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Once upon a time there was a fairy kingdom that lived inside a place called The Beltway, and was surrounded on all four sides by a land called America. The Beltway was aligned with another kingdom called Manhattan, inhabited by disembodied heads that spoke from the walls of bars, and with yet another closed kingdom called Hollywood, the abode of half-educated narcissists. These kingdoms were in eternal political syzygy, and spoke not with the people of the surrounding lands, of whom they knew nothing. The following is a chronicle of what befell them, and why.

After years of peace, the Kingdoms were taken greatly aback by the rise of the Trump Monster, their surprise being proof that they knew nothing of the surrounding lands. They knew nothing for good reasons, of which there were two. The first was that they passed their lives with each other and among each other and talking to each other and writing about each other and reading about each other behind the high walls of their kingdoms. In organs like National Review and The Weekly Standard they endlessly wrote stories of the form “A soothsayer in Manhattan replies to what some other sayer of sooths said about yet another’s attack on someone else.”

They had all dwelt in monasteries called Harvard and Princeton, where they learned that they were the wisest of men, and inerrant. They had no idea that they were hated in the strange lands without the walls, which on their maps were drawn as fog with notations such as “Here dwelleth dragons.” They did not know that there were people who agreed not with them. For were they not right about all things?

The other reason for their puzzlement was a powerful spell called “Political Correctness.” This strong magic prevented the outlanders from saying anything that the Three Kingdoms did not want to hear. Anyone who engaged incantations called “slurs,” which were truthful thoughts about sacred tribes, or who said Inappropriate Things about a certain little country whose only importance was being that little country, was thrown into durance vile. Thus the Three Kingdoms never heard anything they didn’t like, and so believed that almost everyone without the walls loved them. They had scarce an idea what furies were roiling and boiling and stirring under the surface of the Outer Realms.

Now, until the Trump Monster appeared, the America was ruled by a pseudo-democracy of one bicephalous party with two names. The Only Party consisted of blackguards and Quislings and pickpockets bought and paid for by the plutocratic oligarchy of large corporations, AIPAC, and the. very rich. These told the two halves of the One Party what to do. Every four years there was played a great tournament in which candidates of the Two Names of the One Party engaged in the most savage combat imaginable. This was to distract the people outside the walls . Afterwards nothing changed and all went on as before, though the division of the spoils shifted a bit.

And in their ignorance and pride the Three Kingdoms engendered a monster called Trump, and it bit them.

The Only Party had always controlled the villeins because it controlled the choice of pretenders to the throne. A pretender gained the Presidency by buying it, and the rich who provided that money controlled as vassals those who accepted it. The pretenders were as straw and melons sold in a market.

Furthermore, the scribes and oracles of the Kingdoms said aloud only those things that were meet for the surrounding peasantry to hear. The puissant spell of Political Correctness amounted to a societal mute button and prevented the Holy Orders within the Three Kingdoms from noticing what stirred without.

Until the Trump Monster came raging, slouching toward Bethlehem, with which the Kingdoms confused themselves.

And there was afright and desperation and rending of teeth and gnashing of hair for many were the rice bowls threatened.

The darkest of horrors was that the serfs might come to choose the manner of their government. For long years the Bicephalous Party had presided over that most desirable form of democracy in which the people had no power. This laudable state they had maintained by never talking about anything of substance, such as unending wars in remote lands beyond the edges of the maps, or the importation of slaves from curious and unwholesome countries or the manufactures of all things by foreign dwarves.

A great broil ensured. The people saw for the first time a chance to manage their destinies and rose up for the Trump Monster. Inside the Beltway, the Wise and Good–for did they not so denominate themselves?–were greatly astonished. “What manner of wight can this be?” they asked in wonder. They said that the Trump Monster was beguiling fools, the cracked, and those who represented the worst in America. And the scribes and oracles were sore afraid, for most of the outlying populace appeared to belong to these tribes.

One of the Two Names of the One Party, the Democrats, sent forth a dreadful creature called Hillary to fight in single combat with the Trump Monster. Her very visage turned men to stone, it was said. She was held to be of one blood with Boadicea, Jeanne d’Arc, Lucretia Borgia, and Bonnie Parker.

The Three Kingdoms were at one with her, as she was corrupt, mendacious, criminal, and ugly, as well as suffering coughing fits and dizzy spells. Surely, said the scribes and oracles, any monster must fly screaming from her mere presence.

Yet it seemed that the Trump was no common monster. Every time he was beset by the scribes and oracles of the Beltway, he grew stronger, and a sulfurous smoke breathed from his mouth. With drawn swords the Trump Monster and the crumbling ruin yclept Hillary circled each other.

