I wrote about PETA’s anti-fishing jihad back in 2003. They’re still at it.
People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.
Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?
Ask the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to stop promoting sea kitten hunting.
I think I’ll make sea kitten sticks for lunch today.
Meanwhile, my fellow sea kitten-eaters at Twitter share their new names for other favorite foods:
Pasture puppies: Steak.
Yard birdie parmesan: Chicken parmesan.
Tuna sea kitties. Tuna fish.
And another snort-worthy euphemism:
“Maybe we should rename rats tube puppies. Think how much nicer the NYC subways would be!”
Wonder what names PETA has for all the animals it has killed?
Har!: Castle Argghhh! has redesigned your tuna sea kitten cans.