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How "Casablanca" Could Pass the Bechdel Test
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In 2019, movies are supposed to pass the Bechdel Test, a lesbian-devised dogma which demands that scripts must have lines in which women talk to each other about something other than a man.

For example, Casablanca fails the Bechdel Test. That’s why no woman has ever enjoyed watching Casablanca.

To keep Casablanca from being canceled forever, they should digitally add the following Bechdel Test-Passing dialogue.

Ilsa: Crazy weather we’re having, right?

Yvonne: I always say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity!”

Annina: You said it, sister!

All Three Women: LOL!

Bingo! Casablanca is uncanceled.

But what about movies in which women don’t get any lines at all? Public burning of the last silver nitrate remaining reels is the only solution. Here’s a list from Screen Rant of candidate films:

15 THE THING (John Carpenter’s version)

14 THE GREAT ESCAPE

13 FIRST BLOOD

12 MY DINNER WITH ANDRE

11 12 ANGRY MEN

10 NO ESCAPE

9 ALL IS LOST

8 THE ENEMY BELOW

7 THE LORD OF THE FLIES

6 SLEUTH

5 GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS

4 OUTPOST

3 MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD

2 BILLY BUDD

1 LAWRENCE OF ARABIA

 
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  1. Ray P says:

    Many 2 Cs in a K TV ad spots pass.

  2. fish says:

    Oh my…….

    It’s Ezra Klein!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alison_Bechdel

    • Agree: Lot
    • LOL: nebulafox
    • Replies: @Hypnotoad666
  3. Allison Bechdel:

    All I see is man in drag.

    Good thing about gays- they don’t pretend to speak for all men. As for lesbians, many of them seem to think they represent all women.

  4. As the closted gay Randy Travis sang:

    “As long as old women sit and talk about old men….”

    It’s almost like women don’t understand themselves.

    • Agree: Steve in Greensboro
  5. dearieme says:

    I liked Lawrence of Arabia. Sleuth was OK.

    12 Angry Men was rubbish. Anyway, why were they all men? Were women jurors disallowed in that state at that time?

    • Replies: @syonredux
  6. Dennis Dale says: • Website

    “Your honor I submit the ululating Bedouin women in the crucial scene where Lawrence leads the Arabs into the desert constitute not only female dialogue but essential, pro-feminist dialogue, and I’m confident the Court will see its way to granting it a waiver…”

    • LOL: Redneck farmer
    • Replies: @Buzz Mohawk
    , @tyrone
  7. What’s their beef? You never hear me bitchin’ about “The Women”, of course I’ve always had a thing for Paulette Goddard.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  8. It’s being said now that the truest feminists are the trans-gender ones, as they had to fight to make themselves into women

    Versus the easy cases of women who were told they were, and considered themselves as, girls from the very beginning

    And it’s also being said right now – by Andrew Anglin amongst others – that it’s time for all alleged males to self-identify as female

    Anyone opposing this is obviously a bigot … and isn’t it time that women’s rights become universal rights?

    • Replies: @Ghost of Bull Moose
  9. El Dato says:

    Cameron’s “Aliens” passes because: “Get away from her, you BITCH!”

  10. Acilius says: • Website

    In fairness to Alison Bechdel, she spent years trying to keep people from calling it “The Bechdel Test,” both because she didn’t invent it (her friend Liz Wallace did, so she kept trying to get people to call it “The Wallace Test”) and because so many of her favorite movies wouldn’t pass it that she can’t claim that it guides her tastes. The only point she was trying to make, when she had some characters talk about it once in a comic strip in the 80s, is that it’s screwy that a large percentage of movies don’t develop any female characters at all. But you know what happens when you try to make one simple point, suddenly you become the face of God knows what kind of zany idea that people imagine to be related to that point.

    • Replies: @J.Ross
  11. @Dennis Dale

    I remember when I realized, many years ago, that one of my favorite movies of all time, Lawrence of Arabia, has no women at all.

    Oh, there are those “ululating Bedouin women” you mention, who briefly appear off in the distance in one desert scene, covered by black burkas and making shrieking “yi-yi-yi-yi” noises at the men who are riding by on camels.

    It made no difference to me then, and it makes no difference now.

    • Replies: @Dennis Dale
    , @Prester John
  12. tyrone says:
    @Dennis Dale

    Yeah, but, but ,but, Lawrence was GAY!

    • Replies: @Franz
    , @Dennis Dale
  13. El Dato says:

    Jesus Christ that site is worse than something horny 14yo Trekkies sucking on lollipops could come up with.

    https://bechdeltest.com/view/8642/alita:_battle_angel/

    I definitely do agree with the rating according to the test, however, if you have read the original manga on which this movie is based on, Alita (also known as Gally in the manga) does not focus as much on Hugo (the love interest). The movie overly focused on this male character when he did not provide much development for Alita’s motive to head to Salem and figure out who she really is, and I found it to be a poor tool that fell under the stereotype that a love interest is needed for a female need. What do you all think?

    I’m thinking, I’m thinking!!

    does not focus as much on Hugo (the love interest)

    Gally just practically kills herself and becomes a criminal on a “wanted: dead” poster just to have Hugo’s severed head (detached by a headhunter because his lifestyle is ghetto-tier) reattached to a cyborg body. Hugo then proceeds to freak out and gets himself killed by Jeru/Salem’s defense systems, as I recall. It’s been some time … the 90s …

  14. Revised Casablanca dialogue courtesy, in part, of IMDb:

    Annina : Oh, monsieur, you are a man. If someone loved you very much, so that your happiness was the only thing that she wanted in the world, but she did a bad thing to make certain of it, could you forgive her?

