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  1. • Agree: BenKenobi
    • LOL: HammerJack, dvorak
    • Replies: @Pincher Martin
    Well done.
    , @Buzz Mohawk
    Yours hadn't appeared yet. Didn't mean to steal it. LOL.
  2. “They made me sit in this high chair, to prevent more creep clips!”

  3. “I’m ruler,’ said Yertle, ‘of all that I see, But I don’t see enough. That’s the trouble with me.” With this lifeguards chair for a throne, I look down on my pond But I cannot look down on the places beyond…..

  4. “I’m ruler’, said Yertle, ‘of all that I see, But I don’t see enough. That’s the trouble with me.” With this lifeguards chair for a throne, I look down on my pond, but I cannot look down on the places beyond…..”

  5. “Please don’t sell me to Disney!”

    • LOL: sayless
    • Replies: @MikeatMikedotMike
    A great minds moment!
  6. Either “Gotta Have My Pops” or “I am Joe of House Biden,the First of HisName, The Unburnt, Vice President of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Senator of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lord Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.”

  7. Slightly OT, but you gotta give Joe credit for getting himself in good shape at his age. You can Botox away wrinkles, but he’s had to lose a lot of weight. Hardly any gut on a 70+ man… Takes effort.

    • Replies: @Kratoklastes
    I give him no credit whatsoever. My Dad’s older and fitter. And Dad hasn’t spent his entire life living parasitically, taking orders from the worst human-being-impersonators in the world, i.e.,the people who use politics to grift their way to wealth.
    , @Harry Baldwin
    Joe used to work out by swimming nude in the White House pool in front of female Secret Service agents.
    , @Realist
    Genetics.
    , @Chrisnonymous
    Good tailor.
  8. “Universal swimming lessons!”

    “Yes, we can (learn to swim)!”

    “I have a pool and one day poor kids and white kids will swim together.”

    • Replies: @Jack D
    Blacks have higher bone density and sink like stones. Every summer they find a few black kids at the bottom of the public pools in Philadelphia. They sink down there and no one notices for a while.

    https://www.pennlive.com/news/2019/08/largely-absent-dad-blocked-from-getting-share-of-financial-settlement-over-4-year-old-sons-accidental-drowning.html
  9. When in Wakanda, do what the Wakandans do!

  10. “At first, Kurtz was a model employee of the company, but then, deep in the jungle, he began to change…”

    • Agree: Malcolm X-Lax
    • Replies: @BenKenobi
    “We train our young men to drop fire on people, but we won’t let them use racist language because... it’s OBSCENE.”

    I used to have a 3’x5’ portrait of Brando’s Kurtz above my mantle. Girlfriend made me put in the foyer when we moved in together.

    Anyway, here’s my Biden caption:

    “Do you think... my methods are unsound?”
  11. “My friends call me Joe, but you can call me bwana.”

  12. “Welcome to Jonestown, an inclusive community. We will now take a short kool-aid break.”

  13. “I’m manspreading my whiteness”.

  14. “On Sundays, Stanley observed, Livingston would sermonize to the natives, who received the great man’s preaching with boundless enthusiasm.”

  15. Nice pic, complete with Ewoks and all.

  16. “WHAAAAAT, none of you can swim”
    “Ohhhhh weeeeeeee, I can see Obama from here”
    “Shugga Daddy, gotz the big chair”
    “OK, who wants to sit on grandpa’s lap.”
    “C’mon…play dat record player.”
    “No, no really I mean it…Obama’s dick is this big.”

  17. • Replies: @Hypnotoad666
    Is this what the New York Times has in mind for "reparations?"
  18. Grandpa Joe’s corny story reminds me of something. Or other. I dunno why.

    Can we call him GrandPop Corn? Please? Can we?


  19. “and that’s the truth — bpfft!”

    • LOL: Hodag
  20. THEY CALL ME…..CORN POP

  21. Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Joe Biden?
    A: Joe Biden was the King of Popcorn.

    • Replies: @Forbes
    Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Joe Biden?
    A: Michael Jackson only touched children.

    It's a joke.
  22. “And after I told Pharoah to Let My People Go, I spread my arms and the Red Sea split!”

  23. Come jungle friends!

    • LOL: Anonymousse
  24. @Oscar Peterson
    "At first, Kurtz was a model employee of the company, but then, deep in the jungle, he began to change..."

    “We train our young men to drop fire on people, but we won’t let them use racist language because… it’s OBSCENE.”

    I used to have a 3’x5’ portrait of Brando’s Kurtz above my mantle. Girlfriend made me put in the foyer when we moved in together.

    Anyway, here’s my Biden caption:

    “Do you think… my methods are unsound?”

  25. @NJ Transit Commuter
    Slightly OT, but you gotta give Joe credit for getting himself in good shape at his age. You can Botox away wrinkles, but he’s had to lose a lot of weight. Hardly any gut on a 70+ man... Takes effort.

    I give him no credit whatsoever. My Dad’s older and fitter. And Dad hasn’t spent his entire life living parasitically, taking orders from the worst human-being-impersonators in the world, i.e.,the people who use politics to grift their way to wealth.

  26. WHAT IS THE LAW?
    Coming this fall from Netflix, the classic tale of isolation and power-madness from HG Wells, THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU.

    • Replies: @Counterinsurgency

    Coming this fall from Netflix, the classic tale of isolation and power-madness from HG Wells, THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU.
     
    As HG Wells wrote it, "The island of Dr. Moreau" was a thinly disguised parable about the attempt to lift the English working class and pauper class into literate civilization. The process hurt the people subject to the lift; they didn't understand what was happening to them and they tried, most of them, but (judging from the night scenes in London and Pink Floyd's popular "We don't need no education" and various attempts to demonize even educational BBC nature documentaries) the effort didn't really take.
    As far as I know, Dr. Moreau was the only literary expression of this failure to take except for various clown figures, such as Eliza Doolittle's father in Shaw's "Pygmalion". I'm probably overlooking quite a bit here, but this isn't an area of special interest for me.
    The end effect seems to have been the destruction of the non-Left British upper classes and the descent of the working class / pauper class from an important voting block (that occasionally rioted) to a group that can, maybe, just barely keep themselves from being genocided.

    So, in the sequel, Dr. Moreau is arrested for animal cruelty and the animal people's next generation goes back to being animals.

    And, in real life, every immigrant group (including immigrants from the past to the future, which is everybody) is now going back to being the way it would have been in its country of origin had its aristocracy been absent.

    Counterinsurgency
  27. Ot,but i wonder why no one seems to be comparing Shane Gillis- an actual comedian who got fired for making a racist joke – and Sarah Jong- a columnist who didn’t get fired for making a racist joke.

  28. Biden can ignore Rudyard Kipling’s advice at his own peril.

    • Agree: The Anti-Gnostic
  29. What a relief. I saw the headline and thought, oh no Steve’s finally gone ’round the bend. But it was just creepy old Joe.

  30. “I’m not a God. I’m a rich old white man. Which is the next best thing.”

  31. “America hasn’t moved drastically far enough away from the nadir of its history”

    • Replies: @Redneck farmer
    Well, when we develop time travel, I'll make sure a certain Dutch ship sinks before reaching America......
    , @Kronos
    Not while there’s money in our pockets.
    , @Forbes
    Is The Atlantic is implying slavery still exists? Sees far fetched--or insane.
  32. I see the howdah*, but where’s the elephant?

    Or would that be taken as a subtle advertisement for the other side?

    *I was going to call it a litter, a basket, or a sedan, but those are not quite the best terms for it, are they?

    • Replies: @Lot
    “I was going to call it a litter, a basket, or a sedan”

    Groups of appellate judges are a panel.

    , @the one they call Desanex
    Bootleg bootleg
    Bootleg howdah
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cevHrrCz2F4
  33. “Oh come on, I’m Joe Biden, I carried Obama’s golf clubs for eight years and not one of you know my name”.

  34. “I declare these Negroes… free!”

  35. “I bring to you free chicken and waffles! But first, bring me the head of Tiny Duck!”

  36. “Brawndo’s got what plants crave.”

  37. “Like I said to Barack, this is a big fucking pool.”

    • LOL: fish
  38. Here is what I find quite odd about Biden and the rest of the White democrats. According to the late Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, “In multiracial societies, you don’t vote in accordance with your economic interests and social interests, you vote in accordance with race and religion.”

    If that is true, then why do White democrats attract almost all of the non-whites, but only about 40% of the Whites? Shouldn’t they be out campaigning for the votes of other Whites? And if they are failing to attract a majority of Whites, don’t they feel something is wrong?

    Is this unique to America? In other multi-racial places do the candidates spend time catering to every group but their own? I guess this is probably happening in European nations too. I think the Labour party in the UK relies on the non-whites and is now being dumped by their traditional White voter. So let me modify and ask, does this happen in any non-European nation?

    It seems odd and my guess is that this is transitory. Eventually as non-whites increase more and more, they will have little interest in voting for a White.

    • Replies: @Kronos
    I always assumed this split resulted from the “Great White Flights” of the 1960s. The working class whites left in droves while middle-upper class whites more or less stayed near (somewhere) in the Metro area. Sailer occasionally talks about these agreements that whites made amongst each other to stay in their respective neighborhoods no matter how many blacks moved in. (I assume a few succeeded.)


    Because blacks never provided the best working class material, the uppity-ups were always on the lookout for talent. AKA people desperate enough to deal with black crime and high taxes. So you have different racial working classes competing against one another. Based also on a urban/rural divide.


    Also, urban whites might be slowly changing the term “white.” Something that’s only a reference to rural working class people. It sounds stupid, but your dealing with urban white liberals that have been trapped into these political quagmires for decades.


    https://www.snopes.com/tachyon/2018/10/byebyedems.jpg

    , @Jesse
    The Democrats are selecting for the crazy whites. The have been consistently driving out any of them with any self respect, including people quite far to the left. So they're getting people with increasingly blatant mental illnesses, and/or whites who are working through issues with their families or communities.

    I'm on the center left, and am sympathetic to many Democratic Socialist policies. But I have too much self respect to collude with people who want me dead, and I've worked through my adolescent issues, so there's no place for me. (That doesn't make the classic conservative/Republican policies any less sickening.)
  39. “I once caught a fish that was this big, right here in this big fucking pool, while the Taliban were shooting at me.”

