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When Will Baja California Become a U.S. State?
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Dear Mexican: My parents were born in Mexico. I was born in Dallas, Texas. This makes me a first-generation American, right? So, if my best friend’s dad was born in Mexico, and her mother is a Chicana, does this make her a first-generation American or a second-generation American?

Just Curious

Dear Pocha: In the eyes of the current attorney general, both you and your friend are Mexicans. ¡Trucha!


When do you think Baja California and other locations in the madre-land with lots of American expatriates become U.S. territories or better yet, states! I would be very eager to live in a beautiful coastal area surrounded by people with nice cars and the world’s most powerful military to back them up, I think the Mexicans would, too.


Dear Gabacho: Be careful what you wish for. If the United States and Mexico ever went to war, snowbirds like yourself would be the first people targeted by Mexicans. Don’t believe me? Ask the Chinese during the Mexican Revolution. Better make plans to move to Costa Rica, Nicaragua, or whatever other Latin American country gabachos retirees like to set up colonies in nowadays where they refuse to learn Spanish besides “gringo,” “cerveza” and “Soy americano.”


Why do Mexican women, who are basically good drivers, turn into morons when they turn into the Walmart parking lot? Also, here in New Mexico, you get the guys who sneer at you, pull into traffic in front of you at the last possible second, then slow down to 15 miles an hour. I’ve never seen this anywhere else. Are they Mexicans or just those “I am Espanish!” assholes showing off their inferiority complex?

Califa Motorhead

Dear Pocho: With all due respect, EVERYONE turns into morons at the Walmart parking lot—hell, at Walmart, period. But what I got surprised by in researching your pregunta is how relatively few Mexis shop there. A 2014 study by Kantar Retail found only about 10 percent of Walmart shoppers were Latinos (read: mostly Mexican), with raza preferring Dollar General and Family Dollar stores by far. I guess it makes sense: Mexicans prefer swap meets and yard sales when looking for low prices. But the stats are incomplete: in a graphic, Kantar excluded New Mexico. They gave no reason, but I know the answer, which also answers your queja about slow-driving men: The Land of Enchantment is where all preconceived notions about Mexicans go to claim they’re pure-blooded Spaniards going back to Cabeza de Vaca—but definitely not related to Estevanico!



What is the deal with Mexicans and their fear of U.S. banks? A recent home invasion netted the robbers $2,000 that the Mexicans who lived there were using for their next house payment. When I mentioned this to a Mexicana friend, she told me she was once robbed of $15,000 that she was keeping at her apt for a house payment. Doesn’t word reach the wabs from their relatives in El Norte that USA bank accounts are insured to $100,000?

Huero in the Barrio

Dear Gabacho: Ask Washington Mutual.


Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

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  1. How about a trade: Baja for Texas.

    We don’t really want Texas anymore, but I bet Mexico would be willing to trade something nice—like Baja—for it. Maybe just Baja Sur; we need to keep our wild weekends in TJ.

  2. Let Mexico keep Baja, just have all their citizens living illegally in CA move there. Its northern part has a similar climate, topography, etc. to Cali in the US but is less densely populated than the 3 coastal counties of SoCal, so I’m sure messicans would have no prob de-camping to a place so similar. As an added bonus they’ll be able to blabber in Spanish and wave their beloved flag 24/7/365 w/o annoying any gringos in the process. But then again maybe Cali has that magic dirt so many messicans crave and Baja (for some reason) doesn’t. or maybe it’s just that in Cali they have access to a full panoply of welfare programs and down in Baja they won’t. Then it’s a case of them not wanting the actual land (CA) but wanting what the gringos have been able to create on that land/

    • Replies: @Adar.
  3. Adar. says:

    “Be careful what you wish for. If the United States and Mexico ever went to war, snowbirds like yourself would be the first people targeted by Mexicans. ”

    The San Diego Plan. Kill all the gringo. Thank you amigo for confirming in the minds of all those persons that voted for Donaldo that they made the right decision.

    Thank you again amigo, and keep up the good work. More of it.

  4. Adar. says:
    @Lucas McCrudy

    Baja until recently for the most part an uninhabited wasteland. Not suited for human habitation until now the gringo comes along and develops the place. And the gringo only want to speak their tongue too. The nerve of the gringo.

  5. “In the eyes of the current attorney general, both you and your friend are Mexicans”

    wrong again moron, it’s people like YOU that think like that……….THE TITLE OF YOUR FUCKING COLUMN IS “ASK A MEXICAN”.

    sometimes your racism comes out in ways that shock me……this isn’t one of those times.

    • Replies: @gwynedd1
  6. Adar. says:

    Since Baja is a geological continuity of that continental area to include Los Angeles and San Diego further north it is only natural and yes correct and true that Baja be made part of the United States.

  7. I suspect that none of the commenters has lived in Baja. I’m an American retiree living in Baja, and my response is “Keep your friggin hands off Baja, it’s damn near perfect just as it is. “How could that possibly be?” , you ask, “considering that it’s filled with Mexicans, who don’t speak English, and is,… well,… you know “poor”?”

    Here’s where I am a bit conflicted: I don’t really want to tell you assholes what is so damn good about Baja/Mexico. But I’ll give you a taste. First, Baja is not currently loaded with ill-mannered, greedy stupid, ugly Americans. Turning it into an American state would surely put an end to that. Secondly, living here is very, very economical, precisely because it is not US, where the 1% is ripping all you folks off. But you don’t know it because you don’t live here to realized how horribly you are being reamed.

    Yes, Mexico is a horrid place, and Baja is the worst of the worst. No way do you want anything to do with Baja. For your own good, don’t ever come down here.

    • Replies: @Frankie
  8. gwynedd1 says:

    Yep, you harpooned that squidy before it changed color again. They change identity to suit them like the license plates on Bond’s Aston Martin.

    Writing it down now: Gustavo Arellano, hypocritical dumb fuck.

    Are ya fucking Mexican or not?

  9. Smitty says:

    It’s our machievellian plan, deport 10 million Mexicans and anchor babies to Baja and have them vote for US statehood to get US citizenship.

  10. Frankie says:
    @Jeff Davis

    very well then Mexico must break all relations with the United States and seek new allies in Russia or perhaps China better benefit a Russian military base in the states of Baja California, Sonora, Chihuahua Tamaulipas, or Coahuila Mexico would be one of the most allied of Russia with a new trade treaty with tanks and military support then No Trump, No yankees and No NAFTA is a total shit UNWELCOME FUERA YANKEES

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