The current sexual harassment obsession may eventually subside but until then, matters will probably get worse. And by “worse” we don’t mean just additional victims accused of long past increasingly petty offenses. Rather, social justice warriors will soon join the crusade and their involvement will be far more odious than digging up dirt about celebrities behaving badly. But, the good news is that this involvement may eventually help cool the insanity.
Everyone in the entertainment business (and politics) knows that most young women flirt to advance their professional careers. Conversely, most men, whether straight or gay, are often governed by their libidos and usually welcome opportunities to score. The problem arises if women are a bit too sexually appealing and men a bit too amorous when a quid pro quo opportunity arises. In other words, the seduction urge is hard-wired into countless human encounters so it just a matter of how it is directed.
Equally obvious, some women are better suited to play this “game” and thus disadvantage their inept rivals. And no need to be a rocket scientist to notice the likely winners in today’s personal advancement seduction game. Likely female winners are young, physically attractive, slim white (or sometimes, Asian) disproportionately blond women. Translated into PC speak, pretty young blonds enjoy unearned privilege.
Thus understood, a willowy, knockout white woman skilled at showcasing her charm is the functional equivalent of a rich WASP male applying to Harvard—both need only to flash their “privilege card” and the doors fly open. By contrast, an obese, tattooed squat black woman with a cheap weave is DOA when it comes to convincing Harvey Weinstein to read her screenplay even if it is the next Casablanca.
Equally unfair, the obese woman of color will be denied any opportunity to collect hefty pay-offs for silence or court-ordered damage awards from the accused white men (and if a suit were brought, juries might have a hard time believing that an influential white male who had his choice of available tarts would put the make on such an unattractive woman) Again, in PC speak: all woman of color who refuse to accept the patriarchy’s definition of female beauty are disadvantaged, marginalized and stigmatized, “the other” in the quest for economic equality.
For any woke social justice warrior, the inequitable nature of this unearned privilege cries out for action. After all, the traits that define a young lady who successfully manipulates the hormones of powerful men comprise only about 10% of the population. Even among the entire white female population, rivals to this eye candy are generally too old, too ugly and too inept at marketing what little allure they possess. If you add women of color to this picture, those resembling hot Fox News anchors doubtless drops to 5% or less. In sum,—the svelte young blonds monopolize the casting couch!
Can this sexist lookism be overcome? Forget about trying to transform all the excluded women, particularly the historically marginalized into alluring honeys. Even if a physical make-over were possible, this campaign would privilege a tiny sliver of female “whiteness” as the gold standard of beauty, a cure worse than the disease and thus absolutely ideologically verboten.
What about handicapping these young white sexpots much like Ivy League discriminates against Asian grinds with perfect SAT scores? How about making the hot babes dress like nuns and ban make-up? It might help but hard to enforce and predatory movers and shakers will not be fooled—they’re expert at discerning quality female flesh.
There is, however, a solution that would satisfy the most rabid feminist: give get-out-of-jail-free cards to predators who embrace inclusion and diversity. Instead of Harvey trying to cop a plea by devoting his life to fighting the NRA, he should have immediately confessed his sins but then showed the world photographs of all the women he regularly hit upon, a venerable House of All Nations. Here would be women of multiple pigmentations and body shapes (particularly those of the plus-size persuasion), a fair number of divorced women of “a certain age” and a sprinkling of those desperately needing cosmetic plastic surgery and just to ice the cake, women of conspicuous physical and mental disabilities. The catalogue would surely demonstrate Harvey’s rejection of both lookism and ableism.
This equal-opportunity Harvey might even take the credit for jump-starting the film career of Gabourney Sidike, a super-sized black actress who was once described as having “…the head [of] a balloon on the body of a zeppelin, her cheeks so inflated they squash her eyes into slits.” Loved all juicy 300 pounds of her, Harvey would boast.
Every one of these ladies, he could honestly explain, received a fair shot at becoming a movie star regardless of their weight, age, physical traits, preferred pronoun, race/ethnicity or any other trait that rejects society’s male-centered heterosexual definition of feminine beauty. Yes, Weinstein would continue, I was a rake but an inclusive one and, rest assured, my seduction techniques reflected all appropriate cultural values, did not verbally weight sham anyonewhile validating everybody with the respect that they deserved.
And, just for good measure, Harvey would continue, I fully acknowledge that as a white, cis-gendered heterosexual normative male, whose Jewish faith makes me especially sensitive to the oppression of minorities, this was not always easy but I have learned valuable multicultural lessons from these experiences that have made me a better person. Who could condemn such a hero?
What’s more, all those angry feminist accusers, few of whom await the call from Fox News, will feel immense pleasure at knowing that they are hotter than those ugly desperate sluts that poor Harvey tried to bed (always remember the satisfaction women experience when denigrating the physical traits of potential rivals). What man-hating feminist could possibly be jealous of Harvey’s parade of unappetizing conquests? Some might even be sympathetic—“Is that the best that poor fat slob could do?”
Now for the solution: faced with diversity and inclusion as the sole escape from the ire of the witch-hunters, how many men will reform their evil sexist lookism ways? That is, abandon groping and otherwise harassing sexy young knockouts and replacing them with, for example, chubby older hags of varied hues? Will predators suddenly embrace affirmative action for unattractive women? My guess is that most habitual harassers will demure from this PC option and instead choose the safer route of long-term girlfriends, discreet hookers or, when all else fails, finding sexual excitement with their wives. I can already hear Harvey kvetching: “If I have to screw that fat-assed chocolate tub of lard to my get-out-of-jail-free card, no thanks. I’ll stay home and watch porn with my drop dead gorgeous wife.”