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From the short story “The Toys of Peace” by Saki (H.H. Munro, 1870-1916):

“Harvey,” said Eleanor Bope, handing her brother a cutting from a London morning paper of the 19th of March, “just read this about children’s toys, please; it exactly carries out some of our ideas about influence and upbringing.”

“In the view of the National Peace Council,” ran the extract, “there are grave objections to presenting our boys with regiments of fighting men, batteries of guns, and squadrons of ‘Dreadnoughts.'”

… On Easter Saturday Harvey Bope unpacked a large, promising-looking red cardboard box under the expectant eyes of his nephews. “Your uncle has brought you the newest thing in toys,” Eleanor had said impressively, and youthful anticipation had been anxiously divided between Albanian soldiery and a Somali camel-corps. Eric was hotly in favour of the latter contingency. “There would be Arabs on horseback,” he whispered; “the Albanians have got jolly uniforms, and they fight all day long, and all night, too, when there’s a moon, but the country’s rocky, so they’ve got no cavalry.” …

In an awful silence he disinterred a little lead figure of a man in black clothes.

“That,” he said, “is a distinguished civilian, John Stuart Mill. He was an authority on political economy.”

“Why?” asked Bertie.

“Well, he wanted to be; he thought it was a useful thing to be.”

Bertie gave an expressive grunt, which conveyed his opinion that there was no accounting for tastes.

Another square building came out, this time with windows and chimneys.

“A model of the Manchester branch of the Young Women’s Christian Association,” said Harvey.

“Are there any lions?” asked Eric hopefully. He had been reading Roman history and thought that where you found Christians you might reasonably expect to find a few lions.

“There are no lions,” said Harvey. …

“Are we to play with these civilian figures?” asked Eric.

“Of course,” said Harvey, “these are toys; they are meant to be played with.”

“But how?”

It was rather a poser. “You might make two of them contest a seat in Parliament,” said Harvey, “and have an election –”

“With rotten eggs, and free fights, and ever so many broken heads!” exclaimed Eric.

“And noses all bleeding and everybody drunk as can be,” echoed Bertie, who had carefully studied one of Hogarth’s pictures.

“Nothing of the kind,” said Harvey, “nothing in the least like that. Votes will be put in the ballot-box, and the Mayor will count them — and he will say which has received the most votes, and then the two candidates will thank him for presiding, and each will say that the contest has been conducted throughout in the pleasantest and most straightforward fashion, and they part with expressions of mutual esteem. There’s a jolly game for you boys to play. I never had such toys when I was young.” …

By the way, Adrianople (formerly Hadrianopolis, now Edirne in European Turkey) may be history’s most contested city. Northwest of Constantinople, it the place you have to fight through to take Constantinople from the land. I can recall John Keegan citing 15 battles of Adrianople. This one was in 1912-1913 when the Bulgarians took the city from the Ottomans.

 
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  1. and when I heard them one day using what seemed to be the most objectionable language they said it was Bulgarian words of command; of course it may have been, but at any rate I took the toy away from them.

    We all know what wonderful English vulgarianism derives from “Bulgarian”.

    …A Somali camel-corps.

    Richard Burton introduced a “Somali camel-corps” to the 1001 Arabian Nights. They were enchanted.

    Which language he so regaled them with I don’t know. But it’s interesting that they would hear this from an Englishman, rather than any of the many Arabs they’d have encountered over the centuries.

    What eventually became Italian Somaliland and later most of Somalia was part of the Omani Empire for some time, as was Freddie Mercury’s native Zanzibar. The British gained control of that in history’s shortest war (38 minutes) and installed as sultan Hamoud bin Mohammed, who is not to be confused with Hamad bin Muhammad, aka Tippu Tip, the notorious slave trader active in the area at the same time.

    Both died in Stone Town, three years apart. That’s where Freddie was born.

    • Replies: @reactionry
    , @JMcG
  2. This story is from 1913. If it were set five years later, perhaps the pacifist parents would seem more sympathetic characters?

  3. Even funnier than this is Bernard Shaw’s “The Admirable Bashville”, in which anemic Marquess of Queensberry style fair-play rules of boxing are explained to a visiting Zulu chieftain, who cannot bring himself to understand why nobody dies in the bout.

    • Replies: @The Alarmist
  4. Kronos says:

    “In the view of the National Peace Council,” ran the extract, “there are grave objections to presenting our boys with regiments of fighting men, batteries of guns, and squadrons of ‘Dreadnoughts.’”

    To this day, people advocate for fat Barbie and such based on “behavioral imprinting.” But it’s my understanding that such things as personality, interests, IQ, and sexual orientation are overwhelmingly genetic in origin. Perhaps we’ll always have the company of B.F. Skinner for ever and ever.

