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Roanoke Times: Frat Boy Sues for Being Expelled from Washington & Lee in Wake of JackieGate
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Washington & Lee is a private college in Virginia that Robert E. Lee headed for the last years of his life. Although Sabrina Rubin Erdely was viscerally repulsed by the conservatism, broken glass, and overwhelming blondness she sensed lurking at the University of Virginia, I suspect that if Sabrina had visited Washington & Lee she would have spontaneously combusted out of fear and loathing.

But, no matter, with the Obama Administration threatening to cut off all federal funding to colleges that don’t bend to its will, Erdelyism is in the ascent everywhere, even at Washington & Lee. From the student newspaper at Washington & Lee, the curiously named Ring-Tum-Phi:

UVA story sends shock waves through more than one campus
Students and administrators must work together to promote conversation and stop sexual assualt

An article recently published in Rolling Stone revealed a gang rape at a fraternity house at the University of Virginia.

Margaret Voelzke
December 10, 2014

It has been three weeks since Rolling Stone released “A Rape on Campus,” and Sabrina Rubin Erdely’s article is still making headlines and running rampant on social media.

Although the article, which told the story of the brutal, violent gang rape of a woman nicknamed “Jackie” at a University of Virginia fraternity house, has since had its veracity called into question, students at Washington and Lee University agree it has done something remarkable on campus—started a conversation.

“[These articles] give people leverage and inspire people to start talking,” said senior Anna Kathryn Barnes.

On a campus with statistics saying one in four women is sexually assaulted before graduating, talking about assault is surprisingly difficult.

“I think it goes down to the way we talk about sex,” said senior Annie Persons. “People don’t know what rape is… [And] there are probably women on this campus who have been raped and don’t even know it.”

When asked in a round-table interview whether or not students at Washington and Lee understand the severity of the university’s sexual assault problem, all four students agreed that the student body does not necessarily understand what is happening behind closed doors, and that continuing dialogue sparked by the Rolling Stone article is going to be integral to fixing the problem.

“It is really tempting to read the first part of the [Rolling Stone] article and say ‘that was a really extreme example and she was gang raped by seven men, but that doesn’t happen here so we don’t have to worry about it,’” said junior Kelly Douma. “But I think it’s something we need to keep talking about here and keep pushing and acknowledge the spectrum of it. It’s not just the super brutal, violent things that make the news… it’s also the micro-agressions in talking about rape.”

Those micro-agressions are something that the administration at Washington and Lee is aware of. …

According to Title IX Coordinator Lauren Kozak, Washington and Lee students who have been victims of sexual assault or misconduct have two options.

“When a report comes in there are two paths that we can take… [A] remedies based resolution or a more disciplinary approach,” she said. “[A] remedies-based would be anything that can help remedy the effects without doing discipline against the respondent… that can include anything from change in housing, some academic accommodations, perhaps even a no-contact directive between the parties.”

If students choose to take a disciplinary approach, Kozak and Dean of Students and First-Year Experience Jason Rodocker launch an official investigation into the victim’s claims.

From there, Kozak and Rodocker assemble a report that goes to the chair of the Student-Faculty Hearing board, who make the determination of whether or not to issue a charge against the accused.

“If a charge is issued, then a Student-Faculty Hearing Board panel will be convened,” Kozak explained. “They will read the investigative report and that will serve as the main evidence in the case, and then they can ask follow-up questions to the parties. And then they make a decision by the preponderance of the evidence whether they found that the policy was violated. If they find that the policy was violated, they will determine a sanction. If it’s a nonconsensual sexual intercourse case, the sanction is dismissal; it’s a mandatory sanction for that.”

For charges other than nonconsensual intercourse, “there is a range of sanctions the [Student-Faculty Hearing Board] can choose from,” Kozak said.

Although the process of reporting might seem simple, Barnes and Persons agreed that students choosing to report may face fears of ostracization and social fallout similar to Erdely’s account of “Jackie” in “A Rape on Campus.”

“I think people are rightly concerned that if they go through the procedure, people will find out and they will be ostracized. Particularly first-year women… I think that they wouldn’t necessarily want to hurt their chances of making friends, or getting a bid from a sorority or be that girl who reported,” said Persons.

Barnes noted that students can make small changes, like the language used to discuss sanctions for sexual assault, to counter fears of ostracization.

“Oftentimes the language we used [after someone has been dismissed from the university for sexual assault] is that the victim, he or she, got the accused, he or she, kicked out,” Barnes said. “That is unacceptable. The accused got themselves kicked out for their own actions, and I think those are the little things that we don’t think about.”

A male student who got himself kicked out of Washington & Lee on November 21, 2014, two days after Rolling Stone posted Erdely’s hoax story about UVA, has now filed suit against Washington & Lee for kicking him out. From the Roanoke Times:

Student claims he was expelled from W&L for consensual sex

by Luanne Rife [email protected]

Posted: Tuesday, December 16, 2014 9:15 pm

A day after Rolling Stone published an article describing a brutal gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity house, a former Washington and Lee student claims he was expelled for having consensual sex with another student who eight months later regretted the encounter and claimed rape.

The former W&L student has filed a federal lawsuit claiming the private Lexington university discriminated against him because he is a male, and because it wanted to avoid the negative public scrutiny that UVa was experiencing. Moreover, the student, identified as John Doe in the lawsuit, contends W&L’s Title IX officer advocates to female students that “regret equals rape.”

… W&L spokesman Brian Eckert said, “We don’t feel it is appropriate to discuss the specifics of a legal proceeding, but we’re confident that we correctly follow our established university policies and procedures, as well as federal mandates.”

That’s the scary thing, isn’t it? As they say in Washington, personnel equals policy, and six years of the Obama Administration choosing the personnel has had an effect.

John Doe claims that twice, he had consensual sex with a student identified in the lawsuit as Jane Doe. The first encounter occurred in his room at the Pi Kappa Phi fraternity house where they went after an off-campus party on Feb. 8. Both had been drinking, he said.

Lots of salacious details ensue which you can look up for yourself, either in the news story or in the court filing. Keep in mind that we don’t have anybody else’s side of the story. The college inquiry was done in star chamber with no public records.

… He claims she spent the night, that he contacted her later through Facebook and that they had sex again in early March. He said she told her friends she had a good time. But at a Pi Kappa Phi St. Patrick’s Day party a few weeks later, Jane Doe left when she saw him kissing another woman, who is now his girlfriend.

Not Andrea Dworkin

It wasn’t until July that Jane Doe told a friend that she was sexually assaulted, the lawsuit claims. Then in October, Jane Doe, as a member of a student organization against sexual assault called SPEAK, attended a presentation by W&L Title IX officer Lauren Kozak.

I realize this is off-topic, but Ms. Kozak has the most distractingly blue eyes. Part of the genius of what the Obama Administration has been up to is converting the promotion of Rape Culture hysteria from the demented obsession of Andrea Dworkin-style she-beasts into a sensible professional career path for tasteful-string-of-pearls young ladies like Ms. Kozak. The Rockbridge Report noted on December 11:

W&L Title IX Coordinator Lauren Kozak agrees that the issue is nothing new. She attributes the news attention to the Obama administration which has made reducing campus sexual assaults a priority.

“The re-focusing and changing of some of the laws on how schools need to respond to misconduct, I think, also started a public discussion on the issue, and I think that’s continued,” Kozak said. “It’s just more light on an issue that’s been around for a while.

Kozak was hired this past summer to make sure W&L is complying with all federal guidelines for Title IX. … Kozak points to two main documents that focus on sexual violence: The April 2011 “Dear Colleague” letter and the subsequent Q and A clarifications.

In addition to the new Title IX guidance, changes to a federal law called The Clery Act were adopted this year to account for sexual misconduct offenses. The Clery Act now overlaps with Title IX in some ways and Kozak works with W&L Director of Public Safety Ethan Kipnes to put together the report.

Back to the Roanoke newspaper:

According to the lawsuit, Kozak shared an article, “Is it possible that there is something in between consensual sex and rape … and that it happens to almost every girl out there?”

Here’s the article recommend by Title IX coordinator Kozak. It’s on Total Sorority Move by HotPieceOfTSM:

Is it Possible That There Is Something In Between Consensual Sex And Rape…And That It Happens To Almost Every Girl Out There?

by hot piece of TSM

He wasn’t traditionally good-looking, but he was a notorious charmer with some serious bad boy in him that made him weirdly hot in a not-hot way. Even though we’d been strictly platonic since we met, I always felt a twinge of secret excitement when I had his attention, so when I found myself having a heart-to-heart with him in his bedroom, I felt a weird combination of emotions. Part of me felt as if I was 15 again. I was excited and nervous to be there. I was hyper aware of my body, and of his, wondering, maybe even hoping, he’d kiss me. Another part of me felt that this was wrong. Not in an “it’s wrong, but it’s hot and scandalous and I still want to do it” way–wrong as in not right, wrong as in uncomfortable. This was not a guy I wanted to get involved with. This was a guy who’d had anonymous girl after anonymous girl in and out of his bedroom since we were in the dorms. This was a guy with whom I’d had countless conversations about his inability to care about women, romantically.

So then they had sex. Why did she have sex with the sexy bad boy? Not surprisingly, Hot Piece of TSM has a lot to say on the subject, although it’s not particularly definitive:

Maybe I didn’t want to feel like I’d led him on. Maybe I didn’t want to disappoint him. Maybe I just didn’t want to deal with the “let’s do it, but no, we shouldn’t” verbal tug-of-war that so often happens before sleeping with someone. It was easier to just do it. Besides, we were already in bed, and this is what people in bed do. I felt an obligation, a duty to go through with it. I felt guilty for not wanting to. I wasn’t a virgin. I’d done this before. It shouldn’t have been a big deal–it’s just sex–so I didn’t want to make it one. …

We have inherited a masculine legal culture that is traditionally oriented toward coming to some kind of decision, such as guilty or not guilty. It’s in conflict with our current feminine therapeutic culture that is oriented toward talking for the sake of talking.

I certainly didn’t feel like I’d been raped. But what had happened the night prior was not consensual sex, and I didn’t like it. I wanted the flirting. I wanted the kissing. I wanted the sleepover.

Sleepover? I get the impression that this is a Thing these days. Back in the 20th Century, “sleep together” was a euphemism for sexual intercourse, but now it appears to be something that girls expect to do with boys without sex. Or something. Or at least if sex happens she gets to decide later whether she wanted to or not. The young female mind seems more adept at projecting backwards than forwards in time.

This sleepover thing sounds like the weird old custom of “bundling,” which had died out by the 20th Century everywhere except among the Amish. From Wikipedia:

… it is understood the practice involved each of the young persons being put into a sack, or bag, which was tied closed at their neck. They were then allowed to sleep together, each in their own sack. They could cuddle one another, but that was as far as they could go.

Other bundling customs involved a board down the middle of the bed.

Maybe this is not a terrible idea? The Amish aren’t educated but they aren’t stupid. Mating is a big deal, and maybe the Amish have thought about it more realistically that the rest of us? But they made plans, such as sewing the young people into sacks so all they could do is cuddle. We don’t make realistic plans anymore.

Back to the Roanoke Times:

The article talks about alcohol-fueled sex in which the woman later regrets the encounter.

“Ms. Kozak introduced and discussed the article with the members of SPEAK to make her point that ‘regret equals rape,’ and went on to state her belief that this point was a new idea everyone is starting to agree with,” the lawsuit contends.

I can’t find anything on Google for a search of “Kozak ‘regret equals rape.'” I’m skeptical she said something that bald-faced. (Or maybe it’s just the blue eyes talking.) Of course, that’s what the Power Structure wants young women to take away, but they tend not to put it in so many words.

Five days after the presentation, Jane Doe reported to Kozak she was sexually assaulted but indicated she did not want to pursue a complaint, the lawsuit said.

By the end of October, Jane Doe changed her mind once she learned that both she and John Doe had been accepted into a program to study in Nepal for a semester, the lawsuit states.

So they were both scheduled to go to Nepal for an entire semester (is there really 15 weeks worth of stuff to learn in Nepal?) and she didn’t want to go with him what with him having a girlfriend, so she had expelled. Or at least that’s what the lawsuit claims.

So then on the day after the Rolling Stone article was published they had a kangaroo court (from the lawsuit: when the frat boy asked if he could get a lawyer, he was told by the administrators: “a lawyer can’t help you here. We won’t talk to them. This matter stays strictly within the school.” And on November 21 he was expelled on a 3-1 vote.

John Doe said that, since Jane Doe initiated sex, she, not he, would need to obtain consent. Therefore, “W&L engaged in blatant gender bias” by relying on gender stereotypes as to whom should be responsible for sexual assault.

Hey, John, what do you expect: we live in the “Who? Whom?” age.

As I said before, keep in mind that we don’t have the other side of the story.

I’m reminded of a comment on my blog by Buddwing:

December 16, 2014 at 5:22 am GMT

The Sapir-Whorf/Orwell effect of vocabulary is even more fundamental to this issue than you seem to realize, because it is not just the word “catfish” that is missing from the conceptual larder, but, in fact, an actual word for what allegedly happened to Jackie. The word “rape,” you see, is a euphemism, meaning abduction (related to the word “raptor”) with sexual relations only implied.

It is hard to draw boundaries around something only implied by the word that designates it. Searching the thesaurus, one only finds words that reference the idea of “honor,” such as “violate” or “despoil,” or legal subcategories, such as “sexual assault.”

I think that this points to a very important perspective. The idea of “Rape” as a crime is in important ways about controlling one’s and one’s family’s offspring, rather than sex or power. It is tied up with the idea of “honor,” particularly “family honor,” so much so that honor can only be restored in some cultures by the killing or suicide of the victim. This is the case in ancient Roman stories such as the Rape of Lucretia, as well as in present day news reports from Pakistan. An alternative method of restoring honor, for the bold or the powerful, was vengeance and vendetta.

Fortunately, the western world invented mechanisms short of death to restore a victim’s honor. These include societal mechanisms for impugning the honor of the perpetrator, the solicitation of sympathy for the victim, and the criminal prosecution of the rapist.

In the present day world of the college campus, we have a wide variety of circumstances and a lack of appropriate words. Thus everyone from Todd Akins (“legitimate rape”) to Whoopi Goldberg (“rape rape”) has struggled to express the distinction between the paradigmatic stranger assault with violence and the various forms of dishonor which the drunken coed might find visited upon herself. Without the words to divide categories, we find commentators citing the 1-in-5 college women are subject to some form of “sexual assault” as 1-in-5 college women are “raped” (self-righteously and with no sense that they have made a major categorical confusion).

We have women who want their “rapist” sex partners shamed, or expelled from campus, but not criminally prosecuted (I suggest, because they want their honor restored), while outside commentators cannot understand why they are not handed over to the police. Yet none of this seems to be discussable, because we lack both the vocabulary and the conceptual framework for conducting such a conversation.

Back in November, the Rape Culture hysterics wanted to have a UVA administrator named Nicole Eramo fired for not rousing a lynch mob to burn down the fraternity house where Jackie might (or might not) have told Dean Eramo she had been lured by Haven Monahan. Eramo was nationally denounced for saying nobody had been expelled under the UVA disciplinary procedure since the burden of proof was low and the procedures for determining justice in campus hearing were weak.

More strikingly, Erama implied that, in her experience, a lot of coeds didn’t want the boys they’d had sex with punished, they just wanted to tell off the boys in front of an authority figure who would validate their feelings.

This doesn’t make much sense, except in Buddwing’s framework of the girls wanting to feel that their honor has been restored by society.

My general impression is that we’re dealing with a lot of emotions of Biblical proportions — I’m reminded of the horrifying story in the Book of Genesis of Jacob’s daughter Dinah and Shechem, son of Hamor the Hivite — and our postmodern worldview is inadequate for thinking about them.

 
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  1. Great article. The following is particularly superb analysis, Steve, pithy and ringing true:

    We have inherited a masculine legal culture that is traditionally oriented toward coming to some kind of decision, such as guilty or not guilty. It’s in conflict with our current feminine therapeutic culture that is oriented toward talking for the sake of talking.

    It’s no wonder there’s so much confusion out there. The situation would be so much better if a few more people understood and respected the concept of chastity.

    BTW, I have to admit I lol’ed at both blue eyes lines.

    • Replies: @Anonymous

    BTW, I have to admit I lol’ed at both blue eyes lines.
     
    And those teeth are phenomenal. Her parents spent some serious bucks on an orthodontist.
    , @The most deplorable one

    It’s no wonder there’s so much confusion out there.
     
    Perhaps they sowed the seeds and showed us the solution:

    "There must be some kind of way out of here,”
    Said the joker to the thief.
    "There’s too much confusion,
    I can’t get no relief."

     

    See also Land of Confusion by Disturbed with its obsessive Nazi symbolism ....
    , @stillCARealist
    yes, Calvinist. I'm shocked when I hear what they teach in the high schools for "health". It's all about how to not get a disease or get pregnant. STAY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE is not in their curriculum. So many people think that message is unrealistic, but then I see scores of Indians and Chinese people living it out. I had an Indian boyfriend decades ago and he was committed to purity in his soul. I don't think I realized at the time what a gem he was (he married an Indian woman a few years later). My Chinese and Korean roommates in college were all waiting for marriage (and made it). Why can't we teach this any more?

    BTW, I wonder if it's all white and black students that behave so loosely. Are any Asian students ever involved in any of these accusations?

    when it comes to "date-rape", which is what we called it in the 80's, it seems nothing has changed in the last 30 years. The feminists are just getting crazier and the girls are still getting broken hearts. We take down all the signs and the fences and then act surprised when some people walk on the lawn.
  2. If you want to talk about false rape accusations of Biblical proportions, might I direct your attention to the episode of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife: Genesis chapter 39.

  3. “Ms. Kozak has the most distractingly blue eyes.”

    So did the Nazis.

  4. Oh god, the micro-aggressions are here. Let me guess, looking at a girl’s behind is a sexual micro-aggression. An unattractive guy asking a girl on a date is a sexual micro-aggression. A wolf whistle? Oh my god!

    I used to think the Anti-Sex League was one of the least believable things in ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’, but these lesbian tyrants are making me think again.

    • Replies: @Gato de la Biblioteca
    Dude, a hot guy turning some unattractive chick 's date request down is the real microaggression.
  5. I wonder if “regret equals rape” applies to LGBT experiences? If so, we may start to see another fissure in the Coalition of the Oppressed.

  6. Was the pearl necklace reference intentional? Did that slang even exist 35 years ago?

  7. 2Mintzin1 [AKA "Mike"] says:

    My concern is that this lawsuit, and others like it, will be settled before trial, with a mutual confidentiality agreement. University administrators (and to be fair, bureaucrats as a species) always tend to conceal the messes they make. A cat in a litter box comes to mind.

    A public trial, preceded by discovery, would allow the public to see how the Obama administration’s new rules on burden of proof, etc., for sexual assault charges operate in the real world.
    That would be worth seeing. Of course, I am assuming that the MSM would actually report the story, which is a big assumption these days.

  8. The Title IX compliance angle is interesting. Started out as something about girls sports – why the federal government should care about sports, I don’t know – and 40 odd years later its being used to police college dating.

    No one in politics will stand up to it because he/she’d be so quickly branded with a bad name, unfortunately.

  9. “I certainly didn’t feel like I’d been raped. But what had happened the night prior was not consensual sex, and I didn’t like it.”

    No, it is binary. If you weren’t “raped” (i.e. forced against your will) then it was consensual. Maybe we need to go back to the time when women weren’t allowed to have sex with anyone other than a husband if they are going to act like children who need supervision. There were chaperones and parietals for a reason, I suppose.

  10. Time for Dubyuhnell to go all-male again. That school has gone full retard in less than 2 decades. It was still all-male in the 1980s, but they moved out most of the dead wood in the early to mid 2000s. Amazingly fast takeover, and it’s a school with a very conservative donor base and almuni.

  11. Good for this frat boy! Lets ramp this up a bit and get some justice for boys doing what boys will do. I am against real rape but fabricated rape by vengeful young women who have drunken, mutually agreed upon hook ups, then have regrets and anger the morning after??? The legal system tilting America more in the direction of gynocracy! Most law school graduates are female these days which says more female induced (mayhem) lawfare is in our future.

    It is vile what the Title IX(?) laws are enabling them to do

  12. As someone who as been in the SFHB at W&L, I’d say that you are right in general but some details could be stronger.

    1. W&L has a pretty harsh honor code — violate it and you’re out. It is also completely student run.

    2. Everyone agrees the honor code does not apply to relations with women. Also, the adminstration wants to have some adults on this.

    3. The SFHB system “works” in the sense of due process. I’d say the student I represented got due process but still got shafted.

    4. The basic problem is you have adults there — and they have little regard and memory for who students hook up these days and what happens if something goes bad.

    5. A student run SFHB woud be more fair, but would not meet federal requirements.

    The idea that W&L is some hotbed of blonde activism is offensive. It is true there is a heavy frat culture — W&L only went co-ed in the late 80s, you have 23 some frats and half the number of men around.

