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The Rappahannock. ViFoto

My sins creep up on me, sent by the Devil, and beset me by surprise. I know not what to do. A month ago, in Fredericksburg, Virginia, I sat on the banks of the Rappahannock River, upon which as a stripling I had canoed and fished, and reflected on how much I liked the South. I knew I should not. At least I am told that I should not, chiefly by people who would make a hoe seem a pinnacle of intellect, but these are the bedrock of Yankee society, and I must respect them.

Besides, I fear that meridional leanings are in my blood. Yes, alas. I am tainted. I am Frederick Venable Reed. Charles Scott Venable was on Lee’s staff, and Andrew Reid Venable of the staff of Jeb Stuart. We have never looked fondly on Federal intrusion. So there I am.

And yet, much as I loved the peace and light of the riverbank in that Southern town, much as I treasured a boyhood of BB guns and bare feet and dogs with no licences and people who talked slow and suppple as the Good Lord intended, I had to concede the sins of the South. Even today, the dark stains remain. The signs are everywhere.

Although it wrenches my soul to confront it, there are reasons why the South has so often been wracked by racial rioting—by outpourings of the rage of the downtrodden against an unjust civilization. However much the states of the old Confederacy may seek to deny it, they cannot. People do not take to the streets, burn their homes and cities, unless pressed beyond forbearance by the cruelty of the oppressor’s iron fist.

Thus these eruptions of racial desperation have occurred all across Dixie: in Detroit, Ferguson, Los Angeles, Brooklyn, Washington DC, Watts, St. Louis, Cincinnati. Yes. Though I am a son of the Southland, I will not lie. The truth is the truth. I bow my head in shame.

And I am further forced to own that, while the black population of the North prospers, and mingles easily with its white brethren in casual but sincere amity, in the South the Negro huddles in the slums, denied schooling, and living on the meager charity of whites. Should you doubt this, look to Newark, Trenton, Camden, Detroit, Chicago, Flint, Gary. The flowering of blacks in the North a century and a half after the end of the Civil War, the rise in scholarly achievement, the frequent and accepted intermarriage of the races—here we have irrefutable proof of the superior moral culture of the North.

There is worse. The absence of all artistic expression in the South, of anything higher than the dull, the stolid, the ignorant and industrial—oh, I can hardly go on, so greatly does it pain me.

Yet I will bear up manfully, and say it: The South has been devoid of all culture. Yes. From Massachusetts came country music, gospel, jazz, blues, bluegrass, Cajun, Zydeco, indeed all music that is originally and characteristically American. And it was a young man from Tupelo, New Jersey, who brought about rock’n’roll.

There is no avoiding facts, such as the overwhelming number of fine blues singers from Maine and Vermont. The South, lacking the creative spark, satisfied itself with repeating the tired music of Europe, the Beethovens and Mozarts. It was pretty fair music, I grant, and they played it tolerably well for mere copiers.

Or talk to visitors from foreign climes and remote lands. To a man they will attest, I promise you, of a preference for the relaxed courtliness of New York to the acerbic harshness of Memphis.

A Southerner will lie about this. Yes. He will tell you, with no trace of shame, that as you go south you notice a change of atmosphere, of mood, even of sunlight. It shows, he will say, even in the distance from Washington to Fredericksburg, only an hour to the south. People in the Yankee Capital are neutral, neither welcoming nor hostile, having the character and savor of wallpaper paste. There is nothing to them. They are just a passel of people in the same place—so will say the mendacious Southerner.

But go south, he will say. By Fredericksburg, you find yourself assured of a smile, of courtesy without distance, of helpfulness. Relations between the races grow easier and more natural—the silver-tongued apostle of Dixie will say. He will imply that in the South you could even come to like humanity, though I grant it would be a pretty far stretch.

It was Marse Bob, Robert E. Lee, who said of confederation as distinct from central power, “…I consider it as the chief source of stability to our political system, whereas the consolidation of the states into one vast republic, sure to be aggressive abroad and despotic at home, will be the certain precursor of that ruin which has overwhelmed all those that have practiced it….”

I reluctantly confess this to be a slander upon our great nation. Heaven forfend, so mad was General Lee that in his crazed imaginings he may have thought that the Federals might wage war in—this is almost too absurd for utterance—Afghanistan, or Iraq. Indeed, he may even have conjured up armored military vehicles in the hands of uncontrolled police all across America, or–here I may strain the reader’s credulity–little boys being led from school in handcuffs for pointing chicken fingers and saying “Bang.” Aggression abraod? Despotism at home? Fah. A crass libel on the Yankee Capital.

ORDER IT NOW

Now, if I were a vile friend of Dixie, which I assuredly am not, I would say that Yankees constitute the most glitteringest, most self-satisfiedest and preening collection of pious frauds ever to inflict a groaning earth. The first thing a damn Yank does in any circumstance is to adopt a moral pose. His every action is driven by goodness. Why, before the Yankees destroyed Iraq, they could hardly sleep so great was their urge to spread democracy. Oil, Israel, and the Lincolnian craving for empire had nothing to do with it. Aggression abroad? Not a trace of it.

So I would say were I an apologist. I am not, so I will not say it.

But it is the attitudes of the South to those of darker hue that are most damning. Southerners were unembarrassed by these reprehensible notions.

Consider: “There is a natural disgust in the minds of nearly all white people to the idea of indiscriminate amalgamation of the white and black races … A separation of the races is the only perfect preventive of amalgamation, but as an immediate separation is impossible, the next best thing is to keep them apart where they are not already together. If white and black people never get together in Kansas, they will never mix blood in Kansas ..”.

Now, I am a poor sinner, and a man of little education, and cannot remember with confidence whether this was said by Jesus Christ, Joan of Arc, or Abraham Lincoln. I expect it was Joan of Arc. If it had been Mr. Lincoln, he would be revealed as a…pious fraud, an early George Wallace.

There you have it. I have revealed the stains of perfidy and crime that come of being a Virginian. Yet I will atone. I plan to spend the rest of my life helping black children from Alabama to move to Detroit, where they will enjoy the splendid education, the perfect social equality, and the high economic station that Yankees, never hypocritical, provide for those darker than they.

(Republished from Fred on Everything by permission of author or representative)
 
• Category: Ideology • Tags: The South 
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  1. As a Yankee, I say we made a terrible mistake in 1860. It is clear that the Confederate states preserved the spirit of the founders. We crushed them at great cost, ultimately to ourselves as much as to them. Where is the spirit of the Union now, Wall Street, the American Enterprise Institute? Much of the South’s culture survives while the North is just a rooming house for the world’s hipsters.

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    • Replies: @moi
    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious....
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  2. In 1940/1 my father, a Yankee from Michigan, traveled to Texas to train to be a pilot with the Army Air Force at Kelly Field. There he met and married my mother — a southern belle (in my opinion). (click website)

    So I’ve always had a split loyalty between the North and the South.

    After my father’s, Lt. Ronald E. Notestine, time in New Guinea in 1942 (where he flew an ambulance plane through the jungle valleys from Port Moresby up to the higher elevations to bring back wounded Australian soldiers and for which he received an OBE from GB) he was stationed in Mississippi and Georgia.

