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From Arkansas Online:

DNA test shows Hunter Biden is father of Arkansas woman’s baby
by Frank E. Lockwood | Today at 2:30 p.m.

DNA testing has established, “with scientific certainty,” that Hunter Biden is the father of an Arkansas baby, according to a motion filed Wednesday in Independence County on behalf of the child’s mother, Lunden Alexis Roberts.

Hunter had claimed that this was impossible.

Poor Joe Biden has had two fine children die before him, but his Problem Child, Hunter, appears to be so full of beans that he may live to be 100, keeping the Biden name embarrassingly in the headlines for another half century.

 
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  1. Man, these scientists were just 27 years too late with this stuff! Coulda’ had a field day with it.

  2. JimB says:

    Poor Joe Biden has had two fine children die before him, but his Problem Child, Hunter, appears to be so full of beans that he may live to be 100, keeping the Biden name embarrassingly in the headlines for another half century.

    Only the good die young.

  3. Hunter is a fucking disaster. I want to party with him!

    Here is Lunden:

    She looks sane and stable to me!

  4. “An Arkansas baby” made me think of this song:

    He had the name and he had the blood.
    There never was a son like the Beltway Stud.

  5. J.Ross says:

    HE ACTUALLY TWEETED IT THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
    https://postimg.cc/D4kb2JWQ
    (I didn’t think today would be bigger than yesterday, given Vindman falling apart and Volker destroying the narrative.)

  6. Ukraine and Arkansas? Well, the man certainly gets around….

  7. slumber_j says:

    Twitter’s gotta be bracing for the Trumppensturm

  8. I’m excited to see “Lunden” in front of the cameras. I’m sure she’ll look like someone a VP’s kid would be proud to impregnate. Better than Pairess I guess.

  9. Art Deco says:

    1. The man has a great talent for leveraging connections.

    2. He’s the sum of his appetites.

    Latter day Lyndon Johnson.

    • Replies: @kaganovitch
    , @Johann Ricke
  10. Lot says:

    Bad seed?

    Grandson of VP and possible POTUS gives this a kid a big leg up on all the other children of unwed mothers in Arkansas.

    • Agree: Redneck farmer
    • Replies: @Flip
  11. “When it Ukraines, it pours”, as someone just said on Twitter:

    Burisma Founder Suspected Of Embezzling Ukrainian State Funds, Whereabouts Currently Unknown
    November 20, 2019, 4:32 PM ET
    Ukraine’s top prosecutor announced Wednesday that the country is expanding its probe into the founder of Burisma, whose whereabouts are currently unknown to authorities, to include suspected embezzlement of state funds.
    […]
    The announcement of Ukraine’s expanded probe into Zlochevsky comes amid an impeachment inquiry into whether President Donald Trump withheld military assistance to the country in exchange for an investigation into Burisma and Hunter Biden, the son of former Vice President Joe Biden, who served on the board of the natural gas company from 2014 to 2019.

    https://dailycaller.com/2019/11/20/burisma-founder-suspected-embezzlement/

    • Replies: @El Dato
  12. Neuday says:
    @MikeatMikedotMike

    Not to defend Hunter, but who among us has been intimate only with sane and stable women?

  13. Flip says:
    @Lot

    Grandson of VP and possible POTUS gives this a kid a big leg up on all the other children of unwed mothers in Arkansas.

    I imagine Hunter is good for NBA level of child support.

    • Replies: @Lot
    , @Barnard
    , @Calvin Hobbes
  14. @MikeatMikedotMike

    The old “Ukrainian oil companies pay me $600,000 just for my advice” line. Works every time.

  15. @MikeatMikedotMike

    White fertility!

    White man impregnating white woman producing white baby? In 2019?

    All this time in and it turns out Hunter Biden is secretly alt-right. That could be the final nail in old creepy Joe’s coffin.

  16. El Dato says:
    @Cagey Beast

    How do you even detect “embezzlement of state funds” in Ukraine?

  17. Muggles says:

    Well, now Hunter has a great excuse for getting all of that “no show dough” from Ukraine and Red China: more child support payments!

    Any legal questions about these obvious corrupt “pay my son” bribes can be dismissed by Pelosi & Co. as “being for the children.” Any action taken against Daddy-o here will “hurt the kids.”