  13. Lots and lots of comments follow that linked article by ‘Hot Piece of TSM’ (she’s active on Twitter).

    Per the theme of Buddwing’s remarks quoted by Steve, here’s the first one, by ‘southerngirl2294’, representative of many that follow:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I had something like this happen to me my freshman year, and a while later I started dating another guy. I eventually opened up to my boyfriend at the time about what had happened, explaining that I felt like I got raped, but at the same time I knew it wasn’t RAPE. He accused me of being the “girl who cried wolf” and broke up with me then and there, and then proceeded to tell the guy that raped-but-didn’t-rape-me-idk that I was going around telling people that he raped me (which I wasn’t, nobody knew that him and I had sex besides me, my big, and my later boyfriend). This is an issue that needs to somehow be addressed, because I know I’m not alone when I say that there’s nights where I just break down and cry because I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about sleeping with this guy 3 years later.

    ‘Hot Piece of TSM’ replied,

    I’m sorry to hear that, and I definitely do think it’s an issue. You’re not alone. I’d really venture to say that most women have an experience like this. Maybe different details. But you didn’t say no. And you’re not mad at the guy, and don’t want him to get in trouble. But it left you feeling uncomfortable. I think starting a dialogue is the first step, but I don’t have any idea what the possible solution is.

    And ‘marymalcolm’ chimed in:

    Reading through this made my stomach twist. First off, I’m so sorry you went through this. All of you. Anyone who has gone through this. Blanket I’m sorry here. Second, this was not a case of rape’ish’ behavior, this was rape. With that being said, I’m not saying all rape should be treated equally. This guy doesn’t deserve to spend the next ten years of his life locked away in prison. He doesn’t deserve being branded a sexual predator for life. He does deserve to know that what he did was wholly unacceptable. Consent is not always actually saying the word ‘no.’ If a girl is lying there, not moving, not making eye-contact, she’s telling him no. He treated sex with her as if she were a hole in the wall and that’s definitely not sex, that’s rape.

    What makes me so sad is that there’s a big chance he was never told how unacceptable and awful this was. So that means there is a big chance it will happen again. Maybe not between them, but definitely with someone else. You ask what should be done about something like this, it should be talked about. The guy needs to be told what happened wasn’t right. Other people need to be told this behavior isn’t right. Until we all decide that this is definitely not right, it will keep happening. What sucks is I think we’ve all decided it, but we might still be afraid to actually say the words. I’m so glad you spoke out on here because it started a dialogue, but the next step and probably the most important is that he HAS to be made aware of what consent is and what it isn’t. Rape is sex without consent. This WAS rape.

    So much feminine ambiguity, doubt, and chattiness on display. These gals need to submit to the firm hand of an Andrea Dworkin or a Lauren Kozen, in order to be directed to the correct interpretation of events.

    • Replies: @The most deplorable one

    So much feminine ambiguity, doubt, and chattiness on display.
     
    Actually, so much crazy on display.

    There is a reason that college guys these days say: Never stick it in teh crazy!
    , @Camlost
    @ AMac

    Wow, this part of the passage you posted is particularly frightening:

    The guy needs to be told what happened wasn’t right. Other people need to be told this behavior isn’t right. Until we all decide that this is definitely not right, it will keep happening. What sucks is I think we’ve all decided it, but we might still be afraid to actually say the words.
     
    Feminist-leaning women have a lot in common with blacks in that they have no idea how justice, law/courts or legal definitions really work. Their remedy for everything is to heap on the voluminous public shaming and woe-is-me finger pointing until you feel better.
    , @officious intermeddler

    I eventually opened up to my boyfriend .... He accused me of being the “girl who cried wolf” and broke up with me then and there
     
    Smart man!
  14. “In the present day world of the college campus, we have a wide variety of circumstances and a lack of appropriate words.”

    Yeah, since the word “fornication” is somehow taboo to utter or even think of, they’ve resorted to the term rape or the euphamism “sexual assault.” Christendom knew better and was wise to call fornication a mortal sin, because the Hell that we see with these ridiculous allegations of rape were a predictable consequence in the eyes of Christians who have eyes to see (i.e., Christians willing to notice).

    But since these moral idiots of leftism lack the moral vocabulary, they put themselves in a bind with the relaxing of the older moral codes and enforcing equalism. Now they get lawsuit. Under the old moral code, fornication would have been a problem whereby the male would have been thrown out of school. But also under the old moral code, no one would have been crazy enough to have co-ed campuses either.

  15. I would tell my kids to do pretty much what I do; eschew stimulants entirely (drinks, drugs, cigs) and have a very clear understanding in the difference between love & lust. Don’t sleep with someone just because you love them or they love you, sex is the intersection of clear-headed mutual lust.

    Heinlein incidentally has been a big influence on my perspective on libertarian morality (Stranger in a Strange Land and on your recommendation Steve I whizzed through Moon is a Harsh Mistress, it is the libertarian manual).

  16. “from the demented obsession of Andrea Dworkin-style she-beasts into a sensible professional career path for tasteful-string-of-pearls young ladies like Ms. Kozak. ”

    What happended was the FedGov attached a salary+pension+early retirement to the job. Previously the likes of Ms Dworkin had to make the rounds of campuses selling poorly edited paperbacks, which did not pay well enough to attract a proper young lady. Confession: I once purchased an autographed first edition, shame on me. Once a government job is involved a better class of grifter is attracted to it. Just like yesterdays witch hunters and today’s muslim hunters.

  17. I think I’ve come up with a completely original solution to this problem. Don’t have ex with omebody who is not your spouse.

  18. My general impression is that we’re dealing with a lot of emotions of Biblical proportions…

    Great series, Steve.

    For several generations now we’ve had a culture where the young are taught that something fundamentally important (sex) is a trivial aspect of life. They (particularly girls) are taught that fire doesn’t burn. When they get badly burnt, “authority figures” keep telling them that something else (“rape culture”, blond frat boys, phlogiston), causes burns, not fire.

    It also seems to be the case that the real goal of modern feminism is to demonstrate that everything that the worst misogynists have ever said about women down through history is true.

  19. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Maybe I didn’t want to feel like I’d led him on. Maybe I didn’t want to disappoint him. Maybe I just didn’t want to deal with the “let’s do it, but no, we shouldn’t” verbal tug-of-war that so often happens before sleeping with someone. It was easier to just do it. Besides, we were already in bed, and this is what people in bed do. I felt an obligation, a duty to go through with it. I felt guilty for not wanting to. I wasn’t a virgin. I’d done this before. It shouldn’t have been a big deal–it’s just sex–so I didn’t want to make it one. …

    Reading TSM is like reading the JPost or Ha’aretz. It’s like eavesdropping on a private conversation where everyone tells the truth because they are among friends.
    This passage reads like a condensed pamphlet version of “I Am Charlotte Simmons”.

  20. Although the article, which told the story of the brutal, violent gang rape of a woman nicknamed “Jackie” at a University of Virginia fraternity house, has since had its veracity called into question, students at Washington and Lee University agree it has done something remarkable on campus—started a conversation.

    As I’ve pointed out before, this will be the go-to argument for some time.

    • Replies: @Gato de la Biblioteca
    Yeah, but I keep wondering what the hell has gone wrong on college campuses that something as common place as a conversation needs a witch hunt before it can start. Seriously, WTF?
  21. I can agree that having a word for a thing is a huge advantage in discussing the thing. My first thought was “slutf***ed”, indicating that the girl had been used as a slut, but I don’t think that term would be accepted by the ladies in question. So I nominate “badsexxed”. You were sexed, and it was bad.

    Traits of a badsex experience:
    1. Sex with a lack of commitment
    2. Sex without love
    3. Sex without well-thought out consent. (Overlaps with 1 but obviously not identical).

    “After no fewer than 13 hours of drinking”…”This was a guy with whom I’d had countless conversations about his inability to care about women, romantically. “I did not want to have sex with him.—–But I did.—-He slid inside me and I didn’t say a word. At the time, I didn’t know why.”

    Umm, because after 13 hours of drinking, rational decisions aren’t something you do.

    “I felt an obligation, a duty to go through with it. I felt guilty for not wanting to….. It shouldn’t have been a big deal–it’s just sex–so I didn’t want to make it one.”

    Ding ding ding. Sex is a big deal. More so for women.

    “I wanted the flirting. I wanted the kissing. I wanted the sleepover. But I didn’t want to go all the way. ”

    As the hashtag says, #blessyourheart.

    BTW Steve, I’m pretty sure the Sleepover isn’t a thing. I’d guess it’s either a prelude to sex (she tells herself beforehand that it’ll just be a sleepover and then things “just happen”) or, for those squares still in a relationship, a step on the road to “going all the way”.

    “And that’s very hard to explain to a man who is just as drunk as you are.”

    From the account of Matt, I don’t think him being sober would have done any good. Maybe your brain didn’t want to, but your tingly vagina outvoted your 13-hour-drunk brain.

    “As we cuddled, I realized that what we had done was no different to him than the sex he’d had with anyone else.”

    Again, bless y0ur heart you special snowflake.

    “There is not a word for my experience.”

    Well, there are phrases involving the term “ho”.

    “It happens to us with consistent hookups, first dates, boyfriends, and one-night stands alike. We have sex with guys, because sometimes it’s just easier to do it than to have the argument about not doing it.”

    Because your default is set to “why not.” That’s probably not the happiness-maximizing default for women. “Consistent hookups, first dates and one-night stands” means without commitment. “Boyfriends” means relationship-maintenance sex, I believe.

    “But by refusing to acknowledge the existence of these rape-ish situations, we’re continuing to subject ourselves to them indefinitely.”

    Well, if you don’t treat access to your body as precious, and if you drink to impairment, you’re going to subject yourselves to being badsexxed.

  22. @The Last Real Calvinist
    Great article. The following is particularly superb analysis, Steve, pithy and ringing true:

    We have inherited a masculine legal culture that is traditionally oriented toward coming to some kind of decision, such as guilty or not guilty. It’s in conflict with our current feminine therapeutic culture that is oriented toward talking for the sake of talking.
     
    It's no wonder there's so much confusion out there. The situation would be so much better if a few more people understood and respected the concept of chastity.

    BTW, I have to admit I lol'ed at both blue eyes lines.

    BTW, I have to admit I lol’ed at both blue eyes lines.

    And those teeth are phenomenal. Her parents spent some serious bucks on an orthodontist.

  23. Nepal should be a pretty interesting place to someone interested in ethnicity. Per Wikipedia there are 123 languages spoken as mother tongues in Nepal – a country with just 27 million people.

  24. The most deplorable one [AKA "Fourth doorman of the apocalypse"] says:
    @ic1000
    Lots and lots of comments follow that linked article by 'Hot Piece of TSM' (she's active on Twitter).

    Per the theme of Buddwing's remarks quoted by Steve, here's the first one, by 'southerngirl2294', representative of many that follow:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I had something like this happen to me my freshman year, and a while later I started dating another guy. I eventually opened up to my boyfriend at the time about what had happened, explaining that I felt like I got raped, but at the same time I knew it wasn’t RAPE. He accused me of being the “girl who cried wolf” and broke up with me then and there, and then proceeded to tell the guy that raped-but-didn’t-rape-me-idk that I was going around telling people that he raped me (which I wasn’t, nobody knew that him and I had sex besides me, my big, and my later boyfriend). This is an issue that needs to somehow be addressed, because I know I’m not alone when I say that there’s nights where I just break down and cry because I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about sleeping with this guy 3 years later.
     
    'Hot Piece of TSM' replied,

    I’m sorry to hear that, and I definitely do think it’s an issue. You’re not alone. I’d really venture to say that most women have an experience like this. Maybe different details. But you didn’t say no. And you’re not mad at the guy, and don’t want him to get in trouble. But it left you feeling uncomfortable. I think starting a dialogue is the first step, but I don’t have any idea what the possible solution is.
     
    And 'marymalcolm' chimed in:

    Reading through this made my stomach twist. First off, I’m so sorry you went through this. All of you. Anyone who has gone through this. Blanket I’m sorry here. Second, this was not a case of rape’ish’ behavior, this was rape. With that being said, I’m not saying all rape should be treated equally. This guy doesn’t deserve to spend the next ten years of his life locked away in prison. He doesn’t deserve being branded a sexual predator for life. He does deserve to know that what he did was wholly unacceptable. Consent is not always actually saying the word ‘no.’ If a girl is lying there, not moving, not making eye-contact, she’s telling him no. He treated sex with her as if she were a hole in the wall and that’s definitely not sex, that’s rape.

    What makes me so sad is that there’s a big chance he was never told how unacceptable and awful this was. So that means there is a big chance it will happen again. Maybe not between them, but definitely with someone else. You ask what should be done about something like this, it should be talked about. The guy needs to be told what happened wasn’t right. Other people need to be told this behavior isn’t right. Until we all decide that this is definitely not right, it will keep happening. What sucks is I think we’ve all decided it, but we might still be afraid to actually say the words. I’m so glad you spoke out on here because it started a dialogue, but the next step and probably the most important is that he HAS to be made aware of what consent is and what it isn’t. Rape is sex without consent. This WAS rape.
     
    So much feminine ambiguity, doubt, and chattiness on display. These gals need to submit to the firm hand of an Andrea Dworkin or a Lauren Kozen, in order to be directed to the correct interpretation of events.

    So much feminine ambiguity, doubt, and chattiness on display.

    Actually, so much crazy on display.

    There is a reason that college guys these days say: Never stick it in teh crazy!

  25. The moral of the story should be pretty clear for college men: Go find yourself a blue-collar girl off-campus, and leave the college girls to themselves. Let college be a nunnery for them.

    • Replies: @Flip
    Or at least date women from other colleges. They can't throw you out of a college you don't go to, right?
  26. I find Ms. Kozak’s blue eyes and blonde hair to be oppressive – in a micro-agression sort of way.

  27. Its not so much honor as control. Feminism, and the changing sexual mores that resulted, have meant that women have lost much of the control they had in sexual negotiations with high-status men who have options. If they really like a guy they have to please him sooner rather than later or he fades and finds someone else. And in a game theory sense, with sex and commitment separated, it is more than ever in the interest of males to put off commitment as long as possible and force the woman to constantly appease him or risk that he will find someone new. Women are now attempting to tip the scales by getting the authorities to discipline the men they feel have taken advantage of them. However, this will not work as intended because the lower-status men who had sex with her when she was drunk/vulnerable will make up the vast majority of those who will be disciplined. All the while few will notice the disconnect between the Cosmoesque you-go-girl rhetoric and college sex seminars and the neo-Victorianism being imposed by the powers that be. No one will also bother to ask why there is a epidemic of high-status men, who can easily get sex from attractive women, forcing themselves on unwilling partners? Sounds like a female bodice-ripper fantasy. Maybe the real problem, from the female PoV, is having to endure the attention of low – status men while they chase the elusive commitment of alphas?

  28. The most deplorable one [AKA "Fourth doorman of the apocalypse"] says:
    @The Last Real Calvinist
    Great article. The following is particularly superb analysis, Steve, pithy and ringing true:

    We have inherited a masculine legal culture that is traditionally oriented toward coming to some kind of decision, such as guilty or not guilty. It’s in conflict with our current feminine therapeutic culture that is oriented toward talking for the sake of talking.
     
    It's no wonder there's so much confusion out there. The situation would be so much better if a few more people understood and respected the concept of chastity.

    BTW, I have to admit I lol'ed at both blue eyes lines.

    It’s no wonder there’s so much confusion out there.

    Perhaps they sowed the seeds and showed us the solution:

    “There must be some kind of way out of here,”
    Said the joker to the thief.
    “There’s too much confusion,
    I can’t get no relief.”

    See also Land of Confusion by Disturbed with its obsessive Nazi symbolism ….

  29. I’m an eye-rapist myself. Every time a nice ass goes by I eye-rape the hell out of that thing. By the time the femmes are done redefining sexual assault, I could be looking at several hundred life sentences. And I feel certain that, not once during the entire time of my incarceration will they ever notice the lyrics to rap music. It is a frequency they cannot hear (although they secretly listen to it at home).

    The bundling thing sounds hot though. A night of passionate frustration tied up in a sack next to an Amish virgin. I really hope they’re washing that sack, ’cause I don’t even want to know what the inside of that thing looks like. But I do know that, now, when a nice ass goes by, I’m going to be imagining bundling all night with it. Which is probably going to bring some kind of additional hate crime charges.

  30. I sure am glad I’m not in college now!

    With all this convoluted, retroactive, plastic regulation of sex, I don’t know if Mr. Happy would even be able to stand up and join the party when the time came.

    Really, if it were me there now, I would be celibate, and I would have little or nothing to do with women at college. Period. Or no period. Period.

    Also, looking back, I think I might have been the victim of rape, several times with several different women. You see, I kind of regret having sex with some of them…

    It just seemed like what I was expected to do at the time. It’s what they wanted. Or certainly what they seemed to want. I didn’t want to disappoint them.

    Honestly, I regret it now. Why? Because in today’s crazy environment, I might have ended up getting branded by one of them as…I won’t even say it.

  31. I’ve noticed in recent months 2 interesting and related theories being pushed on PUA/Manosphere blogs wrt the ongoing Campus Rape Hysteria:

    1. It’s about restoring pre-1968 sexual norms without the fear of being labeled a boring puritanical Republican. By scaring men, you force them to court women. By scaring women (YOU CAN HAZ 20-25% CHANCE OF BEING RAPE-RAPED BY THAT TOTS HAWT FRAT-BRO!!!!) you get them to be more cautious wrt who they agree to spend their time with.

    2. It’s about protecting the honor of white girls.

    • Replies: @Hard Line Realist
    I suspect that the difference will be between women who associate with black males and women who don't.

    Since black males commit murder at rates that are seven or more times greater than white and other males, their rape rates are likely similar or even higher.
  32. By the way, what ever happened to the real story from UVA and the Rt. 29 corridor: Jesse Matthew, the black serial killer-rapist-kidnapper of white women. He who actually did rape and kill a UVA student? Isn’t it interesting how all this has put him on the back burner?

    He’s just not a good poster boy, is he?

  33. This doesn’t make much sense, except in Buddwing’s framework of the girls wanting to feel that their honor has been restored by society.

    Shotgun weddings were a traditional means of restoring honor.

    • Replies: @Jack D
    Shotgun weddings were generally reserved for girls who became pregnant. Of course, without contraception, this would be most of them who were having sex, sooner or later.

    What the people who are talking about restoring pre-1968 or Victorian or Christian, etc. morals are forgetting is that birth control (and the ability of women to support themselves and their children and/or be supported by the government) has changed everything. Once you take pregnancy and the prospect of having to beg on the streets out of the equation, that completely changes the risk/reward calculus for sex.
  34. If this keeps up college will lose its second best selling point to young men (or first, depending): being a great place to score.

  35. First read if you have not already.

    The Erdely-Renda Connection
    http://28sherman.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-erdely-renda-connection.html

    How Many White House Visits for Emily Renda?
    http://28sherman.blogspot.com/2014/12/how-many-white-house-visits-for-emily.html

    The Political Ends of the UVa Hoax + Renda
    http://28sherman.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-political-ends-of-uva-hoax-renda.html

    It is still remotely possible that the UVA Rape hoax was not driven by a top down “Narrative” defined in part by the Oval Office and embraced by the NYT?

    Lets see if none of the dozen different NYT journalists and editorialists enlisted in flogging this hoax loses their job at a time that NYT is laying off over 100 people. Then I would say it just might be that they are either loyal party members and or they know too much to be trusted to keep their mouths shut as part of their severance package.

  36. Very nice analysis and there is certainly something women want in these matters, and it is clearly not criminal prosecution or sanction (it appears that few of these claimed sexual assaults would meet a criminal standard in any case.) Honor? Revenge? A Ring? This goes back to the Clark and Michigan standards of “sexual assault” and “coercion” discussed earlier.

    Also a very good point about the lack of an appropriate vocabulary, however the number of “sexual assaults” = “rapes” — I note in passing — appears to be rising to 1/4 at this point.

    Speaking of vocabulary, the article quotes the following: “ostracization”. Whatever happened to “ostracism”? Someone please call the language police.

    If the more relaxed Title IX standards gain ground, I would imagine that the net result will be fewer men on campus, if the current ratio is 60/40 women over men (as I have heard), then we may soon reach a tipping point where college will essentially become a “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” arena in which women talk about their problems, while men prefer to solve them. Needless to say it will also cause the few remaining men who are actually going to college to gravitate to local women who are not attending college, or women attending other colleges. That would nip the problem in the bud.

    However, in any college setting, if the men stop attending, then it is very likely the women will stop attending as well. I don’t think a person like Jackie (or the W&L woman above) would be very interested in attending a college where it was understood that the men on campus were absolutely off-limits for sexual activity (with the crucial and/or of commitment, with all that that entails.)

    • Replies: @Buzz Mohawk

    "However, in any college setting, if the men stop attending, then it is very likely the women will stop attending as well. I don’t think a person like Jackie (or the W&L woman above) would be very interested in attending a college where it was understood that the men on campus were absolutely off-limits for sexual activity (with the crucial and/or of commitment, with all that that entails.)"
     
