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From the New York Times:

Elisabeth Kimmel, the owner of a media company, used Mr. Singer’s services twice, first for her daughter in 2012 and then for her son in 2017, according to the documents. Her daughter attended Georgetown as a purported tennis recruit, and her son was accepted to the University of Southern California as a track-and-field pole-vaulter.

USC traditionally has a strong track & field team. The Trojan women won the NCAA last year and the Trojan men came in 4th, so it’s surprising that anybody could get away with this for long.

And a fake pole-vaulter? I could imagine faking being a tennis player, but a fake pole-vaulter? What if they corner you and you feel you have to try it?

But he was caught off guard during orientation.

This could be a scene in an update of Rodney Dangerfield’s “Back to School” in which he gets his poor kid into college as a phony pole-vaulter and then the uncoordinated kid has to go out on the track and practically impale himself on the pole trying to clear his usual 17 feet:

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  1. I imagine that those kids are considering suicide or parricide by now.

    • Replies: @Lagertha
    , @Jack D
    , @RobRich
  2. Hilarious. At this rate USA will have to go either the French way, where everybody is accepted pretty much anywhere they want to go but at good schools ~50% of freshmen do not survive the first year, or the Soviet way, where the entrance exams were administered on site at your school of choice to prevent cheating.

    • Replies: @El Dato
    , @Anon
    , @DFH
  3. My girlfriend dog ate my pole? Hey, it might just work.

    • LOL: Abe
    • Replies: @MBlanc46
  4. If Lori Laughlin was still living in her hometown of Hauppague L0ng Island, her two daughters could have applied to China-annexed-SUNY STONY BROOK…….of course, they never would have been accepted….Have the Chinese annexed MONTANNA yet?

    Question: How long would the Han People in China tolerate having only one of China’s elite engineering schools being taken over by Hindu Legal Immigrants?….I reckon that it would over in a week….very brutal and very nasty…..

    If I am not mistaken…Punk Rocker Billy Idle spent the first 7 years of his life in Hauppague LI…..Hauppague is the Silicon Valley of NYS…..

    • Replies: @JimDandy
    , @1661er
  5. …but a fake pole-vaulter? What if they corner you and you feel you have to try it?

    Just say you were confused, and thought they meant tossing the caber.

  6. MBlanc46 says:
    @Achmed E. Newman

    I see what you did there. Pole. Heh, heh.

  7. JimDandy says:

    Seems more like a red herring than real news. The rich use money to get their spawn into Ivy League schools? What, we should live in a perfect world where only connected Jews can use influence and networking to get their kids into nice universities? Oy!

    Viva Carmela.

    • Replies: @guest
  8. JimDandy says:
    @War for Blair Mountain

    Don’t you talk to Billy Idol that way!

    “Billy Idol was born William Michael Albert Broad in Stanmore, Middlesex on 30 November 1955. In 1958, when Idol was two years old, his parents moved to Patchogue, New York. The family returned to England four years later with Idol and his younger sister, Jane (who had been born in the U.S.),”

  9. WesTex says:

    What a great clip and movie.

    It’s getting to be time to throw out the whole higher ed system anyway. The schools do nothing but print money for themselves (have you checked out these campuses lately?) and saddle kids with ungodly amts of debt. Not only can a young person never afford a two bedroom apt, but they’ll have $150k in student debt to deal with too. What a mess.. I truly feel for these kids.

    I would def miss college football though.

    • Agree: GermanReader2
  10. Tiny Duck says:

    Still don’t believe in white privilege?

    This is concrete evidence of whites using perfidy to get unearned benefits

  11. ‘Keep it fair, keep it fair, will ya?”

    “No, I can’t..”(takes money)

  12. Some people overpay. With due respect to AU grads, American University is like a less-cool version of NYU, a respectable name that’s all of a sudden a ‘good school’ instead of a warehouse for rich-kid screw-ups and JAPs. The stoners at my boarding school went to AU.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  13. 1661er says:
    @War for Blair Mountain

    Actually, Chinese long had a policy of boosting the exam score of its racial minorities for college admissions. It’s 10 times easier for a Tibetan to enter top Chinese universities, than ethnic Han students born to transplant parents in Tibet. Same for Mongolians/Manchurian/Uighur/etc. that sit on areas TPTB want to pacify.

    Had China did better in its war with India, and gain control over area with Hindu population, it will totally offer affirmative actions to Hindu as part of its pacification/assimilation SOP.

    Rank-and-file Han Chinese don’t like this policy. But what they like doesn’t matter. It’s all about the desire of TPTB for Greater China.

  14. @JimDandy

    Yeah that’s it…..Patchogue……now infested with MS-13 raw sewage…..and antifa Tranny Freak raw sewage that works as barristas downtown at the trendy coffee shop(not starbucks)…..sewage that flows into the Great South Bay….no suprise that the weakfish Population has collapsed……I pray for a 100 foot Tsunami…over the top of Fire Island……onto Patchogue!!!…..updated version of “Leaves of Grass”….

  15. Spangel says:

    Between tm Landry, this and the harvard lawsuit on behalf of Asians, it’s clear that higher ed needs massive reform. Half their subjects offer no real knowledge and still cost 50k+ per year. Most students graduate with decades worth of debt before they have any way of paying it off and the cost just keeps going up as fed loans pay whatever price these colleges keep increasing to. Quality of instruction keeps declining as now so many courses are taught by adjuncts while admin gets more and more bloated. Admissions to prestigious universities is halfway a crapshoot and the other half based on handouts or fraud.

    If Americans can demand that prestigious companies hire diverse employees, can they not demand that these same companies recruit from public universities? This would allow the smart kids who don’t get into Harvard the chance to get good jobs at McKinsey and whatnot and without going into massive debt. And can we make a “title something other than iv” to bar federal funding from schools that charge over a certain amount in tuition?