And beyond the parapets and crenellations of the Three Kingdoms the sky grew darker. Inside the Beltway and in Manhattan, the disembodied heads railed and raged, but with every blast the helots jointed the Trump Monster in larger numbers, for they hated the Insiders. In Hollywood the Half-Educated Narcissists said ever stupider things, but these had not their usual effect.

In their pride the Three Kingdoms had engendered Nemesis, and they watched in terror behind the ramparts as the sky grew darker and strange shapes twisted in the looming clouds and the Trump Monster strode ever nearer, breathing fire.

(Republished from Fred on Everything by permission of author or representative)
• Category: Ideology • Tags: Donald Trump, Political Correctness 
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  1. Luckily for the Three Kingdoms, their masters were able to call forth endless hordes of black and brown minions to defeat the Trump Monster and his followers. And thus the Three Kingdoms was saved so that they could continue to lay waste to the evil whites who dwelled in the dark and mysterious hinterlands.

  2. Dave37 says:

    Verily! But the bastions are not easily overcome so I suspect the elites’ power will survive.

  3. mtn cur says:

    Funny how folks can sport a pricey degree from the ivy leagues and still be blissfully ignorant of how, just like the rest of the world, the untermensch who fought the American revolution did not like fat cats who send punks with guns to boss them around, pilfer money and rummage under the bed, along with sniffing our bicycle seats in general.

    • Replies: @Eustace Tilley (not)
  4. Very good. It has anxious for the ending.

  5. schmenz says:

    And on Monday last the Trump Monster made peace with “a certain little country whose only importance was being that little country “

  6. tsotha says:

    Unfortunately, the Trump monster’s odds of winning approach zero. Or fortunately. It’s hard to know.

    The one big change this election will probably produce is superdelegates on the Republican side so nobody can ever threaten the interests of the party hierarchy again.

    • Replies: @Kyle a
  7. @mtn cur

    Change “untermensch” to “Untermenschen”. “Mensch” means “man” in the gender-neutral sense of “person”. The plural is “Menschen“.

    • Replies: @HdC
  8. Kyle a says:

    One could only hope the RNC will proceed with implementing the super delegates. Can’t think of a better way for them to confirm they’ve become irrelevant. Bring on the third and fourth parties. Could they also go about eliminating the electoral college?

    • Replies: @John Jeremiah Smith
  9. Thank you so much for that.

  10. Presidential contender Donald Trump is cited for constantly picking at the scab of the long deemed senescent America pox (pox Americanus) and that it’s beginning to erupt. (more)

  11. Priss Factor [AKA "Dominique Francon Society"] says: • Website

    We need a candidate who talks about this.

    • Replies: @Agent76
  12. @Kyle a

    Bring on the third and fourth parties. Could they also go about eliminating the electoral college?

    Congress controls the establishment of new parties, and what access to the electorate they may have. New parties, if established, are squeezed out of existence by Democrats and Republicans in common cause. Congress can define different rules and regulations binding any possible “third party”.

    Do keep in mind that the US government is wholly and irretrievably corrupt throughout.

  13. Wyrd says:

    Marry, nuncle, i’faith tis a passing good tale.

  14. My dear Mr. Reed, for this delightful comic piece, thank you. Best laugh I’ve enjoyed in ages.

  15. dearieme says:

    They’ll libel him, blackmail him, arrest him, shoot him; whatever is required to stop him.

    At least that should leave you in no doubt of the world you inhabit.

    • Replies: @Wyrd
  16. Wyrd says:

    From the footage I’ve seen, the Praetorian Guard is on his side and loves him. This is the stuff emperors are made of. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Or not.

  17. Brohemius says:

    It seems to me that Fred Reed – whose work I first read in the Washington Times in 1981 – has read quite a bit of medieval literature, and may even understand Beowulf in the original. This is unusual for a non-Catholic.

  18. Fred’s Mexican brethren are being used to shift the demographic to a point of no return in regards of Anglo leadership via the democratic process.

    And make no mistake – when Mexicans have amassed enough of a demographic foothold, the likes of Donald Trump will have no chance in securing leadership roles within the government.

    It starts with a few day labor illegal aliens, next comes their litter. Out of that litter, all sustained by the White American tax payer by the way, (thank you very much!) one or two get an education and begin to game the system for their comrades.

    Then comes the neighborhood Mexican attorney whom in turn brings in more by way of nefarious legal venues while also teaching others how to get “free shit”. Now the demographics have been changed and we have a few in local governing bodies, again, assigning resources, courtesy of the White American tax payer, to their own.