    *From John Horgan*

    https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/cross-check/why-b-f-skinner-like-freud-still-isnt-dead/

    “A corollary of my thesis is that psychological paradigms never really die; they just go in and out of fashion. Their creators endure too, neither dead nor alive but undead, like zombies or vampires.”

    • Replies: @bomag
    , @Alden
  5. Kronos says:
    @al gore rhythms

    They’d likely would’ve been imprisoned for protesting the war like Bertrand Russell.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_of_the_Realm_Act_1914

  6. All those kids need to make those gifts work is a wild-eyed anarchist with a bomb.

    • LOL: fish
  7. Lot says:

    When I was 10 to 13 I re-enacted battles with nuts and M&Ms. When a cohort was defeated I would eat it. The most common opponents were Scipio v Hannibal.

    • Replies: @Alden
  8. Anon[294] • Disclaimer says:

    OT

    Lots of funny tweets being surfaced after the implosion of Express Lane-gate.

    Apparently, using the divider on a conveyor belt at the market is white and racist. I’m trying to figure out the reason. Some possibilities I teased out of various tweets:

    — One tweet equates it with segregation.

    — One black guy from Chicago says it isn’t necessary between black and white shoppers, because they eat completely different food, which the check-out person will recognize. His example: white Wonder bread for whites. Personally, the only place I’ve ever eaten Wonder bread is at black ‘cue joints. I always think, can’t they use decent rolls or something? White people are more into bakery baguettes or multi-grain.

    — There seems to also be a hope of getting a food jackpot when the cashier puts some of your stuff on a white person’s total, as though the white person is just going to pay it and let you have the food. This may be an example of black thinking that every situation is a potential screamfest argument, and there is small chance they can wear out or intimidate the white person, and also jibes with welfare mentality.

    — Some tweets imply that it’s not so much the use of the dividers, but the particular way that they are inserted: the angle of the fingers, the subtle facial expression of the shopper, that sends a very strong message of witchcraft voodoo implicit bias. It’s everywhere! (Admittedly, the use of dividers may coincide with the white shopper getting a close look or whiff of a black woman’s hair, resulting in a visible reaction.) Also, blacks may assume that white people do not use dividers if the prior person is white, which shows a lack of simple observation and the tendancy to easily buy into make-believe and conspiracies.

  9. Adrianopolous is where Roman Emperor Valens was killed by the Goths in what was essentially a failed attempt to stem the tide of mass Gothic immigration that the Roman elite up until recently welcomed to help stabilise and strengthen the Empire. It marked the beginning of the end of the Western Roman Empire.

  10. @Reg Cæsar

    OT

    “Boys” & The Size of Their “Annatomically Correct” Toys?

    Edward Rice mentions in his book on Burton that his (Burton’s) wife somehow came out with a “family” [!] version of “The Arabian Nights.” R.B. describes widespread venereal disease in Africa – which is an excuse for penning an absurd, “A night with Venus; a life time with [Freddie] Mercury.”

    Something “Tiny Duck” might like:
    Page 459 (Chapter 29 Arabian Nights) –
    “…he [Burton] becomes involved in a type of bawdiness that is unpleasant, even offensive. ‘Debauched women prefer negroes on account of the size of their parts,’ he wrote on page six of the first volume. ‘I measured one man in Somaliland who, when quiescent, numbered nearly six inches…These imposing parts do not increase proportionately during erection..[jeepers, how would Burton know??]..In my time no honest Hindi Moslem would take his women folk to Zanzibar on account of the huge attractions and enormous temptations there and thereby offered to them.’ ”

    Burton apparently does not tell us what he considered to be a “proportionate response.” Doubling? Tripling? Quadrupling? Perhaps iSteve commenter BigDickNick (not to be confused with, say, some victim of a clumsy moyel -some BigNickDick) could reach Ilhan Omar’s brother (spouse?) for comment or show-and-tell.

    Also see: ” ‘With rotten eggs and free fights and ever so many broken heads!’ exclaimed Eric.”
    Golly – sounds like a helluva’ “rotten borough!”

    [yeah, we all know it means a district with few voters]

    • Replies: @SunBakedSuburb
  11. guest says:
    @al gore rhythms

    Depends. Because there are countless ways to be stupidly pacifistic, even in the midst of a ruinous and unnecessary war.

  12. @Anon

    Wonder Bread is White Soul Food.

    • Replies: @Bill Jones
    , @Reg Cæsar
  13. KunioKun says:

    One possible “out” for the pickle we are in is to get behind a bunch of George Carlin-like pissed off people to get really mad and mock all the busy bodies. That might let us kick the can down the road for a little while. However, I suspect far too many young people understand that the new Americans wont stop until they are picking our brains out of our skulls for food, so little innovations like Peter Thiel’s the other day or tossing out the women’s busy body league probably isn’t going to make a difference.