    Rick : Nobody ever loved me that much. Now, the producers at the studios, well, lots of women love them that much. That is, the women who got in the movies.

    Annina : And he never knew, and the girl kept this bad thing locked in her heart? That would be all right, wouldn’t it?

    Rick : Well, that depends. Is he a Democrat or a Republican? What persuasion is he, if you know what I mean. You want my advice?

    Annina : Oh, yes, please.

    Rick : Go to NBC and see if they’ll take the story. Otherwise, go back to Bulgaria.

  15. @Brabantian

    Sounds like the ‘argument’ wherein they claim immigrants are better than citizens because citizens were just ‘lucky enough that someone dropped them out on US soil,’ or something equally scornful, exactly the argument they don’t like when talking about anchor babies…

    • Replies: @Ian Smith
  16. J.Ross says:

    Dumb news from a stupid world:
    A Linux coder has been expelled from a Linux conference because of a three year old tweet in which he can be seen wearing a MAGA hat.
    https://blog.cleancoder.com/uncle-bob/2019/11/08/OpenLetterLinuxFoundation.html
    Buddhist turtles have been spotted in Washington State with white left-facing swastikas painted onto the backs of their shells. The ADL has demanded action and argued that DDT was never proven to cause cancer in humans. They’re going to take cops off the raging homeless problem to look into the damn turtles. This is brilliant. Every major city needs sightings like this, it is the new “okay” sign. Look at them, they’re adorable.
    https://postimg.cc/Wh9CL6vm
    Virginia’s new democrat government is confirming its ignorance of anything outside NoVA by boasting about imminent illegal gun confiscations (cf CO).
    Concerned about a decline in comparisons to apes, Brazil is freeing hilariously corrupt former president Lula De Silva, who will definitely try to run again.
    A brave Mexican cop who participated in the undone capture of drug lord El Chapo Guzman’s son has been killed with 155 shots, probably by another Mexican cop. AMLO says not to worry.
    There are no farmer killings in South Africa, but there are t-shirts printed with the message, “don’t kill me, I’m a tourist, not a boer.” They are almost certainly worn by activists but it’s not clear what their issue is because absolutely everything is fine and there’s nothing to complain about. And the water works again! It’s paradise!
    iSteve favorite Bari Weiss has retweeted a Forward group interview with 27 Jews who say that they are scared to wear outward signs of their faith in France given the repeated Muslim terrorist attacks and state inaction on — hold on, they’re Americans, demanding attention, because why not?
    Disloyal enemies of the Constitution seeking to subvert elections will complain in an upcoming book that Trump frequently makes verbal gaffes, a truly shocking revelation that has never before been suspected, and which, uh, y’know, really, uh, calls to folks’ minds, uh, a, uh, contrast, with, uh more verbally astute presidents of the, uh, recent past.

    • Replies: @El Dato
  17. syonredux says:
    @dearieme

    Anyway, why were they all men? Were women jurors disallowed in that state at that time?

    It was a plot contrivance. They wanted the specific dynamics/tensions that develop in all-male settings.

    I liked Lawrence of Arabia. Sleuth was OK.

    The Olivier-Caine version was fun. The Caine-Law version was crap.

    I liked Billy Budd (Robert Ryan was outstanding as Claggart).MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD is a top-notch naval adventure.

    • Replies: @Jim Don Bob
  18. @Buzz Mohawk

    “Otherwise, go back to Bulgaria”.
    WW2 wrecked a lot of lives but for some people it was the kick in the ass they needed to get out of their “Bulgaria” to the great benefit of their grand-children.

    • Replies: @Buzz Mohawk
  19. Flip says:

    “Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart,
    ’Tis woman’s whole existence”

    Lord Byron

    • Replies: @John Derbyshire
  20. Dennis Dale says: • Website
    @Buzz Mohawk

    Yes, but “yi yi yi” actually translates as “me too, me too, me too”

  21. Actually- this test, as crazy as it may sound, is quite interesting.

    .

    [MORE]

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test
    …………………..
    Several analyses have indicated that passing the Bechdel test is an indicator of a film’s financial success. Vocativ’s authors found that the films from 2013 that passed the test earned a total of $4.22 billion in the United States, while those that failed earned $2.66 billion in total, leading them to conclude that a way for Hollywood to make more money might be to “put more women onscreen.“[39] A 2014 study by FiveThirtyEight based on data from about 1,615 films released from 1990 to 2013 concluded that the median budget of films that passed the test was 35% lower than that of the others. It found that the films that passed the test had about a 37 percent higher return on investment (ROI) in the United States, and the same ROI internationally, compared to films that did not pass the test.[41]

    In 2018, the Creative Artists Agency and Shift analyzed revenue and budget data from the 350 top-grossing films of 2014 to 2017 in the United States. They concluded that female-led films financially outperformed other films, and that those that passed the Bechdel test (60% of the films studied) significantly outperformed the others. They noted that all films since 2012 who took in more than one billion dollars in revenue passed the test.
    ………………..

    Food for thought….