    Of course that seldom works in the real world where most of the inmates are baby daddies, but since Hunter is part of the Ruling Class Elite it might just work with the DC crowd.

  18. Hubbub says:
    @Reality Cheque

    Now, Georgia would be more appropriate since it’s near Ukraine.

  19. This article on baby mama reads like something out of a chapter in Bill Wyman’s biography.

    https://globintel.com/usa/lunden-alexis-roberts-wiki/

    • Replies: @El Dato
    , @Autochthon
  20. @Neuday

    Not to defend Hunter, but who among us has been intimate only with sane and stable women?

    They’re my bread and butter, those half-a-psychos. They aren’t meant for marrying after all. And you don’t have children with them. The trick is to get away without your car being vandalized.

  21. J.Ross says:

    The law firm representing Vindman is also Burisma’s law firm. But that doesn’t mean anything. See, there’s, like, three law firms tops in the Ukrainian and Ukrainian diaspora community.

  22. Lot says:
    @Flip

    I would think so too, but public disclosure like this suggests a breakdown in out-of-court child support negotiations.

  23. AP says:

    This sort of thing in the family will further endear Joe Biden to a segment of Democratic voters that already support him. Too bad it wasn’t on Maury.

  24. Lot says:
    @Neuday

    “ sane and stable women”

    • Replies: @Redneck farmer
  25. Barnard says:
    @Flip

    Does he currently have a job? While Joe works hard at finding Hunter no show jobs, I would suspect he has the family estate structured in such a way to keep as much as possible away from Hunter.

  26. MEH 0910 says:

    Problem Child ~ Graham Parker & The Rumour

  27. HonestBl2 says:

    it’s called regression to the mean.

  28. anon[264] • Disclaimer says:

    • LOL: Paleo Liberal
  29. El Dato says:
    @Jim bob Lassiter

    Lundenproletariat vs House of Biden.

    She looks nice though, would date. Also, there is a gun shop in the family, so one could conceivably learn some useful things about metalworking.

  30. @Flip

    I imagine Hunter is good for NBA level of child support.

    Perhaps, when Hunter left the condom in the trash, Ms. Roberts saw the makings for a retirement plan, with a steady paycheck.

    Hunter had claimed that this was impossible.

    To be fair to Hunter, I think it’s quite possible that he has no memory of his encounter with Ms. Roberts. His first wife said he was spending all their money on drugs and prostitutes, so for him Ms. Roberts may have just been one of dozens of partners in drug-fueled hook ups.

    • Replies: @bclinton
  31. Steve Sailer,
    I have a question for you. Is Hunter Biden an example of what you call, “regression towards the mean?”

    • Replies: @J.Ross
  32. “With scientific certainty?” Is that truly possible? I’ve been around a lot of rigmarole in family [sic] courts, and I have never seen a paternity test that ever made any assurances above a ninety-nine (99%) likelihood so-and-so is the father of Baby Doe. I’ve see tenths of a percentage added (e.g., 99.54%), but I have never seen a result of one hundred percent.

    Can anyone with more scientific expertise please explain. Am I misunderstanding what is meant by “scientific certainty” here or has the state of art recently improved, or what…?

    • Replies: @anon
    , @Autochthon
  33. Anonymous[259] • Disclaimer says:

  34. @Jim bob Lassiter

    Lunden is a great ball handler and can finish at the glass or with a jump shot. She is very savvy on the floor and has a lot of game experience.

    Quite.

    • Replies: @Gary in Gramercy
  35. MEH 0910 says:

    Problem Child – Complaint Against Junior

    • Replies: @MEH 0910
  36. anon[261] • Disclaimer says:
    @Autochthon

    “With scientific certainty?” Is that truly possible?

    Lol, you should know that if a family court judge says that PI = 3.00 or 2 + 2 = 22, that is truly possible in that court of equity, and will be enforced by men with guns.

    Speaking of the NBA…Hunter Biden should have flushed the condom himself…that’s what the pros doe.

  37. @Lot

    Dude, do you WANT Rosie to firebomb your house?

    • LOL: TWS, YetAnotherAnon
  38. @Neuday

    There’s garden variety crazy – meaning wife material, and then there’s this:

  39. @MikeatMikedotMike

    Well, at least she looks like she was older than 16 when he impregnated her.

    And in other news The Andrew formerly known as Prince has been demoted!

