Kipling’s insanely brilliant short story “The Man Who Would Be King,” which he wrote at age 22, is about two British sergeants who journey to pagan Kafiristan in Afghanistan to introduce civilization in the form of modern warfare. But Daniel Dravot (Sean Connery in John Huston’s 1975 movie), upon becoming king of Kafiristan, notices that Kafiris are blonds who sit upon chairs like Europeans, and resolves to civilize them rather than pillage them, much to the dismay and disgust of Peachey Carnehan (Michael Caine)..
This turns out to be a bad idea:
John Huston wanted to direct his movie version in a fair part of Turkey, but American drug war politics got in the way. Huston, Connery, and Caine wound up in a dark part of Morocco, which vindicated the use of Caine’s dark Indian model wife as Dravot’s wife Roxanne
Dravot : Peachy, I’m heartily ashamed for gettin’ you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved to, on account of me bein’ so bleedin’ high and bloody mighty. Can you forgive me?
Peachy Carnehan : That I can and that I do, Danny, free and full and without let or hindrance.
Anyway, the new 19 year old 6’5″ Pakistani cricket star looks like Peachey Carnehan’s worst nightmare:
No, Danny, he’s not like you and me!