    White flight then sets in due to the school systems failing (ESL now dominates the curriculum leaving little time for teachers to teach an actual education), crime rates raising and an overall scene of “their goes the neighborhood “. That is a consistent pattern, and one that can be seen all over the South West.

    Lost ground that will be impossible to retake without a straight up race war, a war that Anglos of this time have no stomach for. So, the more of them that are allowed to gain illegal entry, the more ground and American culture that will be lost. Very simple to understand. We don’t need them here and they do nothing to better our nation as a whole.

  19. HdC says:
    @Eustace Tilley (not)


    Ein Mensch is a person, a human being. Man in German is Mann. HdC

    • Replies: @Wizard of Oz
  20. @HdC

    I thought that – about Mensch meaning person was what he said. And presumably Mensch does mean “man” in the sense of manly man in such an expression as “Er is ein Mensch!” and even if you tell me that Mensch used like that is Yiddish that could only be so if the basic Grrman connotation allowed.

  21. joe webb says:

    “The Beltway was aligned with another kingdom called….” Israel, but you would never know it from Fred’s fairy tales. The other kingdom also had its fifth column working Word Magic on the puerile goyem every day in every way telling them that Israel made the desert boom, which it surely did, but only to destroy evil Golem, namely the Arabs who wanted their land back, the land that the Prince of Darkness Wolfoblitz and his merry jew-crew stole away one night when everyone was asleep. Jews waft their magic words thru the air…but, but…some of the golem are beginning to smell a rat. The Jew black Magic begins to weaken and droop. Israel’s veil shreds….the folks begin to see.

    What fairy can wave her magic wand and get Fred on Nothing but BS see the way to light and Truth?

    What do you think children? The Bomb’s early light?

    Joe Webb

    • Replies: @Exudd1
  22. TG says:

    A cute guilty pleasure.

    But: rending of teeth and gnashing of hair? Isn’t that the other way around?

  23. Priss Factor [AKA "Dominique Francon Society"] says: • Website

    Immigration madness

  24. Oddly enough Trump’s election campaign has a kind of 1066 vibe to it, with Trump playing the part of Harold, Cruz as Scandinavian rival Hardrada, and Hillary as William the Conqueror. Trump is engaged in a bloody battle with the GOP and Cruz, and will probably have to win using dirty tactics (as Harold did at the battle of Stanford Bridge). However, by the time he finally finishes off his Republican rivals he will have to rush into battle yet again to fight a re-invigorated Hillary.

    Warning: if she starts crying and runs off during the final debate, don’t take that as a sign of defeat, she’s probably trying to lure Trump into a trap where some establishment sniper will shoot him in the eye with an arrow.

  25. Agent76 says:
    @Priss Factor

    These two links go together. Nov 2, 2015 No, the Police Don’t Work For You


    In the United States, you can get a pizza delivered faster than you can get the police to come to your home! To serve but not protect!

  26. Agent76 says:

    Dec 18, 2015 Donald Trump: The Establishment Candidate

    While his rise in the polls is attributed to his challenging the establishment and the political status quo, let’s look at the many ways Donald Trump, when it comes to his political positions, represents that very same status quo. From the Fed, to war, to civil liberties, the “anti-establishment” Trump takes no positions not already endorsed by the establishment.

    • Replies: @fnn
    , @A Sperger
  27. “Now, until the Trump Monster appeared, the America was ruled by a pseudo-democracy of one bicephalous party with two names.”

    Bicephalous? Fred is much too generous. May I suggest bicloacous instead? 😉

  28. Forsooth, yea verily, it is written.

    I’m an anthropologist who sits in a tree and studies extra smart monkeys. Funny little buggers. If he who scalps swedes gets elected I’m coming to live with you Fred, that’s it, color me gone from this idiot palace.

    But he has a hot wife and (so he says) a big dick so the extra smart monkeys think he should be the troop leader. I hope those republicans all carry fire arms into their convention and someone starts hollering “allah akbar” and everybody starts shooting randomly to kill the muslim.

    I can dream

    • Replies: @fnn
  29. Agent76 says:

    **Strong Language** Mar 12, 2016 Anti-Trump Protesters Spew Racist Hate at Black Businessman

    This video is about a Black T-Shirt Vendor

  30. macilrae says:

    And behold! Trump Monster came even unto the hallowed walls of AIPAC and sat mute, attending upon the words of she named Hillary who spake thus “Oh mighty priests, keepers of the sacred Grail, Lords of the Universe, know this: that I, Hillary, am come to worship. Know, too, that thy faithful servant shall do thy bidding in all things: only name your need and it shall be supplied – for thy enemies are thricely my enemies and shall be smitten from the face of the earth. Behold, I grovel my worthless body in thy presence to be used as ever ye see shall fit – enter unto me howsoever thou wilt for thus ye shall do me honor!”

