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Mister Charlie Told Me So
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Say what you will about the current zeitgeist, at least it’s often entertaining … albeit in a psychotic Charlie Manson kind of way. Last week, for example, when Russian Hitler ordered Russian-intelligence-asset Hitler to support a coup against Venezuelan Hitler (i.e., Russian Hitler’s South American ally) to distract attention from Smirkboy Hitler and his acne-faced army of MAGA hat-wearing Catholic high-school Hitler Youth. That was entertaining … or something.

This Russian Hitler-backed American Hitler against Russian Hitler-backed Venezuelan Hitler attempted non-military military coup was one of the silliest attempted coups in the history of silly attempted coups. Basically, what happened was, a person by the name of Juan Guaidó (who many Venezuelans had never even heard of) declared himself President of Venezuela. Seriously, he just came out one day and announced that he was in charge of the country. He called on the Venezuelan military to back him. The Venezuelan military did not back him. The Venezuelan military laughed in his face.

American Russian-intelligence-asset Hitler, who probably couldn’t find Venezuela on a map, nonetheless officially recognized Guaidó as the legitimate President of Venezuela, as did the majority of the Western corporate media, despite the fact that he had been elected by no one and did not have the backing of his country’s military (which, normally, when you’re staging a military coup, it’s kind of a good idea to have). The UK, France, Germany, Spain, and other members of the “international community” demanded that Venezuela hold new elections, or else they too will recognize Guaidó, or any other neoliberal puppet Russian-intelligence-asset Hitler decides is the President of Venezuela.

The anti-Russian-intelligence-asset-Hitler Resistance® in the United States suspended their imaginary guerrilla war against Russian-intelligence-asset Hitler in solidarity with the Venezuelan people, who are being brutally oppressed by Venezuelan Hitler, who is a close personal friend of Russian Hitler, and who they reelected president in the spring of last year (i.e., Venezuelan Hitler, not Russian Hitler) against the advice of American Hitler, the deep state goons that are trying to destroy him, and assorted transnational oil corporations like ExxonMobil, Chevron, and Equinor, not to mention all the global financial institutions which are eager to help the Guaidó government democratically restructure and privatize the country.

The weird thing is, Russian Hitler, who presumably ordered American Hitler to support this coup against Venezuelan Hitler, is now supporting Venezuelan Hitler. Which can only mean that this whole ridiculous attempted Hilter-on-Hitler coup thing is a ruse intended to distract our attention from MAGA hat-wearing Smirkboy Hitler and his Catholic high-school Hitler Youth army, who have clearly been “emboldened” by American Hitler to hunt down elderly Native Americans and attempt to literally smirk them to death.

That, or possibly Russian Hitler ordered Russian-intelligence-asset Hitler to orchestrate this coup against Venezuelan Hitler (which Russian Hitler had always intended to thwart) to distract attention from the latest explosive “bombshell” corporate media story about Washington sleazebag Roger Stone’s non-connection to Julian Assange, who American Hitler now wants to prosecute for helping to get him (i.e., American Hitler) elected president with those emails that Russian Hitler stole from Clinton’s campaign manager, and who, according to anonymous fictive sources is not a nice person and doesn’t smell too good (i.e., Assange, not Clinton’s campaign manager).

Or maybe Russian Hitler ordered Russian-intelligence-asset Hitler to back the coup against Venezuelan Hitler to distract our attention from Bernie Sanders, who apparently is also a Russian agent now, or an insidious Kremlin-Trump operation, or is working with Tulsi Gabbard to assemble an army of blood-drinking Hindu nationalists, genocidal Assadists, and American Nazis to help the Iranians (and the Russians, of course, and possibly also Jeremy Corbyn) frontally assault the State of Israel and drive the Jews into the sea!

If all that sounds completely insane and impossible to follow, that’s because it is. We have reached a stage in the War on Populism where the global capitalist ruling classes and their mouthpieces in the corporate media are no longer even trying to appear to make sense, or address people on any kind of rational level. Reading the so-called “serious” press and watching corporate television news is like having a bunch of paranoid psychotics tripping monkey balls on DMT jabbering strangely familiar-sounding contradictory nonsense at you … which, apart from its entertainment value, happens to be a standard technique cults use to scramble the minds of new members.

It’s a standard technique because it works.

It doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence. Intelligent people make excellent cult members, primarily because they are given to trying to make sense out of apparent nonsense, which professional cult leaders understand and count on. Listen to Charlie Manson “rapping.” What might appear to be free associative gibberish is actually a calculated effort to short-circuit rational thought in the listener and force them to try to piece together the bits of truth sprinkled into the nonsense. (Of course, it helps if you listen to Charlie ripped out of your gourd on acid, but sheer repetition also works, especially if the people doing it look a little more “normal” than Charlie.)

