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Warning: This is not a good song.

From Wikipedia:

Don’t Touch My Hair

Song by Solange

Solange is Beyonce’s little sister, so you can tell she doesn’t have any Privilege.

featuring Sampha
from the album A Seat at the Table
Released September 30, 2016

“Don’t Touch My Hair” is the ninth track on American singer and songwriter Solange’s fourth studio album, A Seat at the Table. It was released by Saint Records and Columbia Records on September 30, 2016 with its music video being released the following week. It was written by Knowles, Bryndon Cook, Sampha Sisay, Dave Andrew Sitek, and Patrick Wimberly.

It only took two guys to write “Ol’ Man River” 90 years ago, but now it takes five to write “Don’t Touch My Hair.”


… During the writing of “Don’t Touch My Hair” and the creation of the full album, she has posted personal essays on her website, Saint Heron, linking the ideas of these personal essays with messages in the album. One essay that has been linked to the creation and writing of “Don’t Touch My Hair” would be “”And Do You Belong? I Do.” In this she says “You and your friends have been called the N-word, been approached as prostitutes, and have had your hair touched in a predominately white bar just around the corner from the same venue.”[2] Experiencing micro-aggressions towards black women’s hair, and being the daughter of a hairdresser, lead Knowles to create a song based on how hair is “incredibly spiritual, and, energetically, it really encompasses and expresses who we are.”[1] She states the meaning of the song “is as much as what it feels like to have your whole identity challenged on a daily basis, although physically touching the hair is extremely problematic!”[1]

Hair has been used as a tool of oppression to black people in the United States because of the different textures and styles black women’s hair offers. Such textures and styles have been mocked, appropriated, and used as a source for profiling. Solange reflect in her song how her hair is a major part of her identity and influences her daily life, because it offers difference to the stereotyped “normal” hair textures european/white culture so often displays. Historically, black women have “normalized” and changed their hair in order to perform respectability politics, to gain respect from white society as black hair was seen as deviant and unprofessional. Because of the hundreds of years of oppression black people have encountered due to their hair, black person’s hair is inherently a huge part of one’s identity, yielding the importance of respecting other hair styles and textures, as well as not misappropriating one’s culture by adopting styles and techniques without proper credit to those who created them. Solange titles the song “Don’t Touch My Hair” to gain respect and ownership of her hair, which is important work in black feminism, speaking against systematic racism. In the black community, hair is a means of opportunity, which is socially unjust. Hair styles and textures have played an extreme role in the profiling and viewing of black people, keeping them from certain professions, interviews, and spaces, which is more familiarly referred to as racism. …

Though “Don’t Touch My Hair” was widely acclaimed, it was less successful commercially. It debuted, and peaked, at 91 on the Billboard’s Hot 100 the week of October 22, 2016, dropping off the chart the next week.[9]

Well, it is pretty boring.

Italian hair-touching:

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  1. Currahee says:

    Onset Negro Fatigue.

    • Replies: @Father O'Hara
    , @Pat Boyle
  2. “Predominately.”

    • Replies: @Simon Tugmutton
  3. Whiskey says: • Website

    Some White dude shot up a Madden gaming tournament after he lost, so expect a full on ban on guns and White men in no particular order, and even more Black worship.

    I would not be shocked if after Trump’s inevitable impeachment White men are all made “illegal” — the BBC now has a ban on White male presenters. Presumably it will all be lesbian Muslim women of color.

  4. It only used to take one or two people to write a pop song, but now it takes five. Why?

    Pretty much the same reason that it takes 1 white guy, a dot-Indian, and 13 Chinaman to write a paper on soil mechanics. One guy lent us a coupla thermocouples, this other guy emailed me an excerpt from another paper about this, I owe that other guy for helping me put a starter on my truck …

    I don’t care about Beyonce’s sister’s hair though.

  5. “Don’t touch my weave”


    • LOL: Mr. Rational
    • Replies: @Dave Pinsen
    , @Sue D. Nim
  6. JimB says:

    Wait until Facebook/Google/Apple begins compiling social credit scores on teenagers. Then you better buy Solanges boring SJW album and listen to it at least ten times if you want any chance of being admitted to the college of your choice.

  7. Because of the hundreds of years of oppression black people have encountered due to their hair, black person’s hair is inherently a huge part of one’s identity, yielding the importance of respecting other hair styles and textures, as well as not misappropriating one’s culture by adopting styles and techniques without proper credit to those who created them.