    What did my Yankee father have to do in the South at the bases where he was stationed? One thing he had to do was protect the Negroes. I do not know the details but I do know that he felt very strongly that the ‘mistreatment’ of the Negroes that he saw was wrong.

    I absolutely know, to the bones nearly, what Southern Hospitality is because I experienced it first hand through my mother and her relatives. But I also know that “other side” of the South, too.

    The above article is dishonest basically because it sets up this strawman that is the North bashing the South about things that happened in the South while nearly ignoring the fact that bad things did happen in the South. I know that it’s not a one way street: North good South bad. But the above article is just silly in its sarcasm — the poor South being vilified “fairly” by the North for things that most people know are not true in the first place.

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    • Replies: @The Anti-Gnostic
    Fred's parody was better.
    , @Chris Mallory
    Greyhound is ready when you are. We don't care how you did it up North. Please wipe the Southern soil from your shoes and never again grace us with your presence.
    , @Rebel Sympathy
    Well, your father must have done a wonderful job of protecting the Southern Negro-American from us savage Southerners - as evidenced that they have thrived throughout the South. More Negro-Americans die violent deaths in Chicago each day than die violent deaths in all the southern states combined. Yes, your father obviously did a great job...... Now, if you would only go to Chicago and do the same thing as your father. Or, at the very least, teach the Negro-American that he needs to flee the South for his/her safety.
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  3. @Tom Not Terrific
    In 1940/1 my father, a Yankee from Michigan, traveled to Texas to train to be a pilot with the Army Air Force at Kelly Field. There he met and married my mother — a southern belle (in my opinion). (click website)

    So I've always had a split loyalty between the North and the South.

    After my father's, Lt. Ronald E. Notestine, time in New Guinea in 1942 (where he flew an ambulance plane through the jungle valleys from Port Moresby up to the higher elevations to bring back wounded Australian soldiers and for which he received an OBE from GB) he was stationed in Mississippi and Georgia.

    What did my Yankee father have to do in the South at the bases where he was stationed? One thing he had to do was protect the Negroes. I do not know the details but I do know that he felt very strongly that the 'mistreatment' of the Negroes that he saw was wrong.

    I absolutely know, to the bones nearly, what Southern Hospitality is because I experienced it first hand through my mother and her relatives. But I also know that "other side" of the South, too.

    The above article is dishonest basically because it sets up this strawman that is the North bashing the South about things that happened in the South while nearly ignoring the fact that bad things did happen in the South. I know that it's not a one way street: North good South bad. But the above article is just silly in its sarcasm — the poor South being vilified "fairly" by the North for things that most people know are not true in the first place.

    Fred’s parody was better.

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  4. @Tom Not Terrific
    In 1940/1 my father, a Yankee from Michigan, traveled to Texas to train to be a pilot with the Army Air Force at Kelly Field. There he met and married my mother — a southern belle (in my opinion). (click website)

    So I've always had a split loyalty between the North and the South.

    After my father's, Lt. Ronald E. Notestine, time in New Guinea in 1942 (where he flew an ambulance plane through the jungle valleys from Port Moresby up to the higher elevations to bring back wounded Australian soldiers and for which he received an OBE from GB) he was stationed in Mississippi and Georgia.

    What did my Yankee father have to do in the South at the bases where he was stationed? One thing he had to do was protect the Negroes. I do not know the details but I do know that he felt very strongly that the 'mistreatment' of the Negroes that he saw was wrong.

    I absolutely know, to the bones nearly, what Southern Hospitality is because I experienced it first hand through my mother and her relatives. But I also know that "other side" of the South, too.

    The above article is dishonest basically because it sets up this strawman that is the North bashing the South about things that happened in the South while nearly ignoring the fact that bad things did happen in the South. I know that it's not a one way street: North good South bad. But the above article is just silly in its sarcasm — the poor South being vilified "fairly" by the North for things that most people know are not true in the first place.

    Greyhound is ready when you are. We don’t care how you did it up North. Please wipe the Southern soil from your shoes and never again grace us with your presence.

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    • Replies: @Tom Not Terrific
    Fine ... North bad South good and just erase history. Case closed. Discussion finished.
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  5. @Chris Mallory
    Greyhound is ready when you are. We don't care how you did it up North. Please wipe the Southern soil from your shoes and never again grace us with your presence.

    Fine … North bad South good and just erase history. Case closed. Discussion finished.

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    • Replies: @Threecranes
    I think you're missing the larger point.

    Fred's column could be distilled down to "Hypocrite, pluck the beam from your own eye before you…."
    , @Anonymous
    No. Not"north bad, south good". Try "south diverse", you know, "south different". Fred is just "celebrating diversity".

    It's all in how you look at it. The president celebrates the diversity of beheading, crucifying, homosexual-lynching, adulteress-stoning, honor-killing, clit-chopping Muslims as "The Religion of Peace" and chastened us for our "Islamophobia". Surely you can look in your heart and question your "Southophobia".
    , @Chris Mallory
    No, like I said, "We don't care how you did it up North". We don't try to impose our values upon yankees. Buy you yankees sure as hell love to tell everyone else how to live. Remove the beam from your own eye before you talk about the mote in someone else's.
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  6. Dave B says:

    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

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    • Replies: @The Anti-Gnostic
    Most of those transfer payments are to descendants of slaves, so I'm sorry we brought all those negroes here too.

    Next time we pick our own cotton, and the Bolsheviks aren't even allowed off the boat.

    You're welcome for the military service though. We'll see what happens once white Southerners stop signing up.

    , @fredyetagain aka superhonky
    "and of course food stamps"
    Hit the nail on the head there Dave B. Dislike the South all you like, but let's not kid ourselves as to the skin color of the welfare recipients down there.
    , @Sam Haysom
    Got to love the Christian-haters that post on a Fred Reed article. There is nothing more déclassé than the paleo-right. The atheist paleos are the most laughavle breed around. It's not even an ethos it's just misanthropy and crankiness. Pat B is at least fighting for something Dave just wants everyone to know that a precious snow flake he is.
    , @Gato de la Biblioteca
    "This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc."

    Don't forget all the Social Security and Medicare money that flows our way when bitchy Northerners retire down here. so they can make out lives miserable with their non-stop whining.

    Tell you what. You take all the military bases and retirees back, and then we can balance things out a bit. I'm sure Chicago will be a fine place to put major Naval and Air Force installations.
    , @Harold

    Civilized people do not take religion that seriously.
     
    Many northerners take the anti-Darwinian, PC-cult religion very, very seriously. They put bible-beating southerners to shame.
    , @Rebel Sympathy
    Well, Dave...... that has happened because of your Northern Welfare programs.
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  7. @Tom Not Terrific
    Fine ... North bad South good and just erase history. Case closed. Discussion finished.

    I think you’re missing the larger point.

    Fred’s column could be distilled down to “Hypocrite, pluck the beam from your own eye before you….”

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  8. GW says:

    As a Kansan, I’d have to say we did it right. Blacks account for fewer than 6% of the total population and are mostly clustered in a few of the larger cities. This is only because the Jayhawkers were willing to fight and die to keep it a free soil state. This is uncomfortable to many racial liberal revisionists, but unlike most northerners I’m fine with defending the race-realism and prudence of our forefathers.