  22. A123 says:

    I sympathize with Bechdel. The concept is really a conversation starter, not meaningful test. For example, two female characters could talk about something:

    — Superficial like clothes or shoes and pass the the test
    — Very serious such as an abusive boyfriend and fail the test

    If you would rather have fun with the idea, does Jumanji pass or fail? Jack Black plays a female character, Bethany. So is it scored by the gender of the character or the actor?

    PEACE 😇

  23. Cortes says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    Isn’t that Philip Snowden?

    • Replies: @Bardon Kaldian
    , @fish
  24. @Bardon Kaldian

    It’s female solipsim. She who can force-project the most feelings onto others is queen bee.

    And is then hated.

    As a side note, gay guys know women best. It’s why George Cukor, a fabulously open-secret gay director from Hollywood’s golden years, made some of the best female-centered movies of all time. His version of The Women not only kicks all “feminist” movies butts, but its entertaining as a movie, not as a lesbian preach fest.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  25. I’d be more impressed if they passed the Bechtel test, as this lady did.

    ‘Engineering is, hands down, the best job I could think of’

  26. @Bardon Kaldian

    Nah, its just common sense.

    Otherwise known as “Get woke, go broke.”

    No one would’ve watched commie propaganda films willingly. They were awful didactic messes. Instead, the party and state required it. Then when non-commie movies and TV were far bigger hits, they were simply banned.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  27. El Dato says:
    @J.Ross

    A Linux coder has been expelled from a Linux conference because of a three year old tweet in which he can be seen wearing a MAGA hat.

    Wow … name & shame anti-Trump politicization of the Linux Foundation. That’s trop beaucoup out of bounds. It being a US nonprofit, I can see some teeny little legal problems on the horizons: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/limits-political-campaigning-501c3-nonprofits-29982.html

    And that’s actually an angry letter demanding answers for this bullshit from Bob Martin himself.

    I hope the idiots at the Linux Foundation get their balls waxed by angry black transsexuals in must.

    This is brilliant. Every major city needs sightings like this, it is the new “okay” sign.

    The plan is working. Next up, gators with a “Star of David”.

  28. @Mister OK Guy

    The all-women 1939 “The Women” is great. The 21st Century remake is forgettable.

  29. Lot says:

    I am looking forward to the empowering all-female reboots of Rambo, Lord of the Flies, and Glengarry Glen Ross. All women are closers!

  30. El Dato says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    Correlation is not causation.

    leading them to conclude that a way for Hollywood to make more money might be to “put more women onscreen

    That’s the same logic that says that to improve certain pupil’s grades, you have to move white kids into their classrooms.

  31. Paul Rise says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    Weird, I see a woman in drag who wouldn’t necessarily need drag to be mistaken for a man.

  32. El Dato says:
    @Buzz Mohawk

    > the producers at the studios

    Would not work on her:

    Born Joy Cerrette Paige, she was the daughter of Mexican-American silent film star Don Alvarado (born José Paige) and Ann Boyar (1908–1990), the daughter of Russian Jewish immigrants. Her parents divorced when she was eight.

    But she could come to “Bulgaria” at any time 🤗🤗🤗

  33. The Bechdel Test is similar to Franklin Leonard’s The Blacklist. Leonard is a professional Angry Black Man from Harvard who is very well connected to the Obama-Jarrett-Holder shadow government. The racialist revolutionaries aren’t dummies, unfortunately, and they realize the power of weaponized culture. So Mr. Leonard was sent to Hollywood to set up an intersectional vetting system for screenplays in circulation. Naturally, white production executives with something to lose comply with Leonard’s cultural Marxist litmus test. This is one of the reasons why American movies are DOA.

  34. J.Ross says:
    @Acilius

    When I regularly read Bechdel’s Dykes To Watch Out For comic strip I got the impression that she was the (least screwed up? most normal? eminently beerable?) person in her community. It has a loving caricature of an overweight middle-aged leftist cuck who amasses ziggurats of Utne Reader and Z back issues, and gets his friends to schlepp them for him when he moves house, and an academic who puts off writing a major paper for years.

    • Replies: @Acilius
  35. Yvonne: I always say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity!”

    Or, as William Safire said about the business, “It’s not the teat, it’s the tumidity.”

    If I remember correctly, only about half the girls’ dialogue in this classic concerned men, specifically Oscar Levant Henry Orient.

    This picture is marginally less cancelable than Mickey Rooney and Jerry Lewis. The girl on the left wisely retired from cinema shortly after this, and the one on the right became a PR consultant credited with inventing “swiftboating”, and the Bimbo Awards.

    Best “bimbo” for this month:

    “My nose is not a heat-seeking missile for the president’s backside.” –former Rep. Charlie Dent

  36. @Mister OK Guy

    WWII was simply the continuation of WWI, which screwed up borders and people all over Europe. Our people have not, and will never, recover from that crime. I married a victim who made it here on her own — with absolutely no help or sympathy from anybody. Her family still lives with the consequences there, north of Bulgaria.

  37. Cortes says:

    The Lee Marvin classic “Hell in the Pacific” Bechdel version might run to 20 minutes and end up in a tea-drinking ceremony. Unless the remake is shot in The Valley in someone’s empty house and garden…free box of Kleenex with every rental.

  38. Jon says:

    Most straight porn could pass the Bechdel Test, no gay porn could. Be an ally, watch more straight porn.

