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Well, that’s one way of phrasing what happened …

I’ve been noticing a general trend in The Establishment press to write facts as tediously as possible.

By July 20, 2029, the AP tweet will read:

60 years ago at Chappaquiddick, events transpired.

Ziel adds:

Who knew self-driving cars existed 50 years ago?

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  1. July 20, 2029,
    Some guy did something…


    • Replies: @Cloudbuster
  2. SFG says:

    Dude has the best timing in the world…who could count on someone landing on the moon the same day?

    • LOL: Laurence Whelk
  3. Kronos says:

    I thought they already sacrificed Ted Kennedy’s memory for the sake of #MeToo. The guy’s been dead for a couple years now, so what’s the point? You can (potentially) still squeeze some political goodies out of the Clintons, their political network, money, etc. But dead men can’t vote (mostly.) Eventually, even JFK will be demonized as a sex fiend. Ted Kennedy was also the central architect for Obamacare, so the Democrats aren’t going to want to bring up that turd in the punch bowl.

    Steve, do you sense a civil war brewing between reporters and editors from legacy media?

  4. Anonymous[337] • Disclaimer says:

    This is below @isteve level issue..

    Maybe it was havin fun watchin the open ?

    Whatever it is that works, everyones a critic.

  5. some time later, Kennedy’s car went off a bridge into the water

    The car is the only thing imbued with real agency in this synopsis, Teddy must have had a prototype of the Disney “Cars”.

    • Replies: @Known Fact
  6. I think Rep. Omar came close to the ultimate form for expressing boring and stupid historical facts with her ‘some people did something’, but she’s not quite there yet. Better put it in the passive voice to be sure, i.e. ‘something was done by some people’.

    Truth be told, we’re heading toward the point at which unpleasant anniversaries like Teddy’s simply won’t be mentioned at all, and if no one’s ever heard about it, well, then it never happened, did it?

  7. anon[145] • Disclaimer says:

    Mary Jo didn’t drown. She suffocated 3-4 hours after the accident once the oxygen in the air pocket in the car was depleted.

    Surely one of the most damning indictments of the Democrat-Media Complex is that Kennedy skated on this.

    • Agree: Kronos
  8. Ibound1 says:

    In the future the AP will say, “despite his best efforts, Kennedy could not save his passenger”.

    When Bill Gates decided to make fun of Trump at a company meeting by bringing up a conversation he had with him about vaccines and autism, most of the Press was careful to excise the part where Trump said Robert Kennedy Jr had raised the matter to him.

    • Replies: @njguy73
  9. Clyde says:

    Here is my mollification against all >>> as it looks like nitwit browns/blacks takeover is what the US is heading into. >>>>> 1965 by the way>>>>

  10. Cortes says:

    Dr Talc, the greatest creation of John Kennedy Toole’s “A Confederacy of Dunces” would agree.

    Talc, a history tutor at Baton Rouge in the early 1960s, seeking to get into the pants of a lovely student, confesses that in his view the Ancient Britons “made so many stupid mistakes”…

  11. @anon

    “Mary Jo didn’t drown. She suffocated 3-4 hours after the accident once the oxygen in the air pocket in the car was depleted.”

    That’s horrific!

    • Replies: @TomSchmidt
  12. Clyde says:
    @The Last Real Calvinist

    I think Rep. Omar came close to the ultimate form for expressing boring and stupid historical facts with her ‘some people did something’,

    She is an Afro derived imbecile. Her crafty staff put papers in front of her to read. Get real here she has three children at home to take care of. She just reads shit from her lefty commie staffers same as Alexandria Ocasio Cortes

    • Replies: @BengaliCanadianDude
    , @gp
  13. JimDandy says:

    Yeah. Also, why the lack of MSM interest in the recent mass murder in Japan?

  14. Jake says:

    Any ‘Complex’ that did this was bipartisan in the sense that it was, and is, above party politics. It is the Deep State, and its hands were all over the assassinations of Jack and Bobby Kennedy before Teddy was saved.

    Teddy spent the rest of his life doing exactly what the Deep State would have him do.

    • Agree: Kratoklastes, Gordo
    • Replies: @Alden
  15. Sean says:

    The Kennedys were comical rather than tragic.

    • Replies: @Art Deco
  16. guest says:

    The morning of November 22nd, 1963 Lee Oswald clocked into work at a book depository. A short while later, the president’s head exploded.

    This day in history.

    • Replies: @Ozymandias
  17. guest says:

    Teddy pled out to leaving the scene, with a two month suspended sentence. Which is at least more than we can say of Jussie Smollett, who wasn’t even a senator.

