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Report: People Have Been Thinking All White Men Are Terrible But It Turns Out It's Just Steve
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From the Babylon Bee:

Report: People Have Been Thinking All White Men Are Terrible But It Turns Out It’s Just Steve

April 22nd, 2021

U.S.—There has been a growing anti-racist movement against whiteness and white males, identifying them as a scourge on society and the basis for all our problems. But now many have begun to realize that there is in fact no problem with white people in general but with only one: Steve.

“Ugh, Steve,” said one person, thinking of Steve.

“I kept writing about all these awful white people,” explained anti-racist activist Ibram X. Kendi, “ones who discriminate, oppress, and can’t dance, but then I realized each time I was just thinking of Steve. I couldn’t come up with any other examples.” Kendi laughed. “I guess I was making the same mistake as racists and overgeneralizing based on race. White people aren’t the problem; just Steve.”

“Yeah, the problem isn’t whiteness; it’s Steve-ness,” said White Fragility author Robin DiAngelo, who is now updating her book and changing the title to Steve Fragility. “I can’t believe we were blaming a whole group of people when really it was just Steve. It makes me hate Steve even more. Grr! Steve!”

As for Steve, when asked about being the real problem, he didn’t say anything but made a dumb expression that just made everyone want to punch him. Steve is the worst.

Dang it, Steve!

Steve Lives Matter!

 
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  1. Your Steveness blinds me to my Inner Steve, damn you.

  2. Wow, this is too much to just be a coincidence, ne c’est pas?

    • Replies: @SunBakedSuburb
  3. Finally, they figured it out!

    Now, Steve has to dive into a volcano as a sacrifice. Then everything will return to balance.

    Congratulations, Steve, for being the object of a joke. It means something. It means you are famous, but don’t go to Substack just yet…

    • Replies: @Dr. Krieger
  4. Damn, The Babylon Bee are ISteve readers!

  5. This is no coincidence.

    I’d bet my life savings that the folks at Babylon Bee read Steve Sailer.

    Also, Hollywood must be destroyed. Get serious, fight back, cancel cable.

    • Replies: @SunBakedSuburb
  6. I wonder which Babylon Bee writer will be sacrificed after the usual suspects pick up on it.

  7. Babylon Bee is (great) satire. Jeff Bozo going after Tucker is for real.

    Yet, they dare not mention all the names of the dangerous ones (Jared Taylor comes to mind) lest the unwashed masses acquire truly diverse sources of information.

  8. Congrats …

    [MORE]

    you racist bastard, you!

  9. Yo time is up, beeyotch!

    In related stories:

    Bodycam captures Louisiana cop tasing handcuffed 67-year-old Black man

    By Jorge Fitz-Gibbon
    https://nypost.com/2021/04/22/bodycam-shows-louisiana-cop-tasing-handcuffed-67-year-old-man/

    Shocking new bodycam footage captures the moment an irate Louisiana cop repeatedly zaps a 67-year-old man with a Taser, taunting the man by telling him to scream.

    “Scream again,” Police Officer Nolan Dehon is heard telling Izell Richardson during the encounter in Port Allen last month. “Go ahead, scream. Scream again.”

    False alarm though–it’s a black cop.

    [MORE]

    ONE BURGER PER MONTH, FATTIES!
    [url=https://imgbb.com/]upload pi

  10. @ScarletNumber

    “coincidence”

    Nope. Lots of late boomer/early gen x Steves. Most of them dicks. CPO Steve was the most dickish of the Steves that crossed my path. Lucky for him I was still under UCMJ jurisdiction. I tried to meet Desert Inn Steve but the Mormons refused entry to his suite.

  11. All downhill, bros.

    • Disagree: Desiderius
    • Replies: @Wade Hampton
    , @Polistra
  12. syonredux says:

    Buried in the guts of an article, a revealing exchange:

    A groundbreaking sitcom finds the ideal target: white people’s love of a made-up past

    In the deft new Peacock comedy “Rutherford Falls,” which begins streaming Thursday, Ed Helms plays Nathan Rutherford, whose colonial ancestor Lawrence Rutherford gave his name to the town he founded. A statue locally known as Big Larry commemorates him, but because the charter insists that it occupy “the exact location” where the town was founded, it stands in the middle of the street. Out-of-town motorists have a tendency to crash into it. When the mayor (Dana L. Wilson) makes plans to move it, Nathan, whose house is a museum dedicated to his family history and who is averse to change, even measured in millimeters, starts to go to pieces.

