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Bee: "New Google Technology Autocorrects Users' Thoughts"
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… “Let’s say you start thinking there may be some kind of inherent biological difference between men and women,” Google employee Ryan Vo said in a live demo of the new tech. “Immediately, the thought suggestion program in any nearby Google device, app, or service will scrub the idea of inherent gender differences and replace them with the sure knowledge that there are at least three hundred different genders in existence, and always has been.”

“Google will begin rebuilding your mind, piece by piece,” he added to the cheers and applause of the tech bloggers and industry professionals gathered.

According to the spokesperson, Google is also utilizing crack teams of ex-military personnel to round up anyone who resists the new technology, taking them to a new portion of Google’s campus known as the “Department of Love” for questioning, reconditioning, and re-introduction into civilized society.

 
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  1. One day, The Bee won’t be satire.

    • Replies: @Lars Porsena
    Lately they have been averaging about 6 months.
    , @The preferred nomenclature is...
    Almost there.

    Serious question: after the 2020 "election" is captured and the demoncrat is installed, what are the chances (I'm looking for %) that true life Soviet level gulags will be instituted for us deplorables.

    Last question, will the deplorables actually resist in mass. Or will the lone wolves be picked off spectacularly one at a time.
    , @Bard of Bumperstickers
    It isn't satire.
    , @MrLiberty
    It and the Onion are already far more accurate than 90% of the mainstream media.
  2. When is the Babylon Bee itself going to get the gimlet eye from the clickbait hacks at the Times, the Post, et al?

    • Replies: @Paul Jolliffe
    Varsicule asked "When is the Babylon Bee itself going to get the gimlet eye from the clickbait hacks at the Times, the Post, et al?"

    When it criticizes the endless wars of the American Military/Industrial/Intelligence machine and/or it notices the cultural dominance of a particular ethnicity in Hollywood, Wall Street, the MSM and Congress and/or it questions the "official" narrative of 9-11 or any other recent Deep State op.
    , @Desiderius
    Snoops has already been on them.
  3. @Redneck farmer
    One day, The Bee won't be satire.

    Lately they have been averaging about 6 months.

  4. What happened in Patchogue Long Island?

    Answer:DIE FUCKING WHITEY DIE!!!!….The Artistic handiwork of the Patchogue Antifa….

  5. Would you like to
    “drive programmatic and systemic solutions to advance the careers of [Google’s] critical underrepresented minority (URM) talent.”?

    Or perhaps “actualize Google’s commitment to fairness and equity.”?

    Apply to be a progression equity strategist today!

    https://careers.google.com/jobs/results/91649919191786182-progression-equity-strategist/

  6. I keep thinking Sacramento Bee every time you write posts on these guys. Just from your handful of funny, but quickly-coming-true excerpts, they sound like a Libertarian Onion.

  7. @Redneck farmer
    One day, The Bee won't be satire.

    Almost there.

    Serious question: after the 2020 “election” is captured and the demoncrat is installed, what are the chances (I’m looking for %) that true life Soviet level gulags will be instituted for us deplorables.

    Last question, will the deplorables actually resist in mass. Or will the lone wolves be picked off spectacularly one at a time.

    • Replies: @Whiskey
    Gulag chance at 80% . Min. But it will be a Chinese style virtual gulag. No messy and expensive camps. Just you bank account seized by the Feds. Your car and home and possessions to be given to immigrants. Vibrant immigrants. Like China you will not be allowed to buy anything or do anything if you are on the White registry.

    You'll be under a bridge at night like me. And assigned to some work scheme to keep the lights running ... eventually. Maybe. The first phase will be getting rid of White men in every job. After a collapse and China picking off US territory like Hawaii we will be thought of as marginally useful like Stalins WWII embrace of nationalism.

    No there will be little fight back. White Women will be critically exempt at first and they will encourage their men to surrender. Then promptly take up with the new overlords. This will be very evident in the police and military.

    The only wildcard is if Becky starts to get it early and/or the non White leadership purges White men very early and widely from the military and police.

    Ultimately anti White is enforced by guns of cops and military. If AOC and Omar lead the effort then yes active fighting.
  8. another joke that hinges around having to deal with having terrible opinions. conservatives are on fire lately

    Does anyone actually think the Babylon Bee is funny

    • Troll: ScarletNumber
    • Replies: @TWS
    Like not remembering if you're a man or a woman, married or not straight or gay? Like not remembering which name you've cut and pasted under, you mean like that?
    , @Tusk
    TD, you should do stand-up. Your short quips are perfect for the liberal audience, you could really get a career going.
    , @Digital Samizdat

    Does anyone actually think the Babylon Bee is funny
     
    Personally, I find the BB almost prophetic.
  9. Yes. The Babylon Bee is very funny in a terrifying “I hope this isn’t giving our progressive overlords any more ideas” sort of way.

