Cool English Pseudonyms
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One incredible piece of evidence submitted in the case against U.S. fugitive Nicholas Rossi/ Alahverdian, who maintains that he is really a British man named Arthur Knight, is a notebook allegedly belonging to Rossi containing what appears to be a list of potential pseudonyms https://t.co/5ZxN6Cv9Lr pic.twitter.com/ViQb2BJi1k
— Sir Reece Wells – the villain of the piece (@stringsandink) April 25, 2023
“Arthur Knight” forgot such cool English pseudonyms as:
Sir Lancelot Table
Henry King
Newton Darwin Maxwell
Disraeli Clapton
Hamlet Lear
Evelyn Orwell
Fleming Bond
Grant Cary
Clive Rhodes
Lloyd Gladstone Pitt
Sir Laurence Gielgud
W. Somerset Dickens
Nelson Wellington
Stanley Livingston
Ringo Jagger
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Not terribly UK, but I did like when Homer Simpson became Max Power.
He should have gone with Bond, James Bond.
Westminster Buckingham
Isn’t his real surname Armenian? A piece of work, to put it kindly.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Alahverdian
Holy shit, the rise of social media in the late 2000s/early 2010s has been the rise of people with cluster B personality disorders and political/social movements to implicitly validate their craziness. I have never seen a person with a more insane wikipedia page.
This is where ‘cancel culture’ and the general insanity from 2014 onwards has come from.
Doubtless also his girlfriend, whose actual name is Knight also has a cluster B disorder.
I also love the entirely pointless picture of him with Mike Pence in 2013 in his wikipedia article.
I'm reminded of Scott Alexander's quite funny review of _On_The_Road_ where he points out if you strip away all the "spiritual" mush Kerouac and Cassidy were doing exactly this sort of serial exploitation of the naive--and gloating about it. First couple paragraphs:https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/02/book-review-on-the-road/Replies: @Steve Sailer, @AceDeuce
Joseph ‘Bum’ Farto was a real life villain, presumably Hispanic in origin, a corrupt politician and Fire Chief in Florida.
There was a real life Captain Pine-Coffin in the British army, who, alas fell in the Battle of the Somme.
Less than a week later he was introduced as the new coach at Auburn.
This is the man who defeated Jeff Sessions in the primary.Replies: @Wokechoke
I always thought the best of these kind of names was the real-life man of mystery Monty Woodhouse, who got mixed up in Iran with Kermit Roosevelt, which would be a great American pseudonym.
Disraeli “Gears” Clapton
BEEF HARDCHUNK
Ron Mexico will never be topped .
@hodag sez...
"Ron Mexico will never be topped."
Sorry dude, but Thomas Pynchon already aced you back in 1973 with the much funnier "Roger Mexico" in Gravity's Rainbow. As a cherry on top, I think the character's girlfriend was named Jessica Christmas.
Somebody (not me) on the internet used to use, "Victor Franklstein" which I thought was pretty good. I used to be the chief assistant to the head of surgery at a big hospital, and the guy's name was Victor Frankel. Almost half my job consisted of writing very polite letters to people from all over the world, basically saying "I am sure your WW2 story is very weepy too, but this Victor Frankl is not your "Man's Search for Meaning" guy. But if you ever need thoracic surgery...."Replies: @Cortes, @Renard
These are some funny monikers. Still, my favorite moniker is Unz’s own:
OT – in your twitter link to your review of Edward J Epstein’s career, you say
So that’s Sir Hugh and Antonia Fraser, but which daughter? Rebecca, Natasha or Flora?
Because Flora, the historian… ” She later married Peter Soros, a nephew of American currency speculator and philanthropist George Soros, with whom she has two children. Fraser and Soros separated in 2009.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flora_Fraser_(writer)
How deep does this rabbit hole go?