    Where I went to college, the funnier female students called it "getting their M-R-S degree."

    A few that I "knew" (before their husbands did!) were successful at that, and went on to very profitable lives as "Mrs." so-and-so, married to male graduates.

    I think one or two of those guys may have no idea...

  37. Poring over dusty, cracked tomes in long-forgotten archives, I came across a term for the situation that Hot Piece of TSM described:

    Hot Piece of TSM was “taken advantage of” by Matt.

  38. Off topic — CNN did a report on Joanne Chesimard last night. Was Obama unaware of her, is he that lazy? http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/12/18/nj-police-seek-return-of-joanne-chesimard-fugitive-cop-killer-in-cuba/

  39. @ic1000
    Lots and lots of comments follow that linked article by 'Hot Piece of TSM' (she's active on Twitter).

    Per the theme of Buddwing's remarks quoted by Steve, here's the first one, by 'southerngirl2294', representative of many that follow:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I had something like this happen to me my freshman year, and a while later I started dating another guy. I eventually opened up to my boyfriend at the time about what had happened, explaining that I felt like I got raped, but at the same time I knew it wasn’t RAPE. He accused me of being the “girl who cried wolf” and broke up with me then and there, and then proceeded to tell the guy that raped-but-didn’t-rape-me-idk that I was going around telling people that he raped me (which I wasn’t, nobody knew that him and I had sex besides me, my big, and my later boyfriend). This is an issue that needs to somehow be addressed, because I know I’m not alone when I say that there’s nights where I just break down and cry because I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about sleeping with this guy 3 years later.
     
    'Hot Piece of TSM' replied,

    I’m sorry to hear that, and I definitely do think it’s an issue. You’re not alone. I’d really venture to say that most women have an experience like this. Maybe different details. But you didn’t say no. And you’re not mad at the guy, and don’t want him to get in trouble. But it left you feeling uncomfortable. I think starting a dialogue is the first step, but I don’t have any idea what the possible solution is.
     
    And 'marymalcolm' chimed in:

    Reading through this made my stomach twist. First off, I’m so sorry you went through this. All of you. Anyone who has gone through this. Blanket I’m sorry here. Second, this was not a case of rape’ish’ behavior, this was rape. With that being said, I’m not saying all rape should be treated equally. This guy doesn’t deserve to spend the next ten years of his life locked away in prison. He doesn’t deserve being branded a sexual predator for life. He does deserve to know that what he did was wholly unacceptable. Consent is not always actually saying the word ‘no.’ If a girl is lying there, not moving, not making eye-contact, she’s telling him no. He treated sex with her as if she were a hole in the wall and that’s definitely not sex, that’s rape.

    What makes me so sad is that there’s a big chance he was never told how unacceptable and awful this was. So that means there is a big chance it will happen again. Maybe not between them, but definitely with someone else. You ask what should be done about something like this, it should be talked about. The guy needs to be told what happened wasn’t right. Other people need to be told this behavior isn’t right. Until we all decide that this is definitely not right, it will keep happening. What sucks is I think we’ve all decided it, but we might still be afraid to actually say the words. I’m so glad you spoke out on here because it started a dialogue, but the next step and probably the most important is that he HAS to be made aware of what consent is and what it isn’t. Rape is sex without consent. This WAS rape.
     
    So much feminine ambiguity, doubt, and chattiness on display. These gals need to submit to the firm hand of an Andrea Dworkin or a Lauren Kozen, in order to be directed to the correct interpretation of events.

    @ AMac

    Wow, this part of the passage you posted is particularly frightening:

    The guy needs to be told what happened wasn’t right. Other people need to be told this behavior isn’t right. Until we all decide that this is definitely not right, it will keep happening. What sucks is I think we’ve all decided it, but we might still be afraid to actually say the words.

    Feminist-leaning women have a lot in common with blacks in that they have no idea how justice, law/courts or legal definitions really work. Their remedy for everything is to heap on the voluminous public shaming and woe-is-me finger pointing until you feel better.

  40. When an organization becomes feminized, priority shifts from efficient and profitable production of goods and services to development of labarynthine rules for the comfort and security of women. Ossification and organizational death are inevitable.

  41. The discussion you’re quoting here looks to me like it’s part of working out sensible sexual behavior, now that most people have dropped more traditional sexual rules. Sex is fun when it’s happening, but it’s often the case that the next morning, you realize you’ve made a really bad decision. Youth, horniness, loneliness, alcohol, and stress all make that more likely. So the discussion is 100% reasonable to have.

    The only problem is, this has nothing to do with rape or sexual assault. Engaging the mechanisms designed to deal with serious crimes when you’re really talking about morning-after regrets or ambivelance about whether you really wanted to sleep together is pretty-much guaranteed to end badly. Among other things, this puts those mechanisms in the position of dealing with unhappy kids who made bad decisions 95% of the time, so that they’re unprepared to deal with the 5% of the time that there has actually been a serious crime, and you’re dealing with a rape victim who probably needs to be talking to the police and then maybe to a therapist or something.

    • Replies: @Citizen of a Silly Country
    Bingo.

    Thanks to you and Steve for shedding light on what's going on.
  42. Steve,

    Thanks. This post is very enlightening.

    I believe that men look at a crime as something that threatens not just the victim but society and, therefore, should be prosecuted both as retribution and for the cohesion of society. So when we hear the accusation of rape, we’re – or, at least, I am – viewing it as threat to all of us in the sense that either 1) we need to get a rapist off the street and show other would-be rapists we happens or 2) we need to show that falsely accusing someone of rape leads to public shunning and embarrassment. (I’d prefer a bit more, to be honest.) Therefore, we want the accusation to play out in the courts with evidence, which is how societal problems are best dealt with.

    For women, the society part of the equation just doesn’t seem to come up. It’s a personal situation, particularly with the vague date rape situation. The woman just wants to get her say and maybe punish the guy with expulsion. I mean, if he really was a rapist, expelling him from school wouldn’t reduce his threat to society. For the woman, it’s about getting her honor back, or, at least, showing that the guy is a jerk. But, again, if he really was a rapist, should she be concerned for other women. Doesn’t she have concern for those women and society in general?

    In truth, the main issue going on is the heavy drinking and unsupervised cohabitation on campuses coupled with the culture of hooking up. Getting hundreds of thousands of 19-year-olds really drunk and then having them get into bed with each other is bound to lead to some bad situations where no one really knows what happened.

    That’s the cause of the vast majority of problems, not ruffies or evil, plotting frat boys.

    Unfortunately, I’m not too sure what you do about it. It was the same when I went to college. Kids aren’t going to stop drinking. Colleges aren’t going to go single-sex. I suppose that kids could stop hooking up with people they barely know, but that’s unlikely – although all of this hoopla may make some young men think twice. (Just kidding. It should, but 19-year men – if they are anything like I was – are borderline retarded when it comes to women.)

    What I do know is that I’ll do my best to let my daughters understand how things can turn south very quickly under those circumstances, so best to avoid them.

  43. The most deplorable one [AKA "Fourth doorman of the apocalypse"] says:

    Steve, I think you are raising an important issue and stumbling towards an enlightenment.

    The high-speed destruction of behavioral norms that function to ensure that both males and females approached sexual behavior in a manner that was not going to lead to severe emotional issues later in life is not a good thing. Those behavioral norms evolved over a long period of time and they respect innate psychological predispositions of males and females.

    I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.

    Of course, there are some males who do regard the pair bond as a very important thing. Witness all those men who have been married for a long time. Even Obama believes in appearances, it seems.

    • Replies: @Cagey Beast

    I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.
     
    Your comment reminded me of this broadcast ad. Talk about unhinged:

    Summer's Eve - Hail to the "V" commercial - extended cut
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Cs3Pp7mYg
    , @Hard Line Realist

    and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.
     
    I don't think you understand this notching business.
    , @Flip
    "I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged."

    Eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap...
  44. I graduated from Washington and Lee Law school in 1992. Great institution; lots of good people there. It’s certainly no bastion of liberalism — or at least it wasn’t when I was there. General Lee’s buried on the campus, for Chrissake — and so is his horse.

    That said, I hope John Doe really rings the bell with his lawsuit.

    • Replies: @Anonymous
    Can I get your number?
  45. A big problem here is the misuse of language, and the teaching of people to misuse the language. A bunch of young women in this discussion are learning to use the term “rape” for sex with morning-after regrets. This deprives those women of a way of describing what happened to them in a way that distinguishes it from genuine rape. If you have sex outside of a committed relationship very often, you are very likely to experience some morning-after regret, or feeling used, or whatever. That is a bad thing that is worth avoiding, and there are ways you can avoid it, like resolving not to sleep with anyone till you’ve been dating him for awhile and you both seem to want a relationship. But it has little to do with rape–no resolution on your part will help if the guy you’re with forces you or drugs you or something. Similarly, the resolution to “the morning after, I realized he was a cad who just wanted into my pants” is “so I decided to have nothing more to do with him and to warn my friend about him.” The resolution to “and then the bastard raped me” is to call the cops and get the bastard put in prison, where he belongs. Very different situations.

    • Replies: @DCThrowback
    The vast majority of women would, if they could choose, wait until they have extracted signs of commitment from a guy to have sex. The problem for many women is that the guy she really likes probably has lots of other sexual options, and if she tells him she wants to wait, he may make himself scarce and avail himself of those alternatives. Because women, particularly more attractive women, will be more attracted to guys with options, and conversely less attracted to guys who are too eager to commit to them, it is in the best interest of males to resist commitment to a woman, both from the standpoint of gaining maximum leverage in the relationship and maximizing her attraction to him. Traditional sexual mores gave the female an excuse for avoiding sex until commitment, but also made it less costly for a guy to pursue commitment. Feminists are waking up to the fact that post-feminist sexual relations entirely favor high-status males. They are trying to rectify that by taking aim at the "Haven Monhans" of the world, but their efforts will be almost entirely futile. Instead, like the cat-calling video, they will hit the low-status men, and maybe that is their intended target.
  46. @NOTA
    The discussion you're quoting here looks to me like it's part of working out sensible sexual behavior, now that most people have dropped more traditional sexual rules. Sex is fun when it's happening, but it's often the case that the next morning, you realize you've made a really bad decision. Youth, horniness, loneliness, alcohol, and stress all make that more likely. So the discussion is 100% reasonable to have.

    The only problem is, this has nothing to do with rape or sexual assault. Engaging the mechanisms designed to deal with serious crimes when you're really talking about morning-after regrets or ambivelance about whether you really wanted to sleep together is pretty-much guaranteed to end badly. Among other things, this puts those mechanisms in the position of dealing with unhappy kids who made bad decisions 95% of the time, so that they're unprepared to deal with the 5% of the time that there has actually been a serious crime, and you're dealing with a rape victim who probably needs to be talking to the police and then maybe to a therapist or something.

    Bingo.

    Thanks to you and Steve for shedding light on what’s going on.

  47. ancestry.com
    Kozak Name Meaning
    Ukrainian, Polish, Sorbian, Czech, Slovak (Kozák), and Hungarian (Kozák): ethnic name for a Cossack

    • Replies: @peterike
    Kozak Name Meaning
    Ukrainian, Polish, Sorbian, Czech, Slovak (Kozák), and Hungarian (Kozák): ethnic name for a Cossack


    Ain't her name.

    First, there's another Lauren Kozak out there, who based on her Twitter picture is my kind of hottie:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/107638687/IMG_6349_v01.jpg

    Then there's our Lauren Kozak, nee Park.

    http://law.pepperdine.edu/news-events/news/2008/08/laurenamy.htm

    So Lauren Park, pretty WASPy sort of a name.
  48. If America didn’t have such a puritanical faith based view of looking at sensual issues of intimacy we wouldn’t have these types of problems

  49. “Part of the genius of what the Obama Administration has been up to is converting the promotion of Rape Culture hysteria from the demented obsession of Andrea Dworkin-style she-beasts into a sensible professional career path for tasteful-string-of-pearls young ladies like Ms. Kozak.”

    There’s no “genius” or act by Obama about anything in this regard. Things are just falling into place for him. These not Dworkin looking women are the products of the university system of the 80s and 90s when this garbage first started and that system was hugely influenced by Dworkin types who accomplished two things, 1) created the “hook-up” culture that separated sex from any moral underpinning so that women too could have sex without strings attached (except that 99% of women can’t enjoy sex that way, they need to be plastered to even engage in it) and 2) made women think that their natural regret for engaging in casual sex was not natural at all, had nothing to do with the women behaving in ways every cell in her body told her was wrong, but was the result of coercion or some other bad thing her male counterpart had done, i.e., rape. That 1) and 2) above are incompatible, inconsistent and insane is irrelevant. This is the mucked up world of most college coeds today and has been for decades. Demanding to act like a tramp, while furious at being treated like a tramp.

    In any sane White society, of course, women like Kozak would be wholly satisfied to be confident and wonderful mothers to a new generation of children with mesmerizing blue eyes, but instead she’s wasting away convinced she’s doing something important for someone, somewhere, sometime. (If Kozak has children, bravo! but I tend to doubt it–everything in her resume screams not.)

    • Replies: @Wally
    Bingo.

    The 'free love' of the sixties is now a weapon in the hands of the hate mongering, male bashing, leftist lesbian culture ... under the false front of 'feminism'.
  50. “Is it Possible That There Is Something In Between Consensual Sex And Rape…And That It Happens To Almost Every Girl Out There?”

    The girl’s mouth said No, the girl’s pooter said Yes, and eventually the pooter won out and gave in.

  51. I suppose trying to promote the moral codes of the 1950s would be a total non-starter with these people.

  52. This is Salem 1692.

  53. In my opinion, it takes a lot for a girl to call administration and report a boy for sexual misconduct (assuming the person is not crazy). I think most of these cases in college are about “honor”, but many are also about being not being “used” which is very important for a woman, especially for young sexually inexperienced women. This is is something that men don’t get because men and women understand sex very differently. I had a 17 year old puerto rican roommate in college who was extremely naive and innocent. She met a foreign student who showered her with attention (which i knew was fake), and had soon manipulated her ( i love the word grooming) to fall in love with him. she went on to have a sexual relationship with him as he had also promised her marriage, but once he graduated at the end of the year, he cut her off and left her high and dry. This girl was devastated, and felt violated, used and discarded..she never recovered and dropped out from college. I can see someone like her going to administration and reporting him for sexual misconduct, and I can see how this is sexual misconduct. If a man or woman cons you into giving away your money , he/she would be arrested and jailed. But society does not think it is a crime to con women for sex and there lies an old problem-mostly for women. The problem is there is no recourse for young women who were sexually used under false pretense, and perhaps the only way to address it – at least in colleges -is to have mechanisms to control it, and scare boys into not being so exploitive of the young and naive.. Feminists are brilliant, they know the only way to constrain the sexual manipulation of women is by labeling such behavior as rape. Ofcourse there are many problems with this approach for men, as the punishment for such misconduct can be too severe, and there is the issue of false accusations. Furthermore Some many men are not manipulative , but just careless and inconsiderate. That is why people like Dean Erasmo can help, she can talk to both boy and girl, and have the boy apologize, clear some misunderstandings. He can be put him on notice to not repeat his manipulative behavior again or else. The girl will see how the boy is genuinely scared and/or remorseful and her honor and sanity are restored. American feminists can be crazy sometimes, but they know exactly what they are doing. They are at the forefront of demanding respect for global womanhood, and if they can’t obtain it for white, highly educated, middle and upper class female students of a superpower, well, than, what good are they?

    • Replies: @Johanus de Morgateroyde
    I'm impressed with the commentariat here... it's nice to see the occasional argument from another viewpoint that makes enough sense that it "moves the needle".

    Not that I agree with all of it...


    They are at the forefront of demanding respect for global womanhood, ...
     
    Global Manhood has been trying to demand respect since time immemorial -- with little success. So, good luck with that.
    , @map
    What you are arguing is ridiculous. You honestly expect a college kid to honor a vow of marriage where it's obvious that none exists? Being naive and ignorant enough to believe that breaking a promise of marriage is like fraud is absurd.

    And, no, feminits are not trying to gain respect for women. They are simply destructive, in this case trying to greatly expand the freedom of women and curtailing their responsibilities.
  54. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    What these girls want are boyfriends, and campus hookup culture makes that increasingly difficult to get, so you get the Regret equals Rape project, which is about ending campus hookup culture.

    There are fewer men than women attending college now, and as the sex ratio continues to drift that way, men will more and more be in the a position to choose the women. When you have men doing the choosing and some of the women willing to put out on the chance of snaring a boyfriend, you end up with the hookup culture.

    If you want to end that you need to increase the number of men to even out the sex ratio. That way women can do the choosing and you can go back to the more customary sex in return for commitment situation. But we can’t do that because of the way primary schools are setup and run these days. So if you want to end hookups you have to punish people for engaging in them. You can’t punish the women, because of slut-shaming etc, so you punish the men. Or at least put the fear in them.

    Fundamentally, the Regret-Rape project is a conservative or even reactionary project. It comes wrapped in a bunch of silly progressive/liberal language, but it’s about reestablishing the connection between sex and relationships.

  55. The real problem is that marriage has pretty much been taken away from young adults as a real option for their sex lives. All of the women and probably half the men in college are ready for marriage but it is absolutely forbidden by our culture and young people know they will be cut off by parents financially and by most others socially.

    This situation is profoundly depraved.

    It is also financially counter intuitive.

    According to the college board’s website, the cost per year at Rice U. in Houstion is $56k per year, but if my daughter is married to another non-working student without a trust fund or money in the bank, she is eligible for over $53k in grants and scholarships.
    https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/college-university-search/rice-university

    As soon as a person marries, she instantly becomes impoverished because she can’t count parent incomes.

    Right now the best financial move a student can make is to marry straight out of high school or as soon as possible.

    So, delaying marriage costs young people money, and causes all kinds of emotional problems.

  56. Those micro-agressions are something that the administration at Washington and Lee is aware of. …

    I thought blacks had the monopoly on micro-aggressions. And perhaps other PoC* when blacks give permission. Now you tell me that 51% of the American population can now claim micro-aggressions by mixed up frat boys and the rest of the male race?

    *Vibrant Peoples of colors oppressed by The Man aka no good white crackers.

  57. It’s become a career path for many who would otherwise be employed doing something useful such as waitressing or working at Target. I wonder how much of the economy is diverted towards supporting the parasitic sectors and whether they’ll keep expanding forever. These conflicted types certainly are verbose; their lives as Harlequin romance novels. Apparently they have scads of time to devote to navel-gazing. The president himself seems to have a strange affection for somewhat-off type women. He has Jarrett, Rice and Powers running things for him and he’s put two dykey looking hunchbacks on the Supreme Court as though that was the best a country of 320 million could come up with. I won’t mention his wife as that would be in bad taste. We go from ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ to them being considered helpless and childlike victims-in-waiting depending on the way the wind is blowing that day. Men are all potential Svengalis. Perhaps the girls should live at home and just commute to school seeing as they are still too immature to live on their own at that age. Also, they should listen to their mothers and not get pie-faced drunk outside of their own home.

  58. Parents,

    Please tell your daughters to dial 911 for an ambulance if they have been raped and then file a police report asap. If they don’t choose to do that for whatever reason, then they need to STHU.

    Thank you,

    Sane Citizen

  59. A minor point but

    is there really 15 weeks worth of stuff to learn in Nepal?

    seems a bit narrow minded and unlike you Steve.

  60. Excellent analysis. A great addition to fine work already begun by Emily Yoffe.

    I hope Steve and others can find time to look at the Title IX “Dear Colleague” letter produced in 2011 by the federal government. Easy to find…just Google “Dear Colleague Letter.” This is the official playbook behind a lot of this campus sexual assault idiocy. It also reveals much about the arrogance and incoherence of these activists.

    I’d love to see Steve dive into this “policy guidance” document!

  61. The MSM makes a desperate attempt to continue to blame the UVa fraternity:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2014/12/19/gentlemanly-nonsense-from-frat-at-center-of-uva-sexual-assault-controversy/

    Long story short: an official calls for members to be “gentlemanly”.

    Yes, that’s the offense in its entirety.

    You really do have to read it to believe it.

  62. @ic1000
    Lots and lots of comments follow that linked article by 'Hot Piece of TSM' (she's active on Twitter).

    Per the theme of Buddwing's remarks quoted by Steve, here's the first one, by 'southerngirl2294', representative of many that follow:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I had something like this happen to me my freshman year, and a while later I started dating another guy. I eventually opened up to my boyfriend at the time about what had happened, explaining that I felt like I got raped, but at the same time I knew it wasn’t RAPE. He accused me of being the “girl who cried wolf” and broke up with me then and there, and then proceeded to tell the guy that raped-but-didn’t-rape-me-idk that I was going around telling people that he raped me (which I wasn’t, nobody knew that him and I had sex besides me, my big, and my later boyfriend). This is an issue that needs to somehow be addressed, because I know I’m not alone when I say that there’s nights where I just break down and cry because I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about sleeping with this guy 3 years later.
     