    But yes, he basically skated. There was no popular backlash so as to cost him an election, though the history books pretend he was punished by never getting to be president.

    Several decades of hearing his fat Irish head blow hard from the bowels of the capitol was bad enough, I says.

  18. Sean says:

    The Future of the City Is Childless
    America’s urban rebirth is missing something key—actual births.

    JUL 18, 2019

    With its rich blue cities and red rural plains, the U.S. has an economy biased toward high-density areas but an electoral system biased toward low-density areas. The discrepancy has the trappings of a constitutional crisis. The richest cities have become magnets for redundant masses of young rich liberals, making them electorally impotent. Hillary Clinton won Brooklyn by 461,000 votes, about seven times the margin by which she lost Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin combined.

    • Replies: @Ancient Briton
  19. Cortes says:

    Fat Irish head is wrong.

    In Irish Kennedy = “Ugly Head” which in Ted’s case is appropriate. A horrible creature.

    • Agree: Kylie
  20. @The Last Real Calvinist

    The passive voice–indeed. That’s what politicians and the elite of Latin America have been using since the invention of the Roman calendar. Just another symptom of the toilet vortex tightening up in Amurika.

  21. I saw Chappaquiddick a few moths ago, and the thing that struck me about it was what I believe to be the preposterous premise that was established in the movie regarding the events leading up to the crash.

    IIRC both were sober and Kennedy just happened to be tired and miss a turn or something. Kopechne was made out to be an choir girl with impeccable moral standards. The is the movie’s version.

    I think a much more realistic version of events were that Teddy was fall down drunk and Kopechne was blowing him when the car veered off the bridge. But then again, I’m a cynic.

  22. @guest

    Let’s give credit where credit is due, though. On this coming August 25, Ted Kennedy will have been clean and sober for ten years.

  23. @Harald Balzac

    Some guy did something…

    The history books of the future are going to be a lot easier for the kids to carry around!

  24. njguy73 says:

    In the future the AP will say, “despite his best efforts, Kennedy could not save his passenger”.

    No, it will say what the Irish Times said the next morning:

    God Saves Senator Kennedy As Catholic Girl Drowns
    Pair Believed To Be En Route To Midnight Mass
    Senator Prays For Nine Hours Before Calling Police
    Appears To Be Caused By Faulty Bridge Built By Italians

    • LOL: Corn
  25. @The Last Real Calvinist

    Better put it in the passive voice to be sure, i.e. ‘something was done by some people’.

    There were people. Things happened.

  26. @JimDandy

    Their white IT guys might get ideas.

    • Agree: JimDandy
  27. Kronos says:

    Should there be a law banning handjobs/blowjobs in moving motor vehicles? It creates many of the same problems as driving under the influence.

  28. trelane says:

    So the car wasn’t being driven by a drunken senator who left the scene of a fatal accident which is a felony in all 50 states.

  29. Daniel H says:

    Here is how the Establishment really thought about it then, and now. But back in that crazy summer of ’69, when craziness was coming fast and furious from every angle, the meat and potatoes NY Daily News couldn’t help itself and got right to the point. Just a blonde. Just a blonde. Nothing to see here folks.

    • LOL: trelane
    • Replies: @Chap Aquitted
  30. @Clyde

    Yes sure, nobody is detracting from her flaws, but she should really go full frontal and be more open about the “all about the Benjamins” part

  31. @guest

    “A short while later, the president’s head exploded.”

    Gunfire erupted.

  32. @Sean

    Way to go EC! Pure genius – contains the contagion.

  33. @Kronos

    On the long, flat stretches of midwestern highways, they help while away the tedium.

    • LOL: Kronos
    • Replies: @anonymous
  34. @guest

    The mind-blowing part to me is that he could go home and sleep it off, rather than report the accident. Heck, rather than just about anything. Mary Jo was preggers, I presume?

  35. Anonymous[214] • Disclaimer says:

    Too bad the magic progressivism of Shape of Water didn’t work in this case.

  36. @Daniel H

    Here is how the Establishment really thought about it then, and now.

    USS Liberty coverage was even funnier. And Gulf of Tonkin.

  37. @MikeatMikedotMike

    I read The World According to Garp, and made sure never to see the movie.

    Or maybe I did, and memory-blocked that scene. Somehow I do remember John Lithgow pulling a Caitlyn.

  38. guest says:

    They certainly rushed the burial to preclude any inspection of her body.

    Did they test blood for drunkenness back then? If not, I guess Teddy’s rationale for swimming back to his hotel and getting 40 winks before sauntering over to the police station was that he hadn’t yet decided whether he was going to flat out lie or merely half-lie.