Donjon Portcullis
Bob Zurunkle
Dan Yelk Raig
Rick Adilly Volare
Mike Pence
Cliff Sovdovor
Nelson Scollum
Favorite single malt:
Wogsby Ghinnat Callegh
Vann C. Thatt
Gladstone Breetour
Dick Riding
E. Stanglier
Magnum Carter
Mel Vernhills
Ivan Hoe
Lorne Dawnbridge
Thatcher Cotswold
Thomm Asskink Ayde
Pipp CheeryoughReplies: @Corpse Tooth, @Jenner Ickham Errican
Wow, those are all incredibly lame. Robert Hood? He could at least have gone with something like Reed Capuchin, and made us do a little werk. No wonder the UK is defunct.
@hodag sez…
“Ron Mexico will never be topped.”
Sorry dude, but Thomas Pynchon already aced you back in 1973 with the much funnier “Roger Mexico” in Gravity’s Rainbow. As a cherry on top, I think the character’s girlfriend was named Jessica Christmas.
Somebody (not me) on the internet used to use, “Victor Franklstein” which I thought was pretty good. I used to be the chief assistant to the head of surgery at a big hospital, and the guy’s name was Victor Frankel. Almost half my job consisted of writing very polite letters to people from all over the world, basically saying “I am sure your WW2 story is very weepy too, but this Victor Frankl is not your “Man’s Search for Meaning” guy. But if you ever need thoracic surgery….”
I disagree about the best character name. Undercover cop Del Capslock hides in plain sight in many of John Sandford’s “Prey” novels.
Alistair Buckingham, I presume.
Oh, where are the good ol’ times when Jews preferred to switch their names to those of Norman aristocrats like Sinclair or Montague – or Scots-Irish names like Carmichael. There’s a degression in taste.
…….Actually those are all pretty good names ,I especially like Benjamin Big.
Fognatious Quosh, Wistopher Pimpernell–there’s million of ’em.
Stanley Livingston was the zookeeper on “Tennessee Tuxedo”.
Who can forget Carlos Danger or Pierre Delecto?
He’s a born stinker for sure. Though, I do think the impact of such personalities has increased for much longer than social media has existed. This guy’s pattern of moving around from place to place shaking off his past and preying on the naive is only possible because of the (declining but still) exceptional freedom, anonymity, and high social trust of modern Western life. Pre industrial/sexual revolutions, this dude would have still been bad news but for a much smaller number of people. His family would be stuck with him, but others would know his deal and be on guard. If he moved, he would need to build “social credit” before anyone would give him money or let him near their daughter.
I’m reminded of Scott Alexander’s quite funny review of _On_The_Road_ where he points out if you strip away all the “spiritual” mush Kerouac and Cassidy were doing exactly this sort of serial exploitation of the naive–and gloating about it. First couple paragraphs:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/02/book-review-on-the-road/
“I, for example, generally call myself Ephraim Gadsby of The Nasturtiums, Jubilee Road, Streatham Common. I don’t know why. Just a whim.”
Lynn Z. Buckingham
https://live.staticflickr.com/7247/7592407952_b479016cb3_b.jpg
1968 Austin CambridgeReplies: @Bill Jones, @Bill Jones, @Wokechoke
@hodag sez...
"Ron Mexico will never be topped."
Sorry dude, but Thomas Pynchon already aced you back in 1973 with the much funnier "Roger Mexico" in Gravity's Rainbow. As a cherry on top, I think the character's girlfriend was named Jessica Christmas.
Somebody (not me) on the internet used to use, "Victor Franklstein" which I thought was pretty good. I used to be the chief assistant to the head of surgery at a big hospital, and the guy's name was Victor Frankel. Almost half my job consisted of writing very polite letters to people from all over the world, basically saying "I am sure your WW2 story is very weepy too, but this Victor Frankl is not your "Man's Search for Meaning" guy. But if you ever need thoracic surgery...."Replies: @Cortes, @Renard
Thanks for the Frankl story.
I disagree about the best character name. Undercover cop Del Capslock hides in plain sight in many of John Sandford’s “Prey” novels.