  14. guest says:

    I balk at the suggestion that progressives value democratic elections. For what if the electorate picks the wrong people?

    More representative, I think, is 1912’s Philip Dru: Administrator. Which portrays a benevolent dictatorship installed after violent civil war.

  15. Coemgen says:
    @al gore rhythms

    Pacifism goeth before a war.

    • Replies: @El Dato
  16. Altai says:

    In that vein.

    I guess nobody told the masses of the world who found the moon landing as quite benign and not threatening at all. And all this time I thought colonialism was bad because some other people came and told the natives the land was theirs now turns out planting a flag on a barren moon is genocide now. There’s lots of footage from Japan, a country only 25 years off the atomic bomb cheering and US reporters on the streets of St. Petersburg interviewing Soviet citizens who don’t seem the least afraid.

    Also ubiquitous use of ‘fear’, which in-spite of their full-on nervous breakdowns since November 2016, SJWs and the upper-middle classes have been having, is still an absolute negative that only ever serves to inspire their opponents.

    In truth the 50th anniversary of the moon landing falls poorly due to the fact that further progress has been very muted and that country that did it really just doesn’t exist anymore. In 1969 it was already on it’s way to demographic annihilation in the cities without any additional immigration.

  17. Saki’s powers of writing need no accompanying illustrations, but here goes, anyway.

  18. @The Germ Theory of Disease

    … Marquess of Queensberry style fair-play rules of boxing are explained to a visiting Zulu chieftain, who cannot bring himself to understand why nobody dies in the bout.

    Because there is no honour among gentlemen.

  19. JMcG says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    Best comment section on the Internet. Not even close.

  20. JMcG says:
    @Anon

    There’s a black guy I know who puts either a pork chop or a chicken leg between two slices of wonderbread and then reduces the resulting sandwich to nothing but gleaming bones, the likes of which I’ve only ever seen in prestigious museums of natural history. Then he throws the bones out of his truck window.

    • Replies: @Anonymous
  21. @Anon

    Odd – in the UK – or at least in the Brit zones that I inhabit, a mixture of Brit/Pole/Pakistani Muslim – people of all groups thank you when you put the divider down or slide them up to the back of the queue. And when I arrive at the queue tail with only a couple of items, the Muslim lady with a full load of shopping for four kids will sometimes wave me through in front of her.

  22. Joke was kind of on Saki, since he subsequently died in perhaps the stupidest and most unnecessary war Britain ever fought. Credit to him for living up to his convictions though – he volunteered to go to war at age 43.

    He was also homosexual, some of his contempt for pacifists seems to have been rooted in his dislike of women in general.

  23. @The Alarmist

    There was a Brit equivalent who hired Saxon warriors, who liked the place so much they stayed and invited all their friends.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vortigern

    “He may have been the “superbus tyrannus” said to have invited Hengist and Horsa to aid him in fighting the Picts and the Scots. However, they revolted, killing his son in the process and forming the Kingdom of Kent. It is said that he took refuge in North Wales, and that his grave was in Dyfed or the Llŷn Peninsula. Gildas later denigrated Vortigern for his misjudgement and also blamed him for the loss of Britain.”

    And an Irish equivalent, who brought Norman mercenaries in and the usual pattern followed.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diarmait_Mac_Murchada#Exile_and_return

    The High King deposed Mac Murchada from the throne of Leinster. Mac Murchada fled to Wales and from there to England and France seeking the support of Henry II of England in the recruitment of soldiers to reclaim his kingship. Henry authorised Diarmait to seek help from the soldiers and mercenaries in his kingdom. Those who agreed to help included Richard de Clare and half-brothers Robert Fitz-Stephen and Maurice FitzGerald. Robert was accompanied by his half-nephew Robert de Barry. Strongbow was offered Diarmait’s daughter Aoife in marriage and promised the kingship of Leinster on Diarmait’s death. Robert and Maurice were promised lands in Wexford and elsewhere for their services. In Mac Murchada’s absence, Ruaidrí Ua Conchobair had become the new King of Ireland.

    On returning to Wales, Robert Fitz-Stephen helped him organise a mercenary army of English and Welsh soldiers. Landing at Bannow Bay, they laid siege to Wexford which fell in May 1169. After a period of inactivity, they went on to raid the Kingdom of Ossory. They then launched raids in the territories of the Uí Tuathail, the Uí Broin, and Uí Conchobhair Failghe… In Irish history books written after 1800, Diarmait Mac Murchada was often seen as a traitor, but his intention was not to aid an English invasion of Ireland, but rather to use Henry’s assistance to become the High King of Ireland himself… the adventurers who answered Diarmait’s call for help were reacting to the opportunity for land and wealth.