  39. Jon says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    The Ghostbusters remake and latest Terminator disagree. Just a couple of anecdotes, I know, but I would like to look deeper into that data. What kind of movies wouldn’t be able to pass the test? Is it because of the genre that they bring in less money, or is it actually attributable to the lack of women? Also, how often are the big stars in passing movies versus failing movies?

  40. @Steve Sailer

    Sorry. All the women talk about in The Women is men.

    And actually, I would like to see any movie that does anything different from anything movies do. If it’s women talking about the weather, so be it. It would be a welcome relief from the smart-ass “look at what a brilliant writer I am” idiot 20-something-written scripts we are forced to watch.

    • Replies: @Realist
  41. Franz says:
    @tyrone

    Yeah, but, but ,but, Lawrence was GAY!

    That was a 1970s interpretation, never proven.

    Lawrence had lots of complications because he was the bastard son of a titled Brit. This is handled quite well in the film.

    He never got over his identity crisis, but he wasn’t an active homo.

    • Agree: Jim Don Bob
  42. Altai_3 says:

    Somewhat on topic. The new trailer for The Invisible Man (It looks more like a kind of remake of Hollowman) turns him into a psycho stalking his ex.

    The imagery of it though, it seems like a metaphor for the nervous breakdown of the MSM and certain feminists. Where are all the Haven Monaghans? They’re everywhere, they’re invisible!

  43. Jack D says:

    Very cute, but just a quibble. Silver nitrate is mixing apples and oranges. Movie film consists of a coating containing a light sensitive silver compound that is applied to a clear flexible plastic base. In some of the very earliest photographic processes, the silver compound used was silver nitrate but it was soon discovered that silver halides were far superior and silver nitrate has not been used since the very earliest days, long before the motion picture era.

    When people talk about “nitrate film” they are not talking about silver nitrate, they are talking about the clear plastic backing onto which the silver halide emulsion is applied. In early movie film, the plastic used was cellulose nitrate. This is a great material except that it is also known by another name: gun cotton, which may give you an idea of how explosive it is. A bonfire of nitrate film would indeed be quite a blast.

    Starting in the 1930s, the movie industry switched over to a safer plastic, cellulose acetate. Unfortunately this stuff has its own problems in that it does not have an indefinite life, so many old films are dissolving with age. The acetate degrades into acetic acid, which is otherwise known as vinegar.

    Modern film has a polyester base.

  44. Jack D says:
    @Buzz Mohawk

    Rick: You want my advice?

    Annina : Oh, yes, please.

    Rick : Don’t settle for less than high six figures and the non-disclosure agreement is unenforceable so there’s a book contract in it for you too.

  45. Forbes says:
    @Lot

    I’m thinking of the all-women remake into 12 Angry Women!

    But it won’t fit the typical 110 minute format. The two likely endings are:
    –They ballot the verdict, and 12 guilty votes are entered. The women leave to go shopping and the movie is over in 10 minutes.
    –They ballot the verdict, and lacking a unanimous vote, the women never agree. The movie lasts forever.

    • LOL: Lot
  46. Incorrect to list Glengarry Glen Ross as bereft of named or speaking femaleness. Coat Check Girl, played by Lori Tan Chin, has a line near the 7min mark.

    Females play a significant role in the plot, with Shelley Levene’s (Jack Lemmon) daughter’s hospitalization the prime driver of his impulsive crime, after a frustrating shutdown by way of poor Mr. Spannel (Bruce Altman) being pissed at his gullible wife.

    One of the best scenes is after a woman clamps down on her spineless husband’s reckless real estate purchase, ordering him back to do what wouldn’t have been necessary had she only been there.

    And the store-bought crumb cake from Harriett Nyborg? Please!

    All in all, a classic tale of powerful females at work behind the scenes. There is no GGR without women, god bless ’em.

    • Replies: @Pincher Martin
  47. I seem to recall the Asian hat check lady said, “Slow tonight?” in Glengarry Glen Ross. Double credit for being a woman and Asian.

  48. @syonredux

    I never understood why Robert Ryan wasn’t a bigger star.

    Start about 0:20.

    • Replies: @The Wild Geese Howard
  49. Forbes says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    A new term I read today: “forced universalization” which is effectively the “sameness” that is being shoved down our throats by these inferior and un-meritocratic elites. They love diversity, they demand conformity.

  50. Does Jane Austen pass the Bechdel test? Charlotte Brontë?

    All I remember about those books is various chicks gabbing on about how Mister Darcy is just a Big Jerk or Mister Rochester’s Big Estate, nonsense like that.

  51. Ano says:

    I wonder if the day is approaching when there’ll be speakeasy cinemas, where you have to give a secret knock/password to be let in to watch bootleg copies of films banned/incinerated as unWoke.

    Hasn’t Gone With The Wind been de facto ‘cancelled’ from being screened in public?

    PS: I’d love to see a bio pic of Bechdel’s life, with a CGI-youthified Adam Sandler playing her. But in real life if she spends her time grousing about men, I guess it wouldn’t pass her own Test.

  52. “Round up the usual white cismale suspects.”

    • LOL: fish
  53. I don’t remember any women speaking in Cool Hand Luke or The Great Escape. Of course, there were also no women speaking in one of my favorite comedies, ‘The Cook’ with Fatty Arbuckle and Buster Keaton.

    • Replies: @schnellandine
  54. All movies are garbage.

