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Hopefully, one of Mr. Cohen’s brilliant reasons that Trump is no David is that David had much bigger hands.


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  1. anon[136] • Disclaimer says:

    Why do we valorise David, anyway? He used a ranged weapon in a hand-to-hand duel, that’s no-two-ways-about-it cheating

    Justice 4 Gloiath!!!

  2. Neuday says:

    King David? Isn’t that the hotel the Zionist terrorists blew up and were rewarded with their own country in Palestine?

    • Replies: @Dave Pinsen
  3. Forbes says:

    Some of the president’s supporters have taken to comparing him to the biblical monarch.
    –Straw man argument.

    All the candidates for President–in my voting lifetime–have been devoid of war heroes or spectacular military careers.

    • Replies: @Jmaie
    , @NickG
    , @anon
    , @RadicalCenter
  4. Next weeks article, all the ways Trump is no Easter Bunny.

  5. Anonymous[421] • Disclaimer says:

    Michael Wolff said recently there’s no point working for/reading a newspaper or magazine now because everything in it will be about Donald Trump. (This after he wrung 2 books out of Topic D, admittedly)

  6. Just turn off javascript and most paywalls go away.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
    , @jb
  7. @Richard of Fallbrook

    The week after, Trump is no porn star.

    • Replies: @MikeatMikedotMike
  8. Jmaie says:

    All the candidates for President–in my voting lifetime–have been devoid of war heroes

    2008 seems so long ago…

    • Replies: @guest
    , @Stan d Mute
  9. Dave Pinsen says: • Website

    Who was that hotel named after, a king of Palestine? And why did they blow up a hotel?

    • Replies: @J.Ross
  10. J.Ross says:

    Onion or Babylon Bee template: Jeffrey Goldberg starts out with “Donald Trump is no Heroic Muscular Black Guy.” Goldberg describes how he used to work in an office with this one really bright, good-looking black guy — he cannot remember the gentleman’s name, or what his face looked like, but working there was a treat because this black guy was so smart, so friendly, so good-looking, and so on. In fact there was even one day when this guy took his shirt off at work, and clearly, that wouldn’t turn out well with 45. Goldberg goes down the list of the various ways Trump’s horrible aging orange white non-athlete’s person cannot measure up to that statuesque black body. Finish: Goldberg mentions how he kept a photograph of a heroic-looking IDF soldier as a teenager, and, while he did not join Tzahal or do any exercises or even diet, Trump’s nothing like that guy either.

    • LOL: Tusk
  11. J.Ross says:
    @Dave Pinsen

    The British (then occupying Palestine and actively preventing Zionism) were using the hotel as a headquarters and the Irgun wanted to kill as many British administrative staff as possible.

    • Replies: @HammerJack
  12. trelane says:

    Trump’s hands are noticeably small.

  13. Coemgen says:

    If Trump had been foolish enough to serve in combat in Vietnam, he’d now be known as a “baby killer” and the globalist/statist/left and its media megaphone would be happily in its comfort zone where white former military men are “homegrown terrorists.”

    Remind me, who are the “deplorables?”

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
    , @obwandiyag
  14. anon[247] • Disclaimer says:
    @Richard of Fallbrook

    Next weeks article, all the ways Trump is no Easter Bunny Santa Claus.


    The Easter Bunny column must be held at least until March.

  15. guest says:

    Unequal battle, was it? I missed that part of the story.

    Wait, no. David equalized things by cheating.

  16. guest says:

    True, but the Kingdom of Israel had a motto:

    “No such thing as cheating. Life’s one big grind, even when you’re a sleeping baby.”

    Harsh, but they had this deal with the Almighty, so…

  17. guest says:

    Don’t let’s rehash the unheroic record of Tokyo John.

  18. Trump & David are both Jewish superheroes so I think it’s a valid comparison.

  19. @Jmaie

    All the candidates for President–in my voting lifetime–have been devoid of war heroes

    2008 seems so long ago…

    Yeah, I think I see the source of your confusion here. @Forbes wrote “heroes” and you misread it as “traitors”..

  20. tyrone says:

    Some of Goldberg’s co-religionist are comparing Trump to Cyrus the great……not to shabby!

  21. @J.Ross

    Irgun wanted to kill as many British administrative staff as possible.

    Yo! ..u misspelled wypipos.