    • Replies: @Trevor H.
  16. Dave Pinsen says: • Website

    Lori Laughlin is a regular star of Hallmark Christmas movies. Kind of disconcerting to see someone in such wholesome entertainment ensnared in this.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
    , @Hibernian
  17. Anon[190] • Disclaimer says:

    I ran middle distance on the track team, and they got a new coach, a young former runner from UCLA, who changed the training, making us run 7 miles on Fridays, and a bunch of 200 yard wind sprints on the other days. It was nauseatingly grueling, so lazy me started to look around for another event I could do the next year. The long jump was the only realistic option. Even doing the high jump is hard and dangerous without good coaching and a spotter, but the pole vault was much worse. I was so frightened that I would end up in an iron lung that I rejected it after only a couple of attempts.

    • Replies: @Pericles
  18. Paul says:

    Asians are great at gaming the system. The women enter California just before they are due to give birth. Later, their offspring can get easier acceptance to the University of California.

    Asians also know how to game the social welfare system. They seem to network on how the system works. If someone wants to get on the dole, my Asian landlady can help.

    • Replies: @Jack D
    , @Trevor H.
  19. @Ghost of Bull Moose

    American University is like a less-cool version of NYU, a respectable name

    Way too generic a name. And now it can be confused with National American University:

    National American University was established in 1941 as a one-year secretarial school by Clarence Jacobson. It was called National College of Business and was located in a downtown Rapid City building.

    American U is in the Ward Circle neighborhood. Artemas Ward University would be the perfect renaming for the school.

    Mascot? Why, the Ward Circle Jerks.

    • Replies: @Lagertha
  20. Lagertha says:

    The duplicity of these marginally educated parents, and their ordinary progeny, with their commercial and superficial needs, is so, sooooo disgusting..and seriously funny with the white privilege and all! I hope they all sink after college, hahaaaa.

    • Replies: @Lagertha
    , @JMcG
  21. No, fake pole vaulter is safer than fake tennis player. A serious tennis player won’t leave home without his rackets (plural, and in a huge bag). But I don’t think it’s common to travel with your pole.

    Fake boxer would be another bad move.

  22. Alfa158 says:
    @Tiny Duck

    I’m ashamed of these kids parents. If they were as smart as we Whites claim to be they should have just pretended they were non-Whites. Then they could have gotten their kids into elite universities for which they were unqualified, and it wouldn’t have cost a dime. It worked for Senator Fauxahontas.

    • Agree: Trevor H.
    • Replies: @Clyde
  23. theMann says:
    @International Jew

    I would have paid money to get a fake boxer in the ring………

    But a unacademically qualified rich bitch kid…..

    • Replies: @guest
  24. Lagertha says:

    I despise these fake, rich families who thought they could (cheat) be more white privileged than others, hahhahaaaa. They are so doomed….just like Edmund. They deserve to be vilified in public and have their privileged white lives destroyed! I want Democrat and liberals’ children destroyed over this! They, their parents, are vile human beings who are destroying everything that has been good for 50 years. Show no mercy to these Turncoats.

  25. Since these kids aren’t “Legacies”, they won’t be protected from washing out – so I don’t see what the problem is: take the money from the parvenu parents, then watch the kid rack up ~250k in debt and leave with a C average having wasted everybody’s time.

    Alternatively, maybe the kid blossoms and graduates summa cum laude (hahahahaha).

    The claim that they will deprive an earnest young kiddie of a spot is tosh (and pish): numbers are not that tightly constrained.

    The parents themselves must be borderline retarded.

    It goes without saying that they are using funds with low marginal utility, but they are also devoting it to a project with a minuscule likelihood of a positive RoI.

    They are kidding themselves if they think that they’re buying entrée into the “Inner Ring” (as C.S. Lewis famously called it): the “right people to know” teach their kids to avoid (and despise) the children of parvenus except when the new-money kid can be economically useful.

    • Replies: @Jack D
  26. El Dato says:

    A cull of 50% for the first two years of introduction to really basic knowledge (like basic differential equations, classical propositional calculus lol and probability and & statistics, things that should have been thrown at you in high school instead of mandatory study of incomprehensible philosophers) concentrates the mind. You lose a couple of friends but after that the population sector often obviously on thin ice is gone and you can start to have proper conversations – as opposed howling with the hobbyists and college wolves lol. And I’m not even particularly brilliant.

    Ok, so, except for the rich guys with enough brains; they have enough brains but those are not their primary concern. Disturbing! Yeah, nice car, but did you solve this problem with the Maxwell thing in it?

    Good times. There were no mobiles, no Internet and no girls though. I wonder how it is today.

    • Replies: @Anon
  27. El Dato says:
    @Tiny Duck

    Putting 700K on the table while finagling something with a smooth fixer sounds like the benefits are earned faire and square.

  28. Lagertha says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    American U was always thought of as $$$ U. They take the dumbest kids of the richest families who could not get into even, a sub-Ivy. Same deal 30 years later. American U also, has the highest tuition – such scam monsters!- you are an idiot if you send your kid here.

    • Replies: @Old Palo Altan
  29. Jack D says:
    @Peripatetic Commenter

    The question is whether they will get expelled?

    • Replies: @Clyde
    , @Johann Ricke
  30. Jack D says:

    And yet there seem to be very Asians on the list of the indicted. Maybe because they are too cheap to pay $500,000 to get their kid into Stanford. Maybe they have cheaper ways of cheating?

    • Replies: @Anon
  31. @Dave Pinsen

    Lori Laughlin is a regular star of Hallmark Christmas movies. Kind of disconcerting to see someone in such wholesome entertainment ensnared in this.

    She couldn’t get her kid an in at Hallmark?

    Then again, what ambitious youngster wants to go to Kansas City? This ain’t 1952.

    • Replies: @Anonymous
  32. Jack D says:

    The problem is that even if you are qualified getting into a top U is a crap-shoot. Top schools have admit rates in the range of 5% nowadays – they reject 19 applications for each one that they take. Let’s say half of those are unqualified – that still leaves 9 qualified applicants for each one that gets in.