    It is a myth the Confederacy was a response to northern oppression. Not content with the land it had, the South was expanding slavery westward as much as it could. It was also monolithically Democrat and agrarian, unlike the North which had a balance of sympathies and politics. This was a recipe for disaster, and dissatisfied with the laws their forebears (many of whom were Southern) had set up to decide political power in the republic, it was Southern rebels who blew the powder keg and attacked Ft. Sumter. What should the Union have done, retreat? Give up Kansas, Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland? Give up DC?

    This isn’t to solely blame the South for the war, as Northern passions ran hot as well. The abolitionists were mostly insane. Reconstruction was a disaster. Peace may have come sooner with better generals and leadership. Nor is it to dog on the South; it is represents much of the best of America. But you will receive no pity from this northerner, as it wasn’t only the South which lost due to this tragic war.

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  9. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:
    @Tom Not Terrific
    Fine ... North bad South good and just erase history. Case closed. Discussion finished.

    No. Not”north bad, south good”. Try “south diverse”, you know, “south different”. Fred is just “celebrating diversity”.

    It’s all in how you look at it. The president celebrates the diversity of beheading, crucifying, homosexual-lynching, adulteress-stoning, honor-killing, clit-chopping Muslims as “The Religion of Peace” and chastened us for our “Islamophobia”. Surely you can look in your heart and question your “Southophobia”.

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  10. @Tom Not Terrific
    Fine ... North bad South good and just erase history. Case closed. Discussion finished.

    No, like I said, “We don’t care how you did it up North”. We don’t try to impose our values upon yankees. Buy you yankees sure as hell love to tell everyone else how to live. Remove the beam from your own eye before you talk about the mote in someone else’s.

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  11. Curle says:

    I love the Rhappahannock River, but it is nicest east of Tappahannock.

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  12. David says:

    Report from the field: I live in VT. It is a complete cultural sh-t hole. The economy is snuffed. If our senators didn’t whore their vote shamelessly to bring $2bb of misc wealth transfers into the state annually, we might have to develop some self-reliance and integrity to justify our motto, “Vermont Strong!”

    Shun Vermont, America, like a tape worm.

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  13. What’s amazing is that there was a Civil War in the first place… small population, mostly WASP, HUUUGE TERRITORY, (a lot recently won/bought), mighty rivers, forests, mountains, prairies, 2 oceans and a sea, and despite all that bounty…. AND despite the best Constitution of all times (so they say), after a mere 74 years from ratification of the above-mentioned document: the bloodiest war in American History(more casualties than WWI and WWII combined) took place over a matter of tariffs! It certainly wasn’t about freeing the darks. There were even slave states in the Union.

    A country with that on its curriculum shouldn’t be exporting democracy, but wondering whether they might need a Monarchy.

    Reed is right about the South though… America would’ve been a better place with the South allowed to be the South. That’s where all the culture and cuisine comes from… with the possible exception of DooWop.

    The only thing that troubles me about the South is Jack Daniels being produced in a dry country, (Moore Tennessee) meaning you can’t even sip the juice at Company Headquarters. Like forbidding Burgundy in Dijon.

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  14. Ah, but Fred leaves out the greatest of Yankee perfidies, preventing the US from annexing Cuba and much more of Mexico. We’d have been so much richer had this farsighted Southern plan come to pass. We’d be trilingual as well as triracial. Them Yankees just don’t value diversity, do they?

    A bad Southern idea, though, was trying to annex Canada in 1812. Like Vermont, Idaho and Utah, Canada is (or was) just too damn white to be truly civilized. (Or civilised, if you don’t care for Webster.)

    As any Southerner will inform you, the level of civilization in a territory or state positively correlates with the percentage of Africans living there.

    Let’s not forget the great post-1865 victories of Dixie: the passage of the Sixteenth Amendment against the wishes of New England, Virginian Tommy Wilson’s Treaty of Versailles and League of Nations, the political capture of Massachusetts electors in 1928 by Alfredo Ferrero (aka “Smith”), the military capture of Detroit and Newark in 1967 by troops with Southern accents, the capture of the White House for 20 years and Congress for 60 by the party of the South (though they did eventually transfer their allegiance to a newer, more external “South”), and the replacement of half-Yankee Lincoln’s federal holiday with native Georgian King’s.

    However, I am confused by Fred’s usage. Around here, upper-case “North” refers to Canada, which, again, we did not annex. And “Yankee”, well, that hardly applies to those whose names end, or begin, with O.

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    • Replies: @Sam Haysom
    First three paragraph subtle as a 3AM New York City jackhammer irony. Ok I get that. What on earth is going on in the last two paragraphs. Mark Anthony was able to keep the irony coming for the whole speech. Maybe you want to switch straightforward prose there at the half way mark.
    , @Anonymous
    sorry to disappoint we are still lily white and intend to stay that way
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  15. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    I do not take Fred Reed’s parody as exculpating the South or denigrating the North. We all have “sins” and human nature may always have “sins”. But Mr. Reed’s point should be clear: the victory of the Nationalistic (though Sectional) Republican Party in the 1861 – 65 War took from America an essential ingredient of liberty: the sovereignty of the people in the individual States to run their lives as best they know how. No one can deny unless they refuse to learn history that the United States were unalterably changed in that ‘victory’. It was the critical step in abolishing the States and establishing an ever-growing centralized, national government – exactly what was feared even before the 1787 Constitutional Convention. It was a necessary step to financial, political and military empire.

    We should not use the terms ‘North’ and ‘South’. We should use National government vs Federal government. National government won because of strength of arms. Federal government lost because it lacked a sufficient strength of arms. But the spirit of Federal government remains embedded in the America spirit. Today the States which comprised the Confederacy and many people in all our States realize this and we yearn for a time when our lives can be returned to us. I find this among all my friends of any ethnicity or race.

    The United States is not a dream but America is. Our Founders gave us the dream and an experimental ship called the United States to sail the waves of history and carry the dream into the future. We shipwrecked in 1865. But that doesn’t mean the dream of liberty and Federal government died … only that National government, an historical scourge that always ends in Empire which equates with Waste of Human Life, Financial Ruin and Distortion of History, must again be undone as it was in 1776 – 83.

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  16. pyrrhus says:

    You’ve been reading Mark Twain again, Fred! But I fear your satirical sendup of the hypocrites in the North, of whom my extended family is a prime example, will fall on deaf ears. The false piety of the metrosexual puts Lucifer to shame…..

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  17. @Dave B
    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    Most of those transfer payments are to descendants of slaves, so I’m sorry we brought all those negroes here too.

    Next time we pick our own cotton, and the Bolsheviks aren’t even allowed off the boat.

    You’re welcome for the military service though. We’ll see what happens once white Southerners stop signing up.

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  18. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Mr. Reed’s only real sin is that of nostalgia. But it’s a major one. If I read one more bit of this old man’s recollections of what it was like growing up in Mayberry I’m going to fucking scream. How in hell does his little senorita put up with this crap?

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    • Replies: @BigDon
    I usually don't have easy solutions for peoples problems but for this one I do. DON'T READ POSTS FROM MR REED: You won't have to fucking scream.
    , @Ozymandias
    "If I read one more bit of this old man’s recollections of what it was like growing up in Mayberry I’m going to fucking scream."