    That is a splendid sentence. It’s ungrammatical, faux-profound, and incoherent in the style of the very best/worst academese.

    I love, love, love the impossible-to-parody construction ‘yielding the importance of respecting’.

  8. slumber_j says:

    Ya know, I work on my hair a long time, and ya– Ya hit it!

    • Replies: @Patrick in SC
  9. Brady says:

    Black women are upset about white dudes touching their hair in the same way that fat lesbian shrews are upset about wealthy CEOs sexually harassing them.

    • LOL: bomag
    • Replies: @MarcB.
    , @sabril
    , @interesting
  10. fish says:

    Why does all the stupid shit drop on my birthday?

    • Replies: @AnotherDad
  11. Don’t rip off my toupe!

  12. Anon[190] • Disclaimer says:

    Citronella is new to me. Is it the olfactory version of Pepe?

    If black hair is sacred, why do black women use so much fake hair, and conk and dye what real hair they have to within an inch of its life, like jam on the eucharist.

    • Replies: @CK
    , @Anon
  13. Anonymous[264] • Disclaimer says:

    Well, it is pretty boring.

    LOL – it really is a boring song.

    Maybe things have changed, but I used to notice that quite a few black women had hair that smelled a little funky, I think because of the hair products they used. Sometimes it smelled so bad, it was unpleasant being near them.

    • Replies: @Seth
  14. @Whiskey

    As the killer’s name is Katz, this tragedy is less an example of white criminality and more a “schande vor die goyim”.

  15. @The Last Real Calvinist

    I noticed this one straight away. It really is a masterpiece of horseshit.

  16. Big Bill says:

    Sorry. I could only make it to 1:14 in the song.

  17. Solange tried to beat up brother-in-law rapper (Jay Z) a few years ago.

    Did Jay Z try to touch her hair?

  18. GP100 says:

    You know, that song really stinks. And the video stinks too. Was there a guy balancing what looked like a gallon bottle of vinegar on his head at one point?

  19. I wonder if the presence among us, these days, of dark-skinned, naturally straight-haired, South Asian women in noticeable numbers causes envy and resentment among black American women like Solange. The pictures are of the 2014 Miss America, Nina Davuluri, who could pass for black.

  20. I refuse to believe it. No one wants to touch black women’s hair.

    However, I’ve seen blonde women ( one of them my mom) walk through the medina in Tangier and Arab souks and African villages, and the children and women paw at their hair without restraint. It’s a thing.

    They swarm around trying to touch Becky’s hair. The men will also offer camels, orange groves, etc to the male adults in the party as an opening offer of exchange.

    I’ve lived in Africa and Harlem and Central Brooklyn and never seen a white person touch a black person’s hair, or heard anyone express any interest in doing so. However, I have seen people on the subway leaning away from some giant ‘fro or extravagant ‘do that’s in their face, desperately trying to avoid touching it.

    I just don’t believe this is real. I think the stories are made up and then passed around. A truly urban myth.

    Seriously, has anyone ever seen or heard of a single white person interested in touching black ‘hair?’ Other than very small children, who also sometimes try to touch hot stoves and dog poop.

  21. Stealth says:

    I think black people lie about white people touching their hair – plain and simple. I grew up and spent my early adulthood in a very black area of the country, and I never saw any white person attempt to touch a black persons hair, or even make a request to do so. Hell, none of my fellow whites ever said to me, “hey Stealth, I wonder what their hair feels like.”

    The truth is that black women themselves are the real offenders when it comes to touching the hair of the “other,” and anything they say about whites is strictly projection. I’ve never touched a black woman’s hair, but I’ve had more than one black woman run her fingers through mine. One particular acquaintance of mine did it so often that I asked her to stop.

  22. @The Last Real Calvinist

    The Last, years ago this tripe would be fodder for a skit on Saturday Night Live, but the self proclaimed comedians of today won’t touch this.

  23. Stealth says:
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    Seriously, has anyone ever seen or heard of a single white person interested in touching black ‘hair?’

    No, and it’s about time white people started calling this out for the bullshit that it is.

    • Replies: @AndrewR
  24. @Ghost of Bull Moose

    Ghost, processed hair, ribbon hair, dreads,’fros and rasta hair make it hard to wash or shampoo. Who wants to touch skanky hair?

