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What Would Tiger Woods be if Golf Didn't Exist?
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Having devoted an inordinate amount of time to thinking about Tiger Woods over the last 27 years, I’ve come to a realization about the golfer. If golf never existed, what would he be?

An athlete in some other sport? A Navy SEAL (as he seriously considered becoming a dozen years ago)?

No. I’m pretty sure that if golf didn’t exist, Tiger Woods would be a Certified Public Accountant with a successful practice in Newport Beach. (Think a West Coast version of Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters.)

This helps explain the paradox that while Tiger is clearly the most talented golfer ever, he’s never quite going to be as cool as Arnold Palmer.

If golf hadn’t existed, Arnie would have been, say, the king Cadillac dealer of Pennsylvania or something.

 
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  1. Clyde says:

    He never would have made Navy Seal. What a hoot.

  2. Anonymous[296] • Disclaimer says:

    What were his scholastic achievements like? Maybe good UC undergrad, top MBA, then consulting or low key fund manager. Drive, demographic profile and (probable) intellect would suggest something a bit more lucrative and worldly than CPA (though not too exciting either).

  3. slumber_j says:

    If golf hadn’t existed, Arnie would have been, say, the king Cadillac dealer of Pennsylvania or something.

    Or maybe a test pilot?

  4. NickG says:

    What Would Tiger Woods be if Golf Didn’t Exist?

    Recreational gynaecologist.

    Come to think of it, he did that anyway; but then to be fair to the fellow, it would have been rude not to.

  5. Dtbb says:

    Tiger in that pic looks like he is mingling with the crowd last weekend in Atlanta.

  6. He’d be a corporate black guy

    Which is a pretty awesome gig

    • Replies: @Jack D
    , @Truth
    , @Truth
  7. Tiger the White transcends cool.

  8. Nathan says:

    The FBI is always looking for bored, athletic CPA’s. And their Hostage Rescue Team would let Tiger get in on all the fast-roping and CQB he could handle.

  9. Anon[217] • Disclaimer says:

    Photo plainly shows that Tiger would not have been allowed to become a Navy Seal.

  10. Barnard says:

    A CPA is as good a guess as any. I don’t see how he had the athletic ability to be a professional in any other sport.

  11. A CPA? That may be the most insulting thing ever written about Tiger Woods.

    Spend more than 15 minutes with a group of CPA’s and you will be so bored that you will be looking for a pistol so you can blow your brains out.

    • Replies: @Barnard
  12. The only interest I ever took in Tiger Woods was when his Viking woman went after him with a golf club. I believe it was an iron of some sort.

    I will be honest and say that I thoroughly disapprove of that Viking woman race mixing with that Tiger Woods creature.

    I can only say that both the Viking woman and the Tiger Woods creature both have extremely large Chiclet type teeth; so that might have been part of the attraction that led the Viking woman to go mudsharking with Woods.

    Woods’s loot might have got her greedy viking attention, too.

    Golf must die so that White Core America can live.

    How so?

    Golf has mesmerized the White Christian upper middle moron in this nation for far too long.

    The White Christian upper middle class morons have let down their guard, because they’re too busy focusing on golf, and they have allowed their nation to turn into a Third World trash heap.

    Steve Sailer spends a lot of time on golf, but very little time on monetary policy.

    Raise the federal funds rate to 20 percent and wipe the White Christian upper middle class out, that’s my modest Swiftian proposal.

    I hereby claim that those men who don’t wear moisture-wicking golf pants and golf shirts when the humidity goes through the roof are damn dopes!

    Golf pants and golf shirts are highly functional and highly stylish.

    I hereby claim that if you are a man and have female like tits I don’t want to see your unsightly figure in a golf shirt, thank you.

    • Replies: @tyrone
    , @Reg Cæsar
  13. VP of Business Development, who knew how to take clients to gentlemen’s clubs.

    I still cannot get out of my head the story about Tiger eating lunch/dinner with the Navy Seals, where he didn’t offer to pay and it resulted in them asking for separate checks. If, somehow, I were ever in a situation where I was out to eat with a dozen Navy Seals, I would feel compelled to pick up the check out of simple manners and/or gratitude, and my annual salary is a small percentage of what Tiger earns in interest each year. It really boggles my mind that, even when surrounded by the few people Tiger would have admire, he still wouldn’t show the least bit of gratitude or respect.

    • Agree: Jim Don Bob
  14. High-flying sports agent.

  15. fnn says:

    What would Floyd Mayweather have done if boxing had not been available to him? Can anyone think of a non-depressing possibility?

    • Replies: @Father O'Hara
    , @Lowe
    , @Truth
  16. Grumpy says:

    Some people are ultra ambitious and seem to be able to will themselves to the top of most of the things they try.

    I am thinking of Mark Sisson, who grew up in a fishing town in Maine, worked multiple jobs by age 14, decided (himself) to transfer from his public high school to Phillips Exeter, then paid his own way through Williams College by painting houses with his own business making six figures by the time he graduated (in the 1970s!), all while running competitively. He gave up his business and moved to the Bay Area to train for the Olympics, took up triathlons, became president of the International Triathlon Union, moved to LA to get into television, started a supplement company, then a blog, wrote a bunch of books, and rode the “paleo diet” wave into the food business, and now I see his face all over the grocery store.

