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Controversy has raged for decades in academia as to whether the Maya of ancient Mesoamerica independently invented writing and a sophisticated number system, with many arguing that European influence must have been involved. The recent discovery of carvings, such as the one above, in the hitherto unexplored recesses of the Chac Mool Cenote (a water-filled cave) in Tulum, Mexico, seems to establish European genetic influence.
The facial features clearly are not Mesoamerican. According to Dr. Alejandro Puracaca of the Universidad de San Juan Cosala, of Jalisco, Mexico and his colleague Raquitica Ramanujan of Oxford, writing in the Journal of Anthropological Propriety.
According to Dr. Puracaca, “The lack of the epicanthic fold in the carving establishes beyond doubt that the male depicted was not Mesoamerican, since the Amerinds lacked the fold as well, but of Nordic origin, consistent with Viking admixture. The interbreeding with a Nordic genome explains the development of a vigesimal exponential number system by the aborigines, although Europe never succeeded in this. This is a classic example of retrogeny or inverse causality, in which a technology springs in a primitive group from a more advanced people who never invented it.”
This further carving, also found 300 meters back in Chac Mool, is thought to be Tloxyproctyl, the Aztec god of horror and feathers, ultimately derived from Late Drosophiletic mythology, who, like the Greek Medusa, could reduce mortals to a sort of coma or deep sleep just by looking at them. This power is shared by many politicians of clear Eurowhite ancestry, suggesting genomic interlinkage. Cf. Medusa in Greek mythology.
However, there is some dispute regarding this in academic circles. Dr. Lupita Perez de los Calamares Fritas, of the Universidad de Guacala Norteña, argues that the figurine represents proto-Bacchus as the expression arguably represents a hangover afflicting the wine god following a bacchanal.
Perhaps the most fascinating in terms of evolutionary provenance is the above is presumed—though this is disputed—to be Carcajada, the goddess of fertility. According to N. J. Balacera, writing in H eterophletic Mutability Review, this is plausible since the statuette suggests interbreeding between the Maya and fish. This would explain large-scale construction by the Maya.
In terms of Mesoamerican genomics, most interesting is this ceramic mask, found in 1953 in Betabel, Yucatan, by the team of Dr. Gustavo Krankenhaus of Stanford. The provenance is clearly African though this has been denied by White Nationalist pseudoscientists. The towel is placed to conceal damage. There has been some Photoshopping to minimize cracks and other minor damage so as to show how it must have appeared during the Late Paleoprocrustean Period when it was thought to be made. Just as recent research has shown that the ancient Greeks were actually African, it now seems that the Maya also sprang at least in part from Africa, most likely from the Wunxputl Xonti tribes of modern Tanzania. This is shown conclusively by evolutionary homology, such as that both Xonti and Maya had two arms and legs. (photo courtesy Annals of the Society for Evolutionary Piety, Vol. 13, pp. xxiii)
Also from Chac Mool, Wunxputl, the goddess of sunburn and odd blue oral things. Cf. Bacchus or perhaps Fruntus in Greek mythology of the Early Myopean period, later combined by physical syncretism into Janus, the two-faced deity.
Of course another explanation or these relics is that someone left a quantity of plastalina, sort of plastic modeling clay, on our kitchen counter and Violeta started doodling with it while waiting for something to cook. I find this account inherently uninteresting and so will stick with geogenetics. That she can do these things with no training illustrates my genius for marrying women smarter that I am. (Readers will cackle that many small mammals and some plants meet this standard. Pfah. What do they know?)
Next: I have received hundreds of letters asking what happens in the Reed-Gonzalez household on an average day (or would have received them if I had, which is close enough in today’s journalism). Anyway, bats and hummingbirds. Our house is the Mexican kind, with the yard in the middle of the house instead of the house in the middle of the yard. Violeta likes hummingbirds, as do I since they are delightful creatures that never talk about inclusion. She hung a sugar-water dangle-thing for them, and they came to eat. They proceeded to flash and gleam in implausible colors, as is fit for them, and we watched, and they ate, and all was well until one flew into the domed skylight in a bathroom and kept flying desperately trying to go through the glass until it dropped to the floor, half dead with exhaustion.
Finding it, Violeta took the beastling, barely palpitating, and put it next to a plate of sugar water. It seemed dazed and resigned to ending its earthly sojourn, but then Sensed Something. Could it be? Yes, it was. It stuck out its proboscis, or beak, or straw, or whatever it is that hummingbirds have. Sccccchhhhlurrrrps. I have seen bilge pumps with less capacity and enthusiasm. It more or less sat up, looked around, considered and then—flit—hummed aloft in good repair. Mission accomplished.