    I find it nearly criminal how you are forced to be an unwilling participant here. Thus, I am counting on you to disempower your oppressor by turning yourself in to the proper authorities.

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  19. Art says:

    Two truths – the South is very likable – men are men and women are women.

    The second truth is about a very hateful history – 100 years of Bull Conner and Jim Crow was a monumental crime.

    Smug words aside – the South is rising from its unquestioned immoral past.

    p.s. Please do not include the Mid West and West in the pseudo superior morale liberal political position of the North East.

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    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar

    p.s. Please do not include the Mid West and West in the pseudo superior morale liberal political position of the North East.
     
    Despite the efforts of the last true Yankee president in 1924, his corner of the country was already lost to the boat people. At least let's get our target right.

    I hold the term to a stringent definition: one must a) eat pie for breakfast; b) own a working boat, or shay inland; c) have voted against the Worst Yankee Ever all five times he was on the ballot (seven in New York); and d) not need to be told an ancestor or two owned a slave or two, as some elderly female relative has already shown you the paperwork.
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  20. JustJeff says:

    To be fair, EVERYONE knows the bad side of the south and bringing it up is just pedantic because it’s been hammered into our heads our whole lives.

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  21. @Dave B
    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    “and of course food stamps”
    Hit the nail on the head there Dave B. Dislike the South all you like, but let’s not kid ourselves as to the skin color of the welfare recipients down there.

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  22. @Dave B
    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    Got to love the Christian-haters that post on a Fred Reed article. There is nothing more déclassé than the paleo-right. The atheist paleos are the most laughavle breed around. It’s not even an ethos it’s just misanthropy and crankiness. Pat B is at least fighting for something Dave just wants everyone to know that a precious snow flake he is.

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  23. BigDon says:
    @Anonymous
    Mr. Reed's only real sin is that of nostalgia. But it's a major one. If I read one more bit of this old man's recollections of what it was like growing up in Mayberry I'm going to fucking scream. How in hell does his little senorita put up with this crap?

    I usually don’t have easy solutions for peoples problems but for this one I do. DON’T READ POSTS FROM MR REED: You won’t have to fucking scream.

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  24. @Reg Cæsar
    Ah, but Fred leaves out the greatest of Yankee perfidies, preventing the US from annexing Cuba and much more of Mexico. We'd have been so much richer had this farsighted Southern plan come to pass. We'd be trilingual as well as triracial. Them Yankees just don't value diversity, do they?

    A bad Southern idea, though, was trying to annex Canada in 1812. Like Vermont, Idaho and Utah, Canada is (or was) just too damn white to be truly civilized. (Or civilised, if you don't care for Webster.)

    As any Southerner will inform you, the level of civilization in a territory or state positively correlates with the percentage of Africans living there.

    Let's not forget the great post-1865 victories of Dixie: the passage of the Sixteenth Amendment against the wishes of New England, Virginian Tommy Wilson's Treaty of Versailles and League of Nations, the political capture of Massachusetts electors in 1928 by Alfredo Ferrero (aka "Smith"), the military capture of Detroit and Newark in 1967 by troops with Southern accents, the capture of the White House for 20 years and Congress for 60 by the party of the South (though they did eventually transfer their allegiance to a newer, more external "South"), and the replacement of half-Yankee Lincoln's federal holiday with native Georgian King's.

    However, I am confused by Fred's usage. Around here, upper-case "North" refers to Canada, which, again, we did not annex. And "Yankee", well, that hardly applies to those whose names end, or begin, with O.

    First three paragraph subtle as a 3AM New York City jackhammer irony. Ok I get that. What on earth is going on in the last two paragraphs. Mark Anthony was able to keep the irony coming for the whole speech. Maybe you want to switch straightforward prose there at the half way mark.

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  25. The South that Reed describes is a modern South, not antebellum. As a former Detroiter I can attest that the South would look like Detroit if not for The Great Migration and thereafter. And if the sentiment is to blame the North for the CW, that is BS. Article 1 Section 10 clause 1: no state shall enter into a confederation. As for comments above re: tariffs, The South accepted tariffs at the Philadelphia Convention. I don’t understand the nostalgia for something that either never really existed or is being viewed from a modern eye.

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  26. @Anonymous
    Mr. Reed's only real sin is that of nostalgia. But it's a major one. If I read one more bit of this old man's recollections of what it was like growing up in Mayberry I'm going to fucking scream. How in hell does his little senorita put up with this crap?

    “If I read one more bit of this old man’s recollections of what it was like growing up in Mayberry I’m going to fucking scream.”

    I find it nearly criminal how you are forced to be an unwilling participant here. Thus, I am counting on you to disempower your oppressor by turning yourself in to the proper authorities.

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  27. Marty [AKA "wick"] says:

    ,

    LOL. The accent – yea, that’s what I have to listen to from blacks in California, but amplified by arrogance and baseless self-regard.

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  28. Gato de la Biblioteca [AKA "Icepick"] says:
    @Dave B
    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    “This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc.”

    Don’t forget all the Social Security and Medicare money that flows our way when bitchy Northerners retire down here. so they can make out lives miserable with their non-stop whining.

    Tell you what. You take all the military bases and retirees back, and then we can balance things out a bit. I’m sure Chicago will be a fine place to put major Naval and Air Force installations.

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  29. iSteveFan says:

    Got to love the Christian-haters that post on a Fred Reed article. There is nothing more déclassé than the paleo-right. The atheist paleos are the most laughavle breed around. It’s not even an ethos it’s just misanthropy and crankiness. Pat B is at least fighting for something Dave just wants everyone to know that a precious snow flake he is.

    Sam Hayson, I tried to point this out to you on a different post. You are confused in your political designations. The paleo right are not Christian-haters. You are referring to the alt-right. The paleo-right is represented by people like Pat Buchanan, William Lind. Even Steve Sailer is somewhat close to their position, though he is probably not as religious.

    The alt-right are the people who think Christianity is some Jewish derived religion that should not have been adopted by the Nordic races. If you want to see examples of the alt-right, go to Radix Journal

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    • Replies: @Sam Haysom
    You are right. I sometimes use the terms interchangeably when I shouldn't mostly because I don't think the alt-right is a very explanatory term. John Derbyshire and Roissy (spelling?) don't have much in common.
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  30. As a proud citizen of the UNITED States of America, with a mother from rural Georgia, a father from suburban California, and an upbringing spanning the entire continent, I can say with confidence to the genteel author of this screed:

    I wish to thank your (and my) southern ancestors for bringing Africans to this great land. Were it not for those southerners, this issue would be moot. Whatever one’s opinion, it is the south that gave us this problem. Thank you, great, wealthy, southern, confederate slave owners, for importing this minority to our shores. Thank you for bringing us those who riot in our Northern streets, to the apparent amusement of the author of this vehement, divisive piece. Thank you, southern ancestors, for creating the problem in the first place.

    Oh, how funny it is to always hear the modern-confederate, secessionist propaganda about how the black man is the north’s problem. He isn’t. He is a southerner, imported from Africa.

    And by the way, federalism is not a new idea, but rather an integral part of this great country that has existed from the very beginning. All your arguments against it are simply vain attempts at misinforming the public and excusing the original sin of the south.