  22. @Coemgen

    If Trump had been foolish enough to serve in combat in Vietnam, he’d now be known as a “baby killer”

    As it is, he was instrumental in getting the city’s Vietnam War memorial built. As a close relative’s name– and age!– is inscribed thereon, my family owes a debt of acknowledgement to Mr Trump.

    The ages really hammer it home:

  23. @Just Saying

    Just turn off javascript and most paywalls go away.

    So payroll is more porous than drywall?


  24. @Reg Cæsar

    “Young men think they are invincible. That’s why they make the best soldiers.”

    • Agree: Old Prude
  25. Jeff Goldberg to Trump:

    I knew King David

    I served with King David

    King David was a friend of mine

    You are no King David . . .

  26. Trump is not Moses.
    Trump is not St. Paul
    Trump is not George Washington
    Trump is not Issac Newton
    Trump is not Leo Tolstoy
    Trump is not Marilyn Monroe

    Can I get at a job at The Atlantic?

  27. @trelane

    You know whose hands are big?

    Troy Aikman’s.

    You know who’s not Troy Aikman?

    Donald Trump.

  28. @Twodees Partain

    yeah well, he ain’t no door knob either!

  29. “Not a war hero”

    Yeah, Goldberg probably leans more towards the Ariel Sharon-Yitzhak Shamir “war hero” prototypes.

  30. @anon

    Goliath was a Palestinian.

  31. @Coemgen

    So what’s wrong with calling baby-killing cannon fodder for the rich baby-killing cannon fodder for the rich. What? Do you honor Vietnam veterans? Why? Because they killed lots of babies? I’m sorry, I just never understood people like you who are attracted to baby-killing. Maybe it’s me, but I oppose baby-killing. I think it’s evil. Crazy me.

  32. @Reg Cæsar

    So if a “close relative” of yours was a suicide bomber, does he deserve a memorial?

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  33. jb says:
    @Just Saying

    Or clear cookies (or set your browser to clear cookies when you close). Or browse in Private Mode. (Except some sites detect that and block you. The Atlantic doesn’t seem to be one of them though). You can’t build an impenetrable paywall unless there are no free articles for anyone ever, and most sites (the WSJ is an exception) aren’t ready to go that far. Yet…

  34. @anon

    David made a wise choice.

    • LOL: Inquiring Mind
    • Replies: @anon
  35. @obwandiyag

    A lot of kin of the real Obwandiyag have their names on such monuments:

    My family member was in Vietnam because LBJ conscripted him. He was cramming for his real estate license, which didn’t get you a draft deferment, and he didn’t take the train to Montreal like some of his neighbors.

    The ones you appear to have more respect for.

    • Agree: Redneck farmer
  36. NickG says:

    All the candidates for President–in my voting lifetime–have been devoid of war heroes or spectacular military careers.

    Bush senior and John F Kennedy had respectable war records. Perhaps you don’t think so or perhaps you are young.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    , @dearieme
  37. @NickG

    I don’t know how old you are, but George McGovern had an outstanding WWII record as a bomber pilot. He didn’t talk about it much, though.

    • Replies: @donvonburg
  38. anon[423] • Disclaimer says:

    All the candidates for President–in my voting lifetime–have been devoid of war heroes or spectacular military careers.

    Maybe you weren’t voting in 1996, that’s ok.

    Republican candidate Bob Dole (1996). Served in the 10th Mountain division fighting actual Nazis. Wounded in Italy by machinegun fire in 1945.

    We could discuss John McCain (2008) but his military career is…problematic.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    , @Old Prude
  39. @anon

    Bob Dole was in and out of the hospital for 4 years after WWII. He almost died in the late 1940s of his wounds and his right arm never worked again.

    • Replies: @donvonburg
  40. anon[136] • Disclaimer says:

    Yeah but we can cut Indy some slack, he’s just a mild-mannered archaeologist after all

  41. @Steve Sailer

    I have sympathy for Bob as a person but I voted against him every opportunity I had to do so.

    He was an all too typical “seniority/sympathy senator” and was mostly good for pork barrel status quo politics. And he was nominated by the GOP knowing full well that he was unelectable at a time we needed that sleazy smirking rotten creep Clinton out of there. People his own age correctly thought he was too old and incapable of the rigors of the presidency. I did not cast a ballot for President but I voted in all the other races on the ballot that year.

    When I was a teenager, my mom put up a poster in my bedroom that at the time I resented. It was called the “Teen Creed”.