    Part of the problem is that the US population has doubled and higher ed is more popular, but the # of seats at top U’s has not increased. What other business turns away 95% of their customers?

    • Agree: PhysicistDave
    • Replies: @Jus' Sayin'...
    , @VinDiesel
  33. Anonym says:

    That is a very hilarious and vicariously painful illustration in the conservation of energy and momentum, Steve. If the pole doesn’t move much at the end, the vaulter ends up moving at about the same speed as he entered the vault. If there is no cushioning, his body provide it as he hits the ground if that velocity is in the downward direction.

    In the instance where the vaulter doesn’t drop very far, the pole ends up flying (maybe in piececs) exceptionally fast due to its small mass or the energy has been consumed in bending the pole.

    The capacity of the pole to convert speed to potential energy (and especially vice versa) is used to great comic effect as well.

  34. Anon[218] • Disclaimer says:

    the French way, where everybody is accepted pretty much anywhere they want to go but at good schools ~50% of freshmen do not survive the first year

    I took a Chinese class with a French guy whose self-introduction included a note that his school wasn’t one of the famous schools. When someone commented “you’re supposed to go to a famous one”, his response was “I tried, they did not want me”.

    I guess he could have meant that he was kicked out, but I suspect admission may be harder to get than you’re describing.

    • Replies: @Jus' Sayin'...
    , @Gordo
  35. Hey td just got out of his stint in county early this time, welcome back you mass of silly, nonsensical posting.

    Now td, you know full well most white people are not Hollywood celebs nor other rich California types. The parents of “Students of color ” don’t have to bribe, the admissions office does the undeserved admissions free of charge, and no “persons of color” lost their spots because of this, in all likelihood poorer whites and Asians did. The AA admits get in with even lower grades and SAT’s than rich whites who are legacies, even at Harvard, whereas the number of blacks at elite institutions ( save maybe Caltech, although that may change soon as well ) are over represented by at least a factor of ten. Have you learned nothing by reading this blog? Maybe you should go back to county.

    • Replies: @Anon
    , @Anon
  36. vinny says:
    @International Jew

    Yeah, if you’re trying to avoid being found out as a fake pole vaulter, it’s pretty rare to run into situations where therell be a whole pole vault set-up.

    But there’s a tennis court in every park and lots of people do it recreationally. Very dangerous for being exposed.

  37. Clyde says:
    @Jack D

    The question is whether they will get expelled?

    Some will leave due to twitter mobbing, like the fake rowing recruit, as the UK Mail called her.

  38. guest says:

    I have told outlandish lies before (in good fun), and often people simply don’t call you on them. Even if they know you’re full of it.

    A good conman can be called out, not know what they’re doing, and still slip by. Like the Catch Me If You Can guy. He shoulda gone to Harvard instead of pretending to be stuff.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  39. What other business turns away 95% of their customers?

    The Blue Box Cafe at Tiffany’s is booked up until April.

    Tiffany is proud to present The Blue Box Cafe, located on
    the 4th floor of our New York flagship store.

    Yes, it is true. You can finally have breakfast at Tiffany’s. However, this will not be your waiter:

  40. guest says:

    It would be one thing for Mrs. Soprano to buy her way in, but implying Larry the Pipe and Icepick Sam will pay a visit isn’t the best thing.

    • Replies: @JimDandy
    , @JimDandy
  41. DFH says:

    Actually getting into a grande école requires going through three rounds of exams. I think you’re thinking of the Italian system.

    • Replies: @FormerRocketMan
  42. guest says:

    Couldn’t a fake boxer just go down, “phantom punch” style?

  43. JMcG says:

    Glad you’re back with us.

    • Agree: Clyde
    • Replies: @Lagertha
  44. @Jack D

    Reading about this scandal reminded me that the family of Jared Kushner – Israel’s current man in the White House – bought his way into Harvard for something like $5,000,000. I wonder why this isn’t being referenced in any of the news items I’ve seen so far.

    • Replies: @Jack D
    , @anonymous
    , @Pericles
  45. Clyde says:

    I’m ashamed of these kids parents. If they were as smart as we Whites claim to be they should have just pretended they were non-Whites.

    How about white parents give their child a name like Miguel or Ernesto to cover the Hispanic affirmative action admissions angle? Look how far Beto O’Rourke is getting. With Beto being a nickname, not even his legit first name.
    Then during high school have your child engage in Hispanic activities such as Hispanic get out the vote drives and pro-immigrant projects Looking great on his college applications.

    • Replies: @1661er
    , @Anon
  46. @Anon

    IIRC, the most prestigious French institutions, e.g., Le Ecole Polytechnique, admit students based on an extraordinarily difficult entrance examination.

  47. 1661er says:

    Clyde, if you already have Clydesdales in your stable, train your children in Charro/Charra and participate in a few Escaramuza. Since it’s popular among certain class of Mexican, it may became a NCAA sport soon with scholarships eventually.

    • Replies: @Anon
  48. Anon[387] • Disclaimer says: • Website

    Pole Vault? Why not for Walking?

    Or for golf?

    Wait a minute? Just how did Sailer get admitted to Rice anyway?

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  49. So, why aren’t there people paying exorbitant sums to get their kids apprenticeships as plumbers?

    The answer is that there is a free market in plumbers, at least out here in Sacramento. You want to be a plumber? Learn how to do it, let potential customers know you are in business, and start making money. (Yes, you need a state license, except for small jobs: from what I hear, not too hard to get the license.)

    But, people believe that the elite colleges are rationing a very valuable good, worth far, far more than what you pay for tuition, etc. And, whenever rationing occurs, people look for some under-the-table method of getting around the rationing.

    The funny thing is that the elite college degrees may be worth a lot less than people think: various studies seem to show this, as do my own personal observations. One of my brothers has a BA from Stanford, the other from Harvard. Neither ever made as much as a good plumber.

    The elite schools seem to benefit largely those students whose families are already part of the elite and who can therefore schmooze with other elite kids at HYPS. Of course, sometimes a mere muggle is allowed to join the elite, if he somehow exudes the right social cachet, but this seems a bit rare. (I’m talking undergrad, not grad school.)