OK, bats. You may wonder how we came to bats, or why you need to know about them. Well, you just do. Not everything in this world is explicable.
When you live in a house with the yard in the middle, your inner bedroom wall, and for that matter of the living room, can consist of sliding glass doors. If you want privacy against people who aren’t there anyway, you pull the curtains. So it was after dark and Vi was looking out through the wall and thought she saw things flittering around the hummingbird dangle-thing. Intrigued, she watched more closely. Bats, six or eight of them, dancing in air and generally showing off. Night by night the throng grew, until she swears there must be thirty or forty. (Until you have tried to count flying bats, you have little idea of what “difficult” means.) They were also eating the sugar water from the dangle-thing since in the morning it was as dry as an English wit.
This may not strike you as crucial to, say, the international financial system, or NATO, or some other depressing thing. Yet it was the first time in what has somehow gotten to be a long life that I had ever had bats. Dark, small, agile shadows against the sky. I saw no reason to be unpleasantly judgemental about them. They weren’t Nazgul or anything, probably anyway and, since they liked sugar, they couldn’t be vampires unless they preyed on diabetics. They flew high enough that our two felines, Cat and Other Cat, posed no danger.
There you have it in one short column, an explanation of human evolution and of Fred’s bats, a marvel of compaction.
Quick ‘nuther topic: Because I sometimes write about technology in China, about which I know a reasonable amount, readers sometimes think I am an authority on Chinese society, which I assuredly am not. A common question involves repression in Xian Jiang and China in general. I have exactly zero personal experience of such repression, but others know more. For example:
The Perfect Police State, by Geoffrey Cain. Repression by technology in Xin Jiang. Horrifying, good picture of what repressive technology can do. Well worth reading.
You Will Be Assimilated, by David P. Goldman. Same topic, more on the technology, less on Xin Jiang, same tech, less brutality in the rest of China.
The People’s Republic of Amnesia, by Louisa Lim. What actually happened on June 4, 1989 in Tiananmen Square and Chengdu by an excellent Chinese author.
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Watched a documentary on the Antikythera mechanism, a 2000 year old Greek mechanical computer. that could calculate the movement of the Moon and planets of the Ptolemaic universe. The Romans captured a contemporary example of one so they had it but no one ever reversed engineered it until recently and it took a team of today’s cleverest mathematicians and scientists years to do it. It was that complex. The device was attributed to Archimedes, a man of some renown both then and now.
Turned out it was wrong because the Ptolemaic system put the earth at the center of the solar system but the device compensated for every elliptical orbit of the moon and planets so it was dead on accurate in terms of showing where the moon and 5 planets would be at any given time in the night sky.
So could there have been an ancient Mayan with a similar remarkable understanding of the night sky? Sure but we don’t know who he was and probably never will. Might have been a 8 foot tall Guatemalan man too but there are none today.
fascinating…. i had no idea that the maya had access to play-doh, or are these artifacts from the plasticine era?
The Mesoamerican origins are unraveling through DNA studies. About 1/3 of their DNA can be traced to western Eurasia, while 2/3 can be traced to eastern Eurasia. Europe during and following the ice age was centered in the Euro-Asian steppes — a very fertile grassland that extended from mid Europe to Asia. It was the Europe’s wild west, before the iron and bronze ages. The Mesoamericans came from those steppes. So did Europeans.
I liked the stories of hummingbirds and bats in the Reed-Gonzales house. On my rural acreage, I’m immersed in the dramas of fox, mink, turkeys, turtles, cranes, eagles, hawks, horses, and so much more. Their little dramas make life much more real and vivid than the abstractions on the internet.
It is well established that MesoAmericans were refugees from the Planet KSfordz who locally embraced Socialism…then degenerated faster than a speeding bullet point in a 382 image PowerPoint deck.
Sorry to hear you believe in childish stories….
… about Tianaman square and Ujghurs.
Sadly the Evidence is always missing when you dive deep. Otherwise we would have seen 250-400 prisons at the same time we were told of 1 million Ujghur prisons. We were shown one, and just promises the others might be seen on satellite pictures. Still waiting 9though they seem to have invented a host of subsequent accusations, in order that none is still around to be challenged 6 months later. Genocide, not surprising was quickly dropped.