  17. DWright says:

    He would cash that affirmative action golden ticket on a myriad of opportunities.

  18. goatweed says:

    Recruiting Poster:

    Diversity is Our Strength

  19. Marty T says:

    He’s not nearly as cool as Roger Federer either.

    • Replies: @Truth
  20. “Tiger Woods would be a Certified Public Accountant with a successful practice in Newport Beach.”

    My first thought upon reading your titular question was loan officer for a bank or credit union.

    But 27 year old [sic] is closer to the truth. Eldridge would be a Numinous Negro deep within a corporate cube farm somewhere. Chief Diversity Officer.

  21. carol says:

    Damn, he coulda been the Diversity!

  22. Absolute unit.

    https://goo.gl/images/ZYziD4

    If golf didn’t exist, Arnold Palmer would have invented it. :smug:

  23. Not durable enough to be a Navy Seal or really any form of elite military whatever. That requires ability to physically and mentally exert oneself for days weeks months at a time in extremely marginal conditions with little rest. Which is a form of athleticism but since TV broadcasts only last three hours it’s not really in the public mind. If he broke down hitting a golf ball too hard he’s not going to fly in the Seals. I suspect durability is going to be an issue for him in most sports to be honest so I don’t really see him making it anywhere else either.

  24. OT – now Kav + Co. were spiking punch to run trains on the innocent young gals of Holton Arms:

    https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-09-26/avenatti-details-alleged-kavanaugh-gang-rape-scheme-involving-spiked-punch

    They’re working their way up to piles of broken glass, just give them time.

    • Replies: @Thea
    , @JerseyJeffersonian
  25. Sean says:

    Professional race car driver. Whoremaster.

  26. Tiger the White transcends cool.

    “Cool” is so black a concept now that Clarence Thomas has more of it than Mick Jagger, by default.

  27. It’s been said that you know you’ve made it as an artist when they make a refrigerator magnet out of your work. Well, they named a drink after Arnold Palmer. When they name as popular a one after Tiger Woods, then he’ll know that he’s made it as an American golfing icon.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  28. Jack D says:
    @27 year old

    I agree. I don’t think that Woods would have had the intellectual power to run his own successful accounting firm but in a structured corporate environment he would have made a good AA frontman/department head with some S. Asian underlings to do the actual number crunching.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  29. He’d be in a strip club throwing beer bottles at Stormy Daniels.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  30. Jack D says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    I agree. By the end of his life, Palmer lacked cool just for being extremely old (and white). By the end of his life, his endorsement deals were for things like medications taken by old (white) men. Cadillac dealer is apt because Cadillacs are now uncool and associated with old white men too.

  31. gwood says:

    Being an ex-Navy SEAL CPA sounds pretty cool.

  32. Arnold Palmer? You mean the brand of golf shirts for old men? Cool!

  33. prosa123 says: • Website
    @Jack D

    Except for the Escalade, which is cool and also is popular among blacks.

    • Replies: @Truth
  34. He would have wound up in prison.

  35. My hunch is that young Eldrick probably would have had a natural talent for baseball if his father had not been obsessed with making him the world’s first Cabalasian anything, or its first part black major golf champion.

    He would have come of age going into baseball’s steroid era as well.

    I see him as a center fielder, maybe shortstop.

  36. @Jack D

    Uh, he’s buds with Bryson DeChambeau for a reason.

    He is a nerd through and through, complete with a head for numbers.

    • Replies: @Jack D
  37. @Jack D

    No, he got to be old enough to be cool again. Nicklaus is in that awkward age. The young guys idolized Palmer.

  38. @Reg Cæsar

    Clarence Thomas is cool because he has balls of steel. The way things worked out in spite of his blackness, not because of it.

  39. Marty says:

    The accountant would be Ben Crenshaw or Hale Irwin. The strip club owner would be Craig Stadler or Pat Perez. The yacht broker would be Rory McElroy. The porn entrepeneur would be Corey Pavin, the Cadillac dealer would be Hal Sutton.

    • LOL: Desiderius
    • Replies: @U-Bahn
  40. Be nominated to the Supreme Court, but the appointment would be derailed after graphic details of his sex-life leaked.

    I was going to say Tennis, but someone got there first. He probably wouldn’t be as obnoxious as that Williams girl, though.

  41. @Jack D

    But Arizona Tea embraced his iconic beverage and it’s in most of America’s convenience stores. So there’s that.

  42. @Ghost of Bull Moose

    He’d be in a strip club throwing beer bottles at Stormy Daniels.

    Or ambassador to Sweden.

  43. What’s the likelihood this thing might do well in, oh, say, an earthquake?

    San Francisco’s New $2 Billion Transit Center Is Shut Down Over Cracked Beam

    https://www.npr.org/2018/09/26/651749245/san-franciscos-new-2-billion-transit-center-is-shut-down-over-cracked-beam

    “Motorists are kindly asked to avoid driving downtown,” the Transbay Joint Powers Authority said Tuesday…The closure is in effect “until further notice,” the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency says.

  44. @Reg Cæsar

    Maybe I’m missing some subtext here but Mick Jagger ‘culturally appropriated’ his cool from blacks

  45. @Steve from Detroit

    I’d pick up the check, tip the servers largely and ostentatiously, offer the brandy and cigars to my BESTEST OF ALL FRIENDS THE NAVY SEALS and offer to have everybody crash at my mansion followed by brunch the next day. I like the idea of ingratiating myself with some of the most tactically savvy and physically tough men on the planet.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    , @Corvinus
  46. @fnn

    What would he have done?