    So, the real victims here may be the stupid parents who shelled out so much money for their stupid kids, when they should have just put the money into a good long-term investment.

    • Replies: @Anon
    , @Trevor H.
    , @Travis
    , @Flip
    , @E e
  50. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    Then again, what ambitious youngster wants to go to Kansas City? This ain’t 1952.

    I ask myself that all the time. Not sure why but as compared to Larned, KS or Decorah, IA, it’s the big time.

  51. @Anon

    My high school chemistry teacher, Mr. Walker, was a walker in the 1976 Olympics in Montreal.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  52. Bill P says:

    A kid at my school fell off the cushion after a pole vault and ended up with pretty serious brain damage. Big difference before and after.

    Doesn’t seem like a good idea to fake pole vaulting. Nor crew. You catch a crab in a college eight and it could be pretty painful.

    • Replies: @MarkinLA
  53. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:
    @El Dato

    STEM workers are workers, not rulers. They may be very important and they created the modern world but they are replaceable parts in the capitalist system

    And White American STEM workers are being replaced by Asian Indian STEM workers. Plus 70 to 90 work weeks for 120K a year, about $33 an hour. Laid off every 3 years.

    Be a mechanic at a dealers $70 an hour 4o hour week paid over time and a decent life

  54. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:

    It’s as hard to get into the plumber and electrician apprentice ship programs that lead to the state license as it is to get into good colleges. And those apprentice programs are really under the gun for affirmative action programs. Best thing is to get on the internet and apply all over the country.

    But if you get in, it’s a great life. Right now electrician is better than plumber because of green lighting and environmental lights to save Mother Earth from something or other.

    All those commercial industrial lights that go on and off by motion detectors dim when it’s sunny brighter at 4 pm.

    It’s a bonanza for everything from copper mines, the Chinese factories that make copper wire fittings and cables architects, engineers contractors big and large and electricians. Plus there are all sorts of special training and certificians required for the engineers and electricians who work in the save Mother Earth with dim lighting projects Maybe only $9 an hour added to the regular wage but that’s $300 a week more
    All the lights and electricity computers etc that run the Golden Gate Bridge was completely re done with environmental electricity a few years ago.

    It was a total bonanza for everybody. 1850 we had the gold rush. 2015 we had the copper wire rush. The entire electrical industry of N California made money

    My personal opinion is that the green save the earth electricity is a big plot by the electrical industry to make money for themselves at everyone else expense.

  55. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:

    Stanford has some kind of horse riding team or did. Too lazy to check

  56. @DFH

    Les Grandes Ecoles are an equivalent of graduate schools for future politicians, top-managers and technocrats. You cannot get there right after high-school. Ironically, the French high-school exit exams are pretty hard to pass. But after that it seems like pretty much anybody can get into a place like Sorbonne only to flank the first year with a high degree of probability. Then again, I am probably oversimplifying the system.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    , @DFH
  57. @FormerRocketMan

    The reason that the colleges of Germany, France, and Italy used to be prestigious but aren’t anymore, while Harvard, Yale, Oxford, and Cambridge are super prestigious to the nouveau riche of Guangdong and Bangalore is because the Anglo-Americans won The Big One.

    • Replies: @Anon
    , @Redneck farmer
  58. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:
    @Unladen Swallow

    I myself don’t understand why, after 50 years of ferocious affirmative action so many Whites still cling to the old bourgeois ideal that Whites will be rewarded for brains and hard work.

    Plus the endless discussions of IQ SAT scores NYC special public schools are just ridiculous when the average White SATs and B- grades and a check in the black box gets a White into any school
    with a scholarship but high score SATs and an A+ average check the White box gets nothing nothing nothing.

    We are ruled from hell by Satan’s black robed minions and they have declared again and again that it is legal, a positive good, and the law of the USA that the 14th amendment doesn’t apply to Whites and that Whites shall be discriminated in every way.

    Every thing from college admissions to business loans to employment to pot shops are organized around aggressive No Whites Need Apply laws.

  59. Anon[144] • Disclaimer says:
    @Steve Sailer

    A lot of it has to do with the fact that if you want to become part of the intellectual world, you need to learn English, so it makes sense to go to an English-speaking college. If you want to go to college in Germany, France, etc., you need to learn the native language, and most foreign students only have time for learning one foreign language intensively, and no more.

  60. Anon[144] • Disclaimer says:

    I’m still not too impressed by all these people who tried to buy their way into good schools. If you’re really determined, you do it the cold-blooded, old-fashioned way. You marry someone smart and have smart kids.

  61. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    I love blues aquas pure, not mud greens and that Tiffany aqua blue is the most beautiful of all colors. It’s on my walls. Looks great with pink fuschia white orchids

  62. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:
    @Jack D

    Asians have their own way of doing things. They really don’t need to get involved in White networks.

  63. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:
    @Unladen Swallow

    Hmmm Duck was gone about 1 month. That’s a 30 day sentence at county. I think you’re right .

  64. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:

    Or just change the last name to a common and obvious Spanish name.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  65. Gordo says:

    I guess he could have meant that he was kicked out, but I suspect admission may be harder to get than you’re describing.

    I’m told in France it’s all political favours, no actual money changes hands.

  66. @Steve Sailer

    My high school chemistry teacher, Mr. Walker, was a walker in the 1976 Olympics in Montreal

    An aptronym!

    You should’ve taken up boating, not golf.

  67. @Anon

    Or just change the last name to a common and obvious Spanish name


  68. @JimDandy

    Ah, Billy Idol.

    I’m not sure if he made Stevens popular or Stevens made him popular (probably a bit of both, with credit due to Aucoin’s mojo), but that God for this:

    Idol? He was in rock ‘n’ roll for the right reasons:

    He was in rock ‘n’ roll for the sex.

    He was in rock ‘n’ roll for the drugs.

    “Gimme a beer and a line and gimme a blowjob.”