  24. @Peter Akuleyev

    Yet despite these crippling flaws he was undoubtedly the finest short story writer ever, in English.

    Not bad for a Burmese.

  25. bomag says:
    @Kronos

    Perhaps we’ll always have the company of B.F. Skinner for ever and ever.

    Skinner was a progressive; part of the Enlightenment push back against aristocracy (“all men are created equal”). Instead of accepting that the lord was greater than the serf by birth, or industrialist greater than the worker by birth, it was a matter of training.

    Steve has noted that Cyril Burt was lauded for his IQ work because it allowed the identification of lower class kids who belonged in the upper class, thus taking the wind out of the aristocrat’s sails. Now IQ is denounced because it did not take away upper class stuff fast enough, so progressives are on to something else.

    Later on Skinner was considered a conservative in the field, pushing the notion of hard work and effort as a way to get ahead, instead of taking a pill or spooling up a narrative of victimhood.

    I like the obligatory quote from Chomsky:

    Children, Chomsky wrote, “generalize, hypothesize, and ‘process information’ in a variety of very special and apparently highly complex ways which we cannot yet describe or begin to understand, and which may be largely innate, or may develop through some sort of learning or through maturation of the nervous system. The manner in which such factors operate and interact in language acquisition is completely unknown.”

    LOL We can’t know this stuff, so shut up and do as you’re told, even if it’s court mandated sex change for your kid.

    • Replies: @Kronos
  26. Old Prude says:
    @Anon

    To the extent the divider is a form of voluntary courtesy and empathy for a stranger (the person behind you in line), it is, indeed, a very white thing.

  27. El Dato says:
    @Anon

    Dividers are made from compressed magic dirt.

  28. El Dato says:
    @Coemgen

    So does Basil Zaharoff

    Mysterious indeed he is and still more mysterious he became at the hands of the sensational news portrait painters. The mystery begins with his birth. A French biographer, Roger Menevee, records that he was born in Moughliou, or Mugla, on the Anatolian coast. But a German, Robert Neumann, asserts that Zaharoff, testifying in a London court as a young man, said he was born in the Tatavla or poor section of Constantinople, and he notes that the Mugla nativity is attested by an affidavit of a Greek priest made forty-two years after the event and was based upon memory.

    It was never known with complete certainty to what country he owed allegiance. He was a Greek, born in Turkey, who lived in Paris. His right to the ribbon of the Grand Cross of the Legion of Honor was questioned in the Chamber of Deputies and M. Clemenceau had to assure the Chamber that “M. Zaharoff is a Frenchman.” But also he was throughout his life the guiding genius of a great British armament concern, acted as a British agent, was a Knight of the Bath, known in England as Sir Basil Zaharoff.

  29. El Dato says:
    @Altai

    That glorious steam locomotive feel.

  30. Around the same time I gave my daughter a tool set for Christmas and made her cry, I helped with Project Head Start in our tiny Tennessee town. Toy guns were forbidden, even back then, but I watched a little kid get around that by finding a bunch of red kerchiefs and carefully tying them to his legs for holsters, then using wooden blocks as guns. Instant gunslinger! I don’t think anybody stopped him, either, but they would now.

  31. The problem with saki is that its profile has been unduly influenced by the wine trade. Just this weekend, I dined in a small establishment run by a chef who used to work in Kyoto’s Gion district. He was attempting to introduce global modernist cuisine by, for examplw, replacing the quasi-traditional peach sherbet dessert with a peach sherbet sprinkled with Japanese pepper flakes and sandwiched between two crusts made from goat’s milk. His “saki” was too dry, but not dry in the traditional Japanese manner, meaning slightly hot, but dry in the western manner meaning astringent. Dry and clean but with the rice transparent. This is not how saki should be!! Evdn his “sweetest”, CEL-24, was trending sour… For (((G-d’s))) sake!!! Use a traditional production method!!

  32. Mr. Anon says:

    And yet Saki was ultimately killed by the German’s “toys of war”.

  33. @Redneck farmer

    Wonderbread was sold to blacks as the bread whites ate (therefore superior)

  34. dearieme says:
    @Peter Akuleyev

    Is there a vocabulary that distinguishes homosexuals who dislike women from those who don’t?

  35. @The Alarmist

    Adrianopolous [sic] is where Roman Emperor Valens was killed…

    So Clear Lake, Iowa is our Adrianopolis?

    • Replies: @The Alarmist
  36. Dmon says:
    @The Alarmist

    Those Goths were just doing the jobs Romans wouldn’t do.

    • Replies: @The Alarmist
  37. @Redneck farmer

    Wonder Bread is White Soul Food.