    Oh wait. He’s only stepping down.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7707443/Duke-York-step-public-duties.html

    Is that stepping down from 17 year-olds to what?

    • Replies: @YetAnotherAnon
  40. @JimB

    While I appreciate your and Steve’s thought process, Naomi Biden was 13 months old when she was killed. No one knows if she was good or not.

    • Replies: @Peripatetic Commenter
  41. @Reality Cheque

    Perhaps they were introduced by Bill Clinton!

  42. It seems that Hunter Biden is a real stunt hunter, if you know what I mean.

  43. What I will remember of this story was Julia Ioffe, pundit or reporter of The Atlantic, NYT, etc. and twitter personality, thinking out loud that the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, that tweeted out this less-than-momentous “breaking news”, was a Russian bot (!).

    For some reason I could find no mirth in that. It’s taking more effort to find things funny.

  44. Mr. XYZ says:

    LOL! Hunter has become The Hunted! XD

  45. @MikeatMikedotMike

    Thousand c__k stare, meet the thousand c__k smile. Be afraid, be very afraid…

  46. Malcolm Y says:

    A potential Flashman?

  47. @Art Deco

    Latter day Lyndon Johnson.

    More like Flashman’s much stupider younger brother, but without the charm.

  48. @ScarletNumber

    I’m happy to give her the benefit of the doubt!

  49. @J.Ross

    How sad that fate cast pale, doughy Lt. Col Vindman as the Dems’ gallant military man.
    But maybe he does personify the new woke af military, to be led by Admiral Shanaynay and Captain Fuquan.

  50. @JimB

    What a relief. When I read “Arkansas woman,” my first thought was Chelsea Clinton.

    • Replies: @JimB
  51. There was a crooked man, and he had a crooked smile;
    He had a crooked daddy and they walked a crooked mile.

    He had two crooked testicles, and a crooked d—;
    In the crooked state of Arkansas he f—-ed a crooked chick.

    She had a crooked baby and it wore a crooked diaper;
    He had his crooked fun, and now it’s time to pay the piper.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
    , @JMcG
  52. Realist says:
    @Neuday

    Not to defend Hunter, but who among us has been intimate only with sane and stable women?

    Damn few…been there done that.

  53. tyrone says:

    The kid has hit the jackpot ,Hunter has all that sweet Ukraine cash.

  54. @Peripatetic Commenter

    I don’t pretend to understand US law, but is the age of consent different in different US states?

    In the UK it’s 16 everywhere, and if sleeping with a 17 year old was a criminal offence about a quarter of the population would have been convicted. Hell, in the UK recently a primary school headmaster was sacked after having a threesome with two 17 year old Grindr boys, he appealed and was awarded a million-dollar settlement by an employment tribunal, who decided he’d been sacked for being gay.

    Is there outrage in the US at the thought that Andrew may have slept with someone who was 17?

    Andrew certainly can’t pick them. His wife (whose mother ran off with a polo player and whose father was an adultery-and-hookers kind of guy) cuckolded him with an American financial adviser, and his alleged US squeeze turns out to be the sex slave of a Mossad blackmailer.

    Makes you think perhaps Charles was sensible to choose the comfy Camilla.

  55. @Autochthon

    No, no, no. I am not speaking of judges’ decisions. I am referring to the actual reports from the geneticists – the scientists and technicians – the reports from the laboratories. These reports have nothing to do with the family [sic] courts’ complete mockery of logic, justice, etc. you (correctly) disdain, just as one cannot conflate, say, an expert forensic geneticist’s assurance that blood found on a glove was (or was not) that of a football player accused of murder with whatever stupid findings a judge or jury make in light of the scientific evidence.

    When I refer to paternity tests, I am talking about the scientific findings – the original, certified reports from the genetic laboratories who perform the buccal swabs and subsequent analysis which are then entered into evidence. I am not referring to findings by the courts.

  56. Arkansas?

    Couldn’t he have chosen a less obvious state? PJ O’Rourke on his first visit to Little Rock observed the many evangelical billboards, and said a place must be pretty randy to require this much salvation.

    (Jim Stafford likened cats to Baptists. You knew they were raising hell, but you could never catch them at it.)

    Poor Joe Biden has had two fine children die before him…

    The Hunter survives, the gatherers don’t. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Or maybe it’s Irish humor. The Biden children are like JFK, RFK, and EMK. The punch line comes third.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_line#Three_part_structure

  57. @the one they call Desanex

    There was a crooked man, and he had a crooked smile;

    That smile belongs in only one state. Hunter, cross that Big Muddy!