  25. I agree completely. It seems that blacks want to believe that white people are obsessed with their hair and want to touch it, but I’ve never encountered anything like that. What’s so great about their hair? Even they don’t want it which explains all of the weaves and relaxers, etc.

    • Replies: @Anonymous
  26. benjaminl says:

    Kamala Harris’s mother, Dr. Shyamala Gopalan, is about as African-American as Stanley Anne Dunham. I wonder how the hair thing will play out with Kamala’s career.

  27. Anonymous[309] • Disclaimer says:

    As a young girl I had extremely long, straight, shiny, silky hair. It was so silky, it was slippery and wouldn’t hold any style (curlers, ponytails & braids would just slip right out.) It provided much amusement for my aunts who couldn’t keep their hands off my hair.
    Now my hair is gray and wiry and no one tries to touch it, nor can I imagine why they would. I don’t even want to touch it.
    Just sayin’

  28. Dave Pinsen says: • Website
    @Hamlet's Ghost

    I think Beyoncé’s sister generally wears her own natural hair.

  29. anon[146] • Disclaimer says:

    Never in my life heard of white people touching black peoples hair or even giving a thought to it. This article takes black projectionism and self-pitying horse-shit to a whole new level.

    • Agree: Jim Don Bob
    • Replies: @Anonymous
    , @Anon
  30. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:

    I have no desire to touch anyone’s hair, and most especially black people’s.

    Pretty much that is the case with everyone I know. Maybe I have a small circle of acquaintances though.

  31. newrouter says:
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    Who wants to touch someone else’s pubic hair unless sexually attracted?

  32. Anonymous[427] • Disclaimer says:

    A somewhat better song:

    “Your hair is beautiful……..tonight”

  33. @slumber_j


    Steve should ad this to the original post.

  34. @PiltdownMan

    It’s not just envy.

    Black women touch other women’s hair more than anyone else, because they purchase the hair of Indian women and paste it on to their own heads.

  35. Anon[544] • Disclaimer says:

    In the era of ubiquitous smart phone cameras and YouTube, as well as knee-jerk employment hostile environment lawsuits, if hair touching were really that common we’d be inundated with evidence.

    It may happen among young girls, to the extent that young black and white girls ever play together. And the memories may be transformed into trauma in college in the way that hookups are reenvisioned as rape months later after a gender studies class. Or this may be the black female equivalent of alien abduction or Satanic ritual abuse.

    • Replies: @Anon
  36. “It only took two guys to write “Ol’ Man River” 90 years ago, but now it takes five to write “Don’t Touch My Hair.”


    This is a trend with all popular music these days. It’s more to do with every single person who has anything to do with the song getting credits for royalty purposes. I think “Uptown Boogie” holds the record with like 16 credited songwriters.

    Things were a lot stingier in the old days. For example, Freddie Mercury was credited as the sole writer of Bohemian Rhapsody, even though Brian May wrote the galloping guitar riff right after the opera section. It’s also interesting how some groups decided to give all members equal credit regardless of who was most responsible for what song, in order to eliminate a source of potential friction. U2, Def Leppard, and Van Halen fell into this category. Although in Van Halen’s case, Eddie Van Halen became resentful of bassist Michael Anthony getting credit while not actually doing any songwriting, which led to Anthony’s firing. As to why Anthony was getting credit to begin with, I have a theory about that. I think early on in their career, it was obvious that all the songs were being written by Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth. But Eddie didn’t want to cut out his brother Alex, and they couldn’t justify giving him credit without giving Anthony credit as well.

    • Replies: @Anon
    , @Hapalong Cassidy
  37. dkw says:

    Purportedly it took 10 writers 10 years to scratch out the song Believe popularized by Cher in the late ’90s. That’s 100 writer years, or 1200 writer months. It’s an absolutely awful song which can’t include more than about 200 words in total. That comes out to writing about one word every six months.

    I wrote this comment in less than 5 minutes. Just sayin’

    • Replies: @Anon
  38. Hhh says:

    Yes her life has been good since her sister made it big but before that her life was nothing but poverty and white surpemacist oppression

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  39. @Hhh

    What’s the name of the upscale black neighborhood in southern Houston about halfway between Rice U. and U. of Houston? Bayou something?

  40. Marty says:

    Blacks really needed something like EST. “You’re an asshole!”