    • Replies: @Forbes
    Sounds more like a Hillary "under fire" story.
  40. You know, GrandPop Corn’s road show version of Apocalyptico needs a better set. And more makeup.

  41. “If they had known where it would lead, how many would have signed that declaration?”

  42. “Cosby kids, consider yourselves dropped off at the pool…”

  43. @MikeatMikedotMike
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_RdkapcBy4s/TfD1lng-omI/AAAAAAAADGo/AB52_olhRoo/s1600/C3P0%2Bis%2Ba%2Bgod%2Bamong%2Bthe%2Bewoks%2Bon%2Bendor.jpg

    Well done.

  44. @MikeatMikedotMike
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_RdkapcBy4s/TfD1lng-omI/AAAAAAAADGo/AB52_olhRoo/s1600/C3P0%2Bis%2Ba%2Bgod%2Bamong%2Bthe%2Bewoks%2Bon%2Bendor.jpg

    Yours hadn’t appeared yet. Didn’t mean to steal it. LOL.

  45. @Reg Cæsar
    I see the howdah*, but where's the elephant?

    Or would that be taken as a subtle advertisement for the other side?



    https://d279m997dpfwgl.cloudfront.net/wp/2016/02/2016_scalia-rbg-1000x695.jpg



    *I was going to call it a litter, a basket, or a sedan, but those are not quite the best terms for it, are they?



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiLARnQVBns


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8pxw5VCz70


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPqKaQguuwk

    “I was going to call it a litter, a basket, or a sedan”

    Groups of appellate judges are a panel.

  46. “O Lord, send Thy miracle down
    To multiply hordes that are brown;
    Give them IQ’s of fifty
    So they’ll vote for Joe Shifty
    And never suspect he’s a clown.”

    • Replies: @Simon
    Bravo!
  47. Is it too early to invoke the 25th Amendment on Joe Biden?
    If Joe were to be elected, he’d make Trump look like the model of decorum. Biden is the kind of old white guy who still thinks most black guys are named Tyrone or Leroy.

    • Replies: @The Germ Theory of Disease
    Yes, when in fact these days they are more likely to be named DeT'reyone, or LeRoycious.

    I blame the intertubes.
    , @EdwardM
    I predict that if Biden gets the nomination, certain factions will pull out all the stops to get Hillary Clinton the VP slot.

    That may or may not be the best strategy for the Democrats -- there are certainly pros and cons. Race-hustlers will scream at the all-white ticket; I guess the question is whether the Clintons have enough juice left to make them accept it by muscling in while promising behind closed doors that one of their own will become VP when Hillary Clinton ascends to the presidency by the end of 2021.
  48. @NJ Transit Commuter
    Slightly OT, but you gotta give Joe credit for getting himself in good shape at his age. You can Botox away wrinkles, but he’s had to lose a lot of weight. Hardly any gut on a 70+ man... Takes effort.

    Joe used to work out by swimming nude in the White House pool in front of female Secret Service agents.

    • Replies: @Buzz Mohawk
    That's not Joe's fault; it is the fault of the Secret Service for having female agents.
    , @Jim Don Bob
    Somewhat correct. It was the pool at his house in Delaware. There is no pool in the White House.
  49. “I can swim!”

    “And the rest of you sink.”

  50. @Harry Baldwin
    Is it too early to invoke the 25th Amendment on Joe Biden?
    If Joe were to be elected, he'd make Trump look like the model of decorum. Biden is the kind of old white guy who still thinks most black guys are named Tyrone or Leroy.

    Yes, when in fact these days they are more likely to be named DeT’reyone, or LeRoycious.

    I blame the intertubes.

  51. Turns out, Charlie Manson was right about Helter Skelter after all.

  52. “Hurry up and take the fucking picture! Do you have any idea how easy it is to rile these people up?!”

  53. @Harry Baldwin
    Joe used to work out by swimming nude in the White House pool in front of female Secret Service agents.

    That’s not Joe’s fault; it is the fault of the Secret Service for having female agents.

  54. My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
    Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

  55. @eah
    "America hasn't moved drastically far enough away from the nadir of its history"

    https://twitter.com/TheAtlantic/status/1173412509690335232

    Well, when we develop time travel, I’ll make sure a certain Dutch ship sinks before reaching America……

  56. “Aw, for Pete’s sake! Somebody tell those colored kids to quit horsing around in the lap lane!”

  57. Could that photo be his Dukakis-Riding-in-a-Tank moment?

    In Uncle Creepy’s defense:

    1. The Ballad of Corn Pop is just a well-crafted bit of political hokum, it is targeted direct-mail hackery that is, or /was/, tailor-made for Lunch Pail Joker’s old-timey audience of white working-class Boomertards who would like to think they too were once two-fisted hard-drinkin’ sand-hogs chewing on rivets, spitting tobaccy juice, and downing berlermakers down at the old ironworks, rather than coddled Boomertard middle-class simps. This silly story appeals to the dopey old-fashioned Schoolyard Code that insists “if you stand up to a bully, he’ll respect you afterwards.” I’m just surprised Uncle Creepy didn’t tell his enemy, “Put up your dukes!” Uncle Creepy gets to look tough and manly and plain-spoken, without actually having to clobber a POC, or at least try — which would be bad optics.

    2. I’m half-way inclined to believe there really was a local tuff guy with the stooopid name Corn Pop. Nicknames often stick to kids when they’re little, before they grow up to become Tuff Guys, and they often have something to do with food, especially a kid doing something stupid with food. Did Corn Pop stick a piece of popcorn up his nose when he was four, get the nickname Popcorn, and then flip it backwards the way blacks often do, when he grew older? (When I was a kid in an unruly part of town, there was a local bad-ass named Tootsie Roll, and nobody laughed at him about it.)

    Perhaps we’ll never know. I’m just waiting for Uncle Creepy to accidentally lapse into a Shatner-style recitation of “Windmills of Your Mind.”

    • Replies: @Harry Baldwin
    Maybe his new-found notoriety will bring Corn Pop out of retirement and he'll do some events with Joe to excite the black vote. Corn Pop will show the rusty straight razor he used to carry and assure the crowd that Joe was the first white man who ever earned his respect. Joe can open his wallet and take out the tattered Ghetto Pass that Corn Pop issued him that he still proudly carries. Then they can do a bro hug. Nomination locked down.
  58. “Be Fruitful and Multiply!”

  59. “Frogs at the Bottom of the Well See Only Part of the Sky!”

    But thank the Frog God they can’t see the weird chair guy.

  60. @Eustace Tilley (not)
    "O Lord, send Thy miracle down
    To multiply hordes that are brown;
    Give them IQ's of fifty
    So they'll vote for Joe Shifty
    And never suspect he's a clown."

    Bravo!

  61. @Harry Baldwin
    Is it too early to invoke the 25th Amendment on Joe Biden?
    If Joe were to be elected, he'd make Trump look like the model of decorum. Biden is the kind of old white guy who still thinks most black guys are named Tyrone or Leroy.

    I predict that if Biden gets the nomination, certain factions will pull out all the stops to get Hillary Clinton the VP slot.

    That may or may not be the best strategy for the Democrats — there are certainly pros and cons. Race-hustlers will scream at the all-white ticket; I guess the question is whether the Clintons have enough juice left to make them accept it by muscling in while promising behind closed doors that one of their own will become VP when Hillary Clinton ascends to the presidency by the end of 2021.

    • Replies: @Kronos
    Even Biden isn’t that senile. If he wins on a Biden/Clinton ticket he’ll be bumped off. They both draw from similar voting demographics and donors. There’s isn’t an extra party wing to bring in. That’s were Harris comes in.
    , @Alden
    And if the Biden Hildabeast ticket wins, expect Biden to succumb to a sudden death by natural causes. Only argument will be the timing. Should it happen the day after the inauguration in January or the day after the election?
  62. @J.Ross
    WHAT IS THE LAW?
    Coming this fall from Netflix, the classic tale of isolation and power-madness from HG Wells, THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU.

    Coming this fall from Netflix, the classic tale of isolation and power-madness from HG Wells, THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU.

    As HG Wells wrote it, “The island of Dr. Moreau” was a thinly disguised parable about the attempt to lift the English working class and pauper class into literate civilization. The process hurt the people subject to the lift; they didn’t understand what was happening to them and they tried, most of them, but (judging from the night scenes in London and Pink Floyd’s popular “We don’t need no education” and various attempts to demonize even educational BBC nature documentaries) the effort didn’t really take.
    As far as I know, Dr. Moreau was the only literary expression of this failure to take except for various clown figures, such as Eliza Doolittle’s father in Shaw’s “Pygmalion”. I’m probably overlooking quite a bit here, but this isn’t an area of special interest for me.
    The end effect seems to have been the destruction of the non-Left British upper classes and the descent of the working class / pauper class from an important voting block (that occasionally rioted) to a group that can, maybe, just barely keep themselves from being genocided.

    So, in the sequel, Dr. Moreau is arrested for animal cruelty and the animal people’s next generation goes back to being animals.

    And, in real life, every immigrant group (including immigrants from the past to the future, which is everybody) is now going back to being the way it would have been in its country of origin had its aristocracy been absent.

    Counterinsurgency

  63. Corn Pop
    Scorned as the one who ran
    What do you do when you’re Corn Pop
    And you know you’re a man?

  64. I wonder if this comic strip has survived into the Woke age.

    • Replies: @FPD72
    The Phantom began with a daily newspaper strip on February 17, 1936, followed by a color Sunday strip on May 28, 1939; both are still running as of 2019.
  65. The last King of Scotland!

  66. “The list of my black supporters is long and impressive, and so is my Johnson!”

    • LOL: black sea
  67. @eah
    "America hasn't moved drastically far enough away from the nadir of its history"

    https://twitter.com/TheAtlantic/status/1173412509690335232

    Not while there’s money in our pockets.

  68. @The Germ Theory of Disease
    Could that photo be his Dukakis-Riding-in-a-Tank moment?

    In Uncle Creepy's defense:

    1. The Ballad of Corn Pop is just a well-crafted bit of political hokum, it is targeted direct-mail hackery that is, or /was/, tailor-made for Lunch Pail Joker's old-timey audience of white working-class Boomertards who would like to think they too were once two-fisted hard-drinkin' sand-hogs chewing on rivets, spitting tobaccy juice, and downing berlermakers down at the old ironworks, rather than coddled Boomertard middle-class simps. This silly story appeals to the dopey old-fashioned Schoolyard Code that insists "if you stand up to a bully, he'll respect you afterwards." I'm just surprised Uncle Creepy didn't tell his enemy, "Put up your dukes!" Uncle Creepy gets to look tough and manly and plain-spoken, without actually having to clobber a POC, or at least try -- which would be bad optics.