    Time,my friend. Time.

    • Replies: @SteveRogers42
  47. Barnard says:
    @Mis(ter)Anthrope

    Nearly everyone who has spent time with Tiger privately says he is boring. According to the one of the bios written about him when he was injured, he spends a significant chunk of his free time playing Call of Duty on a Playstation.

  48. Lowe says:
    @fnn

    How about personal trainer?

  49. Thea says:
    @The Wild Geese Howard

    So these kind a brave would knee that this horrible crime was occurring and allowed it to continue for decades racking up who knows how many other young women? That is some sisterhood

  50. Jack D says:
    @Desiderius

    They have golf in common. I’m not sure that if they weren’t both golfers that they would really be buds.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  51. Same thing Michael Jordon would have been without basketball – another unemployed cotton picker.

  52. The real question is “What would Tiger Woods be if Anglo-Saxon civilization didn’t exist?” Golf itself and the entire remunerative structure surrounding it are the products of the most successful collective undertakings in human history, namely the Germanic nations of the North Atlantic and Baltic zones, and their settler enterprises like the United States. The answer is, “consulting the roll of monkey knuckles in front of his grass hut for answer to why his latest offspring is dying of a mysterious fever, just like the last half dozen or so did.”

  53. It’s really amazing how blacks avoid golf. I’ve been on one Bay Area golf course or another just about every day for the last ten years, and I can honestly say that I’ve seen only one black guy actually playing a round, and maybe a half-dozen on the range, in all that time. The one guy on the course was interesting. A former Div-I record holder for all-purpose yardage (one year in the NFL), whose swing was near Barkley-level ugly.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  54. Dunno….maitre’d’ at a high-class fried chicken establishment?

    A more pertintent question might be – would Nike still be around if Woods never existed?

    On course, with the cap, gear and veneer smile, he still looks the part – close up, sans cap, he looks like shit.

  55. Precious says:
    @Steve from Detroit

    If, somehow, I were ever in a situation where I was out to eat with a dozen Navy Seals, I would feel compelled to pick up the check out of simple manners and/or gratitude, and my annual salary is a small percentage of what Tiger earns in interest each year.

    That is interesting but why? Are Navy Seals not paid well enough? Is there some etiquette when it comes to dining with military personnel that I am not aware of?

    • Replies: @Jim Don Bob
  56. OFF TOPIC

    I can’t stand this horrible non-American, corporate propaganda whore mulatto turd, Trevor Noah, but he nails that fop boy baby boomer Jeff Flake pretty good with this one!

    Baby boomer Jeff Flake is Tweeting a lot and talking a lot, but he’s not saying anything.

    Jeff Flake pushes open borders mass immigration and amnesty for illegal alien invaders.

    Probably not Trevor Noah’s bit, but a writer who works for him.

  57. I like English soccer player, Peter Crouch’s, answer when asked “What would you be if you weren’t a footballer?” . He replied, ” A virgin.”

    This is his missus, btw

    • Replies: @Truth
    , @SteveRogers42
  58. @Jack D

    That’s not the point. The (racist, old-fashioned definition) claim was that Tiger couldn’t hack it mentally. DeChambeau is the new Tour nerd, Tiger was the old one. That’s why they’re buds.

    If they were working for the same consulting firm they’d be buds too, for the same reason.

  59. @ThreeCranes

    Well, they named a drink after Arnold Palmer. When they name as popular a one after Tiger Woods, then he’ll know that he’s made it as an American golfing icon

    A candy bar was named after Reggie Jackson. A reporter asked a serious Orioles fan whether Baltimore would ever do the same for Brooks Robinson. The man replied that in Baltimore, people name their sons for him.

  60. tyrone says:
    @Charles Pewitt

    When ragnarok starts make sure you’re on the front lines.

  61. Svigor says:


    Trying to remember if I’ve ever seen anything that Nordic on (((TV))).

    That wasn’t being presented as bad, I mean.

    I remember a pic of forest firefighters out west looking like that, but they weren’t on (((TV))), either.

  62. Svigor says:
    @Desiderius

    Funny, I was thinking that maybe Tiger couldn’t hack elite soldiering mentally, hence no BUDS.

  63. @Precious

    Most Seals are enlisted men, who are not paid as well as officers. Tiger is known for being a cheap bastard, and was evidently so to people who took him in and treated his fantasies kindly.

    • Replies: @mikeInThe716
  64. anonguy says:

    Ok guys, I’m going to explain why anonguy is, once again, the most prescient commenter here before I disappear again for a while.

    My initial comment was Kav, the true blue GOPe candidate, was running into trouble from the flying monkeys, and the GOPe was being routed in their usual fashion, they don’t even retreat, never even enter the fray in the first place, like that cop standing safely outside the Parkland HS, declining even to engage.

    So Trump, while not planning it this way, sees the opportunity as a final Flight 93 event for GOPe, in that, if you can’t get this guy confirmed, you guys are totally weak and on indisputable public display.

    Gives the show a little prod, says it would be a disgrace for a fine candidate, but generally stays disengaged.

