Apprised that pro-abortion activists are now turning against the phrase “a woman’s right to choose” as transphobic for implying that only women can have abortions, commenter David calls our attention to this meeting of the People’s Front of Judea:
JUDITH [Sue Jones-Davies]: I do feel, Reg, that any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
REG [John Cleese]: Agreed. Francis?
FRANCIS [Michael Palin]: Yeah. I think Judith’s point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man–
STAN [Eric Idle]: Or woman.
FRANCIS [Palin]: Or woman… to rid himself–
STAN [Idle]: Or herself.
FRANCIS [Palin]: Or herself.
REG [Cleese]: Agreed.
FRANCIS [Palin]: Thank you, brother.
STAN [Idle]: Or sister.
FRANCIS [Palin]: Or sister. Where was I?
REG [Cleese]: I think you’d finished.
FRANCIS: Oh. Right.
REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man–
STAN: Or woman.
REG [Cleese, sounding like Basil Fawlty]: Why don’t you shut up about women, Stan? You’re putting us off.
STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN: I want to be one.
STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me ‘Loretta’.
LORETTA: It’s my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies.
REG: You want to have babies?!
LORETTA: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But … you can’t have babies.
LORETTA: Don’t you oppress me.
REG: I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!
JUDITH: Here! I– I’ve got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’, but that he can have the right to have babies.
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What’s the point?
REG: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can’t have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.