Update: Gloves off.

***

Question: What weighty world issue are the two leading Democrat presidential candidates attacking each other over?

Answer: How long Barack Obama has wanted to be president.

No, really. I’m not kidding. And neither are they. Hillary Clinton’s campaign site features the following press release. Remember: It’s not a satire:

Sen. Obama Rewrites History, Claims He Hasn’t Been Planning White House Run

Today in Iowa, Senator Barack Obama said: “I have not been planning to run for President for however number of years some of the other candidates have been planning for.”

Oh really?

“Senator Obama’s comment today is fundamentally at odds with what his teachers, family, classmates and staff have said about his plans to run for President,” Clinton spokesperson Phil Singer said. “Senator Obama’s campaign rhetoric is getting in the way of his reality.”

Immediately after joining the Senate, Senator Obama started planning run for President. “‘The first order of business for Senator Obama’s team was charting a course for his first two years in the Senate. The game plan was to send Senator Obama into the 2007-2008 election cycle in the strongest form possible’…The final act of the plan was turning up the talk about a potential Presidential bid, which was greatly aided by his positive press and suggestions by pundits that he run for President.” [U.S. News and World Report, 6/19/07 ]

His law school classmates say that Senator Obama has been planning Presidential run for ‘more than a decade.’ [A]ccording to those who know him, he has been talking about the presidency for more than a decade. “It was clear to me from the day I met him that he was thinking about politics,” says Harvard Law School classmate Christine Spurell. [Washington Post, 8/12/07 ]

15 years ago, Senator Obama told his brother-in-law he was planning to run for President. Craig [Robinson] pulled him aside [in 1992] and asked about his plans. “He said, ‘I think I’d like to teach at some point in time, and maybe run for public office,’ recalls Robinson, who assumed Senator Obama meant he’d like to run for city alderman. “He said no — at some point he’d like to run for the U.S. Senate. And then he said, ‘Possibly even run for President at some point.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, but don’t say that to my Aunt Gracie.’ I was protecting him from saying something that might embarrass him.” [Washington Post, 8/12/07 ]

In third grade, Senator Obama wrote an essay titled ‘I Want To Be a President.’ His third grade teacher: Fermina Katarina Sinaga “asked her class to write an essay titled ‘My dream: What I want to be in the future.’ Senator Obama wrote ‘I want to be a President,’ she said.” [The Los Angeles Times, 3/15/07]

ORDER IT NOW

In kindergarten, Senator Obama wrote an essay titled ‘I Want to Become President.’ “Iis Darmawan, 63, Senator Obama’s kindergarten teacher, remembers him as an exceptionally tall and curly haired child who quickly picked up the local language and had sharp math skills. He wrote an essay titled, ‘I Want To Become President,’ the teacher said.” [AP, 1/25/07 ]

And Obama’s new “counterattack” website bravely, intrepidly, staunchly takes Hillary on:

Clinton Release: “Sen. Obama Rewrites History, Claims He Hasn’t Been Planning White House Run…Senator Obama’s comment today is fundamentally at odds with what his teachers, family, classmates and staff have said about his plans to run for President,” Clinton spokesperson Phil Singer said. ‘Senator Obama’s campaign rhetoric is getting in the way of his reality.'” [Clinton Press Release, 12/2/07]

Washington Post: “Losing Ground In Iowa, Clinton Assails Obama.” “With a new poll showing her losing ground in the Iowa caucus race, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) mounted a new, more aggressive attack against Sen. Barack Obama.” [Washington Post, 12/3/07]

Des Moines Register: “Clinton Begins To Swing Harder At Rival Obama.” “Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton ramped up her criticism of rival Barack Obama.” [Des Moines Register, 12/3/07]

New York Daily News: “Hillary Clinton Attack On Barack Obama Comes After She Loses Iowa Lead.” “Hours after a new poll showed her falling behind for the first time in Iowa, Hillary Clinton launched a blistering personal broadside on rival Barack Obama.” [New York Daily News, 12/3/07]

Chicago Tribune: “This Clinton Attack On Obama Could Boomerang.” “The Clinton people are citing a kindergarten essay by Obama as evidence against him in a presidential campaign. Good thing he was born before widespread pre-natal ultrasounds. Who knows how they might’ve used that against him? Clinton’s people have thrown similar jabs before at Obama but it hasn’t fazed him. So their seems to be a little more fury behind the punches as now that Obama’s may have taken the lead in Iowa according to the Des Moines Register’s most recent poll.” [Chicago Tribune, The Swamp, 12/3/07]

New York Times: “An Attack, From the Candidate’s Mouth” [New York Times, 12/2/07]

New York Times: “Battered by Poll, Clinton Hits Back” [New York Times, 12/2/07]

…INCLUDING OBAMA’S KINDERGARTEN ESSAYS

Clinton Release: “In kindergarten, Senator Obama wrote an essay titled ‘I Want to Become President. ‘Iis Darmawan, 63, Senator Obama’s kindergarten teacher, remembers him as an exceptionally tall and curly haired child who quickly picked up the local language and had sharp math skills. He wrote an essay titled, ‘I Want To Become President,’ the teacher said.” [AP, 1/25/07]

…JUST WEEKS AFTER PROMISING NOT TO ATTACK DEMOCRATS

Clinton Said “I’m Not Interested In Attacking My Opponents, I’m Interested In Attacking The Problems Of America.” “I’m not interested in attacking my opponents, I’m interested in attackng the problems of America. And I believe we should be turning up the heat on the Republicans — they deserve all the heat we can give them.” [Clinton Jefferson Jackson speech]

Clinton: Obama is ambitious!

Obama: Hillary is mean!

Wake me up when December ends.