  39. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:

    There was no autopsy, so we don’t know.

  40. Anonymous[388] • Disclaimer says:

    The mind-blowing part to me is that he could go home and sleep it off, rather than report the accident. Heck, rather than just about anything. Mary Jo was preggers, I presume?

    Mary Jo: “Ted, I’m afraid I’m pregnant? What will we do?”

    Ted: “Well, we’ll just have to drive off that bridge when we get to it.”

  41. gp says:

    “She just reads shit from her lefty commie staffers same as Alexandria Ocasio Cortes”

    That’s exactly the way I read the situation. The both of them will repeat everything handed to them by the uber-wackos, without giving any of it a minute of reflection. Any fair economics major, which AOC supposedly is, would immediately recognize the Green New Deal as drooling hippie drivel. But either she learned literally nothing in school, or she doesn’t give a fig about looking like a fool. She and Omar would probably be much more effective legislators if they simply dumped their advisers and put some adults in charge.

    That said, even if they don’t change a thing, I won’t be a bit surprised when they win re-election in 2020. Our electorate is as stupid as they are, thanks to our awful schools and enemy media.

    • Replies: @Twodees Partain
    , @Art Deco
  42. Teddy felt so bad about it that he stayed drunk for the rest of his life. Or something like that.

  43. @gp

    ” Our electorate is as stupid as they are, thanks to our awful schools and enemy media.”

    Is that it? I always thought that the same assholes get elected because the American electorate isn’t actually involved in elections. It ain’t as though the votes really get counted and the one with the most votes wins.

  44. “I’ve already got the perfect headline: ‘Activity participated in by some’”
    The Simpsons, “The Bart of War”

  45. The AP should hire Ilhan Omar: ‘Some people drowned at Chappaquiddick’.

  46. As is often the case, the best reply came from iowahawkblog:

    • Replies: @El Dato
  47. El Dato says:

    As AOC said, “we gonna need a 9/11-style commission to look into this!”

    (Not realizing what the 9/11-style omission commission really is … )

  48. I’m surprised it has taken 50 years for someone to think of a clever way to rehabilitate the Lion of the Senate. A recently found letter suggests Kennedy and another paramour were sneaking away in the car and did not know Mary Jo was sleeping off too much alcohol in the back seat when the car went off the bridge. Kennedy only learned later that Kopechne was in the car.

    Betty said that she helped Kopechne lie down to rest in the back seat of Ted Kennedy’s car, and then returned to the cottage where she too fell asleep.

    The letter said that some time later, Kennedy and another of the Boiler Room Girls went for a drive in the car, unaware that Kopechne was in the back seat.

    When the car went over the bridge, Kennedy and his female passenger walked back to the cottage, about a mile away, still unaware that Kopechne was in the car, according to Betty.

    Betty claimed that nobody realized Kopechne was missing until she woke up the next morning, heard about the crash, and told the other party guests that Kopechne had been asleep in the car.

    Then, she said, ‘the Kennedy damage control machine kicked in and informed the shocked senator,’ according to the letter.

    At the inquest, a rescue diver testified that he believed Kopechne survived the crash and was alive for several hours inside the submerged car, due to the position of her body with her face pressed into a small air pocket.

    • Replies: @dearieme
    , @Art Deco
  49. LondonBob says:

    Ted certainly was the runt of the litter, still impressed he died of natural causes though.

    • Replies: @Art Deco
  50. dearieme says:
    @The Alarmist

    What a wonderful excuse. How about the more hard-headed version that he raped and murdered her, all the rest being a cover-up tale?

  51. @Kronos

    My recollection is that Obamacare was stalled for months in the Senate, because your “architect” wouldn’t show up to vote for it, and Democrats lacked the numbers in his absence.

  52. tyrone says:

    Glioblastoma has done America two big favors.

  53. Thea says:

    It’s as if they phrased it this way, omitting the most important details, to trigger a certain response. Boy did they get it in the replies.

    Nice troll work AP!

    Is it true she had no panties?

    • Replies: @anonymous
  54. Thea says:

    What the heck is wrong with the voters in Massachusetts that they elected him for life? Plenty of other liberal Irishmen who would have done what he did in the Senate.

    I once knew a liberal woman from Mass and she would get really defensive about poor Teddy if anyone brought this incident up. How was he the victim? No idea.

    • Replies: @Corn
  55. @Kronos

    It would be interesting to conduct a survey of young people’s knowledge of the Kennedy clan. My guess is that t he youth know little and the knowledge is not distributed evenly–ie, the new black, brown, red, and yellow youth know and care considerably less about the 20th century Democrat party and its myths. The results would be something to tell Boomers on their death beds.