    And the GOPe dithers, Kav bombs the interview, casts himself as a weepy and creepy 40yo virgin, only throwing gas on the fire. I kind of thought that was unrecoverable without a miracle.

    But we got one because, finally and uncharacteristically, one of the GOPe has stood up, called BS on the whole deal, and just by this, rallied the troops, the tide is turning, looks like Kav is going to make it, at least to a full floor vote.

    With no help from Trump, who basically was signalling the GOPe that he just makes it look easy surviving these kinds of allegations, you guys show me how easy it is, big powerful GOPe.

    So I was right that this was a gut test, and looks like R’s might actually rise to the occasion because mandarin crybaby Kav, unlike Clarence, cannot fight for himself, that interview made that clear.

    FWIW, I’d still rather see someone other than Kav, a pure swamp critter, on SCOTUS but I suppose he will do. I think there is considerable risk of him seeking redemption by swerving left rather than this process turning him into Thomas. He’s just not a Thomas or Alito or Scalia.

    None of this was particularly insightful, although I was certainly on the front end of that narrative curve, started seeing this theme elsewhere in a lot places shortly thereafter.

    But go back to my initial comment on this subject, and at the end I added a tangential comment about Lindsay Graham, what’s up with the guy, he’s been showing some fire in his belly lately.

    And guess what, he is the GOPe guy who finally raised the flag of full resistance, rallied the troops.

    Just another bit of anonguy magic in case none of you guys noticed. And bravo to Lindsay Graham. My guess is that the posthumous vindictiveness of McCain was a factor for him, offended his South Carolina sense of grace and refinement, etc.

    • Replies: @Twinkie
  65. @not a hacker

    My experience with getting matched with other golfers in foursomes at public courses is that black guys were pretty consistently represented at a low but hardly negligible percentage. Black women are rare on golf courses, but middle class black men are seen pretty regularly.

  66. @Charles Pewitt

    I will be honest and say that I thoroughly disapprove of that Viking woman race mixing with that Tiger Woods creature.

    Her mistake was coming to Florida to work as a nanny. That place has been diversitarian for three hundred years. Whites were just barely a majority in the mid-19th century.

    That sure wasn’t true of 19h-century Sweden. Note the color of their Tant Jemima.

  67. @Desiderius

    That’s not the point. The (racist, old-fashioned definition) claim was that Tiger couldn’t hack it mentally.

    After the whole scandal with his womanizing broke into the headlines, I’ve tried not to form an opinion of Woods on the basis of his publicity machine.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  68. Regarding another black (former) cultural icon – there is a good piece on how the Bill Cosby prosecutions may well be a stitch up fraud to destroy one of the rare leading conservative black figures. There is also video evidence in various places showing some of these anti-Cosby ‘witnesses’ acting very fake indeed. And we of course are living in an age where a female accuser fears no consequences for just fabricating lies.

    After going through the dodgy nature of the collective Cosby accuser ‘witnesses’, Russ Winter writes:

    What was the motive for the organized deceptive takedown of Bill Cosby? Besides the motive of an unethical monetary extortion of a super wealthy man, estimated to be worth $350 million, he was both a feather ruffler and not politically correct.

    He tended to avoid the powerful alliances needed to function in modern corrupted America. Accordingly, he failed to grease enough greedy palms. For instance, in the 1990s, he attempted to solo bid for NBC Universal so as to create a venue that expressed family values.

    Because of bully pulpit lecturing to black America, telling them to take some personal responsibility … this made him a target of social and pervert justice warriors.

    Cosby trended toward conservative black nationalism. In 2004, he gave what is known as the ‘Pound Cake’ speech to the NAACP. In it, he contrasted the brave black political activism of the 1950s and ’60s with present-day thuggery. He even praised the Nation of Islam: “When you want to clear your neighborhood out, first thing you do is go get the Black Muslims. And your neighborhood is then clear.”

  69. Didn’t know that Arnie was a real ladies man.

  70. Anon[269] • Disclaimer says:

    Bootlicker. Do you patronize all groups you seek to earn an invitation to join, train for, become?

    The SQUEALs have usurped the Marines as the faggiest naval gun club in America. You wouldn’t garner their respect to train with them, not even if you were the mystery meat witnessed teeing off at the LACC North Course 10th last November/December, nor if you were the diminutive player encountered in the dark on the practice putting green last October before sunrise on the aforementioned course, the lone-celebrity guest, and who has played both a Marine Corps sniper and a Navy SEAL, respectively, in movies.

    If you wanted to be a full-fledged equal and respected member of the Funky Bunch then you would act accordingly. If you wanted to be the mark then you would set yourself apart.

    Sincerely,
    X

    P.S. “Friendly fire’s a bitch!” The preceding sentence was spoken to me in the still of the Third Watch, the Cock-crow, by a USMC drill instructor and combat veteran; “swift, silent, deadly.”

    My one-word first sentence was only meant as an alarm, a klaxon. If and when you thank a veteran, think, consider what you may be thanking them for. :-)

    P.P.S. The photo atop the post shared again by Mr. Steve Sailer is a personal favorite, America.

    P.P.P.S. “Gigolo,” Tiger Woods would be a gigolo.

  71. @Buster Keaton’s Stunt Double

    There was a scandal because he was so pathetically bad at it = classic nerd -> unlikely to have trouble handling the mental part of accounting.

  72. @Steve Sailer

    This is my experience as well.