  41. D. K. says:

    Cole Porter, when asked who wrote ‘Some Enchanted Evening’: “Rodgers and Hammerstein, if you can imagine it taking two men to write one song.”

  42. MEH 0910 says:

    The Sammy Maudlin Show : Bobby and Skip Bittman

  43. Joe Walker says: • Website
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    No one wants to touch black women’s hair.

    True. I think all this commotion over white people allegedly wanting to touch black women’s hair is because black women are upset that most black men would rather be touching white women.

  44. 1661er says:
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    Does people consider notable Cuban-American, Cameron Diaz, white?

    • Replies: @anonymous
  45. El Dato says:

    Mad. Madder. Madden!

    And it wasn’t even a Counterstrike Tournament (or whatever is currently all the rage in FPS … Overwatch maybe?

  46. Anon[544] • Disclaimer says:

    “Add a word, get a third.,” A lot of songwriting credits are producers, arrangers, managers, musicians, singers or hangers-on who make some piddling contribution, for the sake of getting a royalty stream. It can really add up. Mike Love was legitimately ripped off of credit for a couple of Beach Boys songs, but when he sued years later, they ended up having to put his name on songs he really had no real contribution to in the sense that most of us think as songwriting, just to end the lawsuit.

    I’ve always thought that it would be s good idea for powerless young songwriters to “release” all their songs, early on, in some sort of extremely limited fashion, maybe crudely covered by a friend even, maybe for sale on consignment for a month at a single record store, or from iTunes. Documented, and combined with self publishing (publishing is another way you get ripped off), this would bake in the songwriting credits. Anything later is just an “arrangement.” Anything more than an arrangement would be an “adaptation” under copyright law, but would not create any copyright rights, rather more of a Wired Al type licensing situation.

    The problem though is that songwriting credits often function as bribes or kickbacks for getting introductions in the industry. If you don’t play along, unless you are a super talent, your career may stall. Another problem is bands that go into the studio with a few ideas and “wrote” their songs there. In that case reconstructing who did what is hopeless.

  47. Anonymous[407] • Disclaimer says:

    Well, just wait for then next installment.

    She states the meaning of the song “is as much as what it feels like to have your whole identity challenged on a daily basis, although physically touching the hair is extremely problematic!”

    I can only envision a mobile application that pops up an “you have received an identity challenge!” every hour or so.

    If you pass you get shopping reductions etc.

  48. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:

    One thing I remember at work. They were both young A White woman was sitting at her desk. A black woman was standing behind her. The black woman loudly exclaimed “ your scalp is white”

    • Replies: @Anonymous
    , @Neuday
  49. Anonymous[218] • Disclaimer says:

    The truly sad thing is that, bad as this song is, it’s still better than 90% of popular music today.

  50. @Anon

    I would occasionally listen to this talk show in which an intellectual property lawyer would take phone calls from musicians, and it would soon turn nightmarish.

  51. Anon[257] • Disclaimer says:

    Black woman have to give so much time and money to their hair. If they fry it it looks awful. If they wear wigs they look artificial and ruins their own hair. Those Afro styles took as much time and work as pressed hair.

    But they get affirmative action jobs and thus have the money and leisure to deal with their hair.

  52. @Currahee

    SCTV did we parody of Perry Como singing so quietly and so relaxed that he fell asleep at the mike. Solange could suffer a similar fate with this crap song.

  53. May I suggest the perfect follow-up for the Japanese market?

  54. anonymous[141] • Disclaimer says: • Website

    Time to get PAID!

  55. anonymous[141] • Disclaimer says:

    She has pretty hair.

  56. “During the writing of “Don’t Touch My Hair” and the creation of the full album, she has posted personal essays on her website, Saint Heron …”

    Saint Heron? As in Gil Scott Heron? Now there was a song!

  57. @Whiskey

    Some White dude shot up a Madden gaming tournament after he lost

    Yeah, a (((white dude))) named David Katz. Cousin of yours?

    • Agree: Realist
  58. Tyrion 2 says:

    White women are very prone to giving genuine compliments to black women on their unstraightened hairstyles. You’d think that would always be taken well but it seems that occasionally it isn’t. Maybe the compliments don’t match the perceived effort put in?

  59. And whatever you do, don’t touch her hair after rubbing your hands on a balloon and then sliding your feet on the carpet.

