The Unz Review: An Alternative Media Selection
A Collection of Interesting, Important, and Controversial Perspectives Largely Excluded from the American Mainstream Media
 BlogviewRon Unz Archive
Bananas and Republics
🔊 Listen RSS
Email This Page to Someone

 Remember My Information



=>

Bookmark Toggle AllToCAdd to LibraryRemove from Library • BShow CommentNext New CommentNext New ReplyRead More
ReplyAgree/Disagree/Etc. More... This Commenter This Thread Hide Thread Display All Comments
AgreeDisagreeLOLTroll
These buttons register your public Agreement, Disagreement, Troll, or LOL with the selected comment. They are ONLY available to recent, frequent commenters who have saved their Name+Email using the 'Remember My Information' checkbox, and may also ONLY be used once per hour.
Ignore Commenter Follow Commenter
Search Text Case Sensitive  Exact Words  Include Comments
List of Bookmarks

Bananas and Republics by Ron Unz
LewRockwell.com, May 14, 2004

I must grudgingly admit that our Iraqi Adventure seems to have become in some respects a fascinating and invaluable educational experience, nearly on a daily basis.

For example, today’s morning papers revealed that one or more of the prison images being shown to our august Senators and Congressmen depicted scenes of Iraqi POWs sodomizing themselves with bananas, a fact which led one Republican lawmaker to darkly suspect that the action taken was not entirely voluntary, and “was probably coerced somehow.”

This suggestion seems quite speculative to me. From what I’ve vaguely heard, sodomizing one’s own self with a banana for the video cameras is something of a national pastime, not merely among Iraqis but for Muslims in general. In fact, one might even suspect that the Iraqis thus shown were actually being rewarded for their especially helpful cooperation with American interrogators.

Still, if I am wrong and the shrewd Congressman correct in his suggestion that the acts shown were somehow connected with the interrogation process, it seems to indicate the increasingly multiculturalist influences operating upon our neocon masters. After all, from what I have read in the history books, although both the Stalinist and Trotskyite factions of the international Communist movement were notoriously prone to torture, the techniques they followed tended to be rather simple and even somewhat puritanical, and I’ve never heard of a single Communist regime anywhere that ever used bananas for self-sodomy. Just as David Brooks has similarly suggested, perhaps we are seeing a sign of the emergence of the BoCos, namely Bohemian Communists, otherwise known as neocons.

Admittedly, another possible explanation is simply that Soviet-style agricultural policies left it absolutely impossible to procure even a single banana for interrogation purposes.

On a practical note, I would caution visitors to this website that useful techniques and inventions once discovered tend to rapidly propagate throughout the world. Any of you who fear that you might someday be subjected to interrogation on suspicion of “anti-government agitation” or even that most fearsome charge of “hate thought” should therefore consider immediately obtaining a good supply of bananas and commencing your practice sessions forthwith, since although I have heard that the experience is quite enjoyable, it is also said to be rather something of an acquired taste.

(Republished from LewRockwell by permission of author or representative)
 
• Category: Foreign Policy • Tags: Humor, Middle East 
Current Commenter
says:

Leave a Reply - Comments on articles more than two weeks old will be judged much more strictly on quality and tone


 Remember My InformationWhy?
 Email Replies to my Comment
Submitted comments become the property of The Unz Review and may be republished elsewhere at the sole discretion of the latter
Subscribe to This Comment Thread via RSS Subscribe to All Ron Unz Comments via RSS
Personal Classics
Which superpower is more threatened by its “extractive elites”?
What Was John McCain's True Wartime Record in Vietnam?
Are elite university admissions based on meritocracy and diversity as claimed?