    Apparently at one time he had a second house specifically for hosting his adulterous orgies, at his wife’s request he keep that sort of thing away from the marital home. (When you think about it, that’s both slimy as Hell but alpha as Hell in its way, and shows how far we have come, as today she’d have simply had him incarcerated for making her feel intimidated and kept the marital home for herself along with $500,000,000.00 a month for “child support” – nappies are expensive, you know.)

    He is what we call a character.

    • Replies: @Autochthon
  69. Realist says:

    The idea of merit based college admittance died decades ago.

  70. @guest

    A good conman can be called out, not know what they’re doing, and still slip by. Like the Catch Me If You Can guy

    We may never know who really wrote the Sixties hit “Catch Us If You Can”.

    • Replies: @Trevor H.
  71. @International Jew

    Fake skiier would be great, because of the sheer quantity of unending fail all the way down the slope. I imagine it like a scene from Three’s Company (Ritter being such a master of physical comedy): The kid gets deeper and deeper in as the coach and him suit up and board the lift, the phony striving vainly for a way to excuse himself. Then, standing atop the ridge together, the affable coach effuses that he can’t wait to see his brilliant new athlete shine, delivering a hearty, avuncular slap on the back which sends the phony careening down the slope. Hilarity and a body-cast ensue after he is finally stopped unceremoniously by a grove of pine trees near the bottom.

    The upshot: He and his parents concoct a Byzantine excuse that it was all a feak accident caused by a death cookie, and everyone buys this second ruse, so the kid retains his athletic scholarship and is awarded a second one, along with a coveted executive position upon geaduation, account of affirmative action for being disabled and therefor “diverse.”

    Now, that right there is The Currant Beer.

    • Replies: @International Jew
  72. @Autochthon

    Well I’m too late carching the gaff to fix it, but I meant to embed the appropriate episode of Behind the Music with the lurid and hilarious details of Mr. Idol, not the schlocky bit about the Goop at Taco Bell.

    Damn my incompetent, insomniac postings.

  73. 0jd says: • Website

    here you go a cheating scandal, but it is totally fictional… right

  74. @Steve Sailer

    So the REAL reason to worry about China is that it’ll knock out our university system out of first place?

  75. Ghrfbhg says:

    Another funny scene in our back to school remake would be the parent telling the kid that he’s now a pole vaulter, kinda like jerry telling George that he’s a marine biologist.

  76. Trevor H. says:

    Graduates at the better schools typically have the least debt. Colleges such as Princeton pretty much pay the way for any student that needs it.

  77. Trevor H. says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    Yeesh. I only found out that Dave Clark was gay about two weeks ago. I’m always the last to know.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
    , @Jim Don Bob
  78. Trevor H. says:

    Very similar to the orthodox jews in the New York region.

  79. Trevor H. says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    Presumably that movie can no longer be shown, thanks to that painfully cringeworthy performance?

    But yeah, super exclusive restaurants and nightclubs definitely fit the bill of businesses that turn away most (potential) customers.

    It’s also true of professional firms at the very high end. They turn away both job applicants and clients!

  80. Trevor H. says:

    The funny thing is that the elite college degrees may be worth a lot less than people think: various studies seem to show this, as do my own personal observations. One of my brothers has a BA from Stanford, the other from Harvard. Neither ever made as much as a good plumber.

    It’s dismaying to see yet another person repeat the notion that the value of a quality education can be measured in dollars and cents. And that the primary value of a good school is the networking opportunities it may provide.

    • Replies: @PhysicistDave
  81. Travis says:

    these parents are primarily buying status markers , same reason people buy expensive cars. These parents have a minimum net-worth of $25 million. Among their circle of friends and acquaintances it is important to signal their status by having their children attend good colleges. Becoming a plumber after spending $120,000 on their High School education would look very foolish.

    Their children want to attend top schools where their friends are going. These kids are spoiled and expect to get what they want. It would be a real embarrassment to graduate from a prep school and not get admitted to a decent college. It is mostly about status and networking potential. One of the disadvantages of attending private prep schools , almost all your school friends will be enrolled in top colleges. You will not know anybody attending the second tier state University. Just as these parents spoil their kids with expensive birthday gifts, they will spend their disposable income to get them help getting into the colleges they want to attend. Same reason these parents spent $50,000 on a car for them when they turned 16. Their kids are spoiled brats and the parents are buying them what they demand, the parents also get the status of bragging about their kids attending Stanford.

    it may actually be easier to graduate with a B average at USC or Yale than at the typical State University. This could be another reason it is worth cheating to attend a high status school , they are far easier to graduate from and you will certainly network with higher status people than at the lower status State schools. It would be foolish to have your daughter become a plumber apprentice instead of attending USC or Stanford , where they could find a rich husband. it is not just about the money they could earn as a Plumber verse the expense of paying for College.

    • Agree: PhysicistDave
    • Replies: @Clyde
  82. Jack D says:
    @Jus' Sayin'...

    Because what he did was perfectly legal. Harvard owns it own admission slots and is free to sell them, give them out to minorities, athletes, legacies, whomever the hell it wants. It’s like Nixon’s “when the President does it, it’s not illegal” concept.

    • Replies: @Johann Ricke
  83. anonymous[340] • Disclaimer says:
    @Jus' Sayin'...

    Because they are all on the same team. But keep voting if it makes you feel better.

  84. MarkinLA says:

    The daughters of Lori Laughlin are quite pretty. On the local radio they have a tape of one of them admitting that she doesn’t really have time (or interest) for school since she is flying to places like Fiji all the time (probably photo shoots). She mostly wanted to be part of game day festivities.

  85. @Reg Cæsar

    The menu, while pricey, looked pretty good. I don’t abide French wines, but plenty of the food choices looked like something that would be too much work to re-create at home. That’s how I judge a restaurant: Is it yummy without being overwhelming? And is this something I really can’t do at home?

  86. Flip says:

    I used to know some unionized theater people, and the joke was that anyone can be President but it takes a relative to become a stagehand.