    I’m not even sure what would happen, but it can’t be good.

  60. It’s interesting to see what crazy, self-handicapping things women will do to be pretty. For my money, letting your hair get real long and filling it with beads ranks high on the list.

  61. Anonymous[337] • Disclaimer says:

    It seems that blacks want to believe that white people are obsessed with their hair and want to touch it

    Blacks want to believe that white people are obsessed with them period.

    Until the rise of the SJW, nothing was ever further from the truth.

  62. Anonymous[337] • Disclaimer says:

    The black woman loudly exclaimed “ your scalp is white”

    Nowadays she’d yell “yo scalp is white af” and probably receive a promotion for it.

  63. Anonymous[337] • Disclaimer says:
    @Jenner Ickham Errican

    Widely quoted in relation to that:

    Former Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine released a statement saying, “I am horrified and I am furious” and that it’s time for new leaders.

    When they commit crimes, they’re white, so white.

    Funny thing though, I didn’t know Miami was so close to Jacksonville.

    • Replies: @Dtbb
  64. anonymous[141] • Disclaimer says: • Website

    Breaking news … interloper tries to touch Beyoncé’s HAIR.

  65. anonymous[141] • Disclaimer says:
    @Jenner Ickham Errican

    Just want the world to know that I would have hidden David Katz in my attic!

  66. A blonde or redhead in India or China will find women and girls want to touch her hair. Just saying.

    Anyway this isn’t a new black thing. Rastas have always been protective of their locks. From 1976.

    “Don’t touch I dread
    Look but don’t touch
    Take your hands from I head
    You touch touch too much”

  67. People with Rasta hair are never in possession of marijuana.

  68. marko says:

    Where can I find pubic-noggins to touch?

  69. @PiltdownMan

    You see it quite often these days, especially in American usage. The dictionary on my computer even offers it as an alternative.

  70. Pat Casey says:
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    Correct. When I was in elementary school I would often go into Anacostia DC with my mom who worked for a Catholic charity and then was a public school teacher (at the worst public school in the nation.) The little black girls would all pet my hair, fascinated. I’ll never forget it. Looking back it was pretty adorable.

    However, when I was in college I dated a black girl. I was not allowed to touch her hair for the simple and serious reason that it was very hard to get and keep it the way she liked it and very easy to mess it up. So I would do it to just get a rise out of her.

  71. AndrewR says:

    Yeah, negro hair has always seemed kind of gross to me. I can’t imagine wanting to touch it.

    • Replies: @OP
  72. Seth says:

    That’s because many of them have other women’s hair sewn to a mesh that is attached to their scalp. So their sweat and sebum etc just builds up and never gets washed away.

  73. Brutusale says:
    @Jenner Ickham Errican

    From Baltimore. Even the Jews there are violent!

  74. Sue D. Nim says: • Website
    @Hamlet's Ghost

    The Tubes – Don’t touch me there!

  75. CK says:

    The faint aroma of citronella in the morning civics class; it smells like summer’s nights watching the skeeters flutter around the Texas big hair. Why yes it smells like victory.

  76. Thirdtwin says:

    I was on a roller coaster last weekend, and somebody’s hair was hanging from a beam about fifty feet up. Looked like a dead black cat. I would love to have been on the platform when that train came in. Better bolt it on tight, ladies.; the coasters all go upside-down now.

    • LOL: Dtbb
  77. Thirdtwin says:

    Remember when Kelly Osbourne touched Zendaya’s hair with words? Poof! Banished.

  78. Astorian says:

    Okay, I admit, I’m an old white guy.

    Still, in my entire life, it has never yet occurred to me to ask ANYONE “Can I touch your hair?” The very question sounds plain weird.

    Who and where ARE all these white people dying to run their fingers through Afros, dreadlocks and cornrows???

  79. Dtbb says:

    He is running for governor. Primary tomorrow.

  80. OP says:

    I was guilty of this when I was a child and teenager. I did this because it looked interesting and it felt fluffy. It was seldom and no one ever seemed to take offence. The opposite was also true, with black girls touching and playing with my hair. I even had some people ask to brush it (long, wavy, black). I liked the attention.

    Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. They should just take it as a compliment, because as you said, most people don’t care to touch it at all.

  81. Lurker says:

    Some Jewish dude shot up a Madden gaming tournament. FTFY.