    And Trump Monster, upon hearing these words, was seized with a mighty wrath and it came to pass that when his time to speak was come he stood forth declaring “Oh beloved brethren, illustrious and revered Elders of the Chosen: hearken not to the sayings of the Hillary for she is false even to the core of her being and barketh as a cur! It is I, Trump, who doth carry thy torch, the light of nations, even unto that Infernal Region called Iran whereupon I shall wreak my awful vengeance for their blasphemies! And lo, then shall I pass unto the dwellings of the Philistines which shall be rent asunder and made as dust in the wind: the land cleansed forever of their fell beings for thy sake!”

    And, hearing this, the Elders and Pharisees did smile the one unto the other saying “Send forth our messengers unto the great unwashed and let our scribes set down the Word that, henceforth, Trump Monster is no more – for behold, now is he called “The Trump” and shall be the one anointed – for his name is great in the Land of Israel.


    • Replies: @Exudd1
  31. So! The legend of a long-lost chapter of The Lord of the Rings is true! Fred the Gallivanter, of Thaichick-upon-Brasspole, a thousand thank-yous!

  32. Exudd1 says:

    Superb benediction!
    Amen! Amen!! And Amen!!!

  33. utu says:

    “In Hollywood the Half-Educated Narcissists” – who is that?

  34. fnn says:
    @dave chamberlin

    Anthropologists have given up on humans and are now studying monkeys? Does the AFL-CIO have to mediate jurisdictional disputes between your tribe and the zoologists?

  35. Exudd1 says:
    @joe webb

    Excellent comment, Joe!
    It is an overdue and important corrective and, hopefully, would help fill in some of the crucial gaps in this narcissist’s education.

  36. Renoman says:

    The best yet from the best writer on the Net!

  37. aandrews says:

    Oh, damn! THEN what happened??

  38. @Wizard of Oz

    Stop arguing and refining your ignorance. HdC is right. “Mensch” as used in America is a Yiddish honorific expressing sentimental approval of a man or a woman. If you are particularly appreciative of what Madeline Albright did in starving 500,000 Iraqi children to death, you could say of her “What a mensch!”

    • Replies: @Wizard of Oz
  39. A Sperger says:

    If Trump is so pro-establishment, why is the establishment herniating itself trying to get rid of him?

  40. DaveE says:

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Dante’s Inferno meets Beowulf meets Jeff Rense.

    Still more proof that Hollywood is run by “losers” as Trump would say. Gentiles are SO much smarter. Time for the fiddle to get back to the REAL fiddlers.

    Can’t wait for the ending /sequel.

  41. Anon7 says:

    Terrific read, Fred. Put a PO box on your website and I’ll send you Anonymous cash. Greater praise than this I cannot offer.

    I only hope that Trump can survive the latest onslaught. All of the powers that be on all sides are united in their anti-Trump din. I can only hope he has a strategy to survive and get the nomination.

    They say that doing the same thing again and again, while hoping for a different result, is the definition of insanity. The candidate who will NOT do the same thing again is our only chance for a different result.

    Thanks for listening. Thanks for writing.

    • Replies: @skrik
    , @Anonymous
  42. Shmiggen says:

    I found this article both vibrant and culturally enriching.

  43. Very funny except… Boadicea wen’t to war to avenge her violated daughters and died in the service of her people against invaders, Jeanne d’Arc certainly loved her country too whilst Hillary’s motivations are something quite different.

  44. @Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften

    Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muss man schweigen! I’m sure Ein Mann mit Eigenschaften can put that right too:-)

    I only have the German left from a few weeks before university staying with a German family decades ago though I do like adding a few touches like Die Erde hat eine Haut und diese Haut hat eine Krankheit und die Krankheit ist Der Mensch [from memory:correct to taste].

  45. LSWCHP says:

    Chapeau Mr Reed!

    This is one of the finest and funniest things ever to appear on the internet.

  46. skrik says:

    “The candidate who will NOT do the same thing again” – is no candidate at all.

    Posit: That *all* representatives are ineluctably corruptible. That doesn’t mean that all will end up corrupted and/or coerced (filthy 5th column, say) – just far more than enough – as those with eyes may see.

