’t have any relationship with after her mother decided to go to term.
As for Jeanie, she appeared in Playboy in 1995 when she was 33. It was impressive.
Right, and that was well after Team Tennis. Meanwhile Jeanie Buss currently runs the Lakers. I’m sure that’s who Alfa158 meant. I’m sure the confusion came from the fact that Dr. Buss bought the Lakers and Kings from Cooke in 1979.
As for Jeanie, she appeared in Playboy in 1995 when she was 33. It was impressive.
Gordie Howe had to use a straight curved wooden plank, the guys these days flick their wrists and the stick's flex whips the puck at unimaginable speeds. But without even mediocre malr forearm strength, women can't replicate the force needed to generate good power.
Some of the upper tier women at the national level really do have top shelf speed, but none have the shots.Replies: @Anon7, @Marty T
You’re analyzing this too much. Women’s sports are only watchable if the women are attractive and wearing skimpy outfits. The only exception is for rare patriotic events like the Olympics.
Davey Johnstone - Guitar
Dee Murray - Bass
Nigel Olson - DrumsReplies: @Clyde
Davey Johnstone – Guitar
Dee Murray – Bass (deceased)
Nigel Olson – Drums
I must salute Elton for keeping his backing band pretty sparse. This is who he tours with. Of course for records he must have add ons such as brass, strings and orchestra. To sweeten it up. In fact he likes to do solo gigs at one million per. He played at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding maybe 8 years ago. Solo.
Elton John had a winning streak back then between touring and records. So hearing his Philadelphia Freedom. Knowing the date it came out is a good place marker as to what I was up to then. Because it had just been released.
Haha, OK, yeah, thank you for the reply, Clyde. I had no idea that this same band stuck with Elton John (or vice versa) for so long!
Dee Murray – Bass (deceased)
Nigel Olson – DrumsI must salute Elton for keeping his backing band pretty sparse. This is who he tours with. Of course for records he must have add ons such as brass, strings and orchestra. To sweeten it up. In fact he likes to do solo gigs at one million per. He played at Rush Limbaugh's wedding maybe 8 years ago. Solo.Elton John had a winning streak back then between touring and records. So hearing his Philadelphia Freedom. Knowing the date it came out is a good place marker as to what I was up to then. Because it had just been released.Replies: @Achmed E. Newman
What?! He brings dead Dee Murray on tour with him?
Haha, OK, yeah, thank you for the reply, Clyde. I had no idea that this same band stuck with Elton John (or vice versa) for so long!
Yeah they are all still with Elton John after 40 or so years, except for the deceased dude…..
We might expect the NBA and NFL at some point to step in and fund their minor league programs if colleges are forced to drop their programs but there are no deep pocket to fund women's team sports.Replies: @Barnard, @anon, @Neoconned
I never understood or cared much for the fact the taxpayer basically subsidizes the big sports leagues and their training programs….