  82. Neuday says:

    This would imply the black woman thought that the scalp matches the hair color; brunette white women have a dark scalp, redheads have a red scalp. It’s doubtful she ever gave it a thought prior to that moment. Having low impulse control, she proclaimed her epiphany “Your scalp is white!”.

    Yes, they are just like us.

  83. MarcB. says:

    Nothing to see here folks, just more projection.

  84. Anon[277] • Disclaimer says:

    Citronella as in tiki torches, sort of.

  85. Anonymous[125] • Disclaimer says:

    This is not news. Rod Dreher writing about an experience with Solange’s hair at a Kraftwerk concert, which is a bit surreal if you stop and think about it:

    Aside from all that, black women do put up with crap about their hair, but I’m not awake enough to play devil’s advocate right now.

  86. @anonymous

    The hilariously obtuse Goldberg misses the flip side of the Anne Frank test:

    I’d hide Seinfeld in my attic, but not Jeffrey Goldberg!

  87. Anon[277] • Disclaimer says:
    @Hapalong Cassidy

    There was a point, I think Soft Parade, where the Doors suddenly started listing who actually wrote what, rather than “The Doors.” I think they broke up soon after.

    I don’t think the Beatles ever stopped listing most songs as “Lennon/McCartney” perhaps for legal reasons, but somehow at some point people began knowingly says “that’ John’s song” etc. After the breakup it was clear how different the two were musically. Did they ever write anything actually together? IIRC, A Day in the Life was two leftover songs, one by Lennon, some piece of fluff by Mac, scotch taped together.

    • Replies: @Jim Don Bob
  88. Corn says:

    My mom once met a black man who had been a college basketball star in this area back in the ‘60s or ‘70s. After graduating he spent time in Ireland playing either pro or exhibition basketball there before returning home to a prosperous white collar career. He told my mom that he enjoyed Ireland, the people were very friendly, but they annoyed him at times because they’d always want to touch his skin and hair. This was 1960s or 70s Ireland mind you.

    I agree with other posters here. Maybe in other white nations where blacks are truly a rarity the whites may get touchy or grabby but here in the US I don’t know whites to go around petting black women’s hair.

    • Replies: @OFWHAP
  89. sabril says:
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    Yes, it’s a bit strange but it seems to be a complete fantasy, 180 degrees removed from the truth.

    Here’s a news report about a black woman who claims that people try to touch her hair as many as 10 times a day:

    Perhaps unsurprisingly, she is extremely unattractive.

    Actually, now that I think about it, I shouldn’t be surprised. For years I have known ugly feminists to spin and swap tales about men attempting to sexually assault them.

  90. sabril says:

    It’s fascinating, because they complain about men giving them unwanted attention when the real issue is men NOT giving them attention.

    Plenty of the time, people complain about X when the real issue is Y. But it’s odd for people to complain about X when the real issue is ~X.

  91. Lurker says:

    A popular British band – Madness – seem to spread the credit around. The guys one knows or suspects are the main songwriters are credited most often. But everyone gets a few credits or sometimes the whole band is credited. That way the heavy lifters are rewarded most but all the guys get something out of it. And, for all I know, they do indeed contribute something to the writing.

  92. Excal says:

    Pop songs are a bit like academic papers: the longer the list of authors, the less likely it is that any of them had anything to do with the actual work of authorship.

  93. countenance says: • Website

    Nobody hates black womens’ hair more than black women themselves. Hence the $10 billion a year they spend on buying and sewing the hair of white and Asian women into their scalps.

    • Replies: @Pat Kittle
  94. Clyde says:

    1967 David Crosby – “Almost cut my hair”
    2016 Solange- “Don’t touch my hair” — HONKY!

    Afro hair on women has to be a bear to deal with and to tame. Hence all the lotions, potions, gels, oils being poured into their hairdos. Might consume an extra 30-60 minutes compared to all those Beckys with straight lanky hair that just hangs down naturally. So the Beckys are able to get to the office early and get all their racist promotions.

    Most races have straight hair or wavy hair, minimally curly. African hair is the exception along with what Australian aborigines might have.

  95. A while back I read a Black co-ed’s long lament.

    She was deeply offended that her 2 White roommates ignored her “natural” hair altogether. You just can’t please these people.

    Anyway, it never ever ever occurred to me to want to touch a Black person’s hair.

