It’s nothing, stop being racist against the Chinese. Hug them instead.
Wash your hands and sanitize inorganic surfaces to stop the spread.
Don’t wear masks, they don’t help.
The virus is far more deadly than the flu. Not many people have it yet, but it spreads fast so if many get it, millions will die.
Actually, the virus doesn’t hang out for days on inorganic surfaces, it spreads through the air.
So duh, wear masks, they help.
Stay inside. We’re grinding the economy to a halt so there’s no point in going out, anyway.
Actually, the virus spreads inside. Go outside, but don’t be in large groups of close proximity.
Excepting the aged and immunocompromised, the virus actually isn’t very deadly but lots of people have it.
Large groups in close proximity are actually okay if the cause is righteous.
Actually actually, social distancing is crucial. No large groups.
After being lied to, humiliated, and immiserated by the lab coats and their venerable institutions, we’ve surely wised up. When they try to force another cold shutdown of the economy, we’ll scoff. Shame us once, shame on you. But shame us twice… Uh oh (“not sure” responses, constituting 11% of the total, are excluded):
At least people who like working from home get to keep the 60-second commute alive. It’s not like the tech and service companies they work for, after six months of functioning without anyone at the office, will realize if they can function with their employees living the next city over then they can function with their employees living the next hemisphere over. And the employees from other hemispheres are a lot cheaper. Business has slowed down so it’s imperative costs are cut, see.