California’s voting rules could mean key races don’t get decided for days — or weeks.
By KEVIN YAMAMURA 11/05/2018 05:09 AM EST
… The California slow-vote-count scenario means that if the balance in the House is close, the entire country may have to wait to know whether Democrats take back the chamber. … Two years ago, [Darrell] Issa’s narrow win wasn’t declared until the Monday after Thanksgiving, nearly three weeks after Election Day.
As I explained last June, California, the home of Silicon Valley, counts votes slower than Third World countries like Paraguay.
Of course, countries like Paraguay don’t have mail ballots coming in by slow boat and migrant caravan from Honduras, Guatelombia, the Galapagos Islands, the Kerguelen Islands, Transnistria, Abbottabad, Abkhazia, Azkaban, Raqqa, Narnia, and The Republic of Pirates.
Nor do these Third World countries have to provide, by legislation or court order, ballots in English, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Armenian, Navajo, Persian, Arabic, Syriac, Panjabi, Punjabi, Hmong, Mixtec, Esperanto, Hittite, Proto-Indo-European, Klingon, Linear B, Linear A, !San Clickspeak, Shavian Alphabet, Incan Knot Lingo, Runic, Voynich Manuscript, Semaphore, Canary Islands Whistle Speech, The Analytical Language of John Wilkins, American Sign Language, Thieves’ Argot, Pig Latin, Smoke Signals, Ouija Board, Enigma Encryption, Turing Machine, General Semantics, System Basic, Cityspeak, Telepathy, Dolphin, Assembler, COBOL, Coco Sign Language, HTML, PDF, Graffiti, Gang Signs, Tattoos, SMS, Bitcoin, and Emoji, plus certain languages spoken only by individual pairs of identical twins.