    Overrepresented among spectators at tour events I’ve attended: Asian men with their young daughters. I figure they’re trying to spark interest in golf for golf scholarships, to augment their applications at competitive colleges, and the outside chance at a professional career.

  73. @The Anti-Gnostic

    In case you are playing in a tournament in Dubai and Salafist extremists kidnap you …

  74. @Flip

    Nicklaus had the better career (assuming Tiger doesn’t suddenly win 4 more majors), Woods had the better peak.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  75. Svigor says:

    My initial comment was Kav, the true blue GOPe candidate, was running into trouble from the flying monkeys, and the GOPe was being routed in their usual fashion, they don’t even retreat, never even enter the fray in the first place, like that cop standing safely outside the Parkland HS, declining even to engage.

    So Trump, while not planning it this way, sees the opportunity as a final Flight 93 event for GOPe, in that, if you can’t get this guy confirmed, you guys are totally weak and on indisputable public display.

    Gives the show a little prod, says it would be a disgrace for a fine candidate, but generally stays disengaged.

    So, are you cribbing from the Fash the Nation guys, or are they cribbing from you? I’m guessing it’s the former.

    FWIW, I’d still rather see someone other than Kav, a pure swamp critter, on SCOTUS but I suppose he will do. I think there is considerable risk of him seeking redemption by swerving left rather than this process turning him into Thomas. He’s just not a Thomas or Alito or Scalia.

    I doubt it. He’ll remember this shitlib-fest (with threats against the lives of his wives and daughters, gratis!) for the rest of his life.

    But go back to my initial comment on this subject, and at the end I added a tangential comment about Lindsay Graham, what’s up with the guy, he’s been showing some fire in his belly lately.

    Funny, the TRS crew has been talking this point this week, too.

  76. Screwtape says:

    Community organizer? Commercial real estate broker?

    But i’m with 27 y/o. Assuming le tigre would have still gone to Stanford, he’d be a corporate installation at a household name.

    My experience with tiger types is that they indeed land the coveted corporate brochure jobs with a corner office on the 7 1/2 floor.

    In my former life working at a buldge bracket bank there were always a handful of these lifer black execs that ran pokemon business units or other top-heavy initiatives that never seemed to be subject to any meaningful metrics.

    They were prized (tolerated and tightly compartmentalized) salarymen that ran PR projects like “strategic urban renewal property fund II”.

    They would have virtually no staff. Maybe an analyst or two (who ranked low or looked like them) but rarely an actual deal team as most real transactions were farmed out to other sectors for execution.

    They traveled a lot. Almost never in the office. Were often found at some meeting for no apparent reason until that reason became clear. Often where gov’t or public facing exposure was inevitable.

    In fact, they always had a lot of meetings but almost never booked actual deals. In my meetings with them they always dodged quantitative questions with corporate poopytalk.

    But i also see tigre as possibly being aggressive enough to punch out and do his own thing. One of my analysts was a very gifted black kid with a stanford MBA. They (the corporate overlords) marked him for great things right away. But he was sharp enough to see his future there and left to a boutique shop out of SFO.

    But still, good gig if you can get it. The cloak of diversity is gold when the layoffs come around.

  77. @Steve Sailer

    I wouldn’t bet against that either.

  78. No. I’m pretty sure that if golf didn’t exist, Tiger Woods would be a Certified Public Accountant with a successful practice in Newport Beach. (Think a West Coast version of Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters.)

    This is why before The Downfall, Tiger Woods’ image was plastered all over every airport terminal from coast to coast. He spoke to the Middle Man, the middle manager hustling to presentations across the fruited plain. The clients of Accenture actually did relate to his polished, wealthy, smart, but ultimately reserved “nice guy” demeanor. That eventually all changed, but he was a pretty quiet person at the beginning of his career.

    I can confirm from personal anecdotes that Tiger Woods was a bit of a dork at Stanford (a dork at Stanford, mind you) and he remained pretty reserved for years after going pro.

    Tiger Woods is no Arnold Palmer, but what would a drink called the Tiger Woods consist of?

  79. U-Bahn says:
    @Marty

    Arnold Palmer featured his old tractor in a television commercial shot in Latrobe, PA. Why not include a farm implement dealer, given all those greens, fairways, bunkers and roughs?

    • Replies: @Marty
  80. Truth says:
    @27 year old

    Corporate White Guy is a bad gig?

  81. @The Wild Geese Howard

    The accuser, who claims to having attended a number of house parties where K. was also in attendance and doing kinky stuff, graduated from her H.S. in May 1979, same year that K. was a freshman at his prep school, but he didn’t start until September 1979. Oh, & the house parties were between 1981 & 1983, so she must have been a cougar in training for this to happen. That, or a liar. I opt for liar.

    http://turcopolier.typepad.com/sic_semper_tyrannis/2018/09/the-democrats-bullshit-gang-rape-con-by-publius-tacitus.html

  82. Only the climax of the leftist kulturkampf occurring and you’re on spot with your Tiger Woods alternate history fanfiction.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  83. Truth says:
    @27 year old

    Corporate White Guy seems the far superior gig. They make much more money. Of course they’re probably much more dastardly and underhanded about stealing from the ignorant masses, so I guess they earned it.

    • Replies: @Steve in Greensboro
  84. Truth says:
    @fnn

    A salesman?