    Good day, “sir.” I am sure you appreciate my politeness, phony and southern as it is.

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    • Replies: @Chris Mallory


    "I wish to thank your (and my) southern ancestors for bringing Africans to this great land. "
     
    Pssst, the slave traders and their ships were based up North. But if you want to go to the root of the problem, blame the Dutch.
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  31. @Art
    Two truths – the South is very likable – men are men and women are women.

    The second truth is about a very hateful history – 100 years of Bull Conner and Jim Crow was a monumental crime.

    Smug words aside – the South is rising from its unquestioned immoral past.

    p.s. Please do not include the Mid West and West in the pseudo superior morale liberal political position of the North East.

    p.s. Please do not include the Mid West and West in the pseudo superior morale liberal political position of the North East.

    Despite the efforts of the last true Yankee president in 1924, his corner of the country was already lost to the boat people. At least let’s get our target right.

    I hold the term to a stringent definition: one must a) eat pie for breakfast; b) own a working boat, or shay inland; c) have voted against the Worst Yankee Ever all five times he was on the ballot (seven in New York); and d) not need to be told an ancestor or two owned a slave or two, as some elderly female relative has already shown you the paperwork.

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  32. moi says:
    @Thomas O. Meehan
    As a Yankee, I say we made a terrible mistake in 1860. It is clear that the Confederate states preserved the spirit of the founders. We crushed them at great cost, ultimately to ourselves as much as to them. Where is the spirit of the Union now, Wall Street, the American Enterprise Institute? Much of the South's culture survives while the North is just a rooming house for the world's hipsters.

    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious….

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    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar

    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious….

     

    There were no slaves in Virginia in 1607, nor in Plymouth in 1620.
    , @Rebel Sympathy
    "The ones who owned slaves?" Before, or after the industrial revolution changed the North's opinion of the evil of slavery?
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  33. Svigor says:

    They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    Dave, you ignorant slut. The South gets that money because of the Yankee liberal domination of federal spending – they want to spend lots of white taxpayer money on blacks. They certainly don’t want blacks leaving the South for greener pastures.

    As a Kansan, I’d have to say we did it right. Blacks account for fewer than 6% of the total population and are mostly clustered in a few of the larger cities. This is only because the Jayhawkers were willing to fight and die to keep it a free soil state. This is uncomfortable to many racial liberal revisionists, but unlike most northerners I’m fine with defending the race-realism and prudence of our forefathers.

    Not sure which prudent, race-realist forefathers you’re referring to. Surely not the ones who invaded and burned the South to turn the blacks loose on America.

    it was Southern rebels who blew the powder keg and attacked Ft. Sumter.

    Yep, that’s what I always do when one city launches one artillery volley that results in the death of one donkey. I invade and burn down the half of the country allied with it. ‘Cause I’m totally not a despotic warmonger.

    What should the Union have done, retreat? Give up Kansas, Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland? Give up DC?

    I know, what are you supposed to do when someone keeps slamming his face into your fist? Eventually you’re gonna have to defend yourself.

    Ah, but Fred leaves out the greatest of Yankee perfidies, preventing the US from annexing Cuba and much more of Mexico. We’d have been so much richer had this farsighted Southern plan come to pass. We’d be trilingual as well as triracial. Them Yankees just don’t value diversity, do they?

    Pick a crappy liberal federal law. Any crappy liberal federal law. Then go look and see how the South voted. 90% of the time, the law would have failed in an independent South. And only succeeded because of Yankee votes.

    I crap on your example. Talk about a stretch. Must be nice to have to imagine what the South might have done. I’m more concerned with what the Yankees have been doing ever since.

    Let’s not forget the great post-1865 victories of Dixie: the passage of the Sixteenth Amendment against the wishes of New England, Virginian Tommy Wilson’s Treaty of Versailles and League of Nations, the political capture of Massachusetts electors in 1928 by Alfredo Ferrero (aka “Smith”), the military capture of Detroit and Newark in 1967 by troops with Southern accents, the capture of the White House for 20 years and Congress for 60 by the party of the South (though they did eventually transfer their allegiance to a newer, more external “South”), and the replacement of half-Yankee Lincoln’s federal holiday with native Georgian King’s.

    Haha, you’re hilarious. Sensitive Yankees are a trip. Like it’s someone else’s fault that Yankee liberal domination has sent this country into the toilet. Like it’s the South’s fault the Yankees invaded and burned it down to keep it in the “Union” (is rape a “union,” too?).

    I mean, Southern accents? “The party of the south?” Seriously?

    Pick a shitty, liberal, federal law. Any shitty, liberal, federal law.

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    Is The Americans a good show? Looking for another series to get into.
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  34. Svigor says:

    Article 1 Section 10 clause 1: no state shall enter into a confederation.

    “According to Article 1, Section 10, Clause 1, we are obligated to invade your lands, burn your homes, and trample your rights.”

    Yankee morality. Shyster waving a contract/bible.

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  35. Svigor says:

    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious

    No, of course not. We’re talking about the America that wasn’t amicably founded, in full knowledge, by both slave-owners and non-slave-owners, while agreeing the whole while to found said country with slavery intact. It’s right next to Candyland.

    Shyster waving a contract/bible without understanding it.

    The guy running The Americans should make a show about Yankees next. After two seasons, now I really hate commies (and like Reagan).

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    • Replies: @Sam Haysom
    Does Reagan show up in the show or do you just mean the subject matter makes you sympathetic to him? I stopped watching after Season 1 because the commies were so hateable it was hard to accept them as protagonists.
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  36. Svigor says:

    Yankees are like a husband who beats his wife, won’t let her leave the house, won’t give her a divorce, and complains to anyone who’ll listen about how awful and immoral she is.

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  37. @iSteveFan

    Got to love the Christian-haters that post on a Fred Reed article. There is nothing more déclassé than the paleo-right. The atheist paleos are the most laughavle breed around. It’s not even an ethos it’s just misanthropy and crankiness. Pat B is at least fighting for something Dave just wants everyone to know that a precious snow flake he is.
     
    Sam Hayson, I tried to point this out to you on a different post. You are confused in your political designations. The paleo right are not Christian-haters. You are referring to the alt-right. The paleo-right is represented by people like Pat Buchanan, William Lind. Even Steve Sailer is somewhat close to their position, though he is probably not as religious.

    The alt-right are the people who think Christianity is some Jewish derived religion that should not have been adopted by the Nordic races. If you want to see examples of the alt-right, go to Radix Journal

    You are right. I sometimes use the terms interchangeably when I shouldn’t mostly because I don’t think the alt-right is a very explanatory term. John Derbyshire and Roissy (spelling?) don’t have much in common.

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  38. @moi
    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious....

    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious….

    There were no slaves in Virginia in 1607, nor in Plymouth in 1620.

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  39. Sean says:

    If Fred loves the south so much, why does he live in Mexico? Why did he choose to marry a non-white, non-southern woman?
    Fred stinks of hypocrisy. Typical blow-hard, southern fool.