Exactly what I thought. They remind me of the crude characters on Saturday Night Live’s Mr. Bill skits where Mr. Bill would smash the play-dough figurines to the squeals of “No, Mr. Bill, Noooooo!”.
Could be Fred’s pulling our leg with this one.
It’s amazing how the Mesoamerican tribes are credited with developing advanced calendars and number systems that Europeans didn’t have and yet they never went beyond Mrs. Grundy’s grade four art class. Some things just don’t make sense in this world.
Very well done Mr Fred.
don’t forget sluggo, mr. bill’s best friend. i don’t think they could get away with that in this day and age and i’m surprised sluggo hasn’t been purged from the internet yet.
But how do they count to eleven?
¿Se publicó este artículo originalmente in “La Cebolla“? ¿”La Abeja Babilonia“?
Priceless!
Fred is Puracaca. And it isn’t even April.
Here’s a scientific paper to ponder: “Padre Kino Red as a possible risk factor in the etiology of late-onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Before I waste my time reading this, could someone enlighten the non-genetics/anthropology enthusiast as to exactly who or what is being lampooned here?
A Muslim’s Perspective on the Uyghur Narrative
HKers file lawsuit against US on Xinjiang over slave labor claims
Dr. Lupita Perez of the Fried Calamari? I am sure that Lupita has vital information to impart to the world today.
San Juan de Cosala has a university? And I thought they only had a water park. Anyway, thanks for enriching my Mexican Spanish vocabulary with the amusing names.
I believe that coca leaf consumption reduced the art students’ attention span, causing the stunted development which is presented in the photographs.
Fn Fred – LMAO.
Yes, he is pulling our leg, Jim. I only realized that when he got to this part:
Then he followed with the bit about “the goddess of sunburn and odd blue oral things.” There’s nothing wrong with making fun of scientists, pseudo and otherwise. The cartoonist Gary Larson used to make fun of scientists often in his Far Side single-panel cartoons.
However, I didn’t find this one that awful funny versus, say, NotSoFast’s comment above. Are the commenters better reading than the writer? (Maybe just this one time…)
Agreed on the Mr. Bill SNL cartoon.
No, I don’t think you do know a reasonable amount about the technology. You are understandably impressed by it, from taking your 2-week trip, and it is indeed pretty impressive. Readers who know better don’t think you are an authority on Chinese society. They think that you write as if you are, because you’ve been doing that for a while.
However, I am impressed that you’ve read those books about the aspects of modern China that are very disappointing, to me as well as others, I’m sure. Peak Stupidity explains this disappointment in “Dashed high hopes for China” and Part 2.
I highly recommend a 4th book on China to Mr. Reed and others here. The confusion is the title, which is a bit too close to that of David Goldman’s book (which I have not read). This one is called We Have Been Harmonized, and it will scare the bejesus out of you regarding the Orwellian State of Chinese government and society under the current CCP and President-for-Evah
Winnie the Pooherrr, Xi Jinping.Peak Stupidity has a 4-part review of this book by Kai Strittmatter*:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
.
* Note: Though this is an important book and well worth reading, I am not impressed by the author’s take on American politics, especially regarding President Trump. The author sounds like he’s never been here and comes through as a mindless turd on that topic. It’s unusual for a review to trash the author for most of the beginning (Part 1) of a review, but it was deserved, believe me.
Men learned how to count to eleven, women learned how to count to twelve.
Hilarious! You need to team up with C.J. Hopkins. The Nobel Prize for Satire awaits the first international research combo to isolate the discriminating vampire-bat virus that preys only on GloboCap and Neo-Darwinists.
I used to enjoy Fred’s articles.
Pretty hilarious article, thanks. Was any plasticene portrait of Jesus also uncovered? The official Mormon version of the bible has a delightful color picture of a snow-white Jesus preaching to the enraptured Maya before the great temple at Chichen Itza. Apparently the old fellow was also a time-traveler, showed up there seven hundred years after his visit to the Middle East, which is when the complex was built. And what a coincidence, that those ruins were first described by white explorers in 1842, just as that wacky cult was gaining national notoriety and “Prophet Jo” was embellishing his creation with all sorts of further nonsense.
thx, fred, i needed a giggle this morn!
if ya want interactive play, bats love wiffle balls, thrown up in the air 🙂 we used to do that as kids sittin in a bayou treehouse.
i’ve always wanted a courtyard home, or if i had a decent view, a C floor plan.
upon reading the title, i just knew we were goin’ to africa w/this column. lol!
