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Dear Mexican: I need to know why do salvatruchas think they are superior to every Mexican and Guatemalan in every way? I go to a community college in the San Fernando Valley that is infested with them, and the way they portray Mexicans to other people makes me angry. Sometimes, I would like to tell them about what bad and nasty crap they have done since the urban terrorist organization, MS-13 has destroyed the Hispanic community even worse. Now some of us Mexicans are leaving places and migrating to other parts of Southern California. I know that some police at the southern border of Mexico have treated Salvadorans like shit, but that is no reason for them to chingar con los Mexicans’ reputation. It’s hard enough with some of the prejudices we mojados confront every day, but to have another Hispanic culture mess it up any more? Tell me what is wrong with those guys?
Mixed Mexican of Sherman Oaks
Dear Pocho: Do you realize you just wrote for me a Mad Libs of assimilation that people can apply to any successful immigrant group in America ever? I’m ever-grateful! Here, lemme show you:
I need to know why do (newest immigrant group) think they are superior to every (assimilated ethnic group) and (another assimilated ethnic group) in every way? I go to a (workplace or business) in the (old municipal stronghold of assimilated ethnic group) that is infested with (newest immigrant group), and the way they portray (assimilated ethnic group) to other people makes me angry. Sometimes I would like to tell them about what bad and nasty crap they have done since the (gang or national movement associated with newest immigrant group) has destroyed the (assimilated ethnic group) community even worse. Now some of us (assimilated ethnic group) are leaving places and migrating to other parts of (suburbs of old municipal stronghold of assimilated ethnic group). I know that (some situation involving assimilated ethnic group) have treated (newest immigrant group) like shit, but that is no reason for them to chingar con los (assimilated ethnic group) reputation. It’s hard enough with some of the prejudices we (former derogatory nickname for assimilated ethnic group that they appropriated and now use as a term of endearment for each other—but woe to anyone else who uses it) confront every day, but to have another (newest immigrant group) mess it up any more? Tell me what is wrong with those guys?
So, to recap: Salvadorans hate Mexicans because we hated Salvadorans, just like Irish hate Italians because Italians hated the Irish. How about we break that cycle? This Mexican did!
I went to a Mexican birthday party at my neighbor’s house a few weeks ago for their daughter who just turned six years old. I was surprised when I was the only guest who bought her a toy. All she got was a bunch of clothes. I don’t know any white six-year-olds that would WANT clothes for their birthday. What’s up with that?
Confused in Texas
Dear Gabacho: No kids of any culture want clothes as a regalo, period. But Mexican adults know niños grow super-fast, so they give ropa as presents to help others with the cost of living. This custom ends with adolescence, when people start giving Mexican teens condoms—or rather, they should…
Ask the Mexican at firstname.lastname@example.org, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!