  55. @Buzz Mohawk

    WWII was simply the continuation of WWI, which screwed up borders and people all over Europe.

    Correct.

    Our screwed-up modern world, particularly the Middle East, is simply the decades long fallout from WWI.

    • Agree: Dtbb, Kolya Krassotkin
  56. syonredux says:
    @Steve Sailer

    The all-women 1939 “The Women” is great. The 21st Century remake is forgettable.

    George Cukor > Diane English

  57. Ano says:

    Hi!

    Is any iSteve reader interested in putting money into my next film?

    Don’t worry! Don’t worry! It’ll make money! It passes the Bechdel Test.

    It’s an all-female cast remake of Ghostbusters.

    • Replies: @Kolya Krassotkin
  58. Anonymous[331] • Disclaimer says:

    Haha ! The first movie is about a gay guy. And the second, based on the gayest story from the homo misogynist Herman Melville.

  59. Dumbo says:

    There are very few things dumber than this “test”.

    First, because women love to talk about men. Well, except for lesbians, I suppose.

    Second because it depends on the kind of story being told. A film about prisoners is different from a film about nurses.

    Third because, having or not having women talking has NOTHING to do with the quality of the movie. You can have “Persona”, which is basically just two women talking but is interesting, or you can have, I don’t know, “The Joy Luck Club”, which was awful.

    Fourth, because as a general rule, films about men are more interesting than films about women (and even women agree – try to make a romantic comedy without men or without women talking about men).

  60. I don’t recall Patton having any lines for women, although i think that there were a few nurses during the slapping scene.

    • Replies: @Diversity Heretic
  61. Casablanca is a redemption story, doubled. Rick moves from a sad panda running a den of sin and oppression into a hero. More importantly, the captain moves from being a self closeted gay who is both excessively corrupt and sexually abusing woman, into a patriot activist who realizes and acts on his love for Rick.

  62. @fish

    Oh my…….

    It’s Ezra Klein!

    Actually, I thought it was the Verizon Guy from the “can you hear me now” commercials.

    • Replies: @fish
    , @Kolya Krassotkin
  63. @Bardon Kaldian

    What 538 should have done was print the top ranking films on the various metrics in order so readers could look up the patterns.

    • Replies: @res
    , @Abe
  64. Hhsiii says:

    My ex-wife (divorced and deceased) loved Casablanca. I hadn’t really paid much attention before. Even though I loved Play It Again, Sam.Now I love Casablanca. It really pays off in multiple viewings. But really, the first time I focused it was great.

    One interesting thing I get is that Die Wacht Am Rhein is patriotic in a who will guard our border sense. The French are feared. While Le Marseillaise is bloodthirsty. Come citizens and kill … these other Frenchmen lording it over us.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  65. Once in a great while, common sense triumphs:

    “7-Year-Old Whose Mom Tried to ‘Transition’ Him Chooses to Attend School as a Boy”

    https://www.lewrockwell.com/2019/11/no_author/7-year-old-whose-mom-tried-to-transition-him-chooses-to-attend-school-as-a-boy/

    • Replies: @El Dato
  66. njguy73 says:
    @Steve Sailer

    Casablanca doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test.

    The Room does.

  67. Naturally Howard Hawks couldn’t resist adding a female character to his version to allow his classic banter. Hopefully Hawks can stay uncanceled?

  68. @R.G. Camara

    That’s what I wrote in my review of the flopped woman-directed remake of “The Women:” doesn’t Hollywood have any more George Cukor-like gay men who can direct women entertainingly?

    • Replies: @R.G. Camara
    , @syonredux
  69. kihowi says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    That because homosexuals correctly understand there’s something very different between them and normal men, and lesbians correctly understand there’s not much difference between them and normal women.

    • Replies: @Ian Smith
  70. Remake with Billy Budd as a F2M transsexual. Billy Budd, Foreskinman.

    • Replies: @Bill Jones
  71. @Steve Sailer

    No, apparently since they all just make openly gay movies and ignore girls, or else they are so brainwashed by modern #metoo that even they’re afraid to let their inner bitch out.

  72. @Lot

    “Do it again, but with girls!” is the new “Do it again, but add gays!”

  73. Acilius says: • Website
    @J.Ross

    Occasionally Steve mentions feminist writers like Susan Faludi and Susan Brownmiller who have faded from eminence, and suggests that it is because they are too nice for the movement. I don’t think that’s particularly fair! Anyway Alison really is a deeply good person who makes conscientious efforts to understand viewpoints different from hers, even though I’m sure she would have an attack of the vapors if she knew that any acquaintance of hers could be found among the commenters on this blog.

    • Replies: @Art Deco
  74. Anon55uu says:

    No 2 Billy Budd is probably about the gayest a film could get when it was released.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  75. @R.G. Camara

    No one would’ve watched commie propaganda films willingly. They were awful didactic messes. Instead, the party and state required it. Then when non-commie movies and TV were far bigger hits, they were simply banned.

    Stalin wanted The Grapes of Wrath shown to the masses, to teach them that Americans were poor, too.

    It backfired. Everyone was impressed that the Joads had a truck of their very own.

  76. @Buzz Mohawk

    In the movie, the line refers to Romania, I think; not Bulgaria.

    • Replies: @Reg Cæsar
  77. @Delmar Jackson

    (Cool Hand) Luke had a dialog scene with his ailing mother, outside prison gate.