Reality is that there is a lot of pre-history and anomalies that are swept under the rug by mainstream archaeology because it doesn’t fit the established/accepted narrative. Too numerous examples to list, but here are a few interesting ones:
-In the case of the Americas, Indians in the Amazon have on average something like 15% Australian Aborigine DNA.
-There’s some evidence to suggest that the Caribbean was at one time a dry(ish) inland basin somewhat like what is now the Black Sea.
-Mandan Indians supposedly had red hair and blue eyes.
-What are the Roman Amphora doing in Brazil?
-Why do some Egyptian Mummies test positive for Cocaine?
To repeat, you can go on and on here. And if you’re the least bit intelligent, looking at what’s missing or doesn’t fit, you start to wonder about, well, everything.
Just a thought.
VicB3
Today must be equivalent of April 1 in Mexico.
Similar in India.
Indians were superior to Europeans in many aspects of knowledge during medieval times (due to the evil influence of christian churches), but while their earlier, Greek-based art was decent, their later sculptures look embarrasing (except in parts of the Dravidian South).
Ha! I do know enough Spanish to have seen the humor, but I was still reading there under the impression that Mr. Reed was serious, and didn’t catch that. Thanks. I take back that it wasn’t that funny. He should do more of this. To actually make fun of his new homeland once in a while is a change for the better.
Cat and Other Cat. I like it!
“Though this is an important book and well worth reading, … The author sounds like he’s never been here and comes through as a mindless turd on that topic.”
Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?
So the author is brilliant on the parts that support your bias and and mindless on anything that flies against your prejudices.
Let me break it down for your feeble mind, London: The guy knows a lot about China because he has been there for long periods of time. He knows nothing about America, because, from what I can gather, he’s never been here.
I got a lot out his thoughtful, experience-based look at the Chinese government an recent-day society. He didn’t need the mindless anti-Trump rants taken off a TV set.
See, it’s simple. Even a dumbass like you just might be able to understand. If not, you can read the review.
Dr. Puracaca indeed.
Racist shite, and it thinks itself amusing.
Funny how those poor Yellow Devils express near unanimous satisfaction with their Government, in polls conducted by Chinese and Westerners, including Harvard. One or two interviews with Shitmatter reveal a typical, Rightwing, Western, Orientalist Sinophobe.
ASPI is entirely controlled by the US State Department, several US weapons manufacturers, like Raytheon and Lockheed, and other contributions from Western Sinophobes. It’ s output is heavily biased, Sinophobic, racist in my opinion, and mendacious. The ‘slave labour’ accusations, like the ‘genocide’ filth and ‘forced sterilization’ garbage are outright lies, exposed by the likes of the excellent Grayzone, not to forget the Chjnese themselves.
ASPI’s work, in my opinion, is utterly Evil, but the Hate China campaign has resulted in an extra 270 billion in military expenditure, most of which will flow to ASPI’s US patrons. Any war with China would destroy this country, but the cane-toads from ASPI, waddling about spewing race hatred, couldn’t give a stuff, do long as their fat salaries keep arriving. And the vermin of the MSM never dare investigate their lies, and call them ‘credible’.
Strittmatter is no right-winger, Mumbledbrain. You most obviously did not read that book. He’s probably spent an infinite greater time in China than you have.
As for your polls, I don’t use that sarcastic-LOL, as I don’t think that’s what the tag is for. However, your polling idiocy is LOL in that manner. I also learned that Chairman Xi was made President-for-Live with a 98% favorable vote too! This is old USSR or Mao-China level stuff, and even worse than the Biden victory via absolutely foolproof voting through the mail, haha.
Only probably for people who invented math and science to have remarkable ancient inventions.
Only Asians and Europeans have invented things of magnetism.
Genetically very similar too if you look at real examples.
This white person with blue eyes and blonde hair is named Nick Shying which is an Asian word.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-10/first-chinese-settlers-descendants-reconnect-with-their-roots/9845804
His ancestor was an Asian who had multiple white wives, the first one was Sarah Jane Thompson.
Nick’s grandfather, Barry Shying, a grandchild of the Asian ancestor, still has a lot of Asian in him and looks fully white.
If you are European and *not* one of them, you most likely have Asian patrilineal genes in you, just like Nick Shying and Barry Shying.
Then there is the Asian Brad Pitt:
Fakes… like the play dough dinosaurs decades ago… particularly the black..