    What’s really funny is your fellow doctrinaire Marxist retards at Snopes have started fact checking the Bee.

  10. @Tiny Duck
    another joke that hinges around having to deal with having terrible opinions. conservatives are on fire lately

    Does anyone actually think the Babylon Bee is funny

    Like not remembering if you’re a man or a woman, married or not straight or gay? Like not remembering which name you’ve cut and pasted under, you mean like that?

  11. So how long until Snopes puts out an article stating this is false?

    Remember that Google’s Autocomplete asks users to “report inappropriate predictions”. How can a prediction be inappropriate?

    • Replies: @J.Ross
    Maybe if one predicted sexy parties.
    http://www.gifcrap.com/g2data/albums/Misc/Stewie_s%20sexy%20party.gif
  12. Saw these two topic titles together:

    Bee: “New Google Technology Autocorrects Users’ Thoughts”

    “The Day Shall Come”

    Indeed, so it shall.

  13. @Tiny Duck
    another joke that hinges around having to deal with having terrible opinions. conservatives are on fire lately

    Does anyone actually think the Babylon Bee is funny

    TD, you should do stand-up. Your short quips are perfect for the liberal audience, you could really get a career going.

  14. @ScarletNumber
    So how long until Snopes puts out an article stating this is false?

    Remember that Google's Autocomplete asks users to "report inappropriate predictions". How can a prediction be inappropriate?

    Maybe if one predicted sexy parties.

  15. @Tiny Duck
    another joke that hinges around having to deal with having terrible opinions. conservatives are on fire lately

    Does anyone actually think the Babylon Bee is funny

    Does anyone actually think the Babylon Bee is funny

    Personally, I find the BB almost prophetic.

  16. @Redneck farmer
    One day, The Bee won't be satire.

    It isn’t satire.

  17. @varsicule
    When is the Babylon Bee itself going to get the gimlet eye from the clickbait hacks at the Times, the Post, et al?

    Varsicule asked “When is the Babylon Bee itself going to get the gimlet eye from the clickbait hacks at the Times, the Post, et al?”

    When it criticizes the endless wars of the American Military/Industrial/Intelligence machine and/or it notices the cultural dominance of a particular ethnicity in Hollywood, Wall Street, the MSM and Congress and/or it questions the “official” narrative of 9-11 or any other recent Deep State op.

    • Replies: @FPD72
    I’ve read several items in the Bee satirizing American military adventurism, one of which referenced John Bolton in particular.

    One out of two ain’t bad.
  18. @Redneck farmer
    One day, The Bee won't be satire.

    It and the Onion are already far more accurate than 90% of the mainstream media.

  19. @The preferred nomenclature is...
    Almost there.

    Serious question: after the 2020 "election" is captured and the demoncrat is installed, what are the chances (I'm looking for %) that true life Soviet level gulags will be instituted for us deplorables.

    Last question, will the deplorables actually resist in mass. Or will the lone wolves be picked off spectacularly one at a time.

    Gulag chance at 80% . Min. But it will be a Chinese style virtual gulag. No messy and expensive camps. Just you bank account seized by the Feds. Your car and home and possessions to be given to immigrants. Vibrant immigrants. Like China you will not be allowed to buy anything or do anything if you are on the White registry.

    You’ll be under a bridge at night like me. And assigned to some work scheme to keep the lights running … eventually. Maybe. The first phase will be getting rid of White men in every job. After a collapse and China picking off US territory like Hawaii we will be thought of as marginally useful like Stalins WWII embrace of nationalism.

    No there will be little fight back. White Women will be critically exempt at first and they will encourage their men to surrender. Then promptly take up with the new overlords. This will be very evident in the police and military.

    The only wildcard is if Becky starts to get it early and/or the non White leadership purges White men very early and widely from the military and police.

    Ultimately anti White is enforced by guns of cops and military. If AOC and Omar lead the effort then yes active fighting.

  20. @varsicule
    When is the Babylon Bee itself going to get the gimlet eye from the clickbait hacks at the Times, the Post, et al?

    Snoops has already been on them.

  21. @Paul Jolliffe
    Varsicule asked "When is the Babylon Bee itself going to get the gimlet eye from the clickbait hacks at the Times, the Post, et al?"

    When it criticizes the endless wars of the American Military/Industrial/Intelligence machine and/or it notices the cultural dominance of a particular ethnicity in Hollywood, Wall Street, the MSM and Congress and/or it questions the "official" narrative of 9-11 or any other recent Deep State op.

    I’ve read several items in the Bee satirizing American military adventurism, one of which referenced John Bolton in particular.

    One out of two ain’t bad.

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