  78. @schnellandine

    Incorrect to list Glengarry Glen Ross as bereft of named or speaking femaleness. Coat Check Girl, played by Lori Tan Chin, has a line near the 7min mark.

    First Blood also has a speaking role for a woman – the black mother of Rambo’s dead Vietnam buddy has two lines early in the film, even if she is uncredited at IMDB.

    • Replies: @TWS
  79. Thomm says:

    Across the first four Rocky movies (I to IV), I think there is less than 30 seconds worth of woman-to-woman dialog, and it is still about a man.

    The Lord of the Rings trilogy also fails the Bechdel test.

    So does ‘The Dark Knight’.

  80. Ian Smith says:
    @kihowi

    Seriously? Do you actually know any lesbians? Or women?

  81. Hundreds of women have lines to say in the movie Lawrence of Arabia.

    But they all say their lines at the same time, simultaneously at fast forward-speed, in a one minute sequence starting at 1:45.

  82. syonredux says:
    @Anon55uu

    No 2 Billy Budd is probably about the gayest a film could get when it was released.

    I guess that you haven’t seen Lawrence of Arabia…..

  83. res says:
    @Steve Sailer

    538 made the data and analysis code public on GitHub. Might be worth a look.
    https://github.com/fivethirtyeight/data/tree/master/bechdel

  84. Abe says:
    @Steve Sailer

    What 538 should have done was print the top ranking films on the various metrics in order so readers could look up the pattern

    What are the odds that 99.9% of the revenue coming from Bechdel-compliant films does NOT involve some variation of Pepper Potts talking to Black Widow talking to Captain Marvel about whether to hide the Infinity Gems in a supermassive blackhole singularity, or simply let Hulk crush them to powder between his supermassively-toned glutes.

  85. Dennis Dale says: • Website
    @tyrone

    In the remake the gang rape becomes a foam party. Can’t have gay bad guys

  86. @Jim Don Bob

    “Ain’t like it used to be.”

    Brother, ain’t that the truth!

  87. @Colin Wright

    In the movie, the line refers to Romania, I think; not Bulgaria.

    Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
    A medley of extemporanea;
    And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
    And I am Marie of Roumania.

    –Dorothy Parker, 1937

  88. @Hhsiii

    One interesting thing I get is that Die Wacht Am Rhein is patriotic in a who will guard our border sense.

    Like O Canada?

    Deutschland Über Alles is downright bleeding-heart, if refreshingly “sexist” in spots. It could even be Deutschland Lyft Alles.

    https://www.german-way.com/tag/lyft/

    Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,
    Über alles in der Welt,
    Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze
    Brüderlich zusammenhält;
    Von der Maas bis an die Memel,
    von der Etsch bis an den Belt:
    Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,
    Über alles in der Welt!


    Deutsche Frauen, deutsche Treue,
    Deutscher Wein und deutscher Sang
    Sollen in der Welt behalten
    Ihren alten schönen Klang,
    Uns zu edler Tat begeistern
    Unser ganzes Leben lang:
    Deutsche Frauen, deutsche Treue,
    Deutscher Wein und deutscher Sang!
    Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit
    Für das deutsche Vaterland!
    Danach lasst uns alle streben
    Brüderlich mit Herz und Hand!


    Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit
    Sind des Glückes Unterpfand;
    Blüh im Glanze dieses Glückes,
    Blühe, deutsches Vaterland

    • Replies: @Prester John
  89. syonredux says:
    @Steve Sailer

    Man, 1939 was a great year for movies: Gone With the Wind, Stagecoach , The Women, The Wizard of Oz, Ninotchka, Only Angels Have Wings, Gunga Din, Mr Smith Goes to Washington, The Roaring Twenties, ……

    • Replies: @Anonymous
    , @Steve Sailer
  90. Anonymous[464] • Disclaimer says:

    But what about movies in which women don’t get any lines at all?

    Pretend every guy in THE THING is a tranny. Besides, the Thing can turn into anything. It is very Zeligish, so maybe it is the real hero.

    • Replies: @BB753
  91. Anonymous[464] • Disclaimer says:
    @syonredux

    Man, 1939 was a great year for movies: Gone With the Wind, Stagecoach , The Women, The Wizard of Oz, Ninotchka, Only Angels Have Wings, Gunga Din, Mr Smith Goes to Washington, The Roaring Twenties, ……

    1993 and 2013 were also very special.

    67 was special because it had Graduate, In Heat of Night, Cool Hand Luke, Bonnie & Clyde, In Cold Blood, Dirty Dozen, etc.

    77 was also a big year in terms of buzz. Star Wars, Close Encounters, Saturday Night Fever, Annie Hall, etc.

    My personal fav year is 85. To Live and Die in LA.

    • Replies: @PiltdownMan
  92. @syonredux

    I saw Ninotchka in a theater in 2009 on its 70th anniversary, and it was hilarious. There were more than a few octogenarians and nonagenarians in the crowd who had seen it on its first run. It was a great experience to watch it with people who got all the jokes.

    My unexciting theory is that 1939 was so memorable for movies because 1938 and 1940 were kind of off-years, with 1941 being very strong again: i.e., for fairly random reasons, more memorable movies got released in 1939 and 1941 than in 1938 and 1940.

    • Replies: @syonredux
  93. black sea says:
    @Lot

    “You know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes brass ovaries to sell real estate.”