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    • Replies: @Sam Haysom
    So your train of thought goes Fred can't love the South because he doesn't live there/ isn't Southern enough. Ergo Fred must be a typical southern blow hard. Is that right?
    , @Fred Reed
    What a stupid question. Mexico isn't south? Hell, we think you're all Yankees up there. We just spell iot with a Q. God almighty, you don't know where Mexico is?
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  40. @Svigor

    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious
     
    No, of course not. We're talking about the America that wasn't amicably founded, in full knowledge, by both slave-owners and non-slave-owners, while agreeing the whole while to found said country with slavery intact. It's right next to Candyland.

    Shyster waving a contract/bible without understanding it.

    The guy running The Americans should make a show about Yankees next. After two seasons, now I really hate commies (and like Reagan).

    Does Reagan show up in the show or do you just mean the subject matter makes you sympathetic to him? I stopped watching after Season 1 because the commies were so hateable it was hard to accept them as protagonists.

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  41. @Sean
    If Fred loves the south so much, why does he live in Mexico? Why did he choose to marry a non-white, non-southern woman?
    Fred stinks of hypocrisy. Typical blow-hard, southern fool.

    So your train of thought goes Fred can’t love the South because he doesn’t live there/ isn’t Southern enough. Ergo Fred must be a typical southern blow hard. Is that right?

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  42. Fred Reed says:
    @Sean
    If Fred loves the south so much, why does he live in Mexico? Why did he choose to marry a non-white, non-southern woman?
    Fred stinks of hypocrisy. Typical blow-hard, southern fool.

    What a stupid question. Mexico isn’t south? Hell, we think you’re all Yankees up there. We just spell iot with a Q. God almighty, you don’t know where Mexico is?

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  43. Danindc says:
    @Svigor

    They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.
     
    Dave, you ignorant slut. The South gets that money because of the Yankee liberal domination of federal spending - they want to spend lots of white taxpayer money on blacks. They certainly don't want blacks leaving the South for greener pastures.

    As a Kansan, I’d have to say we did it right. Blacks account for fewer than 6% of the total population and are mostly clustered in a few of the larger cities. This is only because the Jayhawkers were willing to fight and die to keep it a free soil state. This is uncomfortable to many racial liberal revisionists, but unlike most northerners I’m fine with defending the race-realism and prudence of our forefathers.
     
    Not sure which prudent, race-realist forefathers you're referring to. Surely not the ones who invaded and burned the South to turn the blacks loose on America.

    it was Southern rebels who blew the powder keg and attacked Ft. Sumter.
     
    Yep, that's what I always do when one city launches one artillery volley that results in the death of one donkey. I invade and burn down the half of the country allied with it. 'Cause I'm totally not a despotic warmonger.

    What should the Union have done, retreat? Give up Kansas, Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland? Give up DC?
     
    I know, what are you supposed to do when someone keeps slamming his face into your fist? Eventually you're gonna have to defend yourself.

    Ah, but Fred leaves out the greatest of Yankee perfidies, preventing the US from annexing Cuba and much more of Mexico. We’d have been so much richer had this farsighted Southern plan come to pass. We’d be trilingual as well as triracial. Them Yankees just don’t value diversity, do they?
     
    Pick a crappy liberal federal law. Any crappy liberal federal law. Then go look and see how the South voted. 90% of the time, the law would have failed in an independent South. And only succeeded because of Yankee votes.

    I crap on your example. Talk about a stretch. Must be nice to have to imagine what the South might have done. I'm more concerned with what the Yankees have been doing ever since.


    Let’s not forget the great post-1865 victories of Dixie: the passage of the Sixteenth Amendment against the wishes of New England, Virginian Tommy Wilson’s Treaty of Versailles and League of Nations, the political capture of Massachusetts electors in 1928 by Alfredo Ferrero (aka “Smith”), the military capture of Detroit and Newark in 1967 by troops with Southern accents, the capture of the White House for 20 years and Congress for 60 by the party of the South (though they did eventually transfer their allegiance to a newer, more external “South”), and the replacement of half-Yankee Lincoln’s federal holiday with native Georgian King’s.
     
    Haha, you're hilarious. Sensitive Yankees are a trip. Like it's someone else's fault that Yankee liberal domination has sent this country into the toilet. Like it's the South's fault the Yankees invaded and burned it down to keep it in the "Union" (is rape a "union," too?).

    I mean, Southern accents? "The party of the south?" Seriously?

    Pick a shitty, liberal, federal law. Any shitty, liberal, federal law.

    Is The Americans a good show? Looking for another series to get into.

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  44. Harold says:
    @Dave B
    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    Civilized people do not take religion that seriously.

    Many northerners take the anti-Darwinian, PC-cult religion very, very seriously. They put bible-beating southerners to shame.

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  45. […] Satire Du Jour. I’ve always had a great time when we’ve visited the American south. […]

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  46. @Buzz Mohawk
    As a proud citizen of the UNITED States of America, with a mother from rural Georgia, a father from suburban California, and an upbringing spanning the entire continent, I can say with confidence to the genteel author of this screed:

    I wish to thank your (and my) southern ancestors for bringing Africans to this great land. Were it not for those southerners, this issue would be moot. Whatever one's opinion, it is the south that gave us this problem. Thank you, great, wealthy, southern, confederate slave owners, for importing this minority to our shores. Thank you for bringing us those who riot in our Northern streets, to the apparent amusement of the author of this vehement, divisive piece. Thank you, southern ancestors, for creating the problem in the first place.

    Oh, how funny it is to always hear the modern-confederate, secessionist propaganda about how the black man is the north's problem. He isn't. He is a southerner, imported from Africa.

    And by the way, federalism is not a new idea, but rather an integral part of this great country that has existed from the very beginning. All your arguments against it are simply vain attempts at misinforming the public and excusing the original sin of the south.

    Good day, "sir." I am sure you appreciate my politeness, phony and southern as it is.

    “I wish to thank your (and my) southern ancestors for bringing Africans to this great land. “

    Pssst, the slave traders and their ships were based up North. But if you want to go to the root of the problem, blame the Dutch.

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    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar

    Pssst, the slave traders and their ships were based up North. But if you want to go to the root of the problem, blame the Dutch.
     
    So, blame the pusher, not the junkie?
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  47. shmiggen says:

    Flannery O’Connor

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  48. Svigor says:

    Is The Americans a good show? Looking for another series to get into.

    Great show, must-watch. Politically fascinating, too. I can’t quite figure out if the producer (Jewish former Cold War CIA from a leftist Jewish family & milieu who figured joining the CIA was like being ex-communicated (or something, can’t remember his exact metaphor)) is trying to be subversive and anti-communist, or what. I think he is, but I’m just basing that on my own reaction, which is highly atypical. Like I said, my reaction is viscerally anti-communist; I want to see the “protagonists” take rifle-caliber bullets to the triangle. Especially Russell’s character, a total swivel-eyed fanatic. But at the same time, I love the show, and don’t want it to end. It’s a wholly unique viewing experience. Breaking Bad had us sympathizing less and less with an increasingly monstrous main character. But I was rooting for him, right up until the end. Not so with Americans.

    Season 2 is really the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The commies’ reaction to the outcome of the sub plans op really highlights what hypocrites and weasels they are (in addition to whores, liars, terrorists, murderers, and commie fanatics, of course).