    'Hot Piece of TSM' replied,

    I’m sorry to hear that, and I definitely do think it’s an issue. You’re not alone. I’d really venture to say that most women have an experience like this. Maybe different details. But you didn’t say no. And you’re not mad at the guy, and don’t want him to get in trouble. But it left you feeling uncomfortable. I think starting a dialogue is the first step, but I don’t have any idea what the possible solution is.
     
    And 'marymalcolm' chimed in:

    Reading through this made my stomach twist. First off, I’m so sorry you went through this. All of you. Anyone who has gone through this. Blanket I’m sorry here. Second, this was not a case of rape’ish’ behavior, this was rape. With that being said, I’m not saying all rape should be treated equally. This guy doesn’t deserve to spend the next ten years of his life locked away in prison. He doesn’t deserve being branded a sexual predator for life. He does deserve to know that what he did was wholly unacceptable. Consent is not always actually saying the word ‘no.’ If a girl is lying there, not moving, not making eye-contact, she’s telling him no. He treated sex with her as if she were a hole in the wall and that’s definitely not sex, that’s rape.

    What makes me so sad is that there’s a big chance he was never told how unacceptable and awful this was. So that means there is a big chance it will happen again. Maybe not between them, but definitely with someone else. You ask what should be done about something like this, it should be talked about. The guy needs to be told what happened wasn’t right. Other people need to be told this behavior isn’t right. Until we all decide that this is definitely not right, it will keep happening. What sucks is I think we’ve all decided it, but we might still be afraid to actually say the words. I’m so glad you spoke out on here because it started a dialogue, but the next step and probably the most important is that he HAS to be made aware of what consent is and what it isn’t. Rape is sex without consent. This WAS rape.
     
    So much feminine ambiguity, doubt, and chattiness on display. These gals need to submit to the firm hand of an Andrea Dworkin or a Lauren Kozen, in order to be directed to the correct interpretation of events.

    I eventually opened up to my boyfriend …. He accused me of being the “girl who cried wolf” and broke up with me then and there

    Smart man!

  63. A very common element in these cases is that the accusers do not come forward for months (or sometimes, as in the case of Cosby, years or decades) later, after others convince her that what happened was “rape” and/or she sees the guy with another girl. Of course, this is no problem in our current who/whom system – it must be that the “survivor” had PTSD or was intimidated, etc. She is only trying to “save” the new girl from being “raped” like she was. This is why the supposed “preponderance of the evidence” standard is a lie – in a real courtroom, even under that relaxed standard, your burden would be impossible to meet if you delayed reporting for such a length of time. If I had an auto accident but waited 8 months to report the damage to my insurer, they would deny my claim. The actual standard in these kangaroo courts is “the accused is guilty unless he prove his innocence beyond a reasonable doubt”.

    If/when we ever get back to a real system of justice, this has to count very heavily against the credibility of the accuser. I’m pretty sure that if I were raped, I would know it pretty darn fast. Here’s a hint – if you were conscious throughout and you’re not sure right away whether or not you were raped, you weren’t raped. Accusations should have a shelf life similar to that of unrefrigerated seafood – they are best served very fresh and both start to stink pretty quick.

  64. @The Last Real Calvinist
    Great article. The following is particularly superb analysis, Steve, pithy and ringing true:

    We have inherited a masculine legal culture that is traditionally oriented toward coming to some kind of decision, such as guilty or not guilty. It’s in conflict with our current feminine therapeutic culture that is oriented toward talking for the sake of talking.
     
    It's no wonder there's so much confusion out there. The situation would be so much better if a few more people understood and respected the concept of chastity.

    BTW, I have to admit I lol'ed at both blue eyes lines.

    yes, Calvinist. I’m shocked when I hear what they teach in the high schools for “health”. It’s all about how to not get a disease or get pregnant. STAY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE is not in their curriculum. So many people think that message is unrealistic, but then I see scores of Indians and Chinese people living it out. I had an Indian boyfriend decades ago and he was committed to purity in his soul. I don’t think I realized at the time what a gem he was (he married an Indian woman a few years later). My Chinese and Korean roommates in college were all waiting for marriage (and made it). Why can’t we teach this any more?

    BTW, I wonder if it’s all white and black students that behave so loosely. Are any Asian students ever involved in any of these accusations?

    when it comes to “date-rape”, which is what we called it in the 80’s, it seems nothing has changed in the last 30 years. The feminists are just getting crazier and the girls are still getting broken hearts. We take down all the signs and the fences and then act surprised when some people walk on the lawn.

    • Replies: @Rapparee
    "STAY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE is not in their curriculum. So many people think that message is unrealistic, but then I see scores of Indians and Chinese people living it out... My Chinese and Korean roommates in college were all waiting for marriage (and made it)."

    If you're going to wait, it helps to have a rough ball-park idea of how long that wait will be, and to have confidence that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In those cultures, it's more acceptable for parents to help their children find mates (whether they want help or not). White American parents seem terrified that helping Junior find a prom date would be "meddling". Part of this is perhaps the laudable Western preference for love matches that has been around since the Middle Ages, but atomized and individualized postmodern culture has turbocharged the "hands-off" approach to an absurd extent. Orthodox blogger The Anti-Gnostic explained the problem better than I can:

    "An institution that puts collective effort into helping [people] raise good Orthodox families would have more appeal than an institution that tells you good bye and good luck with your individual praxis out there in the cruel World. To give a concrete example, we lecture our young people on Orthodox chastity and marriage. Then we send them out into a sex-saturated culture and tell them to postpone marriage and childbearing while they acquire marketable skills (going in debt to do so). After all this, they get put in head-to-head economic competition with prospective spouses, and the Church offers no respite. We should not be surprised when our children don't take us seriously, and freely exercise any of their dozens of options when they grow up and get to decide these things for themselves... Shouldn't we be as concerned with driving down the cost of family-rearing? That seems to be the sort of thing people are actually crying for. "
     
    Roman Catholics have the same problems. Homilists occasionally praise marriage as a vocation, but I've never seen any parish direct teenagers to a useful career counseling program that might help make that vocation a reality. Premarital sex and contraceptives are officially forbidden, but 90% of American bishops ceaselessly demand still more third-world immigration to further increase the cost of family formation. Some parishes in affluent neighborhoods do sponsor mixers for single twenty-something Catholic yuppies, which is good, but as Charles Murray noted, it's not the upper-middle-class who need help.
  65. The older culture, before The Pill and especially before penicillin, more-or-less automatically assumed that if young men and women spent too much time alone in a private place together, they’d inevitably get around to doing what comes naturally. Now that technology has eliminated the biological consequences of sex, society has forgotten about the emotional and psychological consequences. Consequently, parents no longer routinely warn their children against possible dangers. Boys should be warned that, “A woman who will have sex with you after having known you only a short while is probably at least a little bit crazy“, while girls need to understand that there is no good reason for going into a secluded, private place with a young man unless she is absolutely 100% certain that she definitely wants to have sex with him.

    My general impression is that we’re dealing with a lot of emotions of Biblical proportions — I’m reminded of the horrifying story in the Book of Genesis of Jacob’s daughter Dinah and Shechem, son of Hamor the Hivite — and our postmodern worldview is inadequate for thinking about them.

    That stuff still happens even in 21st-century America. A friend of mine once offered to tag along on an informal rape-revenge beat-down squad, but he was tangentially involved with someone else’s legal trouble at the time, and the other vigilantes didn’t want him to worsen it by joining the fray. With potential consequences that dire, it’s in everyone’s interests that false accusations not be thrown about casually.

  66. @NOTA
    A big problem here is the misuse of language, and the teaching of people to misuse the language. A bunch of young women in this discussion are learning to use the term "rape" for sex with morning-after regrets. This deprives those women of a way of describing what happened to them in a way that distinguishes it from genuine rape. If you have sex outside of a committed relationship very often, you are very likely to experience some morning-after regret, or feeling used, or whatever. That is a bad thing that is worth avoiding, and there are ways you can avoid it, like resolving not to sleep with anyone till you've been dating him for awhile and you both seem to want a relationship. But it has little to do with rape--no resolution on your part will help if the guy you're with forces you or drugs you or something. Similarly, the resolution to "the morning after, I realized he was a cad who just wanted into my pants" is "so I decided to have nothing more to do with him and to warn my friend about him." The resolution to "and then the bastard raped me" is to call the cops and get the bastard put in prison, where he belongs. Very different situations.

    The vast majority of women would, if they could choose, wait until they have extracted signs of commitment from a guy to have sex. The problem for many women is that the guy she really likes probably has lots of other sexual options, and if she tells him she wants to wait, he may make himself scarce and avail himself of those alternatives. Because women, particularly more attractive women, will be more attracted to guys with options, and conversely less attracted to guys who are too eager to commit to them, it is in the best interest of males to resist commitment to a woman, both from the standpoint of gaining maximum leverage in the relationship and maximizing her attraction to him. Traditional sexual mores gave the female an excuse for avoiding sex until commitment, but also made it less costly for a guy to pursue commitment. Feminists are waking up to the fact that post-feminist sexual relations entirely favor high-status males. They are trying to rectify that by taking aim at the “Haven Monhans” of the world, but their efforts will be almost entirely futile. Instead, like the cat-calling video, they will hit the low-status men, and maybe that is their intended target.

  67. Despite the blue eyes, she’s an unattractive horseface. And needless to say, a man would have to be a masochist to marry her.

    • Replies: @Art Deco
    She's handsome enough. She needs to find a real trade; she's wasting her life.
  68. One problem picking fights frat boys and college students in general is that these are typically people of some means. And if they are not, their parents are. That means that they are going to have quick access to a lawyer who will be in a position to manage their client and launch a civil suit later even if they cannot participate in the first round. They are probably smarter and more telegenic than average so they are good advocates whereas many whereas the hormonal and emotional wrecks that are the false accusers are not. Also, even if Jackie does not have two dimes to rub together (I am assuming she is over 18 and her parents are paying for her schooling too) the schools will end up being the real targets because they have the deep pockets.

    Another angle on this is that the people who are falsely accused do not ‘go away’ in the sense that the feminists and liberal establishment has made an enemy for life. The more these guys raise awareness, which is inevitable, the less credible and the more difficult it will be to pull this in the future. The internet has made the world a smaller place and feminism seems to be playing their last card and there won’t be a new deal until this game is finished.

  69. Lauren Kozak is a lawyer looking for a niche and pioneering one We graduate too many lawyers these days so securing a niche is all important. A niche means you are valuable to certain (paying) people no matter how how screwy the cause. Because in the end “its all about gettin’ paid” preferably by Gov’t in some way or by the .Edu establishment many of which are Gov’t funded

    Via LinkedIn
    Lauren Kozak

    Title IX Coordinator and Assistant Director of Career Development at Washington and Lee University

    Roanoke, Virginia Area
    Higher Education

    Previous

    Washington and Lee University,
    Kirkland & Ellis LLP law firm

    Education

    Pepperdine University School of Law

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    When I was at UCLA MBA school, I shared a rent-controlled Santa Monica apartment with a fellow who just graduated from Pepperdine Law, although he and his best friend seem to have spent most of those three years at the Dume Room, a bar at Pt. Dume, that sounds like a heavy-handed metaphor from a late Eagles song.
    , @Marty
    There's a story there that she was hired by K&E out of Pepperdine law, which is a fourth tier school. I wonder if her parents are some kind of big deal in D.C.
  70. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Women are emotional train wrecks. They want equality, they want to be treated like adults, they want to be able to have sex as often and with whoever they want, just like men, but when they do and later regret it or the guy they get all weak and squishy over later gets a new girlfriend then by God it was RAPE! They don’t even have words to describe how they feel. They have to invent an entirely new language to describe not-rape. I wanted it, he wanted it, I said yes, I enjoyed it, he didn’t sweep me off my feet and marry me, I later regretted it, RAPE! Even the discussions women have amongst themselves, trying to twist it into rape, trying to brainwash themselves into believing it, are mind boggling. What leaps of illogic and nonsense. And they want us to treat them seriously? They need serious psychological help and medication. As I posted on Dalrock men need to secretly video tape all encounters with women that may or may not lead to sex, so that months or years later when the woman is now rewriting the past out of regret or spite the man can clear his name by demonstrating in court that the encounter was most definitely consensual.

    • Replies: @HA
    "Women are emotional train wrecks."

    I get the feeling you're no prize yourself, cupcake.

    "As I posted on Dalrock men need to secretly video tape all encounters with women that may or may not lead to sex..."

    Case in point. And I'm guessing you'll want to upload and save a copy of all your porn-selfies to the Cloud. That way, you limit the chances that your current girlfriend (cough, cough) will run across them (though even if she does, you can simply explain - or mansplain, if you insist - that the stash is only there for both your legal protection and hers, and that she should be grateful for your foresight and sagacity). And nothing ever happens to anything that is saved on the Cloud. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong with that approach?

  71. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Some people are capable of having genuinely no-strings-attached sex, with no more emotional connection with their bedmate than they’d have with the stranger they sat beside at the lunch counter and passed the salt to.

    A lot of other people like the idea of no-strings-attached sex, and might think they’re participating in it, but they end up feeling used and dishonored, and without the language to talk about it satisfactorily.

    He was terrible, did not even bother to kiss me for more than a few seconds, and finished in about five minutes, after which he simply walked out of the room and did not return … Also, I accidentally left my favorite pair of earrings … when I texted him this fact, he responded with “I will leave them outside of the building for you”

    That is the tersely bitter send-off of one pissed and deeply wounded woman. Don’t let the whimsical snarkiness and slut empowerment pose fool you.

    • Replies: @NOTA
    Right. Her complaint is completely reasonable. It's just that her terminology is wrong--the term for someone who does that is not "rapist," it's "cad." He wanted to get into her pants but didn't give a damn about her as a human being. That's neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave. She doesn't need to call the police, she just needs to spread the word about what a jerk he is among her dorm-mates.
  72. It would be more fitting if the reason given for the Washington and Lee expulsion were “ungentlemanly behavior.”

  73. I’ve got a great new feminist catchphrase: “Yes means no!”

    I hope it catches on.

    • Replies: @Jonathan Silber
    I’ve got a great new feminist catchphrase: “Yes means no!”

    Or maybe "Yes means Whatever."
  74. So they were both scheduled to go to Nepal for an entire semester (is there really 15 weeks worth of stuff to learn in Nepal?) and she didn’t want to go with him what with him having a girlfriend, so she had expelled. Or at least that’s what the lawsuit claims.

    Forget learning. Women get turned on by travel so that’s 15 weeks of romance and hooking up in far off Nepal. Some of it with the natives. I am sure the young Nepalese dudes of color look forward to these pointless seminars abroad

  75. No one else is concerned with the possible incest angle?

    “John Doe claims that twice, he had consensual sex with a student identified in the lawsuit as Jane Doe.”

    • Replies: @Danindc
    Johnnygeo ftw!
  76. [A] remedies-based would be anything that can help remedy the effects without doing discipline against the respondent… that can include anything from change in housing, some academic accommodations, perhaps even a no-contact directive between the parties.”

    This was the perfect situation to settle with a remedies based approach. The immediate problem was the excursion to Nepal. That could have been addressed and likely solved with an informal meeting. It was a small group and ‘love gone bad’ is sufficient to work something out without going into every detail.

    And, if they had both gone to Nepal — call me a cynic — but she would have had more consensual sex with John Doe. How do I know? Ha. Ha. Speculation.

    Meanwhile, Frat Boy has a good lawyer.

    Look for this to be settled sooner, rather than latter. They don’t want this to go before a jury.

  77. Solomon had the right idea. If university were to expel any student who has sex in college, consensual or not, we would quickly see a resolution.

  78. “Kozak ‘regret equals rape.’” I’m skeptical she said something that bald-faced.

    If they would state this outright, boys could regret as well. What if both sides regret the sex they had? Mutual rape?

  79. Lots of salacious details ensue which you can look up for yourself, either in the news story or in the court filing. Keep in mind that we don’t have anybody else’s side of the story. The college inquiry was done in star chamber with no public records.

    That’s just one of the scary aspects of these tribunals. If you make a list of traditional protections such as due process, public trial, strict evidentiary standards and right to counsel, you’ll notice that they are all absent. If you’re accused, you have no practical means to defend yourself. This is like Stalinist or Idi Amin type justice.

    I don’t know how the federal government can justify this kind of abuse of basic civil rights, much less promote it, but that’s exactly what we have come to.

    Some may say “there’s no right to a college education” (although they’d probably say the opposite when it comes to protected groups), but these days being expelled from college is tantamount to being permanently banished from the middle class. And in case people haven’t noticed, being working class is getting worse and worse every year.

    Also, there’s nothing benign about our good looking, blue-eyed Title IX enforcer. This represents a handy way for the daughters and wives of the wealthy to get paid for shoving the sons of the less fortunate out of contention. It’s horrible that our federal government mandates these commissars, and even worse that we have to pay for their existence.

    • Replies: @Hard Line Realist
    I am surprised that this has not gone to the Supremes as unconstitutional.
    , @Marty T
    Our tax dollars pay for the Dept. of Education, which is in charge of these witch hunts. Eliminate that (as many conservatives claim to want) and this goes away. Only support GOP candidates in favor of cutting useless (or harmful) government agencies with the dept of education the #1 priority.
  80. What’s the difference between Lauren Kozen and the late Andrea Dworkin? Not much other than attractiveness, they both … wait for it … wait for it … HATE HATE HATE Beta Males.

    And the whole regret = rape thing, which HAS been promulgated by feminists and “non-feminists” who are women alike, is tied into two factors driving younger women (those desired by men) into rage:

    1. Beta Males “not knowing their place.” You see this in the UM guidelines for sexual assault, including “unwanted staring” akin to some nerdy guy asking a woman out for coffee in an elevator.

    2. A shortage of desirable Alpha Males, defined as men whose status is higher than most women with charisma, charm, aloof cocky/funny indifference and success with women. Thus women have to SHARE and they are filled with rage on this matter.

    Sadly, Gerald Ford is dead wrong. There is fraternization, but it seems in the modern world to only increase female rage.

    At least part of the POWER of female rage is the obesity epidemic — women have more power if they are even marginally attractive because so many are FAT! Thus in the sexual and the social marketplace, women wield far more power than they used to, even twenty years ago, under loosened moral codes regarding sex.

    Nothing is going to get rolled back to sanity. Campuses will only get worse, where beta male after beta male is expelled for “looking at” some coed in scanty, revealing clothing in the hot months of August/Sept. Alpha males unwisely dumping a girl for another hotter one, will also be punished as regret = rape is now the defacto law of the land in Universities. Men are likely to abandon physical campuses for online stuff, or degrees altogether, which is exactly what feminists and women want anyway, with only the most charming, most Alpha, most irresistable staying at physical locations.

    Or those exempt from charges by race and status: Black Scholarship Athletes.

    Lauren Kozak looks like a respectable, attractive late thirties blonde and blue eyed woman … who seems by action to have sided with the White Male Purge on campus. Tell me again how preferable Obama was to McCain or Romney? Neither would have been this bad with the White Male Purge.

    The only real weapon White guys have is the fitness movement — have the fatties drop weight to become more attractive and the social/sexual power of the thin attractive women becomes diluted by numbers. You see less of this insanity play out because there is no power to it.

    Finally, the sort of emotional roller coaster is standard equipment with women. Pretty much all women who are pre-menopausal act this way if society will allow it. Women love riding their feelings, talking about their feelings, and punishing those White guys who make them feel certain ways (not always bad feelings either) … lack of restraint on female sex/cultural power merely allows full exhibition on the way women under the age of say, 50 act on an everyday basis without children and a husband to worry about and constrain emotions.

  81. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Former Kenyon College student sues college and 2 former students for defamation/false rape case:

    http://kenyoncollegian.com/2014/12/11/pretrial-for-lawsuit-against-kenyon/

    The trial in the civil suit that former Kenyon student Stephen Zingarelli brought last year against the College and two former students has been continued to summer 2015. After a pretrial hearing this past Monday, Dec. 8, the Knox County Common Pleas Court scheduled a jury trial — originally planned for April 7 — for July 28, 2015.

    In December of 2013, Zingarelli sued the College, a student who accused him of sexual assault and a Sexual Misconduct Advisor (SMA) on 14 counts, including breach of contract, negligence and defamation. Zingarelli alleged that his accuser made a false report of sexual assault, that, as an SMA, Ellen Kaufman ’13 encouraged her to destroy evidence and that Kenyon was negligent in training Kaufman and mishandled its Student Conduct Review Board process as outlined in the Student Handbook.

    “There are issues here that aren’t typical, aren’t easily resolved,” Judge Otho Eyster said. “This case is only a year old, so this [the continuance] is not unusual.”

    Zingarelli was acquitted on charges of rape and gross sexual imposition on June 26, 2013. He applied for readmission to the College on or around October 1, 2013 to complete his final semester and was told he “would be readmitted subject to the outcome of a Student Conduct Review Board hearing,” according to the plaintiff’s pretrial statement filed Dec. 1, 2014.