  58. @Reg Cæsar

    I didn’t get it at first, but you’re absolutely right. I was trying to think of something to compare his smile to, with no luck, but it really does look like Tennessee!

  59. @J.Ross

    I think Vindman was confused with Venkman, and the first thing to come to mind was the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

    https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=choose+the+form+of+the+destroyer&view=detail&mid=1B55C36B81FB703DFE4D1B55C36B81FB703DFE4D&FORM=VIRE

  60. Flip says:
    @YetAnotherAnon

    Yes, it varies by state. Generally from 16 to 18.

  61. Jack D says:
    @YetAnotherAnon

    The age of consent in the US varies by state – it ranges from 16 to 18. (18 in NY where Andrew stayed with Epstein). There is no really clear regional pattern though the Midwest is most solidly at 16. Some states (not NY) have a “Romeo and Juliet” exception where it’s not statutory rape if one mate is within a few (usually up to 4) years in age of the other and are over some lower minimum age (e.g. 13). E.g. in Tennessee the age of consent is 18 but a 13 year old can sleep with another 13 to 17 year old.

    • Replies: @Art Deco
    , @YetAnotherAnon
  62. Art Deco says:
    @Jack D

    See the Penal Law of New York:

    S 130.00 Sex offenses; definitions of terms.

    “… 3. A person is deemed incapable of consent when he or she is:
    (a) less than seventeen years old; or
    (b) mentally disabled; or
    (c) mentally incapacitated; or
    (d) physically helpless; or
    (e) committed to the care and custody or supervision of the state…”

    • Replies: @Sean
  63. @Autochthon

    So: Hunter got captured by the game.

  64. @Jack D

    Yes, but, given that

    (aka Wiki “she asserted that she had sex with the Duke on three occasions, including a trip to London in 2001, when she was 17 and again in New York and on a private Caribbean island.“)

    it doesn’t appear he’s broken US law, (not that I’d set foot in the States again in his Loakes – too many contingency-fee lawyers), then what does the average US John Doe think about it?

    • Replies: @Sean
  65. JimB says:
    @Kolya Krassotkin

    What a relief. When I read “Arkansas woman,” my first thought was Chelsea Clinton.

    Or Hillary at one of those Italian fertility clinics specializing in impregnating grandmothers.

  66. @Art Deco

    1. The man has a great talent for leveraging connections.

    2. He’s the sum of his appetites.

    Latter day Lyndon Johnson.

    LBJ got to the White House. Biden Jr is just a slick hanger-on.

  67. @Neuday

    I’m still looking for one. Sadly, I think Lot is right.

  68. Sean says:
    @Art Deco

    In the early seventies it was 16 years old in New York.

  69. anon[157] • Disclaimer says:

    Time for this duet: Clapton with JJ Cale!

  70. Sean says:
    @YetAnotherAnon

    A lawyer who brings a case is required to check the story their client tells and find it has a basis in fact, as well as being legally permissible. Also someone caught telling fibs on oath (Maxwell’s lawyer’s caught her out, she originally said she was 15 years old in the photo, but she now admit she was at least 17) cannot have her word taken for other things she says. She said she met the Gore’s on Epstein’s atoll but they insist they have never been there.

    She is an admitted prostitute who definitely took money for sex with Epstein, but alleges that she slept with two ex PMs and an ex President. Her father said she told her said she’d met the Queen (she didn’t) No prosecutors used herein the cases against Epstein. She had a boyfriend while she was with Epstein (his bodyguard)m so her claim to be a sex slave is dubious. The idea that she could win a case against Andrew is laughable.

    Andrew was a celebrity still in his thirties at the time and he could have a lot better looking 17 year olds than her if he was interested. He wasn’t, he went for women about his own age or older rather than girls. His wife was slightly older.

    I think the only strike against Andrew is he, like Ehud Barak, did not cut off contact with Epstein after the court case, but Barak did not seem to know the charges involved underage (seriously underage) prostitutes, so likely Andrew thought that too. Epstein was a world class con man.

    • Replies: @Jack D
  71. bclinton says:
    @Calvin Hobbes

    Take it from me–very good theory. I never met her. Honestly.

