The Ukraine is winning. Hard.
Like, imagine if you went into a gas station and bought a scratch off lottery ticket and won \$33 billion. Well, in the Ukraine, that’s just called “another walk in the park at night where a bunch of people are squatting around a trashcan fire huffing glue.”
$33 Billion more to Ukraine and this subway stop is in Philly.
— ➐ Z (@Zinnsgh0st) April 30, 2022
Ukraine people scratch-scratch and ching-ching.
Money ain’t shit to Ukraine people. Ukraine people go into the store, and they don’t buy that cheap glue. Why would they? Money ain’t shit to them. In Ukraine, they stopped selling the cheap glue. No one was buying it. Imagine if you had \$33 billion smackers – would you be squatting in the park around a trashcan fire at 4 AM huffing the cheap glue?
I’d be walking into that store decked out in gold chains and Gucci, buying that good glue. I’d rap about it and post it to social media alongside my cannibalism videos – “you can find me in the park, bottle full of glue, look, mami, I got the glue if you’re into huffin’ glue.”
However, while the Ukraine is winning like Iron Man or the Avengers – possibly even like Guardians of the Galaxy – at getting massive sums of money and weapons for free from foreign countries, they are facing a few minor problems on the warfront.
Vladimir Zelensky’s top advisor Oleksiy Arestovych has very unfortunately announced that people need to prepare themselves for defeat in the Donbass. The good news is, Ukraine people are winning hard in places where there are no Russian forces. Also, it’s possible that Azov is going to bust out of Azovstal where somehow they haven’t starved to death yet and start really kicking hard asses.
He made these statements at a Sunday briefing on the state of the situation.
According to Arestovych, after the official order issued by the Russian Defense Ministry to transfer combat efforts to the east of Ukraine, enemy troops are trying to surround Ukrainian forces in the JFO area, “finish” Mariupol and retain the defense in Kherson – southern Ukraine. At the same time, Arestovych noted that if the Ukrainian army repels the enemy defense in the south, then the position of Russian forces the area of Mariupol would significantly worsen.
“They understand this. They do it. They have officially stated this. This means the next thing. On the one hand, it gives us hope in the area of Kyiv, Chernihiv, Sumy region, Kharkiv region that we will get rid of the enemy there, we will repel it from there. Secondly, it means a possible, potential deterioration or a sharp deterioration of the situation around Mariupol and in the JFO area,” he said.
He assured that the military and political leadership of Ukraine, as well as the leadership of the Ukrainian Defense Forces understand the situation and take all necessary measures to resist the enemy.
“But I want to say that the next week or two will be uneven. There will be reports that we are winning, counterattacking and repelling in some areas. We are liberating our lands from the enemy. However, there will also be information that in some parts of the front, particularly in the east, the situation is complicated. You need to be emotionally, organizationally and consciously ready for this,” Arestovych said.
Prepare your emotions for Russian military forces to take the entire part of the country that they made claim to, and also continue to hold parts they made no claim to before they invaded.
It’s a sad situation. Fortunately, Ukraine people have enough money to buy enough glue to emotionally prepare themselves for literally anything. Most of you reading this have probably not ever even huffed that good glue, but from reports I’m getting from the frontlines of Ukraine Democracy War, that good glue is about as good as it gets.
Also according to Arestovych – again, the #1 advisor to the president of Ukraine – Ukraine people do not even have brains. Just gas. That’s why they’re so easily swayed by factual information about how they’re winning so hard.
#Zelenskyy's advisor #Arestovych babbles out why the US chose #Ukraine as a tool against #Russia and Europe: we're a f*cked up country with a f*cked up collective unconscious. The average Ukrainian is an ideal victim of the information war. Instead of a brain,he has an ideal gas. pic.twitter.com/idMaSHg97g
— ZradaXXII (@ZradaXXII) April 30, 2022
Heres’ what happens in you’re daily life if you’re a Ukraine person:
- Win \$33 billion
- Win \$33 billion
- Win \$33 billion
- Win \$33 billion
- Lose the Donbass and also some other territories outside of Russia’s initial territorial claim
Imagine you scratch off an instant lottery ticket and win \$33 billion, then you walk out of the store and someone spits on your boots.
Imagine you rape a woman and then she tells you you have a small penis. It doesn’t matter much, does it? She’s already raped, and you’re headed to the store to buy some more glue with that \$33 billion you won.
Well, that’s what it’s like for the Ukraine to lose the Donbass and other regions.
Ukraine has so much money, Ukraine people social media influencers aren’t stuck eating Russian cockroach meat – they’re eating straight-up 100% pure Ukraine people.
A regular guy from #Kyiv, #Ukraine cooks and eats human remains which he found in what he believed was a burned Russian tank. However the tank was a Ukrainian T-64, which means he ate his fellow tribesman.
Thanks a lot to:@ZradaXXII pic.twitter.com/te2B4HAGWi
— Juan Sinmiedo (@Youblacksoul) April 28, 2022
In case you didn’t know: Ukraine people don’t simply have a strong democracy of a rules based order of values – Ukraine people are vastly superior to Russian people in every way. This includes how they taste.
Have you seen how hard Ukraine people are winning in parts of the country Russians already left, because they never laid claim on them in the first place?
Ukraine people won the Battle of Kiev like they were throwing a used tube of glue at some granny sweeping the street. It was nothing to them to win the Battle of Kiev – they literally didn’t even have to confront the Russian military.
Russian cockroach monster orcs felt the strong psychic vibrations emanating from Ukraine people in Kiev and fled like cowards to take the territory that Russia claims and some other parts of the country.
Kyiv, Chernihiv, Sumy – you name it, Ukraine people are winning hard.
Imagine you’re a football team and you’ve scored 50 field goals and you’re winning by 300 points and then the other team scores one touchdown before the bell. Well, that’s what it’s like to lose the Donbass after winning the Battle of Kiev, the Battle of Chernihiv, and the Battle of Sumy.
At the Battle of Kiev, Ukraine people were like “bend over Russia and let me tap dat ass.”
The Battle of Kiev is now considered to be one of the greatest victories in military history.
When this war is over, Ukraine people will have won EVERYTHING (except for the Donbass and some other regions, and maybe they’ll have to sign some kind of neutrality pact agreeing to not join NATO). In a matter of weeks, this staggering Ukraine victory will be complete. This is like if you’re world heavyweight champion and you step into the ring with some wimp and he taps you once before you knock him out.
Losing the Donbass and a few other territories and agreeing to sign a neutrality pact is going to pale in comparison to winning the Battle of Kiev and \$33 billion dollars.
Reddit and Zelensky were right about Zelensky – he is literally Winston Churchill in an undershirt.