Rowan Table, rather than Sir Lancelot, Shirley.
Peregrine Worsthorne, Marmaduke Hussey and Auberon Waugh should’ve formed a supergroup called The Improbables.
Bob Zurunkle
Dan Yelk Raig
Rick Adilly Volare
Mike Pence
Cliff Sovdovor
Nelson Scollum
Favorite single malt:
Wogsby Ghinnat CalleghReplies: @Jenner Ickham Errican
More Cool English Pseudonyms :
Lou Garderobe
Vann C. Thatt
Gladstone Breetour
Dick Riding
E. Stanglier
Magnum Carter
Mel Vernhills
Ivan Hoe
Lorne Dawnbridge
Thatcher Cotswold
Thomm Asskink Ayde
Pipp Cheeryough
Norman Gallivant
Algonn Titsup
Jay Nauston
Braughn Teasisster
Mike Engdom Forrahorce
Aleister Wilde… Oscar Crowley… Jimmy Page approved!
Vann C. Thatt
Gladstone Breetour
Dick Riding
E. Stanglier
Magnum Carter
Mel Vernhills
Ivan Hoe
Lorne Dawnbridge
Thatcher Cotswold
Thomm Asskink Ayde
Pipp CheeryoughReplies: @Corpse Tooth, @Jenner Ickham Errican
You’re riding a wave. Have another cuppa caffeine to help squeeze out a few more to complete your trilogy.
Raymond Luxury Yacht, pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove.
Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel
Jethro Q. Walrustitty
and definitely not against the winner,
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northcott Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mainwaring (hoot, 'whoop') Smith
Thanks for giving me a laugh at the end of a tough day!
Austin Cambridge
http://car-from-uk.com/ebay/carphotos/full/ebay120668.jpgReplies: @YetAnotherAnon
Badge engineering isn't a new thing.
http://car-from-uk.com/ebay/carphotos/full/ebay120668.jpgReplies: @Buzz Mohawk
This story made my day. Funniest thing ever
N. Perrins Worcestershire
Pronounced “Wooster Sauce”
Emanuel Acton de pujol(pronounced poo hole for those of you who never took spanish) is the gay self diddling half Argentinian cousin that Banksy never takes to his art shows any more!
@ stevesailor p.s. please share this hilarious character with your audience by reprinting it in your column… he was originally going to be my artists persona..personally… but since Banksy doesn’t speak to him any more…I will have to sell my works at the local farmers market by some other colorful name. This argentine dynamo with the stinky finger is currently unemployable so please please please accept him as my gift of disused intellectual property and share him with all for laughs…
Boaty McBoatface.
To make it Authentic Modern English, you need a few South-Asian type names, like
Sunetra Sunak
Lord Rama Srivanan Krishna
etc.
Raymond Luxury Yacht
pronounced Throat Warbler Mangrove
Edit: Darn… just saw Ghost of Bull Mosse’s comment.
And this English Pill isn’t a pseudonym, it’s his real name.
.
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2023-04-26/silence-peasants-bank-england-tells-britons-just-accept-being-worse
I still don’t think he’s got a chance against:
Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-OlĂ©-Biscuitbarrel
Jethro Q. Walrustitty
and definitely not against the winner,
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northcott Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway’ Barton Mainwaring (hoot, ‘whoop’) Smith
https://live.staticflickr.com/7247/7592407952_b479016cb3_b.jpg
1968 Austin CambridgeReplies: @Bill Jones, @Bill Jones, @Wokechoke
I owned the 1968 rival, the Morris Oxford.
Jack Hammer. Oops, was thinking porn names.
https://live.staticflickr.com/7247/7592407952_b479016cb3_b.jpg
1968 Austin CambridgeReplies: @Bill Jones, @Bill Jones, @Wokechoke
I owned the 1968 rival, the Morris Oxford.
Badge engineering isn’t a new thing.