    A marketer?

    It seems like you’re still buying.

  85. Truth says:
    @Marty T

    If being a5’11 Central-European accountant who is boring in 6 languages and looks like he jogs every other day after work is “cool”.

  86. J.Ross says: • Website


    Iodine literally makes you smarter and chlorine is a highly toxic poison that has been used by armies as a weapon. The iron is … I guess that’s Thatcher.

  87. Truth says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    Are you making this assertion, or is this snark. It’s hard to tell.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  88. You know for all the talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with the Republicans I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fuck up as thoroughly as the Dems have with “Oh yeah Kav led a rape gang as a 15 year old”.

    The Republicans are united and Lindsay Graham of all people has found his inner sacred band of Thebes and is absolutely livid. He might be lisping furiously but he’s doing it with a bayonet between his teeth.

    Honestly the Lindsay Graham heel face turn is one of the best written surprises of the season.

    • Replies: @Charles Pewitt
  89. Truth says:
    @Svigor

    I agree!

    There really wasn’t any reason to cover their eyes with the black stripe either, there isn’t a Muhammad, Chang-Quai, or Jose alive that could tell any of them apart, or from any random Austin “Bro.”

  90. Truth says:
    @Svigor

    I agree!

    There really wasn’t any reason to cover their eyes with the black stripe either, there isn’t a Muhammad, Chang-Quai, or Jose alive that could tell any of them apart, or from any random Austin “Bro.”

  91. Corvinus says:
    @The Anti-Gnostic

    Assuming that this story is indeed true regarding Tiger refusing to pay the bill for our servicement. It could be accurate, as Tiger has a reputation of being total ass—-, but as far as I know, there is no name or place attached to the story, as well as no confirmation by those who were present.

    But then again, it’s par for the course for you and others to take hearsay and tee it up as something that really happened.

  92. @Truth

    Nah, nah, nah.

    Corporate black guy is a possession prized by corporate America. They greatly help with the EEOC statistics. They are the last fired, for that reason. Downsizing does not affect them. As long as they don’t drool on themselves or harass “de white wimmen” too much, they are guaranteed lifetime employment.

    They are recruited heavily for the diversity and inclusion stats and for that reason they are grossly overpaid. (As a survivor of corporate America, I speak from direct experience.)

    • Replies: @Truth
  93. Twinkie says:
    @anonguy

    He’s just not a Thomas or Alito or Scalia.

    All of those live or lived in Virginia. Kavanaugh is an elite Maryland Republican like Roberts. Those guys learned to grovel to those in power around them early.

    Alito is as nerdy as they come, but is far more principled and has more fire in his belly than the likes of Roberts and Kavanaugh. And he married the right woman

    Oh, how I miss Justice Scalia. That man knew what was right or wrong and didn’t care about popularity. He’d lay a good verbal smack down on indulgent parents who wouldn’t control their children in church. Some people thought poorly of him, because of that, but I found that very refreshing in a very “retro” kind of a way.

  94. @Jack Hanson

    Honestly the Lindsay Graham heel face turn is one of the best written surprises of the season.

    Anyone who praises Lindsey Graham for any reason has lost their marbles.

    I once claimed Graham held up good under questioning at a town hall meeting, but that is faint praise. I also said Graham was right next to a roaring fire in a fireplace and he seemed not to sweat; again, faint praise.

    Lindsey Graham is a shady, sneaky baby boomer rat who pushes open borders mass immigration and amnesty for illegal alien invaders.

  95. @Desiderius

    Right, because no real playa ever got chased out of the house by his babymama with an improvised melee weapon. ;)

  96. “while Tiger is clearly the most talented golfer ever”

    Exceptional claims demand exceptional evidence.

    Jack Nicklaus, for example, has won the most Majors, which would certainly bolster the case for him being the best golfer ever on the PGA circuit.

    • Replies: @The Wild Geese Howard
  97. @Desiderius

    Thomas is a mediocre justice at best, but I very much respect that he almost never asks questions during oral arguments, which is basically a time for the justices to grandstand. I mean, if you haven’t made your argument clear by the point that it hits the Supreme Court, you shouldn’t be there.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  98. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    Jack Nicklaus, for example, has won the most Majors, which would certainly bolster the case for him being the best golfer ever on the PGA circuit.

    This, and I would argue that, in relative terms, Nicklaus faced far superior competition over the course of his pro career than Woods has during his career.

    Put another way – Tiger foes Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els, and Vijay Singh aren’t exactly Arnold Palmer, Gary Player, and Tom Watson.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  99. Pontius says:
    @Brabantian

    Actor Reggie Nalder referred to Cosby as a pig in an interview after having worked with him on the movie “The Devil and Max Devlin”. He did not elaborate, but perhaps he was aware of what Heathcliffe had been up to all these years.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  100. @Pontius

    In about 1971, my parents saw Bill Cosby perform at the Hollywood Bowl, substituting for his ill friend Harry Belafonte, and were distressed by how blue he performed.

  101. @The Wild Geese Howard

    Maybe they were. Competition usually gets tougher over the decades. Nicklaus faced few quality rivals from the British Isles or the European continent. The American team usually won the Ryder Cup easily during Nicklaus’s era.