  72. Neoconned says:

    I’m truly shocked at the number of idiots who believe the Russian bot nonsense.

    Trump won only via the electoral college but he did so fair and square. Hillary lost because she called Midwestern factory workers deplorables.

    Trump at least lied in saying the factories and mills were coming back w high paying union jobs when he knew damn well they aren’t…..but at least Trump worked for their votes. Hillary didnt even try. Her campaign was basically elect me “because racism”…..that’s why she lost….not because the stupid FSB or KGB or whatever did social media smear campaigns….

  73. Jack D says:
    @Sean

    There is a court of law and a court of public opinion. The British royal family has to continually justify its existence in the modern world – the benefits that they bring to the British people has to outweigh their cost or else they are just an expensive welfare burden. Andrew’s costs now outweigh his benefits and the royal family has to throw him overboard to save themselves.

    • Replies: @Art Deco
    , @Sean
  74. Didn’t fall far from the tree.

  75. @YetAnotherAnon

    Whatever the age, naive young girls were being manipulated and pimped out. If statutory rape laws will put these people away, then let’s make it happen.

  76. Art Deco says:
    @Jack D

    the benefits that they bring to the British people has to outweigh their cost or else they are just an expensive welfare burden.

    Are they more or less burdensome than a hack politician placed in the ‘Presidency’? Not sure about the accounting here, but here is one perspective:

    https://dailycaller.com/2012/09/26/taxpayers-spent-1-4-billion-on-obama-family-last-year-perks-questioned-in-new-book/

    Note, members of the royal family (and their dependents) who have a ‘civil list’ stipend or a residence in a Crown Estate property number just shy of 30 sorted into 10 or 12 households (roughly half of which aren’t getting any cash). About 10 of the 30 are working-aged adults (of whom two or three are currently employed, two were bullied into leaving their jobs due to newspaper campaigns, and two are mothers of pre-school children).

  77. Sean says:
    @Jack D


    Andrew and his girlfriend during the time Roberts was employed by Epstein.

    There are New Royals generation that is the future King and Queen, and there is his half brother and American wife to be media fodder. Andrew was always going to be in semi retirement by about this stage. His glory days were decades ago and even then he was regarded as a bit of a twerp.

    It’s really the ratings desperate media who go on about the royal family, led by the Murdoch interests who dominate the country. Remember when Murdoch’s rag the Sunday Times said the Queen was the richest person in the world for year after year? British media would be a lot less profitable without the royal family to lie about safe in the knowledge that they never sue. Murdoch’s idiot son weakened their position by overplaying their hand with phone hacking. Jeremy Paxman said former Piers Morgan explained and demonstrated phone hacking years before the scandal, he is lucky not to have got a term in gaol.

    You might as well ask why justify not building over Central Park as keeping the royal family. But even on purely economic ground getting rid of the royals in a non starter Tourism is a major industry. The Royal family and their weddings are superb PR for British influence, and Americans (who are the real high spending visitors) cannot get enough. Foreign leaders who love all that stuff and like the Saudis have VAST amounts to spend, ant they want to mix with the royals that helps the whole country. The least appreciated benefit of the royal family is stability. Keystone Cop state security agencies can not start to think that they run things under some ‘Constitution’. In the UK everyone is a SUBJECT of the Queen. Which is why you can be imprisoned ‘at Her Majesty’s pleasure’.

  78. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:

    Foreign leaders who love all that stuff and like the Saudis have VAST amounts to spend, ant they want to mix with the royals that helps the whole country. The least appreciated benefit of the royal family is stability. Keystone Cop state security agencies can not start to think that they run things under some ‘Constitution’. In the UK everyone is a SUBJECT of the Queen. Which is why you can be imprisoned ‘at Her Majesty’s pleasure’.

    If Liz tried to imprison anyone ((important)) there’d be the end of the royal family, or a regicide, which is pretty easy to cover up on a nonagerian. She knows that.

    Britain would be infinitely better off without Saudi and other Arab oil money and indeed somewhat better off without tourism at all. They’d have to go back to making stuff, which they were pretty good at once.

  79. MEH 0910 says:
    @MEH 0910

    Problem Child – Junior’s Drawer

    Smoking and Cackling – Cape Fear (2/10) Movie CLIP (1991) HD

    The Simpsons – Sideshow Bob at the theater (S5Ep02)

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