    If you haven’t watched House of Cards and Vikings, you’ll want to pick those up, too, especially the former; Spacey’s sub-par Southern accent is the only dent in an otherwise riveting political drama. I’ve yet to g**gle around to find out if Cards is inspired by the Clintons, which is the feeling I get.

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  49. Svigor says:

    Actually, calling Spacey’s accent sub-par is unfair. Par for Southern accents in the entertainment biz is absurdly low. By industry standards, it’s better than most. But it’s still bad.

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  50. Svigor says:

    Does Reagan show up in the show or do you just mean the subject matter makes you sympathetic to him? I stopped watching after Season 1 because the commies were so hateable it was hard to accept them as protagonists.

    No, he’s just featured in the background regularly. The commies really hate him, keep calling him a maniac and a warmonger. If these vile people hate him, he must’ve been doing something right.

    You should try watching it again. I don’t think we’re supposed to like the protagonists. The mechanics of cinema are such that one can’t help but tense up and root for protagonists on some level – the story is told from their POV by definition, but beyond that, the protagonists in The Americans are not the good guys. Like I said, it’s a very odd viewing experience, rooting for the FBI and the Americans against the KGB on one hand, but also rooting for the KGB because you don’t want the show to end.

    But I’m going to be disappointed if the illegals don’t die in a satisfying way at the end of the show. Or, at the very least, we should get to watch the wife broken beyond repair by the fall of her precious socialist paradise. Be nice if she wound up in a sanitarium.

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  51. Svigor says:

    Pssst, the slave traders and their ships were based up North. But if you want to go to the root of the problem, blame the Dutch.

    Just as drug dealers are closer to the root of the drug problem than their customers, so are African blacks (or, more precisely, their ancestors) closer to the root of the problem of the slave trade.

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  52. @Dave B
    I am a proud Yankee who hates the south for two major reasons. OK, I hate the accent, the heat and humidity, country music, NASCAR, but those are more a matter of taste. But there are two political/moral/intellectual issues that drive my disdain for the South.
    One, the preponderance of bible beaters down there. Right wing, ignorant, fools. Civilized people do not take religion that seriously. They whine about morality yet it is the south and their conservative citizens who have the most problems with divorce, alcoholism, etc.
    Two, and this is the big one, I have no use for their economic hypocrisy. The federal government decided about 50 years ago to help the south economically by redistributing tax money from the north to the south and this has gotten worse over the years. My state, Illinois, receives 75 cents back from Washington for every dollar it sends to them in the form of contracts, road work, etc. The states of the old Confederacy get an average of $1.86 back for every dollar they send to Washington, and then have the audacity to whine about big government. This money comes in the form of military bases, road construction, contracts to southern companies, and of course food stamps, etc. But of course the Southerners are not appreciative of this, all they can do is whine about the big bad northerners.

    Well, Dave…… that has happened because of your Northern Welfare programs.

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  53. @Tom Not Terrific
    In 1940/1 my father, a Yankee from Michigan, traveled to Texas to train to be a pilot with the Army Air Force at Kelly Field. There he met and married my mother — a southern belle (in my opinion). (click website)

    So I've always had a split loyalty between the North and the South.

    After my father's, Lt. Ronald E. Notestine, time in New Guinea in 1942 (where he flew an ambulance plane through the jungle valleys from Port Moresby up to the higher elevations to bring back wounded Australian soldiers and for which he received an OBE from GB) he was stationed in Mississippi and Georgia.

    What did my Yankee father have to do in the South at the bases where he was stationed? One thing he had to do was protect the Negroes. I do not know the details but I do know that he felt very strongly that the 'mistreatment' of the Negroes that he saw was wrong.

    I absolutely know, to the bones nearly, what Southern Hospitality is because I experienced it first hand through my mother and her relatives. But I also know that "other side" of the South, too.

    The above article is dishonest basically because it sets up this strawman that is the North bashing the South about things that happened in the South while nearly ignoring the fact that bad things did happen in the South. I know that it's not a one way street: North good South bad. But the above article is just silly in its sarcasm — the poor South being vilified "fairly" by the North for things that most people know are not true in the first place.

    Well, your father must have done a wonderful job of protecting the Southern Negro-American from us savage Southerners – as evidenced that they have thrived throughout the South. More Negro-Americans die violent deaths in Chicago each day than die violent deaths in all the southern states combined. Yes, your father obviously did a great job…… Now, if you would only go to Chicago and do the same thing as your father. Or, at the very least, teach the Negro-American that he needs to flee the South for his/her safety.

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  54. @moi
    Which spirit of the founders are you talking about? The ones who owned slaves? Curious....

    “The ones who owned slaves?” Before, or after the industrial revolution changed the North’s opinion of the evil of slavery?

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  55. Svigor says:

    If Fred loves the south so much, why does he live in Mexico? Why did he choose to marry a non-white, non-southern woman?
    Fred stinks of hypocrisy. Typical blow-hard, southern fool.

    Ergo, since the majority of American Jews love Israel, they’re hypocrites and blowhards – typical Jewish fools.

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  56. @Chris Mallory


    "I wish to thank your (and my) southern ancestors for bringing Africans to this great land. "
     
    Pssst, the slave traders and their ships were based up North. But if you want to go to the root of the problem, blame the Dutch.

    Pssst, the slave traders and their ships were based up North. But if you want to go to the root of the problem, blame the Dutch.

    So, blame the pusher, not the junkie?

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  57. Svigor says:

    So, blame the pusher, not the junkie?

    You tell me. Which would you rather have off the street?

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  58. Jason says:

    The ancestors of Southerners fought to the death NOT to be a part of the United States. Yet they keep sending their sons to die for a system that openly hates their guts. Time to wise up.

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    • Replies: @tom
    Southerners, in general, are not very bright. They take pride in being ignorant. The modern day negro has adopted this attitude and accent from the region itself.
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  59. tom says:
    @Jason
    The ancestors of Southerners fought to the death NOT to be a part of the United States. Yet they keep sending their sons to die for a system that openly hates their guts. Time to wise up.

    Southerners, in general, are not very bright. They take pride in being ignorant. The modern day negro has adopted this attitude and accent from the region itself.

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    • Replies: @Jason
    Is that why Black Africans in Africa are so smart? They weren't corrupted by Southern culture?
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  60. The South is a parasite on the rest of the US. More government aid goes to it than it pays in taxes. It cones in first in ignorance, disease, you name it. What’s not to like?

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    • Replies: @Shibes Meadow
    The South is a parasite on the rest of the US. More government aid goes to it than it pays in taxes. It cones in first in ignorance, disease, you name it. What’s not to like?

    Since the South is so horrible, none of you Yankees will mind if we leave, right OH WAIT

    P.S. - Here in Texas the secession clock ticks louder every day. We could easily do without you.
    , @Ferd
    Now Robert, be honest. Where does this government aid go? I think the answer was further up the page.

    The people of the South will be grateful that you will never go there.
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  61. @Robert Anderson
    The South is a parasite on the rest of the US. More government aid goes to it than it pays in taxes. It cones in first in ignorance, disease, you name it. What's not to like?

    The South is a parasite on the rest of the US. More government aid goes to it than it pays in taxes. It cones in first in ignorance, disease, you name it. What’s not to like?

