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Sportsballing with Cameroon on a Sunday Afternoon
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Scrolling through Nintendo Wii’s old game offerings, I see Super Dodge Ball but not Nintendo World Cup. Both were Technos creations and used the same graphics engines. The costs of putting old titles on offer is negligible–sales must be virtually (heh) all margin.

The reason one is for purchase while the other is a no show? Political correctness, I suspect. Unlike revamped versions of old games with added features, the Wii downloads are unchanged from the originals. That way there is no cost for Nintendo associated with the re-releases. In this context, it means the teams a player has to face in each game remain unchanged.

In Super Dodge Ball, the American team faces the following, in ascending level of difficulty:

1) England
2) India
3) Iceland
4) China
5) Kenya
6) Japan

A majority of the teams are non-white. Of those that are white, two are cakewalks. Fittingly, the Soviets are the most formidable opponent, something that felt real enough when the game was released stateside in 1989. Today, though we wish more than anything that it felt real, it doesn’t.

Even the pre-match graphic is insulting
Even the pre-match graphic is insulting

The teams faced in Nintendo World Cup, again in ascending level of difficulty:

1) Cameroon
2) Japan
3) France
4) Russia
5) Spain
6) England
7) Mexico
8) Holland
9) Brazil
10) Italy
11) Argentina

The Germans have better huts
The Germans have better huts

12) West Germany

The game throws a bone to Latin America but Africa gets dumped on.

Cameroon, Africa’s sole representative, hasn’t even developed the pass! All the Cameroon players are capable of doing is trying to dribble from wherever they get the ball all the way to the other goal, even if it’s a defender who gets possession and even if he is swarmed by the other team.

Transitioning to sports-related things people actually care about, the NFL is in trouble. This is now the fourth consecutive year of ratings declines for the league, and tussling with Trump–from Ted Cruz to CNN--rarely does anybody any good. He has a talent for ensuring that his opponents always come out worse for the wear:

The NFL won a big battle against Trump’s United States Football League in the eighties, but the war isn’t over!

Football surpassed baseball as America’s pastime decades ago. Consequently, it shows up near the partisan center of the following graph (that I recall seeing years ago in a Steve Sailer post I cannot currently locate) because of the sheer size of its viewership:

Remove blacks from consideration and the NFL bubble shifts to the right. Then, with respect to the 2016 presidential election, nudge it a bit farther to the right to account for blue collar whites who traditionally identify as Democrats but who voted for Trump (and correspondingly move the PGA bubble to the left to account for Republicans who look like Mitt Romney not voting for Trump), and we can see the threat this poses to the NFL.

Deplorable wasting a Sunday afternoon
Deplorable wasting a Sunday afternoon

NPR-listening SWPL-types have no love lost for football. They think its low-class and barbaric, and that its fans are crass and stupid. While they’re happy to highlight the riff to hurt Trump, they’re simultaneously coming after the league for something that could genuinely present it with an existential crisis if the nearly $765 million CTE settlement turns out to just be the beginning.

Sports are the true opiate of the contemporary American masses. If the upshot of all this is middle Americans frittering away less time–and more importantly, less tribalistic impulse–watching mercenaries smashing into each other so that the time and energy is freed up to do things like, say, make America great again, it’ll be a win.

(Republished from The Audacious Epigone by permission of author or representative)
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  1. I find it hilarious that the NFL willingly backed themselves into a no-win situation. Whatever happens, Trump is right and whatever happens, it's because the NFL is racist or the NFL hates America. Plenty of clickbait articles will be written about it in the next few hours if not now.

    What's even funnier is how the NFL is going to respond to irreversibly declining ratings. ESPN, who is a major instigator of all of this, is going through something similar: they have to be #woke at all times, which means whites are leaving but if they're not always talking about the plight of rich black millionaires, then it is because they are racist and are white supremacists. Fortunately Disney owns them so ESPN will always be around but it is going to go through a lot of restructuring these next few years as they struggle to find a way to pay their obscene NFL contracts.