This mind-scrambling technique is what we are being subjected to, more or less around the clock, not by some Processean grifter, but by the so-called serious corporate media. The steps involved are relatively simple:

(1) authoritative person or persons jabbers irrational nonsense at us, and behaves as if the nonsense were a rational argument;

(2) our minds are faced with a choice – either accept the nonsense as a rational argument or challenge the authority of the authoritative person (which most of us are reluctant to do, because of negative social and financial consequences);

(3) having chosen to believe that the nonsense the authoritative person is spewing at us must somehow amount to a rational argument, our minds begin to struggle to make sense out of the nonsense, which allows the authoritative person to provide us with some simplistic narrative revealing the “truth” and invariably featuring some evil enemy (i.e., Russians, Jews, Body Thetans, etc.), which relieves the acute discomfort we are feeling.

In a cult (or, you know, a cult-like society), this process is repeated, over and over, and then reinforced by positive feedback from other members of the cult (or society). The process is designed to prevent us from ever achieving enough perceptual distance to accurately hear, and critically evaluate, the nonsense authoritative persons are feeding us. If we ever accidentally manage to do so, we are promptly serenaded by a chorus of voices shouting mind-numbing platitudes at us, and threatening us with ostracization, and so on. Over time, we learn to stop thinking critically and just trust whatever the authoritative persons we have surrendered our autonomy to are telling us. The official narratives of the cult (or society), no matter how irrational or totally psychotic, become our reality, or “just the way it is.”

This is why it is relatively easy to recognize this process at work in cults (or social groups) we don’t belong to, but very difficult to perceive in those we belong to. For example, if you’re a creature of the left, as I am, it’s entertaining (or maybe horrifying) to listen to people on the right babbling about caravans of Mexican terrorists that the International Conspiracy of Jews is paying to assault our borders, or kill-crazy lesbians who are getting pregnant and waiting to abort their full-term pregnancies just to spit in the faces of good pro-life Christians. But is that stuff really any more insane than believing Donald Trump is a Russian agent, or that the United States is on the brink of fascism, or that a Catholic teenager in a MAGA hat poses some existential threat to democracy, or any of the other hysterical nonsense the liberal corporate media have been disseminating?

If you seriously believe in any of that stuff, sorry, but I don’t know how to help you. I’m not a professional cult deprogrammer. Nor do I have any “truths” to offer you, except maybe beware of those who do. There are a lot of Mister Charlies out there, and they don’t all look like homicidal hippies with swastikas carved into their foreheads. Actually, most of them look … well, normal.

C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and political satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23, is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant Paperbacks. He can be reached at or

• Category: Foreign Policy • Tags: American Media, Donald Trump, Venezuela 
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  1. From The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang:

    “Charlie: white men regarded as oppressors of blacks.–used contemptuously. Also Mr. Charlie, Boss Charlie.
    [1923 in E. Wilson Twenties 164: Mista Charlie, I hear–I hear the niggers is free, is that right?]

    From the annotated Grateful Dead:

  2. Stick says:

    CJ, have you ever watched Don Lemon? CNN seems to be stocked to the gills with Mister Charlies. Then there are the networks, network comedy shows, network talk shows, network cartoons. There are a lot of Leftist Mister Charlies. It is a cult and it worships Manhattan Privilege. Ever wonder how five different national news shows have the exact same news with the exact same script?

  3. Anonymous [AKA "Magyar Narancs"] says:

    In an open system, the result of all this frantic indoctrination is to discredit all authority. That was what you had in the 70s when Operation CHAOS and COINTELPRO burned out. The media harps on the dated fashions of the time because that was a terrifying time for our CIA indoctrinators. Rejection of state-imposed culture was growing in scope. The ambient symbols of statist culture became a joke. If some poor bastard signed up to get his nuts blown off in the military it just evoked stunned incomprehension. People lost interest in the fake war of football. Our local authority figures didn’t take it seriously themselves, so you did whatever you wanted. America was the biggest joke of all. You didn’t even think about it except to turn your back on it.

  4. swamped says:

    “…if you’re a creature of the left, as I am, it’s entertaining (or maybe horrifying) to listen to people on the right babbling about caravans of Mexican terrorists that the International Conspiracy of Jews is paying to assault our borders, or kill-crazy lesbians who are getting pregnant and waiting to abort their full-term pregnancies just to spit in the faces of good pro-life Christians. But is that stuff really any more insane than”…reading this??

    • Replies: @Biff
  5. renfro says:

    Angry Democrats call for Starbucks boycott after ex-CEO touts independent presidential run

    ”Priorities USA, the largest Democratic Party super PAC, has also come with a stern rebuke against Schultz, vowing to do everything to destroy his campaign if decides to run”.

    Sooooo…..the Dems want to boycott the business of a guy who has the legal right to run for political office in the democratic USA ….But they (and the repubs) want to throw Americans in jail for boycotting the foreign country of Israel?

    okey dokey, as I said before ….Kill them all and Let God sort them out.

    • Replies: @Father O'Hara
  6. Biff says:

    Mike Wallace? Is that you?

    • LOL: Realist
  7. “… and doesn’t smell too good (i.e., Assange, not Clinton’s campaign manager).”

    How do you know that, C.J.? Have you been close enough to Clinton’s manager to get a good whiff?

  8. Ritual Deception: A Window to the Hidden Determinants of Human Politics is a paper where People are photographed in, as it were, HD.

