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"Go Back to Europe"?
 

Dear Mexican: I have some questions and observations. During George, W. Bush’s administration, there was a lot of talk for and against comprehensive immigration reform (amnesty to some). One remark that I recall was stated by a Mexican that went something like, “Go back to Europe!!!!” Aren’t Mexicans of European descent also? Hello, colonized by Spain. I thought to myself, “Why don’t you go back to Europe? Unless you are puro indio, your roots from Europe also.” Immigration reform aside, what are your thoughts on going back to Europe?

Murrieta Maven

Dear Gabacha: Eh, we say that just to show how stupid gabachos yelling, “Go back to Mexico!” sounds. The only Mexicans who truly believe gabachos should head back to Europe are indigenazi types who claim they’re the pureblooded 15th linear descendant of Cuauhtémoc…while sporting facial hair straight from Extremadura.

 

Do Indians mangle Spanish as bad as they do English when you call a tech support line? What I like about Mexicans is, they are honest with you if they don’t understand what you just said. They ask you to say it again. And if you don’t understand a Mexican who is nobly attempting to learn that universal second language that is English, they try to say it again, more correctly. And Mexicans are grateful when you have helped them understand English a little bit better so they can communicate with you, without demanding you learn Spanish in return. Even in Mexico, Mexicans don’t mind if you don’t understand Spanish; they always take care that everybody can communicate with each other even if it means they speak English in Mexico to a tourist whose Spanish vocabulary is limited to the Taco Bell menu. Unlike Indian tech support, who seem to want to punish you for not understanding as they attempt to read English sentences from a piece of paper, that they have no interest in trying to understand. If they don’t get it right on the first try, then I have found that you should immediately hang up and call back hoping for somebody who can understand English. I have paid cancellation fees and returned electronics items only because of tech support that seems only interested in a sort of passive-aggressive jihad.

So back to my question: How does a Mexican deal with Indian tech support? Do you have some wisdom on how to navigate non-native speakers without having a stroke, Oh He Who Always Knows To Press Eight For Spanish?

An American Consumer

Dear Gabacho: We press “2”.

 

What do you think about just opening the U.S.-Mexico border (and for that matter all the borders in the world)? I think that a lot of people that go the U.S. illegally would much rather work in the U.S. for a few months and then go back to their home in Mexico and live off of the earnings for a while. You are a smart guy. I’m just curious what you think!

Bordering on a Bonus

Dear Gabacho: The Mexican has always been for open borders, if only because that’s been the American mantra since the days of Daniel Boone. I’d say more, but my column’s word count gets slashed every five years or so due to the death of print—yay, Internet! In other news [cut cut cut]

 

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

 

4 Comments to ""Go Back to Europe"?"

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  1. Retired
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    I’ll gladly settle for the deportation of all illegals, Euro, Hispanic and Asian, and particularly middle eastern.

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  2. Anonymous
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    I’ll gladly settle for you self-deporting yourself. Begone!

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  3. ” Unlike Indian tech support, who seem to want to punish you for not understanding as they attempt to read English sentences from a piece of paper, that they have no interest in trying to understand. If they don’t get it right on the first try, then I have found that you should immediately hang up and call back hoping for somebody who can understand English. I have paid cancellation fees and returned electronics items only because of tech support that seems only interested in a sort of passive-aggressive jihad.”

    Indians undergo extensive “accent neutralization” training and “cultural sensitivity” training in order to be tech support in an Indian call center. Though it can be argued that at least some Indian accents (we have hundreds of them) are not neutralizable, they (we) do work hard to sound as ‘Murican as possible on the lines when speaking to an American. The English that we have traditionally learned in school is British English so there are some, ahem, “nuances” of American English we may find odd, but that’s what our “cultural sensitivity training” covers, amongst other things.

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  4. TR
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    Excellent idea, however, as our government believes in amnesty for border jumpers and giving them free everything once they get here, it is highly unlikely that any serious deportation effort will ever be undertaken. As their numbers swell into a massive voting block, our representatives in Congress will increasingly bend to their will and America will be transformed into a third world ghetto where white Americans are a minority controlled by what is nothing less than an invasion of foreigners determined to change America into a version of their homelands. Does anyone even care that foreign terrorists are entering America every day through our Southern borders? Will they only pay attention after these terrorists start blowing up shopping malls, airports and anywhere else Americans congregate? I live on the Mexican border and have many friends who work for Homeland Security. All of them inform me that they constantly apprehend border jumpers from Middle East nations who hate America, and it is rarely reported in the main stream press. How many escape apprehension by Homeland Security and are freely running around in America? No one has a clue and it is apparent that our government, which spends hundreds of billions securing the borders of other nations, could care less about the safety and security of America citizens. Million of serious crimes have been committed by illegal aliens and over 400,000 convicted illegal aliens are packing into our state and federal prisons. Very few of them are deported when they are released from prison. In fact, Obama recently released 36,000 convicted murders, rapists and other assorted serious criminals back into society in what I consider a deliberate effort to endanger all of us in the push to transform America into a police state. Unless and until we take back our government from the bleeding heart liberals and groups like La Raza (the Mexican family) who have a death grip on our government, America as a sovereign nation will continue to disappear into a crime ridden black hole with foreign invaders running rampage across America. This November vote every incumbent out of office to make a statement that Americans come first over the hordes of illegal aliens that have flooded our nation.

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