  96. @Anon

    The main writer of Lennon/McCartney songs usually sang lead. Nobody ever sang better harmony than Paul did to John.

  97. RH says:

    Interesting to note that the solecism “lead” (“lead Knowles”) instead of “led” escaped the proofreader.

  98. True story – had to watch my 4 year old nephew with my sister a few years ago at an end of school year family picnic at a suburban NYC area grammar school. My nephew asked the young black man supervising an inflatable slide to touch his hair (he had those long ass dreadlocks all black NFL secondary players seem to have a la Colts Bob Sanders). Guy played football for a local college (Pace University) and was shocked but played along and let my nephew touch his dreads. All very innocent.

    Was going to correct my nephew but figured thats the reeducation camp’s job.



  99. @Anon

    The best composition text I know of for popular song was written by a Manhattan School of Music professor who served as expert witness in many such trials.

    Evidently it concentrates the mind.

    • Replies: @Anonymous
  100. @countenance

    “We Need Our Weave”:
    — (


  101. Pat Boyle says:

    Old Man River is not what most people seem to think. It is not about slavery. The action in Showboat takes place decades after the end of slavery and the stevedore jobs were good jobs, well paid and highly sought after. The stevedores had a kind of early labor union and most of these coveted positions were held by the Irish. Blacks were quite lucky to get any of them.

    Blacks in this period celebrated Emancipation Day. They knew they were free. But the Showboat producers needed another song and wanted a black slavery ‘hook’ in the story line to play to the New York white audience’s sympathy for blacks. So they created an ersatz black work song.

    In the original show Joe is a comic lazy bumbling black lay about. He sings a song depicting his status as a kind of Stepin Fetchit character. But they cut that song today and rebuild the story around Old Man River with Joe as a heroic anti-slavery symbol.

    Similarly slavery was not a part of the Roman shipping. Ben-Hur couldn’t have been a galley slave because the Roman rowers were organized as a guild of free men. But again the audience wanted stories about slaves not real history. The tradition continues with recent Hollywood slave movie hokum.

    • Replies: @OP
  102. utu says:
    @Jenner Ickham Errican

    I was alluding to the Son of Sam.

  103. OFWHAP says:

    When I went on a school-sponsored trip to China back in the summer of 2007, the Chinese rubbed my hairy arms and my wavy hair and took pictures of the 6’1″ blonde girl and the 300-lb. black girl in our group.

    • Replies: @Corn
  104. OP says:
    @Pat Boyle

    “Similarly slavery was not a part of the Roman shipping. Ben-Hur couldn’t have been a galley slave because the Roman rowers were organized as a guild of free men. But again the audience wanted stories about slaves not real history. The tradition continues with recent Hollywood slave movie hokum.”

    The slave part comes from the book, so it’s really the movie being true to the book. Perhaps the author was catering to what the late Victorian readers wanted.

  105. @Hapalong Cassidy

    Correction – the song I was thinking of was is “Uptown Funk” by Bruno Mars – uh I mean “Mick Ronson featuring Bruno Mars”, both of whom are listed among the myriad of the song’s authors. And that’s another weird thing – since when does the producer get top billing over the singer? That would be like if all of Taylor Swift’s songs were billed as “Shellback featuring Taylor Swift”.

  106. @fish

    Why does all the stupid shit drop on my birthday?

    Because it’s coming down every day now–and your birthday is a day.

  107. Hmm, maybe we don’t need to figure out the 1000+ genes involved in IQ and behavior and be able to manipulate them all.

    Maybe if we can just CRISPR-cas9 in a few genes to give black women some decent hair we can have racial peace? Maybe it’s really that easy?

  108. Corn says:

    It’s funny you mention the blonde girl. I have a friend who went to China on a college trip a few years before you. She too had a statuesque blonde girl in her group and she said the Chinese snapped pics of her constantly.

    She joked if there is a Chinese equivalent of Facebook, the blonde probably went viral.

  109. anon[343] • Disclaimer says:

    A few years ago some black women staged a kind of exhibit where they stood in public with signs saying, “You can touch my hair.” As it turned out, the only people interested in touching their hair were other black women.

    • Replies: @Clyde
  110. Olorin says:

    the hundreds of years of oppression black people have encountered due to their hair,

    So THAT’s what it was!

    So instead of the legal arson of civil rights we just needed different hairdressers?