    • Replies: @Yojimbo/Zatoichi
  102. Dan Hayes says:
    @Brabantian

    Brabantian:

    Joe Sobran once was seated next to Cosby on a long airplane trip. Cosby was unaware of Sobran’s public background. Sobran stated that Cosby came across as a black incipient paleoconservative!

  103. Marty says:
    @Steve from Detroit

    Today on Bay Area radio one of the hosts recalled the time he waited on NBA stars Brad Daugherty and Larry Nance. He said the tab came to about $75, and the til was $2.50.

  104. L Woods says:
    @Brabantian

    Our Precious White Women wouldn’t lie I’m sure.

  105. @Steve Sailer

    Way way wait. We’re not going to do a Ford Frick and start putting asterisks after each of Nicklaus’s Major wins, a la “Well, he really didn’t face any quality competitors that year.” Wait, what?

    18 Majors is still the record, and Jack has the record. He could only play vs. the rivals of his era.

    If Eldrick wants to have the record for most PGA Majors during a career, then he has to win five more.

  106. @Jim Don Bob

    Most Seals are enlisted men, who are not paid as well as officers.

    Not only is the pay not that great, but the enlisted ranks face a much more gruelling operational tempo than officers. Officers have far more options for easy duty after a stint leading a Seal or SF team.

    During the Iraq War era (2003-2008), Blackwater USA (founded by Erik Prince – an ex-Seal) got rich exploiting this market. The business plan was dirt simple: Leverage the (relatively) lousy pay of Operators against the surging security demands from Government contractors rebuilding Iraq. Seal and SF Non-Coms went could go from 50K to 120K by dumping Uncle Sam for Uncle Erik.

    As to the original topic, I’m agnostic about Tiger making it as a Seal or SF (like his dad). I was told any very smart, excellent athlete should be able to complete the training. However, only a few of those can finish because of the mental games. It takes a strange cat to go thru weeks of Hell knowing that they can quit anytime.

    • Agree: Jim Don Bob
    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  107. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    Tiger had plenty of time to beat Nicklaus’s major championship record — he had 14 at age 32. But he hasn’t done it. So, Nicklaus had the best career. But Tiger had the best peak — 1999-2008. Tiger’s peak peak — winning the 2000 US Open at Pebble Beach by 15 and a month later winning the British Open at St. Andrews by 8 on his way to four majors in a row, was ridiculous.

    • Replies: @Yojimbo/Zatoichi
  108. @mikeInThe716

    I believe Tiger’s bad injury involving a broken bone in his leg when he limped to victory over 5 rounds at the 2008 US Open involved his SEAL stuff.

    • Agree: Desiderius
  109. @Truth

    Are you making this assertion, or is this snark. It’s hard to tell.

    Oh, it’s true. The bruthas got it all over us ofay.

  110. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    Way way wait. We’re not going to do a Ford Frick…

    The asterisk was unnecessary. Any fool could see that the longer season would be treated differently in the record books.

    Had Maris waited a year or two to hit his 61, this fact would have already been established. He just chose, inconveniently, the worst year for him– the first with 162 games.

  111. @Brabantian

    there is a good piece on how the Bill Cosby prosecutions may well be a stitch up fraud to destroy one of the rare leading conservative black figures.

    Yet the other Bill C walks free. Talk about white privilege!

  112. @jimmyriddle

    Football been berry, berry good to heem.

  113. J.Ross says: • Website
    @Brabantian

    This makes a lot of sense. There is an assembly line for destroying people who don’t play ball. Apart from aggressive reform in several sectors (needed anyway, but difficult and time consuming), I don’t see how you would fight this.

  114. @Reg Cæsar

    Frick also tried to do the same vs LA Maury Wills in 1962, when his 104 SB’s broke DET Ty Cobb’s 1915 MLB SB record of 96. 1962 was also an even longer season for both LA and SF, as they had a three game playoff to determine the winner of the ’62 NL Pennant.

  115. @Steve Sailer

    Right, Eldrick having a nice decade didn’t translate into the long haul of an amazing career, whereas Jack was consistently good to great for well over a generation. Also, as you have occasionally implied, perhaps Eldrick’s run of titles during his peak may or may not be so clean (e.g. PEDS).

    No one can ever accuse Jack of using PEDS during his career. Or at least its highly unlikely that he did so.

  116. @Reg Cæsar

    Maris also had two additional teams to hit his HR’s vs, WASH and ANA (due to expansion).

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    , @Reg Cæsar
  117. Truth says:
    @Steve in Greensboro

    The lions share of executives in America are white, and they rarely get downsized or fired. If they are they have negotiated a golden parachute.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2018/04/05/highest-paid-ceos-americas-100-largest-companies/488630002/

  118. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    Maris hit 61 homers and only 16 doubles (and 4 triples) in 1961. Basically, 75% of the time he hit the ball hard in the air that year it went out of the park.

    • Replies: @anonymous
  119. @Svigor

    A group of world-class athletes and a golfer.

  120. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    Maris also had two additional teams to hit his HR’s vs, WASH and ANA (due to expansion).

    Neither Maris nor Ruth had to face Yankee pitching. Both played in Griffith Stadium. Maris played in Metropolitan, two Municipals, and Wrigley. Ruth got Shibe and League. The latter’s right-field line was 290′.

    • Replies: @Yojimbo/Zatoichi
  121. Dtbb says:
    @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    A shot here a shot there and Nicklaus could have won 37 najors.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  122. @Jack Hanson

    He’s come back at the turning of the tide.