  87. Pole vaulter strikes me as a bad choice, given the experience of my not-unatheltic brother-in-law. He was in track in high school, and as a typical overconfident teenage male, he grabbed a pole and just went for it.

    When he came down on the hard surface after failing to clear the bar, he got a compound fracture of his tibia. There are plenty of sports were failure is embarrassing. This particular one easily turns dangerous.

  88. @Tiny Duck

    I’m confused. Did they pay the bribes with their skin color?

  89. Olorin says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    Good lord, did they get those femmy club chairs upholstered by prison labor?

  90. @Autochthon

    Pretty funny but remember the coach would have been in on the scam and made sure the kid didn’t come near any assistant coaches or athletes who weren’t in on the scam.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  91. Pericles says:

    Pole vaulters have excellent general body tone. Perhaps the key is intervals, sprinting while carrying that long, heavy pole in a raised position?

    I’ve never done any pole vaulting myself, but a friend mentioned he tried it in high school. At some point, the pole of course broke, he landed on his head and was knocked unconscious. Still managed to get into STEM, though.

  92. JimDandy says:

    She didn’t have the luxury of sharing a Great Uncle Yitzak with the Chief Admissions Officer.

  93. Pericles says:
    @Jus' Sayin'...

    Whitey is just so bad at that plausible deniability thing.

  94. JimDandy says:

    Jews are the gold medalists of unfair Ivy League Admission culture, East Coast WASPS have legacy entitlement and big donor money, minorities have affirmative action, and white ethnics (like Italians) are less represented at those schools than blacks & hispanics.

    Viva Carmela.

  95. @Jack D

    The question is whether they will get expelled?

    As we all know from the example of foreign national minors smuggled across the border by their illegal alien “parents”, we can’t blame the children for the parents’ mistakes.

  96. ozarkjoe says:

    Having 50% wash out means you wasted their time and money that could have been put to productive use elsewhere. Better to screen your students before accepting them.

    Higher Ed needs to be complete overhauled. Lower the price, tighten admissions, get rid of sports, ban the $PLC from campus, teach Western Civ.

    • Replies: @Don't Look at Me
  97. @Tiny Duck

    And WTF does that have to do with the other 95% dirt fucking poor whites like me?

    But then again, in some circles i’m not white.

    Can we call it what it is? Green privilege.

  98. @Trevor H.

    Is he “out”, or is that still rumour? The man is among the most closed-mouth in show business. And shrewd.

    It’s always sad when an only child, or only surviving child, is queer. From Cole Porter to Chester “Gavin” Arthur III to Tyler Brûlé to Anderson Cooper.

    “In my sons’ youth, their promise, their possibilities, my stake in immortality is invested.”

    –Wyatt Cooper

    Not anymore.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  99. Clyde says:

    You are so correct in your first two paragraphs. 80% of the drive to get their children into suitable and excellent schools comes from the parents who don’t want to be embarrassed when then they talk to their peers and compare notes on their offspring. The college kids in this Singer scandal are mostly oblivious to the advantages of going to a fine university. Such as the enhanced credentials, meeting suitable marriage partners and the networking that can last a lifetime.

    Your children somehow, some way get into an elite college, your status and parental bragging rights are enhanced.

  100. DFH says:

    You cannot go there directly after school but you can without having completed a prior degree but just special exams. They do have undergraduates.

  101. @Trevor H.

    Trevor H wrote to me:

    It’s dismaying to see yet another person repeat the notion that the value of a quality education can be measured in dollars and cents.

    Do you understand that the vast majority of kids at elite universities do not receive a “quality education” at those schools???

    Yeah, I think you do know that because you also said:

    And that the primary value of a good school is the networking opportunities it may provide.

    The “primary value” indeed. Meaning that the supposed (but non-existent) “quality education” is not the “primary value.”

    And, yeah, if Daddy is a hedge-fund manager like the dad of Ziad Ahmed (the kid who wrote #BlackLivesMatter 100 times for his Stanford application essay, and was admitted!), then no doubt there are real “networking opportunities.” But, if you compare long-term success for kids with comparable test scores among the kids who were rejected by Stanford and those who went to Stanford, it turns out that the HYPS schools don’t really help that much for most ordinary kids.

    It’s all a head fake.

    But, most importantly, as your second sentence shows, you know yourself that these schools are not about quality education. Have you paid no attention at all to the news for years that shows the corruption in the humanities and social sciences at elite schools? Don’t you know that the various “grievance-studies” departments are just sops to quiet the racial minorities and keep them in their place?

    As someone with a Ph.D. from Stanford in physics, I can tell you that the deep corruption is not limited to the admissions process or the humanities and social-science departments. The corruption also extends deeply into STEM.

    When I was a doctoral student at Stanford, I stumbled, quite unwittingly, upon scientific fraud by a faculty member. A number of faculty knew about the fraud: no one cared. They just didn’t want the institution harmed. I was willing to just be quiet, but that was not enough: they insisted I leave the academic world. I could go on and on about corruption in STEM academic journals, in other STEM fields, etc.

    The whole university system in the USA is just rotten to the core.

    Anyone who actually cares about getting a “quality education” can learn enormously more through the (free) online courses available through edX, Coursera, and other online sites, from the Teaching Company video courses, from Rosetta Stone language learning programs, etc. than he can learn at any single university.

    But, of course, that’s not the point, is it? The real point is the, largely meaningless, paper credentials, and, of course, the “networking,” which, for most students means the beer blasts, drunken promiscuity, etc.

    It would be best for the country to shut down every single university across the land and allow anyone who actually wishes to learn to make use of edX, etc. Barring that, we could at least stop shoveling taxpayer money into this filthy con game.

    But, we won’t, because it is a racket. I’m all in favor of as many American kids as possible getting a “quality education.” But let’s be quite honest: American colleges and universities are the primary impediment to “quality education” in this country today.

    (You want detailed documentation? Read Bryan Caplan’s The Case Against Education, published just last year. He buttresses what I have learned from the daily news and from my own experience.)