    2. I'm half-way inclined to believe there really was a local tuff guy with the stooopid name Corn Pop. Nicknames often stick to kids when they're little, before they grow up to become Tuff Guys, and they often have something to do with food, especially a kid doing something stupid with food. Did Corn Pop stick a piece of popcorn up his nose when he was four, get the nickname Popcorn, and then flip it backwards the way blacks often do, when he grew older? (When I was a kid in an unruly part of town, there was a local bad-ass named Tootsie Roll, and nobody laughed at him about it.)

    Perhaps we'll never know. I'm just waiting for Uncle Creepy to accidentally lapse into a Shatner-style recitation of "Windmills of Your Mind."

    Maybe his new-found notoriety will bring Corn Pop out of retirement and he’ll do some events with Joe to excite the black vote. Corn Pop will show the rusty straight razor he used to carry and assure the crowd that Joe was the first white man who ever earned his respect. Joe can open his wallet and take out the tattered Ghetto Pass that Corn Pop issued him that he still proudly carries. Then they can do a bro hug. Nomination locked down.

    • Replies: @Kronos
    But we find out CornPop died from Crack/AIDS in 1981. But he has a great great grandson named MiniPop. MiniPop is poor and desperately needs reparation money to eek out a living.
  69. @istevefan
    Here is what I find quite odd about Biden and the rest of the White democrats. According to the late Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, "In multiracial societies, you don’t vote in accordance with your economic interests and social interests, you vote in accordance with race and religion.”

    If that is true, then why do White democrats attract almost all of the non-whites, but only about 40% of the Whites? Shouldn't they be out campaigning for the votes of other Whites? And if they are failing to attract a majority of Whites, don't they feel something is wrong?

    Is this unique to America? In other multi-racial places do the candidates spend time catering to every group but their own? I guess this is probably happening in European nations too. I think the Labour party in the UK relies on the non-whites and is now being dumped by their traditional White voter. So let me modify and ask, does this happen in any non-European nation?

    It seems odd and my guess is that this is transitory. Eventually as non-whites increase more and more, they will have little interest in voting for a White.

    I always assumed this split resulted from the “Great White Flights” of the 1960s. The working class whites left in droves while middle-upper class whites more or less stayed near (somewhere) in the Metro area. Sailer occasionally talks about these agreements that whites made amongst each other to stay in their respective neighborhoods no matter how many blacks moved in. (I assume a few succeeded.)

    Because blacks never provided the best working class material, the uppity-ups were always on the lookout for talent. AKA people desperate enough to deal with black crime and high taxes. So you have different racial working classes competing against one another. Based also on a urban/rural divide.

    Also, urban whites might be slowly changing the term “white.” Something that’s only a reference to rural working class people. It sounds stupid, but your dealing with urban white liberals that have been trapped into these political quagmires for decades.

    • Replies: @Jesse
    That's a good point about the definition of white. I've seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.
  70. “Let’s dig from here until lunch.”

  71. How about,

    “When did African-Americans swimming become a thing?”

  72. @Reg Cæsar
    I see the howdah*, but where's the elephant?

    Or would that be taken as a subtle advertisement for the other side?



    https://d279m997dpfwgl.cloudfront.net/wp/2016/02/2016_scalia-rbg-1000x695.jpg



    *I was going to call it a litter, a basket, or a sedan, but those are not quite the best terms for it, are they?



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiLARnQVBns


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8pxw5VCz70


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPqKaQguuwk

    Bootleg bootleg
    Bootleg howdah

  73. The photo reminds a bit of King Canute (not) holding back the tide, but I’m not sure which tide Biden is up against in his own mind.

  74. @EdwardM
    I predict that if Biden gets the nomination, certain factions will pull out all the stops to get Hillary Clinton the VP slot.

    That may or may not be the best strategy for the Democrats -- there are certainly pros and cons. Race-hustlers will scream at the all-white ticket; I guess the question is whether the Clintons have enough juice left to make them accept it by muscling in while promising behind closed doors that one of their own will become VP when Hillary Clinton ascends to the presidency by the end of 2021.

    Even Biden isn’t that senile. If he wins on a Biden/Clinton ticket he’ll be bumped off. They both draw from similar voting demographics and donors. There’s isn’t an extra party wing to bring in. That’s were Harris comes in.

    • Replies: @EdwardM
    Agree about the overlap in perceived "lanes." That's one of the negatives. Though one of the positives would be the media swooning about the "dream team" (though they would swoon, I suppose, no matter whom he picks) and sort of a "do-over," "redemption," etc., etc.

    But that's why I suggested that this was a test of Clinton party clout. Do they still have it?

  75. @Harry Baldwin
    Maybe his new-found notoriety will bring Corn Pop out of retirement and he'll do some events with Joe to excite the black vote. Corn Pop will show the rusty straight razor he used to carry and assure the crowd that Joe was the first white man who ever earned his respect. Joe can open his wallet and take out the tattered Ghetto Pass that Corn Pop issued him that he still proudly carries. Then they can do a bro hug. Nomination locked down.

    But we find out CornPop died from Crack/AIDS in 1981. But he has a great great grandson named MiniPop. MiniPop is poor and desperately needs reparation money to eek out a living.

  76. The real killer for Sleepy Uncle Joe may be the recent Fox News report that Joe told his fellow senators that he believed Clarence Thomas and thought Anita Hill was lying.

    The Hill-Thomas hearings were a key turning point for the Left. If this gets well-publicized (he was chairman of the Senate committee!), the Left could hound him out of the race.

    So, everyone: start spreading the word — “Vice President Biden, exactly what did you tell your fellow Senators about Anita Hill???”

    • Replies: @J.Ross
    That's great but a Touchy Joe candidacy guarantees a Trump win.
  77. @NJ Transit Commuter
    Slightly OT, but you gotta give Joe credit for getting himself in good shape at his age. You can Botox away wrinkles, but he’s had to lose a lot of weight. Hardly any gut on a 70+ man... Takes effort.

    Genetics.

  78. @Kronos
    I always assumed this split resulted from the “Great White Flights” of the 1960s. The working class whites left in droves while middle-upper class whites more or less stayed near (somewhere) in the Metro area. Sailer occasionally talks about these agreements that whites made amongst each other to stay in their respective neighborhoods no matter how many blacks moved in. (I assume a few succeeded.)


    Because blacks never provided the best working class material, the uppity-ups were always on the lookout for talent. AKA people desperate enough to deal with black crime and high taxes. So you have different racial working classes competing against one another. Based also on a urban/rural divide.


    Also, urban whites might be slowly changing the term “white.” Something that’s only a reference to rural working class people. It sounds stupid, but your dealing with urban white liberals that have been trapped into these political quagmires for decades.


    https://www.snopes.com/tachyon/2018/10/byebyedems.jpg

    That’s a good point about the definition of white. I’ve seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.

    • Replies: @Jack D
    Leftist white people distinguish between goodwhites (themselves, feminists, gays, Jews, etc.) and badwhites (rural, racist, Trump voter, etc.) . When they carry those signs around saying "All white people must die" they mean only badwhites. Non-whites think all white people look alike.
    , @dfordoom

    I’ve seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.
     
    Yes, they really do. When white liberals talk about how cool it would be if all white people ceased to exist what they actually mean is how cool it would be if all poor people and all rural people and all non-liberals ceased to exist.

    They don't think of themselves as white people. They think of themselves as liberals. They naturally assume that all correct-thinking people love rich white liberals. No reasonable person would ever hate rich white liberals. How can you hate me - I have a rainbow flag flying from my house?

    Rootless cosmopolitans dream of a world of maximum diversity, in which everyone will be a rootless cosmopolitan.
    , @J.Ross
    Stealth class hatred. "White people" = "flyover country hicks and the working class."
  79. @istevefan
    Here is what I find quite odd about Biden and the rest of the White democrats. According to the late Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, "In multiracial societies, you don’t vote in accordance with your economic interests and social interests, you vote in accordance with race and religion.”

    If that is true, then why do White democrats attract almost all of the non-whites, but only about 40% of the Whites? Shouldn't they be out campaigning for the votes of other Whites? And if they are failing to attract a majority of Whites, don't they feel something is wrong?

    Is this unique to America? In other multi-racial places do the candidates spend time catering to every group but their own? I guess this is probably happening in European nations too. I think the Labour party in the UK relies on the non-whites and is now being dumped by their traditional White voter. So let me modify and ask, does this happen in any non-European nation?

    It seems odd and my guess is that this is transitory. Eventually as non-whites increase more and more, they will have little interest in voting for a White.

    The Democrats are selecting for the crazy whites. The have been consistently driving out any of them with any self respect, including people quite far to the left. So they’re getting people with increasingly blatant mental illnesses, and/or whites who are working through issues with their families or communities.

    I’m on the center left, and am sympathetic to many Democratic Socialist policies. But I have too much self respect to collude with people who want me dead, and I’ve worked through my adolescent issues, so there’s no place for me. (That doesn’t make the classic conservative/Republican policies any less sickening.)

  80. @PiltdownMan
    I wonder if this comic strip has survived into the Woke age.

    https://i.imgur.com/eHBAbwa.jpg

    The Phantom began with a daily newspaper strip on February 17, 1936, followed by a color Sunday strip on May 28, 1939; both are still running as of 2019.

    • Replies: @Autochthon
    Don't forget its execrable adaptation for the screen, starring Billy Zane as the titular hero! I took a date to see that in high school, and we both walked to the car in silence. Then we got in, turned to each other, and pretty much simultaneously agreed "Well, that was the worst movie I may have ever seen" before driving to the lake to make out. I've never seen the film below, but I found it looking for a clip of the other, and I've decided to feature it instead, since it cannot not be a superiour film.

    https://youtu.be/D35oKi1mcOc
  81. The footage of Biden getting up and then climbing down from that platform might be worth gold.

    • Replies: @Jack D
    For Hillary they would have needed a crane.
  82. @Buzz Mohawk
    "Please don't sell me to Disney!"

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_RdkapcBy4s/TfD1lng-omI/AAAAAAAADGo/AB52_olhRoo/s1600/C3P0%2Bis%2Ba%2Bgod%2Bamong%2Bthe%2Bewoks%2Bon%2Bendor.jpg

    A great minds moment!