    Don’t let your parents down
    They brought you up

    Be humble enough to obey
    You may give orders someday

    Choose companions with care
    You become what they are

    Guard your thoughts
    What you think, you are

    Choose only a date,
    Who would make a good mate

    Be master of your habits
    Or they will master you

    Don’t be a show off when you drive,
    Drive with safety and arrive

    Don’t let the crowd pressure you,
    Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.

    I resented that stuff about “choose only a date who would make a good mate”. I felt like I should be able to go out with the bad girls since they were more fun. We all know what the purpose of that was when this was written, of course.

    Well, I understand that now.

    On the same principle, I say: Choose only a Senator who would make a good President. Because you may have to elect them.

  42. @Steve Sailer

    George was a decent human being but would have been a terrible choice for President.

    • Replies: @dearieme
  43. Old Prude says:

    My impression of King David from my last time through the Bible was that he was pretty good at the Goliath thing, but after becoming King he killed another guy to get his wife, then his son kicked him off the throne and took his women while he moped around outside the palace whining. The real mensch of the story was David’s captain, I don’t recall his name, and don’t have time to look it up – I have to get out and plow some snow.

    Shepherd David: Impressive Young Man.

    King David: Disolute Whiner. Meh….

    • Replies: @kaganovitch
    , @Anonymous
  44. dearieme says:

    Respectable? The only US motorboat skipper to get his craft rammed and sunk by the enemy?

    • Replies: @Hibernian
  45. dearieme says:

    McGovern was the blithering idiot who promoted US government food propaganda urging the population to eschew animal fats and chew carbohydrates instead. God knows how many millions of years of life he cost the US population.

  46. Pericles says:

    David volunteered to do unequal battle with Goliath, and went on to a spectacular military career…

    Oy vey, who came up with this? Also, the US is freaking obviously Goliath in any conflict. Please, let’s not torture words and reason any further.

    Trump, by contrast, is most emphatically not a war hero.

    Well no, Trump is a peace maker.

  47. @Old Prude

    The real mensch of the story was David’s captain, I don’t recall his name, and don’t have time to look it up – I have to get out and plow some snow.

    You are referring to Yoav ben Tzruya (Joab), one of the more tragic figures in the Bible.

    • Replies: @Old Prude
  48. Old Prude says:

    Notice how America treats it “war heroes” when they run for president/vice president. Navy combat veteran Bush was discarded for dope-smoking draft dodging Clinton (let’s not even discuss the mockery to which Stockdale was subject in that election).

    Combat veteran Dole was wiped out by dope-smoking, draft dodging Clinton.

    Vietnam veteran (he would have us believe) Gore lost to coke-snorting draft dodging W (and Cheney).

    Vietnam hero (he would have us believe) Kerry lost to the same coke-head and draft dodger and his stooge.

    Vietnam hero (he would have us believe) McCain lost to a narcissistic affirmative-action hire.

    2012 Punt.

    2016 Liberator of Libya lost to draft dodging, p****y-grabbing Trump. (Webb, a decorated combat Marine was ignored).

    The trends indicate King David would lose to Trump in a general election.

    (I guffaw at this war hero crap the liberals like to pull out when it conveniences them. Hitler and Goering were decorated war heroes. So…..?)

  49. Old Prude says:

    Yes, Joab. That’s the guy. Like I said, he’s the only fellow one can respect out of the story: David, as King, comes across as deeply flawed and weak and self-centered, saved time and again by the exertions of Joab. David’s son is even worse: A really nasty piece of work.

    Trump’s children are much superior to King David’s.

  50. @Forbes

    What exactly would be a “spectacular” military career — going far abroad to bravely kill people who haven’t attacked us and pose no serious threat to us? Because that’s what the US government’s wars have been in my lifetime and much longer.

    If we had a candidate who fought in the American revolution or the War of 1812, alright, I’d consider that a plus. Biden and Sanders were around then, I think, but not in the military.

    • LOL: Hibernian
    • Replies: @Anon
    , @Old Prude
  51. I have never heard of any such comparison, however, I have heard this,

    “ome avowedly pious men and women have, of late, explained their support of President Donald Trump by citing the example of King David, a sinner whom the Lord used for his purposes, and whose faults—crimes, even—were redeemed by the good he did. According to this line of thinking advanced by politicians, activists, and even clerics of different hues, Trump may have wandered far from the straight path, but he is nonetheless doing God’s work.”

    and it was first made during the campaign. It has nothing to do with the embodiment of king david as metaphor oe anything even close to real life comparison of king David himself.