    In the statement, attorneys for Zingarelli claim that in December 2012 “based on the counsel of Dean of Students Henry Toutain, Stephen was duped into believing he had no option but to ‘voluntarily’ withdraw from Kenyon. Since his constructive expulsion, Stephen’s official academic transcript has included a notation, ‘student conduct charges pending.’”

    Zingarelli claims the notation on his transcript has prevented him from being admitted to another university. The statement also claims Zingarelli’s faculty advisor for the planned Student Conduct hearing — Associate Professor of Political Science Tim Spiekerman — told Zingarelli that, as the statement put it, “it would be very difficult for Stephen — or any other male student — to prevail at a Student Conduct Review Board Hearing in a case alleging sexual misconduct.”

    more…

  82. @Clyde
    Lauren Kozak is a lawyer looking for a niche and pioneering one We graduate too many lawyers these days so securing a niche is all important. A niche means you are valuable to certain (paying) people no matter how how screwy the cause. Because in the end "its all about gettin' paid" preferably by Gov't in some way or by the .Edu establishment many of which are Gov't funded


    Via LinkedIn
    Lauren Kozak

    Title IX Coordinator and Assistant Director of Career Development at Washington and Lee University

    Roanoke, Virginia Area
    Higher Education

    Previous

    Washington and Lee University,
    Kirkland & Ellis LLP law firm

    Education

    Pepperdine University School of Law

    When I was at UCLA MBA school, I shared a rent-controlled Santa Monica apartment with a fellow who just graduated from Pepperdine Law, although he and his best friend seem to have spent most of those three years at the Dume Room, a bar at Pt. Dume, that sounds like a heavy-handed metaphor from a late Eagles song.

  83. @val
    Despite the blue eyes, she's an unattractive horseface. And needless to say, a man would have to be a masochist to marry her.

    She’s handsome enough. She needs to find a real trade; she’s wasting her life.

  84. Something George Will said a generation ago: society gets a drizzle of dumb little laws when it neglects the big wise laws.

  85. @Hippopotamusdrome
    ancestry.com
    Kozak Name Meaning
    Ukrainian, Polish, Sorbian, Czech, Slovak (Kozák), and Hungarian (Kozák): ethnic name for a Cossack

    Kozak Name Meaning
    Ukrainian, Polish, Sorbian, Czech, Slovak (Kozák), and Hungarian (Kozák): ethnic name for a Cossack

    Ain’t her name.

    First, there’s another Lauren Kozak out there, who based on her Twitter picture is my kind of hottie:

    Then there’s our Lauren Kozak, nee Park.

    http://law.pepperdine.edu/news-events/news/2008/08/laurenamy.htm

    So Lauren Park, pretty WASPy sort of a name.

  86. @The most deplorable one
    Steve, I think you are raising an important issue and stumbling towards an enlightenment.

    The high-speed destruction of behavioral norms that function to ensure that both males and females approached sexual behavior in a manner that was not going to lead to severe emotional issues later in life is not a good thing. Those behavioral norms evolved over a long period of time and they respect innate psychological predispositions of males and females.

    I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.

    Of course, there are some males who do regard the pair bond as a very important thing. Witness all those men who have been married for a long time. Even Obama believes in appearances, it seems.

    I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.

    Your comment reminded me of this broadcast ad. Talk about unhinged:

    Summer’s Eve – Hail to the “V” commercial – extended cut

  87. So then the proper language for a feminist to use in a situation such as this would be?

    “I was regretted”

  88. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    But they made plans, such as sewing the young people into sacks so all they could do is cuddle. We don’t make realistic plans anymore.

    We non-Amish still do make these sorts of realistic plans. See dry humping, frottage, Princeton rubs, Ivy League rubs, etc:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_humping#Frottage

    Frottage is the general term for the act of rubbing any part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs and sexual organs against the sexual organ of another person; this is done whether naked or clothed and is more commonly known as dry humping or dry sex.[20] When frottage includes genital-genital rubbing, it is sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing.[20]

    Couples may engage in frottage as a form of foreplay or simply as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal or oral sexual intercourse, which may be a way of preserving virginity[7][8] or a way of practicing safe sex.[11] Often, young people will engage in frottage as an earlier stage of physical intimacy before more explicit contact is desired.

    Other terms associated with frottage are:

    Princeton rub, Ivy League rub, and so on are slang terms referring to male-male frot or intercrural sex or both, presumably surviving from the days when these colleges only admitted men.[21] W. H. Auden was proud of having been the first person to use the terms Princeton rub and Princeton first-year in print

  89. Anonymous [AKA "Manti Te\'o\'s Girlfriend"] says:
    @Haven Monahan
    I graduated from Washington and Lee Law school in 1992. Great institution; lots of good people there. It's certainly no bastion of liberalism -- or at least it wasn't when I was there. General Lee's buried on the campus, for Chrissake -- and so is his horse.

    That said, I hope John Doe really rings the bell with his lawsuit.

    Can I get your number?

  90. Another angle on this is that the people who are falsely accused do not ‘go away’ in the sense that the feminists and liberal establishment has made an enemy for life.

    -Prof. Wolland

    That’s right. And there will be more enemies – many more – as a result of this Title IX abuse of power.

  91. “[And] there are probably women on this campus who have been raped and don’t even know it”

    if a women is rapped and doesn’t even know it then maybe your definition of rape is too broad? I’ve been kicked in the nuts before and knew it every time it happened, just sayin.

  92. The concept of “microaggressions,” the twisting of language, the de facto declaration that real social science is taboo, the idea that we should believe that persons are whatever they say they are – it seems that the ability to reason in multiple generations of university students is being systematically damaged. I’m sure that the more intelligent and cynical ones are learning that lying and manipulation are the true paths to success.

    I hope things aren’t really as bad as they seem.

  93. http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/it-should-never-be-too-late-to-tell-your-story-of-rape-14-years-later-this-is-mine/2014/12/18/e596a6e2-771a-11e4-a755-e32227229e7b_story.html?wpisrc=nl-pmopns&wpmm=1

    It should never be too late to tell your story of rape. 14 years later, this is mine.

    Abigail Hauslohner is The Washington Post’s Cairo bureau chief.

    Steve, did you see this one?

    • Replies: @Flip
    It doesn't sound like rape to me.
  94. @SPMoore8
    Very nice analysis and there is certainly something women want in these matters, and it is clearly not criminal prosecution or sanction (it appears that few of these claimed sexual assaults would meet a criminal standard in any case.) Honor? Revenge? A Ring? This goes back to the Clark and Michigan standards of "sexual assault" and "coercion" discussed earlier.

    Also a very good point about the lack of an appropriate vocabulary, however the number of "sexual assaults" = "rapes" -- I note in passing -- appears to be rising to 1/4 at this point.

    Speaking of vocabulary, the article quotes the following: "ostracization". Whatever happened to "ostracism"? Someone please call the language police.

    If the more relaxed Title IX standards gain ground, I would imagine that the net result will be fewer men on campus, if the current ratio is 60/40 women over men (as I have heard), then we may soon reach a tipping point where college will essentially become a "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" arena in which women talk about their problems, while men prefer to solve them. Needless to say it will also cause the few remaining men who are actually going to college to gravitate to local women who are not attending college, or women attending other colleges. That would nip the problem in the bud.

    However, in any college setting, if the men stop attending, then it is very likely the women will stop attending as well. I don't think a person like Jackie (or the W&L woman above) would be very interested in attending a college where it was understood that the men on campus were absolutely off-limits for sexual activity (with the crucial and/or of commitment, with all that that entails.)

    “However, in any college setting, if the men stop attending, then it is very likely the women will stop attending as well. I don’t think a person like Jackie (or the W&L woman above) would be very interested in attending a college where it was understood that the men on campus were absolutely off-limits for sexual activity (with the crucial and/or of commitment, with all that that entails.)”

    Where I went to college, the funnier female students called it “getting their M-R-S degree.”

    A few that I “knew” (before their husbands did!) were successful at that, and went on to very profitable lives as “Mrs.” so-and-so, married to male graduates.

    I think one or two of those guys may have no idea…

    • Replies: @smurfette
    Tangential: I once started a firestorm on an internet forum by mentioning college was a great place to find a marriage partner. I have never again been surrounded by so many eligible men as I was in college, and I easily found a sweet nerdy type to marry shortly after graduation (without needing to deal with the hook up go round and all that entailed). Apparently, this is an inappropriate reason to pursue higher education, even as a secondary goal.

    There's this weird double standard where if women want marriage and motherhood, they aren't supposed to pursue that with any kind of seriousness, unless you want a Lean In approved Supportive Husband. If you aren't supposed to pursue a serious relationship, there's naught else to do BUT hook up, particularly with all the cultural pressure toward early, frequent, promiscuous sexual activity.

    I often felt like telling my female classmates that it was totally normal and healthy to want to find a nice fellow, settle down, and have some babies, but all our parents treated this like it was damn near pathological. I think a lot of girls drank before parties and hook ups to silence their own inner voice that said this was a bad idea.
    , @SPMoore8
    Yes, I am familiar with the "MRS" degree but I preferred not to put it that way. There are also a number of male graduate students who marry a working wife or homemaker wife so they can concentrate on their dissertations, that would be "PhT" (instead of PhD) for "pull hubby though."

    It's fairly obvious to anyone who has any exposure to higher education that good segment of the population is looking for a spouse (in addition to whatever they are studying.) And I would suggest that even today a good percentage of such couples are joined at the hip early in their college careers and do in fact get married, etc. etc.

    However, I don't see men demanding certain behaviors from women. I do see women's groups, and rape awareness groups, etc. demanding certain behaviors from men; again, witness the Clark and Michigan standards quoted in one of my prior posts (which came from a Colorado at Boulder analysis.) Those behavioral demands on men, in turn, do in fact imply that a certain -- vocal if not majority -- segment of college women do in fact want a return to an older, more negotiated sexual morality.

    I can understand why people would want to say that that is not so, and that the level of sexual assault is at an alltime high, etc. But how else can you explain things like the Clark and Michigan standards otherwise, without an implied agenda for older formulas of sexual morality?
  95. @Rob
    Oh god, the micro-aggressions are here. Let me guess, looking at a girl's behind is a sexual micro-aggression. An unattractive guy asking a girl on a date is a sexual micro-aggression. A wolf whistle? Oh my god!

    I used to think the Anti-Sex League was one of the least believable things in 'Nineteen Eighty-Four', but these lesbian tyrants are making me think again.

    Dude, a hot guy turning some unattractive chick ‘s date request down is the real microaggression.

  96. Has anyone yet mentioned (in connection with the Rolling Stone Gang Rape Hoax) the Israeli Jewish girl who cried “rape” when she found out her nice Jewish boy was actually a nice Arab Muslim boy? And took it to court? And got a conviction?

    That seems to stand far above any other “buyer’s remorse is rape” story, but I don’t recall anyone mentioning it yet, in this context.

    Was the pearl necklace reference intentional? Did that slang even exist 35 years ago?

    I know for a fact it existed 28 years ago, give or take. When did ZZ top release their song?

    The history of whites going after blacks who slept with white women has been mentioned repeatedly. But I don’t know of any whites who convicted a “black” passing for a white who slept with a white woman, only after discovering he had n-words in his woodpile.

    • Replies: @SPMoore8
    No one has yet mentioned the case of the Jerusalem Arab who had sex with a Jewish woman who was convicted and sentenced to prison, but I don't know if it's terribly relevant.

    http://www.jpost.com/National-News/Court-cuts-Arab-Israeli-rape-by-deception-sentence

    The story was that he pretended to be a single Jew looking for a relationship so they had casual sex and then when he just left she fingered him for rape. When the story first broke, there was a whiff of racism in the accusation, but that appears to have dissipated. Now it looks more like a "breach of promise of marriage."

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were "passing", that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kip_Rhinelander

    It's funny and disgusting at the same time. Here's a copy of the photo (which was an early example of photo retouching) that was widely published in newspapers.

    http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-341054
  97. Ok then, maybe new word should be “Regrape”

    and add new phrases to the language:

    If even though she didn’t want to in her mind, but her “body’ responded and there was lubrication then she had

    regrape juice

    If her “assailant” first “regraped” her from the front then changed her position for rear entry then there was a

    regrape turnover

    If she complains about her regrape to her friends, “waaaah”, but the circumstances seem dubious to them then that would called

    regrape whine (if she was menstruating, then of course, red regrape whine)

    If 9 frat boys “pulled the train” on her and the next day she wishes to regret it due to the count of guys then that could be called

    a bunch of regrapes (and the university would handle a case of regrapes)

    If other students find out about her regrape and then take to social media to pick on her then those insensitive louts would be

    regrape pickers

    With the high number of these cases emerging because of 3 out every 2 coeds experiencing this form of sexual assault on campus, the crush of the workload on university administrations would be called

    regrape jam

    • Replies: @elmer
    I coined that word on heartiste today. Please confer credit where due. Let's be professional Mark. While it is possible that multiple commentators came to the same research conclusion independently, for those of us who live and die by our online attention-whoring these small meme creations are hugely important.
  98. I wish Steve would perform an exegesis of the Title IX “Dear Colleague” letter–a 20-page document that provides the playbook for much of the rape culture campus activism.”

  99. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Steve, this is ultimately about women countering the “sneaky fucker strategy”, which has become more common recently. The whole Roissy/Heartiste/PUA sphere is about teaching young men how to deploy the “sneaky fucker strategy”.

    http://jasoncollins.org/2014/01/08/the-origin-of-the-phrase-sneaky-fcker/

    When low-status males have no chance of accessing females via traditional routes such as fighting or signalling their prowess, they may attempt more deceptive means of getting a mate.

  100. @The most deplorable one
    Steve, I think you are raising an important issue and stumbling towards an enlightenment.

    The high-speed destruction of behavioral norms that function to ensure that both males and females approached sexual behavior in a manner that was not going to lead to severe emotional issues later in life is not a good thing. Those behavioral norms evolved over a long period of time and they respect innate psychological predispositions of males and females.

    I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.

    Of course, there are some males who do regard the pair bond as a very important thing. Witness all those men who have been married for a long time. Even Obama believes in appearances, it seems.

    and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.

    I don’t think you understand this notching business.

  101. @Anonymous
    Women are emotional train wrecks. They want equality, they want to be treated like adults, they want to be able to have sex as often and with whoever they want, just like men, but when they do and later regret it or the guy they get all weak and squishy over later gets a new girlfriend then by God it was RAPE! They don't even have words to describe how they feel. They have to invent an entirely new language to describe not-rape. I wanted it, he wanted it, I said yes, I enjoyed it, he didn't sweep me off my feet and marry me, I later regretted it, RAPE! Even the discussions women have amongst themselves, trying to twist it into rape, trying to brainwash themselves into believing it, are mind boggling. What leaps of illogic and nonsense. And they want us to treat them seriously? They need serious psychological help and medication. As I posted on Dalrock men need to secretly video tape all encounters with women that may or may not lead to sex, so that months or years later when the woman is now rewriting the past out of regret or spite the man can clear his name by demonstrating in court that the encounter was most definitely consensual.

    “Women are emotional train wrecks.”

    I get the feeling you’re no prize yourself, cupcake.

    “As I posted on Dalrock men need to secretly video tape all encounters with women that may or may not lead to sex…”

    Case in point. And I’m guessing you’ll want to upload and save a copy of all your porn-selfies to the Cloud. That way, you limit the chances that your current girlfriend (cough, cough) will run across them (though even if she does, you can simply explain – or mansplain, if you insist – that the stash is only there for both your legal protection and hers, and that she should be grateful for your foresight and sagacity). And nothing ever happens to anything that is saved on the Cloud. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong with that approach?

  102. The best thing a white college boy can do dating wise is to avoid dating women in college at all costs. Go find as one poster said, a nice blue collar girl.

    Let the college harpies rot. There is only downside with them.

  103. @Bill P

    Lots of salacious details ensue which you can look up for yourself, either in the news story or in the court filing. Keep in mind that we don’t have anybody else’s side of the story. The college inquiry was done in star chamber with no public records.
     
    That's just one of the scary aspects of these tribunals. If you make a list of traditional protections such as due process, public trial, strict evidentiary standards and right to counsel, you'll notice that they are all absent. If you're accused, you have no practical means to defend yourself. This is like Stalinist or Idi Amin type justice.

    I don't know how the federal government can justify this kind of abuse of basic civil rights, much less promote it, but that's exactly what we have come to.

    Some may say "there's no right to a college education" (although they'd probably say the opposite when it comes to protected groups), but these days being expelled from college is tantamount to being permanently banished from the middle class. And in case people haven't noticed, being working class is getting worse and worse every year.

    Also, there's nothing benign about our good looking, blue-eyed Title IX enforcer. This represents a handy way for the daughters and wives of the wealthy to get paid for shoving the sons of the less fortunate out of contention. It's horrible that our federal government mandates these commissars, and even worse that we have to pay for their existence.

    I am surprised that this has not gone to the Supremes as unconstitutional.

  104. From talking to my father, the dating market has really changed over the generations. My dad dated women that were within his social circle or at least was an acquaintance. They married young. I know fraternity guys that have slept with 50+ women just within the four years of college. There personalities match the description of the guy suing for false rape accusations. I also know plenty of guys who barely got laid at all in college. With the new found freedom that women have within the mores of the college environment, they will always often chase these players despite their better judgment. To put it more succinctly, they’d rather play the lottery that they’d wrangle a player than go for the good odds of a guy that was more reliable. In my dads day, even the players had comparably more relationships and less hookups. So in effect, it’s become a winner take all market. Lots of different girls spend their college years chasing a select few guys that they falsely believed they had a chance with. (Due to men’s greater ability to pump and dump.) They were the dump. Some women aren’t emotionally equipped to handle that kind of environment and have extreme regrets.

    • Replies: @Hell_Is_Like_Newark
    Several years ago, my elderly parents visited my wife and I. We took them to Manhattan for dinner. Walking past the bars my Dad made the following observation:

    Table after table had groups of young women sitting together. My Dad commented that in his day, that was rare to see. On a Friday or Saturday night, the tables would be filed with young men and women sitting together.

    His conclusion was the young have more sex but far fewer relationships. The latter is causing high status women to delay or forgo children (few high IQ women become single moms) much to the detriment of society as a whole.
  105. @Another Canadian

    This doesn’t make much sense, except in Buddwing’s framework of the girls wanting to feel that their honor has been restored by society.
     
    Shotgun weddings were a traditional means of restoring honor.

    Shotgun weddings were generally reserved for girls who became pregnant. Of course, without contraception, this would be most of them who were having sex, sooner or later.

    What the people who are talking about restoring pre-1968 or Victorian or Christian, etc. morals are forgetting is that birth control (and the ability of women to support themselves and their children and/or be supported by the government) has changed everything. Once you take pregnancy and the prospect of having to beg on the streets out of the equation, that completely changes the risk/reward calculus for sex.

  106. NYT Layoffs: VERY INTERESTING!!!! But alas not very surprising

    Of the approx dozen by-line names attached to articles that involved in anyway the UVA rape hoax. I see that only one Ariel Kaminer, the NYT’s higher education beat reporter is being let go.

    http://www.capitalnewyork.com/article/media/2014/12/8558880/new-york-times-layoffs-watch-2014#names
    http://www.capitalnewyork.com/article/media/2014/12/8556472/emnew-york-timesem-buyout-watch-2014#names

    Ariel Kaminer wrote one article that tangentially mentioned the UVA rape.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/02/nyregion/princeton-eating-club-ousts-2-officers-over-emails-ridiculing-women.html?_r=0

    What is really interesting that Kaminer’s article concerns the rights of the accused in campus sexual assault cases!!!!!

    New Factor in Campus Sexual Assault Cases: Counsel for the Accused

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/20/nyregion/new-factor-in-campus-sexual-assault-cases-counsel-for-the-accused.html

    As the Columbia University student tells it, the encounter was harmless fun: A female freshman invited him into her suite bathroom, got a condom, took off her clothes and had sex with him. But as that young woman later described it to university officials, the encounter was not consensual. The university suspended him for a year.

    He felt the outcome was unjust, but he did not know what to do about it. His lawyer, Andrew Miltenberg of Manhattan, did.

    Invoking Title IX, the federal gender-equality statute that is typically used to protect the rights of female students, he sued Columbia, saying his client had been “discriminated against on the basis of his male sex.”

    Please read the rest.

    So it looks like the one NYT writer who wrote a straight forward article concerning itself with the “counter narrative” of the rights the accused in college sexual assault cases and the possibility of “reverse discrimination?” is out of a job.

    The rest of the ten or so NYT “journalists” who stuck to the party line concerning the UVA Rolling Stone rape hoax apparently are still employed.

    Is anyone surprised????

  107. The concept of “microaggressions,” the twisting of language, the de facto declaration that real social science is taboo, the idea that we should believe that persons are whatever they say they are

    It’s all an illusion. The illusion of leftist principles. They’re all fodder for “who-whom?” If the “microaggressions” against me don’t fit The Narrative, then I get who-whomed; I’m the one “aggressing.” If leftists see something from real social science that supports The Narrative, then it’s good social science. If I say I’m something that isn’t leftism-approved, no one should believe me because who-whom.

