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Why Don't They Understand Illegal Immigration?
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Dear Mexican:I’m a wetback myself; actually, in the eyes of a gringo, we are all wetbacks. I’m sick and tired of the political caca about illegal immigration. The gringo government knows and very well understands the plus and minus of our vatos’ economic effect to the U.S. economy. The ones that don’t get are the blind people who don’t like our drunk culos.

It seems that a lot of people e-mail you about “Mexicans coming over here ruining our system,” or “They’re putting a burden on our healthcare,” and a whole host of other stuff are like that. Then they follow up with some (pardon my language) stupid, dumb shit like “The wall will keep them out.” It seems to me that they really don’t understand the real problem (or solution) here.

Peeved in Plano

Dear Pocho: Ya think? As I’ve been saying in this columna for over a decade, the only thing that will stop Mexican immigration to this country is a fundamental economic change for both sides of la frontera: the end of the free economy in el Norte, and the end of crony socialism in Mexico. Trump and his Trumpbros know this but don’t dare attack either system because they’re all in the same swamp—that’s why we’re now getting the wall, which will prove as effective in stopping Mexicans in coming over as a tissue paper is in stopping the flow of the Rio Grande. But you know what? Let Trump build his wall. It’s going to fail and embarrass him. And even if it succeeds, it’ll create a revolution in Mexico, which means millions of refugees will easily tear down that wall and settle in Aztlán once and for all. Be careful what you wish for, Trumpbros: it just might marry your daughter.

 

Quisiera saber si las Americas eran gluten free before 1492. No soy foodie; solo un campesino/cocinero curioso.

Viva El Corn

ORDER IT NOW

Dear Paisa: You want to know whether the Americas were gluten-free before 1492, and the answer is ahuevo. Wheat came—along with beef, pork, and pestilence—with the wasichus; before that, Mexicans mostly ate, fruit, vegetables, and whatever game meat they caught, something that most gabachos and even Mexicans don’t realize as they scarf down a carnitas burrito washed down with Bohemia (what: you thought that lager was named after Cuauhtémoc’s son?). That’s why I’m all for gluten-free hipsters and Mexicans alike to go beyond what they consider “Mexican” food and embrace an all-raza diet of nopales, frijoles, squash, corn, purslane and so much more. And lest the primos think anyone who wants to forsake chicharrones and chorizo in favor of a vegetarian lifestyle is a Prius-driving chavala, get yourself a copy of Decolonize Your Diet: Mexican-American Plant-Based Recipes for Health and Healing. Written by professors Luz Calva and Catrióna Rueda Esquibel after Profe Calva was diagnosed with breast cancer, it’s part-cookbook, part-history, and a magnificent toma, güey to any gabacho who thinks Mexican food’s default setting is Montezuma’s Revenge.

 

Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

 
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  1. The left will be squawking about suppressed undocumented voters in the next national election.

    Word games, slogans, and euphemisms are all they have to replace facts and logic.

  2. >>>millions of refugees will easily tear down that wall and settle in Aztlán once and for all

    Ten cuidado. Cortes les mostró lo que occure cuando paisanos encontran armas.

  3. MarkinLA says:

    And even if it succeeds, it’ll create a revolution in Mexico, which means millions of refugees will easily tear down that wall and settle in Aztlán once and for all.

    Good then we can finally add those computer controlled Gatling guns to the tops of the wall that everybody wants but is afraid to call for.

  4. mtn cur says:

    Trump and his wall. I am reminded of the dim witted general who had his troops dig trenches with the earth works behind the trench.

    • Replies: @Bill Jones
  5. VICB3 says:

    “…millions of refugees will easily tear down that wall and settle in Aztlán…”

    Or the United States just might say to hell with it and invade then annex all of Mexico. Worked for the Romans, for a while anyway.

    Borders are like firewalls in a building or the watertight compartments on a ship. They make it a pain in the ass to go from one part to another, but when things go bad you’re glad they are there.

    You’re probably correct about the Wall. In fact it would probably be easier, cheaper and more flexible just to station somebody with an umbrella, lawn chair, radio, binoculars, sandbags and a rifle every quarter mile or so to keep their eyes on things. But it *is* a symbol of a change of thought, a realization, finally, that the U.S. can no longer afford to be the social or economic safety valve for the rest of the World, let alone Mexico. That, and that admitting disparate cultures from East of the Hajnal line are a source of long term problems.