  102. VinDiesel says:
    @Jack D

    A:) Because they’re subsidized, DUH. If they could avoid taking any kids they would, but they need federal funds and grants, and alumni donations. We will only start to see reform when the super-rich start taking their kids and money elsewhere. Which won’t happen, because they are trustees.

  103. @Jack D

    Because what he did was perfectly legal. Harvard owns it own admission slots and is free to sell them, give them out to minorities, athletes, legacies, whomever the hell it wants. It’s like Nixon’s “when the President does it, it’s not illegal” concept.

    Could Harvard’s tax exemption be revoked for non-compliance with Federal regulations re admissions, assuming any regulations even apply?

  104. @Trevor H.

    I only found out that Dave Clark was gay about two weeks ago.

    Which Dave Clark? I can think of several.

    • Replies: @Hibernian
  105. @International Jew

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the corrupt coaches weren’t paying off somebody on the admissions committee out of the money they were getting from Singer.

  106. MarkinLA says:
    @International Jew

    As the worlds greatest 8 foot pole vaulter (according to the coach who suggested I do it), it would be simple to ask somebody about their pole and its bend characteristics. Poles have to be matched to the vaulter. This was the problem for me in HS. The only poles the school had were too stiff for my 115 pounds and I could not get them to bend. Since I wasn’t any good, there was no point in getting my own pole.

    • Replies: @International Jew
  107. MarkinLA says:
    @Bill P

    At most HS tracks, the pole vault pit is right next to the track. Most of those old tracks were surrounded by a concrete curb sticking up out of the ground. I fell off once and landed on my butt. Luckily, I wasn’t any good at pole vaulting so it wasn’t a very high fall.

  108. @Tiny Duck

    White Privilege: Getting into a prestigious university with the same grades as the typical black applicant, but at ten times the price.

  109. @PhysicistDave

    This is interesting. You discovered the scientific fraud at Stanford when you were a doctoral student. In order to keep you from telling anyone, they kicked you out.

    It seems to me that it would be smarter for them to let you stay and play ball, versus letting you go with a chip on your shoulder and a vengeful motive to expose them.

    But they let you stay until you finished your thesis and awarded you with a PhD. So were you planning on working there afterward and that’s what they weren’t going to let you do? Or are you barred from teaching at any university anywhere?

    • Replies: @PhysicistDave
  110. @Clyde

    “meeting suitable marriage partners”

    There it is. The number one reason to send your academically mediocre but very attractive daughter to an ivy league school. The benefit is quite tangible. She will be well provided for and you’ll have smart grand-kids.

  111. @ozarkjoe

    “Having 50% wash out means you wasted their time and money that could have been put to productive use elsewhere. Better to screen your students before accepting them.”

    Why? If they wash out after a year, that’s a year of tuition for the university. It costs nothing to kick them out.

  112. Trevor H. says:

    Unreal. Were you really unable to perceive that I was unequivocally disparaging those two paraphrases? I’m truly sorry that you got nothing out of your education besides fraud and corruption. But I’ll do you the favor of ignoring the remainder of your unhinged rant.

    • Replies: @PhysicistDave
  113. RobRich says: • Website
    @Peripatetic Commenter


    What we have here is this. Leftist celebrities and crony capitalists cheat to enter often so-so colleges with dumbed-down entry requirements and course standards to begin with brought about by leftist government regulations/culture war. Arrested for their real crime: left nouveau-riche laziness ( They would rather pay thousands than sit on degraded SAT tests or show up for a High School soccer match? ) so blatant, the centrist people might wake up.

    Makes perfect sense. A match made in heaven. Plus now the far-left purges the left.

    The ‘free market’ and ‘greed’ will be blamed.

    • Replies: @MarkinLA
  114. @Trevor H.

    Trevore H wrote to me:

    Were you really unable to perceive that I was unequivocally disparaging those two paraphrases?

    I’m still not sure what you are trying to say. Your English, she is not so good. Hope it is not your native language!

  115. @Don't Look at Me

    Don’t Look at Me wrote to me:

    It seems to me that it would be smarter for them to let you stay and play ball, versus letting you go with a chip on your shoulder and a vengeful motive to expose them.

    Yeah, it probably would have been wiser on their part, since they were committing fraud on a government contract and conceivably could have gone to federal prison.

    The central guy was a non-tenured professor, who was, I think, eager to get tenure, and I suppose that he panicked. Another of those who were involved told me that if I went public, I would be the only one who would be “hurt”: given his tone of voice, I honestly wasn’t quite sure if he meant they’d sue me, ruin my career, or see that my legs were broken!

    In any case, whether or not a doctoral student gets his Ph.D. is largely a matter of whim on the part of a few key people — his own advisor, the professors with whom he worked on his research, the department chair, etc. Let’s just say that more than one of these was involved in the fraud.

    So, unless I made a federal case out of it, I figured they would deny me the Ph.D. unless I accepted their terms. And, if I did go to court, they would lie about the fraud and the threats made against me and claim that my work just wasn’t very good: whom would a jury believe, a lowly grad student or several professors?

    DLaM also asked

    But they let you stay until you finished your thesis and awarded you with a PhD. So were you planning on working there afterward and that’s what they weren’t going to let you do?

    This was when I was nearly done with my thesis work. I expected to go to work elsewhere as a “post-doc” (post-doctoral fellow): I was one of the better grad students at Stanford, and this was what everyone expected.

    However, getting an initial post-doctoral fellowship depends 100 percent on professors at your doctoral institution really boosting you to other schools. If a faculty member who was involved with your work — advisor, any other professor you worked with on research, department chair — chooses to blackball you, you will not get another position in the academic world. Anywhere. Ever.

    So, it was easy for them to make sure I did not stay in academia. I stayed quiet and left academia, and they let me have the Ph.D.

    I am far from the only person this has happened to. If you blow the whistle on corruption by faculty members, you can expect that your career is kaput, unless you are in a very safe tenured position.