    • Agree: Buzz Mohawk
  83. “The chain was this long, man!”

  84. @White Guy In Japan
    "Universal swimming lessons!"

    "Yes, we can (learn to swim)!"

    "I have a pool and one day poor kids and white kids will swim together."

    Blacks have higher bone density and sink like stones. Every summer they find a few black kids at the bottom of the public pools in Philadelphia. They sink down there and no one notices for a while.

    https://www.pennlive.com/news/2019/08/largely-absent-dad-blocked-from-getting-share-of-financial-settlement-over-4-year-old-sons-accidental-drowning.html

    • Replies: @Chrisnonymous
    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool), and we had this ROTC guy who looked and sounded like the actor Clancy Brown except that he literally had no fat on his body, like a bodybuilder cut down for competition. He wanted us (swim team) to give him swimming lessons so he could graduate. He would get in a neutral position in the water and start kicking and stroking, and he would move in a diagonal direction--forward and down, slowly sinking as he swam. I've never seen anything like it.
  85. @MikeatMikedotMike
    The footage of Biden getting up and then climbing down from that platform might be worth gold.

    For Hillary they would have needed a crane.

  86. @Jesse
    That's a good point about the definition of white. I've seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.

    Leftist white people distinguish between goodwhites (themselves, feminists, gays, Jews, etc.) and badwhites (rural, racist, Trump voter, etc.) . When they carry those signs around saying “All white people must die” they mean only badwhites. Non-whites think all white people look alike.

    • Replies: @William Badwhite

    “All white people must die” they mean only badwhites

     

    I'm screwed
  87. Just this morning, the six-year-old daughter of my wife’s boyfriend told me, “You know what, Tyler, good old Lunch Pail Joe really knows how to look a Strong Black Man straight in the eye and earn his respect. I have no doubt he’ll garner the trust, and the votes, of Communities of Color.” Her entire first-grade Reparations Workshop class burst into applause. Then there was free health care, universal solar power, and Restorative Justice, and all the white people vanished from the earth except for the hot blondes, who all got gay-married to aspiring rappers in Baltimore.

    And everybody got a Pulitzer.

    • LOL: Cortes
  88. “CORN POP! IT’S TIME WE FINISH THIS!”

  89. “For forty years I have been a tool of banks and credit-card companies, and yet I am poor,

    because I am a swimming pool to my people!”

  90. @Kronos
    Even Biden isn’t that senile. If he wins on a Biden/Clinton ticket he’ll be bumped off. They both draw from similar voting demographics and donors. There’s isn’t an extra party wing to bring in. That’s were Harris comes in.

    Agree about the overlap in perceived “lanes.” That’s one of the negatives. Though one of the positives would be the media swooning about the “dream team” (though they would swoon, I suppose, no matter whom he picks) and sort of a “do-over,” “redemption,” etc., etc.

    But that’s why I suggested that this was a test of Clinton party clout. Do they still have it?

    • Replies: @Kronos
    They might play the long game and get Chelsie involved.
    , @Kronos
    Still one of the best books I’ve read on the Hillary Campaign. Biden was their biggest focus until Sanders suddenly came out of nowhere. Hillary’s campaigners snatched up as many donors as possible that might’ve sided with Biden. Apparently, Biden sat on his hands for too long before Hillary won voter/donor supremacy. Not sure about the dynamics between the Obamas, Clintons’, or Biden.


    https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Inside-Hillary-Clintons-Campaign/dp/0553447084
  91. @Jesse
    That's a good point about the definition of white. I've seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.

    I’ve seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.

    Yes, they really do. When white liberals talk about how cool it would be if all white people ceased to exist what they actually mean is how cool it would be if all poor people and all rural people and all non-liberals ceased to exist.

    They don’t think of themselves as white people. They think of themselves as liberals. They naturally assume that all correct-thinking people love rich white liberals. No reasonable person would ever hate rich white liberals. How can you hate me – I have a rainbow flag flying from my house?

    Rootless cosmopolitans dream of a world of maximum diversity, in which everyone will be a rootless cosmopolitan.

  92. “I am a golden God!” is exactly what Robert Plant shouted from an L.A. hotel balcony in the early 70s, according to Stephen Davis in “Hammer of the Gods: the Led Zeppelin Saga”.

  93. @NJ Transit Commuter
    Slightly OT, but you gotta give Joe credit for getting himself in good shape at his age. You can Botox away wrinkles, but he’s had to lose a lot of weight. Hardly any gut on a 70+ man... Takes effort.

    Good tailor.

  94. @Jack D
    Blacks have higher bone density and sink like stones. Every summer they find a few black kids at the bottom of the public pools in Philadelphia. They sink down there and no one notices for a while.

    https://www.pennlive.com/news/2019/08/largely-absent-dad-blocked-from-getting-share-of-financial-settlement-over-4-year-old-sons-accidental-drowning.html

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool), and we had this ROTC guy who looked and sounded like the actor Clancy Brown except that he literally had no fat on his body, like a bodybuilder cut down for competition. He wanted us (swim team) to give him swimming lessons so he could graduate. He would get in a neutral position in the water and start kicking and stroking, and he would move in a diagonal direction–forward and down, slowly sinking as he swam. I’ve never seen anything like it.

    • Replies: @black sea
    Ga Tech?
    , @Jack D

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool),
     
    At one time many universities had swimming requirements (and a number of them still do) and at each university there is some urban legend as to why this requirement exists - the donor's son was on the Titanic and drowned, etc. These are all false.

    The real reason seems to be surprisingly lost in the mists of history but at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    https://www.columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/15/searching-origin-swimming-test/

  95. Biden trying to escape…
    “Go Go Gadget Commode!”

  96. @EdwardM
    I predict that if Biden gets the nomination, certain factions will pull out all the stops to get Hillary Clinton the VP slot.

    That may or may not be the best strategy for the Democrats -- there are certainly pros and cons. Race-hustlers will scream at the all-white ticket; I guess the question is whether the Clintons have enough juice left to make them accept it by muscling in while promising behind closed doors that one of their own will become VP when Hillary Clinton ascends to the presidency by the end of 2021.

    And if the Biden Hildabeast ticket wins, expect Biden to succumb to a sudden death by natural causes. Only argument will be the timing. Should it happen the day after the inauguration in January or the day after the election?

    • Replies: @EdwardM
    Hmm, a few options:

    -- Before inauguration, so Hillary gets the full term.
    -- January 21, so at least Biden goes in the history books as president. Presidents get their $400K salary for life; does a surviving spouse also get it?
    -- Around a month later, so he can at least surpass President William Henry Harrison and not set the record for shortest term.
    -- January 20, 2023, 12:01pm -- half a term and not a day more -- so Hillary can then get re-elected twice and serve the constitutional maximum of 10 years. (Not that her natural life expectancy is much more than Biden's.)
    , @Flip
    They had Hinckley wait a little over two months for Reagan.
  97. Joe Biden overseeing a slave auction (Fall 2019, colorized)

    • Agree: The Anti-Gnostic
  98. @Chrisnonymous
    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool), and we had this ROTC guy who looked and sounded like the actor Clancy Brown except that he literally had no fat on his body, like a bodybuilder cut down for competition. He wanted us (swim team) to give him swimming lessons so he could graduate. He would get in a neutral position in the water and start kicking and stroking, and he would move in a diagonal direction--forward and down, slowly sinking as he swam. I've never seen anything like it.

    Ga Tech?

    • Replies: @Chrisnonymous
    Nope!
  99. @Harry Baldwin
    Joe used to work out by swimming nude in the White House pool in front of female Secret Service agents.

    Somewhat correct. It was the pool at his house in Delaware. There is no pool in the White House.

    • Replies: @Harry Baldwin
    There is no pool in the White House.

    Granted, this one isn't "in" the White House, like FDR's old one currently underneath the press room.
    http://www.whitehousemuseum.org/grounds/pool.htm

  100. @PhysicistDave
    The real killer for Sleepy Uncle Joe may be the recent Fox News report that Joe told his fellow senators that he believed Clarence Thomas and thought Anita Hill was lying.

    The Hill-Thomas hearings were a key turning point for the Left. If this gets well-publicized (he was chairman of the Senate committee!), the Left could hound him out of the race.

    So, everyone: start spreading the word -- "Vice President Biden, exactly what did you tell your fellow Senators about Anita Hill???"

    That’s great but a Touchy Joe candidacy guarantees a Trump win.

    • Replies: @PhysicistDave
    J. Ross wrote to me:

    That’s great but a Touchy Joe candidacy guarantees a Trump win.
     
    I don't know -- Sleepy Joe was always a bit slow, but he was "respected" in DC, and Obama, who is obviously smarter than Biden, chose him for VP.

    So, Biden is senile now -- how many people will vote for him anyway because he's "a guy like us" and "he cares about people like me"?

    I think Trump is better off against Liz Warren. Yeah, she has an IQ 30 points higher than Joe's and Lix can speak in whole sentences.

    But she's unlikable. She's shrill and schoolmarmish. I honestly doubt there is a single male in the country (and not too many females) who really want to listen to this woman for four years.

    If Warren is the nominee, quite a few guys will tell the pollsters (and their wives!) that they're voting for Warren and then, in the privacy of the voting booth, it'll be the Donald.

    Kinda unfair: she might actually be a better President than Sleepy Uncle Joe.

    But that's how our culture works nowadays
  101. @Jesse
    That's a good point about the definition of white. I've seen white people (including but not limited to Jews) goad on anti white sentiment, and then be genuinely astonished when they themselves are targeted. They honestly see themselves as Not White.

    Stealth class hatred. “White people” = “flyover country hicks and the working class.”

  102. @Chrisnonymous
    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool), and we had this ROTC guy who looked and sounded like the actor Clancy Brown except that he literally had no fat on his body, like a bodybuilder cut down for competition. He wanted us (swim team) to give him swimming lessons so he could graduate. He would get in a neutral position in the water and start kicking and stroking, and he would move in a diagonal direction--forward and down, slowly sinking as he swam. I've never seen anything like it.

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool),

    At one time many universities had swimming requirements (and a number of them still do) and at each university there is some urban legend as to why this requirement exists – the donor’s son was on the Titanic and drowned, etc. These are all false.

