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I Killed the Kentucky Census Worker -- Along with Every Conservative in America
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Something horrible happened to Bill Sparkman, who worked part-time as a Census worker in rural southeastern Kentucky.

He was found dead. Tied to a tree. Preliminary tests show he died of asphyxiation.

But the “cause of Sparkman’s death is under investigation, and authorities have not ruled out suicide, an accident or homicide, said Kentucky state police spokesman Don Trosper. A full medical report on Sparkman’s death is not complete,” according to the Washington Post.

Let me repeat that: The “cause of Sparkman’s death is under investigation, and authorities have not ruled out suicide, an accident or homicide, said Kentucky state police spokesman Don Trosper. A full medical report on Sparkman’s death is not complete.”

No matter. A speculative rumor spread by the Associated Press that Sparkman may have been targeted because of his Census job — coupled with an unsubstantiated claim that “fed” was “scrawled” on his chest — was enough “evidence” for the nutroots to convict every outspoken conservative activist and advocate for limited government of a murder that has yet to be determined a murder.

Democratic Underground immediately posted a “Handy Guide to how Republicans and Fox News are responsible for Census worker being hanged,” where a DU user fumed:

We need to absolutely expose Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann, Michelle Malkin, CNN’s Lou Dobbs, Michael Steele, Rush Limbaugh and the legion of others parroting right-wing lies for trumping up this nonsense and getting people to now commit murder in a hideous fashion.

The Democratic Underground is an unrepresentative fring voice, you say? Well, here’s the “respectable” New York magazine pointing hysterical fingers at Bachmann, Limbaugh, “conservative media personalities, websites, and even members of Congress.”

Newsbusters spotlighted HuffPo indictments issued against conservative talk radio for the Sparkman’s death.

Radio Equalizer has video and transcript of left-wing radio loon Stephanie Miller blaming the Tea Party movement.

And Allahpundit points to this heinous graphic of a hanged man implicating yours truly, Sarah Palin, the Second Amendment, and every blanket criticism of ACORN, the SEIU, illegal immigration, Obamacare, and socialism under the sun.

They did this with the George Tiller shooting and the Holocaust Museum shooting and the Binghamton immigration center shooting. Motives had yet to be determined and bodies were still warm, but that did not stop the stampede from exploiting every bloody opportunity to redefine conservative political expression as an incitement to violence.

Meanwhile, other details initially reported by the AP that sparked the Census worker-was-murdered-because-he-was-a-government-worker meme continue to crumble. From McClatchy:

William E. Sparkman, 51, of Laurel County, Ky., reportedly had the word “fed” scrawled on his chest. That raised questions about whether he was killed because of hard feelings against the government and catapulted the mysterious death into a national story.

However, on Thursday, police had not confirmed Sparkman was even doing census work in Clay County at the time he died, said Capt. Lisa Rudzinski, commander of the state police post handling the investigation.

One media report — which quoted a census official saying a computer Sparkman used for census work was found in his truck near the cemetery — wasn’t true, Rudzinski said.

Police found Sparkman’s red pickup truck, but the computer wasn’t in it, she said.

…”There are too many unanswered questions for us to lean one way or the other,” Rudzinski said. “We have not ruled this is a hate crime against a federal employee. We’re still trying to determine if foul play was involved.”


…Reports that Sparkman was hanging from a tree at the cemetery create an image that doesn’t fit the evidence where Sparkman was found, Rudzinski said. Sparkman had a rope around his neck that was attached to a tree, but he was not hanging in the sense that many people envision, she said. Sparkman’s body was in contact with the ground, state police said in a news release.

News that Sparkman had the word “fed” on his chest came to the Associated Press from a law enforcement official who requested anonymity. The official did not tell the AP what was used to scrawl the word on Sparkman.

David Beyer, a spokesman for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in Kentucky, said the agency was assisting state police and trying to figure out if Sparkman’s death had anything to do with his being a federal employee.

State police contacted the FBI about the case because Sparkman was a federal employee, not because of a belief that his death resulted from his employment, Rudzinski said.

To recap:

1) Police have not determined yet that this was murder.

2) He wasn’t hanging from the tree.

3) It hasn’t been determined if he was even working as a Census data collector at the time of his death or whether that job had anything at all to do with his demise.


I killed the Kentucky Census worker — along with every man and woman in America who is guilty of having said or written anything critical of government.

The criminalization of conservatism continues.

(Republished from by permission of author or representative)
• Category: Ideology • Tags: Census, Nutroots