    Wait till she wrecks her cervical vertebrae slinging around all those beads at the end of force-multiplier braided fiber whips. Guess that’ll also be whites’ fault. For buying Manhattan for beads but paying in smallpox blankets before stuffing all the Puerto Ricans in gas chambers administered by cis-nazis.

    Just one question: are we to conclude that back in the paradisical homelands of the African continent, nobody ever dissed, hit, assaulted, or killed one another for they hair? Or considered some hair better than others?

  111. Clyde says:

    lol…… I have extreme non curiosity about black women’s hair. They obsess over it so much that they think everyone else must be at least intrigued by it. No wonder the typical black family net worth is so low. They are spending crazy amounts on women’s hair products.
    You adjust for income and black women spend lots more on their crowning glory than white women.

  112. @PiltdownMan

    …could this woman, or any Indian woman, pass for black, unless the person believing this is either dense or legally blind.

    Indians themselves are acutely aware of who’s black and who isn’t. And if you want their opinion of blacks in detail, just ask them after you’ve had a beer or two with them.

  113. Jonah says:

    Beyonce as Pop Queen is an interesting test of wokeness. We are all expected to acknowledge her cultural supremacy, and yet… how many of her songs have cracked the top 50 on a Billboard Year End chart in this decade?

    Only one. “Drunk In Love” was a middling hit five years ago (the #35 song that year) — but it’s already fallen out of the wedding DJ rotation.

    Her last mega-hit was “Single Ladies” and that was nine years ago (#8 in 2009).

    She makes a ton of dough touring on the strength of her aging back catalogue, and by milking racial identity to maintain her cultural status. But she stopped being a relevant artist MUSICALLY almost a decade ago. She’s as far removed from radio dominance as Elvis was in his Vegas wing suit phase.

    • Replies: @Steve Sailer
  114. @Jonah

    Does anybody work harder than a lady pop star: Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, etc etc

    They must need only about 3 hours of sleep per night.

  115. @Brady

    You do realize it’s white woman doing all the touching, right?

    Is this some sort of male privilege thing thinking things are always about them? It’s been my experience that when this complaint is made it’s not about men…………..I did not however read thru this whole mess of an article so it may be in there somewhere.

  116. @Whiskey

    …even more Black worship.

    Well, it would appear we have the perfect martyr for it:

  117. @PiltdownMan

    The pictures are of the 2014 Miss America, Nina Davuluri, who could pass for black.

    Nope. Ms. Davuluri is far too fine-featured to support your assertion.

    From personal experience, Desi girls are tons of fun. Highly recommended for casual/semi-serious dating!

    As always, Mis carmelitas!

  118. Anonymous[309] • Disclaimer says:
    @Reg Cæsar

    What is the name of the book and/or the author? I googled all the key words in your comment but didn’t come up with anything

  119. FPD72 says:
    @Ghost of Bull Moose

    My daughter, who has long, blonde hair, did a six-week long missionary internship in Paupa New Guinea in 1999. She spent a lot of time in rural villages, lived with native families, etc. Everywhere she went, children wanted to touch her hair. We have pictures of her holding kids; in every one of them, the kid is holding her hair.

    Oh, and the missionaries she was with received several offers to buy her as a wife. A blonde wife in PNG would have been a real trophy.

  120. inertial says:

    My favorite part about that Wiki article is the warning, “This section possibly contains original research.”

    Ya think so?

    I know what they are trying to say but their using “original” and “research” to refer to that text is hilarious.

  121. Che Guava says:

    ‘Don’t Touch My Hair’ must have some connection with post-hippy (or post-boomer) US band The Tubes song, ‘Don’t Touch Me There’, it is a perfect rhyme, so pretty clear, I like a few of their other songs, but that is the one that makes one LOL while loving the arrangement, too. They have better, for arrangement, but I have not heard them for too long, although their disco single Prime Time is another to enjoy.

    Don’t Touch Me There is as close as they could get to Spectrestyle, and brilliant. Recommended to all commentors who have not heard it and may like pop music.

    As for ‘Don’t Touch My Hair’, I would prefer never to hear it, and it does not appear to have become fashionable in Japan, so, since it is likely to be a bore, I am happy at the chance that I will never be forced to hear it.

    Being forced to hear John ‘Legend’s’ clearly insincere crap at some chain places is more than enough to make me want to go to the toilet and make myself vomit.

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