    The real reason seems to be surprisingly lost in the mists of history but at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    https://www.columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/15/searching-origin-swimming-test/

    • Replies: @kaganovitch
    It probably goes back to antiquity.The Talmud lists swimming, as one of the things a father is obligated to teach his son.
    , @Haruto Rat

    at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.
     
    In the era of mechanical clocks, the ruling class could be right twice as often.
    , @Thirdtwin
    Fred Lanoue, the creator of the Drownproofing method, lived on the property behind me when I was a child. He taught Drownproofing at his pool for years, in addition to coaching and teaching swimming at Georgia Tech. From wiki:

    "Drownproofing was developed by swimming coach Fred Lanoue, known to students as Crankshaft because of his limping gait. It was first taught in 1940.[1] His method was so successful that it gained national recognition, and Georgia Tech soon made it a requirement for graduation..."

    I never took lessons from him, but some older neighbor kids did. We little ones were in awe of them and the stories they told about being tied up at the wrists and ankles and then dropped in the deep end, and rumors of accidental drownings during the Drownproofing test.

    , @The Germ Theory of Disease
    "Swim, Harry Elkins Widener, swim! It's only 100 yards to the lifeboat! You can make it!"

    "B-b-but I can only swim 99 yards... glub glub glub."
  103. @Jack D
    Leftist white people distinguish between goodwhites (themselves, feminists, gays, Jews, etc.) and badwhites (rural, racist, Trump voter, etc.) . When they carry those signs around saying "All white people must die" they mean only badwhites. Non-whites think all white people look alike.

    “All white people must die” they mean only badwhites

    I’m screwed

    • Replies: @Kronos
    Don’t worry, you can hide in my attic (AKA the Anne Frank suite.)

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb5b4oeGhz1rbhrb1o1_500.jpg

    In the meanwhile, I’ll hide in the basement. There’s a good tv and food down there.

  104. @bgates
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br6L5Bcieas

    Is this what the New York Times has in mind for “reparations?”

  105. @Alden
    And if the Biden Hildabeast ticket wins, expect Biden to succumb to a sudden death by natural causes. Only argument will be the timing. Should it happen the day after the inauguration in January or the day after the election?

    Hmm, a few options:

    — Before inauguration, so Hillary gets the full term.
    — January 21, so at least Biden goes in the history books as president. Presidents get their $400K salary for life; does a surviving spouse also get it?
    — Around a month later, so he can at least surpass President William Henry Harrison and not set the record for shortest term.
    — January 20, 2023, 12:01pm — half a term and not a day more — so Hillary can then get re-elected twice and serve the constitutional maximum of 10 years. (Not that her natural life expectancy is much more than Biden’s.)

  106. @Jack D

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool),
     
    At one time many universities had swimming requirements (and a number of them still do) and at each university there is some urban legend as to why this requirement exists - the donor's son was on the Titanic and drowned, etc. These are all false.

    The real reason seems to be surprisingly lost in the mists of history but at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    https://www.columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/15/searching-origin-swimming-test/

    It probably goes back to antiquity.The Talmud lists swimming, as one of the things a father is obligated to teach his son.

    • Replies: @Jack D
    I don't think so. Ancient wisdom goes in and out of fashion. I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water (and even a lot of those guys would drown when swept overboard) or was seen as some kind of eccentric activity indulged in by some but not something universal. The introduction of the modern Olympic games in 1896 provided a boost to swimming as well as the world wars where a lot of Americans found themselves out at sea and possible targets for German torpedoes. The university swimming requirements (as well as the swimming pools themselves) all date from the early to the mid 20th century and not before. Before the era of swimming pools there were many places where there was no natural safe place to teach swimming.
  107. @EdwardM
    Agree about the overlap in perceived "lanes." That's one of the negatives. Though one of the positives would be the media swooning about the "dream team" (though they would swoon, I suppose, no matter whom he picks) and sort of a "do-over," "redemption," etc., etc.

    But that's why I suggested that this was a test of Clinton party clout. Do they still have it?

    They might play the long game and get Chelsie involved.

  108. @Jack D

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool),
     
    At one time many universities had swimming requirements (and a number of them still do) and at each university there is some urban legend as to why this requirement exists - the donor's son was on the Titanic and drowned, etc. These are all false.

    The real reason seems to be surprisingly lost in the mists of history but at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    https://www.columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/15/searching-origin-swimming-test/

    at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    In the era of mechanical clocks, the ruling class could be right twice as often.

    • LOL: kaganovitch
  109. Joe Biden had his brain operated on two different times. Something happened ain’t just a book by Heller!

    Joe Biden’s brain operations have possibly screwed up his ability to think properly.

    A story — perhaps true — making the rounds in political circles is that Biden’s brain surgeon accidentally left a golf tee inside Biden’s pumpkin head while using his precision surgical reciprocal saw to cut out Biden’s brain malfunction.

    Another story — perhaps apocryphal — is that the brain surgeon in Biden’s second brain surgery accidentally left an extra clip inside Biden’s concrete potato salad brain. One clip was used to pinch the aneurysm that was making Biden batty, but the extra clip was left by accident. That clip is now pinching the portion of the brain responsible for making people somewhat logical. This explains why Biden is an irresponsible, illogical politician whore of the worst sort.

    Joe Biden pushes mass legal immigration and mass illegal immigration and REFUGEE OVERLOAD and ASYLUM SEEKER INUNDATION and unnecessary overseas war and financialization and globalization and trade deal scams and anti-White multiculturalism.

    https://www.nytimes.com/1988/05/04/us/biden-resting-after-surgery-for-second-brain-aneurysm.html

    • Replies: @Anonymous
    Speaking of Hellers, the Backward has some amusement for us:


    The Best Obituary Ever, and the Wacky Funeral That Followed

    A Connecticut prankster’s newspaper eulogy has captured hearts from London to Pittsburgh and back.

    Friday’s funeral for Joe Heller, a Connecticut town constable, snowplow operator, crossing guard, dogcatcher — and prankster.
    Corey Kilgannon

    By Corey Kilgannon

    Sept. 15, 2019

    CENTERBROOK, CONN. — Joe Heller always wanted to have the last laugh.

    So when he died at 82 on Sept. 8, his daughter Monique Heller sought to provide it by writing a paid obituary in the local paper describing her father’s inimitably irreverent and preposterous personality.

    Her humorous tribute was published — online and in print — last week in The Hartford Courant and immediately caught digital fire.

    Readers loved the infectious account of this small town Everyman who embodied the tight-knit nature of this hamlet near the Connecticut River, between New Haven and New London.

    Mr. Heller was 82 when he died last Sunday.

    The obituary listed achievements such as being a “consummate napper” and a regular browser of collectibles at the local dump.



    “There wasn’t a road, restaurant or friend’s house in Essex that he didn’t fall asleep on or in,” Ms. Heller wrote, adding that her father “left his family with a house full of crap, 300 pounds of birdseed and dead houseplants that they have no idea what to do with.”

    Unlock more free articles.

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    Ms. Heller wrote that her father had warned her against a fancy send-off when he died, preferring that his family “dig a hole in the backyard and just roll him in.”

    “He said, ‘I don’t want any of that funeral home stuff,’” she said, employing an off-color word for stuff.

    They disappointed him with a festive memorial Thursday evening at the town firehouse, where everyone told Joe Heller stories. The obituary implored attendees to wear “the most inappropriate T-shirt that you are comfortable being seen in public with, as Joe often did.”

    Advertisement

    On Friday morning, Mr. Heller’s body, in a coffin draped with an American flag, was placed on the 1941 Mack fire truck he helped restore and taken to Centerbrook Cemetery to be buried next to his wife, Irene, who died in 2015, and whom he embarrassed daily “with his mouth and choice of clothing,” according to the obituary.
    ImageMr. Heller’s body was carried on the 1941 Mack fire truck he had helped to restore.
    Mr. Heller’s body was carried on the 1941 Mack fire truck he had helped to restore.CreditMonica Jorge for The New York Times

    Family members followed the fire truck in Mr. Heller’s immaculately restored 1932 Plymouth roadster with, as per his request, a set of plastic testicles dangling from the rear bumper.

    Mr. Heller’s obit was shared widely on social media, first locally among his many friends in town and then around the world, leading to articles in countless news outlets.

    Ms. Heller said on Friday that, “My friend told me that my obit started a new category called Joe-bituaries. She said, ‘You just put the ‘fun’ in funeral.’”

    While many paid obituaries are often brief, grievous catalogs of survivors and funeral information, Ms. Heller’s submission was a snappy, unvarnished take on her father as one of the great pranksters in Middlesex County, Conn.

    “God thankfully broke the mold after Joe was born,” she wrote.

    Ms. Heller, the youngest of Mr. Heller’s three daughters, recalled her father’s doctor approaching them toward the end of Mr. Heller’s life and informing them that he was “a very sick man.”


    Their humorous response: “You have no idea.”

    The obit chronicled Mr. Heller’s wry outlook and his constant pranks, from passing laxative-filled cake off to friends who pilfered his lunch to bestowing his dogs with off-color names (the better to make loved ones blush when calling the animal).

    “I wrote the obit for his local cronies and friends and never thought it would go any further, but I guess it just resounds with people,” Ms. Heller said, adding that comments and condolences have come in “from all 50 states” as well as several countries, including from as far as Australia and New Zealand.

    “My friend told me that my obit started a new category called Joe-bituaries. She said, ‘You just put the ‘fun’ in funeral,’” Mr. Heller’s daughter said.


    “I’m thankful to the universe that this message of love went viral,” wrote “Dawn from Canada.”

    “Sounds like he was an amazing bloke,” wrote John Williams from London.

    “Good ole Joe could have been my relative — lol,” wrote Bruce Freshwater from Pittsburgh.

    As a young man, Mr. Heller worked as a library assistant at the Yale Law School library before joining the Navy. With no money for college, he managed to secure a job as a self-taught chemist at a local makeup company, where he developed its early cosmetic lines.

    When the company moved to Greenwich, Conn., Mr. Heller decided the new town would be too rich for his blood, and he opted to give up the job to stay in Centerbrook, among the working-class friends he treasured, Ms. Heller said.

    “He was proud of being a blue-collar guy and not part of the old or new money of Essex,” she said of the municipality that includes Centerbrook and has affluent sections and a wealthy summer contingent with yachts and second homes.


    Ms. Heller’s obituary noted that her father considered many of these people “wannabe blue bloods, snoots and summer barnacles that roamed about town.”

