Ann Coulter gives hope for Presidential comedy, which has been in dire straits since GW Bush left office:
ANN COULTER 28 Oct 2020
Ladies and gentlemen, members of the fairer sex, the unfair sex, the transgenders, queers, what have you.
Women and gentlemen!
I’ve known women — my wife, my sister — no, that’s my wife! I mean my wife over here. The fat one.
I mean: The fact is, they switched on me!
Anyway, standing here today on the steps of the capitol of Wilmington — I should say, standing here today on the steps of the Capitol in the state of Washington, as we do every year, we have this peaceful transfer of power — I should say, every four years.
Which is a Big F—ing Deal! I used to say that to Barack all the time.
I see him out there! He’s the articulate, bright and clean one.
As I was coming over here on this brisk June day, I started thinking, why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university? My ancestors, Welsh coal miners, would come up after 12 hours underground and play cricket for hours. Were they not smart? Were they not strong, mate?
And so, as I look out at this wonderful crowd — what’s that from the fella in the back? You say I’m not Welsh and my father was a Chevrolet dealer in Wilmington?
Listen, you lying dog-faced pony soldier — I have a much higher I.Q. than you do! I went to law school on a full academic scholarship and ended up in the top half of my class. I got three degrees in college and was voted the “outstanding student” in the political science department.
What I mean to say is that it was a financial scholarship, I wasn’t voted the “outstanding student,” and I was only in the top half of the bottom 10 students.
No, I haven’t taken an I.Q. test. Why the hell would I take a test? Come on, man. That is like saying you — did you take a test whether you’re taking cocaine or not? What do you think? Are you a junkie?
Look, folks, kids today have advantages I didn’t have. Their parents play the radio, make sure they have the record player on at night. My parents couldn’t play the record player. They were in the mines.
And I remember my pop, a Chevrolet dealer in Wilmington, telling me in 1962, as I was going off to work at an African American swimming pool — we called them “African Americans” back then — and we saw two guys kissing each other. He said to me: “Joey, they love each other.”
Read the whole thing there and you can follow the links to the numerous actual quotes from Joe.
Also, see this quiz — “Who Said It? Joe Biden or Michael Scott?” on the Prides of Scranton.