    Most of these cases are kept quiet, but a prominent example was Margot O’Toole, who blew the whistle on an associate of Nobel laureate David Baltimore back in the 1980s. The NIH Office of Scientific Integrity concluded that Baltimore’s associate, Thereza Imanishi-Kari , had falsified and fabricated data and criticized Baltimore for how he handled the matter.


    An appeals panel refused to condemn Thereza Imanishi-Kari but did acknowledge that “The Cell paper as a whole is rife with errors of all sorts … [including] some which, despite all these years and layers of review, have never previously been pointed out or corrected. Responsibility … must be shared by all participants.”

    So, obviously Margot O’Toole had indeed stumbled upon some serious problems, no matter how you cut it: Baltimore did eventually retract the paper in question, and the paper clearly had problems. You’d think the scientific community would reward O’Toole for this, right?

    Nope. Baltimore went on to become president of Rockefeller University and then Caltech!

    Shortly after he resigned as president of Caltech, an investigation of misconduct in his lab at Caltech determined that (quoting from Wikipedia):

    Concluding in March 2007, the Caltech investigation found van Parijs alone committed research misconduct and that four papers co-authored by Baltimore, van Parijs, and others required correction.

    And O’Toole? She of course was not honored by the academic world but was forced to go into industry:

    O’Toole says that after challenging Imanishi-Kari and disagreeing with the conclusions of informal inquiries into the charges at MIT and Tufts, she had difficulty finding a suitable position in science for several years. Today, she is a researcher at Genetics Institute Inc., a Cambridge, Mass., biopharmaceutical firm. But for the first few years after she challenged Imanishi-Kari, O’Toole says, none of her job applications panned out.

    She did not feel that any of the scientists she would normally ask for a recommendation, such as Imanishi-Kari herself or Henry Wortis, her thesis adviser and head of the informal Tufts inquiry that dismissed her complaints, would provide a good one, so she never asked, she contends.

    Did the episode harm O’Toole’s chances of finding work in immunology? Although “O’Toole recognized some real problems with the biology” of the Cell paper, comments Stanford University immunologist Lenore Herzenberg, who briefly considered hiring O’Toole herself, the entire affair “did leave a sour taste, which alone would have damaged her chances of getting work in the field.”

    Yes, it does indeed leave a “sour taste” in the mouths of academics when anyone blows the whistle on their fellow academics.

    We’ll never know for sure what happened; however, both HHS investigating panels agreed the paper had problems, and Baltimore did retract the paper (while strangely claiming he still stood by it!). Baltimore went on to greater glory — until he was caught again for the misconduct that occurred in his lab at Caltech. O’Toole was forced to leave academia.

    The Baltimore scandal erupted several years after my own experience. No one familiar with the academic world was surprised that Baltimore went on to greater things nor that O’Toole had to leave academia.

    Academia is like the Mafia, except that it costs the taxpayer a lot more money.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  116. @MarkinLA

    Fair enough. More people can BS about tennis rackets than about vaulting poles (if that’s even the right word for them).

    Kudos on your 8′ vault. Any vault at all is commendable. People who’ve only seen it on TV, ie only seen world-class vaulters, have no idea how hard it is to get off the ground at all, and how comically awkward the vaulters are at a typical high school meet.

  117. E e says:

    It’s a dating service. The high profile admitted students seem to be female, at least the ones I’ve seen… Do you want your daughter marrying some guy from Arizona State?

  118. @Lagertha

    That’s interesting. A close relation of mine, a girl, went there in the ’70’s. I had always assumed that she, from Santa Monica, wanted to see the East Coast. Now you’re telling me that she was probably stupid.
    Evidence for your thesis might be that she was big on the tennis team there, but evidence against might be that she then married her childhood sweetheart, who never left the academic stratosphere in first, mathematics, and then physics and economics (doctorates in both) and finally business with an M.B.A. He was both a tenured professor and an administrator (to the rank of acting president) of his chosen university. On the other hand, they were married for less than five years, so maybe he took to your view of her prospects in the end. I think my view, too, that it was the East which had originally called her there is verified by the fact that she went straight back after the divorce and his lived in Virginia ever since.

  119. Anonymous[269] • Disclaimer says:

    Pole vaulting is dangerous. Kid in my school, good athlete, fell wrong (when his bar didn’t touch correctly) and was paralyzed for life.

  120. Hibernian says:
    @Dave Pinsen

    Not only that, but she’s the star, as an amateur detective, of the Lifetime or Hallmark, I forget which, cable channel movie series “Garage Sale Mysteries.” You can’t make that up./The jokes write themselves.

  121. MarkinLA says:

    No if it was a truly free market, USC would simply have an auction for admission.

  122. Lagertha says:

    Periodically, I get unmoored.

  123. @Clyde

    Bragging is low status.

  124. @PhysicistDave

    Most professions have devolved into glorified guilds, with a strong omertà in full force. Having forgotten the vocatio which originally inspired them that was all but inevitable.

  125. Desiderius wrote:

    Most professions have devolved into glorified guilds, with a strong omertà in full force. Having forgotten the vocatio which originally inspired them that was all but inevitable.

    I’m tempted to dub this “the fundamental law of social science.”

    All human organizations and institutions become corrupt, often on a time scale of decades. It is generally impossible to reform them by any kind of top-down initiative: entrenched interests are just too overwhelming. (Apparently, the phrase used by organization theorists is “goal displacement.”)

    Anyone with any experience of the world knows that this occurs in businesses,charitable organizations, political parties, professions, religious organizations, government programs, and pretty much every aspect of human social life.

    The great genius of the free market and, more broadly, free societies in general is that they can terminate the existence of corrupt and inefficient organizations and institutions without actually having a war, civil terror, religious persecution, etc. Simply going bankrupt is a much gentler (and less costly) way of putting an ineffective organization out of its misery than any of the alternatives.

    The one economist who pushed this point is of course Joseph Schumpeter. I truly wonder why it is not a central theme for all economists, political scientists, and sociologists.

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