    Rutherford Falls borders the reservation of the (invented) Minishonka people, who were there first. Nathan’s best friend since childhood is Reagan Wells (Jana Schmieding), a Minishonka woman who tends a sort of museum of her own, an ill-stocked cultural center attached to the nation’s Running Thunder casino. Gamblers mistake it for a gift shop or “only come in to charge their phones.” Like Nathan, Reagan — who doesn’t live on the reservation but in town — is more in touch with the history of her people than with the actual people. It will not take even a moderately woke viewer to understand that this will lead to some kind of reckoning. As Nathan himself does not.

    When a racist history professor with a podcast (Paul F. Tompkins) points out approvingly to Nathan that among the Rutherfords’ list of historic firsts is “the first white baby born in Cobb’s County,” he is properly horrified: “It’s not a point of pride!”

    https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/tv/story/2021-04-22/rutherford-falls-ed-helms-mike-schur-sierra-teller-ornelas-peacock

    Indeed, imagine what kind of person would take pride in the birth of a White baby…..Woke folk know that nothing is more shameful than Whites replenishing their numbers….

    • Replies: @Polistra
    , @Curle
  13. J.Ross says:

    It’s almost like they’re readers …
    Come on, Tambi, join the rest of us. There’s so much of the ship you’re missing. You’ll have plenty of time to stargaze later.

  14. The Steve Above All Steves:

    • Replies: @Ron Mexico
  15. Anonymous[947] • Disclaimer says:

    Congratulations

    • Agree: Bubba
  16. J.Ross says:

    Steve!
    Steeeve!
    Steverino!
    The Stevemeister!
    His Excellency Stefan, Grandmaster of the Order of the Stave!

    • LOL: ScarletNumber
    • Replies: @fish
  17. @JohnnyWalker123

    So there’s a study that says that another study’s results are not reproducible. Are the authors being intentionally ironic? Is this another Babylon Bee essay?

    Are any social “science” studies reproducible? Only about one third according to another social “science” study. We are going down the rabbit hole here.

    “…Today, in Nature Human Behavior, a collaborative team of five laboratories published the results of 21 high-powered replications of social science experiments originally published in Science and Nature, two of the most prestigious journals in science. They failed to replicate the results of more than a third of the studies and turned up significantly weaker evidence for the remainder compared to the original studies…”

    https://phys.org/news/2018-08-social-science.html

    • Replies: @kaganovitch
  18. syonredux says:

    Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg:

    We must eradicate white supremacy from every corner of our society.

    We need to find a final….I mean, a permanent solution….

  19. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tao_of_Steve

    Have you considered doing speed seduction seminars? There must be tens thousands old white guys in Los Angeles who want to learn Game. Frame. Shit tests. Hypergamy. All the guys I see doing this are young and stupid. After 13 months of being locked down there must be a bunch of pent up demand.

    • Replies: @J.Ross
  20. fish says:
    @J.Ross

    …..the man from Stevestinia!

  21. fish says:
    @syonredux

    Jesus….straight from Central Casting.

    • Replies: @SunBakedSuburb
  22. @syonredux

    Hehe “Rabbi”

    She says the same thing about the right-wing in Israel if you read other tweets. (never heard of her until you posted this, but I guess she has a following.

    “Rabbi”

    • Replies: @anon
  23. Twinkie says:

    Steves are being unfairly maligned, but Stevens victim-posing as Steves are dastardly and should be (electronically) lynched. Burn them!

    • Replies: @Pat Kittle
  24. @Wade Hampton

    Today, in Nature Human Behavior, a collaborative team of five laboratories published the results of 21 high-powered replications of social science experiments originally published in Science and Nature, two of the most prestigious journals in science. They failed to replicate the results of more than a third of the studies and turned up significantly weaker evidence for the remainder compared to the original studies…”

    All hail peer review.

  25. anon[291] • Disclaimer says:
    @syonredux

    We must eradicate white supremacy from every corner of our society.

    —Rabbi Ruttenberg

    Every single time.

    • Replies: @fish
  26. anon[291] • Disclaimer says:
    @Morris Applebaum IV

    The rabbi says the same thing about the right-wing in Israel if you read other tweets.

    Does she? Do you mean this: “We must eradicate jewish supremacy from every corner of our society”?

    Please post.

  27. Polistra says:
    @JohnnyWalker123

    Well, you made me look, and (though I’d not have thought it possible) Twitter is even more stupid than last time you made me look.

  28. Polistra says:
    @syonredux

    Well yeah, just look at the malevolence in that baby’s visage.

