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Fred Takes Month Off: Earth Wobbles in Orbit, Kingdoms Fall
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This sublime column will be on vacation until about October 15 from sheer exhaustion. The wells of libel and sedition are not without limits and, having run dry, must replenish themselves from the slow flow of bile’s aquifers. At the end of this respite, FOE will take Weighty Decisions, but for the moment there are books I have not red and red wine I have not drunk, the accumulation of which could shift the gravitational balance of the cosmos. I must attend to these matters. Fred, out.

I apologize for the gibberish that afflicted this week’s effort. A software failure.

(Republished from Fred on Everything by permission of author or representative)
 
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  1. Rest well, Fred. Agree or disagree, I always enjoy your work.

    Buenos nachos, bandito.

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  2. MEH 0910 says:

    Fred, don’t drink the 7Up!

    7Up gets a new ingredient in Mexico—meth

    7Up—the lemon-lime soda sometimes thought to be named for its original seven main ingredients—now has a troubling eighth ingredient in Mexico: methamphetamine.

    Health professionals in Arizona are warning travelers to the Mexicali area to be aware of possibly contaminated sodas there. The warning comes days after medical toxicologists and emergency doctors received reports of soda tampering in the area.

    According to the Attorney General of the State of Baja California, seven people were sickened and one died from the spiked soft drinks. Officials requested that merchants there suspend sales of 7Up and clear the product from their shelves. And an investigation is now in progress to figure out how the illicit stimulant got into the soda.

    Chris Barnes, a spokesperson for Dr Pepper Snapple Group, told Arizona news outlet AZCentral that 7Up products in the US were safe. “None of the 7Up products sold in the US are affected by the issue being reported in Mexico,” Barnes said. “Dr Pepper Snapple owns and licenses the 7Up brand only in the US and its territories. We do not market, sell, or distribute the brand internationally.”

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  3. Enjoy your vacations, Fred!
    Hope to see a ‘Reloaded Fred’ once the author of this column -that is you, gets an insane amount of red wine to purify his precious bodily fluids from the corruption of living in Mexico among half breeds, spicy food, and beer which tastes like a real beer and not some pussy new brand light Bud, marketed for the taste (without triggering) of those new tetra sexuals that claim for a safe space in America.

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  4. Don Bacon says:

    Fred, please come back — all is forgiven!! (heh)

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  5. TheOldOne says:

    Things do change; there was a time I enjoyed Fred; now I’d just as soon he packed it in for good.

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    • Replies: @John Jeremiah Smith

    Things do change; there was a time I enjoyed Fred; now I’d just as soon he packed it in for good.

     

    LOL. How unusual for the hidebound oldster to disapprove of talented writing that flouts his or her cherished illusions.
    , @Don Bacon
    Fred is to be contemplated, not enjoyed. And when we look at the situation differently we're better off. From the foreword in "Curmudgeing Through Paradise" -- "What I figure is, we're all going to croak anyway, so we might as well not worry too much about it." Or as I sometimes say (not in a book): "It's impossible to overestimate the unimportance of almost everything." -- That's Fred. I don't always agree with him, but most people don't always agree with me either. Prollly you don't.
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  6. Mr. Reedissimo has been steeped in Mexicanity for quite a while now.

    “Uno mas articulo? Manana, manana.”

    “Please don’t say manana if you don’t mean it,
    cause one of these days you may just wind up being wrong.”

    Let’s reggae, reefers!

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  7. @TheOldOne
    Things do change; there was a time I enjoyed Fred; now I'd just as soon he packed it in for good.

    Things do change; there was a time I enjoyed Fred; now I’d just as soon he packed it in for good.

    LOL. How unusual for the hidebound oldster to disapprove of talented writing that flouts his or her cherished illusions.

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  8. Zed says:

    Fred, stay on vacation and don’t come back! Finally confront your wife’s infidelity and be a man. Sancho es en to casa, gringo!

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  9. Don Bacon says:
    @TheOldOne
    Things do change; there was a time I enjoyed Fred; now I'd just as soon he packed it in for good.

    Fred is to be contemplated, not enjoyed. And when we look at the situation differently we’re better off. From the foreword in “Curmudgeing Through Paradise” — “What I figure is, we’re all going to croak anyway, so we might as well not worry too much about it.” Or as I sometimes say (not in a book): “It’s impossible to overestimate the unimportance of almost everything.” — That’s Fred. I don’t always agree with him, but most people don’t always agree with me either. Prollly you don’t.

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    • Replies: @Pat Kittle
    "Prolly" has 2 l's, not 3.

    Learn to spelll.
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  10. @Don Bacon
    Fred is to be contemplated, not enjoyed. And when we look at the situation differently we're better off. From the foreword in "Curmudgeing Through Paradise" -- "What I figure is, we're all going to croak anyway, so we might as well not worry too much about it." Or as I sometimes say (not in a book): "It's impossible to overestimate the unimportance of almost everything." -- That's Fred. I don't always agree with him, but most people don't always agree with me either. Prollly you don't.

    “Prolly” has 2 l’s, not 3.

    Learn to spelll.

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