    If America didn’t have such a puritanical faith based view of looking at sensual issues of intimacy we wouldn’t have these types of problems

    Maybe it’s Talmudic.

    A minor point but

    is there really 15 weeks worth of stuff to learn in Nepal?

    seems a bit narrow minded and unlike you Steve.

    Let’s put it this way; how many better places to visit for 15 weeks can you come up with, given a day or so to ruminate? I can probably name a couple hundred in five minutes.

    Smart man!

    He was already looking for an excuse.

    Despite the blue eyes, she’s an unattractive horseface.

    Overdone, but yes, she’s got a bit of horse-face going. And a bit of crazy chick, too. As someone else pointed out, she’s okay. Smiling photos are a bad way to judge a person’s looks.

    Forget learning. Women get turned on by travel so that’s 15 weeks of romance and hooking up in far off Nepal. Some of it with the natives

    Nepal has got to be very close to the bottom of the barrel in terms of meeting that criteria.

    If they would state this outright, boys could regret as well. What if both sides regret the sex they had? Mutual rape?

    So, any guy in college should just report regret-rape to campus authorities after every sexual encounter, to head off any trouble down the line. Get there first, and all that.

    peterike2 says:
    December 19, 2014 at 7:43 pm GMT

    Another sucker for the freckles, eh?

  108. The required advice is simple: “Get thee to a nunnery”.

  109. This speculation about Title IX going away is a daydream. Libertarians lose their shit ocer pot laws and borders but become squishy central planners if you point out how the Civil Rights Act is contrary to individual liberty.

    Look for the same mental gymnastics regatdind Title IX.

  110. OK. I can keep going on these “regrape” phrases

    If the girls are entirely bitter about it

    Sour Regrapes

    and very very angry

    Regrapes of Wrath

    Stories in the media about regrape

    Regrape Press

    An enterprising geek could create an app for frat boys to take little short videos of the regrape and post them to web

    Regrape Vines

    And thus the gossip about particular cases

    “I heard it through the regrape vine”

    Abbreviations could be used in case files about the circumstances surround the regrape. If the girl was “violated in the night out on grass in front of the frat house” then the file would show the acronymic abbreviation

    Regrape, vinyard

    If the violation occurred “in daytime” and the assailant was one of those adherents to “Always Be Recording” and caught the whole act “entirely on camera” then the file would show

    Regrape, videocamera

    In the case of Jackie Uva

    Regrape, glass

    If the girls are entirely bitter about it

    Sour Regrapes

    and very very angry

    Regrapes of Wrath

  111. Once again Steve Sailer and his comment section scoops the rest of the Conservative media by a couple of days.

    http://dailycaller.com/2014/12/19/illridewithyou-was-even-more-fraudulent-than-i-thought/
    http://humanevents.com/2014/12/19/another-media-too-good-to-check-fail-the-illridewithyou-hoax/

    But of course they forget to credit Steve.

  112. @OsRazor
    "Part of the genius of what the Obama Administration has been up to is converting the promotion of Rape Culture hysteria from the demented obsession of Andrea Dworkin-style she-beasts into a sensible professional career path for tasteful-string-of-pearls young ladies like Ms. Kozak."

    There's no "genius" or act by Obama about anything in this regard. Things are just falling into place for him. These not Dworkin looking women are the products of the university system of the 80s and 90s when this garbage first started and that system was hugely influenced by Dworkin types who accomplished two things, 1) created the "hook-up" culture that separated sex from any moral underpinning so that women too could have sex without strings attached (except that 99% of women can't enjoy sex that way, they need to be plastered to even engage in it) and 2) made women think that their natural regret for engaging in casual sex was not natural at all, had nothing to do with the women behaving in ways every cell in her body told her was wrong, but was the result of coercion or some other bad thing her male counterpart had done, i.e., rape. That 1) and 2) above are incompatible, inconsistent and insane is irrelevant. This is the mucked up world of most college coeds today and has been for decades. Demanding to act like a tramp, while furious at being treated like a tramp.

    In any sane White society, of course, women like Kozak would be wholly satisfied to be confident and wonderful mothers to a new generation of children with mesmerizing blue eyes, but instead she's wasting away convinced she's doing something important for someone, somewhere, sometime. (If Kozak has children, bravo! but I tend to doubt it--everything in her resume screams not.)

    Bingo.

    The ‘free love’ of the sixties is now a weapon in the hands of the hate mongering, male bashing, leftist lesbian culture … under the false front of ‘feminism’.

  113. @Svigor
    Has anyone yet mentioned (in connection with the Rolling Stone Gang Rape Hoax) the Israeli Jewish girl who cried "rape" when she found out her nice Jewish boy was actually a nice Arab Muslim boy? And took it to court? And got a conviction?

    That seems to stand far above any other "buyer's remorse is rape" story, but I don't recall anyone mentioning it yet, in this context.


    Was the pearl necklace reference intentional? Did that slang even exist 35 years ago?
     
    I know for a fact it existed 28 years ago, give or take. When did ZZ top release their song?

    The history of whites going after blacks who slept with white women has been mentioned repeatedly. But I don't know of any whites who convicted a "black" passing for a white who slept with a white woman, only after discovering he had n-words in his woodpile.

    No one has yet mentioned the case of the Jerusalem Arab who had sex with a Jewish woman who was convicted and sentenced to prison, but I don’t know if it’s terribly relevant.

    http://www.jpost.com/National-News/Court-cuts-Arab-Israeli-rape-by-deception-sentence

    The story was that he pretended to be a single Jew looking for a relationship so they had casual sex and then when he just left she fingered him for rape. When the story first broke, there was a whiff of racism in the accusation, but that appears to have dissipated. Now it looks more like a “breach of promise of marriage.”

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were “passing”, that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kip_Rhinelander

    It’s funny and disgusting at the same time. Here’s a copy of the photo (which was an early example of photo retouching) that was widely published in newspapers.

    http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-341054

    • Replies: @ben tillman

    No one has yet mentioned the case of the Jerusalem Arab who had sex with a Jewish woman who was convicted and sentenced to prison, but I don’t know if it’s terribly relevant.
     
    I followed the link, and it was the man, not the woman, who went to prison.

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were “passing”, that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.
     

    I followed your link, which says she did not disrobe in the courtroom. And the annulment was denied by the jury.

    It’s funny and disgusting at the same time. Here’s a copy of the photo (which was an early example of photo retouching) that was widely published in newspapers.
     
    Your link says she disrobed in camera; there was no photo.
  114. @IA
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/it-should-never-be-too-late-to-tell-your-story-of-rape-14-years-later-this-is-mine/2014/12/18/e596a6e2-771a-11e4-a755-e32227229e7b_story.html?wpisrc=nl-pmopns&wpmm=1

    It should never be too late to tell your story of rape. 14 years later, this is mine.

    Abigail Hauslohner is The Washington Post’s Cairo bureau chief.

    Steve, did you see this one?

    It doesn’t sound like rape to me.

    • Replies: @Xenophon Hendrix
    It sounded like a completely genuine story to me. Rendering a woman incapable of giving or denying consent with drugs and/or alcohol is the typical method of date rape according to what I've read and the rumor mill back in college.
  115. @Mr. Anon
    The moral of the story should be pretty clear for college men: Go find yourself a blue-collar girl off-campus, and leave the college girls to themselves. Let college be a nunnery for them.

    Or at least date women from other colleges. They can’t throw you out of a college you don’t go to, right?

  116. @The most deplorable one
    Steve, I think you are raising an important issue and stumbling towards an enlightenment.

    The high-speed destruction of behavioral norms that function to ensure that both males and females approached sexual behavior in a manner that was not going to lead to severe emotional issues later in life is not a good thing. Those behavioral norms evolved over a long period of time and they respect innate psychological predispositions of males and females.

    I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.

    Of course, there are some males who do regard the pair bond as a very important thing. Witness all those men who have been married for a long time. Even Obama believes in appearances, it seems.

    “I believe that deep down, women think that by having sex with a man they are bestowing a sacred gift on him, and to have a man treat their precious gift as nothing more than another notch on his penis must cause some women to become unhinged.”

    Eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap…

  117. Priss Factor [AKA "dna turtles"] says:

    How ‘megaphone’ works.

    Consider this MAD TV episode of the Chinese Toy Factory.

    The official with the megaphone tells the worker to do this, do that, and obey.
    But the worker keeps disobeying orders and keeps saying things are not as the official with the megaphone says.

    I think PC tries to manufacture all of us into little windup toys that act according to programming.
    It says we must do this, can’t do that, we must know this but notice that.
    But we can’t help saying ‘but sometimes I do’.
    We do notice stuff despite all the megaphonic shouting at us by PC.

  118. @yaqub the mad scientist
    Although the article, which told the story of the brutal, violent gang rape of a woman nicknamed “Jackie” at a University of Virginia fraternity house, has since had its veracity called into question, students at Washington and Lee University agree it has done something remarkable on campus—started a conversation.

    As I've pointed out before, this will be the go-to argument for some time.

    Yeah, but I keep wondering what the hell has gone wrong on college campuses that something as common place as a conversation needs a witch hunt before it can start. Seriously, WTF?

  119. @DSGNTD_PLYR
    I've noticed in recent months 2 interesting and related theories being pushed on PUA/Manosphere blogs wrt the ongoing Campus Rape Hysteria:

    1. It's about restoring pre-1968 sexual norms without the fear of being labeled a boring puritanical Republican. By scaring men, you force them to court women. By scaring women (YOU CAN HAZ 20-25% CHANCE OF BEING RAPE-RAPED BY THAT TOTS HAWT FRAT-BRO!!!!) you get them to be more cautious wrt who they agree to spend their time with.

    2. It's about protecting the honor of white girls.

    I suspect that the difference will be between women who associate with black males and women who don’t.

    Since black males commit murder at rates that are seven or more times greater than white and other males, their rape rates are likely similar or even higher.

  120. @Clyde
    Lauren Kozak is a lawyer looking for a niche and pioneering one We graduate too many lawyers these days so securing a niche is all important. A niche means you are valuable to certain (paying) people no matter how how screwy the cause. Because in the end "its all about gettin' paid" preferably by Gov't in some way or by the .Edu establishment many of which are Gov't funded


    Via LinkedIn
    Lauren Kozak

    Title IX Coordinator and Assistant Director of Career Development at Washington and Lee University

    Roanoke, Virginia Area
    Higher Education

    Previous

    Washington and Lee University,
    Kirkland & Ellis LLP law firm

    Education

    Pepperdine University School of Law

    There’s a story there that she was hired by K&E out of Pepperdine law, which is a fourth tier school. I wonder if her parents are some kind of big deal in D.C.

    • Replies: @map
    If anyone is actually interested, then you should check out Kirkland's website. They maintain statistics on what law schools their attorneys hail from, among other useful data.

    Yes, a lot of these low-tier hires are political cases.

    http://www.kirkland.com/sitecontent.cfm?contentID=184

    It really goes to show you how there are only 15 law schools.
  121. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were “passing”, that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kip_Rhinelander

    You clearly didn’t read your own link. His attempt to divorce her for “passing” was rejected by the court.

    “After weighing all the evidence, the jury ruled in Jones’ favor. The annulment Rhinelander requested was denied and the marriage was upheld. Rhinelander appealed several times but the verdict was upheld.”

    She then filed for separation with a large cash payout, which she received.

  122. @Flip
    It doesn't sound like rape to me.

    It sounded like a completely genuine story to me. Rendering a woman incapable of giving or denying consent with drugs and/or alcohol is the typical method of date rape according to what I’ve read and the rumor mill back in college.

    • Replies: @IA
    Abigail Hauslohner was a feminist at 17. At age 31 she is WaPo Bureau chief in ME. Ambitious and hard as nails, I'd say. I would have to assume she'd absorbed feminist dogma by the time she went to the very center of oppressive masculinity - a fraternity. Oddly enough, the "recovered" memory was coached by a therapist after years of sexual harrassment in a muslim country. Fake victim status essential to feminist dogma must have broken down because she couldn't use muslims as a focus for building rage. She admits that therapy allowed her to direct her rage against the accepted archetype, i.e., white men. In particular, "privileged" frat boys, 14 years in the past.
  123. @stillCARealist
    yes, Calvinist. I'm shocked when I hear what they teach in the high schools for "health". It's all about how to not get a disease or get pregnant. STAY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE is not in their curriculum. So many people think that message is unrealistic, but then I see scores of Indians and Chinese people living it out. I had an Indian boyfriend decades ago and he was committed to purity in his soul. I don't think I realized at the time what a gem he was (he married an Indian woman a few years later). My Chinese and Korean roommates in college were all waiting for marriage (and made it). Why can't we teach this any more?

    BTW, I wonder if it's all white and black students that behave so loosely. Are any Asian students ever involved in any of these accusations?

    when it comes to "date-rape", which is what we called it in the 80's, it seems nothing has changed in the last 30 years. The feminists are just getting crazier and the girls are still getting broken hearts. We take down all the signs and the fences and then act surprised when some people walk on the lawn.

    STAY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE is not in their curriculum. So many people think that message is unrealistic, but then I see scores of Indians and Chinese people living it out… My Chinese and Korean roommates in college were all waiting for marriage (and made it).

    If you’re going to wait, it helps to have a rough ball-park idea of how long that wait will be, and to have confidence that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. In those cultures, it’s more acceptable for parents to help their children find mates (whether they want help or not). White American parents seem terrified that helping Junior find a prom date would be “meddling”. Part of this is perhaps the laudable Western preference for love matches that has been around since the Middle Ages, but atomized and individualized postmodern culture has turbocharged the “hands-off” approach to an absurd extent. Orthodox blogger The Anti-Gnostic explained the problem better than I can:

    An institution that puts collective effort into helping [people] raise good Orthodox families would have more appeal than an institution that tells you good bye and good luck with your individual praxis out there in the cruel World. To give a concrete example, we lecture our young people on Orthodox chastity and marriage. Then we send them out into a sex-saturated culture and tell them to postpone marriage and childbearing while they acquire marketable skills (going in debt to do so). After all this, they get put in head-to-head economic competition with prospective spouses, and the Church offers no respite. We should not be surprised when our children don’t take us seriously, and freely exercise any of their dozens of options when they grow up and get to decide these things for themselves… Shouldn’t we be as concerned with driving down the cost of family-rearing? That seems to be the sort of thing people are actually crying for.

    Roman Catholics have the same problems. Homilists occasionally praise marriage as a vocation, but I’ve never seen any parish direct teenagers to a useful career counseling program that might help make that vocation a reality. Premarital sex and contraceptives are officially forbidden, but 90% of American bishops ceaselessly demand still more third-world immigration to further increase the cost of family formation. Some parishes in affluent neighborhoods do sponsor mixers for single twenty-something Catholic yuppies, which is good, but as Charles Murray noted, it’s not the upper-middle-class who need help.

  124. “Buddwing” might be on to something here. John Doe’s story sounds remarkably like a much more extreme version of an experience I had in college back in the 90s. I dated a girl for awhile, dumped her, started dating another girl, and suddenly the university slapped me with some sort of “harassment” complaint from my ex.

    There was no punishment involved, since it was viewed as a minor violation and a “first offense,” but I remember I had to meet with an administrator. I took my then-girlfriend (whom I eventually went on to marry) along with me to that meeting. The administrator took pains to assure me that the whole business was “probably nothing” and I should just make sure to go out of my way to avoid my ex in the future, “just so there’s no confusion.” (At the time, my ex lived in the same building as my then-girlfriend, so I often encountered my ex by accident in the lobby; after that meeting I stopped visiting my girlfriend at her place — we started meeting at my place instead.)

    The administrator never came right out and said so, but I got the distinct impression from the way everything was handled that mine was a common situation — that girls would often file bogus “complaints” with the school as a way of punishing boys for spurning them, and that this was a common enough occurrence that administrators who handled these complaints had learned to recognize these situations and handle them with a minimum of fuss.

    All of this starts to make sense in the context “Buddwing” provides — what these ladies were looking for was some kind of official action to “restore their honor”; they just weren’t able to say it that way, because they had been taught that this was an archaic notion. So instead, they were unwittingly trying to accomplish the same thing by using the words and concepts that had been provided to them. He did not “expose to scorn my sacred feminine honor” — he “harassed” me.

    I imagine that with the “rape culture” hysteria turned up to 11 the past few years, more than a handful of girls in this situation have been tempted to upgrade bogus “harassment” claims to bogus charges of “rape.” The fact that schools seem powerfully uneager to tell police about all these marauding bands of rapists that reportedly infest their campuses seems to indicate that they’re hip to what’s really going on here — they’re just not allowed to come right out and say it.

  125. @Merema
    In my opinion, it takes a lot for a girl to call administration and report a boy for sexual misconduct (assuming the person is not crazy). I think most of these cases in college are about "honor", but many are also about being not being "used" which is very important for a woman, especially for young sexually inexperienced women. This is is something that men don't get because men and women understand sex very differently. I had a 17 year old puerto rican roommate in college who was extremely naive and innocent. She met a foreign student who showered her with attention (which i knew was fake), and had soon manipulated her ( i love the word grooming) to fall in love with him. she went on to have a sexual relationship with him as he had also promised her marriage, but once he graduated at the end of the year, he cut her off and left her high and dry. This girl was devastated, and felt violated, used and discarded..she never recovered and dropped out from college. I can see someone like her going to administration and reporting him for sexual misconduct, and I can see how this is sexual misconduct. If a man or woman cons you into giving away your money , he/she would be arrested and jailed. But society does not think it is a crime to con women for sex and there lies an old problem-mostly for women. The problem is there is no recourse for young women who were sexually used under false pretense, and perhaps the only way to address it - at least in colleges -is to have mechanisms to control it, and scare boys into not being so exploitive of the young and naive.. Feminists are brilliant, they know the only way to constrain the sexual manipulation of women is by labeling such behavior as rape. Ofcourse there are many problems with this approach for men, as the punishment for such misconduct can be too severe, and there is the issue of false accusations. Furthermore Some many men are not manipulative , but just careless and inconsiderate. That is why people like Dean Erasmo can help, she can talk to both boy and girl, and have the boy apologize, clear some misunderstandings. He can be put him on notice to not repeat his manipulative behavior again or else. The girl will see how the boy is genuinely scared and/or remorseful and her honor and sanity are restored. American feminists can be crazy sometimes, but they know exactly what they are doing. They are at the forefront of demanding respect for global womanhood, and if they can't obtain it for white, highly educated, middle and upper class female students of a superpower, well, than, what good are they?

    I’m impressed with the commentariat here… it’s nice to see the occasional argument from another viewpoint that makes enough sense that it “moves the needle”.

    Not that I agree with all of it…

    They are at the forefront of demanding respect for global womanhood, …

    Global Manhood has been trying to demand respect since time immemorial — with little success. So, good luck with that.

  126. @Merema
    In my opinion, it takes a lot for a girl to call administration and report a boy for sexual misconduct (assuming the person is not crazy). I think most of these cases in college are about "honor", but many are also about being not being "used" which is very important for a woman, especially for young sexually inexperienced women. This is is something that men don't get because men and women understand sex very differently. I had a 17 year old puerto rican roommate in college who was extremely naive and innocent. She met a foreign student who showered her with attention (which i knew was fake), and had soon manipulated her ( i love the word grooming) to fall in love with him. she went on to have a sexual relationship with him as he had also promised her marriage, but once he graduated at the end of the year, he cut her off and left her high and dry. This girl was devastated, and felt violated, used and discarded..she never recovered and dropped out from college. I can see someone like her going to administration and reporting him for sexual misconduct, and I can see how this is sexual misconduct. If a man or woman cons you into giving away your money , he/she would be arrested and jailed. But society does not think it is a crime to con women for sex and there lies an old problem-mostly for women. The problem is there is no recourse for young women who were sexually used under false pretense, and perhaps the only way to address it - at least in colleges -is to have mechanisms to control it, and scare boys into not being so exploitive of the young and naive.. Feminists are brilliant, they know the only way to constrain the sexual manipulation of women is by labeling such behavior as rape. Ofcourse there are many problems with this approach for men, as the punishment for such misconduct can be too severe, and there is the issue of false accusations. Furthermore Some many men are not manipulative , but just careless and inconsiderate. That is why people like Dean Erasmo can help, she can talk to both boy and girl, and have the boy apologize, clear some misunderstandings. He can be put him on notice to not repeat his manipulative behavior again or else. The girl will see how the boy is genuinely scared and/or remorseful and her honor and sanity are restored. American feminists can be crazy sometimes, but they know exactly what they are doing. They are at the forefront of demanding respect for global womanhood, and if they can't obtain it for white, highly educated, middle and upper class female students of a superpower, well, than, what good are they?

    What you are arguing is ridiculous. You honestly expect a college kid to honor a vow of marriage where it’s obvious that none exists? Being naive and ignorant enough to believe that breaking a promise of marriage is like fraud is absurd.

    And, no, feminits are not trying to gain respect for women. They are simply destructive, in this case trying to greatly expand the freedom of women and curtailing their responsibilities.