    Whites are the demographic that keeps the bread aisle brown. Whole wheat is wholly white.

    • Agree: Carol
    • LOL: The Alarmist
    • Replies: @El Dato
    , @Alden
  38. 68W58 says:
    @Peter Akuleyev

    According to Wikipedia he turned down a commission to enlist, which is also admirable. Without the British I doubt the French would have stood much of a chance against the Germans, and you have to wonder if Europe would not have been better off if it had been spared the prolonged bloodshed, but the Brits were doing what they had always done-try to prevent the rise of a continental power that might threaten them. Maybe their reasoning was faulty, but I think I understand what motivated them at least.

    • Replies: @Alden
  39. ricpic says:

    Do gooders are the worst.

  40. A Helen Andrews essay I read about John Stuart Mill the Man prompts the thought that the set needs a miniature wife, previously his married mistress, and the children can play at “Steadfast Tin Cuckolds” and tormenting everyone in the couple’s social circle.

  41. Escher says:

    I sent the link to my wife. Hopefully she reads it, and then understands a little why out sons like to watch car crashes on TV instead of “Frozen”.

  42. J.Ross says:

    A toy of the guy who wrote On Utilitarianism is sublime.

  43. J.Ross says:
    @Peter Akuleyev

    I don’t think you have to be gay to be disgusted by a Sheila Broflofsky who’s not even Jewish.

  44. J.Ross says:
    @Altai

    If I was a cynical person I would expect that journalists had a sort of Procrustean template in which literally anything would be shown to reveal the tangled heritage of privilege and colonialism.
    ——-
    The other day a local radio program promised to discuss how the real thing plaguing blacks in the ghetto was the role of systemic white racism in climate change, and that climate change was causing blacks emotional distress. They did not pad it with a sample of Ludakris rapping “check out the oil my Cadillac spills.”

  45. That kid wasn’t excited to receive a John Stuart Mill action figure?!? What a miserable ingrate!

  46. syonredux says:
    @al gore rhythms

    Dunno. Saki was deeply worried about national fitness (as in fit for military service) in Britain, and even wrote an “Invasion”* novel depicting a subjugated UK, When William Came:

    The “William” of the book’s title is Kaiser Wilhelm II of the House of Hohenzollern. The book chronicles life in London under German occupation and the changes that come with a foreign army’s invasion and triumph. Like Robert Erskine Childers’s novel The Riddle of the Sands (1903), it predicts the Great War (in which Saki would be killed)[4] and is an example of invasion literature, a literary genre which flourished at the beginning of the 20th century as tensions between the European great powers increased.[5][6]

    Much of the book is an argument for compulsory military service,[7] about which there was then a major controversy. The scene in which an Imperial Rescript is announced in a subjugated London, excusing the unmilitary British from serving in the Kaiser’s armies, is particularly bitter. There are also several vignettes exemplifying the differences between the English and continental systems of law – Yeovil’s wife informs him that she must register his presence with the police and later he is fined on the spot for walking on the grass in Hyde Park. In another episode, he finds himself unintentionally but unavoidably fraternising with one of the invaders.[8]

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_William_Came

    *A very popular genre in Britain :

    Invasion literature (also the invasion novel) is a literary genre that was popular in the period between 1871 and the First World War (1914–1918). The invasion novel first was recognized as a literary genre in the UK, with the novella The Battle of Dorking: Reminiscences of a Volunteer (1871), an account of a German invasion of England, which, in the Western world, aroused the national imaginations and anxieties about hypothetical invasions by foreign powers; by 1914 the genre of invasion literature comprised more than 400 novels and stories.[1]

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_literature

    • Replies: @Alden
    , @guest
  47. syonredux says:
    @Peter Akuleyev

    Joke was kind of on Saki, since he subsequently died in perhaps the stupidest and most unnecessary war Britain ever fought.

    To be fair, the Germans were even stupider….

    • Replies: @El Dato
  48. It didn’t take you long to go from Kipling to Saki, Mr Steve. I studied their works at school when I was a boy ( 1970s ). In today’s dumbed down, politically correct era, I doubt they are studied outside a few private schools.
    In the last years of his life, fans would repeatedly ask Orson Welles when he was going to complete his film about Don Quixote. I do hope you have many years ahead of you, Mr Steve, but this is an early request. When are you going to publish that book on Kipling ?
    PS After Welles’ death, several fragments of his film Don Quixote appeared, I believe. But it was Don Quixote in modern dress, with cars and suchlike. I trust you to give Kipling the full sola topi.

  49. El Dato says:
    @syonredux

    “Packed in this footlocker”.

    … after usage.

    The modern version would be this:

  50. syonredux says:

    They should have gone for a train set…..