    Meanwhile the NHL is growing in popularity. My guess is that suburban burgers disgusted with the NFL will switch to the NHL, complete with lots of clickbait wailing about how racists are flocking to the much whiter NHL. Heck, you might even see MLB and MLS getting ratings boosts as a result of people leaving the NFL. It will be an eventual but noticeable change.

    The (((tribe))) could have just let things well enough alone but they have to inject social justice into everything with disastrous results. Even though we tend to be political people, most suburban burgers enjoy sportsball to escape from their shitty jobs, shitty marriages, etc. and just want to be left alone.

  2. Random Dude,

    Searching for the payout for the CTE settlement led me to, which is linked to in the post. The sidebar had a list of current stories–this is from–and the first five all had to do with players taking a knee in solidarity against Trump, staying in the locker room in defiance of Trump, etc. Not until the sixth story did I see anything having to do with the gameplay of an actual game that is being played today.

    I couldn't have imagined it was this bad, and I only stopped following sports five years ago.

  3. Everywhere I look, I see one institution, firm or industry after another blatantly engaged in ritual suicide. News media doubling down on fake news, GOP cucks going full leftist retard, entertainment entities (e.g., ESPN and Hollywood) insulting half or more of their customer base….

    It's a sign of something. Perhaps when a narrative has reached the end of its lifespan, some sort of natural apoptosis sets in.

    The smoke of change is in the air. All we await is the fire line to appear.

  4. Football is one of the few areas where I'm a SWPL: I think the sport is boring to watch, it brutalizes those who play it (if the concussions don't get you, then say good-bye to your joints), it absorbs way too much blind devotion, way too much college money is funneled into it, and so forth. Frankly, I'm glad it's imploding with anti-Americanism so that now I can openly dislike it without coming off as a prig.

    Frankly, I suspect people have become ever more uncomfortable with the sport, but the anti-Americanism is giving people an out. Good riddance, let patriotic Americans find another outlet (sports or otherwise), let SWPLs sue it to hell, and then let disloyal idiots play it to small audiences.

  5. Sid,

    I stopped following the sport a few years ago. Like converts in so many other areas of life, I too am happy to see the league brought to its knees (heh).

  6. Anonymous • Disclaimer says:

    Here's an idea for a meme
    "Hate Speech is not Free Speech"
    Pic of NFL idiot taking a knee (the idiot that started would really be good)
    "I Hate America"
    Call it a little truth in advertising and yes I'm glad to see the Normalized Felons League brought to it's knees

    traitors first

  7. Anon,

    Great idea. Aesthetics isn't my thing, but I'll give it a shot in microsoft paint and then someone with talent can redo it if it catches on.

  8. Anon,

    I can't do it, it'll have to come from someone else. It's rhetorical gold but the cognitive dissonance is too strong for me to put it out there.

  9. WRT tribalism, since Boomers learned in their youth that the worst thing in the world was racial and/or economic collectivism, they've put all their collectivist energy into literal war and "innocent" substitutes for war (sports). While relatively benign soccer still is king outside of America/Canada, American and Canadian Boomers fully embraced football, boxing, and ice hockey (in which fighting is legal and horrific injuries resulting from both legal and illegal maneuvers are common place). Mind you, baseball and basketball were invented in North America, and were favored in the unpretentious late 1930's-late 1960's.

    What has to be surreal is the degree to which people born in the 40's/50's/60's avoid ethno-nationalism like it's some kind of cancer, while also egging on multi-cultural military units and sports units to inflict more damage on the opposition. Boomers were the least hesitant about flexing muscle in Vietnam, and though some certainly opposed the military in the 60's and 70's, in subsequent decades they've "over-corrected" by deluding themselves into believing that the US almost always uses military force for the greater good. Some of this "splashed" on to early Gen X-ers as well (who came of age in the Reagan era, when Boomers largely embraced the idea of America-as-the-world's-cop).

    The good news, I suppose, is that people born in the mid 70's and thereafter are less enthusiastic about gladiator spectacle and war mongering. If they don't necessarily embrace ethno-nationalism, at least they aren't displacing any latent tendencies to such onto barbaric idiocy like violent sports and Pentagon worship. Also, younger people are showing more interest in reviving FDR era economic policies which led to a tremendous middle class and greater worker protections.

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