    Their business was not my business any more since I knew them, and it would never cross my mind one more time to roll up my sleeves and set out to fix their world, because their world is the world they want, and the one that befits them best (they aren’t even erring in wanting it).

  9. It sure is taking a lot of sanctions, sabotage, effort, time, and money to make Venezuelan “socialism” fail.

    So how much is this effort at making it fail costing us? Been going on a lot of years now. Billions?

    We’re now well over 21 trillion in the hole for our efforts at making others fail.

    Woo Hooo Merican Capitalism!

    • Agree: Biff
    • LOL: Digital Samizdat
  10. Another ringer from CJ! I had about one belly-laugh per paragraph this time.

    But seriously, a few years ago a friend and I were reminiscing about our childhoods back in the 70s, and we both remembered what a big deal cults were at that time. I mean, they were all over the place: the Manson “family,” Anton LeVay, Synanon, Est, Heaven’s Gate, and on and on. Some private dicks even made a full-time job out of recapturing kids who had run away from home to join cults, then having them reprogrammed before being sent back home to mommy and daddy.

    But we both then began to wonder where all the cults had gone. Except for Scientology, you just don’t hear about them these days. That’s when it hit us: we don’t need a bunch of little cults anymore because our whole society has now turned into one big goddamned cult!

    When your culture dies, leaving behind a nihilistic void, cults are what take its place, filling that void. Cults arise when culture dies. Culture is based on tradition and heritage; cults are just raw crowd-dynamics and mind-control–nothing more than that. And now our whole society is resolving into two giant, mutually incompatible cults: the Church of Ayn Rand versus the Frankfurt School Synod.

    What a shit choice! I say, bring back Charlie Manson. At least they got to drop acid and have group-sex. They could take their aggressions out on Hollywood stars, too. Sounds like fun!

    • Replies: @Ozymandias
    , @Anonymous
  11. @Digital Samizdat

    “I say, bring back Charlie Manson. At least they got to drop acid and have group-sex. They could take their aggressions out on Hollywood stars, too.”

    We’re already dead.

  12. JackOH says:

    C. J. thanks. Had me thinking of those “cognitive maps” (?) and similar graphic depictions of the jumble of hot-buttony ideas inside people’s heads. That cartoon of a New Yorker’s view of America west of the Hudson is one example. Maybe someone ought to come up with an old-fashioned pinball machine with flippers, bumpers, and what-not labeled “Hitler” and so on.

  13. In my opinion, resting one’s argument on the “story” of Charles Manson appears the weakest component of an otherwise excellent thesis. Most of youse (thnx Mike King!) probably know that 9/11/2001 was a false flag event like (dare I say it again?) Sandy Hook and a host of other “real, made for TV” thrillers to capture your attention and direct it away from more meaningful ideas and tasks.

    What about Charlie?? Not the tuna fish, probably just as real, though! Less radioactive then, I suppose, well before Fukushima….I refer you to Miles Mathis and his analysis of the “Tate Murders”.

    Of all the “conspiracy theories” I have run across over the years, amazingly this is not one of them. I searched the internet for anything on this theory and got nothing, even at Above Top Secret and sites like that. But now that we know many recent tragedies have been faked in Hollywood fashion, why not go back to previous decades, to see how long this has been going on? Before I start, let me say two things. One, we will have to study the crime scene photographs of Sharon Tate, but I will make it as easy on you as possible. They aren’t what you think anyway. I was apprehensive when I clicked on them for the first time, but I was very surprised. They aren’t at all what we have been led to believe.
    Even so, I will lead you in slowly, making a strong case that they are fake before you even take a look [If you want to skip ahead, go to p. 46]. By the time we get there, you will already be pretty sure they aren’t what they are supposed to be, and you won’t be afraid to look at them. Two, I will also prepare your mind and eyes by making it clear why the murders needed to be faked. It will be much easier for a reader to understand how they were faked once he or she understands why they were faked.

    Personal postscript: Miles Mathis, if you have not already discovered his sites and his work, may ruin a few dozens of hours for you! Fascinating take on “reality” we know and love. Dyin’ ignorant my goal, Miles has helped me unlearn a whole lotta stuff during the past several years! I highly recommend.

    [Note: This is an edited version of the comment I posted on ZeroHedge repost of this post. Perhaps I should go to work for the post office!]

  14. Anonymous [AKA "Duke De Guise"] says:
    @Digital Samizdat

    Indeed you are correct, but it’s gone even further from that.

    I’m currently reading a book written in the 1930’s about Confidence Men and their rackets, and a frequent refrain in the book is how the Golden Age of Cons (1890-1920’s) had ended. But as I read the book, it becomes apparent that all those cons have been absorbed and embedded into everyday neoliberal capitalism, where Everything Is A Racket…

  15. wagelaborer says: • Website

    I think that cults disappeared in America, like serial killers, because the mission was accomplished. The communal spirit was destroyed, paranoia set in and it became Morning in America.
    Now we have mass murders, instead of serial murders. Is it to take our guns? I doubt it. More likely it is to get us to clamor for more police and more surveillance.
    Buy your child a bullet-proof backpack at the Back To School Sale!

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