  56. Art Deco says:

    I’m not seeing the comedy in Mary Jo Kopechne suffocating in EMK’s overturned car. Or in the life of the institutionalized Rosemary Kennedy, ruined courtesy the quack lobotomy promoter, Walter Freeman (hired by her father). Or in the life of the sad alcoholic ruin that is Joan Kennedy. Or in the life of that young woman Joe Kennedy II put in a wheelchair (who settled out of court for a regrettably small sum, which was then consumed by nursing and rehabilitation expenses). Or in David Kennedy’s dead heroin-steeped corpse. I’m not feeling the yuks from Michael Kennedy seducing the 14 year old daughter of a compliant Democratic Party sachem (and what’s even less amusing is that Kennedy family retainers have managed to erase any mention of it on his Wikipedia page). If you like sick jokes, I suppose it is sort of amusing amusing that he got himself killed Porky’s style, running into a tree on a ski slope.

    • Agree: YetAnotherAnon, Alden
    • Replies: @Sean
    , @Thea
  57. Sparkon says:

    The MSM in the United States adheres to the Establishment line about the assassinations of JFK and RFK, against all the evidence, so there is entirely no chance that the MSM version of Chappaquiddick is false?

  58. Art Deco says:

    Again, she was an IR major, with an economics ‘minor’. IR programs commonly require you take a sequence of economics courses (perhaps international trade and international monetary economics and any prerequisites you need to take to register in these two). She just added a course or two and was permitted to declare a minor.

    • Replies: @gp
  59. Art Deco says:

    Given his dimensions, he was no runt. He was the Fredo of the family. What’s interesting is Richard Nixon’s observation that EMK was much better suited than his brothers to the daily fare of a professional politician. Per Nixon, EMK loved working a room; his brothers did not.

  60. Art Deco says:

    Don’t think so. IIRC, she was only lightly associated with EMK. She’d been on Bobby’s staff. When he finally reported the accident, he couldn’t begin to spell her family name, listing her just as ‘Mary Jo’.

  61. Jack D says:

    My family owned the same model Olds Delmont 88 as Ted (BTW, this shows that America used to be a much more egalitarian country). If that thing had been capable of holding air for 4 hours it would have been a miracle. American cars in those days pre-crash test days were built to rather loose tolerances.

    • Replies: @anonymous
  62. @Harry Baldwin

    Clean, not so much. I hate to get technical on you but if you could touch his decaying body right now, you wouldn’t consider you hand to be “clean” enough to eat with.

  63. anonymous[425] • Disclaimer says:

    I think they were trying to present a version of events which would be somewhat honest (remember, in the movie Ted ‘n Mary Jo were “going to the beach” and took a wrong turn…Gentlemen, why do we go to the beach at night with a lady friend?) and yet avoid controversy, threats of legal action,and political attacks, which could have threatened the film’s financing. That is the real Achilles heel for a movie project, by the way.

    They did present the important events for which there is reliable evidence; e.g., the party at the house with 5 married men (plus 1 single) and 6 single women, was always intended to be a Nookie Circus; Kennedy panicked when he saw the local cop and chirped his tires in his hurry to get away; he left his passenger to die from suffocation and did not report the accident; he did not have a driver’s license, etc.

    Although it is almost certain that Ted was blown-out-of-his-socks drunk, and it is possible that Mary Jo was pregnant, the cover-up was successful in preventing any proof from coming to light. There are many reasons why Ted would not want Mary Jo to be autopsied, pregnancy is just the most speculative.

    I am just thankful that the movie was made at all. Ten years ago, this would have been impossible.

    • Replies: @MikeatMikedotMike
  64. @JimDandy

    No gun control angle, no angry white guy angle.

  65. unit472 says:

    I used to sing a parody of the Ballad of PT 109. Went something like this.

    The drunken Senator he couldn’t save her
    but what was worse he didn’t even try
    And as he staggered to the shoreline
    He left that girl alone to die

    Rum and coke upon the bay
    gotta find a place to hide away
    Ran to the ferry but it had gone
    so I swan across the channel a half a mile long.

  66. gp says:
    @Art Deco

    I stand corrected, so I’ll move the goalposts! ANY college grad, regardless of major, ought to recognize the Green New Deal as a bong-induced, incoherent fantasy flight with no coherent goal, and no feasible way of achieving it. But I’m older than water, so I guess I’m thinking of the kind of colleges and graduates we had before 1965.

