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From Fox26:
Florida man accused of biting dog
POSTED:APR 19 2017 05:19PM CDT
BREVARD COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) – A Brevard County man was arrested, accused of biting the family dog. Police said the suspect told them he was trying to “teach the dog a lesson.”
According to investigators, Zachary Kelly, 30, became upset with Pheobe, a four-month-old puppy who was “acting up.” They say he held the dog down and bit her on the ears, causing the animal to repeatedly yelp.
“I’m obviously not happy about it,” said Jessica Wenner, the suspect’s girlfriend and dog’s owner.
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LOL!
In other news, Kim Jong Un revealed to be ardent, radical conservative and America’s greatest ally.
http://www.breitbart.com/california/2017/04/20/north-korea-nukes-san-francisco-in-propaganda-video/
We are all crackers here in Florida. And we can’t even spell Phoebe right.
Ok -let’s have a look behind “the curtain” (Laurie Anderson – Big Science): Why did this vile man bite this dog? What kind of gender is this dog? If it is female – why did the paper not notice it? Is there sexual oppression involved? What are the suspects sexual preferences? Did he really only bite the dog’s ear, or was that to hide what had happened befor – and could have hurt the poor creature severly. Why is the dog’s owner so reluctant in describing the dog’s suffering? Is there any form of organised crime involved – some sort of underground treacherous doubtful and oppressive hustling of any – possibly hencforth unknown – kind?
Will there ever follow a clean report of the true facts of this case?
The assailant was lucky it was not a police dog he bit. That would have gotten him a felony assault on a LEO charge. I had to laugh at a police report the other day that noted a man had been charged with exactly that for ‘choking’ a police dog that had latched onto his leg! The dog was not hurt but the suspect was treated at the hospital for his bite wound.
The local press takes its police dogs seriously and features pictures of them when they effect an arrest. They wear cute bullet proof vests too. We need more of them or, perhaps, apes as LEOs. Would the whole problem in Ferguson, Missouri have even happened had Officer Wilson had an ‘Ape Unit’ with him and the confrontation been between the ‘Gentle Giant’, Michael Brown and a deputized chimpanzee?
Seems like a pretty smart way to discipline a dog to me, I imagine that’s what they do to their own puppies when they get out of line.
It doesn’t sound like the dog was injured. So basically, this man got arrested for the equivalent of paddling a puppy on the bottom with a rolled-up newspaper.
Florida Man!
Cruelty to animals, that’so low.
It’s not.
I used to bite my old bullmastiff (RIP) when we were roughhousing. Never hard enough for her to yelp or express any discomfort, just play bites like how dogs give one another. We would bite and scratch and wrestle and have a good old time. If ever it started getting too rough, I would making kissing sounds and she would immediately start licking my cheeks.
My current dog is far too small to bite or play with like that. Roughhousing is me waggling my fingers around his face, and he will bite my fingers. He especially likes biting the webbing between my thumb and forefinger. When we’re done we’ll lay down and he will try to lick my nostrils.
Like the dog-biting subject of the article, my last name is Kelly. Not sure if there is any significance to that fact.
I can't imagine cruelty to anything or anyone helpless.
The joke, in case anyone is even denser than me, is that one of the first things they teach you in journalism is that ‘man bites dog’ is news, but ‘dog bites man’ isn’t, because only the first is unusual. So it’s a literal example of an old journalism truism.
You knew when the inevitable would happen and that a man bites a dog, that it would be a Florida man.
Though for a while there, Minnesota Man was the new Florida Man.
To be fair to Floridians, much of the trouble is caused by residents of colder states who fled south when they became to crazy, criminal, or queer to remain welcolme in Ohio or whereever. When I lived in Tampa in the late 80s, a number of people I met would become suddenly evasive when asked about their hometowns.
My favorite Florida story from that time was about a lady who won the Lottery, and attempted to fulfil a long sought ambition of murdering her son in law with her now ample funds. Her misfortune was to reach out to an undercover cop posing as a hit man. Seemed to happen a lot back then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erW_1wA8smo
Florida Man – sounds like a newly discovered kind of Hominid.
My current dog is far too small to bite or play with like that. Roughhousing is me waggling my fingers around his face, and he will bite my fingers. He especially likes biting the webbing between my thumb and forefinger. When we're done we'll lay down and he will try to lick my nostrils.
Like the dog-biting subject of the article, my last name is Kelly. Not sure if there is any significance to that fact.Replies: @Zachary Latif
Mr Zachary Kelly has let down all Zacharys with his shameful anti-caninism. Here is a pic of my pup to show that Zach’s can be very good dog-dads – https://instagram.com/p/BRmJrAdDONo/.