  94. syonredux says:
    @Steve Sailer

    My unexciting theory is that 1939 was so memorable for movies because 1938 and 1940 were kind of off-years, with 1941 being very strong again: i.e., for fairly random reasons, more memorable movies got released in 1939 and 1941 than in 1938 and 1940.

    Yeah, it’s interesting that people don’t talk more about 1941. It was certainly a very strong year for Hollywood: The Maltese Falcon, Citizen Kane, Sullivan’s Travels, The Devil and Daniel Webster, The Lady Eve, High Sierra, Dumbo, The Wolf Man , etc.

  95. Rahan says:

    Bulgaria is Best Europe.

    Master and Commander is Best Russel.

  96. To keep Casablanca from being canceled forever, they should digitally add the following Bechdel Test-Passing dialogue.

    Ilsa: Crazy weather we’re having, right?

    Yvonne: I always say, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity!”

    Annina: You said it, sister!

    All Three Women: LOL!

    Bingo! Casablanca is uncanceled.

    Except that many follow-ons to that conversation will devolve into criticism of men, to wit:

    Ilsa: But clearly this weather is the result of Anthropogenic Global Warming …

    Yvonne: What’s that?

    Annina: You know, Man-made climate change. It’s always the men who screw things up!

    or …

    Ilsa: But you know what they say … If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen

    Yvonne: We’re only there because men use kitchens as instruments of our oppression!

    Annina: Right on, sister!

  97. @Jimbo in OPKS

    Well, you just lost any funding from (((Hollywood)))

  98. El Dato says:
    @Bill Jones

    Like Freedom, Common Sense needs to be defended actively.

  99. fish says:
    @Hypnotoad666

    Yeah! I see it…..sprinkle in about 10% Christian Bale and we’re ready for the Bechdel Test.

  100. @Anonymous

    Looking at Wikipedia 1967, 1969 and 1969 were all great years, when the top box office hits were also movies that had great artistic merit and became classics over the long term.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1967_in_film
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1968_in_film
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1968_in_film

    Conventional wisdom, though, is that the 1970s is when the New American Cinema really took off.

    But my memory of my high school years from the c. 1972 onward is that there were plenty of lame crowd-pleasers that were the “big” movies of the year, with only a handful of great movies like The French Connection or The Godfather in any given year that became big, popular, movies.

    The Wikipedia top-ten box office lists for the late sixties and the seventies pretty much confirm my memory, I think.

  101. @Ano

    Is the all-female cast of “Lord of the Flies” a go yet?

    Have they finally decided between Lena Dunham or Amy Schumer for Piggy?

    • LOL: JMcG
    • Replies: @anon
  102. @Hypnotoad666

    Dude looks like Rachel Maddow if she wore make-up.

  103. BB753 says:
    @Anonymous

    That’s the ticket. How do they even know every character in all-male movies identify as a man? What about the fluidity and non-binarity thing? Hell, they’ve got their Gender Theory 101 wrong! When SJWs watch The Magnificent Seven (the 1960 version, not the pozzed 2016 version), all they see onscreen is seven tough men, failing to see the real gender underneath. Who’s to say that Yul Brynner or James Coburn weren’t deftly playing the roles of cis-gendered men who identified as females but hid their real gender identities in order to survive 19th century bigotry and violence?

    • Replies: @Bill Jones
  104. Jack D says:

    The Bechdel Test, a lesbian-devised dogma which demands that scripts must have lines in which women talk to each other

    Maybe lesbians want to see women talking (maybe more than just talking) to each other on screen, but don’t most normal women prefer movies where men and women are interacting with each other, e.g. every (non-lesbian) romance movie ever made? Why do lesbians get to define feminist norms? Maybe lesbians don’t like movies in which the girl wins her prince’s heart but this is the premise of most movies that appeal to women who are not dykes. I suppose every romance novel ever written (99% of which are sold to women) also fails the Bechdel Test. On the other hand, a “hot lesbian action” porn film made for men would pass it with flying colors. The Bechdel Test is not so much anti-male as it is anti-heterosexual female.

    • Agree: Abe, Johann Ricke
    • Replies: @dfordoom
  105. When I am eavesdropping on women at the coffee shop or at Green Lake in Seattle, I never hear anyone talking about a man. It’s always “So she…” or “But she…” and 10 to 1, the topic is health care.

    Just sayin’.

    • Agree: El Dato
  106. @Diversity Heretic

    I have to correct myself. In one scene an Englishwoman apologizes to General Patton for her (rather small) dog frightening General Patton’s dog, William. Not a lot of lines, but the exchange was there.

  107. Acilius says: • Website
    @Reg Cæsar

    “They’re not even sure it IS a baby!”

  108. Art Deco says:
    @Acilius

    Anyway Alison really is a deeply good person who makes conscientious efforts to understand viewpoints different from hers,

    No, she isn’t. Really good people don’t hang their fathers out to dry posthumously. They don’t do it in defiance of their mother’s wishes. They don’t do it manufacturing a fictional version of him by leaving out salient aspects and filling in blanks with the imagination.

    It’s an indication of the decadence of our times that reviews of Fun Home were uniformly positive bar one. The one was written by Bechdel’s sister-in-law, who took issue with the accuracy of the portrait of Bruce Bechdel and also said that Alison Bechdel had projected her own juvenile dissatisfaction on the rest of the family who did not share it. One of Bechdel’s brothers said he considered writing a reply to his sister and attempting to get it published.