If fred wanted to educate himself, he could take a trip to peru (lots of nubile latinas there freddy boy)
and go and look at some white mummies…
he could also find them in NZ and chinky land, the genetic remnants on easter island or in egypt… the hindu cush and tibet, it’s no secret…
though of course to mention such things may get you a ‘black’ mark and racist badge from prof sheckelburg… at the boaz institute of fakery…
did you know there are pyramids on the canary islands ?… of course not, you are ‘americans’…
I have to laugh at anyone who would believe this wasn’t satire. Lighten up.
Thanks for the humorous article
Badly needed
Does Dr. Perez de los Calamares Fritas have any unmarried sisters? If so, I would like to marry one of them?
STRYKER’S QUESTION
1. Why wasn’t Trudeau criticized for closing the Northern US border like Trump was for closing the Southern one.
2. Why is the USA expected to allow Mexicans illegally into the USA but Canada isn’t? Why isn’t Canada criticized for enforcing its border?
3. How are the white European elite who control Mexico able to remain in power? Why don’t the Mayans or Aztec half-breed Mestizos attempt to topple them?
4. Why do the Mestizos feel anger at Anglo Saxons but not the pure Spanish elite who control Mexico?
5. How are the European elite of Mexico able to protect their property or prevent themselves from being victims of crime? Apart from private cops, that is?
6. How does Mestizo immigration worsen states like California & Arizona? In what way was it worse than the African-American ghettos now Hispanicized?
7. Will Hispanics seize ownership of farms & means of production & government? Will this lead to a narco-economy? Will cocaine deals be made in the White House?
9. Why is Mexico worse than Spain? Why are those with Indian blood unable to run a country as well as those who are pure Spanish? Certainly a few of the Mexican elite are pure Spanish?
10. Often times Anglos in Southwest US cities are assaulted by Cholos. Will this occur in Northern States as well?
11. Why in Latin America do the Mestizos & Indians express less animosity to Italians or Spanish than to Anglo-Saxons?
Mexico and latin american countries are ruled by crypto sephardic jews, not “white europeans” by a long shot. Also, the indigenous populations don’t hate anglos more than the elite in their respective countries, you clearly don’t know a lot about latin america and considering you claim to be an american expat living in SEA region, it makes me wonder why you even care about central americans and mexicans so much.
You rascal, Fred
I got as far as the epicanthic fold paragraph that was self-contradictory before I smelled a Nat … uhhh …. rat
Thereafter each successive figurine was more and more ludicrous
Well-played, sir, greatly enjoyed it
Kisses,
Nat
Fred –
I am beginning to suspect this article is purely satire. I know this is hard to believe, because you always put up deadly serious verbiage, and never resort to lighthearted or comical wording, but the evidence is there…
After vigorous internet searches, I found corroboration of some if what you say here. True, much of it is from obscure political sources, but no one publishes anything on the internet unless it is true, right?
So I am at a quandary, is this really a serious article, or simply the ravings of an unbalanced ex-patriot? Please endow your readers with the truth here, and come clean, so to speak.
I believe one would travel a bumpy road if searching for the Universidad de San Juan Cosala. And, even after the grueling journey, I’m not sure the mission would suceed.
Mesoamerican! Me troll you long time!
What a hoot, loved it.
Just like…
the Holycost
Elie Weasel being honest
a Talking Burning-Bush being real
Skydaddy giving ALL of the Levant as Lebensraum to Mosaics
hype about desert-dindus being “driven into the sea”
Israel wanting peace
the Jewish State not having nukes
Israel not being created/maintained by terror
Zionists not hating Xtians
tribalists being Chosen (save at the Umschlagplatz)
being booted from 109 bars for “no reason at all”
Gros Nez not wanting goyim to be their slaves
and so on.
You are right. The Mesoamericans are mostly genetically Asian.
Europeans also have Asian patrilineal genes inside, just like Nick Shying and Barry Shying.
Genetically very similar too if you look at real examples.
Look at the Asian Brad Pitt: https://imgur.com/a/bxy2BuQ
This white person with blue eyes and blonde hair is named Nick Shying which is an Asian word.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-10/first-chinese-settlers-descendants-reconnect-with-their-roots/9845804
His ancestor was an Asian who had multiple white wives, the first one was Sarah Jane Thompson.
Nick’s grandfather, Barry Shying, a grandchild of the Asian ancestor, still has a lot of Asian in him and looks fully white.
OK Fred, get started with meds and this time don’t stop.
I think you are joking (satire?) but I cannot be sure.