  67. gp says:

    By the way, see the recent DVD “Chappaquiddick,” if you haven’t already. It pulls punches, but there’s still enough there to show what a sh!t Ted was. Jason Clarke does a very good job of aping the goofy toothy rape-grin that all the Kennedy boys have. I am quite surprised that Hollywood could find enough actors willing to depict a Kennedy as less than holy.

    While slamming Ted, let’s not overlook the depravity of Ted’s co-conspirators in the coverup: Gargan and Markham. They were despicable!

    In fact, I’m going to rewatch the movie right now.

  68. anonymous[425] • Disclaimer says:
    @Harry Baldwin

    Don’t hit the brakes, though, or there could be an inadvertent Lorena Bobbitt.

  69. anonymous[425] • Disclaimer says:

    Ted’s (relative) inaction to me indicates that he felt assured, rationally or not, that his lawyer & friends were going to take the fall for him (he did make a feeble attempt to establish an alibi at his hotel by asking for the time). Either that, or he was in a state of complete mental collapse.

    A man of weak morality and dim intellect.
    We really dodged a bullet when he was not elected Prez.

  70. anonymous[425] • Disclaimer says:
    @Jack D

    No car I have ever worked on “holds air” for 4 hours…Mary Jo had her face pressed into a small air pocket at the floor of the car.

    The floor of any car is (and was back then) fairly well sealed w/welds and caulking to prevent road water (e.g. in a rainstorm) from entering the passenger compartment and trunk.

    The real mystery is how that miserable creature Kennedy managed to get out of the car with the windows inoperable (I assume the Olds was equipped w/ electric windows) and the doors jammed from the impact to the roof. Clearly, he did, but why did his escape door close again? The Olds appears to have been positioned sideways to the current. Maybe the current strong enough to flip the door shut. We’ll never know..

  71. Sean says:
    @Art Deco

    Aristotle (not the one who was staying at the White House and banging JFK’s window before the man was interred) said comedy is when we portray someone as being far worse than they actually are, tragedy is when showing them as better. I think the comedic possibilities of the Kennedys have been chronically underexploited.

    Apart from Ted’s 1964 plane crash that killed everyone else on board, you forgot a few,_Marchioness_of_Hartington#Death.

    To lose one first degree relative in air travel may be regarded as a tragedy; to lose three looks like carelessness.

    • Agree: Thea
    • Replies: @Alden
  72. Phrasing reminds me of the Foot Massage scene from Pulp Fiction: “Yet another way to say it would be, he killed her driving off the bridge bc he was drunk.”

  73. Alden says:

    With all the drunken weekend sailors and drivers in the area there were plenty of skilled experienced rescue services around. The Netflix movie was great in showing how the Kennedy machine rallied around Ted. And the local authorities just caved in.

  74. Alden says:

    Or drunkenness.

    The reason why Kathleen Kennedy, friend and pilot were killed is that they stopped at Le Bourget airport to refuel around noon. She and her friend insisted on going off to Paris for a long liquid lunch. The weather kept getting worse and worse. When they finally got back the pilot advised not taking off because of the weather. They insisted and died because of refusal to take the advice of the pilot.

    • Replies: @Sean
  75. Alden says:

    Probably true. Or he was drunk as he was every day. Or both. Didn’t he and his wife go to the funeral?

  76. Alden says:

    By the time he ran for President Bobby was as anti White as Elijah Cummings Al Sharpton and Justice Brennan. From working with Roy Cohn and Senator McCarthy to matching with Cesar Chavez in 10 years. Another New Yawk carpetbagger come to destroy the Golden State.

    Liberals just can’t stand a well paid crime and problem free healthy society. They just have to ruin it.

    Isn’t there some philosophy principle
    Create a problem Create a solution which creates another problem?

  77. Sean says:

    In 1962, at the Carlyle Hotel in New York, a man “peeled off his clothing and began prancing around his hotel suite.” His bodyguards were cautiously amused, until the man “left the suite and began roaming through the corridor of the Carlyle.”

    The man in question was delusional, paranoid and suffering a “psychotic break” from the effects of an overdose of methamphetamine.

    He was also the president of the United States.

  78. @anonymous

    That’s a fair assessment. And I never heard the pregnancy theory before. It makes sense.

  79. anonymous[354] • Disclaimer says:

    I do not know of any reliable authority than Mary Jo was going commando that night. The Kennedy squid ink machine pretty much handled most of that stuff.

  80. Thea says:
    @Art Deco

    Gallows humor gets me through this life.

  81. Corn says:

    Often wondered that myself.

  82. TWS says:

    This was the best the Democrats have produced in decades. What does it say about our current crop that they don’t even measure up to old Teddy.

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