There was a study done concluding that attending parades (of the old-fashioned kind) as a child increases Republican identification as an adult. It’s only a one percent swing, but it’s lifelong, so it’s the kind of thing that could add up. Standard disclaimers about reproducibility in social science studies apply, but it’s exactly the kind of thing liberals would be concerned about, and try to rectify.

Pride parades are exactly what you think they are, and it’s deliberate.

I liked Dave Barry’s novels even more than his columns. I always wondered why he didn’t do more, but I also assume he knows his business better than I do. So perhaps it’s quality control, or perhaps they’re simply a lot of work and he has enough money already.

Since the game has fundamentally changed (emphasis on walks, the shift, players throwing harder than ever), you need a few changes to fundamental rules in baseball, but without changing the character of the game. Essentially, the amount of action (time spent with the ball in-play) per unit time is now so low that baseball is hard to enjoy unless you have a rooting interest.

The average time per game has gone from 1:58 in 1920 to 3:05 in 2017, though commercials may be a significant part of that. In that interval, strikeouts have tripled.

These will never happen, but here are my suggestions. The goal is to increase men on base and balls put in play, and decrease idle time.

To increase action:

1. Move the mound further away from home plate — enough to restore the original hitter’s reaction time. Pitchers today throw much harder than when baseball was invented, and so hitters simply don’t have time to physically react. If necessary, to prevent too many walks, expand the strike zone a bit. This might also defeat the shift, as players will have a better chance of hitting to open spaces, if presented. I’d also be open to larger baseballs or bats, if they could increase solid contact rates.

2. Move the fences back 20-40 feet. Doubles and triples are more exciting than home runes, especially with men already on base. This may generate more singles, as the fielders have to play back some more. Similarly, consider making the foul lines wider (but keep the bases where they are). Many well-hit balls are just foul.

To reduce idle time. Nothing too dramatic here:

3. Eliminate pick-off moves. The game grinds to a halt with players on base. Have a maximum lead indicator. If this is too offensive to purists, at least charge the pitcher with a ball on a pick-off move (thrown or faked).

4. Eliminate mound conferences, and relief pitchers shouldn’t get any warm-ups on the mound when coming in. They warmed up in the bullpen. A professional pitchers should be able to come in and pitch.

5. Pitch clock. Current pace is ridiculous.

Change “wall” to “magical cost-free force field” and the post almost makes sense.