    Mr. Heller was also proud to be a local civil servant, as a longstanding member of the Essex Volunteer Fire Department and a founder of the local ambulance corps.

    He also worked variously as town constable, snowplow operator, crossing guard and dogcatcher, she said.

    “He got these jobs because he was the go-to guy in town,” Ms. Heller said. “When the town needed something done, they’d just call Joe.”

    As dogcatcher, he customized the wording on his truck to read “Dawg Kecher,” and he staunchly refused to follow local guidelines requiring the euthanizing of some dogs.

    Ms. Heller said her father raised his daughters on a steady diet of television characters like Archie Bunker and Benny Hill.


    When young men sought to pick his daughters up for a date, Mr. Heller would first run their license plates and check their vehicles for safety, including an inspection of how worn their tires were.

    When suitors entered the home, he made sure to be cleaning one of his guns, and that his collection of shotguns and harpoons were clearly on display, Ms. Heller said.

    On Friday morning, a Navy honor guard — long known as the Antique Veterans Organization because of its aging membership — delivered a rifle salute, played taps and performed a ceremonial flag-folding ceremony.

    The honor guard’s commander, Joseph Barry, admitted that Mr. Heller would have “dropped a few F-bombs” in declaring the whole thing superfluous.

    After the burial, Ms. Heller held the American flag presented in her father’s honor and said perhaps the obit had struck a chord with regular people.

    “People like my dad are the backbone of this country,” she said, “and I think the world wants to hear their stories.’’

    Corey Kilgannon is a Metro reporter covering news and human interest stories. He was also part of the team that won the 2009 Pulitzer Prize for Breaking News. @coreykilgannon • Facebook
     
  110. @Jack D

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool),
     
    At one time many universities had swimming requirements (and a number of them still do) and at each university there is some urban legend as to why this requirement exists - the donor's son was on the Titanic and drowned, etc. These are all false.

    The real reason seems to be surprisingly lost in the mists of history but at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    https://www.columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/15/searching-origin-swimming-test/

    Fred Lanoue, the creator of the Drownproofing method, lived on the property behind me when I was a child. He taught Drownproofing at his pool for years, in addition to coaching and teaching swimming at Georgia Tech. From wiki:

    “Drownproofing was developed by swimming coach Fred Lanoue, known to students as Crankshaft because of his limping gait. It was first taught in 1940.[1] His method was so successful that it gained national recognition, and Georgia Tech soon made it a requirement for graduation…”

    I never took lessons from him, but some older neighbor kids did. We little ones were in awe of them and the stories they told about being tied up at the wrists and ankles and then dropped in the deep end, and rumors of accidental drownings during the Drownproofing test.

  111. @kaganovitch
    It probably goes back to antiquity.The Talmud lists swimming, as one of the things a father is obligated to teach his son.

    I don’t think so. Ancient wisdom goes in and out of fashion. I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water (and even a lot of those guys would drown when swept overboard) or was seen as some kind of eccentric activity indulged in by some but not something universal. The introduction of the modern Olympic games in 1896 provided a boost to swimming as well as the world wars where a lot of Americans found themselves out at sea and possible targets for German torpedoes. The university swimming requirements (as well as the swimming pools themselves) all date from the early to the mid 20th century and not before. Before the era of swimming pools there were many places where there was no natural safe place to teach swimming.

    • Replies: @dfordoom

    I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water
     
    The story I've heard (which may of course be an urban legend) is that most sailors in the age of sail preferred not to know how to swim. If the ship sank they wanted to drown quickly rather than become food for sharks.
  112. @Jim Don Bob
    Somewhat correct. It was the pool at his house in Delaware. There is no pool in the White House.

    There is no pool in the White House.

    Granted, this one isn’t “in” the White House, like FDR’s old one currently underneath the press room.
    http://www.whitehousemuseum.org/grounds/pool.htm

  113. @Jack D

    My university had a swimming requirement for graduation (condition of the donor who built the pool),
     
    At one time many universities had swimming requirements (and a number of them still do) and at each university there is some urban legend as to why this requirement exists - the donor's son was on the Titanic and drowned, etc. These are all false.

    The real reason seems to be surprisingly lost in the mists of history but at some point our ruling class thought that being able to swim was a really good thing that everyone should know.

    https://www.columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/15/searching-origin-swimming-test/

    “Swim, Harry Elkins Widener, swim! It’s only 100 yards to the lifeboat! You can make it!”

    “B-b-but I can only swim 99 yards… glub glub glub.”

  114. @Tipsy
    Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Joe Biden?
    A: Joe Biden was the King of Popcorn.

    Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Joe Biden?
    A: Michael Jackson only touched children.

    It’s a joke.

  115. @William Badwhite

    “All white people must die” they mean only badwhites

     

    I'm screwed

    Don’t worry, you can hide in my attic (AKA the Anne Frank suite.)

    In the meanwhile, I’ll hide in the basement. There’s a good tv and food down there.

    • Replies: @William Badwhite
    Thanks! You're a good man Kronos, no matter what everybody else says. Just kidding (about the last part, not about the good man part).
  116. @eah
    "America hasn't moved drastically far enough away from the nadir of its history"

    https://twitter.com/TheAtlantic/status/1173412509690335232

    Is The Atlantic is implying slavery still exists? Sees far fetched–or insane.

    • Replies: @eah
    It's not about slavery -- the author is a Jew whose entire life has been and is spent stoking white guilt:

    As an American Jew from the South who has lived in Berlin for decades, I’ve been asked whether Americans, in contemplating a plantation home, Confederate statue, or some other monument to our nation’s slave past, should emulate the way Germans treat Nazi memorials. To which I respond: There aren’t any. Germany has no monuments that celebrate the Nazi armed forces, however many grandfathers fought or fell for them. Instead, it has a dizzying number and variety of monuments to the victims of its murderous racism.

    The deliberate national penance that most Germans now take for granted offers a striking contrast with the ways Americans have confronted our own national crimes.
     
    The "penance" she wants is the complete surrender of Whites and white countries: the abandonment of any sense of ethnic identity or solidarity by Whites, including that their countries, white countries, are worth preserving.
  117. @Buzz Mohawk
    "I once caught a fish that was this big, right here in this big fucking pool, while the Taliban were shooting at me."

    Sounds more like a Hillary “under fire” story.

  118. “They say this cat Biden is a bad mother……”

    • Replies: @Anonymousse
    Shut yo mouf
  119. @EdwardM
    Agree about the overlap in perceived "lanes." That's one of the negatives. Though one of the positives would be the media swooning about the "dream team" (though they would swoon, I suppose, no matter whom he picks) and sort of a "do-over," "redemption," etc., etc.

    But that's why I suggested that this was a test of Clinton party clout. Do they still have it?

    Still one of the best books I’ve read on the Hillary Campaign. Biden was their biggest focus until Sanders suddenly came out of nowhere. Hillary’s campaigners snatched up as many donors as possible that might’ve sided with Biden. Apparently, Biden sat on his hands for too long before Hillary won voter/donor supremacy. Not sure about the dynamics between the Obamas, Clintons’, or Biden.

  120. @Kronos
    Don’t worry, you can hide in my attic (AKA the Anne Frank suite.)

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb5b4oeGhz1rbhrb1o1_500.jpg

    In the meanwhile, I’ll hide in the basement. There’s a good tv and food down there.

    Thanks! You’re a good man Kronos, no matter what everybody else says. Just kidding (about the last part, not about the good man part).

    • Replies: @Kronos
    I wouldn’t want it any other way.
  121. @Alden
    And if the Biden Hildabeast ticket wins, expect Biden to succumb to a sudden death by natural causes. Only argument will be the timing. Should it happen the day after the inauguration in January or the day after the election?

    They had Hinckley wait a little over two months for Reagan.

  122. @Jack D
    I don't think so. Ancient wisdom goes in and out of fashion. I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water (and even a lot of those guys would drown when swept overboard) or was seen as some kind of eccentric activity indulged in by some but not something universal. The introduction of the modern Olympic games in 1896 provided a boost to swimming as well as the world wars where a lot of Americans found themselves out at sea and possible targets for German torpedoes. The university swimming requirements (as well as the swimming pools themselves) all date from the early to the mid 20th century and not before. Before the era of swimming pools there were many places where there was no natural safe place to teach swimming.

    I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water

    The story I’ve heard (which may of course be an urban legend) is that most sailors in the age of sail preferred not to know how to swim. If the ship sank they wanted to drown quickly rather than become food for sharks.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    Benjamin Franklin was a professional swimming instructor in England during a sojourn in his early 20s. He grew up on the docks in Boston (Boston was about 90% water back then -- there has been huge amounts of landfill since). Rich people in England hired him to teach them and their kids the breast stroke.
    , @Harry Baldwin
    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don't think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn't be able to stop the ship for you.
    , @Anonymous
    I believe the British navy discouraged its sailors from learning to swim to discourage desertion.

    Anyway, sailors were a superstitious bunch with a lot of strange beliefs. Believing that learning to swim is unlucky is no stranger than....

    No women, no priests, don't whistle while at sea, don't rename ships, certain tattoos will prevent you drowning, don't wear green, don't board a ship if you see a rabbit, don't mention rabbits at all while at sea, don't kill certain birds and sea creatures, earrings improve your eyesight, using candles to light other candles is unlucky, going to sea on Friday is unlucky...

    Has there ever been a more superstitious profession?

  123. @dfordoom

    I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water
     
    The story I've heard (which may of course be an urban legend) is that most sailors in the age of sail preferred not to know how to swim. If the ship sank they wanted to drown quickly rather than become food for sharks.

    Benjamin Franklin was a professional swimming instructor in England during a sojourn in his early 20s. He grew up on the docks in Boston (Boston was about 90% water back then — there has been huge amounts of landfill since). Rich people in England hired him to teach them and their kids the breast stroke.

  124. @William Badwhite
    Thanks! You're a good man Kronos, no matter what everybody else says. Just kidding (about the last part, not about the good man part).

    I wouldn’t want it any other way.

  125. Joe let out a mighty wail when his hemorrhoid ring slipped.

    WORLD STAR HIP HOP!!!!!

  126. @dfordoom

    I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water
     
    The story I've heard (which may of course be an urban legend) is that most sailors in the age of sail preferred not to know how to swim. If the ship sank they wanted to drown quickly rather than become food for sharks.

