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Fortunately, the pushy Upper West Side white woman has finally been identified:

 
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  1. I would like to transform the increasingly obsolete malls into family entertainment complexes: Bowling alleys, dedicated walking lane for seniors, gyms tailored to age and interests, batting cages along with crafting classes. Movies and food court remain of course. Anyone got millions to invest in the project?

  2. Great connection by Steve.

  3. Dave Pinsen says: • Website

    I’m picturing Ta-Nahesi Coates and his toddler dawdling in front of Woody Allen and Bette Midler in that movie set in the Beverly Center mall.

    But seriously, the movie theater he’s talking about on the Upper West Side – if it’s the one I’m thinking of (84th street and Broadway?) – it has huge escalators that have appeared in at least one romantic comedy. Was it Keeping The Faith? Maybe another commenter remembers. I vaguely remember a scene where one couple is going up the escalator and chats with friends on the way down, something like that.

  4. Dave Pinsen says: • Website
    @miss marple

    Andrew Yang actually has a policy idea about this.

  5. @miss marple

    My last gym in the US was in a former department store in a strip mall. It worked out really well. In Japan, there is a mall near my home that has a community pool on an upper floor. Mothers take their kids for swimming lessons and then go shopping. That works quite well.

  6. Wow. I didn’t think you could get more out of that TNC anecdote, Steve. This post is a little macabre though.

  7. Realist says:

    Speaking of mall malice, an arrest has been made for throwing a five year old boy over a third floor balcony railing at the Mall of America.

    • Replies: @Achmed E. Newman
  8. MEH 0910 says:

    Howl’s Moving Castle – Official Trailer

    Sophie, an average teenage girl working in a hat shop, finds her life thrown into turmoil when she is literally swept off her feet by a handsome but mysterious wizard named Howl. After this chance meeting she is turned into a 90-year old woman by the vain and conniving Witch of the Waste. Embarking on an incredible adventure to lift the curse, she finds refuge in Howl’s magical moving castle where she becomes acquainted with Markl, Howl’s apprentice, and a hot-headed fire demon named Calcifer. As the true power of Howl’s wizardry is revealed, and his relationship with Sophie deepens, our young grey heroine finds herself fighting to protect them both from a dangerous war of sorcery that threatens their world.

    Director: Hayao Miyazaki
    Year of Production: 2004

  9. @Dave Pinsen

    Might be the one at 68th and Bdwy. Don’t go there if you have vertigo (especially to see Vertigo)

    • Replies: @Dave Pinsen
  10. @miss marple

    The only mall I’ve been to in the last 20 years has already done this. The glow-in-the-dark miniature golf course was a highlight.

  11. @Dave Pinsen

    “I’m picturing Ta-Nahesi Coates and his toddler …”

    I’m picturing Tee-Hee Coates as a toddler. He’s just a chubby, privileged baby.

  12. bored identity strongly believes that not only it’s not too early, but it’s getting rather too late:

  13. I’ve never heard anyone say “Ta-Nehisi Coates” so I always pronounce it as ‘Tain’ Easy Coatis like in It Ain’t Easy, Coati Mundi.
    But then, I also pronounce Beyonce as Bay-onkey (rhymes with donkey).
    I’m one of those White Supremacists who refuses to even attempt to learn how to pronounce blacks’ nonsense names.

  14. @miss marple

    Just make the food and clothes and iGizmos at malls free to shoplifters; thereafter, Those Who “Randomly” Hurl Toddlers Over Railings will never go anywhere else. Just install Fukushima-grade robots to mop up and carry away the corpses, etc. Soylent Black is people!

    #EscapeFromMallYork (or Mallhattan?)

  15. @Dave Pinsen

    If Ta-Nahesi Coates had a 5- y.o. son . . .

  16. Shopping Malls were a sort of attempt by white flight suburbanites to recreate an artificial Main Street or downtown shopping district in their new car-dependent communities. Of course, the world’s most precious resource is white people, and people of color can’t be denied access to white people for too long so it seems that shopping malls themselves have become inundated with the vibrancy they were created to keep at bay. Amazon and easy-click online shopping appear to have been the replacement for even the artificiality of the suburban Shopping Mall.

    I recall that by the 1990s how the suburban Shopping Mall emerged as the infrastructure of middle class white kids’ youth culture – ubiquitous for a time in music videos and films. (My surmise is that by the 1990s a substantial chunk of white kids were raised with the Mall qua town square). See, e.g., one hit wonder The New Radicals:

    Many Malls now appear to be in freefall, probably largely occasioned by boutique and specialty online shopping, with once mighty anchors like Sears and Macy’s shuttering brick and mortar stores in solidly middle class areas. The Malls near me are experiencing this death spiral effect, losing their brand name anchor stores and having the interior spaces populated by low-rent “As Seen on TV” and sherbert-colored polyester “Urban Suit” stores.

  17. Perhaps you remember the time we went to see Howl’s Moving Castle on the Upper West Side. You were almost five years old. The theater was crowded, and when we came out we rode a set of escalators down to the ground floor. As we came off, you were moving at the dawdling speed of a small child. A white woman pushed you and said, “Come on!”