  127. We do notice stuff despite all the megaphonic shouting at us by PC.

    And as long as we don’t get too uppity and try to make our own megaphones, the left’s happy.

    Since black males commit murder at rates that are seven or more times greater than white and other males, their rape rates are likely similar or even higher.

    Last I checked, it was a bit lower. The black rape rate was 6.5x the white rate.

    • Replies: @The most deplorable one

    Last I checked, it was a bit lower. The black rape rate was 6.5x the white rate.
     
    Interesting, because the feminists are claiming that women have a lifetime probability of being a victim of rape or attempted rape or sexual assault (whatever that is) or threat of sexual assault of 1/3. Never mind that they take all four of the victim classes in the DoJ/BJS data and conflate them.

    However, it would seem that women who refuse to associate with black males have well under a 1/100 life time probability of being raped.
  128. @Buzz Mohawk

    "However, in any college setting, if the men stop attending, then it is very likely the women will stop attending as well. I don’t think a person like Jackie (or the W&L woman above) would be very interested in attending a college where it was understood that the men on campus were absolutely off-limits for sexual activity (with the crucial and/or of commitment, with all that that entails.)"
     
    Where I went to college, the funnier female students called it "getting their M-R-S degree."

    A few that I "knew" (before their husbands did!) were successful at that, and went on to very profitable lives as "Mrs." so-and-so, married to male graduates.

    I think one or two of those guys may have no idea...

    Tangential: I once started a firestorm on an internet forum by mentioning college was a great place to find a marriage partner. I have never again been surrounded by so many eligible men as I was in college, and I easily found a sweet nerdy type to marry shortly after graduation (without needing to deal with the hook up go round and all that entailed). Apparently, this is an inappropriate reason to pursue higher education, even as a secondary goal.

    There’s this weird double standard where if women want marriage and motherhood, they aren’t supposed to pursue that with any kind of seriousness, unless you want a Lean In approved Supportive Husband. If you aren’t supposed to pursue a serious relationship, there’s naught else to do BUT hook up, particularly with all the cultural pressure toward early, frequent, promiscuous sexual activity.

    I often felt like telling my female classmates that it was totally normal and healthy to want to find a nice fellow, settle down, and have some babies, but all our parents treated this like it was damn near pathological. I think a lot of girls drank before parties and hook ups to silence their own inner voice that said this was a bad idea.

    • Replies: @elmer
    In the old days men acquired liberal arts degrees and a wife, then embarked on careers at insurance companies or rental car agencies. That world has been shattered and now women acquire the degree without the husband and spend their fertile years in cubicle farms.

    Your sweet nerdy type is just as macho as any bad boy, without all the stupid posturing.
    , @NOTA
    That's weird, becauase it seems like a lot of people have met their wives/husbands at school. I did, and so did several of my friends. It's probably a pretty expensive way to find a husband if you didn't also want the education, but you and he might also both want to know you were marrying a person who was smart and functional enough to get through college.
  129. Good stuff up there in comments 42 and 44. By the way, although it seems that the crime of seduction has been abolished in the 37 states that prohibited it 100 years ago, the tort is still alive. I remember learning in law school that Georgia still recognized the tort, and it is still on the books today:

    O.C.G.A. 51-1-16 (2010)
    51-1-16. Right of action for seduction of daughter; exemplary damages

    The seduction of a daughter, unmarried and living with her parent, whether followed by pregnancy or not, shall give a right of action to the father or to the mother if the father is dead, or absent permanently, or refuses to bring an action. No loss of services need be alleged or proved. The seduction is the gist of the action, and in well-defined cases exemplary damages shall be granted.

    Back in 2003, a Duke Tri Delt tried out the tort in North Carolina, apparently under common law rather than a statute. The case must have settled, because I couldn’t find out whether the courts found that the tort still existed. Still, her charges resulted in the disbanding of the chapter in question, which — from what I heard — was a good thing.

    http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20030211.html

  130. @Marty
    There's a story there that she was hired by K&E out of Pepperdine law, which is a fourth tier school. I wonder if her parents are some kind of big deal in D.C.

    If anyone is actually interested, then you should check out Kirkland’s website. They maintain statistics on what law schools their attorneys hail from, among other useful data.

    Yes, a lot of these low-tier hires are political cases.

    http://www.kirkland.com/sitecontent.cfm?contentID=184

    It really goes to show you how there are only 15 law schools.

  131. “It was easier to just do it. Besides, we were already in bed, and this is what people in bed do. I felt an obligation, a duty to go through with it. I felt guilty for not wanting to. I wasn’t a virgin.”

    Forgive me if someone else has already said it, but so much of our legal attitude towards rape, from which accusers benefit, comes from our old fire-and-brimstone culture that believed that the loss of a woman’s “virtue” is a sin barely above murder.

    Today’s women give it away early and often. Sex is basically treated as a recreational sport. And yet we take this legal attitude that a woman who wasn’t absolutely, 100% certain she wanted to have sex when she engaged in the act is entitled to put a man away for several years of his life.

    If you’re a woman and you don’t want to have sex with a guy, then don’t have sex with him. If you get yourself seriously intoxicated and make a dumbass drunk decision to sleep with a guy, then don’t go blaming him for “taking advantage of you.” You made the decision to get drunk. You made the decision – even while intoxicated – to have sex. Of course it’s easier to get a woman to go to bed with you when she’s drunk. That’s not an excuse to blame someone else, who may have been every bit as drunk, for having sex with you.

    Why is a woman off the hook for having sex while drunk while a man is not?

    • Replies: @Rapparee
    "Why is a woman off the hook for having sex while drunk while a man is not?"

    Yes, there's an unfair double standard at work that wrongly ignores women's moral responsibility for their actions, but like many sexual double standards, it's not one that society simply pulled out of its collective rear end for no reason whatsoever. Men are bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than women, so the risk of rape is very real for a woman who follows a man into the bedroom alone. (Obviously, this is the #1 reason why a woman shouldn't follow a man into the bedroom alone). Women are also naturally submissive, so I suspect many women who put themselves into situations of tempation are naively trusting the man to overpower both parties' raging hormones and put a stop to things at some point, "before we go too far". This is quite foolish (not to mention an entirely unreasonable burden to lay at the feet of a horny 19-year-old man, unless he's a saint), but since we're not allowed to openly talk about women's submissive nature, we have no way to warn women against this particular species of irrationality.
  132. @SPMoore8
    No one has yet mentioned the case of the Jerusalem Arab who had sex with a Jewish woman who was convicted and sentenced to prison, but I don't know if it's terribly relevant.

    http://www.jpost.com/National-News/Court-cuts-Arab-Israeli-rape-by-deception-sentence

    The story was that he pretended to be a single Jew looking for a relationship so they had casual sex and then when he just left she fingered him for rape. When the story first broke, there was a whiff of racism in the accusation, but that appears to have dissipated. Now it looks more like a "breach of promise of marriage."

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were "passing", that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kip_Rhinelander

    It's funny and disgusting at the same time. Here's a copy of the photo (which was an early example of photo retouching) that was widely published in newspapers.

    http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-341054

    No one has yet mentioned the case of the Jerusalem Arab who had sex with a Jewish woman who was convicted and sentenced to prison, but I don’t know if it’s terribly relevant.

    I followed the link, and it was the man, not the woman, who went to prison.

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were “passing”, that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.

    I followed your link, which says she did not disrobe in the courtroom. And the annulment was denied by the jury.

    It’s funny and disgusting at the same time. Here’s a copy of the photo (which was an early example of photo retouching) that was widely published in newspapers.

    Your link says she disrobed in camera; there was no photo.

    • Replies: @SPMoore8
    I didn't question that the man was sentenced to prison, but I agree that the way I wrote the sentence made that less than clear. This was in response to the poster who brought it up.

    I provided the link to the wikipedia article on Kip Rhinelander, because that was the handiest source. Again, I was responding to the poster who suggested that there was nothing analogous to the Jerusalem case. There was: regardless of what the judgment of the court was, it is a notorious example of attempting to nullify or punish a marital / sexual relationship on the basis of racial or ethnic "passing." In that sense I think it is a more than adequate White-Black comparison to the Arab-Jew model that was introduced.

    As for the photo, it is actually a photo-montage, and again famous for that reason.

  133. Washington and Lee Title IX T&A politruk Ms. Lauren Kozak would make a very cute lipstick lesbian. Imagine the opportunities with all the micro-aggressed upon young co-eds looking for morning after solace, mentoring and vengeance. Not necessarily in that order.
    She looks like a Washington and Lee lifer having been an undergraduate and now in a Title IX sinecure. At least until a more prestigious/higher paying Title IX commissar slot opens up in the Ivy League.

    Some Title IX history
    February 17, 1976
    NCAA challenges the legality of Title IX.

    July 15, 1977
    Senators Tower, Bartlett, and Hruska introduce Senate Bill (S. 2106), proposing to exclude revenue-producing sports from Title IX coverage. The bill dies in committee before reaching the Senate floor.

    1978
    HEW issues proposed policy “Title IX and Intercollegiate Athletics” for notice and comment.

    July 21, 1978
    Deadline for high schools and colleges to comply with Title IX athletics requirements.

    More at: http://www.womenssportsfoundation.org/en/home/advocate/title-ix-and-issues/history-of-title-ix/history-of-title-ix

  134. The internet has made the world a smaller place and feminism seems to be playing their last card and there won’t be a new deal until this game is finished.

    In regard to false rape accusations particularly, that is true. I don’t think they can get away with them anymore, because now everyone knows what they mean. (They mean that the girl in question does not feel good about what has happened, and she doesn’t know how else to describe it.)

    Now even the colleges themselves are acknowledging that it’s not really rape, it’s something else. Upthread someone mentioned “date rape from the 80s”. That is funny because that was the phrase and it is relevant and yet why hasn’t it come up and been brought back?

    The 80s were great, big hair and date rape and everyone knew the score. Yeah some feelings were hurt.

    Regarding Ms Kozak. As was pointed out that is not a Slavic face it is American. Hers is that odd combination of great features (blonde!) that somehow still all together don’t do, like the girl next door Sarah plain and tall. Horsey. If she were a nice girl that would all be forgiven.

    Going to Nepal on an exchange is romantic and brings to mind these lines,

    Damp cold on the mountain, morning
    Waiting for the sun
    Bitter tea and yak fat, again
    for breakfast

  135. One thing that is missing from all of the breathless accounts: noticing how often the word “private” is invoked, as in “private university.” This is another catchall phrase that we have to look out for, as if universities being “private” somehow exempts them from the existing statute and case law on “public accommodations.” This is just another example of how libertardian language poisons society.

    The importance of lawsuits being filed against this activity cannot be overestimated. These sorts of kangaroo-court “star chambers” have a very tenuous grasp on legal reality. Unless they can point to chapter and verse inside the Title IX language indicating how their actions and procedures follow logically from the federal language, they are in for a world of hurt. Not only the university, but the various officers could find themselves on the receiving end of some very nasty legal action.

    Remember, these “courts” operate under the belief that they have a wink and a nod from all the authorities potentially involved. That’s why their approach is intimidation and treating the whole matter as a foregone conclusion. What they are missing is the incredibly powerful, lavishly funded, actual legal system that provides an extremely lucrative living for people jealous of their own power. They want, and will get, a piece of this action. All of these Kozak types can be easily thrown under the bus and replaced with others if TPTB decide that their approach is to volatile and threatening. Plaintiffs need to use that.

    Finally, I cannot stress the importance of covert surveillance devices that should be worn by every male in this country when interacting with the public.

  136. The correct term is “regrape”.

    Example : Her tale of regrape sounds hoaxey, but we musn’t dismiss it as that would discourage other women from coming forward.

  137. This was the perfect situation to settle with a remedies based approach. The immediate problem was the excursion to Nepal. That could have been addressed and likely solved with an informal meeting. It was a small group and ‘love gone bad’ is sufficient to work something out without going into every detail.

    And, if they had both gone to Nepal — call me a cynic — but she would have had more consensual sex with John Doe. How do I know? Ha. Ha. Speculation.

    And I would guess that the guy’s current girlfriend wouldn’t have been too happy about the two of them going off to Nepal for a semester, either.

  138. @smurfette
    Tangential: I once started a firestorm on an internet forum by mentioning college was a great place to find a marriage partner. I have never again been surrounded by so many eligible men as I was in college, and I easily found a sweet nerdy type to marry shortly after graduation (without needing to deal with the hook up go round and all that entailed). Apparently, this is an inappropriate reason to pursue higher education, even as a secondary goal.

    There's this weird double standard where if women want marriage and motherhood, they aren't supposed to pursue that with any kind of seriousness, unless you want a Lean In approved Supportive Husband. If you aren't supposed to pursue a serious relationship, there's naught else to do BUT hook up, particularly with all the cultural pressure toward early, frequent, promiscuous sexual activity.

    I often felt like telling my female classmates that it was totally normal and healthy to want to find a nice fellow, settle down, and have some babies, but all our parents treated this like it was damn near pathological. I think a lot of girls drank before parties and hook ups to silence their own inner voice that said this was a bad idea.

    In the old days men acquired liberal arts degrees and a wife, then embarked on careers at insurance companies or rental car agencies. That world has been shattered and now women acquire the degree without the husband and spend their fertile years in cubicle farms.

    Your sweet nerdy type is just as macho as any bad boy, without all the stupid posturing.

    • Replies: @smurfette
    And don't I know it! I adore my sweet, nerdy type. He's a hard worker, excellent husband and devoted father, while getting sh*t in terms of validation from the larger culture for it.

    It's kind of sad, actually. I'm a pretty serious amateur cook (way beyond what's needed to get a decent dinner on the table) and he's stopped telling people about this because it's embarrassing and they sometimes assume he's forcing me into it. For the longest time he tried to dress up my job as something else (I'm a secretary) because people would sneer over it not being a proper career. It's like progs want Western Civilization to collapse.
  139. I think a lot of girls drank before parties and hook ups to silence their own inner voice that said this was a bad idea.

    In one her comedy show “Jesus is Magic,” Sarah Silverman sings “The Porn Song,” which has the refrain, “Do you ever take drugs so that you can have sex without crying?”

    http://www.lyricsmania.com/the_porn_song_lyrics_sarah_silverman.html

    • Replies: @David R. Merridale
    As a broken person, Sarah Silverman probably has some insight into the minds of porn actresses, but nothing she says or thinks has any relevance to normal gentile girls.
  140. @Mark Minter
    Ok then, maybe new word should be "Regrape"

    and add new phrases to the language:


    If even though she didn't want to in her mind, but her "body' responded and there was lubrication then she had

    regrape juice

    If her "assailant" first "regraped" her from the front then changed her position for rear entry then there was a

    regrape turnover

    If she complains about her regrape to her friends, "waaaah", but the circumstances seem dubious to them then that would called

    regrape whine (if she was menstruating, then of course, red regrape whine)

    If 9 frat boys "pulled the train" on her and the next day she wishes to regret it due to the count of guys then that could be called

    a bunch of regrapes (and the university would handle a case of regrapes)

    If other students find out about her regrape and then take to social media to pick on her then those insensitive louts would be

    regrape pickers

    With the high number of these cases emerging because of 3 out every 2 coeds experiencing this form of sexual assault on campus, the crush of the workload on university administrations would be called

    regrape jam

    I coined that word on heartiste today. Please confer credit where due. Let’s be professional Mark. While it is possible that multiple commentators came to the same research conclusion independently, for those of us who live and die by our online attention-whoring these small meme creations are hugely important.

  141. Re: a sensible professional career path for tasteful-string-of-pearls young ladies like Ms. Kozak.

    She looks like Trouble with a capital T to me. Don’t care how good looking she is; the job title is a sure sign of craziness.

  142. The court filing was extremely well done. And a perfect case to litigate the issues of due process. The fact that she did it again, voluntarily …

    And, if you are very confused about whether you were raped or not … it is very unlikely that it is rape.

    But, if this case gets traction, it will form the basis for a host of similar lawsuits. How many hours would it take to simply take that complaint and revise it to fit it to similar situations? Plagiarism doesn’t exist outside academia and journalism .. and a few other areas.

    IIRC, colleges have paid damages of over $25 million last year on these cases. They are either insured or self insured and will feel enough financial pain to mend their ways. Add in a runaway jury or two, or a large punitive damage award, and their insurers or risk managers will demand changes.

    Meanwhile, from my own (limited) experience, if it weren’t for drunken sex on campus, there wouldn’t be much sex at all. I have never heard of problems at the big football schools. And if there is a lot of drunken, regrettable sex anywhere, it would be there. Only the elite schools can afford the time and staff to deal with this.

    I feel bad for women that have to deal with bonafide date rape. I don’t think it is a rare occurrence, either.

    On the flip side, I have read about girls at elite schools complaining about the lack of datable guys. The girls are extremely smart and ambitious. If they want a boy who is their equal .. they have problems. Once you eliminate the aspie and overly geeky guys, and the gay males, and the guys already in relationships, and the guys who want a more traditional wife rather than an equal … there isn’t much left.

    This entire narrative is simply too stupid to get any real traction. There are a few million male college students. More of them die in traffic accidents than get railroaded out of college by kangaroo courts. Instead of 1 in 5 or more realistically, 1 in 100 …. it is more like 1 in 10,000 for males. Except for the 50,000 men in elite colleges, where the odds are more like 3 per thousand. These odds are simply guesses — I would encourage anyone else to make their own estimates. And, there are more than a few men who deserve to be kicked out, even if they are denied due process. Which is much closer to our judicial system than rich kids heavily lawyered up. Even most cases involving the rich and famous convict the right person for the wrong reason.

  143. I wonder if “regret equals rape” applies to LGBT experiences? If so, we may start to see another fissure in the Coalition of the Oppressed.

    Some may experience residual homophobia around such activities, but if properly confessed and repented, this may not count as bigotry. Consult any LGBTQ activist on Twitter for a definitive ruling.

  144. The most deplorable one [AKA "Fourth doorman of the apocalypse"] says:
    @Svigor

    We do notice stuff despite all the megaphonic shouting at us by PC.
     
    And as long as we don't get too uppity and try to make our own megaphones, the left's happy.

    Since black males commit murder at rates that are seven or more times greater than white and other males, their rape rates are likely similar or even higher.
     
    Last I checked, it was a bit lower. The black rape rate was 6.5x the white rate.

    Last I checked, it was a bit lower. The black rape rate was 6.5x the white rate.

    Interesting, because the feminists are claiming that women have a lifetime probability of being a victim of rape or attempted rape or sexual assault (whatever that is) or threat of sexual assault of 1/3. Never mind that they take all four of the victim classes in the DoJ/BJS data and conflate them.

    However, it would seem that women who refuse to associate with black males have well under a 1/100 life time probability of being raped.

  145. @elmer
    In the old days men acquired liberal arts degrees and a wife, then embarked on careers at insurance companies or rental car agencies. That world has been shattered and now women acquire the degree without the husband and spend their fertile years in cubicle farms.

    Your sweet nerdy type is just as macho as any bad boy, without all the stupid posturing.

    And don’t I know it! I adore my sweet, nerdy type. He’s a hard worker, excellent husband and devoted father, while getting sh*t in terms of validation from the larger culture for it.

    It’s kind of sad, actually. I’m a pretty serious amateur cook (way beyond what’s needed to get a decent dinner on the table) and he’s stopped telling people about this because it’s embarrassing and they sometimes assume he’s forcing me into it. For the longest time he tried to dress up my job as something else (I’m a secretary) because people would sneer over it not being a proper career. It’s like progs want Western Civilization to collapse.

    • Replies: @Hell_Is_Like_Newark
    My wife appreciates her geeky engineer husband (and I appreciate my non feminist wife): I am reliable, I am good at fixing stuff, I am good in an emergency: i.e. I came up with a fix for a generator with a broken fuel line during Sandy. Within 30 minutes of the power grid going down, the apartment had TV, Internet, refrigerators, and hot water up and running (for the next 10 days while our neighbors sat in the dark). Basically, she married a man who came with a complete set of hand and power tools.

    I consider myself lucky to be married to her. Previous women I knew found what she considers to be attributes, with at worst contempt, and at best a source of bemusement. A running theme I found with these women was they grew up in a divorced household where their father was rarely seen and often derided by their mother.

    So maybe it is not so much "geek" culture that is under attack, as it is traditional (civilized) male culture?
  146. @Bill P

    Lots of salacious details ensue which you can look up for yourself, either in the news story or in the court filing. Keep in mind that we don’t have anybody else’s side of the story. The college inquiry was done in star chamber with no public records.
     
    That's just one of the scary aspects of these tribunals. If you make a list of traditional protections such as due process, public trial, strict evidentiary standards and right to counsel, you'll notice that they are all absent. If you're accused, you have no practical means to defend yourself. This is like Stalinist or Idi Amin type justice.

    I don't know how the federal government can justify this kind of abuse of basic civil rights, much less promote it, but that's exactly what we have come to.

    Some may say "there's no right to a college education" (although they'd probably say the opposite when it comes to protected groups), but these days being expelled from college is tantamount to being permanently banished from the middle class. And in case people haven't noticed, being working class is getting worse and worse every year.