    In other words, the boat is full, and immigration without assimilation is a formula for disaster

    You bleat endlessly about the Recoquista, but consider that without that Border, that without that oh-so horrible Gabacho NorteAmericano culture, you *would* be in Mexico, and complete with the worst features of Mexican Autocracy and Mexican Catholicism. In which case you’d probably be an illiterate Indio, toiling in the fields someplace instead of sitting in OC, safe, clean and prosperous.

    Further, I find it curious that you don’t live and work in Mexico. As far as I can tell, you write a blog, and that can be done anywhere. Certainly the cost of living there is far, far less than Southern California, meaning the money you make writing would afford a luxury lifestyle compared to inflated Southern California housing prices. And if, to judge from your, er… missives, Mexican Culture is so very wonderful, and Mexico an Elysium, then what in the world are you doing here?

    I think that we both know the answer. So be happy for the wall and what it represents, because it’s the only thing that’s keeping you, your lifestyle, and political writings safe.

    Just a thought.

    VicB3

  6. jim jones says:

    If you make the White man angry you will be sorry

    • Replies: @in the middle
  7. @VICB3

    And even if it succeeds, it’ll create a revolution in Mexico, which means millions of refugees will easily tear down that wall and settle in Aztlán once and for all.

    I mean, if it creates a revolution and everything is wonderful in Mexico, why do they need to come to the United States?

    • Replies: @The Plutonium Kid
  8. @mtn cur

    It’s an incitive to fight.

    • Replies: @Bill Jones
  9. @Bill Jones

    fucking keyboard: Incentive.

    What happened to the edit window?

  10. anon • Disclaimer says:

    So when will this fundamental change in Mexico’s’ economy occur? There is no reason why Mexico could not be a reasonably prosperous country.

    • Replies: @some random guy
  11. @anon

    Something will happen when we send millions back to Mexico. We’ve been their safety valve for way too long. Just imagine, millions needing jobs, food and housing, all streaming into a place which has barely enough for those who stayed home. Can’t say it’s gonna be a revolution but it will be huge no matter what.

  12. VICB3 says:

    “…Mexicans mostly ate, fruit, vegetables, and whatever game meat they caught…”

    Oh. Really?:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibalism_in_pre-Columbian_America

    http://anthropology.msu.edu/anp363-ss13/2013/04/21/human-sacrifice-and-cannibalism-in-the-aztec-people/

    And so forth:

    https://www.google.com/#q=aztec+cannibalism

    Takeaway: Human flesh was a major source of protein for the Aztecs et al.

    So what exactly did you think happened to the corpses of the sacrificed? Did you think that they were given a nice burial?

    Carnitas are carnitas, I guess.

    Just a thought.

    VicB3

  13. Taco Town says:

    The wall is only step 1. Steps 2-4 are denying illegal aliens all government services and welfare, making it illegal to employ illegal aliens and prosecuting employers vigorously, and catching and deporting the illegal aliens who still come.

    Tearing down the wall is an invasion that will be repelled by force.

    • Replies: @ficticious
  14. the only thing that will stop Mexican immigration to this country is a fundamental economic change for both sides of la frontera: the end of the free economy in el Norte, and the end of crony socialism in Mexico.

    Also the end of the welfare state in this country.

    Its kind of a myth that people migrate from the poorer to the richer country. You don’t see too many Haitians in the Dominican Republic. No wall there, afaik

    • Replies: @anon
    , @Adar.
  15. @Daniel Chieh

    A revolution wouldn’t necessarily make things better. As for as I can tell, most revolutions are disasters.

  16. TG says:

    With respect, walls do work – when they are backed up with laws that are actually enforced.

    The walls around the vast estates of wealthy oligarchs like Mark Zuckerberg are relatively low. They could be easily scaled with a modest ladder. But anyone doing this would quickly be arrested (‘open borders’ are so only for little people). Seeing this, most people don’t even try, and Zuckerberg enjoys his luxury in peace.