    Since the South is so horrible, none of you Yankees will mind if we leave, right OH WAIT

    P.S. – Here in Texas the secession clock ticks louder every day. We could easily do without you.

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  62. @25

    ….As for comments above re: tariffs, The South accepted tariffs at the Philadelphia Convention. I don’t understand the nostalgia for something that either never really existed or is being viewed from a modern eye…”

    I wasn’t really taking sides because for me there’s no story.

    I prefer the South because it had culture. Somehow I like bluegrass a helluva lot more than the songs of Connecticut (do they even sing up there?).

    Or the Jazz the oppressed darkies came up with in the cotton fields and then in New Orleans a helluva more than gangsta-nigga-rap. (By every mothafuckin’ parameter).

    In a way all this is similar to the ever verdant North / South diatribe in Italy.

    Naples used to be the Capital of a Kingdom, but they had their asses kicked in by the Northern Piedmontese (Masons all) who “united” Italy. Those same Piemontese (the ones who recently bought Chrysler) also whipped the Pope’s ass and made him surrender the Papal States (and remain a prisoner in the Vatican until Mussolini offered a deal decades later).

    But still today, the popular culture of that old Naples, that erstwhile Capital city that once ruled the Entire South – STILL TO THIS DAY – has Russian baritones singing “Core ‘Ngrato” in DIALECT to audiences in Japan. And Koreans both North and South singing a folksong celebrating the inauguration of a cableway to Vesuvius.

    Milan and Turin can’t match that.

    Just as Connecticut can’t match the Bluegrass sung by Japanese to Koreans.

    Naples was offended by people who thought they were superior, just like the American South.

    Yeah, they were superior in organization. I guess the way McDonald’s is superior to the great hamburger joints of yesteryear.

    Anyhow, politically speaking every dog has the mange. The question I can’t answer is WHY with such a small population, sitting on such vastness and abundance, WASPS, whites, at the time mostly Scots-Irish, Limeys and Krauts, with that great work ethic, that high IQ, that much vaunted self-reliance, HAD to go to war despite all of those great and good things above PLUS that much vaunted document called the Constitution. Why were they unable to cook up a compromise? What was so difficult?

    In modern times the dead of the Civil War would amount to approx. 6 to 7 million.

    I think that we can all agree that the freeing of the slaves story was pumped way outta proportion. Yet that’s what gets reverentially celebrated.

    Why would the winners rewrite history and PUSH the myth so hard like that? Why the battle hymn of the Republic, the hallowed Lincoln memorials…?

    The Neapolitans had the same Statist bullshit foisted on them. And they too became the new nation’s official retards… for having a God-oriented culture along with a system – and not just a system.

    I say the war was fought about money. You suggest it was some unrespected clause. Others pin the blame on the South’s own expansionist ambitions.

    I think it has much to do with Anglo-Saxon pride and protestantism.

    The oftentimes senseless desire for overachievement and the uber-control required for that kind of success.

    Yes, I think it was a religious war… a fight between schools of Presbyterianism… the more heretical northerns vs the more religiously orthodox southerns.

    I think that might explain the American Civil war. The State Vs God

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  63. Ferd says:
    @Robert Anderson
    The South is a parasite on the rest of the US. More government aid goes to it than it pays in taxes. It cones in first in ignorance, disease, you name it. What's not to like?

    Now Robert, be honest. Where does this government aid go? I think the answer was further up the page.

    The people of the South will be grateful that you will never go there.

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  64. Sean says:

    The south will be over-run with Mexicans in a generation, so this whole debate is fairly useless. At least Fred will feel at home when the Mexicans are the majority, hell, he might even move back to the U.S.!

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  65. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:
    @Reg Cæsar
    Ah, but Fred leaves out the greatest of Yankee perfidies, preventing the US from annexing Cuba and much more of Mexico. We'd have been so much richer had this farsighted Southern plan come to pass. We'd be trilingual as well as triracial. Them Yankees just don't value diversity, do they?

    A bad Southern idea, though, was trying to annex Canada in 1812. Like Vermont, Idaho and Utah, Canada is (or was) just too damn white to be truly civilized. (Or civilised, if you don't care for Webster.)

    As any Southerner will inform you, the level of civilization in a territory or state positively correlates with the percentage of Africans living there.

    Let's not forget the great post-1865 victories of Dixie: the passage of the Sixteenth Amendment against the wishes of New England, Virginian Tommy Wilson's Treaty of Versailles and League of Nations, the political capture of Massachusetts electors in 1928 by Alfredo Ferrero (aka "Smith"), the military capture of Detroit and Newark in 1967 by troops with Southern accents, the capture of the White House for 20 years and Congress for 60 by the party of the South (though they did eventually transfer their allegiance to a newer, more external "South"), and the replacement of half-Yankee Lincoln's federal holiday with native Georgian King's.

    However, I am confused by Fred's usage. Around here, upper-case "North" refers to Canada, which, again, we did not annex. And "Yankee", well, that hardly applies to those whose names end, or begin, with O.

    sorry to disappoint we are still lily white and intend to stay that way

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    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar

    sorry to disappoint we are still lily white and intend to stay that way
     
    Who's "we"? I don't believe I mentioned the Faroe Islands. Is there somewhere else lily white?
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  66. @Anonymous
    sorry to disappoint we are still lily white and intend to stay that way

    sorry to disappoint we are still lily white and intend to stay that way

    Who’s “we”? I don’t believe I mentioned the Faroe Islands. Is there somewhere else lily white?

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  67. Jason says:
    @tom
    Southerners, in general, are not very bright. They take pride in being ignorant. The modern day negro has adopted this attitude and accent from the region itself.

    Is that why Black Africans in Africa are so smart? They weren’t corrupted by Southern culture?

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  68. At least I am told that I should not, chiefly by people who would make a hoe seem a pinnacle of intellect…the northern pinnacle of intellect, the shopping bag. We done tore all the mills down and now it’s time to tear down the malls. We aren’t the Yankees we are the Damn Yankees damn it.

    Randall Park Mall was a shopping mall located in the village of North Randall, Ohio. Despite the mall’s importance to the town – it is represented by the two shopping bags appearing in the municipal seal – Randall Park Mall closed in March 2009. Demolition began December 29, 2014.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randall_Park_Mall

    Middle-aged real estate agent Joe Boyd is a long-suffering fan of the pathetic Washington Senators baseball team. His wife Meg laments this (“Six Months Out Of Every Year”). After Meg has gone to bed, Joe sits up late, grumbling that if the Senators just had a “long ball hitter” they could beat the “damn Yankees.” “I’d sell my soul for a long ball hitter,” he laments. Suddenly, “Mr. Applegate” appears. He looks like a slick salesman, but he is really the Devil, and he offers Joe exactly that deal: if he gives up his soul, Joe will become “Joe Hardy,” the young slugger the Senators need. Joe accepts, even though he must leave his wife Meg (“Goodbye Old Girl”). However, Joe’s business sense makes him insist on an escape clause. The Senators’ last game is on Sept. 25, and if he plays in that final game, he is “in for the duration.” If not, he has until 9 o’clock the night before the final game to walk away from the deal and return to his normal life.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damn_Yankees

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