  109. @Reg Cæsar

    Or, as the Grail Knights sang in Wagners “Parsifal”, “Treu bis zum Tod.”

  110. @Buzz Mohawk

    “Lawrence of Arabia, has no women at all.”

    Unless you take the proverbial leap of faith and count his two young, er, “companions” as women.

  111. @BB753

    “Who’s to say that Yul Brynner or James Coburn weren’t deftly playing the roles of cis-gendered men who identified as females but hid their real gender identities in order to survive 19th century bigotry and violence?”

    Me. I’m to say that.

    Neither was born until the third decade of the 20th Century,

    • Replies: @BB753
  112. Uncle Dan says:

    In Casablanca women talk only to men, and let them know what they think of their self-pity:

    “You want to feel sorry for yourself, don’t you? With so much at stake, all you can think of is your own feelings. One woman has hurt you, and you take revenge on the rest of the world. You’re a, you’re a coward, and a weakling.”

    Women were such shrinking violets in 1942, before the arrival of feminism.

  113. TWS says:
    @Bardon Kaldian

    Studio accounting is the dirtiest and least reliable set of numbers produced ever. I wouldn’t trust those numbers if arch angel Michael stood over the studio accountants with a thunderbolt in one hand and a flaming sword in the other.

    • Replies: @fish
  114. anon[273] • Disclaimer says:
    @Kolya Krassotkin

    Is the all-female cast of “Lord of the Flies” a go yet?

    I think that was already tried that on “Survivor”. But the dialog wasn’t up to snuff.

  115. TWS says:
    @Pincher Martin

    Doesn’t count. She was talking about her son.

    • Replies: @Pincher Martin
  116. dfordoom says: • Website
    @Jack D

    The Bechdel Test is not so much anti-male as it is anti-heterosexual female.

    Feminism is not so much anti-male as it is anti-heterosexual female.

  117. Anon7 says:

    Another good example of a film with no lines for women is the 1966 film Khartoum.

    I found a terrific book that tells the real story behind the events of the film; Khartoum: The Ultimate Imperial Adventure.

    The British campaign in the Sudan in Queen Victoria’s reign is an epic tale of adventure more thrilling than any fiction. The story begins with the massacre of the 11,000 strong Hicks Pasha column in 1883. Sent to evacuate the country, British hero General Gordon was surrounded and murdered in Khartoum by an army of dervishes led by the Mahdi. The relief mission arrived 2 days too late. The result was a national scandal that shocked the Queen and led to the fall of the British government.

  118. fish says:
    @TWS

    I wouldn’t trust those numbers if arch angel Michael stood over the studio accountants with a thunderbolt in one hand and a flaming sword in the other.

    I might…..if he would occasionally put them to good use!

  119. Treasure of the Sierra Madre. (naturally). LOL

  120. @Buzz Mohawk

    I married a victim who made it here on her own — with absolutely no help or sympathy from anybody. Her family still lives with the consequences there, north of Bulgaria.

    tobb esz vezet mohácsnál as we used to say back home.

    • Replies: @Buzz Mohawk
  121. Realist says:
    @obwandiyag

    It would be a welcome relief from the smart-ass “look at what a brilliant writer I am” idiot 20-something-written scripts we are forced to watch.

    Only a dumb fuck would think they are forced to watch a movie.

    • Replies: @obwandiyag
  122. @Flip

    “It’s not the teat, it’s the tumidity.” — National Lampoon, ca. 1975.

  123. Fallable says:

    My understanding is that the lead character from Casablanca is based on Coudenhove-Kalergi. It would be quite ironic if Casablanca got cancelled by the diversity/female empowerment mob. Sic Semper Tyrannis. What say you Sailer?

  124. BB753 says:
    @Bill Jones

    Brynner and Coburn were 20th century actors playing 19th Western characters, of course. If you look closely, you can see the intersectionality of gender, class and race playing out in their complex parts. I’m throwing in a LOL so you can understand my sarcasm.

  125. Anonymous[212] • Disclaimer says:

    This will be the death of the movie industry.

  126. AceDeuce says:

    Women with nothing to say?

    That’s why it’s called “fiction”.

  127. @Realist

    What a scintillating riposte. You must be a Rocket Scientist.

  128. Any movie where anybody in them talks about anything at all different from the usual crap they always talk about is a relatively great movie.

  129. @TWS

    First Blood might not count for passing the Bechdel Test, but Steve introduced Screen Rant’s list of women-less films (of which First Blood is included) with this line: “But what about movies in which women don’t get any lines at all?”

    • Replies: @anon
  130. BB753 says:

    Does a movie pass the Bechdel test if it shows two lesbians making out but not speaking? And the rest is a sausage fest?

  131. anon[394] • Disclaimer says:
    @Pincher Martin

    “But what about movies in which women don’t get any lines at all?”

    Does “almost no lines” count?

  132. Rapparee says:

    But what about movies in which women don’t get any lines at all? Public burning of the last silver nitrate remaining reels is the only solution.

    Gettysburg has the same problem, unless you count the two-second throwaway line by an uncredited female civilian passerby, “I thought the war was in Virginia!“. Obviously, we need to re-release the DVD with a commentary track explaining that General George[tte] Edward Pickett was actually an heretofore-undiagnosed transgender woman.

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