    A solution is in UDHR:

    «Article 21.
    •(1) Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives.
    •(2) Everyone has the right of equal access to public service in his country.
    •(3) The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections …»

    Note “directly” in •(1) with •(3) means that a) IF *nobody* votes at all for reps THEN such are *seen* to lack all legitimacy, and as a viable alternative b) voting for single-issue CIRs (= citizen initiated referendums) in a combined, single electorate leads to bypassing all representatives = dumping the treacherous weakest-links – yeah; *that* would do it. And not a single shot fired!

    PS There is a ‘small’ problem, namely convincing the 99% of the merits of ‘direct democracy,’ due to the endemic nature of the dumbing-down processes. A possible solution to that is getting the PFBCs (= publicly financed broadcasters) to tell us the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, as the 1st step prerequisite. Get some decent ACLU-types onto that ‘case.’ Once the PFBCs cease their treachery, the corrupt&venal for-profit MSM would have to abandon their lies – or die of indecent exposure.

  47. War for Blair Mountain [AKA "Groovy Battle for Blair Mountain"] says:

    I think the moral of Fred’s gnostic bible story is this:Groovy Battle for Blair Mountain!!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. One hopes this article is prophetic but one fears it is presumptuous.

    And while the mention “…of large corporations, AIPAC, and the. very rich” may be correct, it introduces a wobble into an article that was spinning like a top up to that point.

  49. “Her very visage turned men to stone…”

    Best laugh of the day.

  50. EH says:
    @Wizard of Oz

    It is perhaps telling that no other language, so far as I know, has yet created a word with the precise shade of meaning signaled by “chutzpah”, yet Yiddish had to borrow “mench” from the Germans .

    • Replies: @Wizard of Oz
  51. Klokman says:

    Great allegorical fairy tale. Except that I’ve never perceived Trump, being filthy rich and therefore connected to the Wall Street baggers and brigands, as truly a wild card to them or the bankers. It is just like their strategy to use Trump’s antics, pre-planned or spontaneous, as a counterpoint to keep everyone distracted from what is really going on, and what the true intentions of the election manipulators are.

    The whole point of the Establishment’s election cycle is to polarize the people–divide and conquer. In this Trump is performing beyond previous political theater. Make people lose sight of the fact that government debt is about to take the entire country down, our bloated and arrogant military is a renegade force (insofar as Congress and the people are concerned), and recent Congressional and Presidential acts have totally destroyed the BofR “protections.”

    We’re in deep kjit in our own house and most citizens can’t think to do something more important than watch the court jesters. I’d vote for little Tommy as President if he qualified in age. At least we’d have better political cartoons.

    • Replies: @NoseytheDuke
  52. @EH

    From pedant’s corner I note (having added to my intuitions by deep Wikipedia research) that chutzpah perhaps can’t be said to have a “precise” shade of meaning so it is a priori unlikely that any other word would have just the same range of connotations and nuances.

    Perhaps more substantially, you refer to “mench” – which I read as “Mensch” – as a borrowing by Yiddish from German in contrast to chutzpah being a Yiddish invention. But Yiddish IS German – a dialect of course – and chutzpah is a borrowing/appropriation from Hebrew.

  53. @Klokman

    He’s not the Messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy!

  54. abj_slant says:

    I enjoy reading Fred’s columns, and have noticed (not that he’s ever tried to hide it) his extreme aversion toward political correct”ness”. Personally, I find PC annoying, but not to the extent that I’ve seen in the not-so-mainstream media. Here’s my open question to anyone: wouldn’t education be the best way to refute PC?

    • Replies: @geokat62
  55. geokat62 says:

    Here’s my open question to anyone: wouldn’t education be the best way to refute PC?

    I would modify your question slightly to: “wouldn’t education about the origins of PC be the best way to refute it?”

    Here’s one of my previous posts:

    The question that has to be asked is: who is responsible for promoting Political Correctness (PC)?

    The brain-trust behind the promotion of PC is the Frankfurt School. The FS identified nationalism as the root cause of the holocaust. To ensure that another holocaust never occurred again, the FS prescribed cultural Marxism (better known as Political Correctness) as the antidote to nationalism.

    Theodor W. Adorno, a leading member of the Frankfurt School of critical theory, wrote The Authoritarian Personality in 1950. In it, Adorno invented a set of criteria by which to define personality traits, ranking them on what he called the ‘Fascist scale’.

    Here’s how one observer characterized the book’s goal:

    [it] was to eliminate antisemitism by “subjecting the American people to what amounted to collective psychotherapy — by treating them as inmates of an insane asylum.”

  56. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Fred’s website is
    He has a mechanism for donating to his work.

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