I saw the last half hour of Rogue One, a new prequel to the original 1977 Star Wars movie. The part I watched is basically a 1942 WWII movie. If you’ve always wanted to see the Battles of Midway, Guadalcanal, and Stalingrad going on simultaneously, now you can.
The thing to keep in mind about Star Wars movies is that they are WWII being re-enacted by eight year old boys playing in their backyard. For example, the bad guys shoot at you with rayguns, but the rays only travel about as fast as a dodgeball, so you can jump out of the way if you are nimble enough. And the bad guys wear armor, but it’s completely useless. This kind of thing can be irritating, but if you assume you are little George Lucas in Modesto and you just got home from a triple feature of The Sands of Iwo Jima, The War of the Worlds, and The Bridges at Toko-Ri where you ate four boxes of Milk-Duds, it all makes sense.
Rogue One resembles one of those International Action Blockbusters that megalomaniacal Italian producers used to put together in 1960s and 1970s with an all-star cast of the leading lights of America, Europe, and Toshiro Mifune. Although it seemed like the Star Wars producers were kind of skimping on the movie star part of the budget by the time I snuck in the theater. The only actors who seemed vaguely familiar to me were Ip Man and the guy who is the Mexican Ben Affleck to Gael Garcia Bernal’s Mexican Matt Damon.
“Sing” is an animated musical that’s American Idol with Animals, kind of like The Secret Lives of Pets was Toy Story with Animals.
Kids like animals.
For example, Seth MacFarlane Sinatraesquely voices Mike the Mouse who is more rat than pack.
Porcupines portray a boy-girl punk band modeled on X.
Our culture is going through a Gorilla Moment, so the best characters are the Cockney-accented family of bankrobbing apes out of a Guy Ritchie movie, with Taron Egerton of Ritchie’s associate Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman:
In contrast to the silverback who is shocked that his son wants to be a singer instead of a felon, Joe Strummer was sorry his daddy wasn’t a bankrobber and didn’t have a Cockney accent. There should be a Joe Strummer character in Sing 2, but what kind of animal?