    • Replies: @Alden
    , @Autochthon
  51. El Dato says:
    @syonredux

    It was the only card they could play. Strike France then strike Russia before the two-front war squashed you like a bug.

    But then they found out that tech had changed the battlefield sordidly.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  52. El Dato says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    White bread is disgust. Might as well eat sugar.

    And people complain about acne…

  53. J.Ross says:
    @syonredux

    >waves and wacs
    So the original green plastic army men included females and the modern do not?
    >marksmen and sharpshooters
    But no experts. Must be great detailing if you can see their badges.

  54. @Reg Cæsar

    Wouldn’t it have been thrice as bad?

    BTW, pardon my mangled spelling … must have been thinking of George.

  55. a reader says:

    Even baboons would have reacted the same way.

  56. Alden says:

    Boys will be boys and girls will be girls. I remember when I first realized one of the boys was a man. They were 16 months old. One was still asleep one was awake and playing in the living room. It was the morning of Christmas Eve.

    A friend bought a motor bike for his son and stored it in our garage. He came to pick it up Christmas Eve morning. That baby heard the first motor bike noises. And ran through the kitchen to the garage door so eager was he to find the source of the thrilling motor bike noise.

    First time I ever saw him run. I picked him up and brought him to the source if his delight and put him in the bike. He was just thrilled.

    There’s great pictures of each of the boys on my brothers motorcycle. They were about 2 1/2 or 3 in the drivers seat bent over the handle bars.

    Boys are boys and girls are girls

  57. Alden says:
    @syonredux

    I loved train sets Lincoln logs ( the big set) and doll houses. Any little world I could make my own.

  58. Alden says:
    @syonredux

    I’ve read a few of the English spies in 1900 England stories Childers Buchanan Drummond good reads, great plots.

    • Replies: @dfordoom
  59. Alden says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    All bread is fattening carbs. Plain white bread is the lowest calorie per slice. Whole wheat whole grain and multigrain bread are delicious because they all have sugar added. Even some rye bread has sugar added which ruins the taste.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  60. Alden says:
    @Kronos

    Little girls really do go beserk over Barbies. I was a teen ager when they came out but I remember my much younger sisters their friends and all the 3 year olds I baby sat for rejecting all other dolls and going nuts over barbies.

    I bought 4 plastic machine guns for the kids one year. There was a trigger that pulled something and a big rattling grrrrrrr sound. After a few days they all ignored the guns. I was disappointed. It was the height of the no guns for boys as it will turn them into murderers or something.

    • Replies: @Kronos
  61. @syonredux

    Above-ground trains are racist!

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  62. Little Bertie’s “Why?” must be both the funniest and the most profound query in the whole of English literature.

    Why indeed; why any of it.

  63. guest says:
    @Altai

    Hol up. We colonized the moon? Where do I get my ticket?

    • Replies: @SunBakedSuburb
  64. guest says:
    @syonredux

    I have an amusing collection of short stories called the Next Great War, which takes a sci-fi spin on invasion literature from about the Franco-Prussian War to the outbreak of WWI. Meaning secret tunnels and submarines, hot air balloons and poison gas.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  65. Dube says:
    @Anon

    Preach this at the check-out counter when considering the dividers:

    “The first man who, having fenced in a piece of land, said “This is mine,” and found people naïve enough to believe him, that man was the true founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.” – Rousseau.

    • Replies: @Alden
  66. Dube says:
    @Anon

    Preach this at the check-out counter when considering the dividers:

    “The first man who, having fenced in a piece of land, said “This is mine,” and found people naïve enough to believe him, that man was the true founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.” – Rousseau.

    • Replies: @Cortes
  67. Kronos says:
    @Alden

    But do you actually think regular Barbie vs fat Barbie would unconsciously imprint children? By their logic fat Barbie will make little girls fat (chunky monkeys) while skinny Barbie makes then anorexic and/or bulimic.

  68. @Alden

    Bread is simply solid beer. Don’t get all Prohibitionist on us.

    Bran helps push the carbs through faster. And the fat and the protein as well.

  69. @Autochthon

    Above-ground trains are racist!

    Only on the surface.

    Still, it’s hard to keep track. Or make the grade.

    I’d add something about monorails, but have run out of one-liners.

    • LOL: Tex
  70. syonredux says:
    @guest

    Some of the Future War/Invasion lit produced in the 1890-1914 period was clearly lunatic. Take, for example, MP Shiel’s 1898 The Yellow Danger, where Britain conquers China after killing tens of millions of Chinese via the bubonic plague. Then there’s George Griffith’s berserk Angel of the Revolution (1893) and Olga Romanoff(1894), which depict an Anglo-Saxon Federation (Initially led by a rabidly anti-Russian Jew who goes under the nom de guerre “Natas”) conquering the world via air-power . And they call themselves the “Aerians” ……The illustrations are pretty nifty…

    • Replies: @guest
  71. syonredux says:
    @El Dato

    It was the only card they could play.

