What a missed opportunity. He’s been called every -ist and -ism in the book during his entire congressional career yet he keeps getting reelected even when other Iowan Republicans lose, so why play by their rules? Now that he has gone full pathetic pusillanimity, he very well may not be reelected in 2020–if he even runs at all. I understand it’s easy for me to play chickenhawk while hiding behind a pseudonym, but once a man is out there, he may as well be out there without reservation.
You’re King. The NYT blood libel piece is out. The House of Reprehensibles is preparing to vote on a resolution resolutely condemning your hateful hate. You call a press conference. Lying through your teeth, you inform every Fake News outlet that you’re going to repudiate the unfortunate things you’ve said, issue a full apology, and ask for forgiveness and the chance to do whatever you can to help heal the hurt you’ve caused. All the 24-hour news stations are here, eagerly awaiting your prostrated mea culpa press conference they will all be airing live. You walk up to the podium, and… what do you say?