    Also, there's nothing benign about our good looking, blue-eyed Title IX enforcer. This represents a handy way for the daughters and wives of the wealthy to get paid for shoving the sons of the less fortunate out of contention. It's horrible that our federal government mandates these commissars, and even worse that we have to pay for their existence.

    Our tax dollars pay for the Dept. of Education, which is in charge of these witch hunts. Eliminate that (as many conservatives claim to want) and this goes away. Only support GOP candidates in favor of cutting useless (or harmful) government agencies with the dept of education the #1 priority.

  147. I suspect that some of what we are witnessing is that abortion / birth control has lost some of its mojo so feminism is trying to use a stronger talisman to organize and motivate their movement. The war-on-women meme based on women’s private parts has almost run its course with Religious Conservatives and 2nd wave feminists both aging out and birth control so effective now that only people who want children have them. Nobody cares about Sandra Fluke. Men are disengaging and “going their own way” so what good is an abortion if women aren’t getting pregnant in the first place?

    So what do they do? Up the ante with Rape Culture. It has several advantages over abortion because for one, women can claim they are victims vs. the passive grousing about not getting free brand name pills. Second, it can be used offensively as a weapon to demonize men while pushing for ever greater legal and economic privileges. As a bonus, it can be used to eliminate political opponents or people they just don’t like such as ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, and people who are just unworthy.

  148. @ben tillman

    No one has yet mentioned the case of the Jerusalem Arab who had sex with a Jewish woman who was convicted and sentenced to prison, but I don’t know if it’s terribly relevant.
     
    I followed the link, and it was the man, not the woman, who went to prison.

    There is at least one case where a white person divorced a spouse because they were “passing”, that would be the notorious Kip Rhinelander divorce, in which the wife was supposed to have partially disrobed in the courtroom to show whether her African heritage was obvious.
     

    I followed your link, which says she did not disrobe in the courtroom. And the annulment was denied by the jury.

    It’s funny and disgusting at the same time. Here’s a copy of the photo (which was an early example of photo retouching) that was widely published in newspapers.
     
    Your link says she disrobed in camera; there was no photo.

    I didn’t question that the man was sentenced to prison, but I agree that the way I wrote the sentence made that less than clear. This was in response to the poster who brought it up.

    I provided the link to the wikipedia article on Kip Rhinelander, because that was the handiest source. Again, I was responding to the poster who suggested that there was nothing analogous to the Jerusalem case. There was: regardless of what the judgment of the court was, it is a notorious example of attempting to nullify or punish a marital / sexual relationship on the basis of racial or ethnic “passing.” In that sense I think it is a more than adequate White-Black comparison to the Arab-Jew model that was introduced.

    As for the photo, it is actually a photo-montage, and again famous for that reason.

  149. @Buzz Mohawk

    "However, in any college setting, if the men stop attending, then it is very likely the women will stop attending as well. I don’t think a person like Jackie (or the W&L woman above) would be very interested in attending a college where it was understood that the men on campus were absolutely off-limits for sexual activity (with the crucial and/or of commitment, with all that that entails.)"
     
    Where I went to college, the funnier female students called it "getting their M-R-S degree."

    A few that I "knew" (before their husbands did!) were successful at that, and went on to very profitable lives as "Mrs." so-and-so, married to male graduates.

    I think one or two of those guys may have no idea...

    Yes, I am familiar with the “MRS” degree but I preferred not to put it that way. There are also a number of male graduate students who marry a working wife or homemaker wife so they can concentrate on their dissertations, that would be “PhT” (instead of PhD) for “pull hubby though.”

    It’s fairly obvious to anyone who has any exposure to higher education that good segment of the population is looking for a spouse (in addition to whatever they are studying.) And I would suggest that even today a good percentage of such couples are joined at the hip early in their college careers and do in fact get married, etc. etc.

    However, I don’t see men demanding certain behaviors from women. I do see women’s groups, and rape awareness groups, etc. demanding certain behaviors from men; again, witness the Clark and Michigan standards quoted in one of my prior posts (which came from a Colorado at Boulder analysis.) Those behavioral demands on men, in turn, do in fact imply that a certain — vocal if not majority — segment of college women do in fact want a return to an older, more negotiated sexual morality.

    I can understand why people would want to say that that is not so, and that the level of sexual assault is at an alltime high, etc. But how else can you explain things like the Clark and Michigan standards otherwise, without an implied agenda for older formulas of sexual morality?

  150. @Wilkey
    "It was easier to just do it. Besides, we were already in bed, and this is what people in bed do. I felt an obligation, a duty to go through with it. I felt guilty for not wanting to. I wasn’t a virgin."

    Forgive me if someone else has already said it, but so much of our legal attitude towards rape, from which accusers benefit, comes from our old fire-and-brimstone culture that believed that the loss of a woman's "virtue" is a sin barely above murder.

    Today's women give it away early and often. Sex is basically treated as a recreational sport. And yet we take this legal attitude that a woman who wasn't absolutely, 100% certain she wanted to have sex when she engaged in the act is entitled to put a man away for several years of his life.

    If you're a woman and you don't want to have sex with a guy, then don't have sex with him. If you get yourself seriously intoxicated and make a dumbass drunk decision to sleep with a guy, then don't go blaming him for "taking advantage of you." You made the decision to get drunk. You made the decision - even while intoxicated - to have sex. Of course it's easier to get a woman to go to bed with you when she's drunk. That's not an excuse to blame someone else, who may have been every bit as drunk, for having sex with you.

    Why is a woman off the hook for having sex while drunk while a man is not?

    Why is a woman off the hook for having sex while drunk while a man is not?

    Yes, there’s an unfair double standard at work that wrongly ignores women’s moral responsibility for their actions, but like many sexual double standards, it’s not one that society simply pulled out of its collective rear end for no reason whatsoever. Men are bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than women, so the risk of rape is very real for a woman who follows a man into the bedroom alone. (Obviously, this is the #1 reason why a woman shouldn’t follow a man into the bedroom alone). Women are also naturally submissive, so I suspect many women who put themselves into situations of tempation are naively trusting the man to overpower both parties’ raging hormones and put a stop to things at some point, “before we go too far“. This is quite foolish (not to mention an entirely unreasonable burden to lay at the feet of a horny 19-year-old man, unless he’s a saint), but since we’re not allowed to openly talk about women’s submissive nature, we have no way to warn women against this particular species of irrationality.

  151. “Since black males commit murder at rates that are seven or more times greater than white and other males, their rape rates are likely similar or even higher.”

    Differences in behavior matter more at the extreme ends of the bell curve, so the more extreme the crime, the more the difference between races increases. Murder > Rape > Burglary. There is, of course, a big difference between the white and black rates for burglary, but those rates will be closer than for rape, which will be closer than for murder.

  152. @HEL
    I've got a great new feminist catchphrase: "Yes means no!"

    I hope it catches on.

    I’ve got a great new feminist catchphrase: “Yes means no!”

    Or maybe “Yes means Whatever.”

  153. @Xenophon Hendrix
    It sounded like a completely genuine story to me. Rendering a woman incapable of giving or denying consent with drugs and/or alcohol is the typical method of date rape according to what I've read and the rumor mill back in college.

    Abigail Hauslohner was a feminist at 17. At age 31 she is WaPo Bureau chief in ME. Ambitious and hard as nails, I’d say. I would have to assume she’d absorbed feminist dogma by the time she went to the very center of oppressive masculinity – a fraternity. Oddly enough, the “recovered” memory was coached by a therapist after years of sexual harrassment in a muslim country. Fake victim status essential to feminist dogma must have broken down because she couldn’t use muslims as a focus for building rage. She admits that therapy allowed her to direct her rage against the accepted archetype, i.e., white men. In particular, “privileged” frat boys, 14 years in the past.

    • Replies: @Xenophon Hendrix
    You are reading a lot into the article that isn't actually there. She never says that the memory was recovered. On the contrary, she claims it was something that had been causing her long term distress. Furthermore, she never takes the tone about fraternities or men that you are implying.

    The way I read it, the article is a rather unemotional recounting of her betrayal by a young man she liked and trusted. I detect no man hating or radical feminism.
  154. “Women are also naturally submissive, so I suspect many women who put themselves into situations of tempation are naively trusting the man to overpower both parties’ raging hormones and put a stop to things at some point”

    How much physical strength does it require for a woman to say “no,” especially if the man is exhibiting no actual signs of willingness to commit forcible rape? And we live in equality world – if a woman is too drunk to say “no,” why should a man – especially one just as intoxicated as her – somehow be on the hook for going through with it?

    But my other point is that we seem to have one foot in each world – one in the old, biblical world, where the taking of a woman’s “virtue” was a crime just below murder, and the other where sex is just a recreational sport. In the latter world, why should raping a woman otherwise inclined to give it away routinely and to men who are barely more than acquaintances be considered any worse a crime than, say, stealing her purse?

    I’m saying that tongue-in-cheek, of course, but think about it this way: what if Crystal Gail Mangum, a professional stripper, actually had been raped? Should her rapists have received even a fraction of the sentence given to a man who raped a virginal 18-year-old?

  155. @johnnygeo
    No one else is concerned with the possible incest angle?

    "John Doe claims that twice, he had consensual sex with a student identified in the lawsuit as Jane Doe."

    Johnnygeo ftw!

  156. This entire narrative is simply too stupid to get any real traction.

    One could say the same about the overall agenda of today’s Liberals/Progressives.

    Yet those people rule USA.

    You sound like a *National Review* reading, Establishment Republican in continuing denial of reality.

  157. @Harry Baldwin
    I think a lot of girls drank before parties and hook ups to silence their own inner voice that said this was a bad idea.

    In one her comedy show "Jesus is Magic," Sarah Silverman sings "The Porn Song," which has the refrain, "Do you ever take drugs so that you can have sex without crying?"

    http://www.lyricsmania.com/the_porn_song_lyrics_sarah_silverman.html

    As a broken person, Sarah Silverman probably has some insight into the minds of porn actresses, but nothing she says or thinks has any relevance to normal gentile girls.

  158. @captainshiv
    From talking to my father, the dating market has really changed over the generations. My dad dated women that were within his social circle or at least was an acquaintance. They married young. I know fraternity guys that have slept with 50+ women just within the four years of college. There personalities match the description of the guy suing for false rape accusations. I also know plenty of guys who barely got laid at all in college. With the new found freedom that women have within the mores of the college environment, they will always often chase these players despite their better judgment. To put it more succinctly, they'd rather play the lottery that they'd wrangle a player than go for the good odds of a guy that was more reliable. In my dads day, even the players had comparably more relationships and less hookups. So in effect, it's become a winner take all market. Lots of different girls spend their college years chasing a select few guys that they falsely believed they had a chance with. (Due to men's greater ability to pump and dump.) They were the dump. Some women aren't emotionally equipped to handle that kind of environment and have extreme regrets.

    Several years ago, my elderly parents visited my wife and I. We took them to Manhattan for dinner. Walking past the bars my Dad made the following observation:

    Table after table had groups of young women sitting together. My Dad commented that in his day, that was rare to see. On a Friday or Saturday night, the tables would be filed with young men and women sitting together.

    His conclusion was the young have more sex but far fewer relationships. The latter is causing high status women to delay or forgo children (few high IQ women become single moms) much to the detriment of society as a whole.

  159. @smurfette
    And don't I know it! I adore my sweet, nerdy type. He's a hard worker, excellent husband and devoted father, while getting sh*t in terms of validation from the larger culture for it.

    It's kind of sad, actually. I'm a pretty serious amateur cook (way beyond what's needed to get a decent dinner on the table) and he's stopped telling people about this because it's embarrassing and they sometimes assume he's forcing me into it. For the longest time he tried to dress up my job as something else (I'm a secretary) because people would sneer over it not being a proper career. It's like progs want Western Civilization to collapse.

    My wife appreciates her geeky engineer husband (and I appreciate my non feminist wife): I am reliable, I am good at fixing stuff, I am good in an emergency: i.e. I came up with a fix for a generator with a broken fuel line during Sandy. Within 30 minutes of the power grid going down, the apartment had TV, Internet, refrigerators, and hot water up and running (for the next 10 days while our neighbors sat in the dark). Basically, she married a man who came with a complete set of hand and power tools.

    I consider myself lucky to be married to her. Previous women I knew found what she considers to be attributes, with at worst contempt, and at best a source of bemusement. A running theme I found with these women was they grew up in a divorced household where their father was rarely seen and often derided by their mother.

    So maybe it is not so much “geek” culture that is under attack, as it is traditional (civilized) male culture?

  160. And don’t I know it! I adore my sweet, nerdy type. He’s a hard worker, excellent husband and devoted father, while getting sh*t in terms of validation from the larger culture for it.

    It’s kind of sad, actually. I’m a pretty serious amateur cook (way beyond what’s needed to get a decent dinner on the table) and he’s stopped telling people about this because it’s embarrassing and they sometimes assume he’s forcing me into it. For the longest time he tried to dress up my job as something else (I’m a secretary) because people would sneer over it not being a proper career. It’s like progs want Western Civilization to collapse.

    NYC? Boston? Washington DC? San Fran? C’mon, spill it. You aren’t describing America, you’re describing a big blue stronghold. Which megacity we talking about?

    In that sense I think it is a more than adequate White-Black comparison to the Arab-Jew model that was introduced.

    It’s quite a stretch. For one, how old is it? For another, a divorce case vs. a rape case. For another, the Jew won and the Arab lost (and went to jail), while the white was denied his petition for separation. So, no, really not much of an analogy. But I’d be happy to find a better comparison from the Segregated South in the 1930s to match to Israel today.

    Differences in behavior matter more at the extreme ends of the bell curve, so the more extreme the crime, the more the difference between races increases. Murder > Rape > Burglary. There is, of course, a big difference between the white and black rates for burglary, but those rates will be closer than for rape, which will be closer than for murder.

    There’s also the fact that murder is the one crime cops tend to almost never sweep under the rug. They might lean a bit to make a murder into a suicide when they can, but other than something like that, the math is simple: we’ve got a body, now we need a suspect. Crimes like rape, assault, and burglary are much more malleable, easier to make go away.

  161. The trouble is, if there were a real comparison to be found in white American history to the Israeli Jewish girl’s “regret rape” persecution of the Arab Muslim boy, we’d have heard it already. The victim would probably be a household name, like Emmit Till. There would have been a movie (probably penned and/or directed by a Jew), and a remake, and histories, a novel, etc. And prominent Jews would keep it a household word, in perpetuity.

  162. How long until male students start launching counter-complaints? Especially in cases like this where the people involved had sex on multiple occasions? If Jane Doe cried rape for the February hookup, could John Doe file a rape complaint for the March hookup? There’s a potential for mutually-assured destruction here.

  163. @Anonymous
    Some people are capable of having genuinely no-strings-attached sex, with no more emotional connection with their bedmate than they'd have with the stranger they sat beside at the lunch counter and passed the salt to.

    A lot of other people like the idea of no-strings-attached sex, and might think they're participating in it, but they end up feeling used and dishonored, and without the language to talk about it satisfactorily.

    He was terrible, did not even bother to kiss me for more than a few seconds, and finished in about five minutes, after which he simply walked out of the room and did not return ... Also, I accidentally left my favorite pair of earrings ... when I texted him this fact, he responded with "I will leave them outside of the building for you"

    That is the tersely bitter send-off of one pissed and deeply wounded woman. Don’t let the whimsical snarkiness and slut empowerment pose fool you.

     

    Right. Her complaint is completely reasonable. It’s just that her terminology is wrong–the term for someone who does that is not “rapist,” it’s “cad.” He wanted to get into her pants but didn’t give a damn about her as a human being. That’s neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave. She doesn’t need to call the police, she just needs to spread the word about what a jerk he is among her dorm-mates.

    • Replies: @ben tillman

    Right. Her complaint is completely reasonable. It’s just that her terminology is wrong–the term for someone who does that is not “rapist,” it’s “cad.” He wanted to get into her pants but didn’t give a damn about her as a human being. That’s neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave.
     
    Exactly.
    , @27 year old
    He wanted to get into her pants but didn’t give a damn about her as a human being. That’s neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave. She doesn’t need to call the police, she just needs to spread the word about what a jerk he is among her dorm-mates.

    .... LOL
  164. @smurfette
    Tangential: I once started a firestorm on an internet forum by mentioning college was a great place to find a marriage partner. I have never again been surrounded by so many eligible men as I was in college, and I easily found a sweet nerdy type to marry shortly after graduation (without needing to deal with the hook up go round and all that entailed). Apparently, this is an inappropriate reason to pursue higher education, even as a secondary goal.

    There's this weird double standard where if women want marriage and motherhood, they aren't supposed to pursue that with any kind of seriousness, unless you want a Lean In approved Supportive Husband. If you aren't supposed to pursue a serious relationship, there's naught else to do BUT hook up, particularly with all the cultural pressure toward early, frequent, promiscuous sexual activity.

    I often felt like telling my female classmates that it was totally normal and healthy to want to find a nice fellow, settle down, and have some babies, but all our parents treated this like it was damn near pathological. I think a lot of girls drank before parties and hook ups to silence their own inner voice that said this was a bad idea.

    That’s weird, becauase it seems like a lot of people have met their wives/husbands at school. I did, and so did several of my friends. It’s probably a pretty expensive way to find a husband if you didn’t also want the education, but you and he might also both want to know you were marrying a person who was smart and functional enough to get through college.

  165. @IA
    Abigail Hauslohner was a feminist at 17. At age 31 she is WaPo Bureau chief in ME. Ambitious and hard as nails, I'd say. I would have to assume she'd absorbed feminist dogma by the time she went to the very center of oppressive masculinity - a fraternity. Oddly enough, the "recovered" memory was coached by a therapist after years of sexual harrassment in a muslim country. Fake victim status essential to feminist dogma must have broken down because she couldn't use muslims as a focus for building rage. She admits that therapy allowed her to direct her rage against the accepted archetype, i.e., white men. In particular, "privileged" frat boys, 14 years in the past.

    You are reading a lot into the article that isn’t actually there. She never says that the memory was recovered. On the contrary, she claims it was something that had been causing her long term distress. Furthermore, she never takes the tone about fraternities or men that you are implying.

    The way I read it, the article is a rather unemotional recounting of her betrayal by a young man she liked and trusted. I detect no man hating or radical feminism.

    • Replies: @IA
    She was and is a feminist. They don't like men.
  166. We have inherited a masculine legal culture that is traditionally oriented toward coming to some kind of decision, such as guilty or not guilty. It’s in conflict with our current feminine therapeutic culture that is oriented toward talking for the sake of talking.

    Watching cable news these days, racial issues is nonstop talking for the sake of talking. O’Reilly and Hannity bring on this endless parade of 105 IQ blacks, ask them why they don’t care that 90 something percent of blacks are murdered by other blacks, and the black guests just say stupid things that are irrelevant. It’s been nonstop with this stuff. Preferable to CNN and MSNBC though, where black guests go on with their paranoid fantasies about getting hunted down by the cops with nobody ever challenging them.

  167. @NOTA
    Right. Her complaint is completely reasonable. It's just that her terminology is wrong--the term for someone who does that is not "rapist," it's "cad." He wanted to get into her pants but didn't give a damn about her as a human being. That's neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave. She doesn't need to call the police, she just needs to spread the word about what a jerk he is among her dorm-mates.

    Right. Her complaint is completely reasonable. It’s just that her terminology is wrong–the term for someone who does that is not “rapist,” it’s “cad.” He wanted to get into her pants but didn’t give a damn about her as a human being. That’s neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave.

    Exactly.

  168. @NOTA
    Right. Her complaint is completely reasonable. It's just that her terminology is wrong--the term for someone who does that is not "rapist," it's "cad." He wanted to get into her pants but didn't give a damn about her as a human being. That's neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave. She doesn't need to call the police, she just needs to spread the word about what a jerk he is among her dorm-mates.

    He wanted to get into her pants but didn’t give a damn about her as a human being. That’s neither criminal nor grounds for expulsion from school, but it is a nasty way to behave. She doesn’t need to call the police, she just needs to spread the word about what a jerk he is among her dorm-mates.

    …. LOL

  169. @Xenophon Hendrix
    You are reading a lot into the article that isn't actually there. She never says that the memory was recovered. On the contrary, she claims it was something that had been causing her long term distress. Furthermore, she never takes the tone about fraternities or men that you are implying.

    The way I read it, the article is a rather unemotional recounting of her betrayal by a young man she liked and trusted. I detect no man hating or radical feminism.

    She was and is a feminist. They don’t like men.

  170. W&L’s motion to dismiss was denied (in part):

    http://www.vawd.uscourts.gov/OPINIONS/MOON/doevwl.pdf

    The opinion includes this classic footnote:

    The investigative report explained that Jane Doe denied making any part of this statement: “[Jane Doe] doesn’t think that she would have ever said that she doesn’t normally sleep with someone that she just met. She had slept with people that she had just met. In fact, she didn’t want to sleep with [John Doe] that night because she had decided she didn’t want to do that anymore.”

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