    Sorry, I’m practicing my admissions essays again.

    But seriously. They start young.

  29. El Dato says:

    The voice actor for Steve on The Simpson better apologize, defund himself then go St Floyd Square for deep praying.

  30. Ibram X. Kendi, the Tinkerbelle of Black Fantasyland.

    • Agree: fish
    • LOL: BB753
    • Replies: @SunBakedSuburb
  31. AndrewR says:
    @syonredux

    More like Tranya.

    No way that thing lacks a Y chromosome

  32. Neoconned says:

    Steve is this you feeling all low-T & unappreciated so now you’re coming out as late life M2F trans?

  33. @John Gruskos

    “Hollywood must be destroyed”

    Hollywood committed suicide March 3, 2017.

  34. @Henry Canaday

    “Ibram X. Kendi”

    From short bus kid to tech-funded propagandist of colour: Ibram’s an American success story.

  35. @fish

    “Jesus … straight from Central Casting”

    It is rather ironic considering she belongs to the Sabbatean Rabbi cult that conjured the Nazi sun god. Although, like most people, I really don’t know what irony means.

    • Replies: @Pat Kittle
  36. Curle says:
    @syonredux

    “Groundbreaking.”

    These people never scrimp on the superlatives, do they?

  37. What about Chad and Brad?

  38. TheJester says:
    @syonredux

    Not being Jewish, I have a question. Is a Jewish female who aspires to be whatever properly addressed as “rabbi”. “rabbis”, or “rabbid”?

    I have the same kind of question for Episcopalian “priests”. I understand that there are more female Episcopalian “priests” than male priests these days. I don’t get it. If I was a woman and an Episcopalian minister, I would want to be called a “priestess”.

    What am I missing in all of this?

  39. MEH 0910 says:


    [MORE]

    • Replies: @MEH 0910
  40. J.Ross says:
    @Morton's toes

    It’s actually a decent and uncontested starting point for straightening your life out. The germ of game isn’t wanting to get laid, it’s noticing the power and accessibility of objective reality. If they use it to get a look at what they look at from the outside and then move into more conventional self-improvement, good for them. If your description is accurate though that course hasn’t been updated in 15 years and women in general will be thoroughly familiar with their card tricks. Best to skip straight to lifting and paleo.

  41. @Buzz Mohawk

    Joe tried that years ago.
    The volcano spat him out.

    Maybe it’ll work with Steve.

  42. I kept writing about all these awful white people,” explained anti-racist activist Ibram X. Kendi, “ones who discriminate, oppress, and can’t dance,

    40 years ago in Venice (CA), l was leaving an old-time blues dive at closing time with a lady friend when an unhappy Black male informed me that I had no business dancing like a Black man.

    He was clearly offended, and so was I. He was actually jealous; as for me I make zero effort to copy anyone on a dance floor, what I do is inspired by a song I like & a woman I like. And I sure as hell don’t want anyone thinking I’m trying to be Black.

    I didn’t know if this jerk was going to make trouble, but I was still a young quick-reflexed weight-lifter so I wasn’t worried. Anyway, he did not proceed to demand reparations for cultural appropriation.

  43. @SunBakedSuburb

    Although, like most people, I really don’t know what irony means.

    The word “irony” was coined relatively recently by metallurgists, realizing that accessible high-grade iron ore is getting scarce, when the entire core of the Earth is primarily iron.

  44. @Twinkie

    Steves are being unfairly maligned

    Not when Steve himself confesses to a major felony, and tries to make a joke of it:

    — (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8oNTq9MTd4)

  45. Lagertha says:

    I am still a big fan of yours – we are friends for life. Shitstorm will arrive and stuff will get destroyed but stuff is stuff. I will always be curious what your first expression is after the apocalypse! I am sure it is very glib! hahahhahhahaaaaa

  46. Dissident says:
    @syonredux

    We must eradicate white supremacy from every corner of our society.

    This is somehow supposed to be instructive, remarkable or shocking? At this point, in second-quarter 2021? Really?

    Is there anyone (whether Jew, Christian, atheist, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, pagan, white, black, LatinX, Asian, American, Canadian, English, Irish, or anything else) among our Woke, SJW or even merely Goodwhite betters who would not wholeheartedly endorse the quoted sentiment? Hasn’t agreement that “white supremacy” is a cancer to be eradicated been pretty-much a minimum requirement for avoiding cancel-worthy status for some time already?

  47. MEH 0910 says:
    @MEH 0910

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