    There was the “not playing” option…..

    • Replies: @byrresheim
  72. guest says:
    @syonredux

    Aerians. Neo-nazis could have fun with that. Their patron saint would be “Sky King.”

  73. @reactionry

    I’ve got penis on the brain from reading your comment. Thanks.

  74. @guest

    The Mormons closed the moon on June 16th 1978.

  75. dfordoom says: • Website
    @Alden

    I’ve read a few of the English spies in 1900 England stories Childers Buchanan Drummond good reads, great plots.

    Erskine Childers is interesting. Wrote a book warning about the danger of German invasion, became an Irish revolutionary and was executed in 1922.

    • Replies: @Alden
  76. @YetAnotherAnon

    Least she can do, to thank you for handing over your country to her children without a single shot.

  77. @Bill Jones

    “undoubtedly the finest short story writer ever, in English”

    ‘undoubtedly’ is an awfully big word, hoss.

    Sounds like somebody’s never met Frank O’Connor. Or Chaucer.

    • Replies: @Bill Jones
  78. Kronos says:
    @bomag

    The thing is, he welded behavioralism onto the American Left’s psyche. Everyone (especially geneticists) have been suffering ever since.

    • Replies: @bomag
  79. Alden says:
    @68W58

    My opinion is that the English used their “preserve freedom in Europe by forming coalitions to attack the strongest power” as an excuse to loot and plunder for 800 years.

    • Replies: @Old Palo Altan
    , @68W58
  80. Alden says:
    @dfordoom

    Didn’t know they were the same person.

  81. @Alden

    Of course. Their ruling class is, and remains to this day, Norman. The greatest and most ruthless conquerors that we in the West have ever endured. Normandy under their boot, then England, then Scotland (the old aristocracy is mostly Norman, not Celtic), then Ireland, then Sicily.

    As their base was Normandy, the Continent remained of interest. Once, after hundreds of years of wars and plots, France was finally subdued in 1815, a new enemy arose: the Germanies. Once these were united and put under the vigorous leadership of the Hohenzollerns, they (now IT) became the new threat, from 1870 onwards, ever increasingly as their industrial might grew with terrifying speed and vigour. King George V came back from a wedding in Berlin in 1913 and told his foreign secretary that an excuse for war had to be found.

    It was.

    • Replies: @byrresheim
  82. 68W58 says:
    @Alden

    Yeah-I’m not saying they weren’t self serving in their approach (though they were hardly alone in that regard), only that I understand what motivated them to get involved.

    • Replies: @Alden
  83. bomag says:
    @Kronos

    Interesting that his star protege was RJ Herrnstein, famous for suggesting that intelligence is mostly hereditary.

    • Replies: @Kronos
  84. “Their ruling class is, and remains to this day, Norman. “

    Hmm. I think seventy years ago that may have been the case. There are still plenty at or near the top, but aren’t they just “front of house” these days?

  85. Kronos says:
    @bomag

    I think he only presented the idea only after Skinner died (or secured tenure/independent funding.)

    Thus the phrase: “Science progresses one funeral at a time.”

    • Replies: @bomag
  86. Tex says:
    @syonredux

    I had the Roman armies. They had chariots too!

  87. TWS says:
    @al gore rhythms

    More like deluded saps but who knows.

  88. Cortes says:
    @Dube

    But Rousseau did enjoy a good spanking.

  89. Alden says:
    @Dube

    He who refused to marry his life partner because her family was slightly lower on the petty bourgeois scale than his. He who dumped all 5 of their newborn children at the orphanage door as soon as they were born because he was a socialist who believed in communal child raising; or welfare for me and mine paid for by the taxpayers

  90. Alden says:
    @68W58

    But no one ever invaded England. England just kept plundering France till first Spain then the Netherlands became colonial powers. Then England added piracy and looting of Spanish and Dutch shipping and colonies.
    Europe would have been a lot more peaceful without constant English invasions over the centuries.

    Soon as they settled WW2 the Europeans created even more problems for themselves with black and brown immigrants. England was the first 1948 the Windrush.

  91. syonredux says:
    @Alden

    But no one ever invaded England.

    Island-nations have certain advantages…..

    England just kept plundering France till first Spain then the Netherlands became colonial powers. Then England added piracy and looting of Spanish and Dutch shipping and colonies.

    Every true Englishman is a pirate at heart…..

    Europe would have been a lot more peaceful without constant English invasions over the centuries.

    Well, peace under someone’s boot…..