    Just like Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, TNC refused to give up his right to let his four year-old “dawdle” at the bottom of a conveyor belt that was pushing a crowd of people into his back. White people probably also told TNC not to let his kid play in the street. TNC’s resistance to these racist norms makes him a true Current Year civil rights hero.

    We really must erect a life-size monument on the site of this Escalator of Hate, which is the Birmingham Bridge of the Upper West Side. That’s just who we are.

    BTW, TNC’s much smarter replacement at The Atlantic has a substantially less hysterical take on race relations.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  18. @Hypnotoad666

    Loury would be better, but we can live with McWhorter.

    TNC worshippers are just highfalutin’ wiggers.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
    , @Hypnotoad666
  19. @Peripatetic Commenter

    Supplying the details the #LyingMSM will not supply

    Everyday occurrences like dog bites, traffic citations, and tortuous murders by crazed Africans don’t make the network news. Because they’re not news.

  20. @Desiderius

    Loury would be better, but we can live with McWhorter

    McWhorter is a bona fide expert in a genuine discipline. Is Loury?

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  21. @Desiderius

    TNC worshippers are just highfalutin’ wiggers.

    Agreed. TNC’s writing is such transparent nonsense that pretending to like it is basically a litmus test for self-identifying as an intellectually dishonest virtue signaler. (David Brooks, for example, is a huge TNC fanboy).

  22. @Peripatetic Commenter

    bored identity strongly believes that Vevy Smavt Alec Zeng deserves Andrew Young’s Scouts merit badge for his :”Hey, this is not a library,chill out!”

    But, since this was dindu-on-dindu, love-crime – no 24/7 nationwide follow up coverage will be required.

  23. @miss marple

    Except for the bowling Alleys, gyms, batting cages, food courts, some mall are “trending” this way on their own due to crime. I.E. in one I know, there is nothing but one anchor store, a bookstore, a jewelry store, and a bunch of mall walkers in the place. They must be losing tons of money, and what can’t go on, won’t go on.

  24. @Realist

    I think that was the point of Steve’s post, Realist. I’m not trying to be a jerk, as, without having just seen a Paul Kersey headline on this site, I would not have gotten it either.

    • Disagree: Realist
  25. @Reg Cæsar

    Life?

    http://www.glennloury.com/

    His middle name is Cartman. What more could you ask for?

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  26. @Desiderius

    http://www.glennloury.com/

    His middle name is Cartman. What more could you ask for?

    Glenn Cartman Loury =

    Not all gunmen carry.
    Manly Negro ran cult.

  27. Mr. Anon says:

    And what was it Elaine said when she shoved people?

    “Get Out!”

    • LOL: Achmed E. Newman
  28. Mr. Anon says:

    I think it’s very possible that Julia Louis Dreyfus is the funniest woman who ever lived, at least in her role as Elaine.

  29. Hail says: • Website

    Manly Negro ran cult

    Best obituary headline ever. If the details apply.

    “Anagram to describe personality” is all fair and god, but “Anagram as obituary headline” would be a real step up. If anyone can do it, Reg Caesar can.

  30. @Mr. Anon

    She is awfully funny in Veep too, which is, basically, Elaine Gets Elected.

    • Replies: @Mr. Anon
    , @Dave Pinsen
  31. Mr. Anon says:
    @Steve Sailer

    The honest truth is that women are generally not as funny as men. Dreyfus is the one woman I can think of who was every bit as funny as the men she performed with. Her timing, her delivery – everything – it was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

  32. @Mr. Anon

    I don’t know if you two know or remember, but Elaine Benece was also 1/2 of the yuppie couple who lived next door to the Griswolds in Christmas Vacation. She wasn’t funny there, but that’s who she was told to be. I just remember a Christmas tree falling through their roof.

    • Replies: @Achmed E. Newman
  33. @Achmed E. Newman

    The Seinfeld writers should get a lot of credit for that, but yeah, all of them cracked me up with their different styles of comedy. Elaine was very pretty (to me) during the earlier episodes too, but that slowly changed (it didn’t help when she did those smeared-make-up scenes where she looks like a ghoul).

    Oh,one of her funniest bits was when she was drunk (usually Schnapps given to her by Jerry or someone to make her tell the truth).

    • Replies: @Dave Pinsen
  34. Dave Pinsen says: • Website
    @Steve Sailer

    Her sitcom in between, The New Adventures of Old Christine, was funny too. Has she ever had any duds?

    Comedy is a hard genre to get right. Few remember now, but immediately after Seinfeld wrapped up, there were a few sitcoms launched by former Seinfeld staffers that didn’t work out. But maybe that’s partly a result of trying to go back to the same well. As in drama, the next Sopranos wasn’t another mob drama but Game of Thrones.

    • Replies: @Desiderius
  35. Dave Pinsen says: • Website
    @Known Fact

    That might be the one. Haven’t been in years. Maybe the sitcom it was in was You’ve Got Mail?

  36. Dave Pinsen says: • Website
    @Achmed E. Newman

    Michael Richards was the master of physical comedy on Seinfeld, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus had some great moments too. Like this one.

    • Agree: Achmed E. Newman
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