    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don’t think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn’t be able to stop the ship for you.

    • Replies: @dfordoom

    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don’t think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn’t be able to stop the ship for you.
     
    Yes. And given that unfortunate fact you wouldn't want something that would buy you any time at all. You'd want to go straight down to Davy Jones's Locker. You definitely don't want to be still alive when the sharks arrive.
    , @Anonymousse
    I expect they would be expected to stop the ship if they knew someone was overboard PROVIDED anyone noticed in time.

    The alternative sounds suspiciously like one of the tiresome modern fictions about how dirty and terrible everything in europe was before liberalism and its blessed heir neoliberalism made everything wonderful and civilized. Our history filtered through the eyes of jewish HBO writers basically.

    Remember when Athens actually executed most of its *victorious* generals for negligently allowing sailors to drown?

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Arginusae

    Moving forward some wasn’t it an odd choice that anyone went so far as to specifically breed lifeguard DOGS (Newfoundlands) since everyone so enjoyed the spectacle of watching their friends drowning deaths?

    https://books.google.com/books?id=_jhJAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA173#v=onepage&q&f=false

    I do know of ONE group that is documented to find drowning funny though...

    https://nypost.com/2017/07/20/oh-he-just-died-disturbing-video-shows-teens-mocking-drowning-man/
    , @Reg Cæsar

    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don’t think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn’t be able to stop the ship for you.
     
    John Howland fell off the Mayflower and lived to tell about it. And had 88 grandchildren.

    https://s3.amazonaws.com/photos.geni.com/p13/57/1f/08/c8/5344483f3e5fbc1b/john_howland_6_original.jpg

  127. @Harry Baldwin
    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don't think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn't be able to stop the ship for you.

    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don’t think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn’t be able to stop the ship for you.

    Yes. And given that unfortunate fact you wouldn’t want something that would buy you any time at all. You’d want to go straight down to Davy Jones’s Locker. You definitely don’t want to be still alive when the sharks arrive.

  128. @Tony
    "They say this cat Biden is a bad mother......"

    Shut yo mouf

  129. @Harry Baldwin
    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don't think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn't be able to stop the ship for you.

    I expect they would be expected to stop the ship if they knew someone was overboard PROVIDED anyone noticed in time.

    The alternative sounds suspiciously like one of the tiresome modern fictions about how dirty and terrible everything in europe was before liberalism and its blessed heir neoliberalism made everything wonderful and civilized. Our history filtered through the eyes of jewish HBO writers basically.

    Remember when Athens actually executed most of its *victorious* generals for negligently allowing sailors to drown?

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Arginusae

    Moving forward some wasn’t it an odd choice that anyone went so far as to specifically breed lifeguard DOGS (Newfoundlands) since everyone so enjoyed the spectacle of watching their friends drowning deaths?

    https://books.google.com/books?id=_jhJAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA173#v=onepage&q&f=false

    I do know of ONE group that is documented to find drowning funny though…

    https://nypost.com/2017/07/20/oh-he-just-died-disturbing-video-shows-teens-mocking-drowning-man/

  130. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:
    @Charles Pewitt
    Joe Biden had his brain operated on two different times. Something happened ain't just a book by Heller!

    Joe Biden's brain operations have possibly screwed up his ability to think properly.

    A story -- perhaps true -- making the rounds in political circles is that Biden's brain surgeon accidentally left a golf tee inside Biden's pumpkin head while using his precision surgical reciprocal saw to cut out Biden's brain malfunction.

    Another story -- perhaps apocryphal -- is that the brain surgeon in Biden's second brain surgery accidentally left an extra clip inside Biden's concrete potato salad brain. One clip was used to pinch the aneurysm that was making Biden batty, but the extra clip was left by accident. That clip is now pinching the portion of the brain responsible for making people somewhat logical. This explains why Biden is an irresponsible, illogical politician whore of the worst sort.

    Joe Biden pushes mass legal immigration and mass illegal immigration and REFUGEE OVERLOAD and ASYLUM SEEKER INUNDATION and unnecessary overseas war and financialization and globalization and trade deal scams and anti-White multiculturalism.

    https://www.nytimes.com/1988/05/04/us/biden-resting-after-surgery-for-second-brain-aneurysm.html

    Speaking of Hellers, the Backward has some amusement for us:

    The Best Obituary Ever, and the Wacky Funeral That Followed

    A Connecticut prankster’s newspaper eulogy has captured hearts from London to Pittsburgh and back.

    Friday’s funeral for Joe Heller, a Connecticut town constable, snowplow operator, crossing guard, dogcatcher — and prankster.
    Corey Kilgannon

    By Corey Kilgannon

    Sept. 15, 2019

    CENTERBROOK, CONN. — Joe Heller always wanted to have the last laugh.

    So when he died at 82 on Sept. 8, his daughter Monique Heller sought to provide it by writing a paid obituary in the local paper describing her father’s inimitably irreverent and preposterous personality.

    Her humorous tribute was published — online and in print — last week in The Hartford Courant and immediately caught digital fire.

    Readers loved the infectious account of this small town Everyman who embodied the tight-knit nature of this hamlet near the Connecticut River, between New Haven and New London.

    Mr. Heller was 82 when he died last Sunday.

    The obituary listed achievements such as being a “consummate napper” and a regular browser of collectibles at the local dump.

    “There wasn’t a road, restaurant or friend’s house in Essex that he didn’t fall asleep on or in,” Ms. Heller wrote, adding that her father “left his family with a house full of crap, 300 pounds of birdseed and dead houseplants that they have no idea what to do with.”

    Unlock more free articles.

    Create an account or log in

    Ms. Heller wrote that her father had warned her against a fancy send-off when he died, preferring that his family “dig a hole in the backyard and just roll him in.”

    “He said, ‘I don’t want any of that funeral home stuff,’” she said, employing an off-color word for stuff.

    They disappointed him with a festive memorial Thursday evening at the town firehouse, where everyone told Joe Heller stories. The obituary implored attendees to wear “the most inappropriate T-shirt that you are comfortable being seen in public with, as Joe often did.”

    Advertisement

    On Friday morning, Mr. Heller’s body, in a coffin draped with an American flag, was placed on the 1941 Mack fire truck he helped restore and taken to Centerbrook Cemetery to be buried next to his wife, Irene, who died in 2015, and whom he embarrassed daily “with his mouth and choice of clothing,” according to the obituary.
    ImageMr. Heller’s body was carried on the 1941 Mack fire truck he had helped to restore.
    Mr. Heller’s body was carried on the 1941 Mack fire truck he had helped to restore.CreditMonica Jorge for The New York Times

    Family members followed the fire truck in Mr. Heller’s immaculately restored 1932 Plymouth roadster with, as per his request, a set of plastic testicles dangling from the rear bumper.

    Mr. Heller’s obit was shared widely on social media, first locally among his many friends in town and then around the world, leading to articles in countless news outlets.

    Ms. Heller said on Friday that, “My friend told me that my obit started a new category called Joe-bituaries. She said, ‘You just put the ‘fun’ in funeral.’”

    While many paid obituaries are often brief, grievous catalogs of survivors and funeral information, Ms. Heller’s submission was a snappy, unvarnished take on her father as one of the great pranksters in Middlesex County, Conn.

    “God thankfully broke the mold after Joe was born,” she wrote.

    Ms. Heller, the youngest of Mr. Heller’s three daughters, recalled her father’s doctor approaching them toward the end of Mr. Heller’s life and informing them that he was “a very sick man.”

    Their humorous response: “You have no idea.”

    The obit chronicled Mr. Heller’s wry outlook and his constant pranks, from passing laxative-filled cake off to friends who pilfered his lunch to bestowing his dogs with off-color names (the better to make loved ones blush when calling the animal).

    “I wrote the obit for his local cronies and friends and never thought it would go any further, but I guess it just resounds with people,” Ms. Heller said, adding that comments and condolences have come in “from all 50 states” as well as several countries, including from as far as Australia and New Zealand.

    “My friend told me that my obit started a new category called Joe-bituaries. She said, ‘You just put the ‘fun’ in funeral,’” Mr. Heller’s daughter said.

    “I’m thankful to the universe that this message of love went viral,” wrote “Dawn from Canada.”

    “Sounds like he was an amazing bloke,” wrote John Williams from London.

    “Good ole Joe could have been my relative — lol,” wrote Bruce Freshwater from Pittsburgh.

    As a young man, Mr. Heller worked as a library assistant at the Yale Law School library before joining the Navy. With no money for college, he managed to secure a job as a self-taught chemist at a local makeup company, where he developed its early cosmetic lines.

    When the company moved to Greenwich, Conn., Mr. Heller decided the new town would be too rich for his blood, and he opted to give up the job to stay in Centerbrook, among the working-class friends he treasured, Ms. Heller said.

    “He was proud of being a blue-collar guy and not part of the old or new money of Essex,” she said of the municipality that includes Centerbrook and has affluent sections and a wealthy summer contingent with yachts and second homes.

    Ms. Heller’s obituary noted that her father considered many of these people “wannabe blue bloods, snoots and summer barnacles that roamed about town.”

    Mr. Heller was also proud to be a local civil servant, as a longstanding member of the Essex Volunteer Fire Department and a founder of the local ambulance corps.

    He also worked variously as town constable, snowplow operator, crossing guard and dogcatcher, she said.

    “He got these jobs because he was the go-to guy in town,” Ms. Heller said. “When the town needed something done, they’d just call Joe.”

    As dogcatcher, he customized the wording on his truck to read “Dawg Kecher,” and he staunchly refused to follow local guidelines requiring the euthanizing of some dogs.

    Ms. Heller said her father raised his daughters on a steady diet of television characters like Archie Bunker and Benny Hill.

    When young men sought to pick his daughters up for a date, Mr. Heller would first run their license plates and check their vehicles for safety, including an inspection of how worn their tires were.

    When suitors entered the home, he made sure to be cleaning one of his guns, and that his collection of shotguns and harpoons were clearly on display, Ms. Heller said.

    On Friday morning, a Navy honor guard — long known as the Antique Veterans Organization because of its aging membership — delivered a rifle salute, played taps and performed a ceremonial flag-folding ceremony.

    The honor guard’s commander, Joseph Barry, admitted that Mr. Heller would have “dropped a few F-bombs” in declaring the whole thing superfluous.

    After the burial, Ms. Heller held the American flag presented in her father’s honor and said perhaps the obit had struck a chord with regular people.