  92. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:
    @JMcG

    I saw someone of mixed and indeterminate race and sex scarf down an entire Wal-Mart roasted chicken and chuck the bones onto the pavement in a parking lot recently. It was driving a lowered pickup with House of Kolor tangerine flake paint, hard bed cover, 20 inch wheels and an Escalade front clip conversion that must have cost over fifty thousand to do. They went through that bird in about ninety seconds.

    Now some smartass is going to ask how I know it was House of Kolor paint. well, I was at a NAMM show and one of the heavy metal pointy headstock Floyd Rose type guitar vendors explained that HoK has a particular type of metalflake that is proprietary to them. That was it on this truck. HoK paints are heinously expensive.

  93. @al gore rhythms

    No war is sufficiently disastrous to make the warmongers shut their traps.

    The mere fact that Britain lost her economic supremacy in the next war, a war designed to keep Germany down, is completely lost on these people, as is the underlying hypocrisy of si vis pacem para bellum, coming from whom it came.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  94. @Altai

    Ties and jackets.
    ‘Nuff said.

  95. @Old Palo Altan

    Cost the pirates their right to suck India dry, though.

    Could there be a link between them losing the economic foundation for their continuous mischief and three quarters of a century of peace on the continent?

    • Replies: @syonredux
    , @Old Palo Altan
  96. syonredux says:
    @byrresheim

    The mere fact that Britain lost her economic supremacy in the next war, a war designed to keep Germany down,

    Whereas the Germans thought that it would put them on top…

    • Replies: @byrresheim
  97. syonredux says:
    @byrresheim

    Cost the pirates their right to suck India dry, though.

    Could there be a link between them losing the economic foundation for their continuous mischief and three quarters of a century of peace on the continent?

    Might want to look up the Industrial Revolution sometime….

    • Replies: @byrresheim
  98. @syonredux

    Sadly, no.
    The pirates wanted war, the pirates got war.
    Germany lost badly, so the pirates to this day believe they won.

    • Replies: @syonredux
    , @syonredux
  99. @syonredux

    Indeed sir, indeed.

    Do read Hobsbawm, but do read carefully, the subject is not in the forefront but it is there.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  100. Might want to look up the Industrial Revolution sometime….

    Indeed sir, indeed.

    Do read Hobsbawm, but do read carefully, the subject is not in the forefront — but it is there.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  101. @syonredux

    Whereas the Germans thought that it would put them on top…

    Which is why the emperor spent the last weeks before the shooting started begging his two cousins to cut out the murderous nonsense.

    Don’t take the pirate’s propaganda for the truth.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  102. bomag says:
    @Kronos

    Herrnstein went into the public IQ fray with his 1971 article “IQ” in the Atlantic. He had been tenured in 1967.

    He remained a proponent of Behaviorism. Skinner noted in his autobiography that he saw Herrnstein moving away from what Skinner considered a proper view of the field; but Skinner still considered him an important ally.

  103. @Dmon

    There’s the official wage rate, and then there’s the wage rate fully loaded with externalities like rape, pillage and plunder.

  104. syonredux says:
    @byrresheim

    Whereas the Germans thought that it would put them on top…

    Which is why the emperor spent the last weeks before the shooting started begging his two cousins to cut out the murderous nonsense.

    …..On the other hand, he could have concentrated on stopping Germany’s murderous nonsense….

    Don’t take the pirate’s propaganda for the truth.

    …..And similar notions apply to Kaiser Bill…..

  105. syonredux says:
    @byrresheim

    Might want to look up the Industrial Revolution sometime….

    Indeed sir, indeed.

    Good. Then you know that Britain’s outsized role had a lot to do with Britain being at the forefront of certain technological innovations…..

    And the Empire was largely a waste of time…..

  106. syonredux says:
    @byrresheim

    Do read Hobsbawm, but do read carefully, the subject is not in the forefront but it is there.

    Read him back in grad school.Too commie for my tastes.

  107. syonredux says:
    @byrresheim

    Sadly, no.

    Sadly, yes.

    The pirates wanted war, the pirates got war.

    …..And certain land-rats in Germany also wanted war….

    Germany lost badly, so the pirates to this day believe they won.

    ….And then the Germans tried again about 20 years later….

    • Replies: @byrresheim
  108. @syonredux

    …[.]And then theGermans tried again about 20 years later[.]…

    … and, throwing their japanese attack dog under the american bus in their justified panic, at long last the pirates lost their privilege to suck India dry.

    Fascinating how swiftly the empire broke down after that.

    Again Germany lost so badly that the pirates refuse, to this day, to see that they lost as well.

    Karma is a bitch.

  109. @The Germ Theory of Disease

    But you’re expected to use superlatives when talking about these foreign minority Johnnies.

  110. @byrresheim

    If you mean 1945 till now, you might well have a point.

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