    Before about 1970, illegal immigration into the United States had negligible economic or demographic effects, even without a wall, because the law was enforced. A few Mexicans managed to sneak in, but it was hard, and that deterred most. But long refusal to enforce the law has led to an out-of-control situation, perhaps beyond repair, we shall see. The wall per se is hardly relevant, it is more of a symbol/speed bump, but for now nonetheless important.

    My grandparents immigrated from Sweden. At the time Sweden was miserably poor, and the Swedish elite were quite open that the safety valve of immigration to the United States was essential to maintaining the status quo. Then this safety valve was shut off, and additional people like my grandparents were no longer allowed to come here, and the average worker in BOTH countries started to make progress. Because the Swedes realized that they could no longer crush the average worker into the mud or there would be a revolution.

    Whether that would apply to the current situation w.r.t. Mexico and the United States, I can not say. But certainly the status quo is dragging America down, and not raising Mexico up (wages there are now lower even than China’s, I believe). Perhaps it is not racist to suggest that it is time for a change. Letting Mexico export its surplus population is allowing the oligarchs to become fabulously wealthy on the backs of all that cheap labor. Maybe they need to face the prospect of collapse before they will agree to lighten up.

  17. anon • Disclaimer says:
    @frayedthread

    Its kind of a myth that people migrate from the poorer to the richer country. You don’t see too many Haitians in the Dominican Republic. No wall there, afaik

    Not true

    DR has deported more than 100k Haitians in recent years

    https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2016/06/haiti-dominican-republic-reckless-deportations-leaving-thousands-in-limbo/

  18. @TG

    Chinese annual wages have exceeded Mexican wages since 2013 and have skyrocketed past since, even without considering the proliferation of unpaid work aka slavery in Mexico.

  19. Adar. says:
    @frayedthread

    Go look up the Parsley Massacre. Dominicans killing Haitian illegals in prodigious number.

  20. @VICB3

    Dude, well, here is my thought on all this arguing: Mexico’s issues are two: Catholicism, and Masonry. Both supposedly anti each other, but together running Mexico as their fiefdom. But the worst is Catholicism, since it keeps the people behind the ‘father’ or bishop or whatever the Catholic church has for them. The ‘fathers’ are the final authority in their communities, and keep the people ignorant, and can do any evil as long as they ‘confess’ their ‘sins’ and give the ‘limosnas’ $$$$$, every mass. Money, money, money, just as their photocopies, the ‘tele-evangelicals’ in the USA, keeping the sheep inline and shearing the sheep. Religion is after all the opium of the masses, to keep them ignorant and dumb.

    So, here is my motto:

    “thou shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free’.

    that is all folks

    • Replies: @Anon
  21. @jim jones

    White man as pale face? or as Americans define white man. Once I was laughing so hard, when I hear in the radio ‘in the look out for a dark, white male, I thought WHAT? It seems people are color dumb. Mexicans should change their names like the Judeans, to Andrew jones, or Joseph Robinson, Michael linden, etc. So they could be ‘dark white man’ Hahahaha.

  22. @TG

    My grandparents immigrated from Sweden.

    Believe it or not, Sweden was, before the middle east invasion, a some what homogeneous Country. Vast difference! Mexico is a patch of different ethnic groups, with 31 states each with its own ethnicity. From Germanic areas like Puebla, Mexico State, to Tlaxcala, and southern Mexico, to Japanese in Mexico City, and all else. Now, ethnic groups, populate vast areas where not even Spanish is spoken. So your comparison with Sweden, is not even relevant. Plus, Mexico is what, several times the size of Sweden? With 110 million people under the Catholic oppression only comparable to the times of Martin Luther in Europe or worse, submerged in the unbearable burden of the ‘padres’ and bishops, people are in such ignorance of the outside world, that going up north, is a dream come true. Hopefully they start a revolution, not armed revolution, but an spiritual revolution and rid themselves of the papist oppression. Until then, their hope is an illusion.

    in the middle.

    BTW, all catholic lands are oppressed, wonder why.

  23. @Taco Town

    its always funny to hear “illegal aliens” what is that? immigration is a law. so its complicated involves courts, endless appeals…

    why do you think there has never been a mass of deportations? until “illegal alien” means “brown” it doesnt mean anything. i think you people have a burocracy confused with your own impulses.

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