I can’t imagine cruelty to anything or anyone helpless.
Though for a while there, Minnesota Man was the new Florida Man.Replies: @Lagertha, @Reg Cæsar
hahahaa…so funny. I predict: this is gonna be the lowest Steve post of replies, brainfarts, evah. Why: it is just too blech! Put it this way (and you guys know I love animals), Lagertha would have taken an axe to this creepy man and dumb-ass gf. Ewwww…these people are really disgusting.
The scourge of the phoebleminded.
Though for a while there, Minnesota Man was the new Florida Man.Replies: @Lagertha, @Reg Cæsar
A stroll through St Paul’s pan-Asian Frogtown would leave one wondering how widespread dog is on the menu.
I think Steve’s main point it that the MSM is so fixated on making up man bites dogs stories for ideological reasons, it can’t even spot a literal man bites dog story.
William Randolph Hearst must be rolling in his grave.
They worked so hard to ignore the 'man EATS dog' story back in 2012, and noticing an actual 'man bites dog' story would undo all that work.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/4606022.stm
Steve, to you, that was the most newsworthy day of all.
But to the Florida Man, it was Tuesday.
Why would William Randolph Hearst be rolling in his grave? Wasn’t he responsible for massive amounts of fake news? Hey, if it helps sell the rag and influence outcomes, how can it be bad?
Her Mom is from Cameroon, she likes money, and Tucker bit her hard ;
Mrs. Ambamb is also a true giant of public speaking.
And it makes perfect sense for the harambeoid that advocates gibarations for slavery, to begin her speech with ” I HATE MATH ” sentence:
Her momma is a pharmacist from Cameroon, she likes money, and Rabid Tucker bit her hard where it hurts the most ;
Mrs. Ambamb is also a true giant of public speaking.
And it makes perfect sense for the harambeoid that advocates gibarations for slavery, to begin her speech with ” I HATE MATH ” sentence:
Can you imagine Mrs. HarAmbambe & Unpologetic Ziad Ul Hack, together tying the knot on the noose around America’s future?
(Complete tangent)
I recall hearing, some years on NYC’s infamous Radio Pacifica outlet WBAI, Playtell Benjamin casually refer- to Whites as “crackers” in one of his rants. (No need to even mention the blatant double-standard evidenced by that, as it is one obviously all-too familiar to iSteve readers.) The transparently clownish Benjamin could perhaps be described as a much older but less restrained and respectable version of Ta Nehisi Coates. I also recall Benjamin reciting a tribute, ostensibly to his mother, but in which it sounded to me as if he managed to praise himself more than her.
My favorite Florida story from that time was about a lady who won the Lottery, and attempted to fulfil a long sought ambition of murdering her son in law with her now ample funds. Her misfortune was to reach out to an undercover cop posing as a hit man. Seemed to happen a lot back then.Replies: @Dissident, @Anonymous
Second paragraph sounds almost exactly like the plot of any number of old time radio detective show episodes. Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar, being an example that immediately comes to mind.
My favorite Florida story from that time was about a lady who won the Lottery, and attempted to fulfil a long sought ambition of murdering her son in law with her now ample funds. Her misfortune was to reach out to an undercover cop posing as a hit man. Seemed to happen a lot back then.Replies: @Dissident, @Anonymous
Or they had to leave Ohio because the bikers had let it be known they had impersonated a locomotive:
I don’t know.
They worked so hard to ignore the ‘man EATS dog’ story back in 2012, and noticing an actual ‘man bites dog’ story would undo all that work.
Biting a dog’s ears is in no way equivalent to paddling it on the bottom with a rolled up newspaper.
hahahahaaaa! I do want this particular Steve post to be the lowest responses evah (bc I love animals more than people, well, strangers) but, I just have to add: horses CAN be so gay….confused – like dogs who hump sofas, or your leg…bc they are animals – race horses, very controlled, very contained (by humans), very young animals.
I worked with race horses at a young age (14) for many years (summer jobs) and, weirdly, race horses were fine with dh:ing other males (sometimes, when put out-to-pasture, with other males)…they were stallions, so could not be “put-out” with mares, duh.
Race horses, in particular, are very pampered compared to any other type of horse today…or any animals, period. Stallions and mares race together, as do very rare geldings. Now, this might be an interesting post for Steve to explore: the historical winnings of mares, stallions and geldings…which was the fastest?; earned the most?
Objectively speaking (and once we confirm no injury to the dog), it is almost precisely the same thing. However I will grant you that biting is probably more effective, since you’re then speaking the dog’s language, so to speak.