  123. @Citizen of a Silly Country

    That was Bach’s reputation during his lifetime. Get back to me in fifty years.

  124. @Jack D

    Arnie was an octogenarian still getting paid to put his name on stuff.

  125. @Dtbb

    My theory is Nicklaus tended to outsmart himself by playing cautiously for 3 rounds and then going for broke and putting on a charge on Sunday that often came up just short. If he’d hit driver all 4 rounds, he would have won even more majors because he was the best driver in the world.

    Woods would just bury the field by Saturday and coast home on Sunday. Tiger almost never made a mental mistake in his prime.

    • Agree: Desiderius
    • Replies: @Yojimbo/Zatoichi
  126. @Reg Cæsar

    Ruth, UNLIKE Roger Maris, was not a dead pull hitter. Maris had a much shorter, compact swing than Babe Ruth. Many of Maris’s HR’s were at the foul pole, short porch 296′ at Yankee Stadium.

    Ruth, on the other hand, tended to hit toward the power alleys (which most power hitters tend to do). Yankee Stadium’s RF power alley was 425′. Straightaway RF was 350′. LF’s “Death Valley” power alley was 460′ and Straightaway 395′.

    Point is: Yankee Stadium was a pitcher’s ballpark, not a hitter’s ballpark. Whitey Ford is in the HOF due to his talent, and the fact that no cheap HRs were gonna come from short power alleys.

    By contrast, Roger Maris was fairly unique in being able to hit the ball almost at the foul pole. When people hear about Yankee Stadium’s short porch of 296′, they overlook the fact that the park (as with many ballparks of the classic MLB era) tended to have farther away power alleys than parks do today.

    Another example: The Polo Grounds had short foul poles, but their power alleys were not. Right Center power alley was 449′ & Left Center power alley was 450′. Most sluggers hit their HRs in the power alleys, and not right at the foul poles. In point of fact, the sluggers who had a better chance of benefitting from short porches would be those hitters who could hit the ball the other way, say, NY’s Bill “Moose” Skowron, a right handed hitter who could hit to the opposite field. That sort of thing. Derek Jeter liked to hit the ball to RF as well.

    Maris didn’t play in Wrigley until he signed with STL, although Ruth did play in Wrigley in ’32 WS. And hit a famous (or infamous) HR there.

    League Park’s Right Center (the power alley, where most of Ruth’s HR’s would’ve landed), was 340′, roughly the same as most power alley’s of MLB parks today.

    So Maris got to face two additional MLB teams, which didn’t exist in Ruth’s day. Could also make a case that the two teams should’ve been in Triple AAA as the quality of MLB was being diluted with additional teams.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  127. @Steve Sailer

    Of course, it’s hard to make a mental mistake when the main competition is Mickelson and Veejay Singh. Eldrick could have an off day mentally, due to a late night crash session of playing video games and watching DVDs of the third season of the Simpsons, and still have outsmarted either PGA player without any difficulty.

    It remains to be seen if he can do the same at age 42 vs Jordan Spieth, and the crop of new under thirty PGA players (it would appear as though this new generation is much more talented than the one Eldrick had to face ca.1997-2008). So far, it doesn’t appear as if his mental capacities are threatening Spieth, Day, Bubba, etc. very much.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  128. anonymous[244] • Disclaimer says:
    @Steve Sailer

    Steve writes

    Basically, 75% of the time he hit the ball hard in the air that year it went out of the park.

    or it was an out

  129. Marty says:
    @U-Bahn

    Farm Implements, Lucas Glover? Anyway, I think the homicide detectives would be Julius Boros and Charlie Sifford.

  130. @Desiderius

    However, Eldrick will be 43 next yr during the PGA’s Majors season. Tick. Tick. Tick.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  131. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    He’s eminently capable of winning one more major. But 4 more is an awful lot at his age.

    • Replies: @Yojimbo/Zatoichi
  132. @Yojimbo/Zatoichi

    Maris didn’t play in Wrigley until he signed with STL…

    Not true. The Yankees played nine games at Wrigley Field in 1961, losing six of them.

    • Replies: @Yojimbo/Zatoichi
  133. @Steve Sailer

    Uh, he needs to win five Majors to possess the record. Seriously, it does appear that some of Eldrick’s biggest boosters over the last twenty years are backing off of their “He’s so invincible, the greatest ever to play golf, he can’t possibly do anything wrong on the course, etc.” After all, the first part of his career was such an amazing one, and full of promise. There were experts predicting that Eldrick would easily, EASILY, win about 22, even 25 Majors by the time he hit 40. Winning 25 Majors does sound like a lot over a single career. Talk about projecting the hopes of the first person of color to hold all the major records of a traditional white sport.

    This is very disrespectful to Jack. But he’s just a lowly white male, so he doesn’t really count.
    I mean, the last Major he won the Internet didn’t exist, smartphones weren’t yet a thing, and forget about social media. I mean, 1986? That’s so ancient. Who remembers that anymore?

    But Jack still has the record. He probably would like nothing better than to see Eldrick fail to break it.
    Much as Don Shula’s 1972 MIA Dolphins break out the Champagne at the end of every NFL season when no one goes undefeated.

  134. @Reg Cæsar

    The Right Center power alley was 345′, while RF was 339′.

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