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Why Do Mexicans Let Their Mothers Boss Them?
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Dear Mexican: I’m asking this question for my best friend, who also happens to be my ex-girlfriend. Both she and her guy are educated Mexican-Americans. She moved in with her fiancé, who is also Mexican, at his home. The problem is that his parents also live there. His overbearing mom has seven dogs and numerous chickens, still does everything for her “baby” like making his lunch everyday and cleaning the room he shares with my ex, and offering her “ranchito” advice on everything. Contrary to what she said earlier, the mom has told her that she will not move until her son asks her.

Now, they might try to buy a duplex so they can at least have some privacy or even a 2nd home. The mother tries to make her feel guilty saying that it is normal in Mexico, and her son loves the house he worked so hard to buy. Her fiancé might be in the worst position, because he will lose his girl (my ex), evict his mom (probably to an ok apartment), or need to move into a duplex or buy a 2nd house. My ex has lived there close to a year, and is pushing her ex to make a tough decision, or she is moving out. Can you tell me, what you think is the right thing to do? Gracias!

Ex Novio de Una Mexicana Maravillosa

Dear Ex-Boyfriend of a Marvelous Mexican Woman: Why do I suspect your ex has nothing to do with this question, and you’re just looking for my okay to break them up so you can whip out your Mexican thing? Go for it, as your fiancé is already on the way out: assimilated women will never understand the hold that a mami has on her son, and will never accept that a man can still be an adult even if his mom insists on washing his chonis every week because the damn gal in his life doesn’t use enough Suavitel. Your ex should be content with the fact her guy owns a house in this millennial era, and that she has a potential suegra that’ll offer free babysitting for life (go ask gabachos who live far away from their parents how much babysitting costs)—but she isn’t. So you got my blessing, Ex Novio: Break ‘em up. Just remember, though, that the mujer will soon start asking you why you love your mom so, so have fun with your pinche novela.

 

As a proud Tex-Mex, I’ve always heard huevos used to describe anyone with brass but huevón to describe a lazy ass. How can that be? Shouldn’t a huevón be a Super-Mex?

Tony Romo Should Retire

Dear Pocho: You’d think, right? But while praising someone’s testicular fortitude is an almost universal compliment, you don’t want your balls too big in Mexico, as that pegs you as animalistic—e.g., stupid. So that’s why huevón (big-balled) means lazy, similar to the Argentine boludo and the Chicano #fucktrump.—except Trump’s balls are as big as his hands.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

 
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  1. Here’s a more interesting question: Why did William Jefferson Clinton conceive a mulatto son by a Little Rock whore named Bobbie Anne Williams, to wit: Danney Williams?

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  2. Both she and her guy are educated Mexican-Americans. She moved in with her fiancé, who is also Mexican,

    hey Gus….the question you wrote yourself has a bit of repetition.

    LOL

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    • Replies: @Father O'Hara
    "Educated" Mexicans?? They made it thru grade school?
  3. Just guessing here but the Aztec and Mayan mamis also washed the balls of their sons into adulthood? It’s a Mexican tradition.

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  4. Why doesn’t he just send them back to Mexico? Better yet, why don’t they all go back to Mexico?

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  5. There’s no problema here that a little “ranchito” interior remodeling won’t fix. Head over to Home Depot with “La Troka” and pick up the following:

    a– about 50ea 2 x 2 x 8 ft. furring strips
    b– about 20 4 ft. x 8 ft. x 3/16″ cheap press wood interior panels
    c– Nails and liquid nails
    d– one spec house grade pre-hung interior door and lock set
    e– some cheap Styrofoam board to pack in the 2″ thick partition wall cavities (acoustical insulation (so “la suegra” won’t hear too much of the “gemidos y jadeados de sus polvos”) of your newly remodeled “ranchito”.

    Then just divide off your new ranchito into nido para la suegra y nido de amor

    If you’re not too handy with this type of project, you can also pick up a couple of vatos in the Home Depot day laborer lounge.

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  6. @interesting
    Both she and her guy are educated Mexican-Americans. She moved in with her fiancé, who is also Mexican,


    hey Gus....the question you wrote yourself has a bit of repetition.

    LOL

    “Educated” Mexicans?? They made it thru grade school?

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  7. I hope the Reconquista of Calif., N. Mexico, and Arizona happens. If these states become Mexico again our taxes will go down since we won’t have to pay for any social programs or wars around the world, property taxes will go down because hey it’s Mexico, there will be no minimum wage so I could have full time help around the house, formerly illegal immigrants will leave to go to the USA, real estate would be cheaper, there would be no loans and cash would be king. My car would never need to be smogged and I could bribe my way out of trouble for nothing instead of getting ripped off by lawyers. I’d be doing a lot better if Los Angeles became a city in Mexico again!

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    • Replies: @in the middle
    Keep dreaming. They do have minimum wages, its about 5 dls a day. As far as real state cheaper, you are dreaming, depends where you do go. However, since I retired, I moved south of the border, and yes, my water bill is 18 dollars every 4 months, and my electric bill about 9 dollars every other month. In AZ it was 300 dls a month during the heat season, so yes it is better here. And yes, you can bribe your way sometimes; my friend tried getting out of trouble with a highway patrol, and was fined thrice! so be careful. Once Trump becomes president, hopefully the wars will end, and he does a Nixon on Iran. Nixon went to China, and China was open to business. Or what Obomber did with Cuba. After all, Iran is not our enemy.
  8. I guess Donald Trump was right in insulting Mexicans. Last week Mexico showed its balls and fired its Jewish ambassador at UNESCO in Paris.

    https://rehmat1.com/2016/10/19/mexico-fires-jewish-ambassador-over-jerusalem/

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  9. Well you bean eating, bull torturing, tequila swilling Aztec,

    The letter seemed a bit sleasy. Your advice was straight on the money, the guy is just trying to break up the relationship.

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  10. @Phatty J
    I hope the Reconquista of Calif., N. Mexico, and Arizona happens. If these states become Mexico again our taxes will go down since we won't have to pay for any social programs or wars around the world, property taxes will go down because hey it's Mexico, there will be no minimum wage so I could have full time help around the house, formerly illegal immigrants will leave to go to the USA, real estate would be cheaper, there would be no loans and cash would be king. My car would never need to be smogged and I could bribe my way out of trouble for nothing instead of getting ripped off by lawyers. I'd be doing a lot better if Los Angeles became a city in Mexico again!

    Keep dreaming. They do have minimum wages, its about 5 dls a day. As far as real state cheaper, you are dreaming, depends where you do go. However, since I retired, I moved south of the border, and yes, my water bill is 18 dollars every 4 months, and my electric bill about 9 dollars every other month. In AZ it was 300 dls a month during the heat season, so yes it is better here. And yes, you can bribe your way sometimes; my friend tried getting out of trouble with a highway patrol, and was fined thrice! so be careful. Once Trump becomes president, hopefully the wars will end, and he does a Nixon on Iran. Nixon went to China, and China was open to business. Or what Obomber did with Cuba. After all, Iran is not our enemy.

    Read More
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