Hugh Fry
G.K Shaw
John Ronald Reul Lewis
Bramwell Elliot
Boris Ustinov
Victor Albert
Farraday Watt
Watson Crick
Edward Gilpin
Robert Barret
Berrand Moore
Samuel Boswell
Addison Steele
Herbert Allen Waley
Vann C. Thatt
Gladstone Breetour
Dick Riding
E. Stanglier
Magnum Carter
Mel Vernhills
Ivan Hoe
Lorne Dawnbridge
Thatcher Cotswold
Thomm Asskink Ayde
Pipp CheeryoughReplies: @Corpse Tooth, @Jenner Ickham Errican
Even More Cool English Pseudonyms :
Johnnie Swocky Mollyponce
Norman Gallivant
Algonn Titsup
Jay Nauston
Braughn Teasisster
Mike Engdom Forrahorce
Emma Austen
Jane Peele
Fanny Windemeere
Harriet Marple
Wendy Peters
Aphra Flanders
Juliet Montagu Summers
Mary Percy
Henrietta Aquitaine
Georgia Brunswick
Beatrix Rowling
Betty Raleigh
Caroline Southey
Francesca Bacon
Viola Coe
Molly DeFoe
Guinnevere Paltrow
Rosemary Pygg
I am aware Ms. Windemeere’s first name sounds vulgar to real Brits.
Reverend Fulton Throttle v Cardinal Cameron Shaft.
Jonathan Oxford or the bargain basement substitute Sebastian Cambridge.
https://live.staticflickr.com/7247/7592407952_b479016cb3_b.jpg
1968 Austin CambridgeReplies: @Bill Jones, @Bill Jones, @Wokechoke
Morris Oxford
I’ve always found that particular Anglicism peculiarly irritating. I mean, I’m prepared to endure a certain amount of bullshit from Airstrip One, but there is a limit.
You don’t want us to pronounce ‘Worcestershire Sauce,’ ‘Worcestershire Sauce’?
Please. Come World War Three, no Bundles for Britain. That’s IT.
Would “Rammitt Balldeep” count now that the UK is all multiculti?
St John St John. Stamford Chelsea. Charlton Fulham. Dennis Millwall. Alexandra Crystal-Palace. Olympia Kensington. Brixton Newcross. Parker Hyde-Mayfair. Shepard Bush. Cannon St Paul. Hart Lane. Although these are a jumble of Tubestop/Football aliases so there’s also the silly: Wembley Wimbledon.
This is more-or-less what another American, Charlton Heston (John Carter) did btw. Two place names that can be associated with London.
PS : Abbie Rhodes, West Hamm, Sloane Stepney, Wheatley Maidenhead, Basildon Bond, Angel Finsbury, Langley Reading or Richmond Kew.
Honorable mention should go to all those early rockers with American-sounding stage names:
Hank Marvin (Brian Robson Rankin)
Billy J Kramer (William Howard Ashton)
Billy Fury (Ronald Wycherly)
Wayne Fontana (Glyn Geoffrey Ellis)
Carl Wayne (Colin David Tooley)
Cliff Richard (Harry Roger Webb)
Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey)
David Bowie (one of five David Joneses active in the UK music biz of the day, including the future Monkee)
There are others who’ve slipped my mind at the moment.
Jeff Beck and Jeff Lynne use the American spelling, and Lynne was actually christened Jeffrey.
Marty Wilde (Reginald Leonard Smith), Reg Presley (Reginald Maurice Ball), Rory Storm (Alan Ernest Caldwell), and Georgie Fame (Clive Powell) all at least sound fairly British Isles. The story behind the last’s name change is amusing.
Bob Loblaw?
The junior senator from Alabama has a similar nickname, “Pine Box” from when he told reporters who asked whether he was going to leave Ol’ Miss for a football coaching job in another state that he was leaving Mississippi only in a pine box.
Less than a week later he was introduced as the new coach at Auburn.