    It is soley a reference to something most people of faith believe about some leaders, that they are chosen to fulfill some specific work. The reference is so common place as to be just above mundane. Saul, and the linage of kings that followed were to be selected by a process ordained by God. But Samual made it clear that the idea of a king as ruler was a bad idea and made references to the kingships and their failings, still the people wanted a King, so the first king was Saul and then David was chosen.

    If one considers the unliklihood of the election of nominee Trump against all of the odds, then it is not unreasonable to make a case that inspite of the odds — something supernatural overcame them – hence the contend — Pres. Trump was chosen by God.

    The danger posed as has become evident that his selection has some unique purpose for jews or Israel— Hmmmm . . . it would not be to subvert justice. More importantly, the election of Pres. trump has not helped bring about a renewal to the very heart of judaic belief rooted in the Torah. Prs. Trump was elected as the president of the US, not Israel and there’s no reason to assume that his foreign policy that seems to override what is best for the US is part of God’s plan, especially when it subverts the very nature of god himself.

    but in either case, the reference in the Atlantic is an incorrect appropriation of what it means to be selected by God to accomplish some task.

    Selected by god to the boundaries of the US. And govern the history of US policy towards Israel historically, there is no reason to think any other president would have failed to support Israel.


    Sidenote: it cannot be stressed enough that those selected have often failed —- whether Kings, prophets or chosen to bring Jews to the promised land.

    And successes made rather gruesome physical ends: Christ.

  52. “Trump’s children are much superior to King David’s.”

    Though that is based on the incorrect analysis in the Atlantic article, if one wanted to make that false comparison then,

    I am not sure there are any Solomon’s in the lot — no offense to the president’s children.

  53. 2019: Small hat wearers state with lots of sound fury (signifying nothing) that [SPOILER ALERT] orange man bad! Why. Do. They. Hate. Him. Sooooooo. Muchhhhhhh?

  54. Anon[930] • Disclaimer says:

    the War of 1812

    What the heck, Canada had every right to repel our stupid invasion.

  55. BADmejr says:

    I’m surprised one Jew is promoting another Jew’s work as just the greatest thing ever. It is so rare.

  56. Jaypo says:

    He’s no David, he’s King Cyrus. The Sanhedrin minted a coin with Trump’s image on it:

  57. Hibernian says:

    There was one other PT skipper whose boat was rammed by the Japanese.

  58. Anonymous[257] • Disclaimer says:
    @Old Prude

    Sunday school is porn and sadism for children.
    The OT is mostly disobeying the Ten Commandments.

    • Replies: @Old Prude
  59. Old Prude says:

    Every time I read the Old Testement with its Sex and Graphic Violence, I keep thinking “They never taught me about THAT part in Sunday School!”

    • Replies: @Anonymous
  60. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:
    @Old Prude

    Indeed, early Atheists like Ingersoll condemned the Bible on the grounds that it was plainly lewd in places, and that if any other book said what it said it would be properly banished as abject smut.

    Ezekiel 23:11–21
    English Standard Version

    11 a“Her sister Oholibah saw this, and she became more corrupt than her sister2 in her lust and in her whoring, which was worse than that of her sister. 12 She lusted after the Assyrians, governors and commanders, warriors clothed in full armor, horsemen riding on horses, all of them desirable young men. 13 And I saw that she was defiled; they both took the same way. 14 But she carried her whoring further. She saw men portrayed on the wall, the images of the Chaldeans portrayed in vermilion, 15 wearing belts on their waists, with flowing turbans on their heads, all of them having the appearance of officers, a likeness of Babylonians whose native land was Chaldea. 16 When she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoring lust. And after she was defiled by them, she turned from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister. Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. 21 Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts.”

    For all you enthusiasts of this sort of thing, I recommend

    The X-Rated Bible
    An Irreverent Survey of Sex in the Scriptures
    Ben Edward Akerley

    That’s right, friends. We’re talking about the Holy Bible, a book filled with incest, rape, adultery, exhibitionism, debauchery, abortion, prostitution, drugs, bestiality, castration, scatology—all the nasty stuff!

    First published to national religious nausea in 1985, this expanded edition of The X-Rated Bible excerpts and explains many of the weird dirty stories found in the Holy Writ. Now you know!
    6 x 9 | 245 Pages | ISBN: 0-922915-55-5

    • Replies: @Anon
  61. Anon[930] • Disclaimer says:

    Well, that’s funny, I don’t see atheists at the head of any other movements to ban smut. Curious, isn’t it?

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