I read the first entries in the Harry Potter series in the span of a couple of weeks in the mid-2000s. My younger brother was enthralled by the books but hadn’t seen any of the movies released up to that point. I thought it a nice big brother gesture to watch them with him and wanted to know the score before doing so.
Something I remember with distinct annoyance were the risibly stupid rules of the in-universe game of Quidditch. Six players per side get smashed to hell as they scramble after a big ball–the “quaffle”–that earns a team that scores with it 10 points. Each team also has a seventh player called a “seeker”. The seeker exclusively chases a smaller ball–the “golden snitch”–that, once captured, gives his team 150 points and ends the game.
There is no time limit. The match concludes when the small ball is captured, and because it’s worth so much, the team that captures the golden snitch virtually always wins. Infogalactic informs us that one game in the series ends with the team capturing the golden snitch losing, but in this exceptional instance it was done intentionally.
So the matches consist of six players on each side getting pounded by flying iron balls for no purpose other than the entertainment of the spectators while the outcome is decided solely by which seeker manages to capture the golden snitch.
I bring this up in the context of Ann Coulter’s great column on Roy Moore’s loss in Alabama last week:
Everyone who screwed the pooch on this one better realize fast: All that matters is immigration. It’s all that matters to the country, and it’s all that matters for winning elections.
“Anti-establishment” is not a winning issue. Without immigration as the GOP’s lodestar, every election will be a rerun of the Tea Party from 2010 to 2012, when Republicans lost Senate seat after Senate seat, entirely in unforced errors.
We’ll have to watch helplessly as “establishment Republicans” fight “anti-establishment Republicans” over the right to milk a he-goat. Both sides will lose, and Democrats will sweep Congress and destroy our country.
Immigration was never a top issue for Moore, though, when pressed, he gave the right answers. That’s not a good way to prioritize.
Republicans who treat immigration as a backburner issue should be required to run on the issues they consider more important—in California. See how your arguments fare in a state that’s already been transformed by immigration. That’s your new country.
How stupid do you have to be to carry on about taxes, defense spending, ISIS, abortion or the Ten Commandments while intentionally losing on the one issue that will determine the outcome of all these other issues? Too stupid to be of any real help.
Taxes? Quaffle. Defense spending? Quaffle. ISIS? Quaffle. Abortion? Quaffle. Ten commandments? Quaffle.
Immigration is the golden snitch. It doesn’t matter what happens with the other issues. If we don’t capture the National Question, any quaffle points we accumulate will turn out to be nothing more than distractions for fans on our side to cheer about momentarily before we lose the game.
As fans, we must insist on our front office start putting everything into recruiting the best seekers (the single player on the pitch who pursues the golden snitch) and stop wasting so much time and energy on quaffle showmen. Derb essentially concludes as much in this week’s broadcast, so take it’s importance from him.