This is the man who defeated Jeff Sessions in the primary.
https://twitter.com/AporiaMagazine/status/1650865566377295882
When my cousin moved to a fancy retirement/nursing complex called Westminster Canterbury, I told him it was an odd choice of name, what with “bury” for people waiting to die, and “canter” when some can barely walk.
I'm reminded of Scott Alexander's quite funny review of _On_The_Road_ where he points out if you strip away all the "spiritual" mush Kerouac and Cassidy were doing exactly this sort of serial exploitation of the naive--and gloating about it. First couple paragraphs:https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/02/book-review-on-the-road/Replies: @Steve Sailer, @AceDeuce
America around 1900 was full of guys who had been a doctor in Topeka, a lawyer in Sheboygan, and a musical instrument salesman in River City.
One real English name I’m quite fond of is ‘Ralph Dodd’ – the name of a real life eminent English civil engineer of the 18th century famous for building canals and the like.
An oddly satisfying, duo syllable hard, punchy, straight to the point sort of name, much as I imagine the esteemed Mr. Dodd himself to be.
@hodag sez...
"Ron Mexico will never be topped."
Sorry dude, but Thomas Pynchon already aced you back in 1973 with the much funnier "Roger Mexico" in Gravity's Rainbow. As a cherry on top, I think the character's girlfriend was named Jessica Christmas.
Somebody (not me) on the internet used to use, "Victor Franklstein" which I thought was pretty good. I used to be the chief assistant to the head of surgery at a big hospital, and the guy's name was Victor Frankel. Almost half my job consisted of writing very polite letters to people from all over the world, basically saying "I am sure your WW2 story is very weepy too, but this Victor Frankl is not your "Man's Search for Meaning" guy. But if you ever need thoracic surgery...."Replies: @Cortes, @Renard
🙂
I'm reminded of Scott Alexander's quite funny review of _On_The_Road_ where he points out if you strip away all the "spiritual" mush Kerouac and Cassidy were doing exactly this sort of serial exploitation of the naive--and gloating about it. First couple paragraphs:https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/02/book-review-on-the-road/Replies: @Steve Sailer, @AceDeuce
Regarding Kerouac’s work, Truman Capote commented: “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”
Father Todd Unctious.
Eustace H. Plimsoll, of The Laburnums, Alleyn Road, West Dulwich.
Worked great at the Vine Street police station.
Badge engineering isn't a new thing.
http://car-from-uk.com/ebay/carphotos/full/ebay120668.jpgReplies: @Buzz Mohawk
That’s wonderful. How was the car?
From over here, when we hear Oxford and Cambridge, we think of renowned universities, or the places, but certainly not automobiles. It sounds like driving a Ford Harvard or a Chevrolet Yale.
http://car-from-uk.com/ebay/carphotos/full/ebay120668.jpgReplies: @YetAnotherAnon
Which hills behind it? Bit Malverns-ish but not quite? Welsh borders?
Our family dentist in the 1970s – 80s Colorado mountains was an exuberantly proud Jayhawk from the University of Kansas. When I got to Connecticut in the 1990s, my dentist in Westport looked in my mouth and said, “You have what we call midwestern dentistry.”
The old family dentist, an antique car collector who lived on a small ranch behind our property, looked and talked like a country version of Jim Backus — high on something. We wondered if he got into the medicine or was just doing the coke that was popular in those days.
He built his own office building and got overextended financially, so my father gave him a personal loan on very generous terms to keep him afloat. One morning when I had an appointment with him, he picked me up on his way to work in his red Mercedes 450SLC.
Ranulph Luxury-Yacht
Less than a week later he was introduced as the new coach at Auburn.
This is the man who defeated Jeff Sessions in the primary.Replies: @Wokechoke
Major K T Darling
Not English names, but it is hard to beat the pseudonyms “Bronze Age Pervert” and “Innocent X”.
Pierre Delecto…..?
I still miss Asscheeks of Saturn.
Walker Planck.