    “People like my dad are the backbone of this country,” she said, “and I think the world wants to hear their stories.’’

    Corey Kilgannon is a Metro reporter covering news and human interest stories. He was also part of the team that won the 2009 Pulitzer Prize for Breaking News. @coreykilgannon • Facebook

  131. Anonymous[129] • Disclaimer says:
    @dfordoom

    I think up until the end of the 19th century, swimming was an activity engaged in mainly by fisherman and sailors and others who had a professional need to be around the water
     
    The story I've heard (which may of course be an urban legend) is that most sailors in the age of sail preferred not to know how to swim. If the ship sank they wanted to drown quickly rather than become food for sharks.

    I believe the British navy discouraged its sailors from learning to swim to discourage desertion.

    Anyway, sailors were a superstitious bunch with a lot of strange beliefs. Believing that learning to swim is unlucky is no stranger than….

    No women, no priests, don’t whistle while at sea, don’t rename ships, certain tattoos will prevent you drowning, don’t wear green, don’t board a ship if you see a rabbit, don’t mention rabbits at all while at sea, don’t kill certain birds and sea creatures, earrings improve your eyesight, using candles to light other candles is unlucky, going to sea on Friday is unlucky…

    Has there ever been a more superstitious profession?

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
    Being a sailor in the age of sail was a pretty terrifying profession.
    , @J.Ross
    Rabbi.
  132. @Anonymous
    I believe the British navy discouraged its sailors from learning to swim to discourage desertion.

    Anyway, sailors were a superstitious bunch with a lot of strange beliefs. Believing that learning to swim is unlucky is no stranger than....

    No women, no priests, don't whistle while at sea, don't rename ships, certain tattoos will prevent you drowning, don't wear green, don't board a ship if you see a rabbit, don't mention rabbits at all while at sea, don't kill certain birds and sea creatures, earrings improve your eyesight, using candles to light other candles is unlucky, going to sea on Friday is unlucky...

    Has there ever been a more superstitious profession?

    Being a sailor in the age of sail was a pretty terrifying profession.

  133. @J.Ross
    That's great but a Touchy Joe candidacy guarantees a Trump win.

    J. Ross wrote to me:

    That’s great but a Touchy Joe candidacy guarantees a Trump win.

    I don’t know — Sleepy Joe was always a bit slow, but he was “respected” in DC, and Obama, who is obviously smarter than Biden, chose him for VP.

    So, Biden is senile now — how many people will vote for him anyway because he’s “a guy like us” and “he cares about people like me”?

    I think Trump is better off against Liz Warren. Yeah, she has an IQ 30 points higher than Joe’s and Lix can speak in whole sentences.

    But she’s unlikable. She’s shrill and schoolmarmish. I honestly doubt there is a single male in the country (and not too many females) who really want to listen to this woman for four years.

    If Warren is the nominee, quite a few guys will tell the pollsters (and their wives!) that they’re voting for Warren and then, in the privacy of the voting booth, it’ll be the Donald.

    Kinda unfair: she might actually be a better President than Sleepy Uncle Joe.

    But that’s how our culture works nowadays

  134. @Forbes
    Is The Atlantic is implying slavery still exists? Sees far fetched--or insane.

    It’s not about slavery — the author is a Jew whose entire life has been and is spent stoking white guilt:

    As an American Jew from the South who has lived in Berlin for decades, I’ve been asked whether Americans, in contemplating a plantation home, Confederate statue, or some other monument to our nation’s slave past, should emulate the way Germans treat Nazi memorials. To which I respond: There aren’t any. Germany has no monuments that celebrate the Nazi armed forces, however many grandfathers fought or fell for them. Instead, it has a dizzying number and variety of monuments to the victims of its murderous racism.

    The deliberate national penance that most Germans now take for granted offers a striking contrast with the ways Americans have confronted our own national crimes.

    The “penance” she wants is the complete surrender of Whites and white countries: the abandonment of any sense of ethnic identity or solidarity by Whites, including that their countries, white countries, are worth preserving.

    • Replies: @Anonymous
    To be fair, Christians really like feeling guilty. Sure Jews exploit this, but to focus solely on them is simplistic. It's more like the relationship between an addict and his dealer.
    , @black sea
    I read her essay as well. About America's legacy of slavery and segregation she has a volumes to say. About Germany's Nazi past and ever insufficient attempts at atonement, she lavishes great attention.

    However, she also lived in and acquired citizenship in Israel. About the treatment of Palestinians as a matter of Zionist history and contemporary practice within Israel and on the West Bank, zilch.
  135. @eah
    It's not about slavery -- the author is a Jew whose entire life has been and is spent stoking white guilt:

    As an American Jew from the South who has lived in Berlin for decades, I’ve been asked whether Americans, in contemplating a plantation home, Confederate statue, or some other monument to our nation’s slave past, should emulate the way Germans treat Nazi memorials. To which I respond: There aren’t any. Germany has no monuments that celebrate the Nazi armed forces, however many grandfathers fought or fell for them. Instead, it has a dizzying number and variety of monuments to the victims of its murderous racism.

    The deliberate national penance that most Germans now take for granted offers a striking contrast with the ways Americans have confronted our own national crimes.
     
    The "penance" she wants is the complete surrender of Whites and white countries: the abandonment of any sense of ethnic identity or solidarity by Whites, including that their countries, white countries, are worth preserving.

    To be fair, Christians really like feeling guilty. Sure Jews exploit this, but to focus solely on them is simplistic. It’s more like the relationship between an addict and his dealer.

    • Replies: @eah
    In this context I'm not interested in being fair -- I'm interested in waking up more Whites to what a bad idea it is to allow their countries to be overrun/taken over/themselves to be ruled by non-whites.
  136. @eah
    It's not about slavery -- the author is a Jew whose entire life has been and is spent stoking white guilt:

    As an American Jew from the South who has lived in Berlin for decades, I’ve been asked whether Americans, in contemplating a plantation home, Confederate statue, or some other monument to our nation’s slave past, should emulate the way Germans treat Nazi memorials. To which I respond: There aren’t any. Germany has no monuments that celebrate the Nazi armed forces, however many grandfathers fought or fell for them. Instead, it has a dizzying number and variety of monuments to the victims of its murderous racism.

    The deliberate national penance that most Germans now take for granted offers a striking contrast with the ways Americans have confronted our own national crimes.
     
    The "penance" she wants is the complete surrender of Whites and white countries: the abandonment of any sense of ethnic identity or solidarity by Whites, including that their countries, white countries, are worth preserving.

    I read her essay as well. About America’s legacy of slavery and segregation she has a volumes to say. About Germany’s Nazi past and ever insufficient attempts at atonement, she lavishes great attention.

    However, she also lived in and acquired citizenship in Israel. About the treatment of Palestinians as a matter of Zionist history and contemporary practice within Israel and on the West Bank, zilch.

    • Replies: @eah
    About the treatment of Palestinians as a matter of Zionist history and contemporary practice within Israel and on the West Bank, zilch.

    You have to read German language sources -- a brief look finds this:

    Neiman: "Europa sollte Palästina anerkennen"

    Here she says the EU/European countries should extend diplomatic recognition to Palestine (ie the West Bank and Gaza Strip) -- seems among Zionists she would/may be considered a moderate -- but I don't really care and won't look further (check her book titles to see what mostly interests her).

  137. @black sea
    I read her essay as well. About America's legacy of slavery and segregation she has a volumes to say. About Germany's Nazi past and ever insufficient attempts at atonement, she lavishes great attention.

    However, she also lived in and acquired citizenship in Israel. About the treatment of Palestinians as a matter of Zionist history and contemporary practice within Israel and on the West Bank, zilch.

    About the treatment of Palestinians as a matter of Zionist history and contemporary practice within Israel and on the West Bank, zilch.

    You have to read German language sources — a brief look finds this:

    Neiman: “Europa sollte Palästina anerkennen”

    Here she says the EU/European countries should extend diplomatic recognition to Palestine (ie the West Bank and Gaza Strip) — seems among Zionists she would/may be considered a moderate — but I don’t really care and won’t look further (check her book titles to see what mostly interests her).

  138. @Anonymous
    To be fair, Christians really like feeling guilty. Sure Jews exploit this, but to focus solely on them is simplistic. It's more like the relationship between an addict and his dealer.

    In this context I’m not interested in being fair — I’m interested in waking up more Whites to what a bad idea it is to allow their countries to be overrun/taken over/themselves to be ruled by non-whites.

  139. @Anonymous
    I believe the British navy discouraged its sailors from learning to swim to discourage desertion.

    Anyway, sailors were a superstitious bunch with a lot of strange beliefs. Believing that learning to swim is unlucky is no stranger than....

    No women, no priests, don't whistle while at sea, don't rename ships, certain tattoos will prevent you drowning, don't wear green, don't board a ship if you see a rabbit, don't mention rabbits at all while at sea, don't kill certain birds and sea creatures, earrings improve your eyesight, using candles to light other candles is unlucky, going to sea on Friday is unlucky...

    Has there ever been a more superstitious profession?

    Rabbi.

  140. @FPD72
    The Phantom began with a daily newspaper strip on February 17, 1936, followed by a color Sunday strip on May 28, 1939; both are still running as of 2019.

    Don’t forget its execrable adaptation for the screen, starring Billy Zane as the titular hero! I took a date to see that in high school, and we both walked to the car in silence. Then we got in, turned to each other, and pretty much simultaneously agreed “Well, that was the worst movie I may have ever seen” before driving to the lake to make out. I’ve never seen the film below, but I found it looking for a clip of the other, and I’ve decided to feature it instead, since it cannot not be a superiour film.

  141. @Harry Baldwin
    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don't think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn't be able to stop the ship for you.

    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don’t think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn’t be able to stop the ship for you.

    John Howland fell off the Mayflower and lived to tell about it. And had 88 grandchildren.

    • Replies: @Harry Baldwin
    Impressive!!
  142. @Reg Cæsar

    If you fell off a sailing ship into the ocean, miles from land, I don’t think swimming would buy you much time. They wouldn’t be able to stop the ship for you.
     
    John Howland fell off the Mayflower and lived to tell about it. And had 88 grandchildren.

    https://s3.amazonaws.com/photos.geni.com/p13/57/1f/08/c8/5344483f3e5fbc1b/john_howland_6_original.jpg

    Impressive!!

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